JustPearlyThings - August 08, 2023


Modern Women Date Younger Men for This Purpose


Episode Stats


Length

22 minutes

Words per minute

202.72945

Word count

4,610

Sentence count

392

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

26

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Is dating someone younger than your ex a win or a loss? Is it better than dating your ex if he is more attractive than your current partner? Do you want to date a younger person if they are more attractive? Does age really matter when it comes to dating?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Is dating a younger, more attractive man than your ex considered a win?
00:00:04.460 Why or why not?
00:00:07.320 Doesn't it depend on how he treats you and what person he is,
00:00:10.820 how he carries himself, whether he's holding doors open for you,
00:00:15.180 whether all those nice things that you like from a man to be treated like a woman,
00:00:21.400 is he doing those things?
00:00:23.160 Does age really matter?
00:00:24.600 Can I just say, if I was to date a younger guy than I was dating or I'm dating,
00:00:31.000 whatever the situation may be, I'd probably catch a case.
00:00:34.040 Yeah, you're young now.
00:00:35.400 You're at that.
00:00:37.160 It's crazy.
00:00:38.700 I've got a bit of leeway.
00:00:40.280 You've got no leeway.
00:00:41.380 What are you talking about?
00:00:42.780 The question's based on Tom Brady and Giselle.
00:00:47.440 Okay.
00:00:47.900 What's catch a case?
00:00:48.880 She was dating a 24-year-old.
00:00:50.580 What do you mean catch a case?
00:00:51.480 How old is she? 0.98
00:00:52.260 She's 40-something.
00:00:53.600 I mean, I don't know if I'd want to date a man that's that much younger
00:00:58.420 because it takes men a while.
00:01:01.600 They have to get some things out of their system before they settle down.
00:01:04.800 And, yeah, they mature a lot slower.
00:01:07.920 I don't know if I'd want to do that.
00:01:09.500 No, but then you've got to look at it as,
00:01:11.360 are you actually looking to have a,
00:01:12.640 are you, for this younger person,
00:01:14.120 you're actually looking to have a relationship?
00:01:15.800 I don't date without having a relationship.
00:01:18.560 I don't get involved with anyone unless I see a relationship potential.
00:01:22.160 I don't do that.
00:01:23.560 Sorry.
00:01:23.980 One thing that I would point out is women typically don't want younger men 1.00
00:01:28.420 and attractive is somewhat secondary.
00:01:31.640 I think for men, if they had a, you know,
00:01:35.220 a younger, more attractive new person than their ex,
00:01:38.960 then it would be a win for them
00:01:40.080 because that is kind of their dating metric.
00:01:41.860 That's what they look for.
00:01:43.420 Whereas with women, I would typically look for someone that's older, 1.00
00:01:46.460 like my partner's a little older than me,
00:01:48.640 and attraction, you know,
00:01:51.720 a lot of times women can replace that. 1.00
00:01:54.740 For example, you know, status or money.
00:01:58.100 Whereas with men, if you're not attractive,
00:01:59.580 they won't even give you the time of day.
00:02:01.160 So the question was kind of asked in reverse.
00:02:04.120 It wouldn't be, you know, a win for women, 1.00
00:02:06.260 but definitely for men.
00:02:07.300 I think that would be a win for women if the younger person was more mature. 1.00
00:02:18.220 Because sometimes you get a younger man who's more mature
00:02:20.920 than the older man you've left.
00:02:22.780 Is it rare?
00:02:23.740 It's rare though, isn't it?
00:02:25.500 I'm a rarity.
00:02:27.460 Yeah, but is the man rare?
00:02:29.660 I know you're a rarity, but...
00:02:31.440 No, sometimes, there's a lot of good young men out there.
00:02:33.660 No, but then if you're actively going out seeking a younger guy, 0.99
00:02:36.780 saying, oh yeah, this is going to make my husband thought shit, 0.98
00:02:40.160 like, I'm going to go with that, 1.00
00:02:41.640 he's going to be like, oh, he's probably more sexually active,
00:02:44.340 probably more good looking,
00:02:45.400 probably has better things coming for him.
00:02:47.000 I think that's kind of, that's kind of low-key tapped.
00:02:49.580 Like, high-key, in fact.
00:02:50.960 Like, if you're thinking about getting with someone
00:02:53.140 to degrade someone that you've been with before,
00:02:54.980 it kind of just shows your character.
00:02:56.380 And I don't think that's how we should be approaching it,
00:02:58.340 especially right now.
00:02:59.260 And as women, I don't think that's how we should approach it 0.99
00:03:01.300 before we get there with our stuff we don't want to.
00:03:02.720 I agree.
00:03:03.280 I think that's getting with someone for a different reason.
