JustPearlyThings - Modern Women BLAMED Each Other For TOXIC Relationships

00:00:00.000 Levels of toxicness and again, it's what you perceive the word toxic to mean

00:00:04.760 So I do think that toxic

00:00:08.160 Relationships and like just with anyone like friends, your partners and stuff

00:00:12.760 It's like really like promoted on social media. It is it is like the toxic relationship

00:00:18.840 Like toxic love like everyone and and what's his name blue face?

00:00:23.820 Yeah, yeah, that's why I don't understand why they get so much attention for that and it's like so unhealthy

00:00:30.060 They're probably both so depressed and unhappy. I feel like to be toxic you have to have a very strong head

00:00:36.060 Yeah, like for them to be toxic. They know what they're doing. It's like they don't it's not like they don't know what they're doing

00:00:41.580 It's like it's like it's calculated. They're doing it on purpose. From what I've seen

00:00:46.440 That's what it looks like. Yeah, I mean to be honest

00:00:48.880 I feel like with toxic relationships you get that adrenaline rush from like when things are good

00:00:53.800 And then when it goes like really bad you just think about the good times, which is why you stay with that

00:00:58.360 You're making excuses for yourself to stay and obviously it's so up and down like once it goes down

00:01:04.660 You're like, oh my god

00:01:05.440 I can't wait for it to like go back up again and everything to be good because you guys go through like really good

00:01:09.760 You cling on to that little bit of hope almost yeah good part or sometimes you're just used to it

00:01:15.360 This is your comfort zone now. Yeah

00:01:18.440 The cons will eventually

00:01:20.440 Outweigh the pose. I mean that's when you know how do you get used to it?

00:01:25.000 No, but some people are growing up in even like a toxic household like with toxic families

00:01:29.720 Like also like how someone's been raised has a big impact on like the type of men they go for women also like drama

00:01:36.440 Yeah, they do they do they love it

00:01:38.440 I mean, why don't women watch sports? That's camaraderie. We like the Kardashians 1.00

00:01:42.200 That's true. Oh my god. I love the Kardashians so much

00:01:46.760 Red flag, red flag

00:01:49.160 Don't do that. Kardashians live the life

00:01:53.800 Watch me in a year's time. I'm going to be sitting with Kim Kardashian

00:01:58.040 She's going to be, me and her are going to be

00:02:00.600 Manifestation

00:02:01.640 Opposite, me and her are going to be opposite each other working on you know Skims X 0.99

00:02:06.120 I've got a Covid line dropping soon as well

00:02:08.520 Join with my music so mad madness

00:02:11.400 Told you

00:02:12.200 I'm such an EastEnders fan so I can't even believe

00:02:14.040 You know what I like

00:02:16.360 EastEnders Christmas specials

00:02:17.800 Yeah, they're drama

00:02:18.600 EastEnders everyday drama

00:02:20.680 I used to do that

00:02:22.200 I used to watch EastEnders every single day

00:02:24.120 But then the storylines is just too dark for me

00:02:26.920 Like it's so negative

00:02:28.280 That to a point, you might be able to handle it

00:02:30.520 But like it got to a point where I could not

00:02:32.680 I could not anymore

00:02:33.640 But that is toxic

00:02:35.160 Actually question

00:02:36.840 What is toxics and where does it come from?

00:02:40.920 I think something that's not good for you

00:02:42.440 But you want it, you go for it anyway

00:02:44.200 But something that's genuinely like bad for your

00:02:46.920 Your mental health

00:02:47.960 And I think it's

00:02:49.080 And you do it anyway

00:02:49.880 And it's a long duration as well

00:02:51.480 But where does it stem from though?

00:02:53.880 Where does it stem from?

00:02:54.760 I think well toxic relationships stem from lack of boundaries

00:02:57.320 I'm talking about toxic

00:02:58.520 Not toxic relationships

00:02:59.640 There's two different

00:03:00.920 That's like toxic itself

00:03:02.280 What does it stem from?

00:03:02.920 Toxic

00:03:03.400 It's something harmful

00:03:04.760 Something dangerous

00:03:05.640 I mean people use that for food

00:03:10.200 It's like poison

00:03:11.000 Once you say

00:03:11.480 That's what it can lead to

00:03:13.480 It can like damage

00:03:14.680 And it's harmful to your mental health

00:03:16.120 And then it can

00:03:17.080 Jami leads to other things 0.63

00:03:19.240 Have you guys ever been labeled a toxic ex?

00:03:22.040 Like would your exes say that you're toxic?

00:03:24.040 Yes

00:03:24.600 Yes

00:03:25.240 Yeah

00:03:25.560 No I haven't

00:03:27.400 No

00:03:27.640 No

00:03:29.640 But I would say

00:03:31.240 I could be toxic if I choose to be toxic

00:03:34.040 Oh

00:03:34.440 Yeah

00:03:35.000 Boom

00:03:35.960 Yeah exactly that

00:03:37.240 That's the energy

00:03:37.880 Yeah

00:03:38.200 I agree with that

00:03:39.400 I agree with that

00:03:41.080 That's why I said 0.86

00:03:41.800 For you to be toxic 0.81

00:03:42.760 You have to have a strong head

00:03:44.120 And people know what they do when they be toxic

00:03:46.200 It's not like no

00:03:47.080 It's like a mind game

00:03:48.280 100% I agree

00:03:49.640 What do you think?

00:03:51.640 Have you ever been labeled a toxic ex?

00:03:53.400 Would your exes say you're toxic?

00:03:54.920 They would

00:03:55.800 They would say I'm toxic

00:03:56.840 No

00:03:57.160 Only because they're not as lit as me

00:03:58.760 That is why

00:03:59.480 I don't want to say I'm toxic

00:04:00.840 Because we're not going to talk about the whole liking and following that thing

00:04:05.800 Because I was in the past

00:04:07.240 That was 10 minutes ago

00:04:08.920 But yeah

00:04:09.640 I don't think I would be called toxic

00:04:11.320 How do you guys think past relationships shape future relationships?

00:04:19.080 You know the difference between lust and love

00:04:21.640 Oh my goodness

00:04:22.440 You know the difference

00:04:23.160 That is such a problem

00:04:23.800 I feel like if you're able to reflect

00:04:26.600 If you're able to reflect and not carry on the patterns that you had in your past relationship

00:04:31.720 100%

00:04:32.680 You need to be self-aware in that aspect

00:04:34.120 Yeah 100%

00:04:34.840 Like Erykah Badu said yeah

00:04:36.520 In that song Bag Lady 1.00

00:04:37.640 She's like pack light

00:04:39.080 Because if you bring all your emotional baggage

00:04:41.240 Yeah

00:04:41.880 Into your future relationships

00:04:43.080 They're never going to work

00:04:43.880 No one wants to deal with your baggage

00:04:45.240 Is she married now or no?

00:04:46.440 Erykah Badu

00:04:47.480 I think she's got kids

00:04:48.440 I don't know

00:04:48.840 She's got kids

00:04:49.400 She's got a kid

00:04:49.720 She does have kids

00:04:50.200 I don't know about marriage

00:04:52.200 I don't know

00:04:53.240 I'm not in the loop

00:04:53.880 Actually I met her once

00:04:55.160 Really?

00:04:56.200 Yeah

00:04:56.600 Wow

00:04:56.840 I love her

00:04:57.480 I didn't know who she was though

00:04:58.680 No way

00:04:59.880 Yeah she was cool though

00:05:01.160 I love her

00:05:01.800 She's sick

00:05:02.760 Do you guys think that the best predictor of future relationships is past relationships?

