JustPearlyThings - November 14, 2023


Modern Women Are Poor with Keeping Relationships


Episode Stats

Length

27 minutes

Words per Minute

211.62137

Word Count

5,923

Sentence Count

163

Misogynist Sentences

32

Hate Speech Sentences

27


Summary

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the discuss the new movie, Blackish and what it means for women and their relationships. They also discuss why women should date men who have dated women in the past and why men should date women who have not dated before.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Panther, those call her friends, is exactly what we're talking about.
00:00:05.200 Dudes do not talk to their male friends like that.
00:00:08.040 Dudes were talking to her.
00:00:09.360 Men code switch because women can't handle the truth.
00:00:13.060 LP Berkshire, Pearl's the goat.
00:00:16.960 Chief Keefe, and that's why women deserve less.
00:00:19.720 Myron Gaines.
00:00:21.800 Pearl, I asked what parent takes criticism better.
00:00:27.080 Zero, Fallout 1, the problem is women go on to marry the stable guy.
00:00:30.960 Oh, I read that one already.
00:00:32.380 Blessing, can we watch the video?
00:00:43.060 Like now with Tommy, are you in touch with him at all?
00:00:46.680 Or do you just kind of?
00:00:48.260 I mean, text here and there, nothing too crazy.
00:00:51.940 I mean, he's married and happy and she's good to him.
00:00:55.500 And I totally support that and think that's great.
00:00:58.900 So, I mean, I hate to be annoying and going through this again.
00:01:02.060 I'm pretty sure she's annoyed.
00:01:03.200 But I respect their relationship and just glad he's happy and he has somebody in his life.
00:01:08.600 Do your boys like him or are they estranged?
00:01:11.780 They do.
00:01:12.160 They like him.
00:01:12.760 No, they see him all the time.
00:01:14.500 They see him all the time.
00:01:15.440 And I think that this movie, too, is kind of like a love letter to their parents.
00:01:19.800 They know they come from true love.
00:01:22.240 They want people to see the real story.
00:01:24.320 And I thought that was kind of cute and kind of charming and really, you know, Brandon is very artistic and really wanted to show the story from a real, true, authentic perspective.
00:01:35.940 It was really well done and I enjoyed it.
00:01:38.780 And sometimes I found myself going, I wonder if I said to Pam, well, do you have any regrets?
00:01:43.540 Like, do you think there were certain things in life or would you just do it all over the same exact way?
00:01:48.680 Was it a fun ride or was it tragic or miserable?
00:01:53.040 How do you assess it?
00:01:54.680 It was all of it.
00:01:55.620 But it was more good times than bad.
00:01:58.420 And I wouldn't do it any other way.
00:02:01.520 I mean, I just feel like it was just this wild, wild ride.
00:02:05.120 And I made a home in one piece.
00:02:06.940 I came back to the place I grew up in.
00:02:08.460 I bought the house of my grandmother and I'm living in it.
00:02:10.620 And I'm looking at my life from the same place my feet touched the ground when I was a baby.
00:02:15.680 I mean, I'm right.
00:02:16.920 I look at it all like a movie.
00:02:21.900 Do you think women learn from their mistakes typically?
00:02:27.000 Maybe they have to be repeated again and again to learn, I think.
00:02:31.700 I think they learn eventually.
00:02:32.560 Yeah, it's difficult to learn things from the first time of making a mistake.
00:02:36.460 I think so.
00:02:37.520 I think it depends on the woman.
00:02:38.900 Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you.
00:02:39.940 I think it depends on the woman and where she is in her life.
00:02:43.620 Probably not.
00:02:44.640 But there are some who do.
00:02:47.100 But in general, you would say no.
00:02:48.880 I mean, I can only, for me, I learnt.
00:02:51.560 But in general, I probably think no.
00:02:53.360 No.
00:02:53.800 What do you think?
00:02:54.220 Most women are in a vicious cycle.
00:02:56.980 It just never ends.
00:02:57.980 Yeah.
00:02:59.280 They're chasing something.
00:03:00.540 What do you guys think?
00:03:01.220 Do you think in general women learn from their mistakes or no?
00:03:04.340 Like I said, eventually.
00:03:05.940 But it takes a while to get there.
00:03:07.700 How many times?
00:03:10.300 I'd say on average, maybe three.
00:03:12.060 Three times.
00:03:13.300 That's very specific.
00:03:14.240 Three times for how many years?
