JustPearlyThings - July 24, 2023


Modern Women DO NOT Respect Their Biological Clock


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

182.03148

Word count

2,043

Sentence count

218

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about when is the right age to have kids and how old should you be when you have your first child. We also talk about the pros and cons of having kids later in life and how much energy it takes to raise a child.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 When do you yourself, I know some of,
00:00:02.720 I know you said you already have kids.
00:00:05.180 If you want more kids, when would you want them?
00:00:09.060 And remind them what age you are
00:00:10.340 and what age you'd want kids.
00:00:12.060 I was 24 when I had my son.
00:00:13.500 I think that's probably about right.
00:00:15.060 It is true, you know, we're all just bags of chemicals
00:00:17.580 and the older you get, egg quality drops off
00:00:19.900 and you do get more disabilities possibly.
00:00:22.380 And yeah, certainly nature intended us
00:00:26.160 to reproduce teens and early twenties.
00:00:29.020 Okay.
00:00:30.000 When do I want kids?
00:00:33.360 Mm-hmm.
00:00:34.360 And remind them how old you are and what age you want kids.
00:00:36.940 I'm 29.
00:00:37.940 Okay.
00:00:38.840 To be honest, I've been kind of thinking about children,
00:00:43.680 but I just feel like when I'm a little bit more stable,
00:00:50.260 when I finish doing certain things with myself,
00:00:52.480 then I'll have them.
00:00:53.800 I can actually have, and I've got a partner.
00:00:56.320 Okay.
00:00:56.840 But I've just put it on hold for a second.
00:00:59.020 Not for too long.
00:01:00.460 Low key maybe next year, but I need to go and travel.
00:01:03.960 What do you, okay, so you want to travel?
00:01:05.960 I want to travel a bit.
00:01:06.960 Get that.
00:01:07.960 I'm just curious.
00:01:09.320 Like why, like when I grew up, I traveled with my family.
00:01:11.900 Yeah.
00:01:12.900 Why do we have to travel first and then have the family? 0.99
00:01:16.140 Oh, no, I don't even, I like that idea as well.
00:01:18.840 Yeah.
00:01:19.840 I just felt like I need to do some things by myself separately.
00:01:22.840 Yeah.
00:01:23.840 And then I'll get to the family stuff.
00:01:25.840 I just don't, I just don't understand that mindset.
00:01:27.780 Do you know what I mean?
00:01:28.780 It's like, cause you can do both.
00:01:30.780 Yeah.
00:01:31.780 You can go on a trip with your kid.
00:01:32.780 Yeah.
00:01:33.780 No.
00:01:34.780 It's harder, but you know.
00:01:35.780 So I'm just curious, like what made you say you have to do that first?
00:01:38.780 Something I want.
00:01:40.280 Okay.
00:01:41.280 It's just me.
00:01:42.280 I just want to travel without a kid first and then I'll travel with a kid.
00:01:47.040 And then with a kid.
00:01:48.040 Yeah.
00:01:49.040 Yeah.
00:01:50.040 Okay.
00:01:51.040 I'm 20 and I'm hoping to have children by like between 23 and 25.
00:01:55.040 Okay.
00:01:56.040 Yeah.
00:01:57.040 I'm 30.
00:01:58.040 I already have a son.
00:01:59.040 I don't know.
00:02:01.040 Did you say 30?
00:02:02.040 Wow.
00:02:03.040 You do not look that old.
00:02:04.040 Yeah.
00:02:05.040 I'm 30.
00:02:06.040 I already have a son.
00:02:07.040 And how old were you when you had your son?
00:02:10.040 My son is six, so I was 24.
00:02:13.800 Okay.
00:02:14.800 Um, I don't mind having more children.
00:02:17.960 I think I give myself to 35.
00:02:19.800 Okay.
00:02:20.800 And then after that, I don't think, I don't see myself wanting to have kids after 35.
00:02:25.820 You don't mind having more kids or you want more kids?