00:03:05.380 That's slag behavior. 1.00
00:03:06.480 Oh! 0.82
00:03:07.860 Antti, don't you think,
00:03:09.260 if it's like a 40-year-old woman and a 25-year-old man,
00:03:13.180 what future could there be,
00:03:15.280 no matter how nice of a young man he is? 0.87
00:03:17.380 She'll get good sex for about 10 years before he leaves her. 1.00
00:03:21.300 I'll be up for that. 0.89
00:03:24.000 What can I...
00:03:24.440 Clark, then we went to the next one.
00:03:26.620 But no, I mean...
00:03:28.240 Okay.
00:03:30.300 Jill, would you say that's a win, then, for her?
00:03:31.960 Oh, it's a win for her.
00:03:33.280 Good on her.
00:03:36.020 That's what I was saying.
00:03:38.980 They talk about equality, innit?
00:03:40.800 And that younger man, well, good on him.
00:03:43.300 He's out there with an older woman who's got a bit of dosh. 1.00
00:03:45.380 Why not?
00:03:46.540 I think some men like older women. 0.99
00:03:50.180 And I don't know whether it's mummy issues,
00:03:51.760 but I feel like they like to be mothered.
00:03:53.280 And I think older women tend to wrap them up and look after them in that sense. 1.00
00:04:00.700 No, I just think that older women knows how to look after a man rather than young people nowadays. 0.99
00:04:05.440 So what you might see as mothering might be just a traditional woman looking after a man. 1.00
00:04:09.700 And that's what it is.
00:04:10.900 Because if you get an older woman there, 1.00
00:04:12.600 and she decides to go and give her man dinner,
00:04:15.860 go and cook dinner and put it on the tray,
00:04:17.340 you'll be like,
00:04:17.840 see what I mean?
00:04:19.640 And you might think,
00:04:20.380 oh, she's mothering him.
00:04:21.240 But that's what women do. 1.00
00:04:22.780 Well, and younger guys,
00:04:24.360 like the guys that I know that will go for older women, 0.89
00:04:27.180 it's typically because they want casual sex.
00:04:29.200 And they just think it's easier to get it from them. 0.61
00:04:31.340 Yeah, that's what I said. 0.66
00:04:32.120 Good sex for 10 years. 0.61
00:04:33.120 Yeah, you're right. 0.80
00:04:34.120 That's what I love.
00:04:34.740 And if it lasts longer,
00:04:38.540 that's a bonus.
00:04:41.580 Would you guys ever date someone for a long period of time,
00:04:44.180 knowing there's no long-term future?
00:04:47.960 What being a situationship, basically?
00:04:51.300 No.
00:04:51.940 No.
00:04:52.420 Absolutely not.
00:04:53.300 Waste of time.
00:04:54.060 You're wasting your youth.
00:04:55.380 No.
00:04:55.940 I'd do it.
00:04:56.560 I'd do it.
00:04:57.760 I'd do it.
00:04:58.660 If I didn't have nightly bed to do it, I'd do it.
00:05:00.240 Don't you think you may be passing past,
00:05:02.480 like someone who's right for you,
00:05:04.140 you may miss them whilst wasting your time on someone else.
00:05:06.800 If you miss them, it's like a bus, isn't it?
00:05:08.400 Catch them again.
00:05:09.240 Why?
00:05:09.540 I said, if you miss them.
00:05:10.520 No, she was saying that.
00:05:11.820 I'd rather.
00:05:12.380 Next one comes along.
00:05:13.320 Yeah, because, I'm sorry,
00:05:14.740 but if you're with someone and you just think,
00:05:16.420 you know what?
00:05:17.140 I mean, just thinking realistically,
00:05:19.160 you either don't have anyone and let time fast you by,
00:05:23.000 and then all yous are out there with all your roses
00:05:25.540 and your lips and whatever,
00:05:26.880 or you find a young man and you just think,
00:05:29.480 you know what?
00:05:29.840 I've got you for five years,
00:05:30.920 or I've got a man for five years,
00:05:32.180 and you just enjoy yourself.
00:05:33.000 You're not looking for nothing else.
00:05:34.600 You might be a busy businesswoman 0.97
00:05:36.440 that don't want a relationship,
00:05:38.160 and you might have come to an agreement with someone.
00:05:40.280 Do you know what?
00:05:40.720 We're just going to see each other,
00:05:42.880 but we've got five, ten years to waste.
00:05:45.500 I personally think that only work for a short period of time.
00:05:48.080 You can only be so uncertain for a short period of time,
00:05:50.520 and that initially happens at the beginning.
00:05:52.180 Maybe like, give it three, four months,
00:05:54.060 you'll probably start liking them
00:05:55.240 and being like, yeah, I want to get into a relationship,
00:05:56.560 but then they're going to use the fact
00:05:57.960 that you went into a relationship
00:05:58.980 without no intention of getting together in the future
00:06:01.260 to basically go, yeah, nah, I'm not really getting into one.
