JustPearlyThings - Modern Women Are Poor with Keeping Relationships

00:00:00.000 Panther, those call her friends, is exactly what we're talking about.

00:00:05.200 Dudes do not talk to their male friends like that.

00:00:08.040 Dudes were talking to her.

00:00:09.360 Men code switch because women can't handle the truth. 1.00

00:00:13.060 LP Berkshire, Pearl's the goat. 0.96

00:00:16.960 Chief Keefe, and that's why women deserve less. 1.00

00:00:19.720 Myron Gaines.

00:00:21.800 Pearl, I asked what parent takes criticism better.

00:00:27.080 Zero, Fallout 1, the problem is women go on to marry the stable guy. 1.00

00:00:30.960 Oh, I read that one already.

00:00:32.380 Blessing, can we watch the video?

00:00:43.060 Like now with Tommy, are you in touch with him at all?

00:00:46.680 Or do you just kind of?

00:00:48.260 I mean, text here and there, nothing too crazy.

00:00:51.940 I mean, he's married and happy and she's good to him.

00:00:55.500 And I totally support that and think that's great.

00:00:58.900 So, I mean, I hate to be annoying and going through this again.

00:01:02.060 I'm pretty sure she's annoyed.

00:01:03.200 But I respect their relationship and just glad he's happy and he has somebody in his life.

00:01:08.600 Do your boys like him or are they estranged?

00:01:11.780 They do.

00:01:12.160 They like him.

00:01:12.760 No, they see him all the time.

00:01:14.500 They see him all the time.

00:01:15.440 And I think that this movie, too, is kind of like a love letter to their parents.

00:01:19.800 They know they come from true love.

00:01:22.240 They want people to see the real story.

00:01:24.320 And I thought that was kind of cute and kind of charming and really, you know, Brandon is very artistic and really wanted to show the story from a real, true, authentic perspective.

00:01:35.940 It was really well done and I enjoyed it.

00:01:38.780 And sometimes I found myself going, I wonder if I said to Pam, well, do you have any regrets?

00:01:43.540 Like, do you think there were certain things in life or would you just do it all over the same exact way?

00:01:48.680 Was it a fun ride or was it tragic or miserable?

00:01:53.040 How do you assess it?

00:01:54.680 It was all of it.

00:01:55.620 But it was more good times than bad.

00:01:58.420 And I wouldn't do it any other way.

00:02:01.520 I mean, I just feel like it was just this wild, wild ride.

00:02:05.120 And I made a home in one piece.

00:02:06.940 I came back to the place I grew up in.

00:02:08.460 I bought the house of my grandmother and I'm living in it.

00:02:10.620 And I'm looking at my life from the same place my feet touched the ground when I was a baby.

00:02:15.680 I mean, I'm right.

00:02:16.920 I look at it all like a movie.

00:02:21.900 Do you think women learn from their mistakes typically? 1.00

00:02:27.000 Maybe they have to be repeated again and again to learn, I think.

00:02:31.700 I think they learn eventually.

00:02:32.560 Yeah, it's difficult to learn things from the first time of making a mistake.

00:02:36.460 I think so.

00:02:37.520 I think it depends on the woman. 1.00

00:02:38.900 Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you.

00:02:39.940 I think it depends on the woman and where she is in her life. 1.00

00:02:43.620 Probably not.

00:02:44.640 But there are some who do.

00:02:47.100 But in general, you would say no.

00:02:48.880 I mean, I can only, for me, I learnt.

00:02:51.560 But in general, I probably think no.

00:02:53.360 No.

00:02:53.800 What do you think?

00:02:54.220 Most women are in a vicious cycle. 1.00

00:02:56.980 It just never ends.

00:02:57.980 Yeah.

00:02:59.280 They're chasing something.

00:03:00.540 What do you guys think?

00:03:01.220 Do you think in general women learn from their mistakes or no? 0.96

00:03:04.340 Like I said, eventually.

00:03:05.940 But it takes a while to get there.

00:03:07.700 How many times?

00:03:10.300 I'd say on average, maybe three.

00:03:12.060 Three times.

00:03:13.300 That's very specific.

00:03:14.240 Three times for how many years?

00:03:16.100 Oh.

00:03:16.620 How many months?

