JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023


Modern Women BLAMED Each Other For TOXIC Relationships


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

217.60675

Word Count

8,490

Sentence Count

19

Misogynist Sentences

36

Hate Speech Sentences

37


Summary

In this episode we discuss toxic relationships and how to deal with them. We talk about our own experiences with toxic exes and how they have affected us and how we have dealt with them in the past and present. We also discuss how toxic relationships affect our mental health and how it can affect our relationships.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Levels of toxicness and again, it's what you perceive the word toxic to mean
00:00:04.760 So I do think that toxic
00:00:08.160 Relationships and like just with anyone like friends, your partners and stuff
00:00:12.760 It's like really like promoted on social media. It is it is like the toxic relationship
00:00:18.840 Like toxic love like everyone and and what's his name blue face?
00:00:23.820 Yeah, yeah, that's why I don't understand why they get so much attention for that and it's like so unhealthy
00:00:30.060 They're probably both so depressed and unhappy. I feel like to be toxic you have to have a very strong head
00:00:36.060 Yeah, like for them to be toxic. They know what they're doing. It's like they don't it's not like they don't know what they're doing
00:00:41.580 It's like it's like it's calculated. They're doing it on purpose. From what I've seen
00:00:46.440 That's what it looks like. Yeah, I mean to be honest
00:00:48.880 I feel like with toxic relationships you get that adrenaline rush from like when things are good
00:00:53.800 And then when it goes like really bad you just think about the good times, which is why you stay with that
00:00:58.360 You're making excuses for yourself to stay and obviously it's so up and down like once it goes down
00:01:04.660 You're like, oh my god
00:01:05.440 I can't wait for it to like go back up again and everything to be good because you guys go through like really good
00:01:09.760 You cling on to that little bit of hope almost yeah good part or sometimes you're just used to it
00:01:15.360 This is your comfort zone now. Yeah
00:01:18.440 The cons will eventually
00:01:20.440 Outweigh the pose. I mean that's when you know how do you get used to it?
00:01:25.000 No, but some people are growing up in even like a toxic household like with toxic families
00:01:29.720 Like also like how someone's been raised has a big impact on like the type of men they go for women also like drama
00:01:36.440 Yeah, they do they do they love it
00:01:38.440 I mean, why don't women watch sports? That's camaraderie. We like the Kardashians
00:01:42.200 That's true. Oh my god. I love the Kardashians so much
00:01:46.760 Red flag, red flag
00:01:49.160 Don't do that. Kardashians live the life
00:01:53.800 Watch me in a year's time. I'm going to be sitting with Kim Kardashian
00:01:58.040 She's going to be, me and her are going to be
00:02:00.600 Manifestation
00:02:01.640 Opposite, me and her are going to be opposite each other working on you know Skims X
00:02:06.120 I've got a Covid line dropping soon as well
00:02:08.520 Join with my music so mad madness
00:02:11.400 Told you
00:02:12.200 I'm such an EastEnders fan so I can't even believe
00:02:14.040 You know what I like
00:02:16.360 EastEnders Christmas specials
00:02:17.800 Yeah, they're drama
00:02:18.600 EastEnders everyday drama
00:02:20.680 I used to do that
00:02:22.200 I used to watch EastEnders every single day
00:02:24.120 But then the storylines is just too dark for me
00:02:26.920 Like it's so negative
00:02:28.280 That to a point, you might be able to handle it
00:02:30.520 But like it got to a point where I could not
00:02:32.680 I could not anymore
00:02:33.640 But that is toxic
00:02:35.160 Actually question
00:02:36.840 What is toxics and where does it come from?
00:02:40.920 I think something that's not good for you
00:02:42.440 But you want it, you go for it anyway
00:02:44.200 But something that's genuinely like bad for your
00:02:46.920 Your mental health
00:02:47.960 And I think it's
00:02:49.080 And you do it anyway
00:02:49.880 And it's a long duration as well
00:02:51.480 But where does it stem from though?
00:02:53.880 Where does it stem from?
00:02:54.760 I think well toxic relationships stem from lack of boundaries
00:02:57.320 I'm talking about toxic
00:02:58.520 Not toxic relationships
00:02:59.640 There's two different
00:03:00.920 That's like toxic itself
00:03:02.280 What does it stem from?
00:03:02.920 Toxic
00:03:03.400 It's something harmful
00:03:04.760 Something dangerous
00:03:05.640 I mean people use that for food
00:03:10.200 It's like poison
00:03:11.000 Once you say
00:03:11.480 That's what it can lead to
00:03:13.480 It can like damage
00:03:14.680 And it's harmful to your mental health
00:03:16.120 And then it can
00:03:17.080 Jami leads to other things
00:03:19.240 Have you guys ever been labeled a toxic ex?
00:03:22.040 Like would your exes say that you're toxic?
00:03:24.040 Yes
00:03:24.600 Yes
00:03:25.240 Yeah
00:03:25.560 No I haven't
00:03:27.400 No
00:03:27.640 No
00:03:29.640 But I would say
00:03:31.240 I could be toxic if I choose to be toxic
00:03:34.040 Oh
00:03:34.440 Yeah
00:03:35.000 Boom
00:03:35.960 Yeah exactly that
00:03:37.240 That's the energy
00:03:37.880 Yeah
00:03:38.200 I agree with that
00:03:39.400 I agree with that
00:03:41.080 That's why I said
00:03:41.800 For you to be toxic
00:03:42.760 You have to have a strong head
00:03:44.120 And people know what they do when they be toxic
00:03:46.200 It's not like no
00:03:47.080 It's like a mind game
00:03:48.280 100% I agree
00:03:49.640 What do you think?
00:03:51.640 Have you ever been labeled a toxic ex?
00:03:53.400 Would your exes say you're toxic?
00:03:54.920 They would
00:03:55.800 They would say I'm toxic
00:03:56.840 No
00:03:57.160 Only because they're not as lit as me
00:03:58.760 That is why
00:03:59.480 I don't want to say I'm toxic
00:04:00.840 Because we're not going to talk about the whole liking and following that thing
00:04:05.800 Because I was in the past
00:04:07.240 That was 10 minutes ago
00:04:08.920 But yeah
00:04:09.640 I don't think I would be called toxic
00:04:11.320 How do you guys think past relationships shape future relationships?
00:04:19.080 You know the difference between lust and love
00:04:21.640 Oh my goodness
00:04:22.440 You know the difference
00:04:23.160 That is such a problem
00:04:23.800 I feel like if you're able to reflect
00:04:26.600 If you're able to reflect and not carry on the patterns that you had in your past relationship
00:04:31.720 100%
00:04:32.680 You need to be self-aware in that aspect
00:04:34.120 Yeah 100%
00:04:34.840 Like Erykah Badu said yeah
00:04:36.520 In that song Bag Lady
00:04:37.640 She's like pack light
00:04:39.080 Because if you bring all your emotional baggage
00:04:41.240 Yeah
00:04:41.880 Into your future relationships
00:04:43.080 They're never going to work
00:04:43.880 No one wants to deal with your baggage
00:04:45.240 Is she married now or no?
00:04:46.440 Erykah Badu
00:04:47.480 I think she's got kids
00:04:48.440 I don't know
00:04:48.840 She's got kids
00:04:49.400 She's got a kid
00:04:49.720 She does have kids
00:04:50.200 I don't know about marriage
00:04:52.200 I don't know
00:04:53.240 I'm not in the loop
00:04:53.880 Actually I met her once
00:04:55.160 Really?
00:04:56.200 Yeah
00:04:56.600 Wow
00:04:56.840 I love her
00:04:57.480 I didn't know who she was though
00:04:58.680 No way
00:04:59.880 Yeah she was cool though
00:05:01.160 I love her
00:05:01.800 She's sick
00:05:02.760 Do you guys think that the best predictor of future relationships is past relationships?
