Modern Women Get DISGRUNTLED with Men when They Do This
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
200.13489
Summary
In this episode, we talk about how important it is to communicate with your partner when they are having a bad day. We also talk about the importance of crying to your partner and how it can make or break a relationship.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
I feel like most of this leads back to communication.
00:00:04.800
If you want to vent to the guy that you're with, just ask him.
00:00:09.540
Say if I want to vent to my friends, I'll be like,
00:00:12.480
Are you in the right mind frame to hear from me?
00:00:15.360
There's nothing wrong with asking for communication.
00:00:17.780
And if it's not today, then it might be tomorrow
00:00:20.820
Yeah, it's kind of going back to reading the room
00:00:23.700
You can come to him and know that your partner is like,
00:01:05.360
I know it's, I know it's like every girl that, it's again, it's not you.
00:01:13.800
I've had girl after girl come on my podcast and everyone that says their boyfriend cried
00:01:19.280
to them, I have a second question, who broke up with who, it's always them.
00:01:23.020
He didn't cry in a way of like, he was actually being emotional.
00:01:25.140
I was telling him, listen, I don't know what you're doing right now.
00:01:28.060
Basically, a situation happens and I presented him with facts.
00:01:30.420
And I was like, this is what's going on, that's your business.
00:01:32.540
And he, the only way he knew how to communicate was to break down.
00:01:35.680
At this point, the only thing I can do is, you know.
00:01:41.380
This was before I broke up with him due to the fact that I just feel like where you're
00:01:44.420
trying to go and where I'm going are two different angles now.
00:01:46.300
Before I was on the same train, you jumped off and hanged out the window like, what are you doing?
00:01:50.600
But he cried based on him trying to be emotional and kind of be like, I effed up kind of thing.
00:02:01.360
Like, we were, I would say that he cried within the first year or two of us being together
00:02:05.020
and we spent another four years, if not five, together.
00:02:16.540
But I think a lot of times, like women, we don't know what we want.
00:02:19.100
Because it's like, it's kind of like, how many times can a guy cry till you break?
00:02:30.200
But if you, but if you, wait, come on, that's Cap.
00:02:40.360
And so, you know, at some level, like, you're going to leave at some point.
00:02:43.860
No, for me, I feel like if a guy cries, it shows me that you have a level or consciousness of emotion.
00:02:49.140
I mean, I can't be with someone that's heartless, just cold, ruthless, like, you're just being like, I don't cry.
00:02:56.440
How would you guys feel, how would you guys feel if your boss started crying?
00:03:00.400
Has that ever happened to you, female boss, male boss?
00:03:13.660
And you been spending too much people damn business in this place.
00:03:19.320
And I looked at you and threw you a very small napkin because I wanted to see you fold it up and let you be.
00:03:32.020
Like, I've just heard like girls in high stress.
00:03:38.980
I feel like we get emotionally like, what's the word, overwhelmed.
00:03:43.360
I feel like men cry from a part of their body which they're not used to hitting.
00:03:48.000
That emotion comes from a part of their body they've never hit before.
00:04:00.680
Before your body creates those tears, you're bugging out internally trying to understand
00:04:05.580
And then your body's putting it into perspective.
00:04:07.220
No, but if someone died and he's crying, then that's expressing an emotion.
00:04:11.060
But like, if he's crying because you won't let him hit it, then he's a pussy.
00:04:20.920
Like, I mean, I think women, I think at some point.
00:04:29.600
No, but Pearl, for the first time, you've been honest, for the first time, we've got a
00:04:36.520
It's like, what tends to happen is women will say you can cry.
00:04:41.600
No, realistically, though, it depends on the topic.
00:04:44.100
Like, it's like, if he's going through a lot and he's going through that emotion and if
00:04:51.820
he's crying, I think vulnerability can be attractive in a way, realistically.
00:04:56.260
But then if he doesn't fix his problems, then he's still crying over it, then he hasn't
00:05:01.360
So if he's crying, like, he's like, oh, the first time he's going through it, then he's
00:05:05.980
February's crying, Wednesday's, you know what I mean?
00:05:08.920
I was just going to say, yeah, like, obviously if they're crying a lot over, like, something
00:05:19.320
small, like, Tracy was being horrible to me at work, fair enough, you know, it's like
00:05:23.040
ridiculous, like, all right, I'm done with this.