00:03:18.120 I'd say three times with a person.

00:03:20.180 I feel like in terms of learning.

00:03:22.140 Yeah, I feel like in terms of learning your mistakes as well, it comes into growing up and your age and stuff.

00:03:29.360 Like the same chances I would have given someone, I don't know, a few years ago, I wouldn't give them now.

00:03:33.840 Like that would take me longer to learn.

00:03:35.240 I mean, take me quicker to learn than it would have before.

00:03:38.060 Does that make sense?

00:03:39.040 What do you think?

00:03:40.920 Yeah, I think it definitely depends on where you are in your stage of growth and what you have experienced before and how you've reflected on that.

00:03:50.060 Do you think men should date women that have dated bad boys in the past?

00:03:56.120 Men should date women? 0.99

00:03:57.920 Do you think that men should date women that have dated bad boys in the past?

00:04:02.700 Why not?

00:04:03.480 I think they might have an attitude, women who date bad boys in the past. 1.00

00:04:06.340 I don't have an attitude.

00:04:07.180 I think that there's pros and cons to it.

00:04:08.380 We're not talking about you.

00:04:09.320 We're talking about in general.

00:04:10.060 In general, I think that there are pros and cons to it.

00:04:12.000 I think from for a man who has dated for a man who dates a woman who has dated a bad boy in the past

00:04:18.280 You would hope or you would think that she would learn from the mistakes of the bad boy and appreciate the good guy

00:04:24.160 Right, and then on the flip side of that. I guess it's there's a positive

00:04:28.040 There is a negative because a guy who dates a woman who has dated a bad boy before she will have this

00:04:35.520 Trauma this trauma or she may bleed on him when he didn't cut her if that makes sense

00:04:40.500 So I feel like there's pros and cons to it. It's like almost the men of the future have to pay for the mistakes of her past

00:04:45.720 I feel like everybody has to pay for the mistakes of people's past if you're not healing from it

00:04:50.260 And you're not learning from it for sure

00:04:51.560 I mean, I'm sure we've all at some point had a guy that's like trying to go through your phone because some girl cheated on him before

00:04:56.300 Do you know what I mean? Yeah?

00:04:58.300 Taking your thumb and unlocking your phone when you're sleeping. Yeah, all of that stuff experienced it all

00:05:03.120 Yeah, I think it's more high risk for a guy obviously to get involved woman that's had a

00:05:08.180 Part a bad past but a lot of men do like to play the hero

00:05:12.780 Hmm, you know what I feel like I feel like even though sorry

00:05:16.400 Sorry, so this is save a hoe 1.00

00:05:24.180 Funny enough even though men come across with the stronger personalities than us

00:05:29.560 I feel like when it comes to relationships and being emotional I feel like they are kind of more fragile in the sense where you

00:05:35.300 One woman will hurt a man and it will stay with him for his whole life 1.00

00:05:38.300 Whereas with a woman even though we do get hurt and it will take us a while to get over it 1.00

00:05:42.380 We're not gonna portray that in every single situation

00:05:45.520 Who talks about her exes more men or women? 0.85

00:05:48.520 Women 1.00

00:05:49.280 The hurt party

00:05:51.020 We might talk about it

00:05:52.120 But their demeanor will change like the way they act and the way they actually carry themselves will change because of one relationship

00:05:57.580 That's what I've seen

00:05:58.640 So do you think that men are not as resilient as women or do you think that? 0.99

00:06:05.180 That men in certain situations allow themselves to be vulnerable allow themselves to trust a woman and she shits on it 0.99

00:06:12.540 And that's why it hits him just as hard because he that is not a man's default necessarily

00:06:17.140 Maybe they just learn what works and what doesn't you know men are problem solvers 0.99

00:06:21.800 So if they treat a woman like a queen and she treats him like shit, and then they realize oh if I if I treat her worse 1.00

00:06:29.240 She treats me better. Do you know what I think? I think 1.00

00:06:31.800 When it comes to thinking I think men think with logic women obviously you think of emotion 1.00

00:06:39.500 I feel like emotionally it's easier to heal yourself

00:06:43.340 Than logically because I feel like logically you're gonna be thinking okay, so the past two women did this to me

