Modern Women Cherish INSTAGRAM Than Relationship
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
191.01775
Summary
In this episode, we talk about cheating, social media, cheating in relationships and why we should or shouldn t cheat in the first place. We are joined by Andrea, who is a dentist and is in the middle of a divorce.
Transcript
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Would you delete your Instagram for the right guy?
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I mean, if a guy wanted me to delete my Instagram, I'd be like, whoa.
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He just says I don't date women with Instagrams.
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If he wants a wife and he's ready to like, and we know that this is legit, then why not?
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But at the same time, he should trust and know me by that time that I'm not, that is not what about.
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I'd just rather just like, you know, maybe I don't want to date a guy that goes to clubs.
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Would you just give it up because he's the right guy?
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I'm in the middle of a divorce because I was cheated by my husband.
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And I don't agree with what he was saying that women, when they want to cheat, they will plan
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I think even women or men, if they want to cheat, they will do it no matter the reason.
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I don't think, I don't think the reason is important.
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And I would not delete something for someone at the beginning because this is something
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You want me to do what you want, but I don't have any guarantee that you're going to be
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Because I don't think our relationship is based on that.
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What if you just said this is a boundary for me?
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You think it's manipulative to ask you to delete Instagram?
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Because I don't think we trust each other so much at the beginning.
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Is it manipulative if I say I don't date guys that go to clubs?
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In a way, yeah, because you don't date that type of men.
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He says, the only one thing I need, I just need the Instagram off the phone.
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I run my business through my Instagram and that would be giving away something that's dear
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to me and important and where I spend a lot of my time as well with work.
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Coercive is where someone goes, if I give you this, then...
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Or if you do this for me, then I'll give you that.
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Then you get something else as a reward, perhaps.
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Coercion is like trying to manipulate or to maneuver people into a shape that you want
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Like coercion is actually against the law in relationships.
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I don't make the law, but coercion is a very old word.
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Let's get the dictionary out and look at coercion.
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You said, if I give you this, you give me this.
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There's many ways of naming something that is the same action.
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It's like we change the definitions of things and we like change words.
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So that's the one part missed in your definition.
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You didn't say, if I give you this, you have to give me this by force.
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But if they don't want to have a relationship with you because you will not give up your Instagram, then...
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But his whole point is you're using a very strong word.
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I'm saying that in a relationship situation, it has been used as being defined as a crime.
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But for me, I don't receive coercion well like that.
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You know, someone trying to trade off something for something else.
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I don't think I make money off Instagram a month.
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Oh, so you wouldn't even give it up even though you don't make money off of it?
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So I put my work on there and it's my personal gallery.
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So it's my way of putting my work out into the world.
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What if he got you an art studio and said you can hang them up here?
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I think the way you phrased it is very easy for them to wiggle out of the answer.
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Do you post personal pictures or stuff on the Instagram?
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No, my work was an exhibition, so I put myself...
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Okay, but the point is, if it's a work thing, that's different.
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We're not talking about something you use for work or you use to make money.
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We're saying like the Instagram that you use to post your selfies when you turn your back,
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Okay, so you do have personal things on your...
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It's like you're guys weeding out of this answer.
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I would not delete something if someone asked me to just because there was a relationship being dangled.
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because I use mine for work and I don't post personal stuff.
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I don't post my family, friends and things like this.
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And if it was just personal, I will give it away because I think nowadays it's hard to get a relationship,
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but it's even harder to protect and maintain it.
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And if it gets to the point, like nowadays with the mindset I have,
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I'll give like my password or something like this to give the person like the trust,
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you know, because nowadays I think people are not willing,
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they want the relationship, but they're not willing to do sacrifices to maintain it.
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He says, I'll pay you what you're getting paid now.
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If he's the guy I intend to marry and have kids with, I would do that.
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I would do that because nowadays, like for me, like family and protect family
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And if he can cover like the cause and things like this, okay,
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Would you be willing to go down in lifestyle for the right guy?
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Not down because I will find a way to put him up.
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I think work as a woman is also like, what do you mean?
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No, but you're saying like before or with the guy.
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Would you delete your Instagram for the right guy?
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No, but this is, but this is exactly what I was saying.
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It's just because me, I say like, I do say, yes, I did cheat.
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It doesn't make me, it doesn't make me the wrong person.
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Like all of these people that they don't say, they don't because I'm not judging.
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Okay, the reason I'm not in a relationship, it's just because there is no one deserving
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Okay, so every guy you meet deserves, so if you dated any of these three guys here,
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four guys, five guys in this room, they all should be cheated on.
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I really believe that relationship is very simple.
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Like, it just, you talk, you just need to talk.
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If there is something you don't like, you just move on.
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So I'm asking you if you liked everything about the guy.
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I don't even have Instagram part-time, like full-time.
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My Snapchat is new, I just delete my Snapchat all the time.
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I'll even change when I'm like, there is no way to find me.
