Modern Women Cherish INSTAGRAM Than Relationship
Episode Stats
Words per minute
191.01775
Harmful content
Misogyny
25
sentences flagged
Hate speech
9
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, we talk about cheating, social media, cheating in relationships and why we should or shouldn t cheat in the first place. We are joined by Andrea, who is a dentist and is in the middle of a divorce.
Transcript
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Would you delete your Instagram for the right guy?
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I mean, if a guy wanted me to delete my Instagram, I'd be like, whoa.
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He just says I don't date women with Instagrams.
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If he wants a wife and he's ready to like, and we know that this is legit, then why not?
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But at the same time, he should trust and know me by that time that I'm not, that is not what about.
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I'd just rather just like, you know, maybe I don't want to date a guy that goes to clubs.
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Would you just give it up because he's the right guy?
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I'm in the middle of a divorce because I was cheated by my husband.
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And I don't agree with what he was saying that women, when they want to cheat, they will plan
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I think even women or men, if they want to cheat, they will do it no matter the reason.
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I don't think, I don't think the reason is important.
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And I would not delete something for someone at the beginning because this is something
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You want me to do what you want, but I don't have any guarantee that you're going to be
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Because I don't think our relationship is based on that.
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What if you just said this is a boundary for me?
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You think it's manipulative to ask you to delete Instagram?
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Because I don't think we trust each other so much at the beginning.
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Is it manipulative if I say I don't date guys that go to clubs?
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In a way, yeah, because you don't date that type of men.
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He says, the only one thing I need, I just need the Instagram off the phone.
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I run my business through my Instagram and that would be giving away something that's dear
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to me and important and where I spend a lot of my time as well with work.
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Coercive is where someone goes, if I give you this, then...
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Or if you do this for me, then I'll give you that.
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Then you get something else as a reward, perhaps.
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Coercion is like trying to manipulate or to maneuver people into a shape that you want
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Like coercion is actually against the law in relationships.
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I don't make the law, but coercion is a very old word.
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Let's get the dictionary out and look at coercion.
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You said, if I give you this, you give me this.
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There's many ways of naming something that is the same action.
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It's like we change the definitions of things and we like change words.
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So that's the one part missed in your definition.
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You didn't say, if I give you this, you have to give me this by force.
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But if they don't want to have a relationship with you because you will not give up your Instagram, then...
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But his whole point is you're using a very strong word.
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I'm saying that in a relationship situation, it has been used as being defined as a crime.
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But for me, I don't receive coercion well like that.
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You know, someone trying to trade off something for something else.
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I don't think I make money off Instagram a month.
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Oh, so you wouldn't even give it up even though you don't make money off of it?
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So I put my work on there and it's my personal gallery.
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So it's my way of putting my work out into the world.
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What if he got you an art studio and said you can hang them up here?
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I think the way you phrased it is very easy for them to wiggle out of the answer.
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Do you post personal pictures or stuff on the Instagram?
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No, my work was an exhibition, so I put myself...
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Okay, but the point is, if it's a work thing, that's different.
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We're not talking about something you use for work or you use to make money.
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We're saying like the Instagram that you use to post your selfies when you turn your back,
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Okay, so you do have personal things on your...
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It's like you're guys weeding out of this answer.
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I would not delete something if someone asked me to just because there was a relationship being dangled.
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because I use mine for work and I don't post personal stuff.
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I don't post my family, friends and things like this.
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And if it was just personal, I will give it away because I think nowadays it's hard to get a relationship,
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but it's even harder to protect and maintain it.
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And if it gets to the point, like nowadays with the mindset I have,
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I'll give like my password or something like this to give the person like the trust,
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you know, because nowadays I think people are not willing,
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they want the relationship, but they're not willing to do sacrifices to maintain it.
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He says, I'll pay you what you're getting paid now.
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If he's the guy I intend to marry and have kids with, I would do that.
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I would do that because nowadays, like for me, like family and protect family
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And if he can cover like the cause and things like this, okay,
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Would you be willing to go down in lifestyle for the right guy?
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Not down because I will find a way to put him up.
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I think work as a woman is also like, what do you mean?
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No, but you're saying like before or with the guy.
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Would you delete your Instagram for the right guy?
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No, but this is, but this is exactly what I was saying.
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It's just because me, I say like, I do say, yes, I did cheat.
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It doesn't make me, it doesn't make me the wrong person.
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Like all of these people that they don't say, they don't because I'm not judging.
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Okay, the reason I'm not in a relationship, it's just because there is no one deserving
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Okay, so every guy you meet deserves, so if you dated any of these three guys here,
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four guys, five guys in this room, they all should be cheated on.
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I really believe that relationship is very simple.
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Like, it just, you talk, you just need to talk.
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If there is something you don't like, you just move on.
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So I'm asking you if you liked everything about the guy.
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I don't even have Instagram part-time, like full-time.
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My Snapchat is new, I just delete my Snapchat all the time.
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I'll even change when I'm like, there is no way to find me.