00:06:04.600 That's one of the main mistakes that women make. 1.00
00:06:06.620 That is.
00:06:07.320 So I think that only works for a short period of time.
00:06:09.300 You can only be uncertain for a very short period of time.
00:06:12.000 Sooner or later, you will end up liking the person,
00:06:14.080 believe it or not.
00:06:14.660 How soon will you guys have that conversation
00:06:16.800 of where something is going?
00:06:20.540 Is that something you guys do on the first date,
00:06:22.740 third date, a month in?
00:06:24.980 Depends who they are.
00:06:27.220 Does it not depend on before you even get to that point,
00:06:30.800 knowing where you're actually at
00:06:32.300 in terms of wanting a relationship or not?
00:06:35.420 Well, I'm saying if you want to be in something long-term
00:06:38.620 and you meet a guy and go on a date with him,
00:06:41.540 how long until you ask him where it's going?
00:06:43.140 For me personally, it would be before we become intimate
00:06:47.740 or like I shed that kind of energy.
00:06:51.680 Can I just say something before you become intimate?
00:06:54.480 So how many dates are you going to go on
00:06:55.480 before you become intimate?
00:06:56.940 I'm just thinking about the guy could be taking you out
00:06:58.800 like four or five times
00:06:59.900 and then you're going to turn around and say,
00:07:01.540 nah, I'll be vexed if I was a man.
00:07:03.780 I'm taking you out on five dates
00:07:05.320 and you're going to turn me out getting that and four.
00:07:06.800 I'm going to be vexed.
00:07:07.880 Let's be honest.
00:07:08.440 I'm going to be vexed. 0.99
00:07:09.520 Damn, auntie, you're really dating. 0.99
00:07:11.560 You're going to get active on the bed. 1.00
00:07:13.860 No, it's true.
00:07:15.220 Because you've got,
00:07:16.100 all right, then think about it from a man's point of view.
00:07:17.620 You like this girl
00:07:18.360 and you're talking,
00:07:19.760 you're going to take her out on these dates 1.00
00:07:21.380 and then after the fifth date,
00:07:22.920 she's going to be like,
00:07:23.560 you know what,
00:07:24.560 I can't really see a future.
00:07:26.160 I'll be like, give my money back.
00:07:27.700 You know what I mean?
00:07:28.320 I'm wasting my money on you.
00:07:29.580 Give my money back.
00:07:30.540 I think it should be done like from day one.
00:07:32.860 From the time you started talking like,
00:07:34.180 yeah, what's your name?
00:07:35.200 And I'm dating with intention.
00:07:36.580 You either like me or you don't like me,
00:07:37.720 move on.
00:07:38.640 But to go on dates
00:07:39.580 and then turn around and say,
00:07:41.820 he should keep all the receipts
00:07:43.820 and ask his money back,
00:07:44.760 or at least 50%.
00:07:45.960 But for someone to say that
00:07:47.080 you really must not have liked the dates like that,
00:07:48.860 you're probably just focusing on trying to get
00:07:50.480 a different type of intimacy with a person.
00:07:53.020 No, the question was,
00:07:54.320 how long would it be before,
00:07:55.900 like if you're going to get serious with someone?
00:07:58.240 So to go on dates,
00:07:59.460 she's asking when.
00:08:00.560 Now I remember I said to someone
00:08:01.780 that when you meet someone,
00:08:02.900 they want to take you out,
00:08:03.740 and say,
00:08:04.180 you know,
00:08:04.820 what are your intentions towards me?
00:08:06.140 I'm dating with the intention
00:08:07.480 before you even go out on a date.
00:08:09.380 From the time you're going out on a date,
00:08:11.200 you're giving him false hope.
00:08:13.460 You're giving the man false hope.
00:08:14.660 From the time you said,
00:08:15.320 yes,
00:08:15.480 I'm going to go on a date,
00:08:16.220 you think,
00:08:16.480 yeah,
00:08:16.720 I'm in there.
00:08:17.480 And then the next date,
00:08:18.320 yeah,
00:08:18.540 I'm in there.
00:08:19.100 I'm getting close on clock.
00:08:20.040 Then you're going to,
00:08:20.340 nah,
00:08:20.620 you're not my type.
00:08:21.460 After four or five dates.
00:08:22.520 Actually,
00:08:22.720 to be fair,
00:08:23.120 I hear you.
00:08:23.780 I actually do hear you.
00:08:24.580 I think that's what I was trying to say before.
00:08:26.240 I think it's before knowing,
00:08:27.460 before you get to that point,
00:08:28.480 what you want going into whether you're going to have a date
00:08:32.540 or going into a relationship.
00:08:33.900 I think.
00:08:34.720 Women know. 1.00
00:08:35.380 You can just look at a man and see, 0.96
00:08:36.520 you know,
00:08:37.020 even before you go on a date,
00:08:38.080 you know.
