JustPearlyThings - Modern Women Don't Understand The Concept Of MARRIAGE

00:00:00.000 You and every woman, right? Every woman's picky. 1.00

00:00:02.520 Yes, exactly. That's not an issue.

00:00:04.340 Why does every girl say, like, I could be having a boyfriend right now? 1.00

00:00:08.280 Like, what?

00:00:08.980 Because I can't. There's so many simps out there that would do anything for me.

00:00:12.660 I think it's terrible advice that guys give other guys, like,

00:00:15.440 forcing women to accept the fact that other women are going to be in the picture.

00:00:20.680 Because women with self-respect, they're not going to accept that. 1.00

00:00:24.740 They're not going to be like, yeah, just bring some other woman into the picture.

00:00:28.120 So the more freedom we have, the more divorced our country is.

00:00:35.020 Basically, like, I have, like, in-between views on him.

00:00:40.120 So sometimes I understand him, like, when he talks about, you know,

00:00:44.660 dating in an old-fashioned way, because I think that is something that we should be doing.

00:00:50.540 But then when he says stuff like, you know, women are better when they are younger, 1.00

00:00:57.600 18, 19, go pursue them.

00:00:59.540 There was one, I can't remember word for word.

00:01:01.380 He said he'd rather date a 19-year-old than a 26-year-old.

00:01:04.020 Yeah.

00:01:04.640 And then he was basically devaluing the older women.

00:01:07.880 Yeah.

00:01:08.180 So I was like, no, I don't like that.

00:01:09.300 Because that falls under my category.

00:01:10.620 And that tricked me.

00:01:11.760 That triggered a nerve.

00:01:13.540 Okay.

00:01:14.160 But then other than that, he's cool.

00:01:16.420 Like, it just depends.

00:01:17.620 Do you think that men or women are allowed to like men that are rich?

00:01:20.820 Um, a woman can like whoever she wants to like. 1.00

00:01:25.520 Yeah, but then why can't the men like whoever they want to like?

00:01:27.700 They can.

00:01:28.120 Yeah, you know?

00:01:28.700 I think everyone can have a preference and they can like whoever they want to like.

00:01:32.820 Okay.

00:01:33.080 As long as you're not disrespecting other people in different categories.

00:01:37.460 Okay.

00:01:38.040 I'm 26, you know.

00:01:39.540 Oh, I'm 26 too.

00:01:40.660 Yeah.

00:01:41.160 But it's like, I think I understand where he's coming from.

00:01:44.080 Even being 26, because it's like, there's less experience.

00:01:48.180 Like, it's just like, I want a girl with a ton of experience.

00:01:50.760 No.

00:01:51.140 But do you, why would you want someone who's so naive?

00:01:53.580 Because I remember when I was 18, 19, I thought I knew so much, but I didn't know nothing.

00:01:57.780 Because when you're not naive, it's like, you're always arguing with him.

00:02:00.460 Like, oh, I know what you're doing.

00:02:02.000 You know?

00:02:02.440 Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:03.480 She's laughing, right?

00:02:04.480 Okay.

00:02:04.800 Because it's like, they don't want a girl that's like always like, because of trauma from previous relationships, 0.99

00:02:10.020 always bringing up those problems.

00:02:11.760 Yep.

00:02:12.100 That's true.

00:02:12.700 Because like, imagine like, you know, at 26, like I might, if he had, I'm trying to think

00:02:17.800 of something.

00:02:18.260 I can't off the top of that.

00:02:18.880 Please be positive.

00:02:19.580 I'm trying to think of something off, but you could think of something maybe an ex did

00:02:23.460 that was like sneaky.

00:02:24.480 Yeah.

00:02:24.660 Right?

00:02:24.980 Right?

00:02:25.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:25.860 And if someone in the future does that same thing, you might think, like, I don't know,

00:02:29.880 maybe bring a phone to the bathroom, whatever it is.

00:02:32.180 The guys would rather just have a girl that's like, oh, why don't he, he's just bringing 1.00

00:02:35.860 his phone or whatever.

00:02:37.360 That's true.

00:02:38.220 But you know what?

00:02:39.200 Yeah.

00:02:39.520 He should date someone who's intelligent at the same time. 0.72

00:02:41.960 Because like, for me, it doesn't mean she's dumb.

00:02:44.000 I know, but you got us in our bucket. 0.88

00:02:47.180 Yeah.

00:02:47.480 If we get like, okay, say now I have a relationship tomorrow, blah, blah, blah.

00:02:50.540 Not that I can't get one.

00:02:51.380 I'm just picky, by the way.

00:02:52.300 Don't get twisted.

00:02:52.940 I'm not desperate.

00:02:53.920 Well, sounds pretty desperate to me.

00:02:56.740 You and every woman, right?

00:03:00.220 Every woman's picky. 1.00

00:03:01.300 Yes.

00:03:01.660 Exactly.

00:03:02.240 That's not my issue.

00:03:03.060 Why does every girl say, like, I could be having a boyfriend right now? 1.00

00:03:07.080 Like, what?

00:03:07.800 Because I can't.

00:03:08.860 There's so many simps out there that would do anything for me.

00:03:11.280 But the thing is, if you're single, it means the men that you want don't want you.

00:03:15.920 It does.

00:03:16.560 For everybody.

00:03:17.580 Same with the women. 1.00

00:03:18.740 If a guy's single, it's the same thing.

00:03:20.980 The women that he wants doesn't want him. 0.99

00:03:23.560 I would say I don't go.

00:03:25.380 What?

00:03:25.980 You can debate that to some degree.

00:03:27.260 What?

00:03:27.780 You know how you said, if a guy's single, that it could be because.

00:03:31.400 Or he doesn't want a relationship.

00:03:33.240 It's debatable, but yeah, I do.

00:03:35.060 Like, for example, the guy that I wanted to marry before, he met my standards.

00:03:40.260 I clearly met his.

00:03:41.540 We was talking about these things.

00:03:42.920 But, however, there were certain qualities that didn't like certain conversations that

00:03:46.040 we had.

00:03:46.420 Like, for example, he would ask me, in the future, if you have, like, 10 kids, would

00:03:51.080 you, we have 10 kids together, we've been married for 10 years, would you let me have

00:03:55.000 a second wife?