00:05:07.480 Yeah

00:05:07.800 Yeah

00:05:08.600 I don't think so

00:05:10.360 Because I feel like in life

00:05:12.280 Like if you go into a relationship

00:05:13.720 And you learn the lesson that it's taught you after you've broken up

00:05:18.600 Then no

00:05:19.800 But if you don't learn the lesson

00:05:21.880 Then the universe is just going to keep sending you the same person in a different body

00:05:25.080 And you're going to have to keep re-learning

00:05:26.520 Why do we say the universe is going to

00:05:29.160 You pick them

00:05:29.800 No

00:05:30.360 No

00:05:30.760 No

00:05:31.400 Because

00:05:31.800 Because

00:05:32.360 Hold on

00:05:33.400 Hold on

00:05:34.200 I'm adding that to my list

00:05:35.640 Wait wait wait wait wait

00:05:37.240 I'm adding that to my list of things like I want girls to stop saying the universe 1.00

00:05:40.760 The universe

00:05:41.400 But you know what some people really genuinely believe that

00:05:44.200 No you have to yes

00:05:45.080 The universe does

00:05:45.720 Because if not

00:05:46.920 If not why is it that the same person with the same character traits with the same habits with the same comes to you again and again

00:05:55.160 You need to learn the lesson

00:05:56.440 You need to learn the lesson

00:05:57.400 Until you learn the energy

00:05:58.520 I can break it down for you

00:06:00.520 Choices

00:06:01.000 Thank you

00:06:01.240 Yeah that's your preference

00:06:02.120 No I'm saying like

00:06:03.240 You either like toxic 0.99

00:06:05.080 You probably like toxic people and you're probably toxic 0.96

00:06:07.080 But at the same time 0.94

00:06:08.280 A lot of the time

00:06:09.240 You're the common denominator

00:06:10.520 I understand that actually

00:06:11.320 I understand that

00:06:12.040 So then girls will 1.00

00:06:13.320 Wait wait

00:06:13.720 So girls will take accountability off of them 1.00

00:06:16.120 And say it's the

00:06:16.760 It's and I'm not trying to pick on you

00:06:18.040 But it's like

00:06:18.760 They'll say the universe

00:06:20.120 And then it's like

00:06:21.000 It might not be the universe

00:06:22.200 It's probably you

00:06:23.080 But at the same time though

00:06:24.280 A lot of toxic relationships don't start off toxic

00:06:26.840 They start off like normal relationships

00:06:28.360 Yeah yeah yeah

00:06:28.920 And then they change

00:06:30.040 They change after the honeymoon phase

00:06:31.800 That's true

00:06:32.200 But what I would say is yeah

00:06:33.160 Poor choices

00:06:33.880 But it's because you haven't learned your lesson the first time

00:06:35.720 Yeah exactly

00:06:36.200 And there's only so many relationships you're going to go through

00:06:38.280 Before you need to look inwards and be like

00:06:39.640 Okay maybe I'm the problem

00:06:40.680 Yeah

00:06:41.080 And I

00:06:41.400 But self-reflection is hard you know

00:06:43.000 Yeah

00:06:43.560 It's hard to look at yourself

00:06:44.520 It may not

00:06:45.640 It may not

00:06:47.080 It might not start toxic

00:06:48.440 But then you probably do something that's toxic

00:06:51.080 Every relationship

00:06:52.040 Yeah no one's perfect

00:06:53.240 So

00:06:53.800 Actually relating to what you said

00:06:55.560 It makes sense

00:06:56.200 Because when you said environment

00:06:58.120 And um

00:06:59.880 How it relates

00:07:00.680 I feel like it makes sense

00:07:01.800 And when you said it's you

00:07:03.560 Environment and you

00:07:04.360 So it all depends on

00:07:05.480 Where you come from

00:07:06.360 Your upbringing

00:07:07.160 And what makes you who you are

00:07:09.880 So I feel like when you're in a past relationship

00:07:11.960 Can make your future relationship better

00:07:13.800 But how that makes it better

00:07:15.480 Is by you knowing yourself

00:07:16.520 You have to do self-reflection

00:07:17.720 You have to do self-reflection

00:07:18.840 You said self-reflection

00:07:19.960 If you don't reflect on yourself

00:07:21.800 Or if you don't know yourself

00:07:23.480 Or if you don't do better

00:07:24.840 Or if you continue to do the same thing

00:07:25.960 It's like

00:07:26.600 Whether you see and whether you like

00:07:27.800 Whether you do

00:07:28.520 That is what you're going to attract

00:07:29.720 Do any of you guys go to the gym

00:07:31.720 And you guys go to the gym

00:07:32.760 Yeah I guess sometimes I go

00:07:34.200 When I fall asleep

00:07:34.920 So if you if you're practicing squats

00:07:36.840 You get better at squatting right

00:07:38.680 So wouldn't you say the only way

00:07:40.120 To get better at being in a healthy relationship

00:07:42.040 Is to be in a healthy relationship

00:07:43.560 How would you know that?

00:07:44.200 I would think so

00:07:44.840 But also I think to be in a healthy relationship

00:07:47.000 You need to know what your boundaries are

00:07:48.760 And you need to like respect them

00:07:50.200 Like going back to boundaries again

00:07:51.240 Like if you have set boundaries

00:07:52.680 And you respect your own boundaries

00:07:54.520 And you have a level of self-respect for yourself

00:07:56.760 Then it sets the tone for other people

00:07:58.600 To come into your life and respect those boundaries

00:08:00.920 What kind of boundaries are helpful in a relationship?

00:08:03.560 I think a level of trust

00:08:05.640 Being able to give people space if they need it

00:08:08.200 Okay, trust, space

00:08:10.200 Not being like controlling or anything

00:08:12.120 Not being controlling, okay

00:08:13.960 Yeah I mean everyone's boundaries are kind of different

00:08:15.960 It kind of depends on the person

00:08:17.800 And I think it also depends on that

00:08:19.640 You've got to be independent as a woman

00:08:21.720 And be okay with being on your own

00:08:23.080 Like you need to learn to love yourself

00:08:24.920 If co-dependency is a real issue

00:08:26.840 If he leaves, it's like okay it's cool

00:08:28.600 He can leave

00:08:29.480 You know what I mean?

00:08:30.280 I've got a lot of girls rely 1.00

00:08:31.400 A lot of guys, a lot of girls depend

00:08:33.400 That's when it starts messing up

00:08:34.520 Do you know anyone that's been married for 30 plus years?

00:08:37.240 Yeah

00:08:37.800 20 plus years, not 20

00:08:39.160 20 plus years

00:08:40.600 Do you feel like that's the woman's mentality 0.99

00:08:42.760 Is I need a lot of boundaries

00:08:44.120 And I need to not need him?

00:08:46.680 I don't think it's about not needing the person

00:08:48.840 But I think there's a fine line between like

00:08:51.480 Having your own life

00:08:53.320 And then like co-dependency

00:08:55.320 Like some girls they make their relationship their whole life 1.00

00:08:59.240 And then they break up with their partner

00:09:01.240 And they're lost

00:09:01.720 They don't have no friends anymore

00:09:02.840 Because they drop out all their friends

00:09:04.440 Like they don't know themselves

00:09:06.040 They lose their whole personality

00:09:07.400 Because they've made their whole life their relationship

00:09:10.600 And you need to remember to have a laptop out of that

00:09:13.240 I'm a couple years older than you

00:09:15.000 And usually those girls actually end up getting into a relationship 1.00

00:09:18.360 And starting a family young

00:09:20.520 So it's just like instead of like you guys might have different skills

00:09:23.400 Like you're good at singing

00:09:24.200 You're good at that

00:09:24.840 Those girls just have relationship skills 1.00

00:09:27.160 So they just usually get into another relationship

00:09:29.880 Yeah to be fair

00:09:30.680 I mean they're heartbroken for a bit

00:09:32.200 But then they they find another guy

00:09:33.720 Because she proved she could be a good girlfriend to that one 0.96

00:09:36.200 So that she goes into another

00:09:37.240 Yeah some people are just relationship people I think

00:09:39.960 They're just made to like be in a relationship

00:09:41.960 Some people have the goals of like having a family young

00:09:44.520 Oh they're just naive

00:09:45.320 They just get taken advantage of

00:09:47.720 Yeah

00:09:48.520 There's a very very like fine line

00:09:51.080 There's a very very fine line between that I think

00:09:53.320 Because yeah there's a lot of girls 1.00

00:09:54.840 There is a fine line

00:09:55.480 They'll just make a man their whole life 1.00

00:09:57.000 Because it gives them validation

00:09:58.600 Because they don't love themselves

00:10:00.120 Yeah

00:10:00.760 And when you don't love yourself like I know it's cliche

00:10:03.160 But like how can you expect someone to love you properly

00:10:04.920 If you don't love and respect yourself

00:10:07.080 How would you expect them to love you?

00:10:09.000 Yeah you need to set the tone for them

00:10:10.840 You know if you show them that you don't respect yourself

00:10:13.480 And you don't love yourself

00:10:14.680 Then how are they going to do

00:10:15.800 How are they going to love you and respect you?

00:10:17.800 So how do you show them that?

00:10:19.560 I just I always hear these terms with girls 0.94

00:10:21.560 And I just it's always so broad

00:10:22.920 Don't give them too many chances

00:10:24.360 I think you know

00:10:25.080 I mean

00:10:25.560 You know like

00:10:26.520 If someone messes up

00:10:27.880 Yeah don't give them too many chances

00:10:29.400 Okay do you think the 30 year marriage

00:10:31.480 20 year marriage

00:10:33.560 The longest marriage you know

00:10:35.480 Do you think the woman's mentality was 0.99

00:10:36.920 Don't give him too many chances?

00:10:38.280 No

00:10:39.400 No

00:10:39.720 I'm just I'm talking about successful outcomes

00:10:42.360 So if we look at people with with good outcomes

00:10:44.840 Because we'd all agree

00:10:45.960 Long marriage is better than breaking up right?