00:08:38.500 So when you go on a date,
00:08:39.300 you already know.
00:08:40.240 You can tell by the first date that you don't like him.
00:08:42.940 I mean,
00:08:43.420 I kind of,
00:08:44.860 maybe the phone call.
00:08:47.280 I think you get that connection and it is about that energy.
00:08:51.240 And I think we do feel that and we do know prior to going forth with anything else.
00:08:58.160 So I do think those that say,
00:09:00.200 I just want to see and wait and see how it goes on.
00:09:02.280 I think deep down,
00:09:03.180 we truly know before we even go to that point.
00:09:05.240 They just hedge your bets.
00:09:06.180 They just say,
00:09:06.640 you know what?
00:09:06.900 I'm going to go on dates with him because something better might come along.
00:09:10.560 But sometimes you can know someone's not right,
00:09:12.980 but you're highly attracted to them.
00:09:14.680 So you keep going back.
00:09:17.680 And there were those that are called toxic nowadays.
00:09:19.980 To do what?
00:09:20.340 Toxic.
00:09:20.900 To do what?
00:09:21.260 You go back to meet up.
00:09:22.540 You know,
00:09:22.780 some people,
00:09:23.580 well,
00:09:23.840 there's a lot of people that sleep around.
00:09:25.260 They know that it's not going to go in purpose.
00:09:26.680 Or like a friends with benefits.
00:09:29.560 I feel like if you get into a situation where you're basically,
00:09:32.240 say you're friends with benefits,
00:09:33.060 you've kind of already established what is going on in the relationship.
00:09:35.340 Right.
00:09:36.640 But I feel like if you're,
00:09:39.960 before you even go on a date,
00:09:41.300 personally,
00:09:41.840 I'd speak to the person first,
00:09:43.520 probably like,
00:09:44.320 give it like a week,
00:09:45.280 give it like a week or two.
00:09:46.500 You'd know if you even want to go on the date.
00:09:48.420 That's the thing.
00:09:49.140 But for you to go on five dates and be like,
00:09:51.320 yeah,
00:09:51.480 I'm not,
00:09:51.840 I'm not.
00:09:52.700 Yeah.
00:09:53.020 I can see that.
00:09:54.780 If I'm being honest,
00:09:55.660 a man has to make my fanny flower.
00:09:57.820 If you're not making my fanny flower,
00:10:00.120 then I feel like there's nowhere to go.
00:10:02.500 Like there has to be that sexual chemistry as well as that energy and that connection.
00:10:07.840 I think it has to be there.
00:10:08.920 I think it is important.
00:10:10.200 Yeah.
00:10:10.360 But don't forget about it. 0.52
00:10:11.840 Like your fanny can flutter at the beginning.
00:10:14.580 Do you know what I mean?
00:10:15.600 And then it's like,
00:10:16.800 all of a sudden it just stops.
00:10:24.400 And that's how women know. 1.00
00:10:25.460 Because the man will still be going in there that year, 0.89
00:10:27.240 we're having sex. 0.63
00:10:27.800 And we'll be like, 0.98
00:10:28.260 you know what,
00:10:28.580 I'm dead below the waist for you.
00:10:30.220 Do you know what I mean?
00:10:30.620 And then you're just going to build up how to dump him.
00:10:33.320 Don't,
00:10:33.640 aren't you?
00:10:34.140 How many guys have you got to? 0.98
00:10:34.360 So don't follow your fanny. 0.76
00:10:37.180 No, 0.99
00:10:37.580 I'm saying don't follow your fanny, 1.00
00:10:39.080 but I have to have that fanny flutter with somebody that I'm going to be looking. 0.84
00:10:43.420 I think that's important part of,
00:10:45.540 if I hit,
00:10:46.360 that's got to be in my shopping basket,
00:10:48.320 but being able to,
00:10:49.260 that physical attraction,
00:10:50.200 that sexual attraction with a man,
00:10:51.580 as well as being able to have that intellectual conversation and have that fun factor as well.
00:10:58.640 I think there's a lot of.
00:11:00.120 So what's not in the shopping bag?
00:11:01.900 What are you willing to give up?
00:11:02.920 Cause,
00:11:04.500 cause if he's a good looking guy that makes your like fanny flutter,
00:11:07.800 a lot of women are going to want him. 1.00
00:11:09.380 Can I say what I want in my basket and then everything else can't be in my basket?
00:11:13.900 Okay,
00:11:14.040 go ahead.
00:11:14.480 Go ahead.
00:11:14.900 Um,
00:11:15.460 I think honesty is important.
00:11:17.300 I think communication is key.
00:11:20.060 Um,
00:11:21.180 I think I'm at a point in my life now where I need consistency,
00:11:26.220 um,
00:11:27.260 to feel safe and secure.
00:11:28.940 And obviously that physical attraction,
00:11:31.120 have fun.
