JustPearlyThings - Modern Women Get A RUDE Awakening

00:00:00.000 You're saying me having a business is wanting to have a business as long as I stay at home.

00:00:04.360 The reason you want a career is for better outcome financially and lifestyle, you want a better lifestyle.

00:00:10.600 No, but if I'm staying at home at that point, I'm already there.

00:00:12.840 What I'm saying is...

00:00:13.780 What do you want the business for?

00:00:15.600 Like, what is it for?

00:00:16.180 To keep me active.

00:00:16.700 That's what I'm saying.

00:00:17.740 Okay, okay, okay.

00:00:18.440 But this is...

00:00:19.280 Wait, wait, wait.

00:00:19.880 This is the point.

00:00:21.240 Me.

00:00:22.520 Your answer.

00:00:23.780 Me.

00:00:24.060 Yeah, to keep me active.

00:00:25.860 That's my point.

00:00:26.660 It's a modern mindset.

00:00:27.660 I'm not saying if it's right or it's wrong.

00:00:29.280 So what you're saying, I get you.

00:00:30.660 Know thyself.

00:00:31.600 It's just, that's a modern mindset.

00:00:33.500 But then at the same time, as long as I'm keeping myself active, if I can't keep myself active,

00:00:37.560 how am I going to be able to, this is my opinion, how would I be able to sustain that home and

00:00:40.900 make it happy and cook and clean if I'm not happy with myself?

00:00:43.640 What has being active got to do with going to work?

00:00:45.480 You can be active.

00:00:46.020 For her mental health.

00:00:46.520 No, no, no.

00:00:48.580 But if you're saying...

00:00:50.620 That's your interpretation.

00:00:52.440 If you operate a business, it's all based on financial gain.

00:00:56.380 No, it's not.

00:00:57.160 That's not business.

00:00:57.980 Then it's not a business.

00:00:58.640 It's a hobby.

00:00:59.580 First of all, my business is profit.

00:01:00.820 And if you're not making any profit, then her business is creative.

00:01:04.360 Wait, guys, guys, guys, guys, one at a time.

00:01:06.080 First of all, my business is creative.

00:01:07.580 I'm not only creative.

00:01:08.340 So why do you run a business?

00:01:09.500 Why do I run a business?

00:01:10.340 Because I have a passion.

00:01:11.280 She also inspires.

00:01:12.280 Would you do it for free?

00:01:13.120 Can you let me finish?

00:01:14.560 The business I run is not just a business for financial gain because I give a lot back.

00:01:18.420 It's not a business then?

00:01:19.240 Can you let me finish?

00:01:19.920 I put on events and I also do it to inspire and to single mothers and people like me and people

00:01:24.980 are not like me.

00:01:25.600 So it's not just to...

00:01:26.720 But the whole...

00:01:27.480 She's right.

00:01:28.240 It's not a business if you're not making money.

00:01:29.780 It's a hobby.

00:01:29.860 But the thing is, I am making money.

00:01:31.040 But at the same time, it's not a gain.

00:01:33.340 It's to give back.

00:01:34.160 It's not just for me.

00:01:35.200 I'm not living off this business because I work at the same time.

00:01:38.860 This is a business that I've put on.

00:01:40.520 It's not a business then if it's not about money.

00:01:42.200 Can you let me finish?

00:01:42.860 I didn't say it's business is profit.

00:01:44.020 It's a passion project.

00:01:45.800 It's a passion project.

00:01:46.620 It's something that I'm talking about.

00:01:47.360 It makes money and it's not just about money.

00:01:50.000 Okay.

00:01:50.420 But the thing is, I get profit.

00:01:52.280 I'm not living off that profit.

00:01:53.720 I put it right back into business.

00:01:54.480 I think you've been in denial because I run a business.

00:01:56.180 I'm not being in denial.

00:01:56.900 I run a business and I'm very passionate about what I do.

00:01:59.860 Like there's been times I've done it for years.

00:02:01.040 But can I just answer your point?

00:02:02.080 You're saying to me that the business I would want to do is based on finances and based on profit.

00:02:06.560 If that was the case, I wouldn't work.

00:02:08.060 I would just solely run off my business.

00:02:08.980 Business is profit, I'm saying.