00:03:16.100 Oh.
00:03:16.620 How many months?
00:03:18.120 I'd say three times with a person.
00:03:20.180 I feel like in terms of learning.
00:03:22.140 Yeah, I feel like in terms of learning your mistakes as well, it comes into growing up and your age and stuff.
00:03:29.360 Like the same chances I would have given someone, I don't know, a few years ago, I wouldn't give them now.
00:03:33.840 Like that would take me longer to learn.
00:03:35.240 I mean, take me quicker to learn than it would have before.
00:03:38.060 Does that make sense?
00:03:39.040 What do you think?
00:03:40.920 Yeah, I think it definitely depends on where you are in your stage of growth and what you have experienced before and how you've reflected on that.
00:03:50.060 Do you think men should date women that have dated bad boys in the past?
00:03:56.120 Men should date women?
00:03:57.920 Do you think that men should date women that have dated bad boys in the past?
00:04:02.700 Why not?
00:04:03.480 I think they might have an attitude, women who date bad boys in the past.
00:04:06.340 I don't have an attitude.
00:04:07.180 I think that there's pros and cons to it.
00:04:08.380 We're not talking about you.
00:04:09.320 We're talking about in general.
00:04:10.060 In general, I think that there are pros and cons to it.
00:04:12.000 I think from for a man who has dated for a man who dates a woman who has dated a bad boy in the past
00:04:18.280 You would hope or you would think that she would learn from the mistakes of the bad boy and appreciate the good guy
00:04:24.160 Right, and then on the flip side of that. I guess it's there's a positive
00:04:28.040 There is a negative because a guy who dates a woman who has dated a bad boy before she will have this
00:04:35.520 Trauma this trauma or she may bleed on him when he didn't cut her if that makes sense
00:04:40.500 So I feel like there's pros and cons to it. It's like almost the men of the future have to pay for the mistakes of her past
00:04:45.720 I feel like everybody has to pay for the mistakes of people's past if you're not healing from it
00:04:50.260 And you're not learning from it for sure
00:04:51.560 I mean, I'm sure we've all at some point had a guy that's like trying to go through your phone because some girl cheated on him before
00:04:56.300 Do you know what I mean? Yeah?
00:04:58.300 Taking your thumb and unlocking your phone when you're sleeping. Yeah, all of that stuff experienced it all
00:05:03.120 Yeah, I think it's more high risk for a guy obviously to get involved woman that's had a
00:05:08.180 Part a bad past but a lot of men do like to play the hero
00:05:12.780 Hmm, you know what I feel like I feel like even though sorry
00:05:16.400 Sorry, so this is save a hoe
00:05:24.180 Funny enough even though men come across with the stronger personalities than us
00:05:29.560 I feel like when it comes to relationships and being emotional I feel like they are kind of more fragile in the sense where you
00:05:35.300 One woman will hurt a man and it will stay with him for his whole life
00:05:38.300 Whereas with a woman even though we do get hurt and it will take us a while to get over it
00:05:42.380 We're not gonna portray that in every single situation
00:05:45.520 Who talks about her exes more men or women?
00:05:48.520 Women
00:05:49.280 The hurt party
00:05:51.020 We might talk about it
00:05:52.120 But their demeanor will change like the way they act and the way they actually carry themselves will change because of one relationship
00:05:57.580 That's what I've seen
00:05:58.640 So do you think that men are not as resilient as women or do you think that?
00:06:05.180 That men in certain situations allow themselves to be vulnerable allow themselves to trust a woman and she shits on it
00:06:12.540 And that's why it hits him just as hard because he that is not a man's default necessarily
00:06:17.140 Maybe they just learn what works and what doesn't you know men are problem solvers
00:06:21.800 So if they treat a woman like a queen and she treats him like shit, and then they realize oh if I if I treat her worse
00:06:29.240 She treats me better. Do you know what I think? I think
00:06:31.800 When it comes to thinking I think men think with logic women obviously you think of emotion
00:06:39.500 I feel like emotionally it's easier to heal yourself
00:06:43.340 Than logically because I feel like logically you're gonna be thinking okay, so the past two women did this to me
