JustPearlyThings - December 25, 2022


Modern women are Allergic to this...


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

219.69205

Word count

3,039

Sentence count

264

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the dangers of sex without a condom and how to deal with it. We also discuss the role of men in this and how they need to stop playing Russian roulette with their own bodies.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I feel like most people, let's be honest, like to sleep without condoms, right?
00:00:04.960 But at the end of the day, let's say you meet a guy on a party and you choose to sleep without a condom, yeah?
00:00:11.420 You don't know what he's been doing.
00:00:13.400 He might have been in London, Birmingham, Rio de Janeiro, Paris, Amsterdam.
00:00:18.580 He's been everywhere.
00:00:20.420 And you let him enter.
00:00:21.440 That's not only about you let him maybe getting pregnant.
00:00:25.380 That's about you being irresponsible with your body.
00:00:27.760 And I feel like a lot of people need to come to terms with themselves and think, you know what?
00:00:31.700 This is my body.
00:00:32.920 Because at the end of the day, women, for example, with chlamydia, a lot of women don't know that they have it. 0.87
00:00:38.580 Let's say, yeah, you get chlamydia.
00:00:41.160 You don't get checked up often.
00:00:43.100 You might get infertile.
00:00:44.420 That's on you because you chose to let someone enter your body without a condom. 0.78
00:00:48.920 That was your choice.
00:00:50.200 And I have a question.
00:00:51.100 Just ladies, hopefully we can be honest here. 1.00
00:00:54.800 How many of you have a guy in your friend zone that you know would date you and would be a good guy and would be there long-term?
00:01:01.120 Raise your hand if you do.
00:01:02.420 Raise your hand if you do.
00:01:03.760 Raise your hand.
00:01:04.460 A good guy that you know would date you, take you.
00:01:06.500 You don't have one?
00:01:07.420 None.
00:01:07.840 No, they are smart.
00:01:08.940 They wouldn't date me.
00:01:09.960 No, none.
00:01:10.720 Okay.
00:01:11.160 Okay.
00:01:12.240 Yeah.
00:01:12.580 Three.
00:01:13.100 Three.
00:01:13.440 Okay.
00:01:14.020 So it's like, no, none, none.
00:01:16.240 Can I just touch on what you said about the Russian roulette with the pill?
00:01:20.320 See, like, I will only sleep with someone without a condom unless, like, I'm kind of with them and that's a thing.
00:01:26.640 And I know they're not with anyone else.
00:01:27.700 And if they've been checked.
00:01:28.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:29.300 Okay.
00:01:29.720 But if I forget my pill, like, say, a one-day, two-day, I don't play Russian roulette.
00:01:35.000 I'll openly say to them, look, I forgot my pill.
00:01:37.480 We need to wrap up.
00:01:38.860 Be careful.
00:01:39.420 Because that's my responsibility. 0.99
00:01:40.700 Yeah, because I've also heard these stories where girls, I'm sorry, but nothing against women, but this to me sounds so fucking fucked. 0.99
00:01:48.680 Oh, I'm sorry. 0.99
00:01:49.620 I'm sorry.
00:01:50.260 This sounds so weird in my head.
00:01:52.800 Where girls lie to men. 1.00
00:01:54.620 Baby chap, yeah.
00:01:55.100 And they say they're on contraception.
00:01:57.880 I'm thinking, what are you doing?
00:01:59.860 It's happened to a lot of my male friends.
00:02:01.220 What are you doing?
00:02:01.680 A lot of them.
00:02:02.220 I just don't get it.
00:02:03.140 You're literally playing with fire.
00:02:04.760 I have a question for the men.
00:02:06.060 Do any of you guys know a guy that's happened to?
00:02:08.100 Yeah, loads of people.
00:02:08.880 100%.
00:02:09.440 I'm just curious.
00:02:10.660 Men in the back. 0.76
00:02:11.480 Men in the back. 0.76
00:02:12.100 So there's six men in the back.
00:02:13.940 100%.
00:02:14.200 Seven men.
00:02:15.000 Raise your hand if you know someone that's happened to.
00:02:16.600 Come on, mom. 1.00
00:02:17.300 Anytime.
00:02:18.040 So, all right.