00:05:07.480 Yeah
00:05:07.800 Yeah
00:05:08.600 I don't think so
00:05:10.360 Because I feel like in life
00:05:12.280 Like if you go into a relationship
00:05:13.720 And you learn the lesson that it's taught you after you've broken up
00:05:18.600 Then no
00:05:19.800 But if you don't learn the lesson
00:05:21.880 Then the universe is just going to keep sending you the same person in a different body
00:05:25.080 And you're going to have to keep re-learning
00:05:26.520 Why do we say the universe is going to
00:05:29.160 You pick them
00:05:29.800 No
00:05:30.360 No
00:05:30.760 No
00:05:31.400 Because
00:05:31.800 Because
00:05:32.360 Hold on
00:05:33.400 Hold on
00:05:34.200 I'm adding that to my list
00:05:35.640 Wait wait wait wait wait
00:05:37.240 I'm adding that to my list of things like I want girls to stop saying the universe
00:05:40.760 The universe
00:05:41.400 But you know what some people really genuinely believe that
00:05:44.200 No you have to yes
00:05:45.080 The universe does
00:05:45.720 Because if not
00:05:46.920 If not why is it that the same person with the same character traits with the same habits with the same comes to you again and again
00:05:55.160 You need to learn the lesson
00:05:56.440 You need to learn the lesson
00:05:57.400 Until you learn the energy
00:05:58.520 I can break it down for you
00:06:00.520 Choices
00:06:01.000 Thank you
00:06:01.240 Yeah that's your preference
00:06:02.120 No I'm saying like
00:06:03.240 You either like toxic
00:06:05.080 You probably like toxic people and you're probably toxic
00:06:07.080 But at the same time
00:06:08.280 A lot of the time
00:06:09.240 You're the common denominator
00:06:10.520 I understand that actually
00:06:11.320 I understand that
00:06:12.040 So then girls will
00:06:13.320 Wait wait
00:06:13.720 So girls will take accountability off of them
00:06:16.120 And say it's the
00:06:16.760 It's and I'm not trying to pick on you
00:06:18.040 But it's like
00:06:18.760 They'll say the universe
00:06:20.120 And then it's like
00:06:21.000 It might not be the universe
00:06:22.200 It's probably you
00:06:23.080 But at the same time though
00:06:24.280 A lot of toxic relationships don't start off toxic
00:06:26.840 They start off like normal relationships
00:06:28.360 Yeah yeah yeah
00:06:28.920 And then they change
00:06:30.040 They change after the honeymoon phase
00:06:31.800 That's true
00:06:32.200 But what I would say is yeah
00:06:33.160 Poor choices
00:06:33.880 But it's because you haven't learned your lesson the first time
00:06:35.720 Yeah exactly
00:06:36.200 And there's only so many relationships you're going to go through
00:06:38.280 Before you need to look inwards and be like
00:06:39.640 Okay maybe I'm the problem
00:06:40.680 Yeah
00:06:41.080 And I
00:06:41.400 But self-reflection is hard you know
00:06:43.000 Yeah
00:06:43.560 It's hard to look at yourself
00:06:44.520 It may not
00:06:45.640 It may not
00:06:47.080 It might not start toxic
00:06:48.440 But then you probably do something that's toxic
00:06:51.080 Every relationship
00:06:52.040 Yeah no one's perfect
00:06:53.240 So
00:06:53.800 Actually relating to what you said
00:06:55.560 It makes sense
00:06:56.200 Because when you said environment
00:06:58.120 And um
00:06:59.880 How it relates
00:07:00.680 I feel like it makes sense
00:07:01.800 And when you said it's you
00:07:03.560 Environment and you
00:07:04.360 So it all depends on
00:07:05.480 Where you come from
00:07:06.360 Your upbringing
00:07:07.160 And what makes you who you are
00:07:09.880 So I feel like when you're in a past relationship
00:07:11.960 Can make your future relationship better
00:07:13.800 But how that makes it better
00:07:15.480 Is by you knowing yourself
00:07:16.520 You have to do self-reflection
00:07:17.720 You have to do self-reflection
00:07:18.840 You said self-reflection
00:07:19.960 If you don't reflect on yourself
00:07:21.800 Or if you don't know yourself
00:07:23.480 Or if you don't do better
00:07:24.840 Or if you continue to do the same thing
00:07:25.960 It's like
00:07:26.600 Whether you see and whether you like
00:07:27.800 Whether you do
00:07:28.520 That is what you're going to attract
00:07:29.720 Do any of you guys go to the gym
00:07:31.720 And you guys go to the gym
00:07:32.760 Yeah I guess sometimes I go
00:07:34.200 When I fall asleep
00:07:34.920 So if you if you're practicing squats
00:07:36.840 You get better at squatting right
00:07:38.680 So wouldn't you say the only way
00:07:40.120 To get better at being in a healthy relationship
00:07:42.040 Is to be in a healthy relationship
00:07:43.560 How would you know that?
00:07:44.200 I would think so
00:07:44.840 But also I think to be in a healthy relationship
00:07:47.000 You need to know what your boundaries are
00:07:48.760 And you need to like respect them
00:07:50.200 Like going back to boundaries again
00:07:51.240 Like if you have set boundaries
00:07:52.680 And you respect your own boundaries
00:07:54.520 And you have a level of self-respect for yourself
00:07:56.760 Then it sets the tone for other people
00:07:58.600 To come into your life and respect those boundaries
00:08:00.920 What kind of boundaries are helpful in a relationship?
00:08:03.560 I think a level of trust
00:08:05.640 Being able to give people space if they need it
00:08:08.200 Okay, trust, space
00:08:10.200 Not being like controlling or anything
00:08:12.120 Not being controlling, okay
00:08:13.960 Yeah I mean everyone's boundaries are kind of different
00:08:15.960 It kind of depends on the person
00:08:17.800 And I think it also depends on that
00:08:19.640 You've got to be independent as a woman
00:08:21.720 And be okay with being on your own
00:08:23.080 Like you need to learn to love yourself
00:08:24.920 If co-dependency is a real issue
00:08:26.840 If he leaves, it's like okay it's cool
00:08:28.600 He can leave
00:08:29.480 You know what I mean?
00:08:30.280 I've got a lot of girls rely
00:08:31.400 A lot of guys, a lot of girls depend
00:08:33.400 That's when it starts messing up
00:08:34.520 Do you know anyone that's been married for 30 plus years?
00:08:37.240 Yeah
00:08:37.800 20 plus years, not 20
00:08:39.160 20 plus years
00:08:40.600 Do you feel like that's the woman's mentality
00:08:42.760 Is I need a lot of boundaries
00:08:44.120 And I need to not need him?
00:08:46.680 I don't think it's about not needing the person
00:08:48.840 But I think there's a fine line between like
00:08:51.480 Having your own life
00:08:53.320 And then like co-dependency
00:08:55.320 Like some girls they make their relationship their whole life
00:08:59.240 And then they break up with their partner
00:09:01.240 And they're lost
00:09:01.720 They don't have no friends anymore
00:09:02.840 Because they drop out all their friends
00:09:04.440 Like they don't know themselves
00:09:06.040 They lose their whole personality
00:09:07.400 Because they've made their whole life their relationship
00:09:10.600 And you need to remember to have a laptop out of that
00:09:13.240 I'm a couple years older than you
00:09:15.000 And usually those girls actually end up getting into a relationship
00:09:18.360 And starting a family young
00:09:20.520 So it's just like instead of like you guys might have different skills
00:09:23.400 Like you're good at singing
00:09:24.200 You're good at that
00:09:24.840 Those girls just have relationship skills
00:09:27.160 So they just usually get into another relationship
00:09:29.880 Yeah to be fair
00:09:30.680 I mean they're heartbroken for a bit
00:09:32.200 But then they they find another guy
00:09:33.720 Because she proved she could be a good girlfriend to that one
00:09:36.200 So that she goes into another
00:09:37.240 Yeah some people are just relationship people I think
00:09:39.960 They're just made to like be in a relationship
00:09:41.960 Some people have the goals of like having a family young
00:09:44.520 Oh they're just naive
00:09:45.320 They just get taken advantage of
00:09:47.720 Yeah
00:09:48.520 There's a very very like fine line
00:09:51.080 There's a very very fine line between that I think
00:09:53.320 Because yeah there's a lot of girls
00:09:54.840 There is a fine line
00:09:55.480 They'll just make a man their whole life
00:09:57.000 Because it gives them validation
00:09:58.600 Because they don't love themselves
00:10:00.120 Yeah
00:10:00.760 And when you don't love yourself like I know it's cliche
00:10:03.160 But like how can you expect someone to love you properly
00:10:04.920 If you don't love and respect yourself
00:10:07.080 How would you expect them to love you?
00:10:09.000 Yeah you need to set the tone for them
00:10:10.840 You know if you show them that you don't respect yourself
00:10:13.480 And you don't love yourself
00:10:14.680 Then how are they going to do
00:10:15.800 How are they going to love you and respect you?
00:10:17.800 So how do you show them that?
00:10:19.560 I just I always hear these terms with girls
00:10:21.560 And I just it's always so broad
00:10:22.920 Don't give them too many chances
00:10:24.360 I think you know
00:10:25.080 I mean
00:10:25.560 You know like
00:10:26.520 If someone messes up
00:10:27.880 Yeah don't give them too many chances
00:10:29.400 Okay do you think the 30 year marriage
00:10:31.480 20 year marriage
00:10:33.560 The longest marriage you know
00:10:35.480 Do you think the woman's mentality was
00:10:36.920 Don't give him too many chances?