00:05:24.960
But in reality, if it's a traumatic experience someone's going through or, like, something's
00:05:29.400
happening and it's a constant and sometimes their reaction is to cry, I don't think that
00:05:35.480
is a sign of weakness and it's sometimes vulnerability of strength.
00:05:40.520
So let's say he has whatever the situation is, how long can he cry about it?
00:05:46.220
So he cries Monday, can he cry Tuesday, can he cry Wednesday, Thursday?
00:05:50.320
Honestly, yeah, if it's something like, it's like, if you're just crying about it and if
00:05:54.560
you can do something to change it, it's like, yeah, no, pick yourself up.
00:06:03.220
Well, this is the thing, though, I think if it was anybody, if they were relying on me
00:06:07.220
and they were constantly crying to me for something that they're going through internally,
00:06:13.720
However, if you are constantly crying and it's like they, yeah, it's just, it's like, we can
00:06:25.980
It's just, if it's only crying, nothing's happening, then it can be difficult on the
00:06:31.220
other person who's having to help them and support them.
00:06:45.700
A loss in your family, loved one, friends, cool.
00:06:52.340
A movie that hit you deep and your eyes water, okay.
00:07:03.400
Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, this is real life.
00:07:14.740
You must, you must don't ever, ever, ever all due respect, all due respect your lovely
00:08:04.100
So I'm going to just, as a man, let me just add on to what another man said.
00:08:07.760
So yeah, guys, like, this is to the men out there.
00:08:12.240
Because women, they find it very hard to explain to you what it's okay to cry about.
00:08:24.100
And she basically said, you can cry for about three or four days, but by the fifth day, if
00:08:32.380
So the best thing to do is like what Alex says, it's just to be a rock.
00:08:37.520
I ain't going to cry in no movies because, because, no, no.
00:08:42.480
Family, I pray that we don't have to go through that stuff.
00:08:45.360
But at that point, you know, men can show emotion.
00:08:53.340
I personally think as a man, if you go to a woman and you're crying, me, I'll lose respect
00:09:00.980
Like, if it's a loss or something really bad, like of someone dying, then yeah.
00:09:06.220
But as a man, I feel like it takes you off of your purpose when you spend too much time
00:09:10.860
crying about things that you're just wasting time and energy.
00:09:16.300
And if my man's crying often, I'm going to lose respect for him.
00:09:25.540
But that goes towards both genders, realistically.
00:09:28.340
Don't sit and cry about everything all the time.
00:09:37.720
Where do you outlet other than the gym and the performance?
00:09:49.080
And men don't really care if their girl's crying over stupid shit.
00:09:58.040
I don't think, can men tell me where the outlet is?
00:10:02.340
As somebody, I personally, I'm a little bit hesitant with men when it comes to outlet.
00:10:15.860
That's you and your woman minds, which I appreciate.
00:10:20.720
Where is a man going to outlet other than the gym?
00:10:29.240
And then if I don't feel like I can speak to Alex, I'm going to speak to Bless.
00:10:32.440
And then Blessing don't feel like he can speak to me.
00:10:35.840
The idea of this is we're not supposed to speak to every single man or cry to every single man.
00:10:40.240
But if Alex comes and cries to me, I know this is a very serious situation because he's never cried and men don't cry at that.
00:10:51.600
I will look at it as my boy's got to a level where he's crying to me.
00:10:59.000
So crying to women, I will not lose respect for him.
00:11:02.940
In actual fact, I'm going to gain so much more respect for him because I know he's showing me emotion he's never saw.
00:11:07.560
What we've gotten from you guys is that he can cry, but he has to know when to cry and he can't cry too much.
00:11:18.940
I just got to be able to cry to you and you can't tell me what I can cry about and how long I can cry about.
00:11:23.280
If you tell me I can be emotional to you, you don't get to tell me what I can be emotional about.
00:11:32.020
Sorry, just talking about earlier, we were talking about leadership and 50-50 and bosses and this, that and the other.
00:11:38.220
If you're, if you're a man and you cry over, you know, not a loss or what I said before to your partner,
00:11:49.000
you've demonstrated the, the inability to be stable.
00:11:56.200
You've demonstrated that you can't be a leader.
