JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


Modern women FAIL To Understand this

Topics
friend groups
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Kevin Samuels Pearl Will
Aunty Jenny goes on an Epic Rant Pearl DEBUNKS the ＂PATRIACHY＂ fallacy

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

194.92

Word count

2,001

Sentence count

182

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend and business partner, to talk about how to deal with a man who doesn t want to talk to you. We talk about what we should do about it, how to handle it, and how to overcome it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 What would you say for girls, because a lot of girls get mad their boyfriends won't post them. 0.99
00:00:07.100 Do you think that's a reasonable thing to be mad about?
00:00:09.460 Absolutely not. I think he should embrace if he wants to protect you.
00:00:14.200 See, that's so much better of a mindset.
00:00:18.340 Because in all honesty, I used to get mad about that when I was younger.
00:00:22.540 Me too.
00:00:22.880 And then it's just like, I didn't realize that he was doing it because of the problems that came with it later.
00:00:30.480 And in all honesty, like in hindsight, I realized I was wrong about that because it's like, I don't know.
00:00:37.800 I saw the problems that came with it.
00:00:40.440 Yeah, the way that men look at the world, they operate like the enemy is always at the gate.
00:00:46.400 They are looking ahead at what's going to happen after.
00:00:49.740 And as women, we often think about the moment, right?
00:00:52.980 We think about, oh, it's going to feel so good to be claimed, to be spoken for.
00:00:56.620 I want that, you know?
00:00:57.940 I went through the same thing where it was kind of like, oh, why do we have to keep this quiet?
00:01:03.080 But I held it together.
00:01:05.060 And I'm so happy now, especially having a public platform that, you know, nobody needs to know.
00:01:10.380 Because you can ask yourself, okay, we make a post.
00:01:14.200 We are, what do they call it, Instagram public or Facebook public?
00:01:17.580 And then what?
00:01:18.520 Everybody that you know is going to have an opinion about it.
00:01:22.840 So then you're going to find yourself explaining.
00:01:24.200 They'll start overanalyzing every interaction.
00:01:27.000 I mean, you see it all the time on, I mean, I do it first.
00:01:29.520 I do it sometimes, you know, like on social media, like Will and Jada.
00:01:34.480 They were the perfect couple.
00:01:35.980 And now everyone overanalyzes every little thing.
00:01:39.460 Absolutely.
00:01:39.980 You know?
00:01:40.380 Just like the two ladies that shared their body count. 1.00
00:01:42.920 Whether your body count is high or low, I would recommend keep it very low.
00:01:46.980 Why does anybody need to know?
00:01:48.580 That moment, that little thrill that you got that I have 27 people that I've slept with or five people that I've slept with.
00:01:54.960 Now that it's out there in the universe, how is that helping you?
00:02:00.420 You know?
00:02:00.720 And we're talking about Kevin Samuels.
00:02:02.460 He always used to ask, what does that past bring the future husband that you want?
00:02:07.880 So there are some things you just need to take to the grave.
00:02:11.540 Wow.
00:02:12.880 What else on here?
00:02:15.020 All right.
00:02:15.620 We talked about social media.
00:02:17.020 So we have social media on here, but I would also add like friend groups.
00:02:21.460 Oh, because where do you think?
00:02:22.760 Oh, I was going to ask this earlier.
00:02:23.860 As women, we need to talk about our problems more than men. 0.78
00:02:28.820 Absolutely.
00:02:29.100 Would you agree with that?
00:02:29.880 Yes.
00:02:29.980 So when something's frustrating us, I feel like sometimes men, this is a fight that I feel like I see happen.
00:02:37.320 And it's like a very much like the sexes don't understand each other. 0.92
00:02:40.360 Because women, we want to talk about our problems, right? 1.00
00:02:42.980 And men want to solve them.
00:02:44.640 All the time.
00:02:44.920 So if we go to the men, they get frustrated.
00:02:47.640 Absolutely.
00:02:48.040 Because they're like, well, you're not asking me to solve it.
00:02:54.660 But at the same time, the men don't understand, well, why don't you just not talk about it?
00:02:58.700 Right.