00:06:48.040 I need to now watch out for this in the third one. Whereas where

00:06:51.640 Certain women are emotional. It's gonna be I don't know. They're gonna be more prone to forgive 1.00

00:06:56.320 If that makes sense. I find it and to move on if that also makes kind of sense. Yeah, no, it does make sense

00:07:01.760 I I totally I get where you're coming from and I definitely think that women wouldn't you know 1.00

00:07:06.760 It's biology women operate from you know the emotional side and men tend to operate from the logical side, but I

00:07:12.720 Think that I don't know. I'm definitely an emotional woman

00:07:17.220 I feel everything very intently, but my experiences have led me to be very logical in my decision-making

00:07:24.060 Right, so it's like I can sit around and I can be upset that my relationship ended or let's say hypothetically a guy cheated on me

00:07:30.540 Right. I can sit around and oh my god, but I just feel so worthless. What was it or I can okay cool. Look

00:07:36.480 Oh, all right, that's not really the best example to give but you can look at something logically and be accountable and

00:07:45.200 Forgive yourself and then you don't need to chase the whole emotion thing if that makes sense the whole yeah

00:07:50.380 I kind of know where I was going with but I don't know

00:07:52.180 I hear what you're saying, but at the same time

00:07:54.560 I feel like cool in the same situation where we would be on the emotional side of things like I've been a guy will now be logically thinking

00:08:01.780 Okay, so cool. This girl has done this to me 0.88

00:08:03.780 Now I'm gonna do this to prevent this from happening again

00:08:07.420 And now he's gonna start building up that kind of themselves that kind of wall you get it

00:08:11.180 So it's gonna be a thing where now maybe he didn't use to act like this before

00:08:14.780 But he acts like this now because of what he's been through, but it's not necessarily emotional

00:08:18.740 Not necessarily emotional. It's now kind of wired into his brain. It's like a problem-solver. Yeah, it's a problem-solver

00:08:23.780 So this was the problem and this is how I'm gonna solve the problem by not letting anyone else in 1.00

00:08:27.740 So I can get the youngest hottest women by treating them like shit 1.00

00:08:32.600 Because that's what they want or that's at least what they're alluding to what they want 0.99

00:08:36.240 Yeah, I think the only extra exception to that about talking about exes is when a man has been divorced

00:08:41.300 I think that they do that that really plays on their mind and that that's very difficult for them to move past

00:08:49.000 What is one thing that you did wrong that contributed to your last relationship or a relationship ending and you cannot say

00:08:58.640 I just overlooked a red flag. I can take this one, okay

00:09:02.720 I was a coward in my last relationship. I will own that hundred percent

00:09:07.700 I was a coward and I was scared and I wasn't honest and I was

00:09:14.360 I lied and and

00:09:17.020 I think if I hadn't have been so cowardly in the last year of our relationship

00:09:22.840 We would have parted it wouldn't we wouldn't have had the war that we had if I was braver

00:09:27.900 Mm-hmm and I weren't so scared of the repercussions

00:09:31.040 Yeah, okay. I'll own that. I know that this is gonna make me sound really bad, but there it goes

00:09:37.460 That one I'm not entirely sure if this was the real reason or it was an excuse for him

00:09:42.240 But what ended up happening was long and short of it at the start of the relationship

00:09:47.780 He cheated on me and then he came back asking me to marry him and then I actually said yes

00:09:53.300 And then I went back and said actually no

00:09:55.340 Mm-hmm I don't feel like marriage is where we're at right now

00:09:58.180 And it was it actually did become a bit of an on-and-off relationship actually I said I haven't done enough

00:10:02.600 But in hindsight it was more on and off as in

00:10:06.020 Break up for a few days and back together, you know a lot like a long period and the last time that he came back

00:10:11.660 He said to me

00:10:13.660 Right, you know, let's get back on together and I said actually someone previously that I dated had got back in touch with me

00:10:19.960 And we had arranged to meet up for a drink and I honestly said actually I'm not ready to get back for you yet

00:10:25.920 I've got a date in the diary with this ex

00:10:28.900 That I just actually want to see whether or not I still feel anything towards this person and that was kind of a

00:10:35.300 Big smash to his ego and he for him. That was the final straw

00:10:39.880 Okay, so you saw an ex while you guys were dating

00:10:43.660 No, once we'd broken up, and I thought it was the end. I somebody from my past had reached out to me

00:10:49.380 So so I don't know what was the what were you what's your accountability for the demise of your last relationship?

