JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023


Modern Women Are too Negative


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

209.40875

Word count

2,288

Sentence count

208

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the importance of a good nanny for your kids and the modern woman s perspective on it. We also talk about the benefits of nannies and whether or not they should be employed.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Power doesn't have to define success.
00:00:01.920 I would say on the world stage, it absolutely does.
00:00:05.440 You can't accomplish anything without power.
00:00:08.860 I think they're accomplishing a beautiful little family life, to be honest.
00:00:12.580 Yeah, that's a very feminine perspective. 1.00
00:00:14.380 It's gorgeous, isn't it?
00:00:15.440 Look at them.
00:00:15.920 They look bloody happy.
00:00:17.580 They can be happy.
00:00:19.260 Isn't that beautiful?
00:00:20.140 Isn't that success?
00:00:20.540 I know, but it's not successful when you talk about the world stage.
00:00:25.760 I mean, now you're just kind of moving the goalpost.
00:00:27.700 Now you're saying it's about happiness.
00:00:29.100 Yeah, but I do think everything inevitably is about happiness.
00:00:33.100 And for me, getting money isn't happy.
00:00:34.720 But that's the modern mindset.
00:00:36.420 That's the modern woman. 1.00
00:00:37.700 Because it's about happiness, not the family.
00:00:40.120 Oh, no, this is entirely about family.
00:00:42.100 You just said it's about happiness.
00:00:43.600 You think everything's about happiness.
00:00:45.220 But that's entirely about happiness and family.
00:00:48.020 I'm saying what you said is the modern mindset.
00:00:50.700 That is what I'm saying.
00:00:52.000 What do you mean?
00:00:53.020 Because you said everything is about...
00:00:54.460 You know what I said.
00:00:55.720 No, you're not going to say I forgot.
00:00:56.820 You said everything is about happiness.
00:00:59.820 Yes.
00:01:00.540 And that is a modern mindset because it's about happiness and not the family, not legacy, not your country.
00:01:06.340 Can those two things not exist together?
00:01:08.020 No.
00:01:08.820 Why not?
00:01:10.160 Because you don't get everything in life.
00:01:12.620 I think that you can have a family and be happy.
00:01:15.080 Yeah, you can.
00:01:15.920 I think that you can also be happy and have a family.
00:01:18.800 Yeah.
00:01:19.200 But the whole point is that there are times when you're not going to be happy, but you choose the family first.
00:01:23.620 And that's the whole point.
00:01:24.940 Yeah, for sure.
00:01:25.440 Is that it's family before my happiness.
00:01:26.740 It's not to say you can't be happy and have a family.
00:01:29.360 Yeah.
00:01:29.560 But the whole point is the modern mindset is that it's always about happiness.
00:01:33.120 I think what's beautiful is when you put your family first and therefore, you know, like put your own happiness down.
00:01:40.060 Yeah.
00:01:40.600 That's also a happiness in itself because you're getting to be altruistic, which is happy, right?
00:01:46.700 I think we agree.
00:01:48.840 No, we don't.
00:01:50.560 I think we agree.
00:01:51.760 I think you're kind of switching it a little bit.
00:01:55.680 I do.
00:01:56.580 I do.
00:01:57.160 So what do you guys think it's selfish for a woman to have a nanny? 0.94
00:02:04.700 I think it's the same thing we were just talking about, really.
00:02:07.400 Someone else raising your child at the end of the day.
00:02:10.060 But it just depends on the circumstances.
00:02:12.660 I feel like, you know, everyone's going to have different perspective of this particular topic.
00:02:17.660 But it's whatever works for you.
00:02:18.920 Personally, for me, if I had to choose between not choosing someone to raise my child, I'd do that anyways.
00:02:25.460 Even if it means I don't get my lashes on, nails done.
00:02:28.400 But I'd rather that because that's ultimately, that's just the most important thing.
00:02:32.800 Especially when you chose to have a child.
00:02:35.800 Do you see what I mean?
00:02:36.520 Like when you choose to have a child, that's 100% your responsibility.
00:02:40.560 You die by that.
00:02:42.720 But I see women these days letting their boyfriends kill their children. 1.00
00:02:46.800 It's just weird to me.
00:02:47.860 And when you have a child, you kill for them, you know.
00:02:50.520 But a lot of people don't really have that maternal.
00:02:53.020 Would you guys be comfortable having a nanny for your kids then?
00:02:57.340 No.
00:02:58.840 No.
00:02:59.420 And it is selfish because what in a child's life, that's the most important thing going on in their life.
00:03:06.620 If you're like one or two years old, that's the most important time for them.
00:03:11.140 That's going to shape the rest of their life.
00:03:12.780 And for a woman to say, I'm going to go and do something else other than like cut the crust off their sandwich or take them to the park. 1.00
00:03:20.540 What could be more important than this?
00:03:24.320 Women defer this to go to work, to make spreadsheets, to go and work on an assembly line or whatever. 1.00