00:02:18.660 Seven.
00:02:19.080 And then you two.
00:02:20.240 You two.
00:02:20.820 So it's common.
00:02:21.520 Yeah, but Poe.
00:02:22.160 Which goes back to, we have more power because, look at, all of these guys know somebody where
00:02:27.760 the women lied and said she was on birth control. 1.00
00:02:29.940 In that instance, I have a question.
00:02:32.820 Did he really have a choice?
00:02:34.400 No, he doesn't.
00:02:35.320 Can I say something, right?
00:02:36.520 Go ahead.
00:02:36.740 Power, no power.
00:02:37.540 Every action is a consequence.
00:02:38.620 He has to really take the consequence regardless.
00:02:41.280 I'm sorry.
00:02:41.900 Yeah, but that's kind of her point.
00:02:43.620 No power, no power.
00:02:44.240 No.
00:02:44.720 Every action is a consequence.
00:02:45.820 So what I'll say in that scenario, obviously I'm not going to take onus of the man because
00:02:51.480 I'm not going to trust the woman straight away. 1.00
00:02:53.800 Because this is the easiest way to get trapped.
00:02:55.100 And if you've got something about you and if you're worth anything, then you're not going
00:02:58.320 to be, you're going to take some steps, right?
00:03:00.160 But once again, what you're doing is you're not placing any blame on the women.
00:03:05.660 You're saying the men is everything when we don't have the choice.
00:03:08.420 So if the choice is taken away from most men, then you can't really put the blame firmly
00:03:13.560 on most men.
00:03:14.980 So my thing is this, like, so you meet women that are single mothers.
00:03:19.560 And for us men, we look at single mothers in two scenarios, baby mothers and single mothers.
00:03:24.480 If you were married and then you were divorced or you're widowed, we look at you as a single
00:03:28.380 mother.
00:03:29.340 If you was just had a baby by some guy, situationship, whatever it was, we look at you as a baby
00:03:34.000 mums.
00:03:34.300 And men, we treat women different. 0.79
00:03:36.040 So when we're out now, we meet a lot of baby mums outside. 0.99
00:03:38.740 And then we look at you like, where's your baby father?
00:03:40.400 And a lot of times you can't get typically higher than your baby father.
00:03:43.320 So what tends to happen is you guys have gone and bred by some guy and you might not speak
00:03:47.180 highly of him.
00:03:48.080 You might say all these types of things.
00:03:49.320 But then we think about, oh my gosh, that's the guy you chose to give the highest honour
00:03:52.340 to.
00:03:52.720 So when you're outside now and you're trying to think you can level up your level and
00:03:56.760 you're saying, oh, you don't want to settle.
00:03:58.460 What you actually don't want to do is you don't want to realise what your actual realistic
00:04:01.880 level is.
00:04:02.680 And this is the problem for a lot of baby mothers. 1.00
00:04:04.440 So can I just ask you a question?
00:04:05.540 Would you judge a woman based on their previous partner?
00:04:09.140 Is that what you're saying?
00:04:09.600 A hundred percent.
00:04:10.480 Facts.
00:04:11.000 A hundred percent percent.
00:04:12.940 I have a question for the men and this is just something I've heard and tell me if this
00:04:16.700 is true. 0.68
00:04:17.540 Would you, if a girl has an ex that you, you think is like trash, like absolute, like waste, 0.95
00:04:24.000 what do you guys say? 0.99
00:04:24.600 Wasteman here?
00:04:25.340 That's the word.
00:04:26.540 Yeah, waste man.
00:04:28.660 Do you guys, is she like tainted?
00:04:30.460 Yeah, a hundred percent.
00:04:31.140 A hundred percent, bro.
00:04:32.100 I can't, I can't.
00:04:32.800 But that goes both ways.
00:04:34.040 It's the same for us though.
00:04:34.800 That goes both ways.
00:04:35.920 I don't think it does.
00:04:36.720 I'm not going to ask you.
00:04:37.420 I'm sorry.
00:04:38.120 I'm sorry.
00:04:38.400 There's a lot of men, there's a lot of, there's a lot of men or women lining up to date Drake,
00:04:45.480 even though he had a baby with a cornstar.