00:10:38.280 No
00:10:39.400 No
00:10:39.720 I'm just I'm talking about successful outcomes
00:10:42.360 So if we look at people with with good outcomes
00:10:44.840 Because we'd all agree
00:10:45.960 Long marriage is better than breaking up right?
00:10:49.160 Yeah
00:10:49.640 Okay
00:10:50.200 But I'm talking I'm talking about like the dating
00:10:52.600 Like when you're dating before you get into it
00:10:54.040 Because like I said I haven't actually been in a proper relationship
00:10:56.440 So I can only go with experience from dating
00:10:58.680 Do you know what I'm going to say?
00:10:59.240 I know these girls think some of you have been in relationships
00:11:01.320 Oh no
00:11:01.720 No
00:11:03.240 But like I haven't
00:11:04.520 So yeah
00:11:05.400 But I feel like you have to make sure
00:11:07.000 What was the question again?
00:11:09.080 Do you think that
00:11:11.000 Do you think that the mentality of cut a guy off quick
00:11:14.120 It was good for a long-term relationship
00:11:16.040 Don't give him too many chances?
00:11:17.080 If he's cheating
00:11:19.000 Then yeah
00:11:19.560 You've got it because he will most likely do it again
00:11:21.480 Why do we always go to like the worst case scenario?
00:11:24.520 I think
00:11:25.240 I think
00:11:26.120 Because of females
00:11:27.320 In the beginning
00:11:28.520 I think if someone
00:11:30.120 Like if you express that you don't like how someone's treating you
00:11:33.160 And then they continue to treat you like that
00:11:35.400 And then you still take them back
00:11:37.320 That's unhealthy
00:11:38.200 That's not you not respecting your boundaries
00:11:39.800 Because you don't like the way you're being treated
00:11:41.240 But you're going to stay there because you like him
00:11:43.880 Or you think that he likes you because he does nasty things to you
00:11:47.480 And then he might buy you some flowers afterwards and be like
00:11:49.080 Oh, I'm so sorry
00:11:49.800 But then he does it again
00:11:51.480 Like
00:11:52.680 That's unhealthy
00:11:53.400 Do you know what I mean?
00:11:54.520 It's a space of experience, right?
00:11:56.120 That's not good
00:11:56.920 But like if you're in a long-term marriage
00:11:59.160 Or you're in a relationship
00:12:00.200 And you have a few issues
00:12:01.080 That you don't
00:12:01.720 You don't like agree on certain things
00:12:03.560 Those things can easily be resolved with good communication
00:12:07.880 Yeah, I mean
00:12:08.360 I agree with you that you should cut people off
00:12:10.600 That aren't married
00:12:11.480 If you want to be married that aren't marriage-minded quick
00:12:14.680 But I think sometimes like as women
00:12:16.840 We always jump to like the worst-case scenario
00:12:18.760 It's either cheating
00:12:19.640 I only know this
00:12:20.760 I've done this show so many times
00:12:23.160 We have fantasies
00:12:24.120 It's always cheating
00:12:25.000 I'm starting to get better at that
00:12:26.040 I'm starting to get better
00:12:27.000 Before I used to always think of the worst-case scenario
00:12:29.160 But now I'm like
00:12:30.680 I'm calming down a little bit
00:12:32.120 Didn't you just say cheating?
00:12:33.320 No, but no
00:12:34.120 I'm taking notes
00:12:35.080 As an example
00:12:35.800 As an example
00:12:36.520 As an example
00:12:37.080 I think sometimes you just got to go with the flow
00:12:39.640 Yeah, literally
00:12:40.200 You do
00:12:40.760 You can't think too much into it
00:12:42.360 Obviously if you're not being treated right
00:12:43.720 Then obviously he's got to go
00:12:44.920 But
00:12:45.080 Yeah
00:12:46.120 100%
00:12:46.840 It's as simple as that
00:12:48.200 Okay
00:12:50.120 Can a person change and no longer be considered a toxic ex?
00:12:53.640 Yes
00:12:54.200 100%
00:12:54.920 I think they can change when they look inwards
00:12:57.640 Okay
00:12:57.960 What do you think?
00:12:58.520 Um, no
00:13:01.400 What?
00:13:01.880 You don't think people can change?
00:13:03.080 No
00:13:04.920 Depending on how long you're trying to get them to change
00:13:09.640 Depending on how long you have
00:13:11.560 No, but you know what it is
00:13:12.360 A man or a woman
00:13:13.640 Anyone will only change when they're ready to change
00:13:15.400 Yeah, you can't ever force them
00:13:16.680 You can't force them to change
00:13:17.640 Because they're never
00:13:18.600 They're never going to change for you
00:13:19.800 Like if you stay with a man hoping that he will change
00:13:21.640 He's not going to change for you
00:13:22.920 You can influence them
00:13:24.360 It's got to be genuine as well
00:13:25.720 It's got to be a genuine change
00:13:27.320 Yeah
00:13:27.720 Like it's got to last
00:13:29.160 And don't forget like sometimes
00:13:30.840 You know guys I'm sure go through stuff as well
00:13:33.240 Like certain triggers might trigger them to like
00:13:36.120 Certain toxic
00:13:37.000 Not toxic but
00:13:37.880 Attributes to like
00:13:39.160 You know come back that aren't healthy
00:13:41.640 So that needs to be taken into account as well
00:13:43.800 When he makes that change
00:13:44.760 That has he completely like
00:13:46.840 Looked within himself
00:13:47.960 That we keep saying
00:13:48.840 And like
00:13:49.160 What about her?
00:13:50.360 It's just interesting
00:13:51.960 Whenever I say toxic ex
00:13:53.160 We always say men
00:13:53.800 What about her?
00:13:55.720 I think it's because we're all kind of like
00:13:57.320 Oh we've all been in relationships with men
00:14:01.720 Yeah
00:14:02.040 But like a toxic girl you know
00:14:03.400 Because you said you knew a lot of toxic girls
00:14:05.320 Or you've seen that situation
00:14:06.280 I don't think I've really been on toxic relationships
00:14:07.880 And I've seen like toxic relationships
00:14:09.400 Where the woman is like the aggressor
00:14:11.000 Or like the toxic person
00:14:12.520 And did she change?
00:14:14.680 I don't know her well enough to know that
00:14:16.360 So I can't really speak on it
00:14:18.200 But yeah people
00:14:20.120 Some people change
00:14:20.840 But you know what it is again
00:14:21.720 Like self-reflection
00:14:22.840 It is really hard to do
00:14:24.200 When you have to look inwards
00:14:25.160 And look at yourself on your own flaws
00:14:26.920 A lot of people would rather ignore that
00:14:28.760 Because ignorance is bliss
00:14:30.840 Someone in the chat said
00:14:31.880 People only change
00:14:33.000 When the reality of their life
00:14:34.600 Convinces them to make a change
00:14:36.280 Yeah that's true
00:14:38.200 Yeah
00:14:38.680 Big situations happen
00:14:39.960 All of a sudden that would just
00:14:40.760 It's so yeah
00:14:41.560 It's like everything
00:14:43.160 I feel like a lot of people have to hit rock bottom
00:14:45.400 For them to realize
00:14:46.280 Okay I need to change this
00:14:47.480 I need to like
00:14:48.440 That's true
00:14:49.000 It's very very true
00:14:50.040 Yeah
00:14:50.200 That is true
00:14:51.080 One time I was dating a guy that my dad didn't like
00:14:54.760 And I said
00:14:56.200 I said dad do people change
00:14:57.880 That was a couple of years ago
00:14:59.800 And he looks at me and he says yes
00:15:02.760 They get worse over time
00:15:03.880 So any truth that you see
00:15:06.120 Any truth that you see now
00:15:08.120 It's going to be worse in 10 years
00:15:09.720 So we should choose carefully
00:15:11.240 Because it's not going to get better
00:15:15.080 No it's true though
00:15:15.800 Because it would just get under your skin more
00:15:18.040 As the time goes on
00:15:18.920 If you don't like something
00:15:19.720 You're not vocal about it from the beginning
00:15:21.240 Like it's going to
00:15:21.960 How do you expect it to change
00:15:23.000 It's going to dwell on your mind
00:15:23.960 And you're going to be like
00:15:24.920 Yeah
00:15:25.240 I feel like
00:15:25.880 That's how you get the ick
00:15:26.760 I feel like you can't fix a person
00:15:28.520 A person can't only fix themselves
00:15:30.120 And for them to fix themselves
00:15:31.240 They have to make countless mistakes
00:15:32.680 In order for them to realise
00:15:33.560 Yo whoa what am I doing
00:15:35.240 That's it
00:15:35.720 A hundred percent
00:15:37.320 I agree with that
00:15:38.040 And that includes
00:15:39.000 Sorry sorry
00:15:39.640 That includes going back to the triggers
00:15:41.080 You were talking about
00:15:41.960 Because without those triggers
00:15:43.720 How would you know that
00:15:44.760 You're ready for change
00:15:45.800 Or you're ready to change
00:15:47.880 You know
00:15:48.200 Okay
00:15:48.760 I think a lot of people can like
00:15:51.560 Base their like toxicity
00:15:53.400 Off like a bad upbringing and stuff
00:15:55.240 But you know what
00:15:55.960 You get to a certain age
00:15:57.000 Where you need to be held accountable
00:15:58.440 For like your behaviours and stuff
00:16:00.040 Yeah
00:16:00.280 Not necessarily
00:16:00.840 And you can't blame it
00:16:01.960 You can't blame it on your childhood and stuff
00:16:04.280 Because at the end of the day
00:16:05.400 Like you can see someone
00:16:06.360 Who's got like grown up with like
00:16:08.120 Alcoholic parents
00:16:09.240 I actually saw
00:16:10.040 Complete opposite
00:16:10.440 I saw a post
00:16:11.240 And it was like twins
00:16:12.200 And they grew up in a household
00:16:13.960 With like two alcoholic parents
00:16:16.040 And one of them became
00:16:17.560 A complete alcoholic
00:16:18.520 Just like his parents
00:16:19.320 And the other one
00:16:19.880 Fixed his whole life
00:16:20.600 Had a successful business and stuff
00:16:22.280 You know
00:16:22.600 Like if you've been given cards
00:16:24.120 But it's just like
00:16:25.560 It depends what you want to do
00:16:26.600 Like you can either learn from that
00:16:27.560 And be like
00:16:27.880 Okay I don't want to be like that
00:16:29.080 I'm going to make a change
00:16:30.280 So I'm not that kind of person
00:16:32.120 Or you can just be like
00:16:33.000 Oh I'm like that
00:16:33.640 Because my parents were like that
00:16:34.920 I'm like this
00:16:35.480 Because I grew up in a bad environment
00:16:37.000 And this explains everything
00:16:38.520 Don't you think that's because of mindset
00:16:39.960 It's the way you think
00:16:41.560 So why did you say no?