00:03:55.920 And, Islamically, that's obviously allowed. 0.95

00:03:57.820 But, some women are okay with it, and some women are not. 1.00

00:04:01.560 So, I told him, I'm not going to lie.

00:04:02.960 I'm not okay with that.

00:04:04.060 You're basically rinsing me out.

00:04:05.980 And then, after that, you're going to go for someone younger, and then I'm just the first

00:04:10.740 wife, whatever. 1.00

00:04:12.000 I'm not really with that.

00:04:13.980 And then, from there, we kind of started getting put off by each other.

00:04:17.960 So, then that fizzled out.

00:04:19.480 So, it had nothing to do with him wanting me, or him not wanting me.

00:04:22.740 Well, he wasn't the guy you wanted, because he wanted a different thing.

00:04:25.620 But, the point is, like, the guy that matched all those requirements, like, the same guy

00:04:30.160 that matches those requirements and wants monogamy, like, does either, like, he doesn't want

00:04:34.740 you if you're not with him.

00:04:35.780 Are you a Muslim woman?

00:04:38.580 You're Muslim?

00:04:39.380 Yes, but I'm not religious.

00:04:40.840 I'm still practicing religious.

00:04:43.160 But, I am going to become religious one day.

00:04:45.000 So, I do carry some of those points.

00:04:47.040 Could it be the kind of high-value dude that you want to meet, though?

00:04:50.540 He might require that you share him.

00:04:53.940 You know, it could be that you meet another high-value guy who ticks all your boxes, and

00:04:57.680 he's going to say something similar.

00:04:59.040 I always say that, though.

00:05:00.120 But, I always say, I think it's terrible advice that guys give other guys, like, forcing

00:05:04.460 women to accept the fact that other women are going to be in the picture. 1.00

00:05:09.320 Because, women with self-respect, they're not going to accept that. 1.00

00:05:13.460 They're not going to be like, yeah, just bring some other woman into the picture.

00:05:16.760 Like, normal women are not going to tolerate that. 1.00

00:05:19.640 I think a lot of women will tolerate cheating. 1.00

00:05:22.280 Cheating is one thing.

00:05:23.940 Not another main thing.

00:05:24.860 If you can keep it in the shadows, that's different.

00:05:27.980 Cheating is God's work.

00:05:29.600 Because, I think so many women accept... 1.00

00:05:31.420 Cheating is for women. 1.00

00:05:32.540 Men do it for women. 1.00

00:05:33.460 Okay, but you know what's interesting?

00:05:34.520 Women, in a way, accept being side chicks all the time. 1.00

00:05:40.300 Because, we start out in situationships.

00:05:42.940 Right.

00:05:43.300 Right.

00:05:43.580 So, what is that?

00:05:45.260 Don't you think it depends on the society?

00:05:47.380 What do you mean?

00:05:48.260 Like, for example, let's say when a westernized society or an eastern society,

00:05:51.720 don't you think that the way that someone would accept their side chick or not would vary?

00:05:55.520 Yeah, it's going to depend where you're at.

00:05:57.120 I think, like, if you look at...

00:05:57.860 It's more of a western thing, I think.

00:05:58.960 Yeah, I think if you, like, look at somewhere like Dubai or towards the eastern side of things,

00:06:02.840 like, I think they'd look at things more from a, what's my future going to look like financially,

00:06:07.800 how my family, how's things going to be set up.

00:06:09.560 But then, if you come further to, like, the westernized side, I think it's more emotion-based

00:06:13.080 and it's an attention-based economy.

00:06:14.860 That's actually very funny.

00:06:15.740 A lot of Japanese wives, like, when they kind of, like, you know, are kind of checked out, 0.97

00:06:20.100 they just want to be a mom. 1.00

00:06:21.260 Like, Japanese wives are notoriously known for after they have children, 1.00

00:06:25.000 they basically stop having sex with a husband. 0.90

00:06:27.160 Oh.

00:06:27.480 And some of them are just like, just go get a girlfriend.

00:06:31.220 They're just like, yeah, go get a girlfriend. 0.79

00:06:32.540 Because they just want to take care of the kids.

00:06:35.300 Like, when a woman has children, nothing is more important than her children. 1.00

00:06:41.580 That's true.

00:06:41.980 I also agree with you there.

00:06:43.900 But wouldn't you also, back to the possibility that it could be the way that they were also raised in their households.

00:06:51.160 So, for example, let's say that they're raised in their households with the mindsets that, yo, you're going to have a husband one day.

00:06:57.440 So, be like this.

00:06:58.320 Be like that.

00:06:58.880 Be like that.

00:06:59.400 And when you've got all those predetermined, like, rules beforehand, don't you think that kind of affects the romanticism of a relationship?

00:07:05.920 But it doesn't depend on life stage as well, because he's describing, you know, women who are a little bit older, maybe,

00:07:11.300 and they've already been married, they've had their kids, so now their priorities have shifted a bit, you know?

00:07:19.320 You know how you even said, like, oh, could it also be a factor because of age and so on and so forth?

00:07:23.860 Like, I do believe that some factors can combine with other factors.

00:07:26.980 Yeah, of course.

00:07:27.480 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:07:28.160 But I think in the West you get that as well, because you might get the young girl who's, like, happy to party,

00:07:31.900 and she's happy to, you know, be a side chick and everything else,

00:07:34.460 but she's not necessarily going to be so comfortable to accept that when she, you know, when she gets married to a dude. 0.55

00:07:39.240 And I'll say this.

00:07:40.900 The girls that I know who have agreed to be side chicks, like, they're a little off.

00:07:45.580 Why? 0.99

00:07:46.200 They're just, like, they have, like, they have a dick-stained past. 0.97

00:07:52.720 They might be, you know, party people. 0.98

00:07:54.640 They might be addicted to drugs or casually smoke weed and think, like, you know.

00:07:58.620 They're just not, they're not 100% there.

00:08:00.820 But my original statement is agreeing with the young lady over there.

00:08:04.380 I'm sorry, say Haney?

00:08:05.080 Haney.

00:08:05.700 Haney.

00:08:06.260 Haney.