00:06:48.040 I need to now watch out for this in the third one. Whereas where
00:06:51.640 Certain women are emotional. It's gonna be I don't know. They're gonna be more prone to forgive
00:06:56.320 If that makes sense. I find it and to move on if that also makes kind of sense. Yeah, no, it does make sense
00:07:01.760 I I totally I get where you're coming from and I definitely think that women wouldn't you know
00:07:06.760 It's biology women operate from you know the emotional side and men tend to operate from the logical side, but I
00:07:12.720 Think that I don't know. I'm definitely an emotional woman
00:07:17.220 I feel everything very intently, but my experiences have led me to be very logical in my decision-making
00:07:24.060 Right, so it's like I can sit around and I can be upset that my relationship ended or let's say hypothetically a guy cheated on me
00:07:30.540 Right. I can sit around and oh my god, but I just feel so worthless. What was it or I can okay cool. Look
00:07:36.480 Oh, all right, that's not really the best example to give but you can look at something logically and be accountable and
00:07:45.200 Forgive yourself and then you don't need to chase the whole emotion thing if that makes sense the whole yeah
00:07:50.380 I kind of know where I was going with but I don't know
00:07:52.180 I hear what you're saying, but at the same time
00:07:54.560 I feel like cool in the same situation where we would be on the emotional side of things like I've been a guy will now be logically thinking
00:08:01.780 Okay, so cool. This girl has done this to me
00:08:03.780 Now I'm gonna do this to prevent this from happening again
00:08:07.420 And now he's gonna start building up that kind of themselves that kind of wall you get it
00:08:11.180 So it's gonna be a thing where now maybe he didn't use to act like this before
00:08:14.780 But he acts like this now because of what he's been through, but it's not necessarily emotional
00:08:18.740 Not necessarily emotional. It's now kind of wired into his brain. It's like a problem-solver. Yeah, it's a problem-solver
00:08:23.780 So this was the problem and this is how I'm gonna solve the problem by not letting anyone else in
00:08:27.740 So I can get the youngest hottest women by treating them like shit
00:08:32.600 Because that's what they want or that's at least what they're alluding to what they want
00:08:36.240 Yeah, I think the only extra exception to that about talking about exes is when a man has been divorced
00:08:41.300 I think that they do that that really plays on their mind and that that's very difficult for them to move past
00:08:49.000 What is one thing that you did wrong that contributed to your last relationship or a relationship ending and you cannot say
00:08:58.640 I just overlooked a red flag. I can take this one, okay
00:09:02.720 I was a coward in my last relationship. I will own that hundred percent
00:09:07.700 I was a coward and I was scared and I wasn't honest and I was
00:09:14.360 I lied and and
00:09:17.020 I think if I hadn't have been so cowardly in the last year of our relationship
00:09:22.840 We would have parted it wouldn't we wouldn't have had the war that we had if I was braver
00:09:27.900 Mm-hmm and I weren't so scared of the repercussions
00:09:31.040 Yeah, okay. I'll own that. I know that this is gonna make me sound really bad, but there it goes
00:09:37.460 That one I'm not entirely sure if this was the real reason or it was an excuse for him
00:09:42.240 But what ended up happening was long and short of it at the start of the relationship
00:09:47.780 He cheated on me and then he came back asking me to marry him and then I actually said yes
00:09:53.300 And then I went back and said actually no
00:09:55.340 Mm-hmm I don't feel like marriage is where we're at right now
00:09:58.180 And it was it actually did become a bit of an on-and-off relationship actually I said I haven't done enough
00:10:02.600 But in hindsight it was more on and off as in
00:10:06.020 Break up for a few days and back together, you know a lot like a long period and the last time that he came back
00:10:11.660 He said to me
00:10:13.660 Right, you know, let's get back on together and I said actually someone previously that I dated had got back in touch with me
00:10:19.960 And we had arranged to meet up for a drink and I honestly said actually I'm not ready to get back for you yet
00:10:25.920 I've got a date in the diary with this ex