00:10:56.740 Maybe because he wanted to feel like I was the one and only man ever for him and that I wasn't looking at another option

00:11:01.780 No, but you're talking about him. What was your accountability?

00:11:04.980 What do you think you did sorry, Pearl?

00:11:07.420 Well, by showing that I still wanted to explore other options I guess

00:11:14.020 Okay, I don't know if I was wrong for that. Maybe not. I'm confused because I thought that was after you guys broke up

00:11:19.980 Or you were together. So it was on he kept breaking up with me and then getting back together like a week later

00:11:24.660 Okay, so in between that so the time that yet she came back and said okay, let's get back together

00:11:29.180 I said well in the interim period once you when you broke up with me

00:11:34.020 My ex got in touch and I'm arranging to meet up with him

00:11:37.140 So before that like what do you think contributed to him like breaking up with you?

00:11:41.460 Oh

00:11:42.460 Insecurity because I called off the engagement okay, and he felt that I didn't forgive him for the cheating I guess

00:11:47.500 Okay, not being able to let things go. Yeah. Okay. Go ahead

00:11:52.100 Okay

00:11:53.300 What was the question again? What is something that contributed to your last relationship ending?

00:11:59.460 Um that that you did that I did yeah, and you can't say I ignored red flags

00:12:05.700 Oh, no, that's always go to I think

00:12:08.540 What happened was that's what we all know. I was very young my I've only had two boyfriends

00:12:13.960 so it's this one I've got now and

00:12:16.740 the one before I

00:12:18.820 Think because I have like a real passion for something as well, and I studied it when I was in secondary school

00:12:24.200 Oh, obviously I had to go home because it was long distance of FaceTime him and it was quite a lot

00:12:32.340 Especially when you have to wake up at like six in the morning every single morning and then train

00:12:37.260 until six two and I think I honestly I

00:12:43.400 Think it was quite natural. I think it was just like I can't do this anymore

00:12:48.160 I'm also a bit young for you and I don't know what I want

00:12:52.600 um also

00:12:54.600 I if anything I just kind of wanted to focus on what I was doing

00:12:59.160 Because so you just weren't that invested in the relationship. Yeah, I think in the end at the start

00:13:03.800 I've really was and then I just thought also am I

00:13:08.540 Like just in this to just be in this because I did have such a deep feeling for him, but

00:13:16.800 Then again, I was so young to even

00:13:19.460 know what it was really I don't know whether it was just I

00:13:24.220 Loved someone loving me or I don't know

00:13:27.780 Yeah, you're only 21 or 22. Yeah, 21 everyone's like she's only a two boyfriends. Oh my gosh, she's 21 0.89

00:13:33.060 Yeah

00:13:35.060 Um go ahead

00:13:37.060 Oh me yeah, okay, um

00:13:39.620 What I can say is in my last relationship. I think that

00:13:44.900 During the um the time of my relationship. I was obviously young

00:13:48.860 So I used to be like a bit of a doormat in a way. I used to kind of let this guy get away with whatever he wanted to and

00:13:56.140 Just kind of accept things and like overlook a lot of things

00:13:59.980 So when it came towards the end, it was because I've now made this thing in the relationship where it's okay to do what you're doing

00:14:06.620 So now when I've actually tried to come and talk back and like try actually stand up for myself

00:14:11.100 Because towards the end I felt like I matured a bit and I knew what I kind of wanted

00:14:14.520 And when he was doing certain things I'll tell him and then that's when things started to kind of backfire

00:14:18.840 And when I started to see the real toxic side of this man

00:14:21.640 It's only because I had allowed him to kind of walk on me in the first place and not really value myself that much

00:14:28.440 In order to tell him no like towards the end when I actually did decide to tell him stuff like no

00:14:33.800 He wouldn't have it. So your accountability is you let him be toxic. No. Well, yes

00:14:38.520 I know that it was more than me though

00:14:40.440 Like it was me not really standing up for myself. Were you being toxic too? No