00:11:58.500
You can't be followed because if I'm, if, if, if you're being, if you're being followed and then it gets peak and then you're depressed or whatever the situation is and you're crying.
00:12:14.160
We don't, we don't see, we don't see presidents crying.
00:12:22.020
It doesn't mean he doesn't, because you don't, because you don't see it doesn't mean they're not crying.
00:12:26.740
They don't do it in front of the people they're leading.
00:12:29.620
Wait, wait, wait, men are supposed to lead women.
00:12:33.080
So you don't, you don't see the CEO going to a company meeting and start crying.
00:12:36.760
It's the same thing with like, if you're, if you know, I know some people do the 50-50 thing,
00:12:41.140
but if you, if you want to be in a more traditional relationship where you follow the man you're with,
00:12:45.120
then he shouldn't go to the people, the person he's leading and cry.
00:12:52.300
But I feel like she was saying like, you're allowed to be vulnerable until it's time.
00:12:59.140
Like I feel like in a relationship depending on yours and guys's, you know, boundaries,
00:13:02.920
obviously like if you follow more traditional methods and et cetera, et cetera,
00:13:08.060
If your partner says that's okay with you, you can be vulnerable for that time being.
00:13:14.120
Yeah, but the whole point is, wait, the whole point is that each girl is different.
00:13:23.080
You know, me, I said every two years, she said, you know, you could do it three days,
00:13:32.140
And so it's like for one girl, you know, she might be okay with it this long.
00:13:35.760
For another girl, she might be okay with it this long.
00:13:46.980
And it's very emotionally intelligent and it's beautiful.
00:13:51.800
The girls don't even know that they've lost something for you.
00:14:00.920
Whatever that thing is that made them feel comfortable in your leadership or your presence
00:14:18.620
He tied his sew lace with a bunny ear, bunny ear over like a baby does it.
00:14:23.060
And I'm just like, ick, he's never coming near me.
00:14:30.500
Like, why wouldn't he just say, you know what, in general, I'm going to try not to cry in front of her.
00:14:35.460
But in general, unless it's super serious, I'm just, I'm not going to.
00:14:40.320
Like, I don't walk into a room expecting to be upset and cry.
00:14:45.240
It's just like, you know, if someone pees themselves, you don't make a big deal.
00:14:54.620
You can literally discuss this before you go through it.
00:14:56.820
But the problem is women don't know what they want.
00:15:00.180
But a woman that does, and a woman that's got her, you know, priority straight, can communicate that with a man.
00:15:05.780
And obviously, if that's not the case, then that's not the case.
00:15:07.860
Guys, I have just a quick question for the men.
00:15:09.760
Do you think women know what they want in general?
00:15:18.980
So I'm just, the only reason, because the next question is, what type of women do you date?
00:15:24.140
Do you think, in general, women know what they want?
00:15:30.720
I'm not saying as a whole, though, like, as in what every woman wants.
00:15:35.520
But in terms of certain scenarios and situations, like, I feel like I could let a man confide in me and, like, let me know when there's something up.
00:15:43.560
Maybe I'm not saying, like, all the time or, like, every single day.
00:15:46.300
But, like, at least, you know, you can tell me if there's something up, whether you cry or not.
00:15:54.200
But, again, it's, like, for them, it's a roll of the dice.
00:15:56.840
And they don't know which girl is going to be turned off by it.
00:15:59.800
And, like, sometimes a girl will say, I won't be, but she'll still leave.
00:16:07.040
So, Pearl, I just sat here and I literally didn't hear one person explain to me what it was okay to cry.
00:16:18.800
I just want to hear you say to me, you know what?
00:16:23.860
Like, Alex will say to me, come to me, Chai, and I won't look at you different.
00:16:29.100
It's about respect, communication, consent, and boundaries.
00:16:32.880
And those are the four things that you need to come into any relationship with.
00:16:36.180
It's man, man, woman, woman, they, them, he, ex, whatever it is.
00:16:40.500
And if you feel like you're in a place where you have to cry.
00:16:43.160
So, why is it okay if he's at that place where he's about to break down?
00:16:49.420
Like, there are lots of other people on this planet that he could, should feel comfortable.
00:16:59.100
Let's not, let's say, biologically, we are intrinsically reactionary and just get the ick when men cry, right?