00:10:49.160 Yeah

00:10:49.640 Okay

00:10:50.200 But I'm talking I'm talking about like the dating

00:10:52.600 Like when you're dating before you get into it

00:10:54.040 Because like I said I haven't actually been in a proper relationship

00:10:56.440 So I can only go with experience from dating

00:10:58.680 Do you know what I'm going to say?

00:10:59.240 I know these girls think some of you have been in relationships 1.00

00:11:01.320 Oh no

00:11:01.720 No

00:11:03.240 But like I haven't

00:11:04.520 So yeah

00:11:05.400 But I feel like you have to make sure

00:11:07.000 What was the question again?

00:11:09.080 Do you think that

00:11:11.000 Do you think that the mentality of cut a guy off quick

00:11:14.120 It was good for a long-term relationship

00:11:16.040 Don't give him too many chances?

00:11:17.080 If he's cheating

00:11:19.000 Then yeah

00:11:19.560 You've got it because he will most likely do it again

00:11:21.480 Why do we always go to like the worst case scenario?

00:11:24.520 I think

00:11:25.240 I think

00:11:26.120 Because of females 1.00

00:11:27.320 In the beginning

00:11:28.520 I think if someone

00:11:30.120 Like if you express that you don't like how someone's treating you

00:11:33.160 And then they continue to treat you like that

00:11:35.400 And then you still take them back

00:11:37.320 That's unhealthy

00:11:38.200 That's not you not respecting your boundaries

00:11:39.800 Because you don't like the way you're being treated

00:11:41.240 But you're going to stay there because you like him

00:11:43.880 Or you think that he likes you because he does nasty things to you

00:11:47.480 And then he might buy you some flowers afterwards and be like

00:11:49.080 Oh, I'm so sorry

00:11:49.800 But then he does it again

00:11:51.480 Like

00:11:52.680 That's unhealthy

00:11:53.400 Do you know what I mean?

00:11:54.520 It's a space of experience, right?

00:11:56.120 That's not good

00:11:56.920 But like if you're in a long-term marriage

00:11:59.160 Or you're in a relationship

00:12:00.200 And you have a few issues

00:12:01.080 That you don't

00:12:01.720 You don't like agree on certain things

00:12:03.560 Those things can easily be resolved with good communication

00:12:07.880 Yeah, I mean

00:12:08.360 I agree with you that you should cut people off 0.65

00:12:10.600 That aren't married 0.98

00:12:11.480 If you want to be married that aren't marriage-minded quick

00:12:14.680 But I think sometimes like as women

00:12:16.840 We always jump to like the worst-case scenario

00:12:18.760 It's either cheating

00:12:19.640 I only know this

00:12:20.760 I've done this show so many times

00:12:23.160 We have fantasies

00:12:24.120 It's always cheating

00:12:25.000 I'm starting to get better at that

00:12:26.040 I'm starting to get better

00:12:27.000 Before I used to always think of the worst-case scenario

00:12:29.160 But now I'm like

00:12:30.680 I'm calming down a little bit

00:12:32.120 Didn't you just say cheating?

00:12:33.320 No, but no

00:12:34.120 I'm taking notes

00:12:35.080 As an example

00:12:35.800 As an example

00:12:36.520 As an example

00:12:37.080 I think sometimes you just got to go with the flow

00:12:39.640 Yeah, literally

00:12:40.200 You do

00:12:40.760 You can't think too much into it

00:12:42.360 Obviously if you're not being treated right

00:12:43.720 Then obviously he's got to go

00:12:44.920 But

00:12:45.080 Yeah

00:12:46.120 100%

00:12:46.840 It's as simple as that

00:12:48.200 Okay

00:12:50.120 Can a person change and no longer be considered a toxic ex?

00:12:53.640 Yes

00:12:54.200 100%

00:12:54.920 I think they can change when they look inwards

00:12:57.640 Okay

00:12:57.960 What do you think?

00:12:58.520 Um, no

00:13:01.400 What?

00:13:01.880 You don't think people can change?

00:13:03.080 No

00:13:04.920 Depending on how long you're trying to get them to change

00:13:09.640 Depending on how long you have

00:13:11.560 No, but you know what it is

00:13:12.360 A man or a woman 1.00

00:13:13.640 Anyone will only change when they're ready to change

00:13:15.400 Yeah, you can't ever force them

00:13:16.680 You can't force them to change

00:13:17.640 Because they're never

00:13:18.600 They're never going to change for you

00:13:19.800 Like if you stay with a man hoping that he will change 0.92

00:13:21.640 He's not going to change for you

00:13:22.920 You can influence them

00:13:24.360 It's got to be genuine as well

00:13:25.720 It's got to be a genuine change

00:13:27.320 Yeah

00:13:27.720 Like it's got to last

00:13:29.160 And don't forget like sometimes

00:13:30.840 You know guys I'm sure go through stuff as well

00:13:33.240 Like certain triggers might trigger them to like

00:13:36.120 Certain toxic

00:13:37.000 Not toxic but

00:13:37.880 Attributes to like

00:13:39.160 You know come back that aren't healthy

00:13:41.640 So that needs to be taken into account as well

00:13:43.800 When he makes that change

00:13:44.760 That has he completely like

00:13:46.840 Looked within himself

00:13:47.960 That we keep saying

00:13:48.840 And like

00:13:49.160 What about her?

00:13:50.360 It's just interesting

00:13:51.960 Whenever I say toxic ex

00:13:53.160 We always say men 1.00

00:13:53.800 What about her?

00:13:55.720 I think it's because we're all kind of like

00:13:57.320 Oh we've all been in relationships with men

00:14:01.720 Yeah

00:14:02.040 But like a toxic girl you know 1.00

00:14:03.400 Because you said you knew a lot of toxic girls 1.00

00:14:05.320 Or you've seen that situation

00:14:06.280 I don't think I've really been on toxic relationships

00:14:07.880 And I've seen like toxic relationships

00:14:09.400 Where the woman is like the aggressor 1.00

00:14:11.000 Or like the toxic person

00:14:12.520 And did she change?