00:02:27.960 I don't mind.
00:02:28.960 It's not something that I want while I'm in a relationship.
00:02:32.720 So if it's something that is in the talks, then yeah.
00:02:37.040 Okay.
00:02:38.040 But I already have a son, so it's like...
00:02:40.360 Well, I'm just asking what you want.
00:02:41.760 Your perfect reality.
00:02:42.760 Are you done or you want more?
00:02:44.800 It's up in the air.
00:02:46.800 Okay.
00:02:47.800 It's like one day you think yes, the next day you think no.
00:02:51.680 Not necessarily.
00:02:52.680 It's just, it's an open thought.
00:02:54.800 Okay.
00:02:55.800 Okay.
00:02:56.800 All right.
00:02:57.800 Um, I'm thinking around like 35, so I'll go for like two, three years to go.
00:03:01.800 Okay.
00:03:02.800 Yeah.
00:03:03.800 Yeah.
00:03:04.800 It happens.
00:03:05.800 Okay.
00:03:06.800 Well, I feel like when you have your kids, that's down to your personal choice of what
00:03:11.200 age you have them, so long as you can provide for them and love them and give them the things
00:03:17.120 that they need.
00:03:18.120 And you've got the support maybe by family, their family, et cetera.
00:03:23.840 Um, in terms of age, I feel that that's very personal.
00:03:28.880 There isn't a right age or a wrong age.
00:03:31.440 Um, maybe in terms of when you said the older woman, yes, there is more health risks.
00:03:37.200 Um, I would, I didn't, I didn't say right or wrong.
00:03:40.960 I said, what age do you want to have kids?
00:03:42.960 Um, what age, even, even if you passed it, like what would be the ideal age to have kids?
00:03:48.840 Well, personally speaking, I feel that being a younger parent, there's more advantage, um,
00:03:55.440 simply because you can raise them and grow with them.
00:03:58.440 You still got a lot of energy where you can do quite a lot of activities with them.
00:04:04.520 Um, when you're a more mature parent, I feel that you become less energetic and it may become
00:04:10.920 a bit harder, not impossible, but however, it's not going to be as easier when you've got like
00:04:17.880 a lot of energy when you're young.
00:04:20.840 Okay.
00:04:21.160 So what age?
00:04:22.760 I would say twenties, maybe.
00:04:26.200 Okay.
00:04:26.920 Like 20 or 29, 25?
00:04:29.880 I would say 20 going on, 21, 22, 23.
00:04:33.480 Okay.
00:04:33.560 So 20, so early 20s.
00:04:35.160 Early 20s.
00:04:35.960 Yeah.
00:04:36.120 Okay.
00:04:36.440 And do you have kids?
00:04:38.040 Um, yeah, I do.
00:04:39.400 Okay.
00:04:39.800 How old, was that around the age you had them?
00:04:41.640 Um, no, I had them a bit younger, which I'm glad that I did.
00:04:45.080 Oh, okay.
00:04:45.960 Um, why is that you just had more energy?
00:04:48.680 That's what you're saying.
00:04:50.440 Um, cause it's fact, I've had children.
00:04:52.840 Mm-hmm.
00:04:53.560 And when I was younger, I had a way lot more energy, whereas becoming a more mature
00:04:58.120 parent, I would have a way lot less energy now than what I did.
00:05:03.480 Yeah.
00:05:04.520 No, I've heard that, that if you wait too long, like, like, because my dad, my youngest
00:05:08.920 sister's 10 years younger than me and he's just exhausted.
00:05:11.480 He's like, I'm trying to get these kids out of the house.
00:05:14.360 Um, what about you?
00:05:15.400 I'm 25 and if I had a partner, I would have children as soon as he's ready to be able to
00:05:23.080 cater for the children of myself.
00:05:25.000 So you meet a, you meet a guy tomorrow.
00:05:26.440 I'll have children tomorrow.
00:05:27.000 He says, he said, I'll get, I'll marry you in the next six months.
00:05:30.520 Yeah.
00:05:30.920 Let's immediately.