00:16:43.080 The reason why I said not necessarily
00:16:44.440 Was because like she just said
00:16:46.120 The first twin
00:16:47.560 Decided to be more of an alcoholic
00:16:49.640 And the second twin
00:16:51.000 Decided to make a change of his life
00:16:53.160 And they are two different people
00:16:54.520 But still one person
00:16:55.720 Still in the same household
00:16:57.240 But as you just said
00:16:58.680 Mindset
00:16:59.640 What depends on who you're around with
00:17:01.720 Yes it is a decision
00:17:02.840 But at the same time
00:17:04.440 You can't do it by yourself
00:17:05.880 You need people to help you
00:17:07.320 A hundred percent
00:17:08.200 Don't you get to choose the people in your life?
00:17:10.040 Yeah you do
00:17:10.760 But at the same time
00:17:12.040 Over the age of 18
00:17:12.920 You guys have all come across really bad
00:17:15.000 I'm pretty sure you guys have all come across really bad people
00:17:17.160 But you didn't end up being like them
00:17:18.440 You chose with them
00:17:19.400 Yeah
00:17:19.640 But you're not them
00:17:20.520 But at the same time you like realise like okay
00:17:23.560 I don't want to be like this
00:17:24.600 So you're not going to associate yourself with people that don't
00:17:27.000 Again it's like what you said
00:17:28.440 Having boundaries
00:17:30.360 What you accept into your life
00:17:32.040 Yeah a hundred percent
00:17:33.240 Do you know what I mean?
00:17:33.720 The same way we don't have the same body
00:17:35.080 Is the same way we don't have the same mindset
00:17:36.920 No a hundred percent
00:17:37.720 A mindset is something that you learn like over time
00:17:39.880 Yeah
00:17:40.360 And everyone's way of learning is different
00:17:41.880 Like the same way school isn't for everyone
00:17:43.560 It's the same way the way you take education differently
00:17:45.640 Yeah
00:17:46.040 Yeah
00:17:46.520 So you can't be in a person when they don't change their lives
00:17:49.400 But at the same time like
00:17:51.880 You can't sit there and blame everything else
00:17:54.360 For the way your life's turned out
00:17:55.800 Because everyone has a sob story
00:17:58.520 Like everyone goes through shit yeah
00:18:00.120 But it just needs one person
00:18:01.080 It's about how you deal with it
00:18:03.640 You know if you don't want to be in that situation
00:18:05.400 Then you work towards getting yourself out of that situation
00:18:08.040 You know if you sit there and you sulk
00:18:09.400 And you're like oh I'm in this situation
00:18:10.600 And you don't make no change
00:18:12.120 Like how do you expect to grow how do you expect yourself to change
00:18:15.880 Yeah exactly
00:18:16.680 You have to become the change and take actions towards that change
00:18:20.360 Like thinking and all of that is nothing without action
00:18:23.080 You gotta continue consistently execute it
00:18:26.520 That's really important
00:18:27.400 It is
00:18:29.480 I have a question for you guys
00:18:31.240 Do you think that people who constantly label their exes as toxic
00:18:34.920 Are looking for an excuse for the failed relationship
00:18:37.880 Yes
00:18:38.120 Yes a hundred percent
00:18:39.240 Yes
00:18:40.600 Yes
00:18:41.240 I would say yes as well
00:18:42.200 Yeah
00:18:43.560 Because it gets to a point again like you need to look inwards
00:18:45.640 If all of your relationships were toxic
00:18:47.400 And the other person was always the bad person
00:18:49.640 It's a bit suspicious
00:18:50.680 Look again love
00:18:51.400 Look again
00:18:51.880 I think I'm just thinking now actually that
00:18:54.920 Going back into whether I'm toxic
00:18:56.360 I've just realised that I've never been a toxic one
00:18:59.800 Like I have never
00:19:00.360 You've never
00:19:01.000 You've never
00:19:01.400 I've never
00:19:02.040 I've realised always the other person
00:19:03.400 I've been the sweet
00:19:04.600 The sweet pie
00:19:06.440 Do you feel like
00:19:07.080 Okay wait
00:19:07.560 I'm gonna
00:19:10.680 Were you
00:19:11.240 Were you
00:19:11.800 Were you going through your ex's likes
00:19:15.560 Were you
00:19:16.120 No
00:19:16.600 I don't remember
00:19:17.400 Were you looking at who he followed
00:19:20.600 Yes
00:19:20.920 But
00:19:21.400 But
00:19:21.480 No that's not toxic
00:19:23.560 That's not toxic
00:19:24.280 That's seeing if I can trust him or not
00:19:25.400 Guys
00:19:25.640 One in the chat
00:19:26.440 One in the chat if that's toxic
00:19:27.960 One in the chat
00:19:29.400 That's just one person out of how many people in the world
00:19:31.560 At the end of the day
00:19:32.520 We let people in the comments
00:19:33.800 No you said you said you said never
00:19:35.880 You said you were never toxic
00:19:37.480 But you know what it is
00:19:38.280 I feel like
00:19:39.160 A lot of people
00:19:40.680 My age
00:19:41.160 Not even my age
00:19:42.120 I meet a lot of girls
00:19:43.000 That they say the same thing
00:19:44.280 Obviously we spoke about already
00:19:45.880 We've covered it already
00:19:46.600 About relationship
00:19:47.320 That's different
00:19:47.880 You're in and there for trust
00:19:49.000 Yeah
00:19:49.480 But when you're like dating
00:19:51.000 And you're getting to know a person
00:19:52.440 I think you should be curious to see
00:19:53.800 Whether you can trust them or not
00:19:54.920 It's out of curiosity
00:19:56.040 You don't do it all the time
00:19:57.080 How can you trust someone
00:19:58.120 By looking at their Instagram followers
00:19:59.640 No no but
00:20:01.160 What do you mean
00:20:01.960 Because you said oh
00:20:02.840 You checked the followers to see if you can trust them
00:20:04.840 But how is checking the followers
00:20:06.200 Seeing you can trust them
00:20:06.920 No but you're just curious to see
00:20:07.880 What type of girls he follows
00:20:09.400 Whether the sexual discipline is there or not
00:20:11.240 Question is how long do you have to be curious for
00:20:16.840 Are you able to see what type of corn a guy watches
00:20:20.360 What?