00:14:44.520 So you weren't being toxic. I promise you. But he was being toxic very much and that's your accountability

00:14:49.800 No, my accountability is the fact that

00:14:55.320 You let things go, you let things go too easy. Yeah, like I let things go too easy. I didn't fight for nothing

00:14:59.720 I was just being a doormat. I used to let this guy just walk all over me like it's nothing and I wasn't really standing up for myself

00:15:05.480 If that makes sense. So so your your your accountability is you let him be toxic. Well, yeah

00:15:11.560 I say that. Yeah, because maybe if you didn't. Say it with your chest. All right

00:15:15.240 Yeah, no, because every time you say something and you repeat what I'm saying, I'm thinking it. Hmm. Oh, yeah

00:15:20.920 I'm just repeating what you said cool and less words. Okay, go ahead

00:15:24.760 I feel like and okay the way that I've been the most toxic I guess is by

00:15:35.240 Making decisions that I know how it's gonna go and I know it's gonna go badly for both of us

00:15:40.360 and

00:15:42.040 Still doing those things for whatever reason

00:15:45.400 It's like I could easily choose not to but I'm just like

00:15:49.400 Maybe I want to see if I still have a hold over this guy or what I can still do kind of thing

00:15:55.560 so I'll choose to make that bad decision and

00:15:58.460 Be like and then I'm halfway through the decision. I'll be like I already knew that

00:16:03.480 It was gonna play out this way. So why did I do it kind of thing?

00:16:06.360 I'm sorry. This is so broad. I'm just trying to understand

00:16:11.160 You're very philosophical, aren't you?

00:16:14.040 So for example, for example, um, we may have had an argument and

00:16:19.480 Um, we're not talking for a few days and I'll be like

00:16:23.560 I know that, you know, maybe we should break off the relationship

00:16:27.160 But I just want to see if I still have this hold over this guy

00:16:29.720 So I want to call him and be like, oh, um, let's go out and do something and then

00:16:34.840 See if he's going to react in a way where it's like, yes

00:16:38.600 And if you don't react in a way, that's yes, and I'm gonna be like, why?

00:16:41.720 Because then I want to feel like I don't have that hold over you and that's really toxic because I know

00:16:46.440 It's really freaking toxic because I know that, um

00:16:49.320 So you're waiting to break up with him until you felt like you've had him

00:16:52.920 No, no, no, no, no, because it's not a thing where I didn't have him. Um, I would always like we we have a connection

00:16:59.560 Like we've got that hold over each other, but I feel like maybe I was being insecure or something

00:17:05.000 I don't know but

00:17:06.440 When we had an argument or something like that and I would I was thinking to myself, you know what?

00:17:10.680 Maybe we should break up. Maybe um, this relationship isn't right for us. I'd be like

00:17:16.040 We've had an argument

00:17:17.720 I don't know how he now feels maybe he wants to call it quits as well

00:17:20.840 And I don't I've never had someone break up with me

00:17:24.120 So I'm always the one that makes me sound like such a cat, but I've always been the one doing the breaking up

00:17:29.320 So if I feel like oh, you know what we've had this argument and now you might want to break up with me

00:17:34.280 I need to make sure that's not the case by

00:17:37.640 Contacting you and seeing what's up and then if you don't want to break up with me, that's cool

00:17:41.960 I still know that you know, it's all good and if I wanted to break up with you, I could

00:17:46.440 I feel like what you're saying is you like playing the game. Yeah, you was being hella toxic

00:17:50.440 Yeah, I used to I used to be a very toxic very very toxic person

00:17:54.360 I feel like that's why now I can sit back and be like

00:17:57.960 There's a way to go about and not because I don't know it's just no more

00:18:00.520 Do you feel like men are aware of how toxic women can be? 0.99

00:18:04.200 No, yes, and they know they know they know

00:18:07.800 Oh, maybe they do

00:18:09.080 No, I'm telling you they know

00:18:10.200 But it's like you don't have to yeah

00:18:13.160 Yeah, but I I say these things and I just maybe I I don't know but I I don't know like every single man

00:18:19.080 This is why you know, you know your female friends, right? 0.90

00:18:21.800 And you know how they interact with their boyfriends and I'm sure you I'm sure you know one or two that's toxic, right?