00:11:31.660 What I don't want is somebody dictating to me,
00:11:35.240 telling me what I can and can't do.
00:11:37.320 Um,
00:11:37.860 abusive,
00:11:38.700 whichever way,
00:11:39.600 shape or form that may look.
00:11:41.280 Um,
00:11:42.580 so yeah,
00:11:43.260 I think.
00:11:43.460 That's a shopping trolley.
00:11:44.640 They're not even a basket.
00:11:46.380 She's gone for having nothing in the basket. 0.98
00:11:48.420 They're the things that I would get rid of.
00:11:51.460 But yeah,
00:11:51.960 so I think,
00:11:52.820 you know,
00:11:54.040 that's,
00:11:54.420 that's me.
00:11:54.980 What about you guys?
00:11:58.680 What would you guys want in a guy?
00:11:59.780 I have everything I want now.
00:12:03.080 Aww.
00:12:04.940 Shout out to my boyfriend.
00:12:06.660 Not to me cringe,
00:12:07.780 but I can't be like,
00:12:08.400 well,
00:12:08.540 I want this because that implies I don't have it.
00:12:10.240 No.
00:12:11.000 Um,
00:12:11.300 he looks after me.
00:12:12.460 He leaves me.
00:12:13.700 He does everything I need.
00:12:15.000 Mm-hmm.
00:12:15.660 Thankfully.
00:12:16.420 Is he more than five years older than you?
00:12:19.000 Uh,
00:12:19.200 yeah.
00:12:19.560 Well,
00:12:19.660 he's five years older than me.
00:12:21.000 See,
00:12:21.200 that was a good guess.
00:12:21.880 What would I want?
00:12:27.340 Um,
00:12:28.320 you know,
00:12:28.820 I used to be big on saying,
00:12:30.360 I want communication.
00:12:32.180 Anybody that asked me what I wanted,
00:12:34.100 I'd always be like,
00:12:35.300 I'm the best communicator in the world.
00:12:36.720 I need someone to communicate just as well as me.
00:12:39.620 But you realize that communication comes in different forms
00:12:41.920 and it's always not going to be compatible with you.
00:12:43.600 So even when someone is,
00:12:44.660 you'd think they wouldn't be.
00:12:45.540 You're asking a man to be a woman. 1.00
00:12:49.020 Asking,
00:12:49.620 telling me to tell me what you want.
00:12:50.940 It's not asking you to be a woman.
00:12:52.280 I'm just telling you so that you don't get upset
00:12:53.820 if I don't do the stuff you want me to do.
00:12:55.540 How many men have told you to shut up and be quiet?
00:12:58.820 Nobody.
00:12:59.360 And I hope no one.
00:13:00.820 Okay.
00:13:01.320 Yeah.
00:13:01.720 You're lucky.
00:13:02.900 Yeah,
00:13:03.220 I am.
00:13:03.800 But a lot of the time,
00:13:04.660 I'm not going to stand someone listening to shut up.
00:13:06.960 But a lot of the time,
00:13:07.940 if men tell us what they really want,
00:13:10.360 we leave.
00:13:11.300 Because it's usually, 0.79
00:13:11.880 we have sex with multiple people 0.52
00:13:13.460 and you stay for one of us. 0.86
00:13:15.360 So when we get told that,
00:13:17.240 that's their form of honest communication
00:13:18.900 and we're just like,
00:13:20.200 all right,
00:13:20.780 I'm going.
00:13:21.920 That's probably why they're not honest with us.
00:13:24.400 Probably.
00:13:24.960 So she wants a good communicator. 0.98
00:13:26.500 She's got a shop in Charlie.
00:13:27.660 I want to find out what everybody else wants.
00:13:29.820 Okay,
00:13:30.220 so good communicator.
00:13:31.220 What else?
00:13:32.620 Someone that I find attractive.
00:13:36.340 Okay.
00:13:36.860 Is there a height requirement for that?
00:13:39.160 You're not that tall,
00:13:39.920 I don't think.
00:13:41.040 Why are you calling me out like that?
00:13:41.860 No,
00:13:42.020 I'm 5'3".
00:13:42.660 No,
00:13:44.060 I don't have a height requirement.
00:13:45.200 You can be as tall as you like.
00:13:46.940 5 foot?
00:13:48.440 5 foot?
00:13:48.960 I don't think I'd go for someone that's shorter than me.
00:13:50.940 So there's a height requirement.
00:13:52.240 Yeah,
00:13:52.640 just not shorter than me.
00:13:53.780 Sorry,
00:13:54.060 yes,
00:13:54.380 no.
00:13:55.080 Height requirement,
00:13:55.940 but just someone that's not shorter than me.
00:13:57.480 Okay,
00:13:57.740 just because I feel like I'd be more attracted to someone that was taller than me
00:14:00.300 than shorter than me.
00:14:01.020 Same height is good?