00:04:47.720 I don't think you say, but it depends on the person, but I feel like if you look at
00:04:52.720 yourself, yeah, and the person you date is a kind of a, what you said is, is a reflection
00:04:59.600 of you.
00:05:00.180 I do agree.
00:05:00.660 So if, if someone that you know has dated someone, um, and you don't really like that
00:05:07.560 person, I'm thinking to myself, why are you associating yourself with that person?
00:05:12.060 Because that's a reflection on you.
00:05:13.740 I definitely, I agree.
00:05:14.900 I do agree.
00:05:15.680 And that's why your point about the whole leak thing that we spoke about before, I did semi-agree,
00:05:19.480 but there are liars in this world and there are people that are manipulators and they can,
00:05:24.700 they're really good.
00:05:26.560 I'm not saying they don't, but I'm just saying that.
00:05:29.920 Can we not try and ignore that?
00:05:31.980 Okay.
00:05:32.080 Okay.
00:05:32.360 Okay.
00:05:32.820 I'll give you, okay.
00:05:33.780 Okay.
00:05:34.020 Okay.
00:05:34.460 I'll give you, I'll give you a one.
00:05:36.420 I'll give you one.
00:05:37.700 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:05:38.720 I'll give you, I'll give you one toxic ex. 1.00
00:05:41.320 I'll give you one liar that just bamboozled you. 0.98
00:05:43.780 Yeah. 0.93
00:05:44.360 Right.
00:05:44.880 I'll give you, I'll give you one.
00:05:46.440 Cause I'll, but I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 0.93
00:05:48.540 Like two, three, it's you, it's you, you're, then, then you're toxic.
00:05:53.400 So, so it's not like, can girls have one? 0.99
00:05:59.920 One, it depends how bad.
00:06:01.760 Did you make a kid with him?
00:06:04.960 But when it becomes a pattern, it's like, you didn't get bamboozled every single time.
00:06:09.540 Yeah, because then you need to reflect.
00:06:10.740 Debra, you have three different baby bodies. 1.00
00:06:13.100 They're all bad.
00:06:14.360 Not because I feel like I've been in a place.
00:06:16.920 I feel like before where I wasn't happy within myself.
00:06:21.380 And I feel like you attract a certain kind of person.
00:06:24.000 And now when I look back and I now am in a more comfortable position with myself, with
00:06:30.280 my career, the people I'm around, I look at people completely differently.
00:06:34.700 There's different kinds of people around me.
00:06:36.880 So I feel like in the past I've allowed situation.
00:06:40.440 And it's a, it's a hard one to take because you're like, I was the person that did that,
00:06:44.380 but I've allowed certain people in my life and I ignored my gut feeling.
00:06:49.760 And that's on me.
00:06:50.660 I can be the victim.
00:06:51.440 I could be like, Oh, they treated me badly.
00:06:53.060 Yeah.
00:06:53.320 But the first time they treated you badly, you went back and you let them do it again.
00:06:57.280 And you let them do it again.
00:06:58.400 You need to sometimes just be like, you know what? 0.99
00:07:01.000 I'm a, I'm a loser. 0.97
00:07:02.980 And maybe you treated him badly too. 0.97
00:07:04.820 Yeah.
00:07:05.140 You could like, it takes two to tango.
00:07:06.980 Yeah, exactly.
00:07:07.860 That's a conversation.
00:07:08.740 Like women always want to talk about, Oh, my lying, cheating ex. 1.00
00:07:11.200 But why did he cheat?
00:07:12.560 Most men aren't looking to cheat.
00:07:14.000 What did, what were you not doing at home?
00:07:16.040 I'm serious.
00:07:17.500 Most men aren't going to, most men, I'm serious.
00:07:19.960 Some people are just the way they are.
00:07:21.800 Listen, I'll give you, again, again, I'll give you one.
00:07:25.680 One.
00:07:27.460 I'll give you one.
00:07:28.960 You've got to kiss a couple of frogs before you get to your.
00:07:30.920 No, you don't.
00:07:32.640 No, no, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't.
00:07:34.640 I'm just speaking about myself personally, because I get what you're saying.
00:07:38.000 Sometimes there are some friends in my life where I'm just like, time after time after
00:07:41.380 again, you're in the same situation with another guy.
