JustPearlyThings - Modern Women Can’t Define Masculinity

00:00:00.000 what's controlling a narcissistic could you re-explain i just didn't understand what you're

00:00:04.960 saying no what i was basically trying to say is like um what i was saying is that's the toxic

00:00:09.920 side of the whole toxic masculinity thing is when he wants to like apply himself in a way

00:00:14.480 where he's not trying to hear anything else that's basically or just trying to be cruel

00:00:18.960 i mean it just sounds cruel like someone you say you're gonna make something this is an example

00:00:22.720 don't worry i don't understand the situation oh you mean he's undermining you how is yeah that's

00:00:28.800 what i kind of mean like that's what i take from that from toxic masculinity you offer something

00:00:33.600 and he tells you no like you send the food away because i've heard situations like that right

00:00:38.560 where what if it was bad put it in the bin and just don't want to eat it i just think that's like

00:00:46.240 toxically masculine narcissistic that's a bit far i think the word narcissistic gets thrown around way

00:00:51.920 too quick and easy personally i do think that you know people don't they're not most of us are not

00:00:57.440 psychologists and we can't just label someone a narcissist because of a behavior which we think

00:01:02.000 they're not considering our feelings personally i use that word very seldom i feel like when i when

00:01:08.240 i touched on toxic masculinity it got bit misconstrued because i didn't say not having a conversation was

00:01:13.760 toxic i mean like exerting your dominance because a woman is um should be subservient in a lot of 0.99

00:01:20.880 different ways and i feel like um ascertain your dominance in a way that makes her feel

00:01:25.360 um unheard um or just like not scared scared is too much of a word but do you understand what i'm

00:01:31.680 saying like she can't can't be heard so if he's so dominant that she doesn't feel heard that's

00:01:35.520 toxically masculine a man's role as well as to provide and protect us to make a woman feel safe

00:01:40.240 to do her womanly duties and if you don't feel safe that is being toxically don't don't you think 0.99

00:01:44.720 women change how they feel every day like one way i mean we all have a friend one day she's with her 1.00

00:01:50.480 boyfriend the next day she hates him but what's her boyfriend she's in love with him what's she

00:01:56.080 what's she doing to contribute to the situation but we have a lot of things going on inside

00:02:00.240 like we have a period every month that does a lot but you know what i think you don't always have to

00:02:06.720 act on your emotions you know you could just have the emotion yeah you don't mean you gotta

00:02:10.640 always act upon it and i think that's where we're very destructive when we when we're very

00:02:16.000 impulsive the moment we feel something we thought we have to act on it you know just sometimes ride

00:02:20.240 it out just wait to see if that feeling change if another feeling could come and most time it will

00:02:27.200 i feel i feel like sorry just to say one last thing i feel like um feeling safe in a situation

00:02:32.480 um is something that varies like as you said earlier love varies and all these kind of things but for

00:02:36.400 example no relationship is perfect you're gonna have arguments you're gonna have times where you're like

00:02:40.400 oh i hate him same thing where you said that our parents might have that but if the overall

00:02:44.480 ambience is safety and all these kind of things like variance is allowable we're all humans at the

00:02:48.800 end of the day i don't even what did you i don't even understand what you just said oh my gosh um

00:02:57.120 i was just touching on the fact that um you said um

00:03:03.680 i remember oh no i was just um i was just talking about i think you said um women change how 1.00

00:03:08.880 they feel all the time and i said that um something like stability and safety is a

00:03:14.960 relationship is going to have variance but stability and safety is not something that um

00:03:19.280 unless you have like a really abusive um person or something like that that is a basis of the

00:03:23.680 relationship and the ups and downs is just what happens in that safe space yeah but i i think women 1.00

00:03:28.960 don't even want stability and when it comes to safety if he's not abusing you you're safe just because you

00:03:34.640 feel like safety is not just that safety is um emotional safety being knowing that you can go

00:03:40.480 and have a conversation with your man and he's going to um listen to what you're saying and all

00:03:45.840 these kind of things safety comes in many different forms and the women you don't want stability like 1.00

00:03:50.080 men aren't here to listen to our problems but you're building a future with that man why are you 0.88