00:14:02.260 Same height,
00:14:03.000 yeah,
00:14:03.540 it can be all right.
00:14:04.420 We can try and make it work.
00:14:05.360 Or like 5'5",
00:14:06.240 at least.
00:14:06.820 Yeah,
00:14:07.040 yeah.
00:14:07.300 Okay,
00:14:07.620 okay,
00:14:07.960 go ahead.
00:14:08.840 So tall,
00:14:09.840 good,
00:14:10.140 5'5 and up,
00:14:11.180 and good communicator.
00:14:12.340 Yeah,
00:14:12.640 someone that's,
00:14:13.480 that's so funny,
00:14:14.460 sorry,
00:14:14.700 someone that I'd prefer,
00:14:17.040 if I was to look for anybody,
00:14:19.200 and I've,
00:14:19.680 from the first time,
00:14:20.400 I even stepped my foot into this dating world.
00:14:24.100 Someone that's been in a previous relationship,
00:14:28.660 but,
00:14:29.560 however,
00:14:30.260 I don't mean it in a way where like,
00:14:31.720 you're still talking to them,
00:14:33.120 but I mean it in a way where like,
00:14:34.720 you know what is required in a relationship,
00:14:37.540 you know how to go about someone,
00:14:38.760 a significant other,
00:14:39.980 and how to talk to them,
00:14:41.320 how to look after them,
00:14:42.700 and I think,
00:14:43.420 yeah,
00:14:43.720 so I think that's kind of important to me.
00:14:45.760 Not,
00:14:46.080 not a deal breaker,
00:14:47.020 but I would prefer that.
00:14:47.740 Okay,
00:14:47.940 so 5'5 and taller,
00:14:49.820 has been in a relationship,
00:14:51.240 good communicator,
00:14:52.020 anything else?
00:14:55.080 Maybe something I'm not allowed to say on camera,
00:14:57.580 but I'm joking.
00:14:59.280 I'm joking,
00:14:59.960 I'm joking.
00:15:00.700 But yeah,
00:15:01.080 that's all I got for at the top of my head though.
00:15:02.900 Okay,
00:15:03.540 what about you?
00:15:04.640 So,
00:15:05.100 I would say,
00:15:05.960 I'd like someone to be honest,
00:15:08.560 and if,
00:15:09.120 even if that is brutally honest,
00:15:10.360 I prefer that.
00:15:13.540 Someone that is considerate,
00:15:16.460 someone that I'm attracted to,
00:15:18.140 first of all,
00:15:19.480 that's my number one,
00:15:20.840 and then the rest kind of follows.
00:15:22.160 I'm a bit more like,
00:15:23.500 I don't mind relaxing some of my wants,
00:15:28.120 if the person is a decent person,
00:15:31.260 if he's got drive,
00:15:33.220 if he likes to enjoy life,
00:15:36.080 if he sees fun in being alive,
00:15:40.080 appreciates being alive,
00:15:41.320 that's,
00:15:42.500 things can change.
00:15:43.900 I'm not so black and white on things.
00:15:46.780 It's like,
00:15:47.080 I've dated,
00:15:48.540 okay,
00:15:48.860 I was young,
00:15:49.560 but I've dated someone
00:15:50.500 that was shorter than me before.
00:15:54.920 Actually,
00:15:55.440 I only have,
00:15:56.220 I've only had two relationships,
00:15:58.100 and both weren't tall.
00:16:00.120 So it's not like I'm looking for,
00:16:01.240 Did you break up with them,
00:16:02.180 or did they break up with you?
00:16:03.940 They both broke up with me.
00:16:05.480 Okay.
00:16:08.340 So what else,
00:16:09.260 anything else?
00:16:10.180 But obviously,
00:16:10.700 like I said earlier,
00:16:12.000 they come back,
00:16:15.820 when they realize the grass isn't greener.
00:16:20.060 But yeah.
00:16:21.400 Would you take them back,
00:16:22.380 if someone,
00:16:22.900 if they came back?
00:16:23.960 Well,
00:16:24.180 I did with one particular one.
00:16:26.180 Not anymore though.
00:16:27.480 That option's not even there anyway.
00:16:29.360 But not anymore.
00:16:31.100 Can I ask why they broke up with you?
00:16:34.480 Is it you,
00:16:35.280 or is it them?
00:16:37.920 I would say,
00:16:39.400 it could be,
00:16:41.020 so the first person,
00:16:42.700 wanted,
00:16:43.020 like I said earlier,
00:16:43.760 wanted to have fun.
00:16:45.200 Went off,
00:16:46.320 thought he could come back.
00:16:48.360 And I didn't let him come back,
00:16:49.840 and that really upset him.
00:16:53.700 Second person,
00:16:54.560 he did keep coming back,
00:16:55.860 to be honest.
00:16:56.820 It's a long story.