00:07:44.240 He's just a different guy, same person, treating you the same way.
00:07:47.780 It's like, didn't you learn from the last time?
00:07:49.440 And that gets boring.
00:07:50.800 And it definitely is that person.
00:07:52.520 You are what you attract.
00:07:53.200 But in life, we have to experience, life is biggest lesson is experience.
00:07:58.560 So you have to go through.
00:07:59.440 Yeah, but you can't go through the same situation multiple times.
00:08:04.740 No, that's not what I'm saying.
00:08:05.860 Because that kind of, because if you, let's say, because you're saying you have to, if
00:08:11.660 every person you've dated, let's say, has a different toxic trait, then it's different.
00:08:15.980 But most of the time, when I look at my own, the reason why I wasn't working out before,
00:08:20.760 I didn't have good boundaries for myself.
00:08:22.740 So I allowed people to do things.
00:08:25.740 Now that I've worked on that, and I'm actively working on that, that won't happen to me again.
00:08:30.780 But I have to take responsibility in my past to be like, you know what?
00:08:34.960 I allowed that to happen.
00:08:36.120 I allowed them to do that to me.
00:08:37.540 I went back.
00:08:38.540 That's on me.
00:08:39.320 And I feel like a lot of people nowadays, because of this cancel culture and everything,
00:08:42.880 they're always like, it's other people, other people, other people.
00:08:45.040 At the end of the day, you came on this earth, and you need to take, yeah, you need to make
00:08:50.760 choices and take responsibility for that.
00:08:52.820 But I'm just saying it can take one toxic ex to end up pregnant, and then you've got 1.00
00:08:56.300 someone on the date that's judging you for the one bad person.
00:08:58.900 Yeah, but you had 40, like then you had 10 choices that you didn't make that went into
00:09:03.300 that one child.
00:09:05.220 You had the plan B.
00:09:06.960 You had birth control.
00:09:08.300 So I'm saying it wasn't just one bad decision.
00:09:11.820 It was like 10 that got you.
00:09:13.700 You can only get pregnant like three days a month. 0.88
00:09:15.940 And then back to the cheating thing, like it goes back to there's two different types
00:09:19.520 of reasons that girls keep getting cheated on. 1.00
00:09:21.620 You either pick a top 20% guy where that girls are thrown at him all the time, and that's 1.00
00:09:26.680 your choice.
00:09:27.320 Like it kind of goes back to, I always say, if you date an NBA player or, you know, even
00:09:31.320 I'll even give you a basketball player out here.
00:09:33.200 If you date one of them and you get cheated on, I don't really feel bad for you.
00:09:36.460 That's what you picked.
00:09:37.660 Or number two, you're not doing something at home. 0.98
00:09:40.520 It's hard for men to get sex.
00:09:42.720 So like if you're not sleeping with your man, I don't feel bad if you get cheated on.
00:09:46.540 But Pearl, you know what this sounds like to us?
00:09:48.400 Like this just sounds like to us, like you spent your 20s chasing bad boys, getting run
00:09:51.780 through Chad and Tyrone, and then in your 30s or whenever it is, you decide that actually
00:09:56.220 the results wasn't as good.
00:09:57.660 You come out with a kid.
00:09:58.680 I want the nice guy again.
00:09:59.680 Yeah, you come out more damaged now.
00:10:01.260 And now you start looking at guys you didn't look.
00:10:02.940 So for us now, it doesn't sound like, you know, what does it sound like we're getting?
00:10:07.720 We're getting someone that's got more trauma.
00:10:09.620 They might have children.
00:10:11.580 And then now what do I actually get?
00:10:14.060 So what good is it to men?
00:10:16.280 I know, but I was just saying, based on what you said before, about sometimes if a woman's
00:10:21.180 got a toxic ex or someone who's just trashed, basically, you would look at them and say,
00:10:25.860 you just basically not, you're not interested in them.
00:10:28.480 That would be a deal breaker for you.
00:10:29.720 So I was just saying for some people, in some cases, they have, they go, they make that one
00:10:34.080 mistake and you're saying they had 10 choices.