00:20:21.320 Yes
00:20:21.880 You can't
00:20:22.440 Yes
00:20:22.840 No I'm saying
00:20:23.720 I'm saying
00:20:24.760 I can't say
00:20:25.560 I can't say
00:20:26.440 It's on YouTube
00:20:27.160 Oh
00:20:27.640 Oh
00:20:28.200 Oh
00:20:28.840 Did you tell them the trigger words?
00:20:30.120 Yeah
00:20:30.440 Yeah
00:20:33.720 No no
00:20:34.280 That's
00:20:34.680 I'm not interested in that
00:20:35.960 To me it's just like
00:20:36.920 I don't know it's Instagram
00:20:37.960 Guys look
00:20:38.600 That's what they do
00:20:39.240 Yeah
00:20:39.640 Like it's general
00:20:40.680 In general
00:20:41.240 Like if it's a pretty girl
00:20:42.200 Like you're going to appreciate the beauty
00:20:43.320 You're going to like the photo
00:20:44.280 Like the same way
00:20:45.000 It's like
00:20:45.480 If you see a pretty girl on the street
00:20:46.840 You're going to look
00:20:47.480 I don't know about you
00:20:48.120 But like whenever I go
00:20:49.000 With a big bar walk past
00:20:50.040 I always look
00:20:50.600 What?
00:20:52.040 You just got to understand
00:20:53.320 Yeah
00:20:53.960 In a generation that we're living in
00:20:55.320 This is actually normal
00:20:57.080 Like prostitution is normal
00:20:59.240 Escort is normal
00:21:00.920 See
00:21:01.240 So what would you guys do?
00:21:02.200 Wait wait wait wait wait
00:21:05.240 It's normal
00:21:05.960 Prostitute
00:21:06.600 Do you know a lot of prostitutes?
00:21:08.680 From what I've seen on social media
00:21:10.360 Oh on social media
00:21:11.240 Okay okay
00:21:11.720 Yes
00:21:12.120 It's a norm
00:21:13.880 I was like
00:21:14.760 In your school
00:21:15.560 Did you know any?
00:21:16.680 No
00:21:17.080 No
00:21:17.400 No
00:21:17.560 Just
00:21:17.720 I think it's definitely
00:21:20.040 Blown up in popularity
00:21:21.240 Not that it's blown up in popularity
00:21:22.680 But it's become more normalized
00:21:24.120 Even though it was like
00:21:25.160 It's the oldest
00:21:26.360 Like
00:21:27.320 Way of making money for a woman
00:21:28.760 Like in
00:21:29.720 The world
00:21:30.200 Yeah
00:21:30.520 But like
00:21:31.960 Yeah I think
00:21:32.440 It makes money
00:21:33.000 I do this
00:21:33.400 It's definitely like
00:21:34.760 Blown up in popularity
00:21:35.720 And it's more like
00:21:36.360 In your face
00:21:36.920 Like yeah
00:21:37.400 And the reason why it's normal
00:21:38.520 Is because no one has any morals
00:21:40.520 No
00:21:40.840 Morals does not exist
00:21:42.280 No more
00:21:42.920 With me it does
00:21:44.200 I'm talking for myself
00:21:45.720 That it does
00:21:46.200 But not about you guys
00:21:47.000 But morals does not exist
00:21:48.840 Morals don't exist
00:21:49.880 I think everyone's morals are different
00:21:53.000 Can I ask a question?
00:21:53.800 Because I actually want some advice here
00:21:55.320 You're saying for society
00:21:56.600 Yeah
00:21:56.920 Okay
00:21:57.160 Listen listen
00:21:58.200 I want some advice here
00:21:59.160 What would you guys do
00:22:00.280 Not advice not for me
00:22:01.160 But for
00:22:01.560 What would you guys do
00:22:03.640 If
00:22:04.120 If
00:22:04.680 Um
00:22:05.000 He was in the dms
00:22:06.120 Of the girls
00:22:06.840 He was liking
00:22:07.640 And
00:22:08.360 Following
00:22:10.280 Um
00:22:11.320 Well I think that's a bit
00:22:12.360 Why are you together?
00:22:13.320 I think that's a bit different
00:22:14.520 I mean to be honest
00:22:15.160 If you're not together
00:22:15.800 You're not together
00:22:16.360 He has the absolute freedom
00:22:17.560 To do whatever he wishes
00:22:19.160 Until you decide
00:22:20.120 That you guys are both exclusive
00:22:21.480 Or you're in a relationship
00:22:22.520 I know a lot of guys
00:22:23.400 That will
00:22:23.960 You know when you react
00:22:25.320 With the love heart eyes
00:22:28.040 You'll pout into the dms
00:22:29.720 Like that
00:22:30.200 I know a lot of guys
00:22:30.920 That when they've got a goal
00:22:32.680 What do we think about
00:22:33.480 Is that not dms?
00:22:34.360 I don't think that's really
00:22:35.320 Appropriate
00:22:35.960 Yeah
00:22:37.720 I don't think it's appropriate
00:22:39.080 But like if you just like
00:22:40.280 A photo
00:22:41.000 Like obviously when you send
00:22:42.120 Like the heart eyes to the dm
00:22:43.400 It's like basically
00:22:44.040 You're starting a conversation
00:22:44.920 What if it's a really
00:22:45.880 Revealing photo?
00:22:46.920 Sheesh that's even worse no?
00:22:49.240 Yeah that is worse
00:22:51.160 See
00:22:51.800 You guys are contradicting
00:22:53.400 Exactly what you were saying before
00:22:55.560 I mean to me
00:22:56.520 But to me
00:22:57.080 My question
00:22:57.880 But my question is
00:22:59.880 How do you know that?
00:23:01.240 And that's what I'm saying
00:23:02.120 Like
00:23:02.360 But you should be cool
00:23:03.320 You should be aware
00:23:04.120 Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
00:23:05.560 So I'm saying
00:23:06.200 How do you know that?
00:23:07.480 So if you know that information
00:23:09.320 You're probably going through his likes
00:23:10.840 You're going through his following
00:23:11.800 And you're going through his phone
00:23:12.600 No but let's say you follow
00:23:13.160 Some of my girls
00:23:13.880 So wait wait wait wait wait wait
00:23:15.960 So my whole point
00:23:17.240 Is that if you know all that information
00:23:18.760 You're probably toxic
00:23:19.800 Because you're probably all over his shit
00:23:21.720 That's actually true
00:23:22.680 It's true
00:23:23.160 I'm not saying that it's okay for him to do that
00:23:25.880 Yeah
00:23:26.360 But my whole point
00:23:27.480 Is like a lot of
00:23:28.280 Wait wait
00:23:29.720 My whole point is
00:23:30.920 A lot of times girls will talk about how toxic he is
00:23:34.120 But it's like
00:23:34.520 How did you find out that information?
00:23:36.120 You're toxic too
00:23:37.320 Because you've probably had some trauma in the past
00:23:39.480 Or something that happened in the past
00:23:40.760 That makes you want to do it in the future
00:23:42.440 So even if it's a good guy
00:23:44.200 And you go into a relationship
00:23:45.480 You're not going in in good faith
00:23:47.240 And you're going through all his shit
00:23:48.600 Before he's even done anything
00:23:49.880 Before you're even dating
00:23:51.160 No yeah
00:23:53.400 It depends on the length
00:23:55.080 That girl is going to
00:23:56.120 Does it make sense?
00:23:56.680 There's different levels
00:23:57.880 If it's like a one-time thing
00:23:59.480 Cool
00:23:59.960 If it's constantly
00:24:01.480 Then you've got to lock it off
00:24:02.440 But it's still my question
00:24:04.040 How do you know?
00:24:05.960 What do you mean?
00:24:06.440 Because you're cute
00:24:07.240 Like
00:24:07.720 Do you know what I mean?
00:24:08.280 You'll see it
00:24:08.920 That's why I'm scrolling on Instagram
00:24:09.880 I'll see
00:24:10.200 You'll see the likes there anyway
00:24:11.560 I was going to say
00:24:12.120 We like by
00:24:12.840 No but with the DMs and stuff
00:24:14.760 With the DMs
00:24:15.400 You'd obviously have to log into their Instagram
00:24:17.080 Or go on their phone to see it
00:24:17.880 Oh no I've never been in that position
00:24:18.840 That's not personal experience
00:24:20.120 I've never done that
00:24:21.000 You being intentionally curious
00:24:22.760 To know who he's like
00:24:23.720 And who he's talking to
00:24:24.680 That's already toxic in itself
00:24:26.040 How is that toxic?
00:24:27.400 Because how does it make you feel
00:24:28.680 When you do that?
00:24:29.800 How is that toxic though?