00:03:31.780 Make their boss a schedule, their male boss a schedule or make, you know, PowerPoint, things like that. 0.85
00:03:37.280 But nothing could be as important as what they're contributing to their child's life.
00:03:42.360 So, yeah, I think that it's basically, it's mutually exclusive.
00:03:46.020 And I wouldn't send my kids to daycare.
00:03:48.040 I would want to pick the woman to be my wife, to be the mother of my kids, to raise them, specifically to teach them to be virtuous. 1.00
00:03:55.800 That's the most important thing.
00:03:57.160 So, no, I wouldn't do any daycare and no working women either. 0.99
00:04:01.520 But just make sure you're able to provide as well as a man and do your part.
00:04:04.880 Because we can't just all sit here.
00:04:06.640 I'm not flipping sides, but we can't all sit here and say women should do this traditionally.
00:04:12.480 But then the men can't.
00:04:13.820 I would never.
00:04:14.800 You know how we're talking about women need to be submissive, stay at home and do this and do that for men. 1.00
00:04:19.040 I will gladly do that.
00:04:20.740 Yeah, for the right guy.
00:04:21.740 For the man that also knows his part, don't tell me traditionally as a woman, you should be like this. 0.99
00:04:27.760 When you don't even know what is required of you as a traditional man, there's no way about that.
00:04:34.380 And to value that woman as well.
00:04:36.160 100%, yeah.
00:04:37.100 It's one thing to say, oh, I've got my wife and my mom, whoever at home, but I'm just going to go and do my thing and treat her like shit. 0.98
00:04:42.200 Like, that's an absolute no for me.
00:04:43.940 Yeah, we're not saying that, though.
00:04:45.220 Oh, but that's also like, really, what that lifestyle does look like.
00:04:48.800 This is where women's like mind always goes, oh, it's the worst. 1.00
00:04:51.740 It's not the worst thing that could possibly happen.
00:04:53.440 It's not the worst.
00:04:54.360 But if I submit, he's going to treat me like shit.
00:04:57.740 Not at all.
00:04:58.540 Not at all.
00:04:59.100 I'd love to be submissive to.
00:04:59.940 But I'm saying that's the first thing that you guys say.
00:05:02.520 It's not the first thing.
00:05:03.040 It's not the first thing.
00:05:03.680 The second.
00:05:03.900 But it's the general.
00:05:04.480 When you say they, do you not, do you not.
00:05:07.000 It's the general thing.
00:05:08.180 Like, please name these.
00:05:09.640 That sounds oddly patronizing.
00:05:11.860 Please, like, show, like, commonly, all the time, a relationship where a man is absolutely honoring his woman.
00:05:19.360 And he's out at work and he comes home to a woman that does absolutely nothing other than provide for their child. 0.99
00:05:24.060 I don't, I, maybe that is also my view on the world and why I've lacked attracting that to me.
00:05:32.160 I don't see that.
00:05:33.020 I've never seen that.
00:05:33.940 You've never seen what?
00:05:34.900 A happy marriage where it is literally just the examples that we're saying.
00:05:39.640 That's where I was raised.
00:05:41.240 My mom quit her job to raise me when I was a kid.
00:05:45.100 To a financially stable man.
00:05:46.860 I feel like that, you're right about that.
00:05:49.600 And again, maybe it is down to, like, geography or where we're raised and who, like, because my family couldn't do that.
00:05:57.280 My dad was a working, laboring man.
00:05:59.680 He couldn't just say, oh, you know, you don't provide a tool.
00:06:02.860 Like, my mom had to go out and work. 0.88
00:06:04.460 Yeah.
00:06:04.740 And they, you know, don't get me wrong.
00:06:06.520 I'm still feeling the, and we have conversations about this all the time.
00:06:10.880 My mom chose to go out and work.
00:06:12.420 There's parts of me that did feel abandoned at times.
00:06:15.060 But was I raised in a happy family?
00:06:16.620 Absolutely.
00:06:17.100 Was I raised with love?
00:06:17.960 Absolutely.
00:06:18.740 But I think the problem is a lot of women weren't raised to get traditional outcomes because we don't have traditional skills. 0.99
00:06:24.720 We also didn't have the modern world or traditional skills.
00:06:27.240 No, I'm saying there are traditional men that are willing to protect and provide and will take care of all the bills.
00:06:33.660 I'm here for it.
00:06:34.000 But wait, but they're looking, like, as I think they would all be willing to pay the bills, right?
00:06:40.820 He wants a virgin. 0.99
00:06:41.660 How many girls are virgins? 1.00
00:06:43.180 I don't think they're the majority, though.
00:06:43.700 So you can qualify.
00:06:45.040 What?
00:06:45.480 I don't think they're the majority.
00:06:47.300 Like, I don't think the majority of men are traditional men.
00:06:49.680 If you look at it like the actual populace, right, we're not going to have that many men that didn't also come from a broken home because a lot of marriages ended in divorce, right?
00:07:00.420 So as much as women are also being raised in a certain type of way, so were the guys.
00:07:04.960 So we're just we're just kind of fucking struggling along, man.
00:07:07.500 It's already difficult enough.
00:07:09.020 I agree that not all men were raised to be traditional men, too.