00:17:13.100
I think it's just, if you cry to me, you've cried and there's no particular ick.
00:17:19.680
But, like, if you've cried because there's a general reason that you're upset, cool, let's talk about it.
00:17:26.460
I just, I've been through some really hard times in my life, yeah.
00:17:28.980
And the one thing that I would never do is let my mum see me cry, let my mum see me, for my mum to see her son cry, do you know what that would do to this Africa?
00:17:38.300
She would actually contemplate her whole existence about what's going on.
00:17:40.940
So, a lot of times, us men, we have to keep things together just for you guys, because by you seeing your man cry, then it can completely destroy everything.
00:17:49.600
And that's just something that I just take personally.
00:17:51.340
Well, I personally go through life not expecting that.
00:17:54.980
So, again, like, just say, I'm so laid back, like, what are we doing?
00:18:01.220
Okay, I'm going to take a second to read Super Chats, and then we're going to do final thoughts, and you guys can plug any social media, and we're going to close out the show.
00:18:10.080
Okay, guys, we have, what, 3,200 people watching, so make sure you like the video, subscribe to the channel.
00:18:17.080
Okay, our pain, it's none of your effing business where we cry, men do not cry over issues to women, PX, Shaman, my dad died, I couldn't call it off, my best dog, I couldn't call off my best dog on Christmas, life is real, none of you women are over a 5, silly sausage.
00:18:38.100
We just wanted not to not have to read your mind, if you want to vent, that's fine, if you want a solution, perfectly fine, just let us know, witch, before you rant about how Sarah's boyfriend's cousin's niece is a slag.
00:18:50.360
C. Matherson, Pearl, please buy a neon sign that says men don't care about your strong and your strong-empowered women with jobs.
00:18:58.420
Daniel, they appreciate logical and direct decision-making of a man, but crucified China for being logical and direct.
00:19:06.960
C. Matherson, these women are about to get replaced by Brazilian and Filipino women.
00:19:14.340
That's already started, go follow, oh my god, I can't remember the account name, but there's a guy that went to Brazil and he has really good content.
00:19:24.220
Keith, the chef, we have been fed a lie, it's to break up the nuclear family, the people who tax us get to,
00:19:32.280
tax us get to keep the alphas who usually challenge arbitrary authority, confused and busy with chaos, wake up.
00:19:39.660
Doug MPA, if men win, everyone wins, if women win, women win.
00:19:42.880
Keith, the chief, it's our job as men to train them, weak men can't.
00:19:47.280
Keith, the show, Pearl is doing everyone a favor, do a U.S. live show, we didn't know this is the female archetype.
00:19:53.160
You saved my relationship because I now understand how she sees the world, thank you.
00:19:58.300
C. Matherson, men can get an essay claim, or an essay claim just for looking at a woman, oh, essay, I get it.
00:20:05.600
A quick bae, on the point of jobs, we as men just cannot get up and get better jobs whenever we want.
00:20:12.120
Your body count is a choice that you can control.
00:20:15.040
Tell 9265, dang, autocorrect, I meant red dress.
00:20:18.800
The UK economist, would the guests want their, oh, I read this already, let me refresh it, just make sure there's no more super chats,
00:20:26.760
Like the video, guys, subscribe to the channel.
00:20:28.800
Okay, Woke is Panther, why do women see men that don't emote like women as being cold and emotionless?
00:20:35.900
C. Matherson, why is it that women treat their men like subhuman unless they want them crying,
00:20:43.800
Okay, final thoughts, any social media you want to plug?
00:20:50.700
My social media is, let me bring it closer, my social media is Pink Kush, that's my Instagram.
00:20:55.840
You can write it, spell it as P-I-N-K-K-U-S-H-E-M-Z, so Kushim's on the end.
00:21:02.760
I do a bit of everything, I'm a social, creative person, so yeah, hit me up.
00:21:08.960
And my final thoughts is that's just like general, yeah, I feel like today was a very good day overall,
00:21:14.960
and I met a lot of different dynamics of peoples, and I'm grateful to be a part of such a, you know, growing community.
00:21:20.740
My social media is bexylucyx, and my website is bexylucy.com.
00:21:30.200
I've got e-books, and I also do coaching on femininity and mindset.