00:10:28.900 That I just actually want to see whether or not I still feel anything towards this person and that was kind of a
00:10:35.300 Big smash to his ego and he for him. That was the final straw
00:10:39.880 Okay, so you saw an ex while you guys were dating
00:10:43.660 No, once we'd broken up, and I thought it was the end. I somebody from my past had reached out to me
00:10:49.380 So so I don't know what was the what were you what's your accountability for the demise of your last relationship?
00:10:56.740 Maybe because he wanted to feel like I was the one and only man ever for him and that I wasn't looking at another option
00:11:01.780 No, but you're talking about him. What was your accountability?
00:11:04.980 What do you think you did sorry, Pearl?
00:11:07.420 Well, by showing that I still wanted to explore other options I guess
00:11:14.020 Okay, I don't know if I was wrong for that. Maybe not. I'm confused because I thought that was after you guys broke up
00:11:19.980 Or you were together. So it was on he kept breaking up with me and then getting back together like a week later
00:11:24.660 Okay, so in between that so the time that yet she came back and said okay, let's get back together
00:11:29.180 I said well in the interim period once you when you broke up with me
00:11:34.020 My ex got in touch and I'm arranging to meet up with him
00:11:37.140 So before that like what do you think contributed to him like breaking up with you?
00:11:41.460 Oh
00:11:42.460 Insecurity because I called off the engagement okay, and he felt that I didn't forgive him for the cheating I guess
00:11:47.500 Okay, not being able to let things go. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead
00:11:52.100 Okay
00:11:53.300 What was the question again? What is something that contributed to your last relationship ending?
00:11:59.460 Um that that you did that I did yeah, and you can't say I ignored red flags
00:12:05.700 Oh, no, that's always go to I think
00:12:08.540 What happened was that's what we all know. I was very young my I've only had two boyfriends
00:12:13.960 so it's this one I've got now and
00:12:16.740 the one before I
00:12:18.820 Think because I have like a real passion for something as well, and I studied it when I was in secondary school
00:12:24.200 Oh, obviously I had to go home because it was long distance of FaceTime him and it was quite a lot
00:12:32.340 Especially when you have to wake up at like six in the morning every single morning and then train
00:12:37.260 until six two and I think I honestly I
00:12:43.400 Think it was quite natural. I think it was just like I can't do this anymore
00:12:48.160 I'm also a bit young for you and I don't know what I want
00:12:52.600 um also
00:12:54.600 I if anything I just kind of wanted to focus on what I was doing
00:12:59.160 Because so you just weren't that invested in the relationship. Yeah, I think in the end at the start
00:13:03.800 I've really was and then I just thought also am I
00:13:08.540 Like just in this to just be in this because I did have such a deep feeling for him, but
00:13:16.800 Then again, I was so young to even
00:13:19.460 know what it was really I don't know whether it was just I
00:13:24.220 Loved someone loving me or I don't know
00:13:27.780 Yeah, you're only 21 or 22. Yeah, 21 everyone's like she's only a two boyfriends. Oh my gosh, she's 21
00:13:33.060 Yeah
00:13:35.060 Um go ahead
00:13:37.060 Oh me yeah, okay, um
00:13:39.620 What I can say is in my last relationship. I think that
00:13:44.900 During the um the time of my relationship. I was obviously young
00:13:48.860 So I used to be like a bit of a doormat in a way. I used to kind of let this guy get away with whatever he wanted to and
00:13:56.140 Just kind of accept things and like overlook a lot of things
00:13:59.980 So when it came towards the end, it was because I've now made this thing in the relationship where it's okay to do what you're doing
00:14:06.620 So now when I've actually tried to come and talk back and like try actually stand up for myself
00:14:11.100 Because towards the end I felt like I matured a bit and I knew what I kind of wanted
00:14:14.520 And when he was doing certain things I'll tell him and then that's when things started to kind of backfire
00:14:18.840 And when I started to see the real toxic side of this man
00:14:21.640 It's only because I had allowed him to kind of walk on me in the first place and not really value myself that much