00:18:27.320 Do you think their boyfriend's aware? I don't think my closest of friends any of them are toxic

00:18:32.120 Because I think their aim is to not be but I'm sure do you know a toxic girl anywhere? 0.99

00:18:37.320 Yeah, okay, so do you think their boyfriends know?

00:18:40.120 If they're toxic or not yeah

00:18:47.080 Yeah, I think maybe they just they just ignore it put up it depends how toxic you want to be

00:18:53.400 Because maybe he I don't know if she could be toxic on one specific thing

00:18:59.000 I can't think of one at the top of my head, but maybe that have you ever heard of a boy?

00:19:03.240 That's like um, I don't know he finds it attractive when a woman is like really gets hot-headed on something 0.98

00:19:10.440 Hot-headed, but you know what I mean? Yeah, like or I don't know

00:19:15.240 I feel you but I feel like this is why the game is called the game because everyone's always trying to one-up each other

00:19:19.880 But also, I don't understand how people have the energy for that

00:19:22.920 I know it's so draining because I've seen like one of my girls

00:19:25.800 I love her purity. Can we just say like she's like oh, I just I don't know

00:19:29.480 I love it. Honestly, yeah, there are so many other things you could be doing in that time run yourself a bath

00:19:37.240 Don't go on snapchat and then like

00:19:40.200 Half swipe it and don't reply to me now people have the energy to put up quotes to do all of this

00:19:45.640 That's so childish

00:19:46.360 Yeah, but you know the thing where people like message each other pretend not to see it for hours. Just open it

00:19:52.840 I do that yeah, but it's not even me being toxic. It's just me not being asked

00:19:56.600 People are like yeah, but I'm not gonna open it yet

00:19:59.080 Have you guys ever told a guy that a girl was being toxic?

00:20:02.520 Have you ever had to tell a guy that like a guy friend brother? Yep. Yep. Hell yeah. What happened? Oh

00:20:08.600 To be honest, I feel like

00:20:11.160 When I think about it guys kind of get sucked in like we do because he didn't leave her straight away

00:20:15.880 He knew that she was being toxic. He was like I know they like saying this. I know I know I know

00:20:19.640 But it's like he didn't leave her for a minute

00:20:21.480 I can't lie until he went to jail and then he realized like all right let's go

00:20:25.320 So she she was the toxic one, but he went to jail

00:20:29.720 Listen good people go to jail. I'm gonna tell you this for free

00:20:33.080 You can be good-hearted and you can be doing some stuff. That's obviously not the best

00:20:36.600 Yeah, but you still are doing something illegal

00:20:39.000 Okay, cool, but good-hearted people can do illegal stuff at one time slavery was legal remember that

00:20:44.440 We're gonna compare that to jail

00:20:46.440 Yeah

00:20:48.200 I'm just telling you like cool. You can't judge people all the time based off the life choices that they've made or

00:20:53.640 Based off what life has brought to them

00:20:55.480 I do I do judge people based on the choices they make

00:20:57.480 I judge people based on their personality and and the traits that they have

00:21:00.520 I think it depends on the scenario

00:21:02.520 If someone went to jail for armed robbery, I shouldn't judge them

00:21:05.800 It's not- I shouldn't judge them a little bit

00:21:08.360 Okay, but are you gonna are you gonna judge people for trying to make a living for themselves in a world that's not giving them an opportunity?

00:21:14.200 I have no sympathy if you're born in the west. I'm sorry 1.00

00:21:17.560 I know people that really had no opportunity that are born in third-world countries

00:21:21.640 That that literally had zero opportunity. So if you're born in the west, I have no sympathy 0.99

00:21:26.760 Fair enough. I think people should be responsible for their their actions for sure and be aware of the repercussions that are going to happen

00:21:33.160 But to bring it back to the question about toxic women 1.00

00:21:36.760 um, yeah for sure my brother dated a girl and um

00:21:40.600 she was very um

00:21:42.920 She was very demanding. She was very problematic 1.00

00:21:46.200 She would do things to get a reaction out of him 0.89

00:21:49.320 Like I don't know they might have like a small disagreement over like the smallest thing