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Because I know you have Snapchat, so would you delete it?
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And I will stop cheating if it's the right one.
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No, and it's going to be like, it's going to be, oh, it's fine.
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But just because I have the post to say, oh, yeah, she's a cheater.
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I'm saying, I don't think like women would clap and laugh as much if it was a guy saying that.
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I think you get more leeway because you're a chick.
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If a guy, if I start to date a guy and he's like, oh, I want to continue to, you want to
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get serious, but I don't want you to be on Instagram.
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I'll be like, yeah, but when you met me, you would see what I do of like, and if I put
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What if when you met him, he was sleeping with other chicks, but you want him to stop sleeping
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Is it typically you start with the relationship or a situationship first?
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If you're sleeping with other chicks or you have Instagram, that's two completely different
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It's very similar because women and Instagram is an open profile for any man to message
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They got the attention of high value men or the best guy they could get.
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How have men reproduced historically by screwing a bunch of chicks?
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Women had to get the attention from the best guy they can't could.
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Men had to screw as many chicks and impregnate them and protect them.
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That's why, that's why I think it's similar because it's, but you're, you're fulfilling
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both of your mating strategies when it comes to like a, your biological level.
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So, so that's why since Instagram's the number one dating app and if, if he wanted Drake,
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Kanye, any of them could message you, I'm not saying they will, but I'm saying they
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That's, that's why I'm saying it's, it's basically an invitation for any guy to message you at
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But like, for example, I think it depends as well.
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If I don't know you, a lot of people I don't know, I won't accept you on it.
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That also has to do with my job whatsoever, blah, blah, blah.
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So, but the people that follow you, they could still message you, right?
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That's, that's why I think it's similar because I think that sex, um, sex is to men, like attention
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But my point though, is that that's how we survived.
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We could not survive unless we got the attention of the best guy we could, that could protect
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Men could not pass on their genes without screwing a bunch of chicks.
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So my, you, you said he did that, like that you were doing that when you met him.
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And I'm, and my point is that he was sleeping with other people when he met you.
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I'm just like, I'm saying Pearl, Pearl, you're using too much logic here.
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No, I'm just still thinking like, I don't know.
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When you go and decide to have a relationship, you just say, okay, you're willing to do this.
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My point is he's asking you, this is the right guy.
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If you have a valid reason, if you have a proper valid reason why you want me to get off it.
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And if you want the relationship, you just do it.
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And Pearl said, he has the reason, but it's not valid to you.
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I think we're putting too much power on Instagram, no?
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Like I think about a lot of things when you say like a would you, would you.
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I don't know if you can always say I would or I would not.
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If you're not actually in that situation itself.
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Oh, but if you want, if he doesn't want you to have Instagram, I wouldn't.
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If you ask a guy, will you delete the Instagram for me?
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Or he has another Instagram that you don't know about.
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If he complied to everything a woman says, like something is like is wrong.
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00:16:01.500
He might have bended to your rules for that curve.
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My last relationship and the most healthy I had to a point.
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Why did you ask her to delete her Instagram?
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But do you need to have Instagram to make money out of it?
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You should all go through the proper cheating to understand some stuff.
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And I closed my, I deactivated my account as well.
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Because there is no reason, any reason at all for her to like upload pictures on Instagram.
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Maybe family, friends, if she lives abroad whatsoever.
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For my friends, she can send her mother on WhatsApp.
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And because she was like a bit famous for what she was doing in an international level.
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So yeah, I didn't want all these people to just follow her and watch her.
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I'm saying toxic because it was like overruled.
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If she really like wants you, she will understand on her own.
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Like was it a business Instagram or because you said she was known internationally?
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It was a bit of promotion, but she wasn't like actively making money from Instagram itself.
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Can I ask how long the relationship last after this?
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Do you guys think that a man should be allowed to go to a strip club in a relationship?
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We don't have to do it back if we allow and we agree with this.
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Have you guys ever had a celebrity DM you or message you?
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I dated, I don't know if he's technically a celebrity, but he's well known in his field.
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No, but I just, back in the days I met someone that is actually really, really famous now.
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So, out of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven random women that none of you knew each other, right?
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That's why guys don't want you to have Instagram.
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Like, that's why, like, that's why it's cheating.
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Because out of seven random chicks, more than half have been messaged by a celebrity.
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And so when you're in a relationship, a guy can message you at any time and ruin it.
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But also just on that, surely it's what you do in response, whether you like delete, block, don't get involved, right?
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Would you, all right, well, what if the roles were reversed?
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Would you want your boyfriend to go to a party where every single girl wants to sleep with him?
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But it's not quite the same thing because one is physical there in your face.
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He just wants to see the women they message him.
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Guys from the men, have any of you been messaged by a celebrity woman?
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Anyone want to give me the names who messaged you?
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Right now, I don't even know how to pronounce his name.
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You know, today saying things straight, raw, straight.
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You're very brave, you know, today saying things straight, raw, straight.