JustPearlyThings - Modern Women CANNOT Be Wives

00:00:00.000 Could you date a man outside your culture?

00:00:02.240 If you're God-fearing, yes.

00:00:03.400 For me, you need God in your life.

00:00:05.920 Otherwise, there is just, I don't think anything

00:00:08.640 can be successful, but that's my opinion.

00:00:10.640 Because if you don't, and a family man,

00:00:13.040 because for me, if you don't respect your mom,

00:00:15.200 you're not gonna respect a stranger.

00:00:16.920 I have a, wait, so what religion are you?

00:00:19.320 So I grew up, dad was Christian, mom was Muslim.

00:00:22.440 So I did have both sides and loved them both.

00:00:25.640 And I'm so happy that I had both

00:00:27.640 because it opened my mind as well, yeah.

00:00:31.280 Which one do you?

00:00:35.760 They're so similar.

00:00:38.480 Really?

00:00:39.320 Yeah, that's so interesting.

00:00:40.480 Yeah, they're so similar.

00:00:41.740 I used to actually go to church, churches a lot.

00:00:45.260 Again, I don't, please, it's just my opinion.

00:00:48.320 For me, my problem-

00:00:49.480 No one's gonna yell at you about what you're doing.

00:00:51.520 My problem was I just didn't,

00:00:53.240 I couldn't understand how like Jesus was God.

00:00:57.640 So now when, then when I done my research in Islam,

00:01:00.640 it was like, he's a prophet.

00:01:01.880 So for me, that made sense.

00:01:03.120 And I thought, okay, like it answered my question,

00:01:05.040 but they're the same.

00:01:06.200 We need to do good.

00:01:07.040 There's tradition, there is respect.

00:01:08.920 For me, the end result is the same.

00:01:12.280 I'm curious, because I've noticed in Christian churches,

00:01:15.880 they're kind of driving men out,

00:01:17.400 where there's not a lot of young men

00:01:18.700 in Christian churches anymore.

00:01:19.980 It's like, if you look at them,

00:01:21.280 like if you go into a church under like,

00:01:23.880 I don't know, 35-ish, it's mostly women. 1.00

00:01:27.080 And I'm curious, are there more young men

00:01:29.520 in like Muslim religions?

00:01:31.840 From what I'm seeing now, there's a lot of converts.

00:01:34.120 I feel like there's more happening now.

00:01:38.000 So yeah, I think there's loads of men in the mosques.

00:01:42.040 Yeah, because I think it's one of the few religions

00:01:44.800 that keeps traditional masculinity,

00:01:47.640 where the Christians are kind of, they're kind of gone. 0.98

00:01:49.600 Yeah, because back in the days, it was so similar,

00:01:53.800 but now people are trying to make it so modern.

00:01:56.040 It's like, you can't pick and choose.

00:01:57.480 Yeah, and they just like pander,

00:02:00.040 because most of the women are the ones like paying 1.00

00:02:02.040 into churches, so the problem is they just pander to women. 1.00

00:02:05.040 Yeah, and I've heard like some churches, 0.83

00:02:07.000 like you can have gay marriages and stuff,

00:02:09.040 and it's like, you can't pick and choose.

00:02:10.800 And the other thing is they always have like,

00:02:12.800 what do they call it, corn addiction groups for the men,

00:02:16.160 but they never have social media addiction groups

00:02:18.240 for the women.

00:02:19.600 And it's like, they always like put out women on a pedestal,

00:02:22.000 even if she's like ran through and had two kids,

00:02:23.840 you should still wait till you're married with her. 0.67

00:02:25.520 It's like, what are you, what?

00:02:30.800 It's like simping.

00:02:33.440 Okay, I was just curious.

00:02:34.800 What about you?

00:02:36.000 I know I'm average.

00:02:37.360 Reason being is because I'm not a wife yet.

00:02:39.600 I think the best way to measure if someone is above average

00:02:43.360 is to look at their relationship status.