00:03:53.600 always going to your goals so say if there's two men that have a problem with each other

00:03:58.400 right what would they do two grown men have a problem with each other about something what would

00:04:06.320 they do i mean depends they might fight what would you think oh so you think they're just gonna punch

00:04:13.280 each other in the face straight away they would have a conversation it's not just females it's just 1.00

00:04:17.840 grown adults generally if you're gonna be grown i know i want stability so bad i do because i i

00:04:25.680 literally see that as happiness yeah and i think like women say that but then when we a lot of 1.00

00:04:30.240 times when we talk about our exes like we're with the ones that are the most instable for the longest

00:04:34.720 so it's like do i watch what we say do i watch what we say as women or do i watch what we do

00:04:40.000 because i know i definitely do want stability and my ex isn't and i was very young as well but that's

00:04:48.640 well i don't i don't know i'm not talking about you personally i'm talking about i'm talking about

00:04:51.840 women in general yeah we don't we don't pick stability but we don't know every single woman 1.00

00:04:56.480 mostly don't financial stability is the main stability that they really would go for uh but

00:05:02.800 in regards to a guy that's kind of i think no one one wants a walkover that's the thing you don't want

00:05:09.200 a guy that you can control yeah i don't think that that that's not um i don't think that that that

00:05:14.480 isn't stable like i would say my uh my gentleman friend that's in the cart currently uh he's very

00:05:20.720 stable and i would only know i would only know that i am i would only i learn from you know i

00:05:30.320 learned a lot from my previous relationship and i spent a lot of time on my own so from that i

00:05:34.720 know i don't want anymore and this guy is super stable and somebody might call it boring but i like

00:05:39.360 it yeah but i think that's like men kind of see that as a problem because like in our youth when we

00:05:44.000 have the most of what men value we pick the bad boys and then you know when we're older and we have

00:05:49.520 kids then we say oh now i want a stable guy yeah i think that i think that that's really tricky and

00:05:54.480 for me um i mean you know i'm 35 i'm not i wouldn't say i'm a spring chicken perhaps but i i'm definitely

00:06:01.200 in my prime maybe not like from a biological standpoint in my prime because you know i got

00:06:06.160 maybe like took like a year left before before whatever um but i feel more i feel great i feel my

00:06:12.160 most sexy i feel my most confident i feel my you know i feel like i've really yeah and i mean you look

00:06:18.080 great but it's still not but it's still not what men value because men value youth and they value

00:06:22.720 purity yeah for sure and it's just when you're older you can't offer that anymore so it's like

00:06:27.520 when we have the most to offer we pick the most unstable guys yeah or we're already sucked into

00:06:32.000 that with the most yeah and it's not it's not just you know this panel like i did street inter

00:06:37.040 i do street interviews all the time and that's always what people say around 30 that's when they

00:06:40.400 switch from the the bad boys to the stable guys do you think that women feel like they can save men 1.00

00:06:45.600 like they feel like they can fix him i think i think women okay why why do we watch the kardashians 1.00

00:06:51.040 and not the nba i mean women like drama women like drama but they do yeah for sure watching drama 0.99

00:06:59.920 do you yeah but i don't personally like it in my life it gives me headache yeah yeah because i i don't

00:07:05.760 know i definitely don't want any drama i've never really wanted drama but i think that yeah watch what you

00:07:11.360 say or watch what you do right so who do we pick well that's it i don't watch soap operas and again

00:07:16.080 i think even when people watch soap operas all the time sometimes you end up not realizing but kind of

00:07:20.720 playing out your own kind of soap opera you know because you have that kind of mindset of that is

00:07:25.760 how life is but and yeah there is that there is that fine line i suppose between stability and boredom

00:07:31.440 like me i am a person that enjoys spontaneity and not like routine that's one of the reasons why i work for

00:07:38.080 myself because i don't like just like this you know same time working every day like this mundane

00:07:43.680 kind of reality so i do think that it is important to kind of find someone that's also willing to

00:07:49.680 kind of not just be that you know very routine everything the same because that that does become boring

00:07:55.280 um i'm going to read super chats for a second

00:08:04.880 you

JustPearlyThings - May 29, 2023

Modern Women Can’t Define Masculinity

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript