JustPearlyThings - August 24, 2023


Modern Women CANNOT Be Wives


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

221.45091

Word Count

2,265

Sentence Count

167

Misogynist Sentences

21

Hate Speech Sentences

15


Summary

In this episode, we talk about dating outside of your culture, religion, and what it means to be an average woman. We also talk about what it's like being a Christian and Muslim in the modern world.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Could you date a man outside your culture?
00:00:02.240 If you're God-fearing, yes.
00:00:03.400 For me, you need God in your life.
00:00:05.920 Otherwise, there is just, I don't think anything
00:00:08.640 can be successful, but that's my opinion.
00:00:10.640 Because if you don't, and a family man,
00:00:13.040 because for me, if you don't respect your mom,
00:00:15.200 you're not gonna respect a stranger.
00:00:16.920 I have a, wait, so what religion are you?
00:00:19.320 So I grew up, dad was Christian, mom was Muslim.
00:00:22.440 So I did have both sides and loved them both.
00:00:25.640 And I'm so happy that I had both
00:00:27.640 because it opened my mind as well, yeah.
00:00:31.280 Which one do you?
00:00:35.760 They're so similar.
00:00:38.480 Really?
00:00:39.320 Yeah, that's so interesting.
00:00:40.480 Yeah, they're so similar.
00:00:41.740 I used to actually go to church, churches a lot.
00:00:45.260 Again, I don't, please, it's just my opinion.
00:00:48.320 For me, my problem-
00:00:49.480 No one's gonna yell at you about what you're doing.
00:00:51.520 My problem was I just didn't,
00:00:53.240 I couldn't understand how like Jesus was God.
00:00:57.640 So now when, then when I done my research in Islam,
00:01:00.640 it was like, he's a prophet.
00:01:01.880 So for me, that made sense.
00:01:03.120 And I thought, okay, like it answered my question,
00:01:05.040 but they're the same.
00:01:06.200 We need to do good.
00:01:07.040 There's tradition, there is respect.
00:01:08.920 For me, the end result is the same.
00:01:12.280 I'm curious, because I've noticed in Christian churches,
00:01:15.880 they're kind of driving men out,
00:01:17.400 where there's not a lot of young men
00:01:18.700 in Christian churches anymore.
00:01:19.980 It's like, if you look at them,
00:01:21.280 like if you go into a church under like,
00:01:23.880 I don't know, 35-ish, it's mostly women.
00:01:27.080 And I'm curious, are there more young men
00:01:29.520 in like Muslim religions?
00:01:31.840 From what I'm seeing now, there's a lot of converts.
00:01:34.120 I feel like there's more happening now.
00:01:38.000 So yeah, I think there's loads of men in the mosques.
00:01:42.040 Yeah, because I think it's one of the few religions
00:01:44.800 that keeps traditional masculinity,
00:01:47.640 where the Christians are kind of, they're kind of gone.
00:01:49.600 Yeah, because back in the days, it was so similar,
00:01:53.800 but now people are trying to make it so modern.
00:01:56.040 It's like, you can't pick and choose.
00:01:57.480 Yeah, and they just like pander,
00:02:00.040 because most of the women are the ones like paying
00:02:02.040 into churches, so the problem is they just pander to women.
00:02:05.040 Yeah, and I've heard like some churches,
00:02:07.000 like you can have gay marriages and stuff,
00:02:09.040 and it's like, you can't pick and choose.
00:02:10.800 And the other thing is they always have like,
00:02:12.800 what do they call it, corn addiction groups for the men,
00:02:16.160 but they never have social media addiction groups
00:02:18.240 for the women.
00:02:19.600 And it's like, they always like put out women on a pedestal,
00:02:22.000 even if she's like ran through and had two kids,
00:02:23.840 you should still wait till you're married with her.
00:02:25.520 It's like, what are you, what?
00:02:30.800 It's like simping.
00:02:33.440 Okay, I was just curious.
00:02:34.800 What about you?
00:02:36.000 I know I'm average.
00:02:37.360 Reason being is because I'm not a wife yet.
00:02:39.600 I think the best way to measure if someone is above average
00:02:43.360 is to look at their relationship status.
00:02:45.920 And I feel like if a man hasn't signed some papers
00:02:48.720 and made a promise in front of God to be with me forever
00:02:51.200 and have kids with me,
00:02:52.400 then that definitely means I am an average woman.
00:02:56.000 It's like going into a singing competition,
00:02:57.920 and then, you know, the judge is Whitney Houston.
00:03:00.080 If Whitney Houston tells me I am not good,
00:03:02.080 then that means I'm definitely, you know,
00:03:03.920 not above average when it comes to singing.
00:03:06.240 So, yeah, in terms of my relationship status, I'm still single.
00:03:09.360 I haven't found anyone who is, you know, ready to commit to me.
00:03:13.040 So that means there's some things that I need to improve on.
00:03:15.840 So, yeah, I'm average and I'm happy about it.
00:03:18.080 It just goes to show that I'm a work in progress.
00:03:19.920 And so what you're going to leave the value of yourself in the hands of somebody else,
00:03:24.560 not the hands of someone else, but it's just...
00:03:26.560 You should.
00:03:27.280 Not really the hands of...
00:03:28.160 No, she's right.