00:08:06.660 Yep.

00:08:07.020 Haney.

00:08:07.240 I was agreeing with Haney, and I talked to, and actually yesterday when I was doing the duo stream with Pearl,

00:08:14.500 and I talked to Pearl about the same thing, I definitely agree.

00:08:17.520 I think it's terrible advice that these content creators are telling regular guys, like,

00:08:25.160 get out there and force your girl to take, to accept you and another woman. 0.98

00:08:30.580 Because the average woman with, like, a fraction of self-respect is just not going to be okay with that. 1.00

00:08:38.400 And if she is, she's not going to love you with the entirety of her being compared to if she knows it's just you two together.

00:08:47.840 I'm curious.

00:08:49.080 You don't have to answer this, but I'm just curious.

00:08:51.300 You keep talking to me.

00:08:52.140 I'll answer anything.

00:08:52.720 The other, like, content creators in the space that push, like, non-monogamy,

00:08:57.840 is that what you've found, like, when you've met their girlfriends, like, something has been off?

00:09:01.480 No.

00:09:01.940 Yeah.

00:09:02.180 This is not a diss at any of these guys or any of their women or any of the things.

00:09:07.140 All I'm saying is from my life experience and talking to other people who are really good at understanding female nature

00:09:14.180 and are dating coaches, and my experience as well, because I did the whole thing.

00:09:18.320 I tried to openly tell, you know, multiple women I was dating them at the same time, and it was hell.

00:09:25.500 Oh, really?

00:09:25.980 What happened?

00:09:26.740 Well, okay. 0.75

00:09:27.520 It was hilarious because, you know, female pettiness knows no end. 1.00

00:09:30.720 Yeah.

00:09:31.140 There was, like, this medicine cabinet in my penthouse that I was living in, Tokyo, right?

00:09:37.880 And one girl would put her stuff in there, and another girl started snooping through it. 0.99

00:09:44.200 And there's two Japanese girls and a Chinese girl.

00:09:45.900 And they all started, like, this silent civil war.

00:09:51.000 Of toothbrushes.

00:09:52.000 Of toothbrushes and makeup in this little medicine cabinet. 0.99

00:09:56.320 And all it did, despite me getting sex and servitude from all these women, it stressed the fuck out of me. 0.99

00:10:03.660 And I was just stressed out from their bullshit fighting at all times. 0.99

00:10:07.120 They never got in line, and they all, all three of them, vented to me every time we got together on how much they hated the other girls. 0.99

00:10:17.340 And eventually, I lost all three of them.

00:10:21.120 So, am I a low-value beta male?

00:10:23.760 I don't know.

00:10:24.260 Shall I tell you what I think the mistake in that is?

00:10:28.640 I think it sounded like they were all three of them had the position of being your main woman. 0.99

00:10:36.220 No, there was a hierarchy there.

00:10:38.980 Yeah, but what I mean is you were giving all three of them a level of emotional and time investment, right?

00:10:45.220 As opposed to having one main girl, right?

00:10:48.440 And then she's like, okay, she understands that maybe every now and again you may exercise a physical option.

00:10:55.220 But that woman isn't going to be leaving her toothbrush around because that woman you're not really dating seriously. 1.00

00:11:00.000 Do you understand what I'm saying?

00:11:00.860 Yeah, I see what you're saying, but I just don't think it's going to, I don't think it works.

00:11:04.300 I don't.

00:11:04.740 Because women, women are so competitive with each other. 1.00

00:11:09.040 Yeah.

00:11:09.340 And they hate each other.

00:11:11.640 And they are so petty.

00:11:12.980 One girl, when she would wash clothes, whatever, and sometimes this other girl left her a bra or panties in my washing machine, 1.00

00:11:20.700 and she would just take it and throw it behind the washing machine. 0.99

00:11:23.420 And then the other girl would always find her underwear. 1.00

00:11:25.420 She's like, somebody's throwing my underwear down there.

00:11:27.480 I was like, no, it's my cleaning lady.

00:11:28.980 I'm so sorry.

00:11:29.660 She's from Vietnam.

00:11:32.940 If you also look at how men and women also express themselves, though,

00:11:37.400 I say men are a lot more close to the physical side of things,

00:11:39.880 and women are a lot more close to the emotional and verbalized side of things. 1.00

00:11:44.760 I think he makes a good point.

00:11:45.840 I mean, there's a couple of content creators that spring to mind who are very, very,

00:11:48.840 they really push this line. 1.00

00:11:50.260 I think it's bullshit. 1.00

00:11:51.220 I don't see it work out. 1.00

00:11:52.500 They really push this line of like, no, you've got to be up front.

00:11:56.300 You've got to be honest with her.

00:11:57.320 This is how the deal is going to be, right? 0.99

00:11:59.020 You may be my main girl, but I'm going to have sex around. 1.00

00:12:03.980 I think it's extremely difficult to pull off, I would say, for the average guy. 0.92

00:12:09.060 There may be some guys who can pull it off.

00:12:12.120 And even then, what longevity that's going to have is another thing.

00:12:16.980 And I'm a guy that's, in regards to success, it's very evident that I'm successful.

00:12:23.960 Putting it down in the bedroom.

00:12:25.620 I take care of everybody.

00:12:27.020 Nobody pays for anything. 0.98

00:12:28.260 I'm not a fucking sim. 0.99

00:12:28.980 I'm not paying bills for any of these hoes. 1.00

00:12:31.020 But when they're with me, dinner's covered.

00:12:35.400 Uber's covered.

00:12:36.200 Everything's sorted.

00:12:37.560 So, I don't know. 0.98

00:12:38.800 Am I such a fucking beta male that they just don't submit to my alphaness? 0.97

00:12:42.760 I don't think that's the case. 0.98

00:12:44.440 And from the women I've talked to, and I asked Pearl yesterday, and now, sorry, is it Hany?

00:12:50.540 Hany, yeah.

00:12:51.080 Hany.

00:12:51.600 Hany, again, just reiterated the same fact that she did not want to be in a situation

00:12:57.340 when a man was juggling multiple women.

00:12:59.220 However, however, however, however, if I now push I'm 40, yeah?

00:13:05.140 Yeah.