00:16:57.960 We were dating since like,
00:16:59.480 I was 14.
00:17:02.120 14 to 18,
00:17:03.480 broke up,
00:17:04.760 dated the other guy,
00:17:06.780 and then got back with him after.
00:17:08.860 And we were dating for,
00:17:10.540 about 12 years,
00:17:12.780 with maybe a year gap in between them.
00:17:14.820 Wow,
00:17:15.060 you're with him for 12 years?
00:17:16.220 Yeah,
00:17:17.040 we've like a,
00:17:17.900 well,
00:17:18.340 13 years with a year gap in between.
00:17:20.420 Wow.
00:17:21.460 Why didn't y'all get married? 1.00
00:17:23.300 That was the idea.
00:17:24.460 Yeah,
00:17:25.100 that was the idea.
00:17:26.300 It's longer than most marriages.
00:17:28.080 Yeah,
00:17:28.440 it was the idea.
00:17:29.040 We lived as,
00:17:30.020 you know,
00:17:30.400 as you would.
00:17:31.800 But,
00:17:32.180 you know,
00:17:32.560 things change,
00:17:33.720 people change.
00:17:34.520 And I think sometimes,
00:17:36.900 when someone's in an environment,
00:17:39.380 where they're with a lot of younger people,
00:17:41.800 they can change what they want.
00:17:43.400 So initially,
00:17:44.100 when we first dated,
00:17:46.560 he would,
00:17:47.560 he still would hold all the doors and everything.
00:17:49.200 He's very gentlemanly,
00:17:50.420 and he's a very nice person.
00:17:52.560 But he,
00:17:53.480 he would not like it,
00:17:55.680 if I attempted to pay for something.
00:17:57.660 He had to pay for things.
00:17:58.940 It's like,
00:17:59.560 he learned to drive because he didn't like me driving him around.
00:18:02.740 He was saying,
00:18:03.300 That sounds amazing.
00:18:04.240 He was like,
00:18:04.740 I don't feel manly.
00:18:06.560 Yeah.
00:18:06.940 Yeah.
00:18:07.680 But at the end,
00:18:08.820 when we broke up,
00:18:09.480 one of the reasons he gave is because I don't pay,
00:18:12.280 take him out on dates and pay for things.
00:18:14.440 But he's in an environment where he hangs around with younger people.
00:18:17.160 And I think he may have got a bit messed up along the way.
00:18:22.200 He had it right in the beginning.
00:18:23.660 You know,
00:18:24.120 he was very traditional.
00:18:25.720 And I like that about him.
00:18:26.960 He was a good person.
00:18:27.900 He treated his mom.
00:18:28.420 That's another thing.
00:18:29.500 They have to treat their mom well.
00:18:31.400 And I think that that speaks volumes.
00:18:35.280 Yeah.
00:18:36.060 Times change.
00:18:37.040 People grow out of each other.
00:18:39.880 So he,
00:18:41.280 because this just doesn't make sense.
00:18:43.140 So he hung around younger people.
00:18:44.620 And then he was managing.
00:18:45.520 So he's a musician.
00:18:47.720 Okay.
00:18:48.420 And I think when other people say,
00:18:50.440 Oh,
00:18:50.580 my girlfriend bought me this,
00:18:51.940 my girlfriend done this and took me this place. 1.00
00:18:54.300 And then it made him think,
00:18:56.000 Oh,
00:18:56.260 why isn't she doing that? 1.00
00:18:57.360 But he would have been angry if I'd done that originally.
00:19:01.020 Do you think there was other ways?
00:19:02.400 Maybe you could have done something that wasn't money that he would have appreciated.
00:19:05.780 Oh,
00:19:05.920 yeah,
00:19:06.060 I did.
00:19:06.780 Yeah,
00:19:07.040 I did.
00:19:07.420 And he just didn't take that into account.
00:19:08.900 No.
00:19:11.440 Maybe not.
00:19:12.240 Obviously not.
00:19:13.060 Yeah.
00:19:13.440 That sounds like he was doing stuff.
00:19:15.780 Not more so to have the authority,
00:19:18.600 not in a bad way,
00:19:19.840 but to have the authority be like,
00:19:21.480 yeah,
00:19:21.620 I can look after you,
00:19:23.060 but kind of just dismiss the fact that he wanted to be the author too.
00:19:26.060 So maybe that's why he came back and went,
00:19:27.980 cool.
00:19:28.180 Like you don't look after me,
00:19:29.820 but like for him,
00:19:30.760 his only,
00:19:31.580 like his only intention was to look after you.
00:19:34.360 Well,
00:19:34.460 I don't think,
00:19:34.980 I don't know me based on what I'm hearing.
00:19:37.100 That's what it sounds like.
00:19:38.520 But yeah.
00:19:40.040 Based on what I'm hearing,
00:19:41.020 he got easily influenced by his peers.