00:14:14.680 I don't know her well enough to know that

00:14:16.360 So I can't really speak on it

00:14:18.200 But yeah people

00:14:20.120 Some people change

00:14:20.840 But you know what it is again

00:14:21.720 Like self-reflection

00:14:22.840 It is really hard to do

00:14:24.200 When you have to look inwards

00:14:25.160 And look at yourself on your own flaws

00:14:26.920 A lot of people would rather ignore that

00:14:28.760 Because ignorance is bliss

00:14:30.840 Someone in the chat said

00:14:31.880 People only change

00:14:33.000 When the reality of their life

00:14:34.600 Convinces them to make a change

00:14:36.280 Yeah that's true

00:14:38.200 Yeah

00:14:38.680 Big situations happen

00:14:39.960 All of a sudden that would just

00:14:40.760 It's so yeah

00:14:41.560 It's like everything

00:14:43.160 I feel like a lot of people have to hit rock bottom

00:14:45.400 For them to realize

00:14:46.280 Okay I need to change this

00:14:47.480 I need to like

00:14:48.440 That's true

00:14:49.000 It's very very true

00:14:50.040 Yeah

00:14:50.200 That is true

00:14:51.080 One time I was dating a guy that my dad didn't like

00:14:54.760 And I said

00:14:56.200 I said dad do people change

00:14:57.880 That was a couple of years ago

00:14:59.800 And he looks at me and he says yes

00:15:02.760 They get worse over time

00:15:03.880 So any truth that you see

00:15:06.120 Any truth that you see now

00:15:08.120 It's going to be worse in 10 years

00:15:09.720 So we should choose carefully

00:15:11.240 Because it's not going to get better

00:15:15.080 No it's true though

00:15:15.800 Because it would just get under your skin more

00:15:18.040 As the time goes on

00:15:18.920 If you don't like something

00:15:19.720 You're not vocal about it from the beginning

00:15:21.240 Like it's going to

00:15:21.960 How do you expect it to change

00:15:23.000 It's going to dwell on your mind

00:15:23.960 And you're going to be like

00:15:24.920 Yeah

00:15:25.240 I feel like

00:15:25.880 That's how you get the ick

00:15:26.760 I feel like you can't fix a person

00:15:28.520 A person can't only fix themselves

00:15:30.120 And for them to fix themselves

00:15:31.240 They have to make countless mistakes

00:15:32.680 In order for them to realise

00:15:33.560 Yo whoa what am I doing

00:15:35.240 That's it

00:15:35.720 A hundred percent

00:15:37.320 I agree with that

00:15:38.040 And that includes

00:15:39.000 Sorry sorry

00:15:39.640 That includes going back to the triggers

00:15:41.080 You were talking about

00:15:41.960 Because without those triggers

00:15:43.720 How would you know that

00:15:44.760 You're ready for change

00:15:45.800 Or you're ready to change

00:15:47.880 You know

00:15:48.200 Okay

00:15:48.760 I think a lot of people can like

00:15:51.560 Base their like toxicity

00:15:53.400 Off like a bad upbringing and stuff

00:15:55.240 But you know what

00:15:55.960 You get to a certain age

00:15:57.000 Where you need to be held accountable

00:15:58.440 For like your behaviours and stuff

00:16:00.040 Yeah

00:16:00.280 Not necessarily

00:16:00.840 And you can't blame it

00:16:01.960 You can't blame it on your childhood and stuff

00:16:04.280 Because at the end of the day

00:16:05.400 Like you can see someone

00:16:06.360 Who's got like grown up with like

00:16:08.120 Alcoholic parents

00:16:09.240 I actually saw

00:16:10.040 Complete opposite

00:16:10.440 I saw a post

00:16:11.240 And it was like twins

00:16:12.200 And they grew up in a household

00:16:13.960 With like two alcoholic parents

00:16:16.040 And one of them became

00:16:17.560 A complete alcoholic

00:16:18.520 Just like his parents

00:16:19.320 And the other one

00:16:19.880 Fixed his whole life

00:16:20.600 Had a successful business and stuff

00:16:22.280 You know

00:16:22.600 Like if you've been given cards

00:16:24.120 But it's just like

00:16:25.560 It depends what you want to do

00:16:26.600 Like you can either learn from that

00:16:27.560 And be like

00:16:27.880 Okay I don't want to be like that

00:16:29.080 I'm going to make a change

00:16:30.280 So I'm not that kind of person

00:16:32.120 Or you can just be like

00:16:33.000 Oh I'm like that

00:16:33.640 Because my parents were like that

00:16:34.920 I'm like this

00:16:35.480 Because I grew up in a bad environment

00:16:37.000 And this explains everything

00:16:38.520 Don't you think that's because of mindset

00:16:39.960 It's the way you think

00:16:41.560 So why did you say no?

00:16:43.080 The reason why I said not necessarily

00:16:44.440 Was because like she just said

00:16:46.120 The first twin

00:16:47.560 Decided to be more of an alcoholic

00:16:49.640 And the second twin

00:16:51.000 Decided to make a change of his life

00:16:53.160 And they are two different people

00:16:54.520 But still one person

00:16:55.720 Still in the same household

00:16:57.240 But as you just said

00:16:58.680 Mindset

00:16:59.640 What depends on who you're around with

00:17:01.720 Yes it is a decision

00:17:02.840 But at the same time

00:17:04.440 You can't do it by yourself

00:17:05.880 You need people to help you

00:17:07.320 A hundred percent

00:17:08.200 Don't you get to choose the people in your life?

00:17:10.040 Yeah you do

00:17:10.760 But at the same time

00:17:12.040 Over the age of 18 0.77

00:17:12.920 You guys have all come across really bad

00:17:15.000 I'm pretty sure you guys have all come across really bad people

00:17:17.160 But you didn't end up being like them

00:17:18.440 You chose with them

00:17:19.400 Yeah

00:17:19.640 But you're not them

00:17:20.520 But at the same time you like realise like okay

00:17:23.560 I don't want to be like this

00:17:24.600 So you're not going to associate yourself with people that don't

00:17:27.000 Again it's like what you said

00:17:28.440 Having boundaries

00:17:30.360 What you accept into your life

00:17:32.040 Yeah a hundred percent

00:17:33.240 Do you know what I mean?

00:17:33.720 The same way we don't have the same body

00:17:35.080 Is the same way we don't have the same mindset

00:17:36.920 No a hundred percent

00:17:37.720 A mindset is something that you learn like over time

00:17:39.880 Yeah

00:17:40.360 And everyone's way of learning is different

00:17:41.880 Like the same way school isn't for everyone

00:17:43.560 It's the same way the way you take education differently

00:17:45.640 Yeah

00:17:46.040 Yeah

00:17:46.520 So you can't be in a person when they don't change their lives

00:17:49.400 But at the same time like

00:17:51.880 You can't sit there and blame everything else

00:17:54.360 For the way your life's turned out

00:17:55.800 Because everyone has a sob story 1.00

00:17:58.520 Like everyone goes through shit yeah 0.99

00:18:00.120 But it just needs one person 0.99

00:18:01.080 It's about how you deal with it

00:18:03.640 You know if you don't want to be in that situation

00:18:05.400 Then you work towards getting yourself out of that situation

00:18:08.040 You know if you sit there and you sulk

00:18:09.400 And you're like oh I'm in this situation

00:18:10.600 And you don't make no change

00:18:12.120 Like how do you expect to grow how do you expect yourself to change

00:18:15.880 Yeah exactly

00:18:16.680 You have to become the change and take actions towards that change

00:18:20.360 Like thinking and all of that is nothing without action

00:18:23.080 You gotta continue consistently execute it

00:18:26.520 That's really important

00:18:27.400 It is

00:18:29.480 I have a question for you guys

00:18:31.240 Do you think that people who constantly label their exes as toxic

00:18:34.920 Are looking for an excuse for the failed relationship

00:18:37.880 Yes

00:18:38.120 Yes a hundred percent

00:18:39.240 Yes

00:18:40.600 Yes

00:18:41.240 I would say yes as well

00:18:42.200 Yeah

00:18:43.560 Because it gets to a point again like you need to look inwards

00:18:45.640 If all of your relationships were toxic

00:18:47.400 And the other person was always the bad person

00:18:49.640 It's a bit suspicious

00:18:50.680 Look again love

00:18:51.400 Look again

00:18:51.880 I think I'm just thinking now actually that

00:18:54.920 Going back into whether I'm toxic

00:18:56.360 I've just realised that I've never been a toxic one

00:18:59.800 Like I have never

00:19:00.360 You've never

00:19:01.000 You've never

00:19:01.400 I've never

00:19:02.040 I've realised always the other person

00:19:03.400 I've been the sweet

00:19:04.600 The sweet pie

00:19:06.440 Do you feel like

00:19:07.080 Okay wait

00:19:07.560 I'm gonna

00:19:10.680 Were you

00:19:11.240 Were you

00:19:11.800 Were you going through your ex's likes

00:19:15.560 Were you

00:19:16.120 No

00:19:16.600 I don't remember

00:19:17.400 Were you looking at who he followed

00:19:20.600 Yes

00:19:20.920 But

00:19:21.400 But

00:19:21.480 No that's not toxic

00:19:23.560 That's not toxic

00:19:24.280 That's seeing if I can trust him or not

00:19:25.400 Guys

00:19:25.640 One in the chat

00:19:26.440 One in the chat if that's toxic

00:19:27.960 One in the chat

00:19:29.400 That's just one person out of how many people in the world

00:19:31.560 At the end of the day

00:19:32.520 We let people in the comments

00:19:33.800 No you said you said you said never

00:19:35.880 You said you were never toxic

00:19:37.480 But you know what it is

00:19:38.280 I feel like

00:19:39.160 A lot of people

00:19:40.680 My age

00:19:41.160 Not even my age

00:19:42.120 I meet a lot of girls 0.52

00:19:43.000 That they say the same thing

00:19:44.280 Obviously we spoke about already

00:19:45.880 We've covered it already

00:19:46.600 About relationship

00:19:47.320 That's different

00:19:47.880 You're in and there for trust

00:19:49.000 Yeah

00:19:49.480 But when you're like dating

00:19:51.000 And you're getting to know a person

00:19:52.440 I think you should be curious to see

00:19:53.800 Whether you can trust them or not

00:19:54.920 It's out of curiosity

00:19:56.040 You don't do it all the time

00:19:57.080 How can you trust someone

00:19:58.120 By looking at their Instagram followers

00:19:59.640 No no but

00:20:01.160 What do you mean

00:20:01.960 Because you said oh

00:20:02.840 You checked the followers to see if you can trust them

00:20:04.840 But how is checking the followers

00:20:06.200 Seeing you can trust them

00:20:06.920 No but you're just curious to see

00:20:07.880 What type of girls he follows 0.94

00:20:09.400 Whether the sexual discipline is there or not

00:20:11.240 Question is how long do you have to be curious for

00:20:16.840 Are you able to see what type of corn a guy watches

00:20:20.360 What?

00:20:21.320 Yes

00:20:21.880 You can't

00:20:22.440 Yes

00:20:22.840 No I'm saying

00:20:23.720 I'm saying

00:20:24.760 I can't say

00:20:25.560 I can't say

00:20:26.440 It's on YouTube

00:20:27.160 Oh

00:20:27.640 Oh

00:20:28.200 Oh

00:20:28.840 Did you tell them the trigger words?