00:13:05.460 Single, God forbid.

00:13:07.180 With no kids, God forbid, again.

00:13:09.300 Then my value has decreased massively.

00:13:12.680 So, I'm also aware of that.

00:13:13.880 So, then, from, yeah, to a degree.

00:13:16.800 So, then what I would do is, because I'm desperate at that point, I would be a second wife.

00:13:21.640 But only Islamically, only because I feel like Islamically it can work because there's structure.

00:13:27.420 So, if he has two wives, there's seven days in a week. 0.57

00:13:31.340 Well, calculate it.

00:13:34.100 Two, three me, three her. 0.98

00:13:36.300 Then that one odd day.

00:13:37.300 You're 40.

00:13:37.600 You only get, like, two.

00:13:38.360 No, no, no, no.

00:13:40.900 He has to be even or else he's going to get, he's going to get a sin.

00:13:44.800 So, the way he works is, this usually, men that are more religious usually take that responsibility because it's a big responsibility.

00:13:52.940 He is responsible for me and her.

00:13:55.020 He has to treat us equally.

00:13:56.680 He can't buy one person a sweet and not buy the other one a sweet tomorrow.

00:13:59.700 And he has to split his days equally.

00:14:02.000 So, that one off day in the week, we are rotating.

00:14:05.180 This week is mine.

00:14:06.080 So, I want to add on to that.

00:14:07.880 So, and now, that, in my opinion, adds to my original statement.

00:14:12.560 Because now, this is no longer romantic love.

00:14:15.380 This is transactional love.

00:14:16.480 It is. 1.00

00:14:17.120 You're like, all right, well, here, I'll suck your dick on this day and this day. 1.00

00:14:20.320 It all sounds very, sort of, structured, doesn't it? 1.00

00:14:23.960 Yeah, exactly.

00:14:24.640 I actually think that most love, likely, is transaction.

00:14:29.700 It is.

00:14:30.920 To an extent, yeah.

00:14:31.820 To an extent.

00:14:32.340 Yeah, because, and I think it almost, like, should be, in a way.

00:14:35.040 It should be.

00:14:35.820 Yeah, okay.

00:14:36.480 Why do you think it should be? 0.99

00:14:37.480 Because, hear me out, women find 80% of men is ugly. 0.98

00:14:40.800 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:41.280 80% of men, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. 1.00

00:14:43.360 And, yeah, so. 0.99

00:14:44.800 I can agree with that step, walking around London.

00:14:46.540 What?

00:14:47.020 Yeah.

00:14:48.200 Yeah, so it's like, it's like, women, you know, so it's like, women really only are going to have genuine desire for, like, 20% of men, maybe 25%.

00:14:59.140 So, it's like, what?

00:15:01.400 The other girls, what do they got? 0.99

00:15:02.740 They either die alone or, you know, find some transactional love.

00:15:05.660 What are you who's got the stat about India, though?

00:15:08.360 Marriages, arranged marriages in India and how successful they are.

00:15:11.020 Now, all of Hindus, all Hinduism, divorce rate, 1%. 0.80

00:15:17.700 Yeah.

00:15:18.500 Yeah.

00:15:18.980 But you don't think that's more transactional when it's arranged?

00:15:21.320 It is.

00:15:21.700 No, it is transactional.

00:15:22.780 Or it's more like love. 0.79

00:15:23.940 Well, listen, marriage, the reason why Westerners suck at marriage, namely women, is because they are based, they're basing the backbone of their relationships on feelings. 0.96

00:15:38.160 And feelings are a fleeting thing.

00:15:41.020 Feelings do not stay.

00:15:43.380 It's changing and it's coming and going.

00:15:45.520 And if you're a person who lives your life based upon your feelings only, you're going to have an awful life.

00:15:52.100 Your relationship's going to be awful.

00:15:53.960 Marriage is not based upon feelings.

00:15:56.140 Marriage is a logical commitment between two people, for better, for worse, for rich or for poor, for sick or for health.

00:16:04.100 Am I wrong here?

00:16:04.980 I've got a question for that as well.

00:16:08.680 So the only reason why is because the only things I'm factoring here, I'm also factoring the biological side of things as well.

00:16:16.380 Yeah.

00:16:16.480 And it's like, to some degree, yeah, it's very easy for like, and this isn't in defense, it's just like my opinion in it.

00:16:21.740 It's very easy for like us as men to be like, yo, boom, a female should be logical.

00:16:25.760 Like, say, let's say I'm arguing with my girlfriend.

00:16:27.120 I could be, I could be thinking, yo, she really should be thinking this.

00:16:30.040 But I really do also believe that on the flip side of things, I don't understand that chemistry at all.

00:16:35.380 So it's like, it's like, it's that, that, that battle to find that balance of, you should be logical here to some degree, but you're also battling this, like, how do you do that?

00:16:45.860 Because earlier when you were making a point and you were saying that, that, or was it you that making a point that, oh, some females, you know, they want a bit more attention, da, da, da, da. 1.00

00:16:53.420 And then you made a point earlier saying that, oh, as long as it's equal.

00:16:56.940 But did you see the energy she had when she said, but if he misses that one day, if he misses that one day, that's a sin.

00:17:04.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:06.560 So already, because I like to, like, listen to everyone and speak after a minute, like, from analysing that, she proved a point.

00:17:13.440 She proved that to some degree her emotion will come into it, yeah.

00:17:16.480 And if he does slip up from the statistical transactional side of things, things can go left.

00:17:21.100 And then the issue is, when things go left, how will women react to it going left? 1.00

00:17:25.740 Well, they can go left, definitely.

00:17:27.020 But I think what we were saying about the Hindu statistic is that when it's structured and when it's based on something beyond just emotion,

00:17:35.840 when there's a bigger, a wider structure to it, then it's more likely to last, isn't it, in that situation?

00:17:41.860 Look what happens when women follow their feelings. 1.00

00:17:44.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:45.040 We're friggin' idiots. 1.00

00:17:46.460 Dude, it's a total mess out there. 1.00

00:17:48.200 You know, a hundred years ago, 95% of people were married.

00:17:53.540 Well, 95% of people were less exposed as well?

00:17:55.620 Now, correct.