00:10:36.360 But I go back to that point of can we not, can we, can we not forget there are people that
00:10:41.020 really do, they're good at manipulating and acting like they are one person up until whilst
00:10:45.860 you're pregnant, like the lady we had on the platform before. 0.90
00:10:47.740 I know, but she, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:10:49.780 She said there were red flags.
00:10:51.420 Yeah, and there may be, but then you have to take into account her age.
00:10:54.500 She also said she was 21.
00:10:55.900 So also, red flags that she recognizes now.
00:10:58.040 Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, okay, okay, okay, let's go, let's go.
00:11:02.560 Yeah, yeah, you're 21, so I don't really think that's young.
00:11:05.660 That's just my opinion.
00:11:06.380 No, I'm not saying it's magical.
00:11:06.980 Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay.
00:11:10.080 So, so on top of that, she had the choice to have a kid before you got married or after 0.98
00:11:14.860 you got married, and she could have said, she could have said, I'm going to have an
00:11:17.780 IUD until I have a ring.
00:11:19.820 She could have did that. 0.99
00:11:20.760 She didn't make that choice.
00:11:22.080 She could have made the choice to track her cycle.
00:11:23.820 She could have made the choice to go on birth control. 0.98
00:11:25.600 She could have made the choice to get an abortion. 1.00
00:11:27.540 She could have made the choice to pick a guy that didn't have all these red flags, but it's
00:11:31.040 like 10 choices that go into the one choice.
00:11:33.120 I'm not saying she's a bad person.
00:11:34.580 I'm not, like, she's beautiful.
00:11:35.660 I'm sure she'll, like, find someone else, but it's going to be a lot harder now, and I understand
00:11:40.120 why men wouldn't want to deal with that. 0.88
00:11:41.760 Have you ever been a victim of fraud, like online fraud?
00:11:44.220 Where you going with it?
00:11:47.500 I wanted to hear this.
00:11:48.500 Have you?
00:11:48.880 Yeah, where you going with it?
00:11:49.640 I have, where you going with it?
00:11:50.380 Fraud.
00:11:52.020 You know what?
00:11:52.540 I think I got my Venmo hacked once.
00:11:55.160 I've had this multiple times.
00:11:56.500 Yeah, and you know what? 0.99
00:11:57.180 And I would say, when I got my Venmo hacked, it was my own damn fault. 0.97
00:12:00.620 And it may have been. 0.99
00:12:01.240 It was my own damn fault. 0.99
00:12:02.580 And it may have been. 0.99
00:12:03.000 But they took your money, sis. 1.00
00:12:03.300 And now someone on the date is looking at me, saying you've got a baby, and you made the wrong
00:12:06.140 choice, and you had several choices to do that and do this. 1.00
00:12:08.320 And if someone said that you're an idiot for doing that, and I look at you different now, 1.00
00:12:14.220 Yeah, yeah, I would say, I would say, yeah, they probably could steal from me. 1.00
00:12:19.040 Wait, actually, I'm not going to say that.
00:12:20.780 No, but you can.
00:12:21.780 Can I, let me quickly just say something here, because I feel like I'm probably the youngest
00:12:26.100 on this panel.
00:12:27.320 No, I'm 21, innit?
00:12:30.460 And I understand my value enough to understand that my partner reflects my value and vice
00:12:35.680 versa.
00:12:36.340 So I would never really commit to anybody that I know is not going to match that to an extent,
00:12:46.560 right?
00:12:47.120 Also, I think, within understanding my value, I understand that for men, for a man to commit 0.82
00:12:52.480 to a woman, yeah, and, like, have that, it's a big thing.
00:12:57.320 Like, it is.
00:12:58.280 It takes a lot for a man to really, like, knuckle down and be like, I'm going to commit
00:13:01.700 to this person, as well as commit to having a child and being in the picture.
00:13:07.460 It's a lot, because men spread their seed, and we bear the kids, do you know what I'm 0.71
00:13:12.980 saying?
00:13:13.640 So I think the fact that stuff like that, to me, I've always naturally understood that,
00:13:19.860 and it's being discussed where people don't get it, is really interesting to me.
00:13:25.540 Like, I don't understand where the discourse is of that.
00:13:33.040 Sorry.
00:13:33.600 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:13:40.340 this platform.
00:13:41.760 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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