00:20:30.120 Yeah

00:20:30.440 Yeah

00:20:33.720 No no

00:20:34.280 That's

00:20:34.680 I'm not interested in that

00:20:35.960 To me it's just like

00:20:36.920 I don't know it's Instagram

00:20:37.960 Guys look

00:20:38.600 That's what they do

00:20:39.240 Yeah

00:20:39.640 Like it's general

00:20:40.680 In general

00:20:41.240 Like if it's a pretty girl 0.99

00:20:42.200 Like you're going to appreciate the beauty

00:20:43.320 You're going to like the photo

00:20:44.280 Like the same way

00:20:45.000 It's like

00:20:45.480 If you see a pretty girl on the street 0.66

00:20:46.840 You're going to look

00:20:47.480 I don't know about you

00:20:48.120 But like whenever I go

00:20:49.000 With a big bar walk past

00:20:50.040 I always look

00:20:50.600 What?

00:20:52.040 You just got to understand

00:20:53.320 Yeah

00:20:53.960 In a generation that we're living in 0.76

00:20:55.320 This is actually normal

00:20:57.080 Like prostitution is normal

00:20:59.240 Escort is normal

00:21:00.920 See

00:21:01.240 So what would you guys do?

00:21:02.200 Wait wait wait wait wait

00:21:05.240 It's normal 1.00

00:21:05.960 Prostitute 1.00

00:21:06.600 Do you know a lot of prostitutes? 1.00

00:21:08.680 From what I've seen on social media 0.98

00:21:10.360 Oh on social media

00:21:11.240 Okay okay

00:21:11.720 Yes

00:21:12.120 It's a norm

00:21:13.880 I was like

00:21:14.760 In your school

00:21:15.560 Did you know any?

00:21:16.680 No

00:21:17.080 No

00:21:17.400 No

00:21:17.560 Just

00:21:17.720 I think it's definitely

00:21:20.040 Blown up in popularity

00:21:21.240 Not that it's blown up in popularity

00:21:22.680 But it's become more normalized

00:21:24.120 Even though it was like

00:21:25.160 It's the oldest

00:21:26.360 Like

00:21:27.320 Way of making money for a woman 1.00

00:21:28.760 Like in

00:21:29.720 The world

00:21:30.200 Yeah

00:21:30.520 But like

00:21:31.960 Yeah I think

00:21:32.440 It makes money

00:21:33.000 I do this

00:21:33.400 It's definitely like

00:21:34.760 Blown up in popularity

00:21:35.720 And it's more like

00:21:36.360 In your face

00:21:36.920 Like yeah

00:21:37.400 And the reason why it's normal

00:21:38.520 Is because no one has any morals

00:21:40.520 No

00:21:40.840 Morals does not exist

00:21:42.280 No more

00:21:42.920 With me it does

00:21:44.200 I'm talking for myself

00:21:45.720 That it does

00:21:46.200 But not about you guys

00:21:47.000 But morals does not exist

00:21:48.840 Morals don't exist 1.00

00:21:49.880 I think everyone's morals are different

00:21:53.000 Can I ask a question?

00:21:53.800 Because I actually want some advice here

00:21:55.320 You're saying for society

00:21:56.600 Yeah

00:21:56.920 Okay

00:21:57.160 Listen listen

00:21:58.200 I want some advice here

00:21:59.160 What would you guys do

00:22:00.280 Not advice not for me

00:22:01.160 But for

00:22:01.560 What would you guys do

00:22:03.640 If

00:22:04.120 If

00:22:04.680 Um

00:22:05.000 He was in the dms

00:22:06.120 Of the girls

00:22:06.840 He was liking

00:22:07.640 And

00:22:08.360 Following

00:22:10.280 Um

00:22:11.320 Well I think that's a bit

00:22:12.360 Why are you together?

00:22:13.320 I think that's a bit different

00:22:14.520 I mean to be honest

00:22:15.160 If you're not together

00:22:15.800 You're not together

00:22:16.360 He has the absolute freedom

00:22:17.560 To do whatever he wishes

00:22:19.160 Until you decide

00:22:20.120 That you guys are both exclusive

00:22:21.480 Or you're in a relationship

00:22:22.520 I know a lot of guys

00:22:23.400 That will

00:22:23.960 You know when you react

00:22:25.320 With the love heart eyes

00:22:28.040 You'll pout into the dms

00:22:29.720 Like that

00:22:30.200 I know a lot of guys

00:22:30.920 That when they've got a goal

00:22:32.680 What do we think about

00:22:33.480 Is that not dms?

00:22:34.360 I don't think that's really

00:22:35.320 Appropriate

00:22:35.960 Yeah

00:22:37.720 I don't think it's appropriate

00:22:39.080 But like if you just like

00:22:40.280 A photo

00:22:41.000 Like obviously when you send

00:22:42.120 Like the heart eyes to the dm

00:22:43.400 It's like basically

00:22:44.040 You're starting a conversation

00:22:44.920 What if it's a really

00:22:45.880 Revealing photo?

00:22:46.920 Sheesh that's even worse no?

00:22:49.240 Yeah that is worse

00:22:51.160 See

00:22:51.800 You guys are contradicting

00:22:53.400 Exactly what you were saying before

00:22:55.560 I mean to me

00:22:56.520 But to me

00:22:57.080 My question

00:22:57.880 But my question is

00:22:59.880 How do you know that?

00:23:01.240 And that's what I'm saying

00:23:02.120 Like

00:23:02.360 But you should be cool

00:23:03.320 You should be aware

00:23:04.120 Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

00:23:05.560 So I'm saying

00:23:06.200 How do you know that?

00:23:07.480 So if you know that information

00:23:09.320 You're probably going through his likes

00:23:10.840 You're going through his following

00:23:11.800 And you're going through his phone

00:23:12.600 No but let's say you follow

00:23:13.160 Some of my girls

00:23:13.880 So wait wait wait wait wait wait

00:23:15.960 So my whole point

00:23:17.240 Is that if you know all that information

00:23:18.760 You're probably toxic 1.00

00:23:19.800 Because you're probably all over his shit 1.00

00:23:21.720 That's actually true 1.00

00:23:22.680 It's true

00:23:23.160 I'm not saying that it's okay for him to do that

00:23:25.880 Yeah

00:23:26.360 But my whole point

00:23:27.480 Is like a lot of

00:23:28.280 Wait wait

00:23:29.720 My whole point is

00:23:30.920 A lot of times girls will talk about how toxic he is

00:23:34.120 But it's like

00:23:34.520 How did you find out that information? 0.99

00:23:36.120 You're toxic too

00:23:37.320 Because you've probably had some trauma in the past 0.63

00:23:39.480 Or something that happened in the past

00:23:40.760 That makes you want to do it in the future

00:23:42.440 So even if it's a good guy

00:23:44.200 And you go into a relationship

00:23:45.480 You're not going in in good faith 1.00

00:23:47.240 And you're going through all his shit 0.98

00:23:48.600 Before he's even done anything 0.99

00:23:49.880 Before you're even dating

00:23:51.160 No yeah

00:23:53.400 It depends on the length

00:23:55.080 That girl is going to 1.00

00:23:56.120 Does it make sense?

00:23:56.680 There's different levels

00:23:57.880 If it's like a one-time thing

00:23:59.480 Cool

00:23:59.960 If it's constantly

00:24:01.480 Then you've got to lock it off

00:24:02.440 But it's still my question

00:24:04.040 How do you know?

00:24:05.960 What do you mean?

00:24:06.440 Because you're cute

00:24:07.240 Like

00:24:07.720 Do you know what I mean?

00:24:08.280 You'll see it

00:24:08.920 That's why I'm scrolling on Instagram

00:24:09.880 I'll see

00:24:10.200 You'll see the likes there anyway

00:24:11.560 I was going to say

00:24:12.120 We like by

00:24:12.840 No but with the DMs and stuff

00:24:14.760 With the DMs

00:24:15.400 You'd obviously have to log into their Instagram

00:24:17.080 Or go on their phone to see it

00:24:17.880 Oh no I've never been in that position

00:24:18.840 That's not personal experience

00:24:20.120 I've never done that

00:24:21.000 You being intentionally curious

00:24:22.760 To know who he's like

00:24:23.720 And who he's talking to

00:24:24.680 That's already toxic in itself

00:24:26.040 How is that toxic?

00:24:27.400 Because how does it make you feel

00:24:28.680 When you do that?

00:24:29.800 How is that toxic though?