00:21:36.400
And today, it was good to hear different opinions from different women.
00:21:42.420
I like to listen to gain more knowledge, but me personally, I've agreed mostly with what Chyna and Pearl have said,
00:21:51.600
and my goals at the moment are to find a husband, get married, and it's not focused on my career, it's on making a family.
00:22:01.340
So yeah, when that time comes, that's what I'm ready for.
00:22:05.300
Hi, so my Instagram is shortydevi, which is S-H-O-R-T-Y-D-E-V-I underscore.
00:22:17.000
I'm a coach, a life coach, a conscious parenting coach.
00:22:20.640
I help people live their best lives, basically.
00:22:28.440
There have definitely been some views that I haven't agreed on,
00:22:30.720
but it's always really interesting to have a healthy debate about everything, and yeah, thanks.
00:22:38.320
Hey, so my final thoughts, terrifyingly, is that feminism might actually be dead.
00:22:44.080
I have a lot to think about retrospectively after hearing a lot of opinions that I thought were maybe slightly outdated.
00:22:52.760
I feel a little bit sad that women took such a bash this evening for wanting to be leaders,
00:22:58.740
to do innovative things, and to say and do what they need to say and do without being criticized for it.
00:23:04.820
So I think that women make strong leaders, men make strong leaders.
00:23:10.640
And my name is Cleo, and I'm not really on the socials, so I won't say it,
00:23:16.220
because I left it specifically so that I could have some peace,
00:23:34.640
No socials at the moment for a piece of reasons,
00:23:40.500
so I just want to reflect back on what everyone said
00:23:42.860
and kind of moving forward to see how I feel about certain things.
00:23:51.880
Just thank you to everybody that's come to the show today.
00:23:55.340
I really enjoyed having, hearing all the different opinions and things as well.
00:24:01.780
Yeah, make sure you follow me on socials at my name is Chyna,
00:24:06.420
I want to give a shout out to, obviously, the live of the chat guys.
00:24:12.020
Like, I really appreciate it because my YouTube has been getting more
00:24:16.540
and that's happening because of all of you guys.
00:24:18.780
And obviously, always thank Pearl for having me on as a returning guest.
00:24:29.080
I haven't got any socials that I'd necessarily want to share.
00:24:32.180
But yeah, I really appreciate listening to, like, Diverse Thought, really.
00:24:43.260
Thank you, all the people in the back that you can't see.
00:24:48.940
Social media, Instagram, sweet, sweet, underscore, juice.
00:25:04.080
On all platforms, realistically, J-A-Z-M-I-N-E-B-R-U-C-E.
00:25:08.880
Final thoughts, realistically, I'm glad to hear in one of the comments
00:25:14.940
that this has helped hear different views and stuff
00:25:28.880
I want to reiterate one of the super chats that said,
00:26:08.360
And it's Jessica, K-U-K-A, with another A on the end.
00:26:14.360
I think it's helpful to talk about these things
00:26:16.100
because, you know, everyone's got different opinions.
00:26:20.720
We had one or two more super chats and final thoughts.
00:26:25.100
So Q-Dub, a woman's job is to put you in a compromising position
00:26:57.060
so I think we should have at least 3,000 likes.
00:27:08.220
The first, you get to be a part of our live chat.
00:27:12.220
Second, you get to be a part of our Discord and our vlogs.
00:27:28.300
And third, you get to connect with me on social media.
00:27:32.500
And fourth, you get a one-on-one call with me once a month.
00:27:35.040
These are great because you can get help with YouTube.
00:27:39.520
and I can help you avoid a lot of problems that I had when I started a live show.
00:27:43.560
So if you want the blueprint of how to start a live show, I know it.
00:27:50.380
They banned my first one, so Just Pearly Things.
00:27:54.600
Go follow my fifth and sixth TikToks because they banned my first four,
00:28:05.200
or maybe someone put it in the chat, but I have a new channel,
00:28:08.940
and I'm going to start doing reactions where I have show guests come over,
00:28:13.620
It's just going to be like, it's called Pearl Behind the Scenes,
00:28:16.260
and it's just basically going to be us reacting to different content,
00:28:22.840
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok,
00:28:27.360
and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:28:31.720
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:28:36.180
Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.