00:02:10.560 So if you're doing business for any other needs other than profit, it's not a business.

00:02:14.360 It's a hobby.

00:02:14.960 Okay.

00:02:15.140 Can you go back to the point where you said it's based on something about not love?

00:02:18.280 It's based on, you said something else.

00:02:20.060 I was on about family unit.

00:02:21.800 Like, I don't know.

00:02:22.640 You've gone too back to.

00:02:23.700 I think what she's basically saying is you're more focused on maintaining your child rather than raising your child.

00:02:28.980 No, because my child is, it's not about that.

00:02:31.000 It's not about maintaining.

00:02:31.920 What I realised as a mother and from life experiences, you have to be, you actually have to put your mind first,

00:02:38.440 your mental health first.

00:02:39.640 You cannot raise a child in the best way possible if you're not mentally stable.

00:02:43.580 In what society?

00:02:45.100 In what society has society, what era has society flourished putting me before the family?

00:02:50.580 It's not about putting me.

00:02:51.740 Your child comes first. 0.92

00:02:54.400 Your child comes first. 0.92

00:02:55.100 Of course your child comes, 100%.

00:02:56.520 I'm not saying, my child comes before everything.

00:02:58.280 But you can't help everything.

00:02:59.020 It doesn't come before everything because you want a business before your child.

00:03:01.660 No, but I didn't say I want a business before my child.

00:03:02.520 You're in control of your happiness.

00:03:03.700 Yeah, you're in control of your happiness.

00:03:05.300 However, can I finish?

00:03:06.680 My child, without a shadow of a doubt, comes before everything.

00:03:10.140 Every single thing that I do.

00:03:11.380 I've even stopped working to make sure that my child was okay.

00:03:13.960 I've reduced my hours to make sure that my child is okay.

00:03:16.480 However, doing that, I realise if you're not right mentally, you can't...

00:03:20.340 I think you're in denial because I'm going to be real here.

00:03:22.540 You can't say I'm in denial.

00:03:23.720 I'm going to be real.

00:03:24.560 As a mother.

00:03:25.140 I believe that.

00:03:25.820 That's her outlet. 0.70

00:03:26.660 Basically, that's her outlet to make sure she's stably and mentally correct for her child. 0.99

00:03:32.220 But it's all for financial gain.

00:03:33.980 She's in denial.

00:03:35.220 Can I speak?

00:03:36.080 Can I speak?

00:03:36.700 You can't say I'm in denial because I would do it for free.

00:03:39.320 She would do it for free.

00:03:40.280 It's a passion project.

00:03:42.160 That's just her way, basically, her way of her outlet, in it, of her releasing herself from her child. 0.99

00:03:48.700 She'd prefer to go and do business, whereas some people might do a marathon. 1.00

00:03:54.780 You're still focusing your energy a bit away.

00:03:57.220 But her point is that if it's not about profit, it's not a business, then it's a hobby.

00:04:01.900 And, you know, maybe it is a hobby.

00:04:03.200 And maybe eventually, actually, my main goal eventually is to turn it into a charity.

00:04:06.700 It's my daughter's name.

00:04:08.380 I respect you.

00:04:09.280 It's passionate.

00:04:10.060 I understand that.

00:04:10.880 It's very passionate.

00:04:11.880 And I don't live off it.

00:04:13.120 That was not my aim.

00:04:14.100 But the point is, you're saying you would rather spend 30% of the week on you than on the family.

00:04:19.360 And it's just, it's a modern answer.

00:04:20.940 And so when you're saying it's not a modern answer, it's just not true.

00:04:25.020 It is a modern answer.

00:04:25.860 You're saying that, like, she's not with her in the morning.

00:04:27.920 She's not with her at night.

00:04:28.780 She's not with her to drop her to school. 0.82

00:04:29.540 But that's maintaining a child.

00:04:30.820 Raising a child and maintaining a child is two different things.

00:04:32.860 No, but the thing is, you can't say that because I raised my child.

00:04:36.320 No one's saying you're wrong in saying that, you know?

00:04:38.880 I don't believe that.