00:24:30.920 But how does it make you feel 1.00

00:24:31.960 When it makes you feel like shit 0.99

00:24:33.480 Because you're looking for problems 0.99

00:24:36.040 If you're going through his likes

00:24:38.200 I agree with that

00:24:39.320 And the crazy thing is

00:24:40.280 But you need to know the truth

00:24:41.320 What y'all do

00:24:43.480 Y'all go through the likes

00:24:45.000 You'll go through the following

00:24:46.360 And instead of just ending it

00:24:47.720 No you start a fight

00:24:48.680 And you don't break up with him

00:24:49.880 So it's like

00:24:50.280 Why did you even go through it to begin with?

00:24:52.360 Victor

00:24:52.760 I confirmed this comment

00:24:54.200 You may as well have just not looked at it

00:24:57.320 And just lived your life

00:24:58.600 Because if you're looking for something

00:24:59.800 And you find it

00:25:00.360 What's going to happen now?

00:25:01.240 Okay so now you found it

00:25:02.440 And that's what I say

00:25:03.080 Like I've just found that the girls 1.00

00:25:04.440 That do that stuff

00:25:05.240 They just want the drama

00:25:06.520 And the fight

00:25:07.240 And to fight

00:25:08.040 And then get back together

00:25:09.080 And not break up

00:25:10.280 And it's like

00:25:11.480 You know

00:25:12.440 If she really saw it

00:25:13.800 And really ended it

00:25:14.600 That would be one thing

00:25:15.400 But they never do

00:25:18.840 A little bit on wanting the drama

00:25:20.680 And wanting the fight

00:25:21.240 I don't think it's intentionally

00:25:22.760 I want to fight

00:25:23.800 I want to find this drama

00:25:25.000 It's more of

00:25:25.800 Can I trust you?

00:25:26.440 Can I trust you?

00:25:27.320 That's trauma

00:25:28.280 I think

00:25:28.600 Yeah I think it's a bit of insecurity there

00:25:30.520 Because at the end of the day

00:25:31.480 Like why would you get into a relationship

00:25:33.080 With someone you don't trust?

00:25:34.280 Yeah

00:25:34.680 It doesn't make any sense to me

00:25:35.960 Do you even like who you're with?

00:25:37.400 Like

00:25:37.880 Yeah

00:25:38.200 Like if you're constantly

00:25:39.080 If you're in a relationship

00:25:39.880 And you're constantly trying to find out

00:25:41.160 If he's doing something

00:25:42.040 You clearly don't trust him

00:25:43.000 So you shouldn't be with him

00:25:43.960 So you shouldn't

00:25:44.280 You know

00:25:44.920 Someone can break your trust after a while

00:25:47.080 Yeah of course

00:25:47.720 Yeah someone can break your trust

00:25:48.600 Yeah trust takes a long time

00:25:49.960 Someone can break your trust over a long time

00:25:52.120 But if you don't trust someone

00:25:53.720 Like and you're not willing to trust them

00:25:55.160 But you know you can trust someone

00:25:56.360 And end up not trusting them

00:25:57.880 And that's them breaking a trust

00:25:59.080 That you thought that you

00:26:00.120 Of course

00:26:00.520 But I think a relationship is

00:26:02.280 The foundation of a relationship

00:26:03.720 Is trust

00:26:04.840 Is trust

00:26:05.400 You haven't got a healthy relationship

00:26:07.080 If you don't trust each other

00:26:08.440 Yeah yeah yeah

00:26:09.160 I just think it's healthier

00:26:10.280 Like okay if it comes to you

00:26:11.880 Fine

00:26:12.440 Yeah

00:26:13.000 But it's like if you're out

00:26:14.040 Looking for problems

00:26:15.240 Like you're toxic

00:26:16.040 Yeah

00:26:16.600 Yeah you can't

00:26:17.320 At the end of the day

00:26:18.040 Ignorance is bliss

00:26:19.160 Yeah

00:26:19.400 So like if something's going on

00:26:21.480 Behind closed doors

00:26:22.200 And you're not aware of it

00:26:23.160 And he's keeping it on the down low

00:26:24.520 And like you don't know nothing

00:26:25.640 Like it can't hurt you

00:26:27.000 Yeah

00:26:27.320 And you think that's okay

00:26:28.360 No I don't think it's okay

00:26:29.640 Of course I was looking at all

00:26:31.720 No I don't think it's okay

00:26:32.920 Some girls are okay with that 1.00

00:26:34.040 You know they're like

00:26:34.440 What you don't know can't hurt you

00:26:35.640 And I don't agree with that

00:26:36.360 Staging

00:26:36.680 No but the thing is

00:26:37.480 It's like cool

00:26:38.680 If you find something suspicious

00:26:39.960 And you don't trust them

00:26:40.680 And something does come to you

00:26:41.720 Then fair enough

00:26:42.440 But if you go out looking for it

00:26:43.800 It's like you're deliberately looking

00:26:45.720 For something to hurt you

00:26:46.840 Yeah

00:26:47.240 Yeah yeah yeah

00:26:47.880 You could literally call it a form of self-harm

00:26:49.800 What's your question?

00:26:50.840 But do you think that stems from trauma?

00:26:52.040 Yeah no I think it's ours

00:26:53.800 I think it does

00:26:54.360 Oh my gosh

00:26:54.840 Trauma is going to war

00:26:56.120 Not your ex-boyfriend shooting on you

00:26:59.720 Like oh great

00:27:00.520 What did you say?

00:27:01.240 How does that

00:27:02.280 I understand what you're trying to say

00:27:03.560 I'm not disagreeing

00:27:04.600 I'm not agreeing

00:27:05.320 But it's that how does that cause problems within yourself

00:27:09.240 When that is already a problem

00:27:10.920 Which you now just found

00:27:13.160 Well because at the end of the day

00:27:14.360 If you're if you go out looking for the problem

00:27:16.600 You're talking about the likes on Instagram

00:27:18.040 Oh the likes on Instagram

00:27:19.400 I mean to be honest

00:27:20.120 Like if you're not in a relationship

00:27:21.400 Yeah

00:27:21.880 Even if you're in a relationship

00:27:22.840 I don't think it's a problem

00:27:23.640 If you like a girl's picture 0.75

00:27:24.520 I find it a problem

00:27:25.320 When you start DMing them

00:27:26.360 And trying to contact them

00:27:27.160 And meet up with them

00:27:28.200 That is the issue

00:27:29.800 But at the end of the day

00:27:30.600 Like if you if you don't trust someone

00:27:32.120 Then you should genuinely

00:27:33.160 Shouldn't be with them

00:27:33.880 The whole question is

00:27:34.600 How did you find it?

00:27:36.600 It's one thing

00:27:37.160 It's like okay

00:27:38.200 It's one thing if a girl DMs you 1.00

00:27:40.680 And and says oh he screenshots whatever

00:27:43.800 And it comes to you

00:27:45.160 But if you're going through his likes all the time

00:27:47.000 Going through his Instagram

00:27:48.200 Going through his DMs

00:27:49.320 Going through his following

00:27:50.600 You cannot tell

00:27:51.400 That is mad

00:27:51.640 You're literally setting yourself up

00:27:53.800 Even if you're just doing one of the three

00:27:55.480 It's like you're looking for problems

00:27:57.800 But how is that looking for a problem

00:27:59.560 When the problem was already there?

00:28:01.480 Okay how

00:28:02.760 But why would the problem be there?

00:28:04.040 Why did the problem exist in the first place?

00:28:05.400 Because you're not

00:28:06.280 You're not going into a relationship in good faith

00:28:08.760 You know what good faith is?

00:28:10.120 Yeah

00:28:10.680 Okay so

00:28:11.720 So because the question is

00:28:12.840 Why did you look to begin with?

00:28:14.920 There might have been something that could trigger that

00:28:17.560 Okay

00:28:18.120 But that

00:28:19.000 There might have been like

00:28:20.280 For example you see him like

00:28:21.480 Whenever you walk into the room

00:28:22.600 He quickly has his phone or

00:28:24.360 That could trigger your curiosity

00:28:26.440 Yeah

00:28:26.920 Right

00:28:27.160 You would want to know

00:28:27.880 Okay why is he hiding his phone?

00:28:29.080 Why is he doing that?

00:28:29.800 Why is he doing X, Y and Z?

00:28:30.920 So

00:28:31.800 That could be a valid reason

00:28:33.720 But then

00:28:34.760 But why would you get

00:28:35.480 Let there be a reason?

00:28:36.360 Why would you get triggered by that?

00:28:37.320 Let there be a reason

00:28:37.960 I guess sometimes

00:28:38.520 Why would you get triggered by the fact

00:28:39.800 He hides his phone?

00:28:40.760 Is it not from part of experiences?