00:07:13.760 But I'm saying if we are going to demand traditional outcomes, you should have the skills to have a traditional outcome.
00:07:20.400 Can I just ask a quick question?
00:07:22.160 Can I ask a quick question?
00:07:23.680 Can I ask if any of us want just solely traditional men and for us to have the outcome of just being a mum and a wife?
00:07:31.360 Why do you say just a mum?
00:07:32.380 I don't.
00:07:32.860 I don't.
00:07:33.440 I honestly do not mind.
00:07:35.700 I'm just asking.
00:07:36.700 I'll be honest with you.
00:07:37.820 I'll say whatever I need to say.
00:07:39.100 I would prefer that if my man obviously can provide for us.
00:07:42.300 Why would I need to?
00:07:43.520 I'd love to be a stay-at-home mum.
00:07:45.560 I want someone that I can connect with.
00:07:47.440 I don't want somebody to just throw money at me.
00:07:49.360 Because of the current situation that we're in.
00:07:51.920 Obviously, living in a Western world as well.
00:07:54.300 Me being an African woman, living in a Western world, of course, I'm not being a traditional woman.
00:07:58.840 But I'd love to be because my son's dad, he's an African man, too.
00:08:02.560 And I'm happy I chose an African man because he knows his traditional ways.
00:08:07.020 He's responsible for me and my son.
00:08:09.280 So that's what would make me be naturally more submissive.
00:08:12.420 So I think this problem is more Westernised.
00:08:15.100 And it's just, I've just been dumped in the Western world where I'm in the middle.
00:08:19.280 So I can actually choose.
00:08:20.660 When you guys are talking, I'm seeing it from my point of view and you guys' point of view, too.
00:08:25.380 So that's why, even when I'm talking, it might look like I'm swinging here.
00:08:28.740 I'm just trying to make sense of it.
00:08:30.220 Put myself in and outside the box at the same time.
00:08:33.020 But yeah, 100%.
00:08:34.340 I don't.
00:08:34.960 I want to be a.
00:08:35.740 Sterling, what were you going to say?
00:08:37.660 I forgot what I was going to say for that one.
00:08:38.860 To answer your original question, like would I let a nanny, would I want a nanny to help 0.81
00:08:43.120 out my, you know, my baby mama or whatever with the kids?
00:08:46.460 It takes a village to raise a child.
00:08:48.840 And I think if we look back on like our parents' generation, it wasn't just our mothers raising
00:08:54.100 us.
00:08:54.320 It was a mother with help from her sister or help from her mother or like your aunties and
00:08:59.040 all this stuff.
00:08:59.540 But like, if so, the babysitter should be like the nanny should be a family and part of the
00:09:04.860 extended family.
00:09:05.740 Yeah.
00:09:06.120 So in that context, it's totally fine to have a nanny because you've got your family to help
00:09:09.360 you out.
00:09:09.660 But right now we're so disconnected from family now in the Western world, especially that
00:09:15.240 we don't have that support network anymore.
00:09:16.840 And that's where the problem comes from.
00:09:18.260 Yeah.
00:09:18.360 But I really feel like we're failing to understand that in modern day society, not every woman
00:09:22.400 has, I'm sure majority of women would prefer if they have children to be at home and raise 1.00
00:09:27.360 their kids.
00:09:28.060 I don't think we all have that automatic privilege.
00:09:31.840 We don't have the options.
00:09:33.120 Why do you think that?
00:09:33.820 Why wouldn't they have that option?
00:09:35.000 Because the finances.
00:09:36.280 Okay, cool.
00:09:36.940 I agree.
00:09:37.660 Yeah.
00:09:37.980 But why do you, but why do you, I'm going to go back to the point.
00:09:41.120 Why do you think that the cost of living has gone up?
00:09:44.320 I don't know you're going to tell me.
00:09:45.360 I will tell you, here's one possible reason why the cost of living has gone up.
00:09:50.400 Women coming into the workforce, driving up wages. 1.00
00:09:52.640 Is that a problem?
00:09:53.720 It's the cause of the problem that you're mentioning.
00:09:56.880 I'm just telling you that's one of the causes of it.
00:09:59.040 Right.
00:09:59.320 And so would the ideal situation.
00:10:00.480 So if you want to, if you want to, if you want to undo that, then women, women, women 1.00
00:10:04.120 going back into the home would cause the correction in the cost of living. 0.96
00:10:08.720 Then it leaves a large proportion of the workforce.
00:10:11.620 And also women in STEM. 0.94
00:10:12.740 Yeah, exactly.
00:10:13.080 We've got women in STEM. 1.00
00:10:13.920 I personally, I have a genetics master's degree and I'm going to go and do a PhD in
00:10:20.460 the next couple of years.
00:10:21.800 So my, like, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just providing you with a solution to the problem
00:10:24.680 that you're mentioning.
00:10:25.320 The solution is that doesn't make any sense that I don't think that, why would you now
00:10:28.780 remove individuals that are contributing to society to further ahead?
00:10:32.800 Because I, because I, because I really contribute.
00:10:34.640 Can we just, as many of you know, I was just banned on Tik Tok and we are demonetized on
00:10:44.500 a daily basis on this platform.
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