00:04:39.900 If you're sending your kid to school and loads of people will disagree here,

00:04:43.060 you're not really raising your child because for eight hours a day,

00:04:45.900 and then you get these independent women that get up in the morning and do breakfast club and after club. 1.00

00:04:50.880 That's like 10 hours a day.

00:04:52.400 My mom doesn't do breakfast or after club. 1.00

00:04:53.520 I'm just saying, people do this, like, they'll send the kids for 10 hours a day, yeah?

00:04:58.040 So do you think you're not?

00:04:58.740 Can I speak?

00:04:59.140 Can I speak?

00:05:00.280 She's right.

00:05:01.140 For 10 hours a day, yeah, your kids at school, come home after care, 6 o'clock,

00:05:06.060 have a wash, watch TV, go to bed.

00:05:08.160 You're not even seeing your child.

00:05:09.280 No, but I see my child because she has activities every single day.

00:05:11.420 You're telling me she goes to school?

00:05:12.540 So you're not raising your child.

00:05:13.860 Your child's being programmed to the social norm.

00:05:16.280 I don't agree with that.

00:05:17.000 You have to raise your child because-

00:05:18.540 You're not raising your child?

00:05:19.700 I am raising my child.

00:05:20.440 No, you're not raising my child.

00:05:21.520 No, she's right.

00:05:22.600 And I mean, I feel like that makes socially awkward people.

00:05:25.280 I want to-

00:05:25.540 I want to-

00:05:25.560 I want to-

00:05:25.580 I want to-

00:05:26.180 My child's not socially awkward.

00:05:28.040 My child is so confident.

00:05:30.180 She teaches a class of 30 children and 30 people.

00:05:33.120 Why does she teach that? 1.00

00:05:34.020 My classes, I run classes, and she teaches people. 0.99

00:05:37.200 She's more confident than the average girl.

00:05:39.440 When you send your child to school, that you're not raising them at all.

00:05:41.900 You're giving another adult-

00:05:43.060 So what, how does she-

00:05:43.900 Wait, you're giving another adult time to-

00:05:45.680 more time to spend with your child than you will.

00:05:47.780 Yeah.

00:05:48.320 That's it.

00:05:48.760 I mean, and I'll say I went to school, but there were times when I certainly spent more time

00:05:53.220 with coaches or teachers than my parents because, again, I'm spending eight hours a day in school.

00:05:59.460 So when you have one homeroom teacher, and they teach most of your classes in third grade,

00:06:04.660 you're spending eight hours a day communicating with that homeroom teacher.

00:06:07.900 A parent just can't keep up.

00:06:09.640 And we now have outcomes where kids are getting brainwashed in schools, and now-

00:06:13.880 They don't even know-

00:06:14.680 There's always like they are.

00:06:15.640 But parenting isn't just smothering your child 24-7.

00:06:18.900 They are meant to be practising independence.

00:06:21.960 They're meant to be meeting people.

00:06:23.520 They're meant to be interacting.

00:06:24.760 They're meant to be in social situations.

00:06:26.000 But then the mother would teach that. 0.98

00:06:26.660 They have to grow up at some point.

00:06:28.180 Just because you homeschool your child doesn't mean they miss out on any of those aspects.

00:06:31.620 You, as a mother, have a duty to ensure those are in place.

00:06:34.940 It's not just in school that they get them.

00:06:36.760 Yeah, but I'm just going off the point that Pearl made.

00:06:38.800 Like, you know, that just because, you know, I'm not spending 24-7 with them every second,

00:06:45.260 and I'm sending them to school.

00:06:46.820 Exactly.

00:06:47.440 That's, you know-

00:06:48.340 Sometimes it's best for the child as well.

00:06:50.660 Do you know what I mean?

00:06:51.100 Sometimes, who knows, like, the child might be fed up of you.

00:06:54.220 The child wants to be in space as well.

00:06:55.140 No, but I'm not saying homeschooling is based upon you living with your child 24-7.

00:06:59.180 Yeah, but you are saying that if someone sends their child to school-

00:07:02.460 You said that her working twice a day-

00:07:04.520 They're not raising their children.

00:07:06.020 I think she's just saying what she wants to do personally.

00:07:07.720 She is raising her child.

00:07:09.520 No, no, no.

00:07:10.300 But why are you the judge?

00:07:12.180 What makes you a judge?