00:28:41.960 Well it shows that he doesn't feel comfortable

00:28:43.560 No, no, no

00:28:44.120 That's just him physically showing you

00:28:46.040 That he doesn't feel comfortable

00:28:47.640 You seeing what he's doing on his phone

00:28:49.240 Why should you have to hide the phone from you

00:28:50.760 If you trust me?

00:28:52.600 Well, how about if he turns his phone flat?

00:28:56.280 I think again though

00:28:57.640 But I think again

00:28:58.440 Sorry, go ahead

00:28:59.320 I think again it links back to like

00:29:00.840 Insecurity and trust issues

00:29:02.200 And like maybe

00:29:03.160 Maybe issues from past relationships

00:29:05.080 Yeah, you see what I mean?

00:29:05.720 But at the end of the day

00:29:06.600 Because if he's hiding his phone

00:29:07.480 I wouldn't think

00:29:08.120 I've never thought in my life

00:29:09.560 Oh, he's hiding his phone

00:29:10.600 I just think

00:29:11.000 Oh, he's just putting it away

00:29:12.040 Yes, you have

00:29:12.600 No, but the way

00:29:14.200 It's the way

00:29:14.840 It's not about him

00:29:15.560 Oh yeah, oh babe, you're here

00:29:16.840 I want to give you attention

00:29:18.120 But the whole thing is like

00:29:19.400 It's like leave him

00:29:20.200 Yeah, exactly

00:29:22.040 Yeah, then leave him

00:29:23.000 You don't have to go through

00:29:23.880 I guess some girls want some reassurance 1.00

00:29:26.200 And there's nothing wrong with that

00:29:27.720 No, there's nothing wrong with reinsurance

00:29:29.160 But looking for something

00:29:29.560 That you may call a problem

00:29:30.920 Doesn't mean it is a problem

00:29:32.920 Yeah, but at what cost? 0.99

00:29:34.600 Like how often are you going to go through his shit? 1.00

00:29:37.000 Like it's like 0.99

00:29:37.560 Are you going to go through it?

00:29:38.440 And then now you're happy

00:29:39.400 And it's draining

00:29:40.040 You're never going to go through it again

00:29:41.240 You're not happy after going through it

00:29:43.160 You'll dig yourself a hole

00:29:45.000 And before you know it

00:29:46.120 You'll probably check in every day

00:29:47.320 What is this guy doing?

00:29:48.440 Where is he?

00:29:49.160 It's like I'm reliving my past

00:29:50.440 What's going on?

00:29:51.240 And then that builds up a problem in your head

00:29:53.320 Some of the time

00:29:53.960 Like you might even create an issue in your head

00:29:55.560 Which doesn't even exist

00:29:56.840 And that's overthinking

00:29:58.280 As crazy as that sounds

00:30:00.040 As crazy as this sounds

00:30:01.240 Some people actually have to dig themselves a problem

00:30:05.000 Yeah

00:30:05.400 No, some people actually have to do that

00:30:07.960 Yeah

00:30:08.200 Some people realise that they're in something toxic

00:30:11.160 Is that what you mean?

00:30:11.640 Yeah

00:30:12.120 And some females just want 1.00

00:30:13.800 For the sake of argument

00:30:14.840 Just for entertainment purposes

00:30:16.040 To excite

00:30:16.680 And just

00:30:17.000 And that's the difference

00:30:18.920 I've never done that

00:30:20.920 But obviously

00:30:21.400 Some people live for the adrenaline

00:30:23.320 Like the boost

00:30:24.520 I have

00:30:25.320 Yeah

00:30:25.640 And that's the difference between most females 1.00

00:30:27.160 Because not all females are the same

00:30:28.200 No, 100%

00:30:29.240 Yeah

00:30:29.720 But again

00:30:30.280 Like if you

00:30:30.840 If you feel like you have to check their socials every day

00:30:33.080 And they're checking what they're doing

00:30:34.520 And seeing what they're doing

00:30:35.320 That's mad though

00:30:36.360 But you know what

00:30:36.920 I think it

00:30:37.400 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait

00:30:38.280 Okay

00:30:38.520 There's nothing wrong with what?

00:30:39.560 There's nothing wrong with checking

00:30:41.160 With checking their socials

00:30:42.360 What do you mean by checking their socials?

00:30:43.960 Oh, I love how she's sticking up for me

00:30:45.080 Wait, wait, okay, okay, wait

00:30:46.520 So go on, go on, go on

00:30:48.360 Tell me, tell me

00:30:49.480 The reason why I'm saying that because

00:30:51.160 Checking what by the way?

00:30:53.080 Going back to what she said

00:30:54.040 Like the likes and who they're commenting at

00:30:56.280 I'm not talking about the DMs

00:30:57.080 Because I can't actually log into his Instagram

00:30:59.000 And see his DMs

00:31:00.040 But the comment is basically

00:31:04.120 Going up to a girl and saying 0.96

00:31:05.400 Mm-mm, look good

00:31:07.080 Unless that's their friend

00:31:08.280 That's a whole different

00:31:09.240 So unless that's someone that they knew before

00:31:11.560 Okay, question

00:31:12.600 Do you want to be married someday?

00:31:15.160 Yeah

00:31:15.800 Do you think that's healthy for a long-term marriage?

00:31:19.080 Do you think that's the future of success?

00:31:21.160 He shouldn't be doing it if he's married

00:31:22.520 Long successful marriages

00:31:24.120 Is to be looking through your husband's following

00:31:27.320 Who he's liking on Instagram, all that

00:31:30.440 He would have stopped by then

00:31:31.400 Yes and no

00:31:31.800 And told him to stop

00:31:32.600 But you know what?

00:31:33.320 Again, like it all circles back to you not trusting that person

00:31:37.080 You see what I mean?