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Because I know you have Snapchat, so would you delete it?
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And I will stop cheating if it's the right one.
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No, and it's going to be like, it's going to be, oh, it's fine.
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But just because I have the post to say, oh, yeah, she's a cheater.
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I'm saying, I don't think like women would clap and laugh as much if it was a guy saying that.
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I think you get more leeway because you're a chick.
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If a guy, if I start to date a guy and he's like, oh, I want to continue to, you want to
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get serious, but I don't want you to be on Instagram.
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I'll be like, yeah, but when you met me, you would see what I do of like, and if I put
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What if when you met him, he was sleeping with other chicks, but you want him to stop sleeping
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Is it typically you start with the relationship or a situationship first?
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If you're sleeping with other chicks or you have Instagram, that's two completely different
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It's very similar because women and Instagram is an open profile for any man to message
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They got the attention of high value men or the best guy they could get.
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How have men reproduced historically by screwing a bunch of chicks?
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Women had to get the attention from the best guy they can't could.
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Men had to screw as many chicks and impregnate them and protect them.
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That's why, that's why I think it's similar because it's, but you're, you're fulfilling
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both of your mating strategies when it comes to like a, your biological level.
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So, so that's why since Instagram's the number one dating app and if, if he wanted Drake,
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Kanye, any of them could message you, I'm not saying they will, but I'm saying they
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That's, that's why I'm saying it's, it's basically an invitation for any guy to message you at
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But like, for example, I think it depends as well.
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If I don't know you, a lot of people I don't know, I won't accept you on it.
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That also has to do with my job whatsoever, blah, blah, blah.
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So, but the people that follow you, they could still message you, right?
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That's, that's why I think it's similar because I think that sex, um, sex is to men, like attention
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But my point though, is that that's how we survived.
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We could not survive unless we got the attention of the best guy we could, that could protect
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Men could not pass on their genes without screwing a bunch of chicks.
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So my, you, you said he did that, like that you were doing that when you met him.
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And I'm, and my point is that he was sleeping with other people when he met you.
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I'm just like, I'm saying Pearl, Pearl, you're using too much logic here.
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No, I'm just still thinking like, I don't know.
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When you go and decide to have a relationship, you just say, okay, you're willing to do this.
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My point is he's asking you, this is the right guy.
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If you have a valid reason, if you have a proper valid reason why you want me to get off it.
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And if you want the relationship, you just do it.
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And Pearl said, he has the reason, but it's not valid to you.
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I think we're putting too much power on Instagram, no?
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Like I think about a lot of things when you say like a would you, would you.
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I don't know if you can always say I would or I would not.
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If you're not actually in that situation itself.
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Oh, but if you want, if he doesn't want you to have Instagram, I wouldn't.
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If you ask a guy, will you delete the Instagram for me?
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Or he has another Instagram that you don't know about.
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If he complied to everything a woman says, like something is like is wrong.
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He might have bended to your rules for that curve.
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My last relationship and the most healthy I had to a point.
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But do you need to have Instagram to make money out of it?
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You should all go through the proper cheating to understand some stuff.
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And I closed my, I deactivated my account as well.
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Because there is no reason, any reason at all for her to like upload pictures on Instagram.
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Maybe family, friends, if she lives abroad whatsoever.
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For my friends, she can send her mother on WhatsApp.
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And because she was like a bit famous for what she was doing in an international level.
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So yeah, I didn't want all these people to just follow her and watch her.
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I'm saying toxic because it was like overruled.
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If she really like wants you, she will understand on her own.
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Like was it a business Instagram or because you said she was known internationally?
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It was a bit of promotion, but she wasn't like actively making money from Instagram itself.
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Can I ask how long the relationship last after this?
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Do you guys think that a man should be allowed to go to a strip club in a relationship?
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We don't have to do it back if we allow and we agree with this.
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Have you guys ever had a celebrity DM you or message you?
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I dated, I don't know if he's technically a celebrity, but he's well known in his field.
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No, but I just, back in the days I met someone that is actually really, really famous now.
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So, out of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven random women that none of you knew each other, right?
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That's why guys don't want you to have Instagram.
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Like, that's why, like, that's why it's cheating.
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Because out of seven random chicks, more than half have been messaged by a celebrity.
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And so when you're in a relationship, a guy can message you at any time and ruin it.
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But also just on that, surely it's what you do in response, whether you like delete, block, don't get involved, right?
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Would you, all right, well, what if the roles were reversed?
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Would you want your boyfriend to go to a party where every single girl wants to sleep with him?
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But it's not quite the same thing because one is physical there in your face.
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He just wants to see the women they message him.
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Guys from the men, have any of you been messaged by a celebrity woman?
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Anyone want to give me the names who messaged you?
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Right now, I don't even know how to pronounce his name.
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You know, today saying things straight, raw, straight.
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You're very brave, you know, today saying things straight, raw, straight.