00:03:28.960 I feel like for me personally, I feel like for me personally,
00:03:31.760 I feel like a person's ability to maintain a relationship
00:03:35.600 goes to show just how good of a person that they are.
00:03:38.560 It shows their compatibility, it shows their patience,
00:03:41.600 and it also mirrors how a person can value them as well.
00:03:44.880 So for me, I think relationship is the best way to measure.
00:03:48.080 So for example, if I saw a woman and she was 50 with six cats,
00:03:51.920 I would think there's something really wrong with that woman.
00:03:54.000 Yeah, of course.
00:03:54.400 If I saw a woman who was like 20 and married,
00:03:56.880 like let's be real, the best way to measure how a person...
00:03:59.520 It's like when you see a female and she has like no friends,
00:04:02.400 you would know there's something wrong with that woman.
00:04:03.840 Yeah, those extreme examples are valid.
00:04:05.920 But I definitely feel like the best way to see how a person is,
00:04:09.840 you know, a good person is to see how they are with their relationships.
00:04:13.040 And I feel like with me, marriage is that epitome of like,
00:04:15.680 okay, this person is a good person.
00:04:17.360 So yeah, I would say until I'm married, I definitely think I'm above average.
00:04:20.480 I think you're right because it's like,
00:04:24.400 you have to judge based on your results.
00:04:26.400 It's like saying I got married to the wrong person.
00:04:29.200 Yeah.
00:04:29.840 What if the other person, what if the other person is abusive?
00:04:32.720 Exactly.
00:04:33.360 Possessive.
00:04:34.400 What if you're now dictating?
00:04:36.400 Why do we have this?
00:04:37.440 Oh, if you're married, it's got to be to the wrong person.
00:04:39.920 He's got to be abusive.
00:04:41.120 But I think like you as a woman,
00:04:43.520 the type of guy you can maintain says something about you.
00:04:46.400 So it's got to be a quality husband.
00:04:47.840 I definitely agree with you in the sense that like,
00:04:51.760 if you marry the wrong person,
00:04:53.040 and that definitely means you're average,
00:04:54.480 because how could you be so silly to not realize what's best for you?
00:04:57.600 So in that case, but let's be real.
00:04:59.280 There's a lot of marriages that have worked out.
00:05:01.280 And for those that have worked out,
00:05:02.880 I definitely think they are above average,
00:05:04.720 because your ability to keep someone happy,
00:05:07.200 to be patient, to be compatible, to provide for them.
00:05:10.560 Like for me, when I think of above average,
00:05:12.240 I think of someone who's nurturing, someone that can cook, someone that,
00:05:15.760 and when you package that, that's basically wifey material.
00:05:18.560 Traditional, traditional women get scooped up by 25.
00:05:21.360 The best women are gone by 25 out of the dating market,
00:05:24.320 because the best women want a family and want kids.
00:05:26.720 And they find the men that want a family and want kids,
00:05:28.560 and they're gone.
00:05:29.120 If I could get married tomorrow, I'm absolutely weird.
00:05:32.240 Honestly, honestly.
00:05:34.000 But I definitely feel like society has lost that importance of like,
00:05:38.800 measuring someone by their relationships and how it's working out.
00:05:42.320 So with that being said, I 100% agree with what you were saying,
00:05:46.080 but on the lower scale, a man can come along and be absolute trash.
00:05:52.160 Let me just use, like, all right, cool.
00:05:55.520 So the way that my dad has worked, yeah,
00:05:59.040 he's got with someone and he's married them.
00:06:01.680 And it's like, okay, she's not worthy.
00:06:04.240 He's just settled down with her because it's convenient.
00:06:08.000 Do you get what I'm saying?
00:06:08.800 So if she was to measure that by, oh, yeah, I'm great.
00:06:11.760 You're not great, babe.
00:06:12.960 You don't have a lot going on.
00:06:14.080 But he's married you because he's getting old
00:06:16.000 and because all of these different factors.
00:06:18.720 On the larger scale, what you're saying 100%,
00:06:20.640 I agree with you and it makes sense.
00:06:22.080 But there are the lower percentage of men that are low quality.
00:06:27.600 I just want to make it clear.
00:06:28.640 I think what I was trying to say is if you're in a healthy marriage,
00:06:31.040 I'm not going to sit here and say if a guy just chose you because he wanted to settle.
00:06:34.320 Right, right, that's it.
00:06:35.280 No, there's definitely some circumstances where there's people that are married
00:06:38.640 and they are below average because, again, they're abusive
00:06:41.120 or the guy has settled or whatever.
00:06:42.640 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:43.200 But for the healthy marriages, and there is a lot of healthy marriages,
00:06:46.800 it definitely goes to show your ability to be an above average person.
00:06:50.960 And another thing I realized,
00:06:52.000 I feel like a lot of people focus too much on the negatives.
00:06:54.640 I feel like the negative situations of abusive partners and whatever,
00:06:57.840 they're like a small percentage of things.
00:06:59.120 I think women are more abusive than men in 2023.