00:31:37.800 Because you're searching that Instagram

00:31:39.400 To see if there's an issue there

00:31:40.600 There's a reason why you shouldn't trust them

00:31:42.200 Like literally

00:31:42.840 If it's not, if it's not Instagram

00:31:44.200 It's always going to be something

00:31:45.240 Yeah, by the way, I'm not only based on Instagram guys

00:31:48.280 I'm not a social media guy

00:31:49.320 Emails, it could be his email guys

00:31:51.560 His Google search

00:31:52.360 Like there's always something you can

00:31:53.560 That's crazy

00:31:54.200 Yeah, there's always something you can look through

00:31:57.880 Yeah

00:31:58.360 You know, and sometimes you take an L

00:32:00.120 I mean, some people meet the husband's other family at the funeral

00:32:03.640 You know, it just happens

00:32:06.360 Sometimes you just take an L

00:32:07.560 But there's always going to be something to look through

00:32:09.560 Yeah, 100%

00:32:10.920 And so it's not necessarily that he should be liking the photos

00:32:13.560 It's like the mindset behind it

00:32:15.160 Yeah

00:32:16.280 Okay, I'm going to read Super Chats for a second

00:32:18.280 Okay

00:32:19.800 Guys, make

00:32:20.440 Hold on

00:32:22.760 Sorry, okay

00:32:23.960 Guys, make sure you like the video

00:32:25.640 That is the most important metric that YouTube uses

00:32:28.040 To push out these live streams

00:32:29.320 So make sure you get to 1,000 likes today

00:32:31.720 We will open up the chat

00:32:32.920 Come on, y'all

00:32:33.480 A like is free

00:32:34.760 We are also reading all Super Chats

00:32:36.680 So make sure you send Super Chat

00:32:38.520 And we will read it

00:32:39.880 Alright, KCFSAC

00:32:44.360 They're insecure because at the end of the day

00:32:45.960 They have nothing to offer men 0.99

00:32:47.240 Other than depreciating looks and used box

00:32:49.560 And therefore they're replaceable

00:32:51.000 Black Moses 0.93

00:32:51.720 The chick on the end is justifying her toxicity 1.00

00:32:53.960 And is looking for issues to be toxic

00:32:55.720 KCF

00:32:56.520 They are excuse makers

00:32:58.040 Only go for guys that look like King Richie's 0.92

00:33:01.720 Chief Keef

00:33:03.560 Chief Keef

00:33:04.360 Pearl is this emoji

00:33:05.880 Red pill plus red head 0.98

00:33:08.040 Silly sausage 0.99

00:33:08.840 Girls have 27 boundaries 0.99

00:33:10.440 Yet when a guy has one boundary

00:33:12.440 And you break it and call him controlling

00:33:14.120 The politest way possible

00:33:16.120 You are just waffling

00:33:17.240 Michelle

00:33:17.800 Pearl add boundaries to the list

00:33:19.640 Or at least the definition of boundaries

00:33:22.440 Because that's

00:33:23.400 Because what my man and family are my whole life

00:33:26.200 Alphro

00:33:27.400 Reap what you sow

00:33:28.280 You grow what you plant

00:33:29.480 Con Cortez

00:33:31.560 I'm Sicilian

00:33:34.520 I had a girl from Malta

00:33:36.280 I was a freshman

00:33:37.000 She was a junior

00:33:37.640 And she loved seeing me

00:33:39.080 For seeing me fight for her

00:33:41.560 Definitely toxic

00:33:42.760 Alphro

00:33:44.280 Regine

00:33:44.920 Morning after pill

00:33:46.440 Is working for 72 hours

00:33:48.040 After taking it

00:33:48.840 Why did you need to take

00:33:49.880 Six to seven times a month

00:33:51.640 That's 18 to 21 days of coverage

00:33:53.880 I'm scared

00:33:54.360 You didn't know when you ovulated

00:33:56.680 Carlos X

00:33:57.560 Imagine a dude 0.70

00:33:59.080 Ghibli saying they had sex 0.98

00:34:00.680 With a girlfriend's sister on a show 0.88

00:34:02.440 That will get at least

00:34:03.560 Hundreds of thousands of views

00:34:04.920 You can't make this up

00:34:06.840 Zoros 0.96

00:34:07.800 It's funny when modern women think 1.00

00:34:09.880 Men and women are the same 0.97

00:34:11.160 When women sleep around their 304s 1.00

00:34:13.080 And lose value

00:34:13.880 But men are the 304 makers 1.00

00:34:18.520 Okay okay

00:34:19.640 Let me refresh the page really quick

00:34:21.640 Also guys sign up for our form

00:34:25.240 We are going to be doing events

00:34:26.200 In each city

00:34:27.160 We're also going to do a red pill boxing event

00:34:29.160 So if you want to know

00:34:30.520 Who I think

00:34:31.880 I don't want to speak too soon

00:34:33.560 But I'm 80% sure

00:34:35.160 I have two youtubers that are willing to box

00:34:37.240 So when I go back to Chicago

00:34:39.160 We're going to host like a whole boxing event

00:34:40.600 And if you want to know who it is

00:34:41.640 Sign up for our email list

00:34:42.680 That is in the

00:34:44.120 Is it in the comments or the description blessing

00:34:48.200 It's a pinned comment

00:34:49.160 Okay it's pinned in the chat

00:34:51.800 Also we're going to do meetups

00:34:54.040 When I'm in the U.S. next month

00:34:55.560 So we're going to do I think L.A.

00:34:57.960 Atlanta possibly

00:34:59.400 Nashville

00:35:00.760 And Chicago

00:35:02.200 They're just going to be low

00:35:03.400 Like we're just going to send out texts

00:35:04.760 And whoever wants to come

00:35:05.720 Come it's going to be at like a coffee shop

00:35:07.160 Or something

00:35:08.600 With security

00:35:09.400 No weird stuff

00:35:10.200 Okay

00:35:10.600 Yeah

00:35:10.920 Okay

00:35:13.480 But make sure you guys like the video

00:35:14.840 I'm going to refresh this real quick

00:35:16.040 To see if there's any more super chats

00:35:17.800 And then we're going to get back to the show

00:35:21.000 Okay

00:35:23.800 Okay

00:35:24.120 Do you think it's possible to have a healthy relationship with a former toxic ex

00:35:34.200 In the future

00:35:35.240 Yeah

00:35:35.640 Oh yeah

00:35:36.360 So cute

00:35:37.320 It's possible

00:35:37.800 Yeah I agree

00:35:38.360 I think you can

00:35:38.920 I think you can

00:35:39.400 Happy ending

00:35:40.280 Like you've grown up

00:35:41.560 You've leveled up

00:35:42.760 Mindsets are different

00:35:44.680 And you've both grown individuals as people

00:35:47.000 And you've done your self-reflection

00:35:48.840 And figured out how to love yourself

00:35:50.600 And not depend

00:35:51.480 You know there's a lot of life lessons

00:35:52.760 And I'll say there's a possibility

00:35:54.360 So yeah

00:35:55.160 It's not common

00:35:55.960 But like I think it's a possibility

00:35:58.600 Yeah

00:35:58.920 If you guys go your separate ways

00:36:00.200 Go like you said

00:36:01.160 And then come back

00:36:02.120 And then yeah

00:36:03.000 Sometimes mental work

00:36:04.120 It could work and it couldn't work

00:36:05.240 Yeah

00:36:05.480 How important is it to be honest with yourself about past relationships

00:36:16.040 Extremely

00:36:17.880 Because the last person you would want to lie to is yourself

00:36:21.000 That's the last person

00:36:22.040 Have you ever lied to yourself before?

00:36:28.120 That's a hot question

00:36:29.560 Yes you have

00:36:30.360 It's based on what she said

00:36:31.800 No no

00:36:32.120 But I've always tried to be as honest as possible

00:36:36.040 And state out the facts about certain situations

00:36:39.480 I possibly have lied to myself

00:36:41.400 Yes

00:36:42.280 Not aware of right now

00:36:43.240 But

00:36:44.600 How did you grow from that?

00:36:48.680 Journaling

00:36:50.440 Asking for advice

00:36:51.640 Asking for people's opinions on my situation

00:36:55.480 And

00:36:56.760 Studying human behavior

00:36:58.920 Okay

00:36:59.320 Like studying psychology?

00:37:00.920 No

00:37:01.480 I just literally

00:37:02.600 Naturally love to

00:37:04.200 Know people for who they are

00:37:05.400 And how they act

00:37:06.280 And their behaviors

00:37:07.960 Yeah

00:37:08.280 It's a spiritual thing

00:37:09.320 Yeah

00:37:09.640 I do too

00:37:10.040 Yeah

00:37:10.200 It's a spiritual thing

00:37:11.080 I agree with you

00:37:12.120 Um

00:37:12.520 Yeah I definitely feel like I've lied to myself

00:37:14.280 Because I feel like

00:37:15.240 When you're in a toxic situation

00:37:17.240 And then you make excuses for that other person

00:37:19.160 You make those excuses for yourself

00:37:20.920 To accept that

00:37:21.720 Their behaviors

00:37:22.520 So I definitely think

00:37:24.360 Yeah

00:37:24.600 I have in the past

00:37:26.440 Yeah

00:37:26.680 I'll say definitely I have

00:37:27.960 And the reason why

00:37:29.080 Is to make it seem as if yeah

00:37:30.440 Everything is all

00:37:31.320 Ooh yaddy yaddy

00:37:32.280 Yay

00:37:32.520 Rainbow sunshine

00:37:34.440 So it's like

00:37:35.240 It's like I'm covering something

00:37:37.080 That I shouldn't have

00:37:37.960 And the reason why

00:37:39.400 Is because I don't really know myself

00:37:41.160 Properly as of yet

00:37:42.120 Hence why

00:37:42.760 If I am true to myself

00:37:43.960 I have no reason to lie to myself

00:37:45.560 Do you understand?

00:37:46.120 So yeah

00:37:47.560 What's the question?

00:37:48.120 Have I lied to myself?

00:37:49.080 How important is it to be honest yourself

00:37:52.360 With yourself

00:37:52.840 Are we not going to ask?

00:37:53.320 About past relationships

00:37:54.760 Oh okay

00:37:55.320 And have you ever lied to yourself?

00:37:57.320 Um

00:37:59.240 Obviously like we said

00:38:00.040 It is really honest

00:38:00.840 And really honest

00:38:01.800 Oh my god

00:38:02.520 Important

00:38:03.000 The drink

00:38:03.800 The Sprite 1.00

00:38:04.600 Fuck up 0.99

00:38:05.560 The Sprite 1.00

00:38:06.680 The face

00:38:09.320 No listen

00:38:09.960 It is really honest

00:38:10.920 The bubbles

00:38:11.000 Really honest

00:38:12.040 It's really

00:38:12.600 Oh my goodness

00:38:13.240 It's really important

00:38:14.040 To be honest with yourself

00:38:15.000 It is

00:38:15.400 Because at the end of the day

00:38:17.080 You're going to be stuck

00:38:17.800 With yourself for life

00:38:19.080 So you really

00:38:20.120 You need to

00:38:21.080 Know yourself

00:38:22.520 Inside and out

00:38:24.120 There's really people in this world

00:38:25.160 That actually believe their own lies

00:38:27.320 Oh yeah

00:38:27.880 I know someone that believes her

00:38:31.720 Go ahead

00:38:32.120 It's a story

00:38:33.080 This one's deep

00:38:34.760 But she

00:38:36.360 Never believes that she's in

00:38:37.720 Well she sometimes believes

00:38:38.840 That she's in the wrong

00:38:39.720 But you have to be on like a

00:38:41.240 Like a calm level

00:38:42.680 In order for her to see that

00:38:44.520 As many of you know

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JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023

Modern Women BLAMED Each Other For TOXIC Relationships

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