00:07:12.620 This is my opinion.

00:07:13.680 That's my opinion.

00:07:14.560 Like, she's got hers.

00:07:15.300 You've got yours.

00:07:15.860 I'm just saying for eight hours a day, your child is in the care of somebody else.

00:07:19.640 And for most people, they're going to breakfast club and aftercare.

00:07:23.660 So that's 10 hours a day.

00:07:25.080 It's only 24.

00:07:25.960 I get what you're saying there.

00:07:26.540 I get what you're saying there.

00:07:26.560 And they've got to sleep.

00:07:27.440 You get four hours in a week there with your child.

00:07:29.720 That is absurd.

00:07:31.020 That's insane.

00:07:31.860 And they've got to have a wash. 0.68

00:07:32.740 I understand, but your child also needs to learn other fundamental skills.

00:07:38.540 They don't need to do it.

00:07:39.200 It doesn't take 10 hours a day.

00:07:40.640 It doesn't take 10 hours a day.

00:07:41.640 Does it ask you a question?

00:07:42.900 I don't know about 10 hours.

00:07:45.200 Guys, guys, guys, guys.

00:07:45.980 Wait, wait, wait.

00:07:47.140 Okay.

00:07:48.400 You can go.

00:07:49.300 Go ahead.

00:07:49.960 So you see you're homeschooling your child.

00:07:52.780 Would you say now you're fully raising your child because you're homeschooling your child?

00:07:55.880 Is that what you see?

00:07:57.120 Is that your point?

00:07:57.920 Because I'm sending my child to school and I'm not raising her.

00:08:00.380 That's what you said.

00:08:01.340 So what is it from homeschooling perspective?

00:08:03.640 How would you view it?

00:08:04.940 I believe I've got more of an input of what I can put into my child and more of a say.

00:08:11.240 Whereas for 10 hours, 8 hours a day at school, I don't have a say.

00:08:14.420 Can I ask you another question?

00:08:15.420 Is that one of the main reasons you chose to homeschool your child?

00:08:18.820 I chose to homeschool because I went to school and then I was always like two, three years ahead.

00:08:23.660 So in year one, I was in year three.

00:08:25.320 In year three, I was in year five.

00:08:27.300 And I'd finish my work in 20 minutes.

00:08:29.040 So why do I need eight hours a day if I can complete my work in 20 minutes?

00:08:33.580 I'm not saying my child's me because she isn't, but I'm intelligent enough to educate my own child.

00:08:38.060 I have a question.

00:08:39.260 So who has more influence over your kids? 0.93

00:08:41.140 Someone spending eight to 10 hours a day with your kid or someone spending four?

00:08:46.120 The teacher?

00:08:47.520 Be honest.

00:08:48.400 And why do you think we have these kids that are coming home literally thinking they're women? 1.00

00:08:52.480 Like little boys literally coming home thinking they're women.

00:08:55.580 And women, young women literally coming home and thinking they're men.

00:09:00.120 Yeah.

00:09:00.260 And then when they get older, they're even saying, I want to go back to this.

00:09:03.060 And Janina Jones is a child.

00:09:04.980 We went to private school, like Catholic school.

00:09:07.380 And even us, they showed my sister CNN kids.

00:09:11.120 Why are they showing a liberal news network to my fifth grade child?

00:09:15.720 And that's our point.

00:09:16.760 You can avoid a lot of those problems by homeschooling.

00:09:19.000 I mean, the...

00:09:19.980 For all.

00:09:21.140 Homeschooling is on the rise.

00:09:22.380 There's a reason for that.

00:09:23.520 But you're going to be in the world regardless.

00:09:24.980 But it's on the internet anyway.

00:09:25.620 Yeah, it's on the internet.

00:09:26.360 You're going to be in the world regardless.

00:09:28.360 Yeah, but you need to make them aware of certain things that you believe in your family culture

00:09:33.040 or tradition or whatever.

00:09:34.380 Otherwise, they're going to be led astray.

00:09:36.120 Yeah, but then that is down to you as a parent to make sure that you raise your child with those values.

00:09:41.900 How can you do that when they're at school?

00:09:43.740 That doesn't happen.

00:09:44.520 You've only got four hours with them.