00:02:59.240 And where do you think women should go to talk about their problems? 1.00
00:03:03.000 So a couple of things.
00:03:04.420 You definitely need a group of other women that want to hear all the details if you want to share them, but also want you to win. 1.00
00:03:12.560 So it's really important to have that group.
00:03:14.600 That's another project that I'm working on.
00:03:16.220 We can talk about later if you want to.
00:03:17.680 But you have to understand the way that men think.
00:03:21.280 And if you are going to talk to him, I would reverse the order.
00:03:25.360 So if you're asking him to make a decision, lead with that.
00:03:28.660 So sometimes I'll tell my guy, I don't know, let's say something at work happened.
00:03:33.140 You know, I will say, you know, should I do this?
00:03:35.480 Should I travel for this meeting or should I stay home?
00:03:37.800 And then all the reasons why I think it might be a good thing or a bad thing.
00:03:41.800 Sometimes as women, we give all that detail and men are looking for how do I, how do I, how do I, yeah, exactly.
00:03:50.720 I just can't think of a couple of times.
00:03:52.360 Right.
00:03:52.820 So it's exhausting for them.
00:03:54.360 You can even use that in the business world.
00:03:56.220 Like even in a meeting, like set an agenda.
00:03:58.600 The purpose of this meeting is, or what I want to be able to do after this meeting is make a go, no go decision.
00:04:03.940 Try to operate that way and just understand if a man doesn't want all of that, it's not that he loves you any less.
00:04:11.480 It's just that it's a burden that he can't do anything with.
00:04:15.240 So help him help you.
00:04:17.500 So find some girlfriends if you must to talk about it.
00:04:21.540 But if you are going to talk to your man, lead first and then ask him, do you want the detail?
00:04:26.680 He may say no and be okay with that.
00:04:29.420 That's a great advice.
00:04:31.580 What else on here?
00:04:33.580 Anything else we're missing?
00:04:35.560 I don't know.
00:04:36.140 What did they say?
00:04:36.780 I did.
00:04:36.980 Do we put friend groups on there?
00:04:38.380 Cause I think, Oh yeah, that's, that's so true.
00:04:41.740 You know, I, there's this girl I follow.
00:04:43.720 I wanted a reaction to it.
00:04:45.100 Okay.
00:04:46.060 Um, no, I didn't, well, I didn't, maybe, maybe I could show you actually, but she, um, I followed this girl.
00:04:54.560 Her name's like bunny on Tik TOK and she's a big age gap, right? 1.00
00:04:59.480 She's dating guys like 25 years older.
00:05:01.380 And how, okay.
00:05:02.500 And I just saw the slow evolution of her being married and she moved to LA to like pursue the social media stuff.
00:05:09.780 And then she started hanging out with some other single moms and then they started going to all these events and I just remember like watching in real time thing.
00:05:19.240 And this girl is going to get divorced because she's not acting like the wife, no, really. 1.00
00:05:24.300 She's wearing these scantily clothed outfits.
00:05:26.580 And I'm just like, she's, she's, she, I just saw a video of her crying on Tik TOK talking about how she got divorced and I was, yeah, I was thinking the friend group's important.
00:05:38.580 So what, what are you, were you going to say about friend groups?
00:05:40.920 Right. I think it's important to know who's going to be in your circle, uh, and share that with your spouse.
00:05:46.680 So, you know, he may ask you to cut off some male friends or some girlfriends that aren't really helping you be your best self.
00:05:55.260 Um, if you have expectations or you like to do, I don't know, girls trips or guys trips, or, you know, go out, all of that has to be talked about.
00:06:04.320 And I would say, if he's not a fan of it, you should lay it down because ultimately he's the one responsible for you.
00:06:12.900 Wow.
00:06:14.640 He's the one.
00:06:15.900 What else?
00:06:17.460 Hmm.
00:06:18.080 I'm going to milk you for all the information.
00:06:19.620 I see.
00:06:20.940 This is super, this is actually super helpful.
00:06:23.080 You're bringing up a lot of stuff I never even thought about.
00:06:25.320 Oh, well, thank you.
00:06:26.960 Um, you know, we, we talked about health.
00:06:29.280 I think, uh, in addition to the food, any habits, like how much you drink, if you smoke, if you do any of that kind of stuff, you know, you shouldn't assume that people are, you know, just okay with it.