00:24:30.920 But how does it make you feel
00:24:31.960 When it makes you feel like shit
00:24:33.480 Because you're looking for problems
00:24:36.040 If you're going through his likes
00:24:38.200 I agree with that
00:24:39.320 And the crazy thing is
00:24:40.280 But you need to know the truth
00:24:41.320 What y'all do
00:24:43.480 Y'all go through the likes
00:24:45.000 You'll go through the following
00:24:46.360 And instead of just ending it
00:24:47.720 No you start a fight
00:24:48.680 And you don't break up with him
00:24:49.880 So it's like
00:24:50.280 Why did you even go through it to begin with?
00:24:52.360 Victor
00:24:52.760 I confirmed this comment
00:24:54.200 You may as well have just not looked at it
00:24:57.320 And just lived your life
00:24:58.600 Because if you're looking for something
00:24:59.800 And you find it
00:25:00.360 What's going to happen now?
00:25:01.240 Okay so now you found it
00:25:02.440 And that's what I say
00:25:03.080 Like I've just found that the girls
00:25:04.440 That do that stuff
00:25:05.240 They just want the drama
00:25:06.520 And the fight
00:25:07.240 And to fight
00:25:08.040 And then get back together
00:25:09.080 And not break up
00:25:10.280 And it's like
00:25:11.480 You know
00:25:12.440 If she really saw it
00:25:13.800 And really ended it
00:25:14.600 That would be one thing
00:25:15.400 But they never do
00:25:18.840 A little bit on wanting the drama
00:25:20.680 And wanting the fight
00:25:21.240 I don't think it's intentionally
00:25:22.760 I want to fight
00:25:23.800 I want to find this drama
00:25:25.000 It's more of
00:25:25.800 Can I trust you?
00:25:26.440 Can I trust you?
00:25:27.320 That's trauma
00:25:28.280 I think
00:25:28.600 Yeah I think it's a bit of insecurity there
00:25:30.520 Because at the end of the day
00:25:31.480 Like why would you get into a relationship
00:25:33.080 With someone you don't trust?
00:25:34.280 Yeah
00:25:34.680 It doesn't make any sense to me
00:25:35.960 Do you even like who you're with?
00:25:37.400 Like
00:25:37.880 Yeah
00:25:38.200 Like if you're constantly
00:25:39.080 If you're in a relationship
00:25:39.880 And you're constantly trying to find out
00:25:41.160 If he's doing something
00:25:42.040 You clearly don't trust him
00:25:43.000 So you shouldn't be with him
00:25:43.960 So you shouldn't
00:25:44.280 You know
00:25:44.920 Someone can break your trust after a while
00:25:47.080 Yeah of course
00:25:47.720 Yeah someone can break your trust
00:25:48.600 Yeah trust takes a long time
00:25:49.960 Someone can break your trust over a long time
00:25:52.120 But if you don't trust someone
00:25:53.720 Like and you're not willing to trust them
00:25:55.160 But you know you can trust someone
00:25:56.360 And end up not trusting them
00:25:57.880 And that's them breaking a trust
00:25:59.080 That you thought that you
00:26:00.120 Of course
00:26:00.520 But I think a relationship is
00:26:02.280 The foundation of a relationship
00:26:03.720 Is trust
00:26:04.840 Is trust
00:26:05.400 You haven't got a healthy relationship
00:26:07.080 If you don't trust each other
00:26:08.440 Yeah yeah yeah
00:26:09.160 I just think it's healthier
00:26:10.280 Like okay if it comes to you
00:26:11.880 Fine
00:26:12.440 Yeah
00:26:13.000 But it's like if you're out
00:26:14.040 Looking for problems
00:26:15.240 Like you're toxic
00:26:16.040 Yeah
00:26:16.600 Yeah you can't
00:26:17.320 At the end of the day
00:26:18.040 Ignorance is bliss
00:26:19.160 Yeah
00:26:19.400 So like if something's going on
00:26:21.480 Behind closed doors
00:26:22.200 And you're not aware of it
00:26:23.160 And he's keeping it on the down low
00:26:24.520 And like you don't know nothing
00:26:25.640 Like it can't hurt you
00:26:27.000 Yeah
00:26:27.320 And you think that's okay
00:26:28.360 No I don't think it's okay
00:26:29.640 Of course I was looking at all
00:26:31.720 No I don't think it's okay
00:26:32.920 Some girls are okay with that
00:26:34.040 You know they're like
00:26:34.440 What you don't know can't hurt you
00:26:35.640 And I don't agree with that
00:26:36.360 Staging
00:26:36.680 No but the thing is
00:26:37.480 It's like cool
00:26:38.680 If you find something suspicious
00:26:39.960 And you don't trust them
00:26:40.680 And something does come to you
00:26:41.720 Then fair enough
00:26:42.440 But if you go out looking for it
00:26:43.800 It's like you're deliberately looking
00:26:45.720 For something to hurt you
00:26:46.840 Yeah
00:26:47.240 Yeah yeah yeah
00:26:47.880 You could literally call it a form of self-harm
00:26:49.800 What's your question?
00:26:50.840 But do you think that stems from trauma?
00:26:52.040 Yeah no I think it's ours
00:26:53.800 I think it does
00:26:54.360 Oh my gosh
00:26:54.840 Trauma is going to war
00:26:56.120 Not your ex-boyfriend shooting on you
00:26:59.720 Like oh great
00:27:00.520 What did you say?
00:27:01.240 How does that
00:27:02.280 I understand what you're trying to say
00:27:03.560 I'm not disagreeing
00:27:04.600 I'm not agreeing
00:27:05.320 But it's that how does that cause problems within yourself
00:27:09.240 When that is already a problem
00:27:10.920 Which you now just found
00:27:13.160 Well because at the end of the day
00:27:14.360 If you're if you go out looking for the problem
00:27:16.600 You're talking about the likes on Instagram
00:27:18.040 Oh the likes on Instagram
00:27:19.400 I mean to be honest
00:27:20.120 Like if you're not in a relationship
00:27:21.400 Yeah
00:27:21.880 Even if you're in a relationship
00:27:22.840 I don't think it's a problem
00:27:23.640 If you like a girl's picture
00:27:24.520 I find it a problem
00:27:25.320 When you start DMing them
00:27:26.360 And trying to contact them
00:27:27.160 And meet up with them
00:27:28.200 That is the issue
00:27:29.800 But at the end of the day
00:27:30.600 Like if you if you don't trust someone
00:27:32.120 Then you should genuinely
00:27:33.160 Shouldn't be with them
00:27:33.880 The whole question is
00:27:34.600 How did you find it?
00:27:36.600 It's one thing
00:27:37.160 It's like okay
00:27:38.200 It's one thing if a girl DMs you
00:27:40.680 And and says oh he screenshots whatever
00:27:43.800 And it comes to you
00:27:45.160 But if you're going through his likes all the time
00:27:47.000 Going through his Instagram
00:27:48.200 Going through his DMs
00:27:49.320 Going through his following
00:27:50.600 You cannot tell
00:27:51.400 That is mad
00:27:51.640 You're literally setting yourself up
00:27:53.800 Even if you're just doing one of the three
00:27:55.480 It's like you're looking for problems
00:27:57.800 But how is that looking for a problem
00:27:59.560 When the problem was already there?
00:28:01.480 Okay how
00:28:02.760 But why would the problem be there?
00:28:04.040 Why did the problem exist in the first place?
00:28:05.400 Because you're not
00:28:06.280 You're not going into a relationship in good faith
00:28:08.760 You know what good faith is?
00:28:10.120 Yeah
00:28:10.680 Okay so
00:28:11.720 So because the question is
00:28:12.840 Why did you look to begin with?
00:28:14.920 There might have been something that could trigger that
00:28:17.560 Okay
00:28:18.120 But that
00:28:19.000 There might have been like
00:28:20.280 For example you see him like
00:28:21.480 Whenever you walk into the room
00:28:22.600 He quickly has his phone or
00:28:24.360 That could trigger your curiosity
00:28:26.440 Yeah
00:28:26.920 Right
00:28:27.160 You would want to know
00:28:27.880 Okay why is he hiding his phone?
00:28:29.080 Why is he doing that?
00:28:29.800 Why is he doing X, Y and Z?
00:28:30.920 So
00:28:31.800 That could be a valid reason
00:28:33.720 But then
00:28:34.760 But why would you get
00:28:35.480 Let there be a reason?
00:28:36.360 Why would you get triggered by that?
00:28:37.320 Let there be a reason
00:28:37.960 I guess sometimes
00:28:38.520 Why would you get triggered by the fact
00:28:39.800 He hides his phone?
00:28:40.760 Is it not from part of experiences?