00:21:53.800 And later on in the day she's posting the subliminals and she's going out and she's you know 0.95

00:21:58.600 Just all of this triggering shit that she knew excuse me that she knew would get a reaction from him 0.94

00:22:04.040 But it wasn't a positive reaction and you know in some cases 0.98

00:22:06.760 People act out and it's like any reaction is better than no reaction in some cases

00:22:11.080 So I think people just will either act out

00:22:14.920 But actually maturity and that non-toxic stuff is acting in a positive way

00:22:19.240 Like she could have got he's a she could have resolved

00:22:22.040 Some issues a lot easier, but she chose to be problematic 1.00

00:22:25.160 But there's ways to burn people without burning yourself because I know why are we burning people?

00:22:29.160 Why don't we just leave them where they're at?

00:22:30.440 No, but that what I'm trying to say is like cool for example one of my girls 0.84

00:22:34.360 I know we used to maybe like go out or something

00:22:36.600 She'll purposely make sure she's doing something that the guy that she's involved with is gonna see 1.00

00:22:41.480 So that he'll get mad and then when he gets mad now they're both arguing and it's just

00:22:46.200 If you want to like if you want him to burn just leave him you get me just leave him alone

00:22:50.120 And that's why I think like at the end of the day if I want someone to burn

00:22:53.640 If I want someone to just not feel my presence no more, they're not gonna feel it

00:22:57.000 They're gonna be there on my subscribe and they're gonna be watching my story burning

00:23:00.920 But I've got no involvement you can't message me you unsubscribe you get it

00:23:04.520 But the thing is why just not block or just unfollow?

00:23:07.320 Oh no because honey, I like to I like them to see what I'm doing

00:23:10.840 But if you don't want them anymore, why not?

00:23:12.680 Why?

00:23:13.080 No, because it's like now you know what you lost

00:23:15.160 There you go

00:23:15.880 Why do you care if they know what they lost?

00:23:18.840 I don't care if you're done. That's why I deleted them

00:23:21.560 No, but you're just talking about it. You just said I want them

00:23:25.160 Yeah, you just said you just wanted them to see it

00:23:27.160 Okay, I can't repeat what you said. So it's like cool. It's like cool. You know when people say like cool

00:23:31.640 The people that hate you in life like you want them to basically see you go far, right?

00:23:36.840 I don't know. That's if you care

00:23:38.840 I just don't. I don't care if they see me go far or they see me go nowhere

00:23:43.640 I don't want to see them at all

00:23:44.680 It's not a thing where you care or not, but it's like a thing where like at the end of the day

00:23:48.280 If you're gonna see me doing anything, it's gonna be something without you

00:23:51.000 Like you might not care or not. It's everyone's each opinion

00:23:53.720 But my opinion is I can't lie when people because I know I've got people who don't like me

00:23:58.280 I've got people who hate me and you can hate me from over there

00:24:01.160 I'm not gonna acknowledge you, but I know in the back of my head like you can hate me

00:24:04.760 But you're gonna see what I'm doing good and you're gonna see that I'm doing okay

00:24:08.280 Like without you like that's your business

00:24:10.200 Don't mean I'm gonna come message you and show you like I'm doing this I'm doing that 0.97

00:24:13.000 But when you see me here, you're gonna be burning in you

00:24:15.400 And that's better than me going back and forth with someone and me having an altercation with someone

00:24:19.960 I'd rather them just see me doing good and that's there you get it

00:24:24.360 There we go

00:24:26.360 I feel like you kind of changed what you said

00:24:27.960 No, but that's what I meant you get it

00:24:30.200 Okay, so I shouldn't believe what you say

00:24:32.440 I think that no because sometimes when I'm saying things

00:24:36.200 You don't know what you're saying

00:24:37.720 No, I do know what I'm saying

00:24:39.720 I know what I'm saying, but it's like

00:24:42.120 I was just explaining what I kind of meant behind what I said

00:24:44.280 Because sometimes when you say things bluntly like

00:24:46.520 You don't always understand it, but I'll just explain it

00:24:48.840 Okay

00:24:49.320 There we go

00:24:50.760 I think you were gonna say something or no?

00:24:52.200 No, no, I think you were ready to

00:24:53.800 You were gonna say something?