00:17:56.900 What has that done?

00:17:57.680 So it's like, if 95% of people are married, now women have more power than ever to pick their partner. 0.96

00:18:04.200 We have dating apps, we have Instagram.

00:18:06.240 We have more freedom than we've ever had and less influence from our family because we're getting married at 31, 25.

00:18:12.440 So the more freedom we have, the more divorced our country is.

00:18:17.560 So here's the thing.

00:18:19.240 I get what you're saying.

00:18:20.340 I think the difference is with marriage, especially when you're saying arranged marriage, right, it's about duty.

00:18:25.040 And I think about duty, right, even when you love someone, there are going to be things, in order for it to be successful,

00:18:30.780 there are going to be things that you are going to have to do that you don't want to do.

00:18:34.260 Right?

00:18:34.580 Yes.

00:18:35.400 All these guys are, you know, your content creators, even Pearl, right?

00:18:38.300 Yeah.

00:18:38.460 There are plenty of things about being a content creator.

00:18:41.340 Yeah, we love creating the content, but there are plenty of things that you have to do that we, if we could choose, we wouldn't have to do. 0.99

00:18:46.920 We don't want to buy all the expensive shit.

00:18:48.780 We don't want to have to learn how to make a funnel system. 0.99

00:18:53.440 We don't want to have to learn to do that, right?

00:18:55.520 But we choose to do those things because it's about serving the bigger picture.

00:18:58.720 So I think in marriage, right, when you only function from your feelings, you only make decisions from your feelings,

00:19:05.080 it means there are going to be days where you should be choosing to do something because it's your duty to, even when you don't want to.

00:19:11.080 But for the marriage.

00:19:11.820 Yeah, but that's the problem.

00:19:12.800 But the problem is societally, societally, the big problem now is, of course, there's not really those constraints, is there?

00:19:18.120 So, you know, and that's the fundamental issue.

00:19:20.460 Look what was mentioned earlier, Ron.

00:19:21.800 Someone, I can't remember if it was one of you guys, but someone mentioned how when in a Chinese or Japanese relationship,

00:19:27.760 when someone reached the age of 40 years old, the woman was like, go have sex with who you feel like. 1.00

00:19:33.220 Now, go get a girlfriend. 1.00

00:19:34.680 Go get a girlfriend. 0.95

00:19:35.220 But now, this is the thing, though.

00:19:36.460 Like, I do believe that within a marriage and within a relationship, there are some factors that I think should be maintained throughout from beginning starts to when it ends.

00:19:44.460 And I do think attraction, maybe not even sexual attraction, but just attraction of your partner.

00:19:49.160 I think that's something that should be maintained throughout.

00:19:51.160 And it's like, I think that if, like, what's the, my question is for the balance.

00:19:55.060 The balance of logical things that need to be done and that fun romanticism that's still important as well.

00:20:00.720 I think there should be no balance.

00:20:02.060 There should be no balance.

00:20:03.260 Not, I think, in an ideal world.

00:20:05.940 In an ideal world.

00:20:06.880 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:07.340 Okay.

00:20:07.640 I mean, is that realistic in the West?

00:20:09.900 Maybe if we banned women voting, birth control, and a lot of other stuff. 1.00

00:20:13.080 If we ban TikTok, we'll bring it back.

00:20:14.320 Yeah, that's a whole nother topic.

00:20:16.940 But it's like, we look at the outcomes.

00:20:19.080 There's no feelings involved.

00:20:20.500 99% success rate.

00:20:22.340 Women's feelings get involved. 1.00

00:20:25.100 Yeah.

00:20:25.280 50% success rate.

00:20:27.480 Average age of marriage is eight years.

00:20:29.220 They have, like, 12 bodies.

00:20:30.740 90% of us are on birth control.

00:20:32.560 One out of three of us has an STD.

00:20:34.260 One out of three of us has an abortion.

00:20:36.560 And John Zerk is getting laid like a rock star.

00:20:39.320 Yeah.

00:20:39.880 I mean, what's that all about?

00:20:41.720 Yeah, you know.

00:20:42.840 I think the issue today is that everyone's feelings are being directed in a distracting manner.

00:20:48.880 And I think that's what the issue is.

00:20:50.280 It's not that people have.

00:20:51.260 I think it's women's feelings. 1.00

00:20:52.480 Yeah, women. 1.00

00:20:52.960 I say women's feelings because men don't even necessarily control that element of things. 1.00

00:20:56.060 But in regards to women, I feel like their feelings are being directed towards, oh, wait, 0.99

00:21:00.840 Cardi B just got bought a Birkin bag from Offset.

00:21:04.200 I want my feelings are telling me I now want that.

00:21:06.740 So now that's the definition of what love is to me.

00:21:08.740 I was listening to a song from the 90s, and it was, like, a Trisha Yearwood song.

00:21:15.440 And in the song, it talks about how the guy gave her his high school ring as a wedding ring until he could afford a real one.

00:21:22.100 What percent of women would accept his high school ring as their wedding ring, get married in a courthouse, and maybe do a wedding later? 1.00

00:21:32.560 It's about the wedding.

00:21:34.480 It's not about the marriage.

00:21:35.440 It's like we spend so much time thinking about what is life going to be like?

00:21:40.380 What is this magical wedding day going to be like?

00:21:43.160 But they've never thought, what's it going to be like my day-to-day as a wife?

00:21:46.720 Did you see that?

00:21:47.520 I had a girl come on the show where she was literally telling me how she was going to have four kids and then meditate in the morning, journal. 0.98

00:21:56.040 Like, that was how she was going to start her day with four kids.

00:21:58.560 No.

00:21:58.820 No, this is the delusion.

00:22:00.060 I'm like, someone's going to be screaming.

00:22:01.940 Someone's going to be crying.

00:22:03.320 Someone's going to be pulling you out of bed.

00:22:05.260 But it's like we have all this thought about a wedding and never about being a wife.

00:22:09.620 I agree.

00:22:10.640 You know, they did a study, too, that found out, like, the larger your wedding is, the more likely you are to get a divorce. 1.00

00:22:16.880 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:22:17.740 Right. 1.00

00:22:18.340 You care about appearance.

00:22:20.300 A lot of times, everybody's focused.