00:19:43.800 And that's what it was.
00:19:45.380 He spent more time with his younger peers,
00:19:47.220 listening to them.
00:19:48.400 And sometimes it became hard.
00:19:49.700 Peer pressure can come at any age.
00:19:51.540 Yeah.
00:19:52.060 I think so.
00:19:52.680 Especially as youths that were together so young.
00:19:54.740 And he was so,
00:19:55.500 it seems like he was mature when he was young.
00:19:59.160 And then he spent most of his youth being mature.
00:20:01.600 And then when he had the chance to be young again,
00:20:04.500 and be a teenager,
00:20:05.460 because he's lost all his teenage years,
00:20:07.140 he just went for it because he was surrounded by that.
00:20:09.440 I think if he wasn't a musician,
00:20:10.540 it would have been different.
00:20:11.640 But being a musician,
00:20:13.080 that's hard.
00:20:14.420 Yeah.
00:20:14.960 I made him be a musician as well.
00:20:17.960 Oh, right.
00:20:19.060 I was like, do it.
00:20:20.480 Follow your, yeah, do it.
00:20:21.680 It's fine.
00:20:22.280 I can, you know,
00:20:23.280 take care of things for a little while.
00:20:25.880 That's such a long relationship.
00:20:27.380 It just sounds like such a,
00:20:29.400 it's seemingly smaller thing that,
00:20:32.040 and such a long relationship.
00:20:33.060 Oh, no, there was many,
00:20:33.880 there was many things,
00:20:35.080 there was many things that he'd done at the end
00:20:37.260 that were not good.
00:20:38.240 But I don't really want,
00:20:38.960 he's a good person.
00:20:40.080 I've got nothing bad to say about him,
00:20:41.420 but he'd act, he behaved badly for a little while.
00:20:44.700 For like six months of our relationship.
00:20:47.540 He behaved very badly.
00:20:49.220 And then he's now back to being normal and everything,
00:20:52.260 you know, fine.
00:20:53.940 But he, yeah, he was a different person.
00:20:55.580 I've got fingers crossed for you.
00:20:56.780 Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely not.
00:20:58.940 I'm rooting for it a little bit.
00:20:59.860 No, hell no, absolutely not.
00:21:02.020 He went mature.
00:21:03.220 No, no.
00:21:04.300 How old is he now?
00:21:06.140 He's 40.
00:21:06.620 When he, so it was, when he was turning.
00:21:09.420 Is he with anyone?
00:21:10.540 I don't know.
00:21:11.100 He would, I don't think he would ever tell me.
00:21:12.660 That's the thing.
00:21:13.460 I don't think he would.
00:21:14.220 You didn't creep?
00:21:16.060 No.
00:21:16.620 You didn't pick his page?
00:21:18.300 No, I haven't recently.
00:21:19.460 Obviously when we first broke up,
00:21:21.460 I looked.
00:21:22.140 Would it make you feel.
00:21:22.820 We're still on,
00:21:23.560 we're still friends on everything.
00:21:24.620 We haven't done that.
00:21:26.780 Would it make you feel a type of way
00:21:27.860 if he told you he was talking to someone else right now?
00:21:29.620 No, not at all.
00:21:30.500 I'm completely healed.
00:21:31.540 Like literally when he moved out,
00:21:34.220 I came to terms with it pretty quick.
00:21:36.520 And I am one of those people
00:21:38.660 that take things as a lesson
00:21:39.900 and I move on from it.
00:21:41.800 So I'm like, I could see,
00:21:43.600 so he's done some really bad things at the end,
00:21:45.240 but he's a good person
00:21:46.700 and I can see the part I played in that.
00:21:49.200 So I can see how my behavior
00:21:51.260 made him behave that way.
00:21:52.580 So I think, you know,
00:21:55.220 sometimes it can be easy
00:21:56.540 to stop doing the things
00:21:59.200 that you do for each other
00:22:00.200 and not keeping things alive, you know.
00:22:03.620 And I'm not saying in the bedroom.
00:22:05.460 I'm saying in general, day to day.
00:22:09.700 Yeah.
00:22:10.400 So I just think that good people,
00:22:13.460 bad situation,
00:22:15.040 things went upside down
00:22:16.380 and that's fine.
00:22:17.340 And actually,
00:22:18.560 I think I had my best year of my life
00:22:20.820 since we split up funny enough,
00:22:23.340 not because he's a bad person.
00:22:25.180 It's just because I can be me.
00:22:27.540 I can do what I want to do.
00:22:28.520 I don't have to consider
00:22:29.660 a partner's feelings for a little while.
00:22:33.100 I'm not the type of person
00:22:34.380 to just move from person to person.
00:22:38.320 I'm just good being me for a little while.
00:22:40.680 I'm still kind of rooting for it.
00:22:42.140 No, no, no, no, don't, don't, no.
00:22:44.200 Okay.