00:14:28.440 In order to tell him no like towards the end when I actually did decide to tell him stuff like no
00:14:33.800 He wouldn't have it. So your accountability is you let him be toxic. No. Well, yes
00:14:38.520 I know that it was more than me though
00:14:40.440 Like it was me not really standing up for myself. Were you being toxic too? No
00:14:44.520 So you weren't being toxic. I promise you. But he was being toxic very much and that's your accountability
00:14:49.800 No, my accountability is the fact that
00:14:55.320 You let things go, you let things go too easy. Yeah, like I let things go too easy. I didn't fight for nothing
00:14:59.720 I was just being a doormat. I used to let this guy just walk all over me like it's nothing and I wasn't really standing up for myself
00:15:05.480 If that makes sense. So so your your your accountability is you let him be toxic. Well, yeah
00:15:11.560 I say that. Yeah, because maybe if you didn't. Say it with your chest. All right
00:15:15.240 Yeah, no, because every time you say something and you repeat what I'm saying, I'm thinking it. Hmm. Oh, yeah
00:15:20.920 I'm just repeating what you said cool and less words. Okay, go ahead
00:15:24.760 I feel like and okay the way that I've been the most toxic I guess is by
00:15:35.240 Making decisions that I know how it's gonna go and I know it's gonna go badly for both of us
00:15:40.360 and
00:15:42.040 Still doing those things for whatever reason
00:15:45.400 It's like I could easily choose not to but I'm just like
00:15:49.400 Maybe I want to see if I still have a hold over this guy or what I can still do kind of thing
00:15:55.560 so I'll choose to make that bad decision and
00:15:58.460 Be like and then I'm halfway through the decision. I'll be like I already knew that
00:16:03.480 It was gonna play out this way. So why did I do it kind of thing?
00:16:06.360 I'm sorry. This is so broad. I'm just trying to understand
00:16:11.160 You're very philosophical, aren't you?
00:16:14.040 So for example, for example, um, we may have had an argument and
00:16:19.480 Um, we're not talking for a few days and I'll be like
00:16:23.560 I know that, you know, maybe we should break off the relationship
00:16:27.160 But I just want to see if I still have this hold over this guy
00:16:29.720 So I want to call him and be like, oh, um, let's go out and do something and then
00:16:34.840 See if he's going to react in a way where it's like, yes
00:16:38.600 And if you don't react in a way, that's yes, and I'm gonna be like, why?
00:16:41.720 Because then I want to feel like I don't have that hold over you and that's really toxic because I know
00:16:46.440 It's really freaking toxic because I know that, um
00:16:49.320 So you're waiting to break up with him until you felt like you've had him
00:16:52.920 No, no, no, no, no, because it's not a thing where I didn't have him. Um, I would always like we we have a connection
00:16:59.560 Like we've got that hold over each other, but I feel like maybe I was being insecure or something
00:17:05.000 I don't know but
00:17:06.440 When we had an argument or something like that and I would I was thinking to myself, you know what?
00:17:10.680 Maybe we should break up. Maybe um, this relationship isn't right for us. I'd be like
00:17:16.040 We've had an argument
00:17:17.720 I don't know how he now feels maybe he wants to call it quits as well
00:17:20.840 And I don't I've never had someone break up with me
00:17:24.120 So I'm always the one that makes me sound like such a cat, but I've always been the one doing the breaking up
00:17:29.320 So if I feel like oh, you know what we've had this argument and now you might want to break up with me
00:17:34.280 I need to make sure that's not the case by
00:17:37.640 Contacting you and seeing what's up and then if you don't want to break up with me, that's cool
00:17:41.960 I still know that you know, it's all good and if I wanted to break up with you, I could
00:17:46.440 I feel like what you're saying is you like playing the game. Yeah, you was being hella toxic
00:17:50.440 Yeah, I used to I used to be a very toxic very very toxic person
00:17:54.360 I feel like that's why now I can sit back and be like
00:17:57.960 There's a way to go about and not because I don't know it's just no more
00:18:00.520 Do you feel like men are aware of how toxic women can be?
00:18:04.200 No, yes, and they know they know they know
00:18:07.800 Oh, maybe they do
00:18:09.080 No, I'm telling you they know