00:09:45.800 How can you do that?

00:09:46.320 My parents did it with me and I think I turned out all right.

00:09:49.280 I'm not going to...

00:09:49.800 Yeah, I feel like the four hours, that's only...

00:09:52.300 Okay, there's term time.

00:09:53.280 You've turned out to be a modern woman. 0.97

00:09:55.380 So if you're happy with that, which is...

00:09:57.500 I'm modern.

00:09:58.040 I respect it.

00:09:58.540 I'm modern.

00:09:59.260 And you're also traditional.

00:10:00.720 But so are modern women. 1.00

00:10:01.760 They think they're still traditional.

00:10:03.600 But if you're not all of it, you're not any of it, you either are or you aren't.

00:10:06.920 She's right.

00:10:07.960 But why?

00:10:08.620 She's right.

00:10:09.260 You can't be in between.

00:10:10.500 You can't have the best of both worlds.

00:10:12.420 But why?

00:10:13.200 What?

00:10:13.620 How can...

00:10:14.180 Because it doesn't function right.

00:10:15.540 It doesn't work.

00:10:16.280 Okay.

00:10:16.700 Because then you're in the house now with your man trying to make... 0.82

00:10:20.260 Like you're equal with arguments and debates.

00:10:22.660 No, I don't think we're equal.

00:10:23.400 You said that earlier.

00:10:24.100 If I can't have a say.

00:10:25.560 If I can't have a say at certain things, you're not going to be happy.

00:10:28.260 But this is the problem.

00:10:29.220 You either are or you aren't.

00:10:30.520 So go and chase your career or be a stay-at-home mom or whatever. 1.00

00:10:34.000 So when there's a child's...

00:10:34.920 No in between.

00:10:35.680 I can have my career and my husband can be supportive of that.

00:10:38.880 And I can still be a good mom.

00:10:40.580 And I can still be a good wife.

00:10:41.600 But this is what they mean.

00:10:42.720 Like modern women live in delusion. 1.00

00:10:43.900 That's delusion.

00:10:44.680 You can't have everything.

00:10:45.340 No, society just gaslights us.

00:10:47.140 No, everything comes at a cost.

00:10:50.180 No, it doesn't.

00:10:51.120 My husband knows what I'm going to be like.

00:10:53.440 And he accepts it.

00:10:55.000 You know?

00:10:55.860 And he's happy with it.

00:10:57.200 So when does your child spend time like away from you?

00:11:00.080 All the time.

00:11:01.100 Look where I'm out now.

00:11:02.120 She's like all the time.

00:11:02.980 Okay, so when you said, oh, she's working, like, her choosing to work on her business,

00:11:09.000 yeah, and those are times she's not with her child.

00:11:10.960 Yeah.

00:11:11.560 Two days a week when she still sees her in the morning.

00:11:13.880 She still sees her at night.

00:11:14.900 She still sees her.

00:11:15.620 How is that, like, what's the problem with that?

00:11:18.100 I don't like it.

00:11:18.840 I said I take accountability for the fact that I'm on my own with my child.

00:11:22.780 Your child's away from you all the time.

00:11:24.220 I don't mean 24-7.

00:11:25.840 So where do you get time to raise your child if you're always...

00:11:27.720 When I'm not working, but I'm accountable.

00:11:30.520 I don't want to be here.

00:11:32.080 I want to be at home with my child, but because I don't have a partner at home, I'm here because

00:11:36.260 I'm doing whatever I'm doing with my work or whatever, and I'm here.

00:11:39.100 But if I had a choice, which is what I said, I would love the idea of spending seven days

00:11:44.600 a week, every day of the week with my daughter, because I don't ever get bored of my child.

00:11:49.160 And she never drives me insane.

00:11:50.700 But see, this is...

00:11:51.060 Oh, what about if she gets bored of you?

00:11:52.440 What about her?

00:11:53.080 And you wouldn't have any hobbies, any projects, anything?

00:11:57.720 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, okay, stop.

00:12:00.840 But that's what I'm saying.

00:12:01.540 She has a real traditional mindset, because she's actually talking about putting the kid

00:12:07.940 before the family and not her.

JustPearlyThings - August 10, 2023

Modern Women Get A RUDE Awakening

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