00:28:41.960 Well it shows that he doesn't feel comfortable
00:28:43.560 No, no, no
00:28:44.120 That's just him physically showing you
00:28:46.040 That he doesn't feel comfortable
00:28:47.640 You seeing what he's doing on his phone
00:28:49.240 Why should you have to hide the phone from you
00:28:50.760 If you trust me?
00:28:52.600 Well, how about if he turns his phone flat?
00:28:56.280 I think again though
00:28:57.640 But I think again
00:28:58.440 Sorry, go ahead
00:28:59.320 I think again it links back to like
00:29:00.840 Insecurity and trust issues
00:29:02.200 And like maybe
00:29:03.160 Maybe issues from past relationships
00:29:05.080 Yeah, you see what I mean?
00:29:05.720 But at the end of the day
00:29:06.600 Because if he's hiding his phone
00:29:07.480 I wouldn't think
00:29:08.120 I've never thought in my life
00:29:09.560 Oh, he's hiding his phone
00:29:10.600 I just think
00:29:11.000 Oh, he's just putting it away
00:29:12.040 Yes, you have
00:29:12.600 No, but the way
00:29:14.200 It's the way
00:29:14.840 It's not about him
00:29:15.560 Oh yeah, oh babe, you're here
00:29:16.840 I want to give you attention
00:29:18.120 But the whole thing is like
00:29:19.400 It's like leave him
00:29:20.200 Yeah, exactly
00:29:22.040 Yeah, then leave him
00:29:23.000 You don't have to go through
00:29:23.880 I guess some girls want some reassurance
00:29:26.200 And there's nothing wrong with that
00:29:27.720 No, there's nothing wrong with reinsurance
00:29:29.160 But looking for something
00:29:29.560 That you may call a problem
00:29:30.920 Doesn't mean it is a problem
00:29:32.920 Yeah, but at what cost?
00:29:34.600 Like how often are you going to go through his shit?
00:29:37.000 Like it's like
00:29:37.560 Are you going to go through it?
00:29:38.440 And then now you're happy
00:29:39.400 And it's draining
00:29:40.040 You're never going to go through it again
00:29:41.240 You're not happy after going through it
00:29:43.160 You'll dig yourself a hole
00:29:45.000 And before you know it
00:29:46.120 You'll probably check in every day
00:29:47.320 What is this guy doing?
00:29:48.440 Where is he?
00:29:49.160 It's like I'm reliving my past
00:29:50.440 What's going on?
00:29:51.240 And then that builds up a problem in your head
00:29:53.320 Some of the time
00:29:53.960 Like you might even create an issue in your head
00:29:55.560 Which doesn't even exist
00:29:56.840 And that's overthinking
00:29:58.280 As crazy as that sounds
00:30:00.040 As crazy as this sounds
00:30:01.240 Some people actually have to dig themselves a problem
00:30:05.000 Yeah
00:30:05.400 No, some people actually have to do that
00:30:07.960 Yeah
00:30:08.200 Some people realise that they're in something toxic
00:30:11.160 Is that what you mean?
00:30:11.640 Yeah
00:30:12.120 And some females just want
00:30:13.800 For the sake of argument
00:30:14.840 Just for entertainment purposes
00:30:16.040 To excite
00:30:16.680 And just
00:30:17.000 And that's the difference
00:30:18.920 I've never done that
00:30:20.920 But obviously
00:30:21.400 Some people live for the adrenaline
00:30:23.320 Like the boost
00:30:24.520 I have
00:30:25.320 Yeah
00:30:25.640 And that's the difference between most females
00:30:27.160 Because not all females are the same
00:30:28.200 No, 100%
00:30:29.240 Yeah
00:30:29.720 But again
00:30:30.280 Like if you
00:30:30.840 If you feel like you have to check their socials every day
00:30:33.080 And they're checking what they're doing
00:30:34.520 And seeing what they're doing
00:30:35.320 That's mad though
00:30:36.360 But you know what
00:30:36.920 I think it
00:30:37.400 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
00:30:38.280 Okay
00:30:38.520 There's nothing wrong with what?
00:30:39.560 There's nothing wrong with checking
00:30:41.160 With checking their socials
00:30:42.360 What do you mean by checking their socials?
00:30:43.960 Oh, I love how she's sticking up for me
00:30:45.080 Wait, wait, okay, okay, wait
00:30:46.520 So go on, go on, go on
00:30:48.360 Tell me, tell me
00:30:49.480 The reason why I'm saying that because
00:30:51.160 Checking what by the way?
00:30:53.080 Going back to what she said
00:30:54.040 Like the likes and who they're commenting at
00:30:56.280 I'm not talking about the DMs
00:30:57.080 Because I can't actually log into his Instagram
00:30:59.000 And see his DMs
00:31:00.040 But the comment is basically
00:31:04.120 Going up to a girl and saying
00:31:05.400 Mm-mm, look good
00:31:07.080 Unless that's their friend
00:31:08.280 That's a whole different
00:31:09.240 So unless that's someone that they knew before
00:31:11.560 Okay, question
00:31:12.600 Do you want to be married someday?
00:31:15.160 Yeah
00:31:15.800 Do you think that's healthy for a long-term marriage?
00:31:19.080 Do you think that's the future of success?
00:31:21.160 He shouldn't be doing it if he's married
00:31:22.520 Long successful marriages
00:31:24.120 Is to be looking through your husband's following
00:31:27.320 Who he's liking on Instagram, all that
00:31:30.440 He would have stopped by then
00:31:31.400 Yes and no
00:31:31.800 And told him to stop
00:31:32.600 But you know what?
00:31:33.320 Again, like it all circles back to you not trusting that person
00:31:37.080 You see what I mean?
00:31:37.800 Because you're searching that Instagram
00:31:39.400 To see if there's an issue there
00:31:40.600 There's a reason why you shouldn't trust them
00:31:42.200 Like literally
00:31:42.840 If it's not, if it's not Instagram
00:31:44.200 It's always going to be something
00:31:45.240 Yeah, by the way, I'm not only based on Instagram guys
00:31:48.280 I'm not a social media guy
00:31:49.320 Emails, it could be his email guys
00:31:51.560 His Google search
00:31:52.360 Like there's always something you can
00:31:53.560 That's crazy
00:31:54.200 Yeah, there's always something you can look through
00:31:57.880 Yeah
00:31:58.360 You know, and sometimes you take an L
00:32:00.120 I mean, some people meet the husband's other family at the funeral
00:32:03.640 You know, it just happens
00:32:06.360 Sometimes you just take an L
00:32:07.560 But there's always going to be something to look through
00:32:09.560 Yeah, 100%
00:32:10.920 And so it's not necessarily that he should be liking the photos
00:32:13.560 It's like the mindset behind it
00:32:15.160 Yeah
00:32:16.280 Okay, I'm going to read Super Chats for a second
00:32:18.280 Okay
00:32:19.800 Guys, make
00:32:20.440 Hold on
00:32:22.760 Sorry, okay
00:32:23.960 Guys, make sure you like the video
00:32:25.640 That is the most important metric that YouTube uses
00:32:28.040 To push out these live streams
00:32:29.320 So make sure you get to 1,000 likes today
00:32:31.720 We will open up the chat
00:32:32.920 Come on, y'all
00:32:33.480 A like is free
00:32:34.760 We are also reading all Super Chats
00:32:36.680 So make sure you send Super Chat
00:32:38.520 And we will read it
00:32:39.880 Alright, KCFSAC
00:32:44.360 They're insecure because at the end of the day
00:32:45.960 They have nothing to offer men
00:32:47.240 Other than depreciating looks and used box
00:32:49.560 And therefore they're replaceable
00:32:51.000 Black Moses
00:32:51.720 The chick on the end is justifying her toxicity
00:32:53.960 And is looking for issues to be toxic
00:32:55.720 KCF
00:32:56.520 They are excuse makers
00:32:58.040 Only go for guys that look like King Richie's
00:33:01.720 Chief Keef
00:33:03.560 Chief Keef
00:33:04.360 Pearl is this emoji
00:33:05.880 Red pill plus red head
00:33:08.040 Silly sausage
00:33:08.840 Girls have 27 boundaries
00:33:10.440 Yet when a guy has one boundary
00:33:12.440 And you break it and call him controlling
00:33:14.120 The politest way possible
00:33:16.120 You are just waffling
00:33:17.240 Michelle
00:33:17.800 Pearl add boundaries to the list
00:33:19.640 Or at least the definition of boundaries
00:33:22.440 Because that's
00:33:23.400 Because what my man and family are my whole life
00:33:26.200 Alphro
00:33:27.400 Reap what you sow
00:33:28.280 You grow what you plant
00:33:29.480 Con Cortez
00:33:31.560 I'm Sicilian
00:33:34.520 I had a girl from Malta
00:33:36.280 I was a freshman
00:33:37.000 She was a junior
00:33:37.640 And she loved seeing me
00:33:39.080 For seeing me fight for her
00:33:41.560 Definitely toxic
00:33:42.760 Alphro
00:33:44.280 Regine
00:33:44.920 Morning after pill
00:33:46.440 Is working for 72 hours
00:33:48.040 After taking it
00:33:48.840 Why did you need to take
00:33:49.880 Six to seven times a month
00:33:51.640 That's 18 to 21 days of coverage
00:33:53.880 I'm scared
00:33:54.360 You didn't know when you ovulated
00:33:56.680 Carlos X
00:33:57.560 Imagine a dude
00:33:59.080 Ghibli saying they had sex
00:34:00.680 With a girlfriend's sister on a show
00:34:02.440 That will get at least
00:34:03.560 Hundreds of thousands of views
00:34:04.920 You can't make this up
00:34:06.840 Zoros
00:34:07.800 It's funny when modern women think
00:34:09.880 Men and women are the same
00:34:11.160 When women sleep around their 304s
00:34:13.080 And lose value
00:34:13.880 But men are the 304 makers
00:34:18.520 Okay okay
00:34:19.640 Let me refresh the page really quick
00:34:21.640 Also guys sign up for our form
00:34:25.240 We are going to be doing events
00:34:26.200 In each city
00:34:27.160 We're also going to do a red pill boxing event
00:34:29.160 So if you want to know
00:34:30.520 Who I think
00:34:31.880 I don't want to speak too soon
00:34:33.560 But I'm 80% sure
00:34:35.160 I have two youtubers that are willing to box
00:34:37.240 So when I go back to Chicago
00:34:39.160 We're going to host like a whole boxing event
00:34:40.600 And if you want to know who it is
00:34:41.640 Sign up for our email list
00:34:42.680 That is in the
00:34:44.120 Is it in the comments or the description blessing
00:34:48.200 It's a pinned comment
00:34:49.160 Okay it's pinned in the chat
00:34:51.800 Also we're going to do meetups
00:34:54.040 When I'm in the U.S. next month
00:34:55.560 So we're going to do I think L.A.