00:18:10.200 But it's like you don't have to yeah
00:18:13.160 Yeah, but I I say these things and I just maybe I I don't know but I I don't know like every single man
00:18:19.080 This is why you know, you know your female friends, right?
00:18:21.800 And you know how they interact with their boyfriends and I'm sure you I'm sure you know one or two that's toxic, right?
00:18:27.320 Do you think their boyfriend's aware? I don't think my closest of friends any of them are toxic
00:18:32.120 Because I think their aim is to not be but I'm sure do you know a toxic girl anywhere?
00:18:37.320 Yeah, okay, so do you think their boyfriends know?
00:18:40.120 If they're toxic or not yeah
00:18:47.080 Yeah, I think maybe they just they just ignore it put up it depends how toxic you want to be
00:18:53.400 Because maybe he I don't know if she could be toxic on one specific thing
00:18:59.000 I can't think of one at the top of my head, but maybe that have you ever heard of a boy?
00:19:03.240 That's like um, I don't know he finds it attractive when a woman is like really gets hot-headed on something
00:19:10.440 Hot-headed, but you know what I mean? Yeah, like or I don't know
00:19:15.240 I feel you but I feel like this is why the game is called the game because everyone's always trying to one-up each other
00:19:19.880 But also, I don't understand how people have the energy for that
00:19:22.920 I know it's so draining because I've seen like one of my girls
00:19:25.800 I love her purity. Can we just say like she's like oh, I just I don't know
00:19:29.480 I love it. Honestly, yeah, there are so many other things you could be doing in that time run yourself a bath
00:19:37.240 Don't go on snapchat and then like
00:19:40.200 Half swipe it and don't reply to me now people have the energy to put up quotes to do all of this
00:19:45.640 That's so childish
00:19:46.360 Yeah, but you know the thing where people like message each other pretend not to see it for hours. Just open it
00:19:52.840 I do that yeah, but it's not even me being toxic. It's just me not being asked
00:19:56.600 People are like yeah, but I'm not gonna open it yet
00:19:59.080 Have you guys ever told a guy that a girl was being toxic?
00:20:02.520 Have you ever had to tell a guy that like a guy friend brother? Yep. Yep. Hell yeah. What happened? Oh
00:20:08.600 To be honest, I feel like
00:20:11.160 When I think about it guys kind of get sucked in like we do because he didn't leave her straight away
00:20:15.880 He knew that she was being toxic. He was like I know they like saying this. I know I know I know
00:20:19.640 But it's like he didn't leave her for a minute
00:20:21.480 I can't lie until he went to jail and then he realized like all right let's go
00:20:25.320 So she she was the toxic one, but he went to jail
00:20:29.720 Listen good people go to jail. I'm gonna tell you this for free
00:20:33.080 You can be good-hearted and you can be doing some stuff. That's obviously not the best
00:20:36.600 Yeah, but you still are doing something illegal
00:20:39.000 Okay, cool, but good-hearted people can do illegal stuff at one time slavery was legal remember that
00:20:44.440 We're gonna compare that to jail
00:20:46.440 Yeah
00:20:48.200 I'm just telling you like cool. You can't judge people all the time based off the life choices that they've made or
00:20:53.640 Based off what life has brought to them
00:20:55.480 I do I do judge people based on the choices they make
00:20:57.480 I judge people based on their personality and and the traits that they have
00:21:00.520 I think it depends on the scenario
00:21:02.520 If someone went to jail for armed robbery, I shouldn't judge them
00:21:05.800 It's not- I shouldn't judge them a little bit
00:21:08.360 Okay, but are you gonna are you gonna judge people for trying to make a living for themselves in a world that's not giving them an opportunity?
00:21:14.200 I have no sympathy if you're born in the west. I'm sorry
00:21:17.560 I know people that really had no opportunity that are born in third-world countries
00:21:21.640 That that literally had zero opportunity. So if you're born in the west, I have no sympathy
00:21:26.760 Fair enough. I think people should be responsible for their their actions for sure and be aware of the repercussions that are going to happen
00:21:33.160 But to bring it back to the question about toxic women
00:21:36.760 um, yeah for sure my brother dated a girl and um
00:21:40.600 she was very um