00:02:45.920 And I feel like if a man hasn't signed some papers

00:02:48.720 and made a promise in front of God to be with me forever

00:02:51.200 and have kids with me,

00:02:52.400 then that definitely means I am an average woman.

00:02:56.000 It's like going into a singing competition,

00:02:57.920 and then, you know, the judge is Whitney Houston. 1.00

00:03:00.080 If Whitney Houston tells me I am not good,

00:03:02.080 then that means I'm definitely, you know,

00:03:03.920 not above average when it comes to singing.

00:03:06.240 So, yeah, in terms of my relationship status, I'm still single.

00:03:09.360 I haven't found anyone who is, you know, ready to commit to me.

00:03:13.040 So that means there's some things that I need to improve on.

00:03:15.840 So, yeah, I'm average and I'm happy about it.

00:03:18.080 It just goes to show that I'm a work in progress.

00:03:19.920 And so what you're going to leave the value of yourself in the hands of somebody else,

00:03:24.560 not the hands of someone else, but it's just...

00:03:26.560 You should.

00:03:27.280 Not really the hands of...

00:03:28.160 No, she's right.

00:03:28.960 I feel like for me personally, I feel like for me personally,

00:03:31.760 I feel like a person's ability to maintain a relationship

00:03:35.600 goes to show just how good of a person that they are.

00:03:38.560 It shows their compatibility, it shows their patience,

00:03:41.600 and it also mirrors how a person can value them as well.

00:03:44.880 So for me, I think relationship is the best way to measure.

00:03:48.080 So for example, if I saw a woman and she was 50 with six cats,

00:03:51.920 I would think there's something really wrong with that woman. 1.00

00:03:54.000 Yeah, of course.

00:03:54.400 If I saw a woman who was like 20 and married, 1.00

00:03:56.880 like let's be real, the best way to measure how a person...

00:03:59.520 It's like when you see a female and she has like no friends, 1.00

00:04:02.400 you would know there's something wrong with that woman. 1.00

00:04:03.840 Yeah, those extreme examples are valid. 0.98

00:04:05.920 But I definitely feel like the best way to see how a person is,

00:04:09.840 you know, a good person is to see how they are with their relationships.

00:04:13.040 And I feel like with me, marriage is that epitome of like,

00:04:15.680 okay, this person is a good person.

00:04:17.360 So yeah, I would say until I'm married, I definitely think I'm above average.

00:04:20.480 I think you're right because it's like,

00:04:24.400 you have to judge based on your results.

00:04:26.400 It's like saying I got married to the wrong person.

00:04:29.200 Yeah.

00:04:29.840 What if the other person, what if the other person is abusive?

00:04:32.720 Exactly.

00:04:33.360 Possessive.

00:04:34.400 What if you're now dictating?

00:04:36.400 Why do we have this?

00:04:37.440 Oh, if you're married, it's got to be to the wrong person.

00:04:39.920 He's got to be abusive.

00:04:41.120 But I think like you as a woman,

00:04:43.520 the type of guy you can maintain says something about you.

00:04:46.400 So it's got to be a quality husband.

00:04:47.840 I definitely agree with you in the sense that like,

00:04:51.760 if you marry the wrong person,

00:04:53.040 and that definitely means you're average, 0.99

00:04:54.480 because how could you be so silly to not realize what's best for you? 0.99

00:04:57.600 So in that case, but let's be real. 0.98

00:04:59.280 There's a lot of marriages that have worked out.

00:05:01.280 And for those that have worked out,

00:05:02.880 I definitely think they are above average,

00:05:04.720 because your ability to keep someone happy,

00:05:07.200 to be patient, to be compatible, to provide for them.