00:05:31.960 Yeah.
00:05:32.680 Okay.
00:05:33.160 Cool, cool.
00:05:33.640 I'm ready.
00:05:34.600 Um, what are your deal breakers? 1.00
00:05:37.640 Men smell funny or if they're stupid or boring, I guess, um, if they're jealous and possessive, 1.00
00:05:48.200 um, obviously abusive, that kind of thing. 1.00
00:05:51.640 Why is, why is abusive the first, it's not just you guys, it's everybody abusive.
00:05:57.640 Yeah.
00:05:58.120 Well, it's like, why is that the first thing women say? 1.00
00:06:00.520 I guess it's like the worst thing you can imagine.
00:06:02.520 Yeah, but it's like, why are we, why are we always thinking of the worst thing that could
00:06:06.760 happen?
00:06:07.720 Because in debate, I suppose you go to the extreme to make a point.
00:06:09.960 This isn't a debate, like, you know.
00:06:13.880 All right.
00:06:14.200 Just men that smell funny then and bawl me.
00:06:15.720 Okay.
00:06:16.360 Men that are bored.
00:06:18.440 See, it's like.
00:06:19.880 No, but it's true though.
00:06:20.920 Come on.
00:06:21.320 Who, you asked the question.
00:06:22.680 It's very obvious. 1.00
00:06:24.280 No one's going to stay with an abusive, crazy psycho that's beating you left, right and center. 0.99
00:06:27.960 My question, my question is not telling you to stay with an abusive guy. 0.96
00:06:32.120 It is, why is that the first thing that we bring up?
00:06:35.240 If we can agree.
00:06:36.200 How do we think about our brains?
00:06:38.520 It's like, why, why is that?
00:06:40.040 Why do we always go to the extreme?
00:06:41.640 Like the worst thing that could happen?
00:06:43.720 Maybe because it's just out there.
00:06:45.240 You know, you hear of it often.
00:06:48.200 That wouldn't be your deal breaker though.
00:06:49.800 What's your deal breaker?
00:06:50.760 Mine.
00:06:51.160 Mine.
00:06:51.560 Yeah.
00:06:56.120 Yeah, boy.
00:06:56.680 Because if I was to get into it with my partner and we was to start getting mad,
00:07:00.440 like probably be mad back then. 0.97
00:07:02.280 You know, women are more violent than men. 1.00
00:07:06.040 Yeah. 0.72
00:07:06.520 I've seen some stuff going.
00:07:08.200 No.
00:07:08.520 So it's funny because one-sided abuse, women hit men one-sided more than men hit women one-sided.
00:07:16.280 Yet women are always the ones that bring up abuse. 1.00
00:07:19.080 When if we're going to be technical about it, men should be the ones bringing up abuse and they never do.
00:07:23.720 Yeah.
00:07:24.360 But why?
00:07:26.280 Maybe we're not abusive.
00:07:27.640 Maybe we can say it.
00:07:28.680 Maybe men that haven't been abusive can say it too.
00:07:31.640 Like maybe when you're just not, when you're not abusive, you probably will bring it up because
00:07:36.040 it's something that you just don't believe in, you know?
00:07:38.760 No, my, my whole point is women have this like negative picture of men that they're just abusive 0.99
00:07:44.600 out to get us.
00:07:45.320 Well, all of them.
00:07:46.280 I would say, I would say in general, I hear the word abuse come up way too often.
00:07:52.280 Mm-hmm.
00:07:53.960 Considering like from women, I never hear it from men, even though one-sided abuse is more
00:07:58.440 common from women to men.
00:07:59.880 Mm-hmm.
00:08:00.600 But that's because the men are meant to be alpha and the stronger ones.
00:08:03.160 So they would never admit that anyway.
00:08:05.640 My, my point is like, why do women always go to the extreme? 1.00
00:08:10.200 If, if we would agree, right?
00:08:11.720 We'd agree.
00:08:12.120 It's the minority of guys that are abusing women.
00:08:14.680 Well, we would agree.
00:08:15.880 That's not a majority.