00:34:57.960 Atlanta possibly
00:34:59.400 Nashville
00:35:00.760 And Chicago
00:35:02.200 They're just going to be low
00:35:03.400 Like we're just going to send out texts
00:35:04.760 And whoever wants to come
00:35:05.720 Come it's going to be at like a coffee shop
00:35:07.160 Or something
00:35:08.600 With security
00:35:09.400 No weird stuff
00:35:10.200 Okay
00:35:10.600 Yeah
00:35:10.920 Okay
00:35:13.480 But make sure you guys like the video
00:35:14.840 I'm going to refresh this real quick
00:35:16.040 To see if there's any more super chats
00:35:17.800 And then we're going to get back to the show
00:35:21.000 Okay
00:35:23.800 Okay
00:35:24.120 Do you think it's possible to have a healthy relationship with a former toxic ex
00:35:34.200 In the future
00:35:35.240 Yeah
00:35:35.640 Oh yeah
00:35:36.360 So cute
00:35:37.320 It's possible
00:35:37.800 Yeah I agree
00:35:38.360 I think you can
00:35:38.920 I think you can
00:35:39.400 Happy ending
00:35:40.280 Like you've grown up
00:35:41.560 You've leveled up
00:35:42.760 Mindsets are different
00:35:44.680 And you've both grown individuals as people
00:35:47.000 And you've done your self-reflection
00:35:48.840 And figured out how to love yourself
00:35:50.600 And not depend
00:35:51.480 You know there's a lot of life lessons
00:35:52.760 And I'll say there's a possibility
00:35:54.360 So yeah
00:35:55.160 It's not common
00:35:55.960 But like I think it's a possibility
00:35:58.600 Yeah
00:35:58.920 If you guys go your separate ways
00:36:00.200 Go like you said
00:36:01.160 And then come back
00:36:02.120 And then yeah
00:36:03.000 Sometimes mental work
00:36:04.120 It could work and it couldn't work
00:36:05.240 Yeah
00:36:05.480 How important is it to be honest with yourself about past relationships
00:36:16.040 Extremely
00:36:17.880 Because the last person you would want to lie to is yourself
00:36:21.000 That's the last person
00:36:22.040 Have you ever lied to yourself before?
00:36:28.120 That's a hot question
00:36:29.560 Yes you have
00:36:30.360 It's based on what she said
00:36:31.800 No no
00:36:32.120 But I've always tried to be as honest as possible
00:36:36.040 And state out the facts about certain situations
00:36:39.480 I possibly have lied to myself
00:36:41.400 Yes
00:36:42.280 Not aware of right now
00:36:43.240 But
00:36:44.600 How did you grow from that?
00:36:48.680 Journaling
00:36:50.440 Asking for advice
00:36:51.640 Asking for people's opinions on my situation
00:36:55.480 And
00:36:56.760 Studying human behavior
00:36:58.920 Okay
00:36:59.320 Like studying psychology?
00:37:00.920 No
00:37:01.480 I just literally
00:37:02.600 Naturally love to
00:37:04.200 Know people for who they are
00:37:05.400 And how they act
00:37:06.280 And their behaviors
00:37:07.960 Yeah
00:37:08.280 It's a spiritual thing
00:37:09.320 Yeah
00:37:09.640 I do too
00:37:10.040 Yeah
00:37:10.200 It's a spiritual thing
00:37:11.080 I agree with you
00:37:12.120 Um
00:37:12.520 Yeah I definitely feel like I've lied to myself
00:37:14.280 Because I feel like
00:37:15.240 When you're in a toxic situation
00:37:17.240 And then you make excuses for that other person
00:37:19.160 You make those excuses for yourself
00:37:20.920 To accept that
00:37:21.720 Their behaviors
00:37:22.520 So I definitely think
00:37:24.360 Yeah
00:37:24.600 I have in the past
00:37:26.440 Yeah
00:37:26.680 I'll say definitely I have
00:37:27.960 And the reason why
00:37:29.080 Is to make it seem as if yeah
00:37:30.440 Everything is all
00:37:31.320 Ooh yaddy yaddy
00:37:32.280 Yay
00:37:32.520 Rainbow sunshine
00:37:34.440 So it's like
00:37:35.240 It's like I'm covering something
00:37:37.080 That I shouldn't have
00:37:37.960 And the reason why
00:37:39.400 Is because I don't really know myself
00:37:41.160 Properly as of yet
00:37:42.120 Hence why
00:37:42.760 If I am true to myself
00:37:43.960 I have no reason to lie to myself
00:37:45.560 Do you understand?
00:37:46.120 So yeah
00:37:47.560 What's the question?
00:37:48.120 Have I lied to myself?
00:37:49.080 How important is it to be honest yourself
00:37:52.360 With yourself
00:37:52.840 Are we not going to ask?
00:37:53.320 About past relationships
00:37:54.760 Oh okay
00:37:55.320 And have you ever lied to yourself?
00:37:57.320 Um
00:37:59.240 Obviously like we said
00:38:00.040 It is really honest
00:38:00.840 And really honest
00:38:01.800 Oh my god
00:38:02.520 Important
00:38:03.000 The drink
00:38:03.800 The Sprite
00:38:04.600 Fuck up
00:38:05.560 The Sprite
00:38:06.680 The face
00:38:09.320 No listen
00:38:09.960 It is really honest
00:38:10.920 The bubbles
00:38:11.000 Really honest
00:38:12.040 It's really
00:38:12.600 Oh my goodness
00:38:13.240 It's really important
00:38:14.040 To be honest with yourself
00:38:15.000 It is
00:38:15.400 Because at the end of the day
00:38:17.080 You're going to be stuck
00:38:17.800 With yourself for life
00:38:19.080 So you really
00:38:20.120 You need to
00:38:21.080 Know yourself
00:38:22.520 Inside and out
00:38:24.120 There's really people in this world
00:38:25.160 That actually believe their own lies
00:38:27.320 Oh yeah
00:38:27.880 I know someone that believes her
00:38:31.720 Go ahead
00:38:32.120 It's a story
00:38:33.080 This one's deep
00:38:34.760 But she
00:38:36.360 Never believes that she's in
00:38:37.720 Well she sometimes believes
00:38:38.840 That she's in the wrong
00:38:39.720 But you have to be on like a
00:38:41.240 Like a calm level
00:38:42.680 In order for her to see that
00:38:44.520 As many of you know
00:38:45.480 I was just banned on TikTok
00:38:48.120 And we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:38:50.760 On this platform
00:38:52.600 If you want to help
00:38:53.720 Please consider sending a super thanks below
00:38:56.840 Every donation helps
00:38:58.200 And it helps make what we do possible