00:05:10.560 Like for me, when I think of above average,

00:05:12.240 I think of someone who's nurturing, someone that can cook, someone that,

00:05:15.760 and when you package that, that's basically wifey material. 1.00

00:05:18.560 Traditional, traditional women get scooped up by 25. 1.00

00:05:21.360 The best women are gone by 25 out of the dating market, 1.00

00:05:24.320 because the best women want a family and want kids. 1.00

00:05:26.720 And they find the men that want a family and want kids,

00:05:28.560 and they're gone.

00:05:29.120 If I could get married tomorrow, I'm absolutely weird.

00:05:32.240 Honestly, honestly.

00:05:34.000 But I definitely feel like society has lost that importance of like,

00:05:38.800 measuring someone by their relationships and how it's working out.

00:05:42.320 So with that being said, I 100% agree with what you were saying, 0.99

00:05:46.080 but on the lower scale, a man can come along and be absolute trash. 0.95

00:05:52.160 Let me just use, like, all right, cool. 0.91

00:05:55.520 So the way that my dad has worked, yeah,

00:05:59.040 he's got with someone and he's married them.

00:06:01.680 And it's like, okay, she's not worthy.

00:06:04.240 He's just settled down with her because it's convenient.

00:06:08.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:06:08.800 So if she was to measure that by, oh, yeah, I'm great.

00:06:11.760 You're not great, babe.

00:06:12.960 You don't have a lot going on.

00:06:14.080 But he's married you because he's getting old

00:06:16.000 and because all of these different factors.

00:06:18.720 On the larger scale, what you're saying 100%,

00:06:20.640 I agree with you and it makes sense.

00:06:22.080 But there are the lower percentage of men that are low quality.

00:06:27.600 I just want to make it clear.

00:06:28.640 I think what I was trying to say is if you're in a healthy marriage,

00:06:31.040 I'm not going to sit here and say if a guy just chose you because he wanted to settle.

00:06:34.320 Right, right, that's it.

00:06:35.280 No, there's definitely some circumstances where there's people that are married

00:06:38.640 and they are below average because, again, they're abusive

00:06:41.120 or the guy has settled or whatever.

00:06:42.640 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:43.200 But for the healthy marriages, and there is a lot of healthy marriages,

00:06:46.800 it definitely goes to show your ability to be an above average person.

00:06:50.960 And another thing I realized,

00:06:52.000 I feel like a lot of people focus too much on the negatives.

00:06:54.640 I feel like the negative situations of abusive partners and whatever,

00:06:57.840 they're like a small percentage of things.

00:06:59.120 I think women are more abusive than men in 2023. 1.00

00:07:03.360 I think there's more women that hit men than men that hit women. 1.00

00:07:05.840 I just don't think it's reported.

00:07:07.440 Yeah.

00:07:07.680 I agree with that, actually.

00:07:08.640 I agree.

00:07:08.800 Because women hit men when they're angry and when they're having arguments 1.00

00:07:11.680 and they do like pushing and shoving, but the men just don't retaliate.

00:07:14.320 So the thing is as well, for a man, do you know how degrading it is 0.96

00:07:17.520 to bring up that your woman has hit you?

00:07:19.360 Exactly that as well.

00:07:20.160 You're not going to bring that up.

00:07:21.200 Exactly.

00:07:21.360 You're just going to keep it quiet.

00:07:22.560 Yeah.

00:07:22.880 So a lot of women, they brag, oh, you know, my man hit me. 1.00

00:07:25.280 A man ain't going to do that.

00:07:26.720 So it's very, very different.

00:07:27.680 And usually it's like the last straw because you've actually got him to that peak

00:07:30.800 at that point.

00:07:31.280 Yeah.

00:07:31.520 So he's had to do something.

00:07:32.640 They also don't talk about the women that get a man to a certain point

00:07:35.920 by verbally abusing him and then he snaps one day.

00:07:38.560 Yeah, I agree.

00:07:39.280 And then they label him as abusive or crazy when it's like you've,

00:07:42.560 what's worse, being hit?

00:07:43.840 Like the scars heal.