00:21:42.920 She was very demanding. She was very problematic
00:21:46.200 She would do things to get a reaction out of him
00:21:49.320 Like I don't know they might have like a small disagreement over like the smallest thing
00:21:53.800 And later on in the day she's posting the subliminals and she's going out and she's you know
00:21:58.600 Just all of this triggering shit that she knew excuse me that she knew would get a reaction from him
00:22:04.040 But it wasn't a positive reaction and you know in some cases
00:22:06.760 People act out and it's like any reaction is better than no reaction in some cases
00:22:11.080 So I think people just will either act out
00:22:14.920 But actually maturity and that non-toxic stuff is acting in a positive way
00:22:19.240 Like she could have got he's a she could have resolved
00:22:22.040 Some issues a lot easier, but she chose to be problematic
00:22:25.160 But there's ways to burn people without burning yourself because I know why are we burning people?
00:22:29.160 Why don't we just leave them where they're at?
00:22:30.440 No, but that what I'm trying to say is like cool for example one of my girls
00:22:34.360 I know we used to maybe like go out or something
00:22:36.600 She'll purposely make sure she's doing something that the guy that she's involved with is gonna see
00:22:41.480 So that he'll get mad and then when he gets mad now they're both arguing and it's just
00:22:46.200 If you want to like if you want him to burn just leave him you get me just leave him alone
00:22:50.120 And that's why I think like at the end of the day if I want someone to burn
00:22:53.640 If I want someone to just not feel my presence no more, they're not gonna feel it
00:22:57.000 They're gonna be there on my subscribe and they're gonna be watching my story burning
00:23:00.920 But I've got no involvement you can't message me you unsubscribe you get it
00:23:04.520 But the thing is why just not block or just unfollow?
00:23:07.320 Oh no because honey, I like to I like them to see what I'm doing
00:23:10.840 But if you don't want them anymore, why not?
00:23:12.680 Why?
00:23:13.080 No, because it's like now you know what you lost
00:23:15.160 There you go
00:23:15.880 Why do you care if they know what they lost?
00:23:18.840 I don't care if you're done. That's why I deleted them
00:23:21.560 No, but you're just talking about it. You just said I want them
00:23:25.160 Yeah, you just said you just wanted them to see it
00:23:27.160 Okay, I can't repeat what you said. So it's like cool. It's like cool. You know when people say like cool
00:23:31.640 The people that hate you in life like you want them to basically see you go far, right?
00:23:36.840 I don't know. That's if you care
00:23:38.840 I just don't. I don't care if they see me go far or they see me go nowhere
00:23:43.640 I don't want to see them at all
00:23:44.680 It's not a thing where you care or not, but it's like a thing where like at the end of the day
00:23:48.280 If you're gonna see me doing anything, it's gonna be something without you
00:23:51.000 Like you might not care or not. It's everyone's each opinion
00:23:53.720 But my opinion is I can't lie when people because I know I've got people who don't like me
00:23:58.280 I've got people who hate me and you can hate me from over there
00:24:01.160 I'm not gonna acknowledge you, but I know in the back of my head like you can hate me
00:24:04.760 But you're gonna see what I'm doing good and you're gonna see that I'm doing okay
00:24:08.280 Like without you like that's your business
00:24:10.200 Don't mean I'm gonna come message you and show you like I'm doing this I'm doing that
00:24:13.000 But when you see me here, you're gonna be burning in you
00:24:15.400 And that's better than me going back and forth with someone and me having an altercation with someone
00:24:19.960 I'd rather them just see me doing good and that's there you get it
00:24:24.360 There we go
00:24:26.360 I feel like you kind of changed what you said
00:24:27.960 No, but that's what I meant you get it
00:24:30.200 Okay, so I shouldn't believe what you say
00:24:32.440 I think that no because sometimes when I'm saying things
00:24:36.200 You don't know what you're saying
00:24:37.720 No, I do know what I'm saying
00:24:39.720 I know what I'm saying, but it's like
00:24:42.120 I was just explaining what I kind of meant behind what I said
00:24:44.280 Because sometimes when you say things bluntly like