00:22:22.140 Because so many people, here's the biggest problem with relationships, is so many people worried about what other people think about your relationship.

00:22:30.420 Yeah.

00:22:30.840 Yes.

00:22:31.160 That's a big problem.

00:22:31.980 But that's the economy right now.

00:22:33.180 You know?

00:22:33.640 And this attention economy, you know, that everybody's like, oh, you know, I need to be this flex culture.

00:22:38.460 I need this, I need that.

00:22:39.500 But if a girl is really down for you, she needs, like, a couple people at the wedding, her family, you know, mom, dad.

00:22:46.880 And have a good time.

00:22:47.800 And at the end of the day, if she really, really, really loves you, she'll get married at the courthouse.

00:22:52.380 She'll sign paperwork because she's understanding the longevity of you two being together is more important than showing the world how awesome you are as a bride.

00:23:01.800 I can relate to this topic a lot because, obviously, I'm a female and I've kind of had to think about these things.

00:23:09.180 Basically, like, from my experience, when I was younger, like, in my early 20s, I'm in my mid-20s now, obviously.

00:23:15.660 But I always refused.

00:23:18.140 I had, like, proposals before and stuff.

00:23:19.940 Like, obviously, us Muslims, we talk about marriage more quicker and all this stuff because it's like a lot of us are trying to do it.

00:23:27.160 Yeah.

00:23:27.220 Culture.

00:23:27.540 Yeah.

00:23:27.760 And then religious, some are more religious than others.

00:23:29.700 So, I was speaking to different guys about marriage, yeah?

00:23:33.100 And I was declining quite a few of them because I didn't really want to have a big wedding.

00:23:40.520 Some, it wasn't because of the finances.

00:23:43.360 Some could have been even, like, the attention, too much attention.

00:23:47.300 All these people for one night, I'm spending all this money and they're going to share it out.

00:23:51.020 And then tomorrow, everyone goes on the day, but we're here dealing with this.

00:23:54.780 So, I always used to be like, no, go away, go away because I want this big wedding.

00:23:59.940 I only have one day to get married.

00:24:02.300 I need to see myself do this.

00:24:04.140 And also, my sister had a big wedding as well.

00:24:06.320 So, I was like, hold on, I'm not going to downgrade.

00:24:10.000 No way.

00:24:10.740 If she can do it, I can do it, too.

00:24:12.840 And then now that I'm in my mid-20s, I feel like I've matured a lot.

00:24:16.080 I'm like, that's not even important because what's important is me and him and getting God involved and committing.

00:24:23.360 Those three things are important.

00:24:25.180 You can always do a celebration later.

00:24:27.620 Yeah.

00:24:28.180 Can we blame men for not wanting to spend a ton of money on a wedding?

00:24:33.300 No, no.

00:24:33.640 When the average marriage is like eight years.

00:24:35.580 Exactly.

00:24:35.900 So, let's make it ten, do something crazy.

00:24:37.560 Exactly.

00:24:38.100 But I was so oblivious to the situation.

00:24:40.260 I wasn't thinking from their side.

00:24:41.320 You're not alone because it's like we always talk about that in the media.

00:24:44.180 It's always talking about the wedding but never being a wife. 0.82

00:24:46.820 Like, what wives? 0.95

00:24:48.060 And traditional wives are really pushed in the media. 1.00

00:24:51.140 Exactly.

00:24:51.460 Like, I couldn't even think of one real homemaker, traditional chick that I've seen on TV that's, like, famous.

00:24:57.140 That's true.

00:24:57.740 I can't think of one.

00:24:58.700 Those lyrics that you're talking about, though, if that was a real story now, that would be a viral TikTok, wouldn't it?

00:25:03.000 Like, oh my God, look at this Brokey.

00:25:04.440 He tried to give me my high school ring.

00:25:07.000 I think of one.

00:25:07.940 LeBron James' wife.

00:25:09.440 Yeah.

00:25:10.000 Yeah.

00:25:10.420 LeBron James' wife.

00:25:11.200 And now name, like, ten mainstream hoes. 1.00

00:25:15.800 That's so easy.

00:25:17.320 It's true.

00:25:17.760 Speaking of this topic, do you guys believe in evil eye?

00:25:20.860 What do you mean?

00:25:21.300 Evil eye.

00:25:21.660 Evil eye.

00:25:22.300 Evil eye.

00:25:22.320 So people can do it.

00:25:23.440 I believe in it.

00:25:24.640 There's evil eye. 0.86

00:25:25.180 They can even, in our religion, we believe in it.

00:25:27.260 Basically, you can do it intentionally or unintentionally.

00:25:30.800 For example, like, you just see someone that looks great or they have this nice thing.

00:25:34.540 When we say that, we say, mashallah, so we don't jinx it accidentally.

00:25:38.840 Not intentionally, but it can accidentally be like, wow, and then we can accidentally jinx that person.

00:25:42.900 So that's actually their thing.

00:25:44.420 So what happens in these big weddings is you're getting all these people involved.

00:25:48.520 They're all seeing who you're marrying, what you lot are able to afford.

00:25:52.440 You are causing a lot of attention, and it could be evil eye as well, intentionally or non-intentionally, regardless.

00:25:57.800 And then now you don't have all this burden.

00:26:00.300 People used to just go to the courthouse, and it was fine.

00:26:03.420 But now, and like the other thing is other women ruin it because they're like, oh, well, my man got me this. 1.00

00:26:08.320 My man got me that.

00:26:09.460 Exactly.

00:26:09.780 A lot of the times the girl's saying that, it's because something's wrong.

00:26:14.260 But when you say as well that, like, you know how you said that it's also about being a wife, yeah?

00:26:18.880 Like, I'm looking at, like, my generation as well.

00:26:21.180 Like, I'm 23 in it, and I'm, like, I have friends which are, like, much younger than me.

00:26:25.160 A lot of them don't focus on the individualized person.

00:26:28.900 Like, a lot of them, yeah.

00:26:30.200 Because let's say that you can take someone that wants to be a perfect housewife and someone that wants to be a perfect househusband, put them together, and it still probably won't work.

00:26:37.360 And I think the reason why is because of the way they romanticize the idea.