00:06:41.340 Hopefully you treat your body well, but if you like to do anything, you know, recreationally, um, I would advise, highly advise against it.
00:06:50.980 But, you know, you just want to be on the same page.
00:06:53.760 You don't want someone saying, oh, it's natural.
00:06:55.520 And someone saying, I don't want you to put that in your body.
00:06:57.600 When I was married, my ex-husband didn't even want me to use certain lotions when I was expecting, because he didn't want, you know, anything too strong on the baby.
00:07:07.060 And I said, doesn't make sense to me, but you know what?
00:07:09.600 Doesn't have to make sense to me.
00:07:11.160 I'm going to let it go.
00:07:11.780 This is not the hill I'm trying to die on.
00:07:15.360 How much you drink, if you smoke.
00:07:17.240 Yeah, any of that kind of stuff.
00:07:18.840 What else?
00:07:20.820 Ah, let's see.
00:07:22.000 Do you listen to Pearl?
00:07:22.860 Okay.
00:07:24.640 Um, goodness.
00:07:27.600 If you feel like this is it, then we can.
00:07:29.820 I think this is pretty good.
00:07:30.960 I don't know if anybody else has said anything.
00:07:32.560 If anything else comes to mind.
00:07:33.640 They said it's about facts, not I feel like.
00:07:35.560 I know.
00:07:35.940 Sometimes when I think, when I talk, I say I feel like.
00:07:39.140 Oh, yeah.
00:07:40.140 Um, let's see.
00:07:41.680 Willing to compromise.
00:07:43.100 Yeah.
00:07:43.400 Um, if single mothers apply, must provide character reference and be transparent about the relationship status with the co-parents of the child. 0.91
00:07:50.800 What do you do under stressful situations, they said?
00:07:55.540 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:56.540 I think we talked about the stressful situations in that communication section, knowing how you handle that.
00:08:01.920 But I do agree.
00:08:02.880 I mean, we talked about this yesterday.
00:08:04.220 I'm not necessarily a believer that that big, beautiful, blended family is always the best thing.
00:08:11.440 I know it can work, but it's extremely hard.
00:08:13.820 So I'm not doing that.
00:08:15.520 But I do agree.
00:08:16.560 If you do have children or if there's any other thing that you're attached to, what is the relationship with the other parent?
00:08:23.440 Because even if they're just, you know, happily, um, going along, things change when, when you get married.
00:08:32.040 We talked about that yesterday.
00:08:33.300 And someone may say, you know, well, I don't want that person around my kids.
00:08:37.400 You just kind of know what you're walking into.
00:08:39.160 So that's why I kind of, you know, beware.
00:08:41.980 Yeah.
00:08:42.840 So you talked about earlier the types of marriages.
00:08:46.020 That's what, so you said executive marriage or political, political marriage.
00:08:51.800 Right.
00:08:52.160 And for me, that's just the type of marriage, you know, we had a certain president and I'm not saying anything politically,
00:08:59.080 but if you have a president, a senator, a governor, maybe this is someone that was selected for them to help soften their masculine image,
00:09:08.260 but they may go their separate marriage.
00:09:10.640 Um, is it, you know, a marriage for papers?
00:09:13.100 You know, maybe it's like, um, an immigration situation that you all agree.
00:09:17.260 This is what we're going to do.
00:09:18.320 Uh, it could be a military marriage where, you know, you want somebody to be, um, you know, yours when you come back home,
00:09:26.200 but they're going to have to live, I don't know, 11, 12 months alone.
00:09:30.140 Um, I think when we say marriage, we have an, um, an understanding of what it means to us,
00:09:37.140 but we have to make sure that the person we're marrying wants that same type of marriage.
00:09:41.160 Cause if he wants to just be like, is my dinner ready?
00:09:43.580 And then you go your way and I go my way.
00:09:45.360 And you really want somebody to bond with and laugh with you guys are thinking about marriage completely differently.
00:09:51.480 And none is better than others, but you just got to make sure that the type of wife or husband that you want to be matches with the type of marriage that you want to have.
00:09:59.700 As many of you know, I was just banned on Tik TOK and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:10:07.300 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.