00:24:54.760 You were started saying something

00:24:56.200 I was just gonna say thank you

00:24:57.480 I was just gonna say I feel like um a lot of toxic behaviors come from ego and all these kind of things and

00:25:03.640 When you're with someone who is exhibiting these kind of behaviors

00:25:07.240 You can kind of see that ego seeping out in other areas of life

00:25:10.680 So I feel like unless you're really blinded by your emotions

00:25:13.720 You're gonna be able to see that oh, you know what?

00:25:15.720 Maybe my partner is being a bit toxic or whatever

00:25:18.120 But because um

00:25:20.200 You for whatever reason you want to stay in that kind of situation or you might find it hard to leave or whatever

00:25:25.880 Like you take your time to leave or you just don't

00:25:28.440 Yeah, I actually really don't like this word toxic

00:25:30.440 I feel like it gets thrown about the place too much

00:25:33.560 Uh, it gets um

00:25:35.480 It loses meaning

00:25:36.520 I just think it's just people understand it as so many different things and so what is toxic?

00:25:41.560 How do you summarize what's toxic to you might not be toxic to somebody else?

00:25:44.680 I just think it's a it's one of those words social media everyone's jumped on it now

00:25:48.040 Everything's toxic toxic masculinity toxic femininity toxic behaviors 1.00

00:25:52.840 Actually, why don't we just call it for what it is? 1.00

00:25:54.600 You're a shitty person. Yeah, you're you know, whatever you're arrogant or you haven't whatever your ego 1.00

00:26:00.440 Tistically motivated or whatever it is. I just I think we use it as like a filler word

00:26:05.880 Yeah, to summarize like loads of unnecessary things

00:26:08.360 Yeah, I think there's got to be context behind any particular behavioral trait that someone's displaying

00:26:13.560 You know, I think that a lot of people because they're that they will use the word

00:26:18.040 to almost not explore the actual context behind it and

00:26:21.480 But sometimes people just don't wanna that they don't want to spend their energy explaining why somebody's the way they are

00:26:26.040 But I just want to find a word to describe to you like this person is

00:26:29.880 I think people are very easily triggered

00:26:31.400 You know, even when you know friends come to relationship advice now, it's like oh, these are red flags

00:26:35.960 This is toxic and it's like

00:26:37.080 Women think everything is a red flag 1.00

00:26:39.080 Everything

00:26:39.880 Everything

00:26:40.680 Not everything is a red flag

00:26:41.400 Especially you see with ick culture, yeah 1.00

00:26:43.320 I can't know, ick culture makes me laugh 1.00

00:26:44.920 I saw what Nella Rose said

00:26:46.520 I get an ick when he walks to the car

00:26:49.720 Do you know what's so funny though?

00:26:50.760 What's that about women's red flags? 1.00

00:26:52.680 Like what are red flags in women? 1.00

00:26:54.360 I think when you've got like say if you've got a boyfriend

00:26:57.960 And then you've got like multiple boys on snapchat

00:27:01.640 Like and you're talking to them

00:27:03.560 Yeah, I don't

00:27:04.600 Especially if you say they're convenient

00:27:06.040 Yeah, I always think as well if you don't want him doing it, why are you doing it?

00:27:09.880 Exactly

00:27:10.680 If you don't want her doing it, why are you doing it?

00:27:12.680 I agree

00:27:13.160 Yeah, to some degree

00:27:14.200 I think of a red flag and a woman is a woman who has a girl woman whatever who has loads of male friends 1.00

00:27:20.440 But she doesn't have any female friends 0.96

00:27:21.880 Yeah, yeah, because that shows me that she will be comfortable in in that sort of

00:27:26.600 Okay, great. She's she's great. She connects with the guys whatever 0.96

00:27:28.840 But why are women not taking to her? 1.00

00:27:30.360 I'm not saying that she must have multiple, you know, the whole handful of friends

00:27:33.880 Why do you have not any at all?

00:27:35.800 Do you think it's a red flag if a woman is slept with a lot of men? 1.00

00:27:38.440 Yes, a little bit because it's like a little bit a little bit because as many of you know

00:27:44.040 I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform

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JustPearlyThings - November 14, 2023

Modern Women Are Poor with Keeping Relationships

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