00:07:44.960 The things that people say to you, you can't take that back.

00:07:48.640 And can I also say that like, sorry.

00:07:50.480 And even if you are like an average woman, I think what we need to understand,

00:07:53.920 like it's actually okay to be average.

00:07:55.760 That basically just means you're a working person.

00:07:57.920 So for everyone here, he's probably like single.

00:08:00.000 This is not me trying to say that there's like something wrong with you.

00:08:02.720 You're probably still a work in progress, just like me.

00:08:05.040 And I think that's something like us as people need to learn to admit a little bit

00:08:09.200 rather than just having this mindset of, okay, I'm a cat today.

00:08:12.320 So now I'm going to be a cat or I'm a dog.

00:08:14.000 Like let's, you can be realistic in the present.

00:08:16.560 So yeah, to answer that question, cause I was kind of waffling.

00:08:18.800 I'm definitely average.

00:08:20.960 But I think, you know, when you said about like, we focus on the negative,

00:08:25.520 like for me personally, like someone might say, oh, you focus on the negative

00:08:28.240 because I'm not like definitely keen to get married and have kids right now.

00:08:32.160 And I've always been that girl.

00:08:33.200 That's like, live your life, travel, do what you want.

00:08:36.080 Like to all my friends, to women, young girls that I meet, I'm like,

00:08:38.800 I'm very much an advocate for that.

00:08:40.560 And then people may think, oh, it's because you've never had a healthy

00:08:42.720 relationship in your life or you've not got that example.

00:08:45.680 Actually, no, my parents have been together since they were 16 and they're married

00:08:49.040 and I live with them.

00:08:50.000 So I have had the best example actually, but I have the most realistic example as well.

00:08:54.320 But that's a modern mindset.

00:08:55.840 That's a below average mindset.

00:08:57.280 Which, which to travel and explore the world and stuff.

00:09:00.160 Men don't want that. 1.00

00:09:01.200 Yeah, but why is it about what men want? 0.84

00:09:02.720 Because like men are the buyers. 0.99

00:09:04.080 You have to learn the buyers in order to be bought.

00:09:06.400 Yeah, but I just, I so strongly disagree with that because I'm not going to live my life

00:09:10.160 depending on what a man wants.

00:09:11.680 Like, absolutely not.

00:09:12.880 And that's a below average mindset.

00:09:14.400 That's the problem with modern women is that mindset. 1.00

00:09:16.000 But who said it's below average?

00:09:17.440 The men.

00:09:18.560 No man wants a girl that won't live her life for him in any way. 0.98

00:09:22.000 Let's ask him.

00:09:22.960 You're a man.

00:09:23.680 Is that a below average mindset?

00:09:25.200 Because as a woman, I feel like it's important to, you know, take care of yourself first when

00:09:29.360 you're young, at least.

00:09:30.160 Not, I'm not talking when you're older.

00:09:31.120 I'm saying you're like early twenties, teens, like travel, learn about yourself and don't

00:09:35.600 focus so much on trying to get into a relationship and get married by 25.

00:09:39.280 No, I disagree.

00:09:39.920 You know, I think I'd want to be the one that takes on that experience.

00:09:43.040 So she experiences with me for the first time.

00:09:46.000 So you think that's a below average mindset.

00:09:47.920 I'm still going to stand on my points.

00:09:49.280 I'm just telling you how men see it.

00:09:54.080 And like men see if you traveling around, men see that as you're sleeping around.

00:09:58.400 Like men see it if you're in a different, in all these different cities that you're riding 0.86

00:10:04.240 something in all these different cities.

00:10:05.840 That's how men see it.

00:10:07.200 It's also, if you've been single for a long time, men see it as, oh, she's been doing,

00:10:10.480 she's been doing something.

00:10:11.600 She's been up to something.

00:10:12.800 That's how the guys see it.

JustPearlyThings - August 24, 2023

Modern Women CANNOT Be Wives

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