00:26:40.620 They'll say, okay, cool.

00:26:43.140 I've been trained by my mom to become a wife so I can be ready for a husband.

00:26:47.500 Then she finds out that you've got a habit that just puts her off and gives her the ick.

00:26:50.760 Now she doesn't want the marriage anymore. 1.00

00:26:51.720 But let's say that the romanticism came with her saying, but I really like the way he smiles.

00:26:58.440 I really like the way he is.

00:26:59.680 I really like the way he thinks.

00:27:01.400 Like, let's say that she grew the idea of building towards marriage alongside with his personality involved as well.

00:27:07.120 That's when I believe that she'd know what type of end product she's going to get with. 0.88

00:27:10.680 Is it to do with?

00:27:11.560 I think you look more at the families and their values more than personality.

00:27:16.040 I think women get wooed by personality. 1.00

00:27:17.720 Come on, you know that guy that's a sweet talker.

00:27:21.720 You know that guy that's a sweet talker.

00:27:23.660 And those girls keep on getting finessed and finessed. 1.00

00:27:28.140 Look at her nail it in her head. 1.00

00:27:29.480 And I'm a guy that lives in Tokyo talking about this.

00:27:32.060 And there's a girl here in the UK agreeing with me.

00:27:33.900 But equally.

00:27:34.560 They get finessed again and again.

00:27:36.980 Most don't mind manipulators.

00:27:39.440 No, no, no.

00:27:41.240 She's not meeting manipulator after manipulator. 1.00

00:27:44.280 She's an idiot. 1.00

00:27:47.580 But equally. 1.00

00:27:49.380 All these master manipulators are not out there.

00:27:52.120 No one was a narcissist.

00:27:53.220 Equally, I think some women can be. 1.00

00:27:55.600 I mean, I dated a woman some years ago.

00:27:58.440 And she was in her later 20s.

00:27:59.560 English girl, right. 0.98

00:28:00.620 And I just felt like.

00:28:01.840 And she was really pushing things towards marriage.

00:28:04.420 You know, she really wanted marriage. 0.99

00:28:05.460 She really wanted commitment.

00:28:06.320 And quite quickly as well.

00:28:07.540 And I just felt, right.

00:28:10.040 My sense of it.

00:28:10.980 My spidey senses were tingling.

00:28:12.260 I felt that I was sort of irrelevant, really.

00:28:15.600 It could have been me.

00:28:16.480 But equally, it could have been some other dude.

00:28:18.060 That's what I'm saying.

00:28:18.560 You know, she really wanted marriage. 0.99

00:28:19.900 That's the point I was saying.

00:28:20.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:21.560 You're wanting them to want you for you.

00:28:22.980 Yeah.

00:28:23.560 To some degree, of course.

00:28:25.200 She liked me.

00:28:25.660 I'm sure, you know.

00:28:26.800 She liked me to some degree, whatever.

00:28:28.220 But equally, it was sort of like.

00:28:30.580 She wanted the Instagram pictures.

00:28:32.440 She wanted the, you know.

00:28:33.800 The idea of a boyfriend.

00:28:35.120 But can you see, like, that's the only element.

00:28:37.820 You see, that's the only element I'm trying to avoid with, yes, the ideology of your marriage.

00:28:43.020 Fair play.

00:28:43.560 But I'd also want her to grow with me as a person whilst liking what I can provide as a man.

00:28:48.600 Because I'm not saying that, oh, you should just like me.

00:28:51.280 And that should overcompensate with me being lazy.

00:28:53.020 I do think that all men should be working. 0.97

00:28:55.360 I do think that.

00:28:56.120 Well, if.

00:28:57.360 Yeah, but I think.

00:28:58.260 In my opinion.

00:28:58.880 I think we sell guys a dream that girls like them for them. 1.00

00:29:02.640 Yeah, I know.

00:29:03.380 But this is my balance, though.

00:29:04.760 I'm saying that balance it.

00:29:06.100 I'm not saying now don't work.

00:29:07.820 I'm saying be the best version of yourself.

00:29:09.520 Right.

00:29:09.700 So and so forth.

00:29:10.380 But also make sure that the person you're selecting also likes you.

00:29:13.360 Can I ask you a question?

00:29:14.080 So wait.

00:29:14.540 What did you mean by that?

00:29:15.740 I just mean, like.

00:29:16.780 I think we tell guys just be yourself and, like, women will come.

00:29:20.560 And I just think that that's not particularly true.

00:29:23.060 So do you think it is really transactional?

00:29:24.860 You don't think, like, a girl will look at a guy.

00:29:26.080 I think nowadays it is.

00:29:27.480 I think maybe it used to be different.

00:29:29.380 You know, we look more at families and values.

00:29:31.320 But now it's like girls will just ask how much money you make. 0.97

00:29:34.040 Girl, I mean.

00:29:34.820 What if someone's naturally ambitious, though?

00:29:36.520 Like, let's say that they've got an absolute desire to get back on their phone and hustle

00:29:40.700 because that's their routine before they even was in a relationship.

00:29:43.180 And let's say that's part of my natural personality.

00:29:45.060 Another girl could look at that and be like, oh, this guy never has time for me. 1.00

00:29:48.620 Yeah.

00:29:48.880 It's ironic, though.

00:29:51.160 It's ironic because women want the end fruits of the success. 1.00

00:29:54.660 But actually, they can sometimes.

00:29:56.060 I mean, sometimes.

00:29:56.840 And maybe you've had different experiences.

00:29:58.540 But sometimes they can also sort of impede.

00:30:01.720 You know, if you're like, right, I want to spend 12 hours hustling.

00:30:03.940 She's like, no, no, I want to go to the store.

00:30:05.540 You know.

00:30:06.980 Like, yeah.

00:30:07.940 There's a difference between, like, women who want a high-value guy and women who know how to deal with. 0.98

00:30:15.180 Who will support a high-value guy.

00:30:16.600 Who know how to deal with the reality, the day in, day out of a high-value guy.

00:30:20.560 Like, I was dating a girl.

00:30:22.080 And one time she was like, you know, we need more quality time together.

00:30:25.180 I'm like, what do you mean?

00:30:25.740 You're over here all the time.