00:24:46.520 You don't always understand it, but I'll just explain it
00:24:48.840 Okay
00:24:49.320 There we go
00:24:50.760 I think you were gonna say something or no?
00:24:52.200 No, no, I think you were ready to
00:24:53.800 You were gonna say something?
00:24:54.760 You were started saying something
00:24:56.200 I was just gonna say thank you
00:24:57.480 I was just gonna say I feel like um a lot of toxic behaviors come from ego and all these kind of things and
00:25:03.640 When you're with someone who is exhibiting these kind of behaviors
00:25:07.240 You can kind of see that ego seeping out in other areas of life
00:25:10.680 So I feel like unless you're really blinded by your emotions
00:25:13.720 You're gonna be able to see that oh, you know what?
00:25:15.720 Maybe my partner is being a bit toxic or whatever
00:25:18.120 But because um
00:25:20.200 You for whatever reason you want to stay in that kind of situation or you might find it hard to leave or whatever
00:25:25.880 Like you take your time to leave or you just don't
00:25:28.440 Yeah, I actually really don't like this word toxic
00:25:30.440 I feel like it gets thrown about the place too much
00:25:33.560 Uh, it gets um
00:25:35.480 It loses meaning
00:25:36.520 I just think it's just people understand it as so many different things and so what is toxic?
00:25:41.560 How do you summarize what's toxic to you might not be toxic to somebody else?
00:25:44.680 I just think it's a it's one of those words social media everyone's jumped on it now
00:25:48.040 Everything's toxic toxic masculinity toxic femininity toxic behaviors
00:25:52.840 Actually, why don't we just call it for what it is?
00:25:54.600 You're a shitty person. Yeah, you're you know, whatever you're arrogant or you haven't whatever your ego
00:26:00.440 Tistically motivated or whatever it is. I just I think we use it as like a filler word
00:26:05.880 Yeah, to summarize like loads of unnecessary things
00:26:08.360 Yeah, I think there's got to be context behind any particular behavioral trait that someone's displaying
00:26:13.560 You know, I think that a lot of people because they're that they will use the word
00:26:18.040 to almost not explore the actual context behind it and
00:26:21.480 But sometimes people just don't wanna that they don't want to spend their energy explaining why somebody's the way they are
00:26:26.040 But I just want to find a word to describe to you like this person is
00:26:29.880 I think people are very easily triggered
00:26:31.400 You know, even when you know friends come to relationship advice now, it's like oh, these are red flags
00:26:35.960 This is toxic and it's like
00:26:37.080 Women think everything is a red flag
00:26:39.080 Everything
00:26:39.880 Everything
00:26:40.680 Not everything is a red flag
00:26:41.400 Especially you see with ick culture, yeah
00:26:43.320 I can't know, ick culture makes me laugh
00:26:44.920 I saw what Nella Rose said
00:26:46.520 I get an ick when he walks to the car
00:26:49.720 Do you know what's so funny though?
00:26:50.760 What's that about women's red flags?
00:26:52.680 Like what are red flags in women?
00:26:54.360 I think when you've got like say if you've got a boyfriend
00:26:57.960 And then you've got like multiple boys on snapchat
00:27:01.640 Like and you're talking to them
00:27:03.560 Yeah, I don't
00:27:04.600 Especially if you say they're convenient
00:27:06.040 Yeah, I always think as well if you don't want him doing it, why are you doing it?
00:27:09.880 Exactly
00:27:10.680 If you don't want her doing it, why are you doing it?
00:27:12.680 I agree
00:27:13.160 Yeah, to some degree
00:27:14.200 I think of a red flag and a woman is a woman who has a girl woman whatever who has loads of male friends
00:27:20.440 But she doesn't have any female friends
00:27:21.880 Yeah, yeah, because that shows me that she will be comfortable in in that sort of
00:27:26.600 Okay, great. She's she's great. She connects with the guys whatever
00:27:28.840 But why are women not taking to her?
00:27:30.360 I'm not saying that she must have multiple, you know, the whole handful of friends
00:27:33.880 Why do you have not any at all?
00:27:35.800 Do you think it's a red flag if a woman is slept with a lot of men?
00:27:38.440 Yes, a little bit because it's like a little bit a little bit because as many of you know
00:27:44.040 I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform
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