00:08:17.800 Right.
00:08:18.120 That's not your, right.
00:08:19.240 Right.
00:08:19.640 Come on.
00:08:20.040 Like this shouldn't be.
00:08:21.080 You think over 50% of men are abusing women?
00:08:23.640 Oh, cool.
00:08:24.920 I wouldn't say it's the majority, but with my friends and stuff and family and stuff,
00:08:31.400 I've seen it quite a lot.
00:08:33.240 And from what I've heard, it's something that I personally would never want to go through.
00:08:37.880 Mm-hmm.
00:08:38.520 And so I'm not saying it's the majority of men, but I have heard it quite frequently
00:08:44.280 from lots of different backgrounds.
00:08:47.160 I meet randoms and tell me stuff like that.
00:08:49.160 It's lies.
00:08:50.840 Yeah, it's lies.
00:08:51.720 What's lies?
00:08:52.280 Sorry.
00:08:52.520 What's lies?
00:08:53.080 The, the abuse allegations.
00:08:54.920 They're, they're mostly lies.
00:08:56.840 Wait, I don't get it.
00:08:57.640 Yeah.
00:08:58.040 Yeah. 0.70
00:08:58.360 Women lie about abuse. 1.00
00:08:59.720 I would say the majority of women that say they were abused are lying. 0.96
00:09:09.960 Okay.
00:09:10.680 Because what they did was they expanded the definition of abuse.
00:09:14.120 So women will use these words that like mean nothing. 1.00
00:09:17.400 Like, like they, like, for example, um, what, what is coercion?
00:09:22.280 I, and I've, and I've, the only reason I say this is because I've done these shows so
00:09:26.760 many times and women come on, they tell me their story. 0.84
00:09:29.640 And then I ask questions and it's not abuse.
00:09:33.000 I'll give you an example.
00:09:34.120 Um, had a girl come on. 1.00
00:09:35.720 She said my, my ex-boyfriend like shoved me out of the house or whatever, like pushed me out.
00:09:41.720 And I was like, okay, like, why did he shove you like to the ground or whatever?
00:09:45.960 Turns out she refused to leave his house.
00:09:47.880 She was trespassing.
00:09:49.560 But does it give him the right to then shove her?
00:09:51.960 I mean, I think if I have someone that is breaking and entering into my house,
00:09:56.360 I certainly can shove you out of there.
00:09:58.440 But was they not meant to be together?
00:10:00.200 And what kind of shove?
00:10:01.320 Because, um, if you love someone, I wouldn't really be.
00:10:04.280 Well, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll tell you the problem is I like,
00:10:09.800 I know guys that have slammed a door that the woman was holding onto the door. 1.00
00:10:13.880 Boom, abuse.
00:10:14.920 And he's actually was charged with that.
00:10:17.080 Okay.
00:10:17.560 And I get that.
00:10:18.360 That is so massive.
00:10:19.160 And I'm saying, I'm telling you, you wouldn't know not being in it how one sided it is.
00:10:23.560 It's very, very one sided.
00:10:26.200 Like it's very much like, and the reason we can look at this is because family court is based
00:10:31.880 on a balance of probabilities where criminal court is based off of evidence.
00:10:35.160 So if you really want to see how common is abuse, the majority of abuse allegations that happen in
00:10:40.760 family court, only 10% take it to the police.
00:10:44.920 So that tells us that the majority aren't even taking it to the police.
00:10:51.320 Yeah.
00:10:51.560 That's why I think they're lying.
00:10:52.760 The majority.
00:10:53.640 But would you not think that if it's, if it's to do with family, then the reason is
00:10:57.880 it's not a higher rate is because they don't want to break up that family.
00:11:00.760 Well, if they're going to court, they're already breaking up the family. 0.99
00:11:03.400 So they clearly don't give a shit. 0.99