00:30:27.660 You know?

00:30:28.400 I was like, you're like, the fact that I even let you into my life is a quality in itself.

00:30:33.340 Yeah.

00:30:33.860 But they want you to really give them an extreme amount of attention.

00:30:39.740 But, you know, you have to convey to these women, like, look, that's not how this is going to work. 0.98

00:30:45.080 Like, you can go find another guy.

00:30:47.080 Maybe he's good at guitar.

00:30:48.140 He can play you a song.

00:30:49.240 Yeah.

00:30:49.480 But you guys are going to fly economy.

00:30:51.600 But if you want a high-value dude and you want a guy that is dedicated to something bigger than the both of you put together, you're going to have to make some compromises.

00:30:59.880 Yes.

00:31:00.460 But you'll be compromising in business class.

00:31:02.340 So, like, you've got to choose your, you know, choose your fortune that you want to go for. 0.77

00:31:06.940 Is it the love and the romanticism and all this shit that is eventually going to fade away or something that's going to last a little bit longer? 0.83

00:31:12.780 But I think right now, ultimately, because in the Western world, right, because I live in Asia, and so in the Western world, they're just constantly lying to women, saying, you can have it all. 0.98

00:31:26.200 Yeah.

00:31:26.280 You can be a CEO and a mother and have the perfect guy and never have relationship problems, and you'll be debt-free, and you're not going to be fat, and everybody's going to love you, and you're never going to stop losing attention from men.

00:31:37.160 You're going to be beautiful until your 50s like J-Lo, and that's just not the reality.

00:31:41.580 That's actually partially what got me into this content was because I would hear women talk about how they wanted to date a high-value guy, and I'm just, like, thinking, and I think of, like, my dad working growing up, and I'm, like, you think you're going to have date nights every Friday with a guy that's working 30 hours a week?

00:31:55.180 Yeah, that's true.

00:31:56.840 Good luck.

00:31:57.760 Like, I hope it works out for you, but it's just not realistic.

00:32:01.200 I have a question for you, based on what you were saying earlier.

00:32:03.300 Yeah, I've got to take off.

00:32:03.780 Do you believe that you can learn to love someone?

00:32:08.360 Do you believe you can learn to love someone?

00:32:10.400 They can grow on you, I think.

00:32:12.240 You learn to love every person you ever love because every person you love, you never love the same as another person.

00:32:17.580 Because you know how you were saying about, oh, a girl kind of, you know, meets with a guy who could be a perfect husband, but then he does something, and that's her ick, and she's like, nah, I'm out.

00:32:24.560 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:25.040 So, I would say to that, I'd be like, she is not wifey material. 1.00

00:32:29.860 So, she's not the perfect wife, because if something that he's doing that isn't a jeopardy to the relationship, like, he's got a weird snore or something.

00:32:38.080 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:38.620 Right?

00:32:38.820 And she's like, I can see he's a great quality guy, he's committed, and I could have a good future with him, but because of this one thing, I'm going to jeopardize all of that.

00:32:46.080 I would say she's not serious about the marriage.

00:32:47.520 What I would say to that is that, in general, yeah, every relationship you get into, you're going to find things that you love about your partner, and things that you dislike about your partner, like, very naturally in it.

00:32:56.720 And what I'd also say to that is that, like, if, let's say that, okay, cool, we can all, in our own heads, pick what we deem as important and not important.

00:33:06.180 So, the way she could deem, you don't need to be on your Instagram DMing people so much, you could be like, no, this is my bread.

00:33:12.400 And it's really about how you, like, balance whilst growing with each other, because I really think that a lot of these red flags, people act like they can't see red flags.

00:33:20.180 They act like, they'll see all these.

00:33:21.780 No, men will admit there's red flags.

00:33:25.100 Women are the ones that are like, oh, he changed as soon as we started dating. 1.00

00:33:28.440 When it's like, okay, but the question you have to ask is, did your parents like him?

00:33:32.620 They're like, well, but no.

00:33:35.780 You know what you said earlier on about women rushing to get married because they like the idea of marriage and wedding, but they're not thinking the actual concept of becoming a wife and the responsibilities of it.

00:33:47.140 I've actually had a friend that literally got married because of the idea of marriage and kids quickly.

00:33:53.980 And then within being a wife process, the man was like asking her to cook every night because she's at home, taking care of the baby. 0.59

00:34:02.140 He's working.

00:34:03.000 So, of course, she should be like at least patting the house, cooking and cleaning.

00:34:05.920 She didn't want to do it.

00:34:06.680 She didn't want to do it.

00:34:08.320 He was like, what?

00:34:09.560 He went to his mom's house, complained, his mom's food, came back.

00:34:12.500 And she's on the phone to me saying, oh, he's expecting dinner tonight.

00:34:16.700 And I'm telling her, girl, I'm not married and I'm single.

00:34:19.520 Even I know that you have to be in that kitchen.

00:34:21.280 Well, I'm just thinking, like, doesn't she have to eat?

00:34:24.700 So, she has to cook for herself anyway. 0.90

00:34:26.360 Yeah, exactly.

00:34:26.760 Just make it a little extra.

00:34:28.560 You know what she said?

00:34:29.660 She said, I'd rather eat something quick or maybe a takeaway that I can't be arsed.

00:34:35.360 And I told her, like, I'm not going to lie.

00:34:36.840 This is your responsibility.

00:34:38.520 Your man is completely right in this.

00:34:40.220 If you care for your marriage and you want to stay married, you better be in that kitchen and make sure that food is ready before 8 o'clock.

00:34:47.480 Well, it shows a modern mindset because she cares about what she wants, not what's best for the family. 1.00

00:34:51.620 It's not good for a family to have these quick meals.

00:34:53.980 Like, it's good for the family to have the quality sit down.

00:34:57.220 But that's the thing.

00:34:57.820 That lowers, like, depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness.

00:35:01.400 That, it's a gigantic important thing for a family to sit down and have regular meals.

00:35:06.900 I was just happy that she called me to ask me.

00:35:09.860 I said, you called the right person, go in that kitchen.

JustPearlyThings - July 26, 2023

Modern Women Don't Understand The Concept Of MARRIAGE

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