00:07:03.360 I think there's more women that hit men than men that hit women.
00:07:05.840 I just don't think it's reported.
00:07:07.440 Yeah.
00:07:07.680 I agree with that, actually.
00:07:08.640 I agree.
00:07:08.800 Because women hit men when they're angry and when they're having arguments
00:07:11.680 and they do like pushing and shoving, but the men just don't retaliate.
00:07:14.320 So the thing is as well, for a man, do you know how degrading it is
00:07:17.520 to bring up that your woman has hit you?
00:07:19.360 Exactly that as well.
00:07:20.160 You're not going to bring that up.
00:07:21.200 Exactly.
00:07:21.360 You're just going to keep it quiet.
00:07:22.560 Yeah.
00:07:22.880 So a lot of women, they brag, oh, you know, my man hit me.
00:07:25.280 A man ain't going to do that.
00:07:26.720 So it's very, very different.
00:07:27.680 And usually it's like the last straw because you've actually got him to that peak
00:07:30.800 at that point.
00:07:31.280 Yeah.
00:07:31.520 So he's had to do something.
00:07:32.640 They also don't talk about the women that get a man to a certain point
00:07:35.920 by verbally abusing him and then he snaps one day.
00:07:38.560 Yeah, I agree.
00:07:39.280 And then they label him as abusive or crazy when it's like you've,
00:07:42.560 what's worse, being hit?
00:07:43.840 Like the scars heal.
00:07:44.960 The things that people say to you, you can't take that back.
00:07:48.640 And can I also say that like, sorry.
00:07:50.480 And even if you are like an average woman, I think what we need to understand,
00:07:53.920 like it's actually okay to be average.
00:07:55.760 That basically just means you're a working person.
00:07:57.920 So for everyone here, he's probably like single.
00:08:00.000 This is not me trying to say that there's like something wrong with you.
00:08:02.720 You're probably still a work in progress, just like me.
00:08:05.040 And I think that's something like us as people need to learn to admit a little bit
00:08:09.200 rather than just having this mindset of, okay, I'm a cat today.
00:08:12.320 So now I'm going to be a cat or I'm a dog.
00:08:14.000 Like let's, you can be realistic in the present.
00:08:16.560 So yeah, to answer that question, cause I was kind of waffling.
00:08:18.800 I'm definitely average.
00:08:20.960 But I think, you know, when you said about like, we focus on the negative,
00:08:25.520 like for me personally, like someone might say, oh, you focus on the negative
00:08:28.240 because I'm not like definitely keen to get married and have kids right now.
00:08:32.160 And I've always been that girl.
00:08:33.200 That's like, live your life, travel, do what you want.
00:08:36.080 Like to all my friends, to women, young girls that I meet, I'm like,
00:08:38.800 I'm very much an advocate for that.
00:08:40.560 And then people may think, oh, it's because you've never had a healthy
00:08:42.720 relationship in your life or you've not got that example.
00:08:45.680 Actually, no, my parents have been together since they were 16 and they're married
00:08:49.040 and I live with them.
00:08:50.000 So I have had the best example actually, but I have the most realistic example as well.
00:08:54.320 But that's a modern mindset.
00:08:55.840 That's a below average mindset.
00:08:57.280 Which, which to travel and explore the world and stuff.
00:09:00.160 Men don't want that.
00:09:01.200 Yeah, but why is it about what men want?
00:09:02.720 Because like men are the buyers.
00:09:04.080 You have to learn the buyers in order to be bought.
00:09:06.400 Yeah, but I just, I so strongly disagree with that because I'm not going to live my life
00:09:10.160 depending on what a man wants.
00:09:11.680 Like, absolutely not.
00:09:12.880 And that's a below average mindset.
00:09:14.400 That's the problem with modern women is that mindset.
00:09:16.000 But who said it's below average?
00:09:17.440 The men.
00:09:18.560 No man wants a girl that won't live her life for him in any way.
00:09:22.000 Let's ask him.
00:09:22.960 You're a man.
00:09:23.680 Is that a below average mindset?
00:09:25.200 Because as a woman, I feel like it's important to, you know, take care of yourself first when
00:09:29.360 you're young, at least.
00:09:30.160 Not, I'm not talking when you're older.
00:09:31.120 I'm saying you're like early twenties, teens, like travel, learn about yourself and don't
00:09:35.600 focus so much on trying to get into a relationship and get married by 25.
00:09:39.280 No, I disagree.
00:09:39.920 You know, I think I'd want to be the one that takes on that experience.
00:09:43.040 So she experiences with me for the first time.
00:09:46.000 So you think that's a below average mindset.
00:09:47.920 I'm still going to stand on my points.
00:09:49.280 I'm just telling you how men see it.
00:09:54.080 And like men see if you traveling around, men see that as you're sleeping around.
00:09:58.400 Like men see it if you're in a different, in all these different cities that you're riding
00:10:04.240 something in all these different cities.
00:10:05.840 That's how men see it.
00:10:07.200 It's also, if you've been single for a long time, men see it as, oh, she's been doing,
00:10:10.480 she's been doing something.
00:10:11.600 She's been up to something.
00:10:12.800 That's how the guys see it.