JustPearlyThings - May 05, 2023


Modern Women Get Schooled On Accountability


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

213.73122

Word count

1,707

Sentence count

189

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how to heal from a broken heart and how to be a better version of yourself. We talk about our brokenness and how it has shaped us into the person we are today.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I have a question. Why do you want to be married? Because if you're a selfish person, it seems like marriage just wouldn't be for you.
00:00:07.920 Sometimes it feels like you just have to.
00:00:11.140 And I apologize. Sorry. I apologize for freezing in the beginning. It's my first podcast. I got a little bit nervous looking at Pearl.
00:00:17.440 And I was stuttering. I had a speech I prepared. I apologize. That's not what you're going to get.
00:00:21.840 You're okay.
00:00:22.580 Yeah, you're not going to get that from me.
00:00:23.820 Yeah, so why do you want to be married?
00:00:26.200 It sounds like crazy, but just the whole thought of the glamour side of it.
00:00:30.160 Again, I'm being selfish. The whole look of the wedding, being in that white dress.
00:00:35.220 But then I'm just thinking about myself again. And it's poison. And I admit that.
00:00:39.600 No, that's what they say. Women want the wedding. They don't want the marriage. 1.00
00:00:43.780 Yeah, because being trapped down, that terrifies me.
00:00:47.220 But why do you look at it as trapped?
00:00:49.240 Because maybe it's because I'm damaged. Or I've always been a free spirit ever since I was a child.
00:00:54.560 I always do what I want.
00:00:56.540 So if you're aware of that, why don't you try to heal that?
00:00:59.820 Yeah, but maybe I will get into that process.
00:01:01.980 But still now, I am that free spirit.
00:01:04.140 And so if something happens to me, and I'll be like, okay, maybe I do need to change that.
00:01:08.680 All right. And I empathize with you because I've been broken.
00:01:11.740 And I've been heartbroken. I've been there before.
00:01:13.620 So what I said, I genuinely mean this. I'm not judging you.
00:01:15.880 But what I'm saying is if you're aware enough to realize that, okay, I'm broken.
00:01:19.960 I've gone through things in my childhood, and it's made me the person I am now.
00:01:24.060 Okay. But once you're aware of that, you have the obligation and responsibility to be better than that.
00:01:30.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
00:01:31.480 Because I've let a heartbreak, my first ever heartbreak, I've let that destroy me,
00:01:35.440 turn me into an evil person that hated women.
00:01:37.760 I've done that.
00:01:38.780 And I learned from that.
00:01:40.220 And you know what I told myself?
00:01:41.300 Never again.
00:01:42.280 Mm-hmm.
00:01:42.800 Mm-hmm.
00:01:43.420 I'm going to be better.
00:01:44.480 And that's what's happened to me.
00:01:44.960 I've been broken in multiple relationships.
00:01:47.120 So be better. Be better now. Not later. Now.
00:01:51.700 Javon, you're shouting too much. Listen, bro. How could she be better, bro?
00:01:55.500 How?
00:01:56.020 Tell the teacher.
00:01:57.160 All right. I'm not a teacher, but I will give you some advice from my personal experiences of healing.
00:02:02.520 You know, like I said, it starts with awareness, for one.
00:02:06.700 Which I think I know.
00:02:08.320 You know, because you—
00:02:09.100 I am broken. I know that.
00:02:10.860 100%. And that's fine. There's a lot of broken people. I've been broken before. I'm not judging.
00:02:14.920 What I'm saying is that when you realize that you are broken, you have a responsibility to yourself, your well-being, mentally, spiritually, physically, to fix that.
00:02:25.620 And you have to hold yourself accountable because you can't point the finger at the guys that broke you.
00:02:29.780 Yeah. It's me that's responsible at the end of the day.
00:02:32.540 They're pieces of shit for doing what they did. 100%. I'm not saying, like, don't hold them accountable.
00:02:36.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:37.000 But you have to hold yourself accountable over them.
00:02:39.420 Because every girl that broke my heart, guess what? 0.78
00:02:42.980 But I don't give a—I don't give a crap about that.
00:02:45.520 Because you want to know what? I entertain that.
00:02:47.540 But you gain from that experience and think, okay, I can be positive about this and actually realize it's a good thing in a way you turn it around.
00:02:57.180 Oh, 100%.
00:02:57.880 Like I said in my field message in the beginning, because I didn't think I'd be nervous, but I was looking at pro, I was nervous.
00:03:05.300 All knowledge is given through pain and understanding.
00:03:07.400 Listen, you have to understand what that pain was there to teach you.
00:03:11.140 When you put your hand on a—when you're a kid and you don't know no better, and you're just playing around, and you put your hand on a stove, and your mom tells you—
00:03:18.360 And you get done.
00:03:19.060 Now you know.
00:03:20.440 Now you know what to do.
00:03:21.520 The lessons learned.
00:03:22.540 Mm-hmm.
00:03:23.200 But you can't learn the lesson and continue to make the same mistakes.
00:03:26.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:26.800 The same decisions.
00:03:27.560 And you know the results.
00:03:28.160 And then get on Instagram, social media, talk to all your friends, and play victim and say, I don't know no better.
00:03:33.560 You know better.
00:03:34.840 You've been hurt before.
00:03:36.180 Mm-hmm.
00:03:36.720 So why do you continue to put yourself in the same situations, talk to the same people, put yourself in the same environments?
00:03:42.400 Mm-hmm.
00:03:42.660 That's going to lead you to the pain that you're saying that I don't like.
00:03:47.000 So when I talk about healing, and I'm generally trying to help you because I understand the reality of women, and I understand the reality of men.
00:03:54.320 There's a lot of broken people out there.
00:03:55.840 Mm-hmm.
00:03:56.200 And if there's anything that I want to get forward to this podcast and a message, is that you can heal yourself.
00:04:03.520 I'm talking about literally.
00:04:04.600 100%.
00:04:05.120 You can heal yourself.
00:04:06.520 Everybody talks about trauma.
00:04:08.080 Everybody talks about depression.
00:04:09.660 Every single person.
00:04:10.360 Everybody.
00:04:11.140 PTSD.
00:04:11.880 Everything.
00:04:12.400 Struggling.
00:04:13.000 Every single person.
00:04:13.260 I'm telling you right now, if you dedicate a year, fuck social media.
00:04:18.720 Fuck your friends.
00:04:20.600 Respectfully.
00:04:21.140 How do you heal 100 bodies?
00:04:23.060 Hold on.
00:04:23.880 I'm going to get to it.
00:04:24.540 I need you to reel it in a little bit.
00:04:26.700 Yeah, I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:27.860 I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:28.420 You're going for a while, so.
00:04:29.880 I'm going to reel it in.
00:04:30.800 Uh-huh.
00:04:31.020 So, the real thing we're going to do would be just to be honest.
00:04:37.620 Which I've done on this podcast.
00:04:39.460 I've opened up and said.
00:04:40.360 So, if you're a woman that's been with 100 men.
00:04:42.280 Yeah.
00:04:42.620 If you're a woman that's been with 100 men, the next thing to say to the man that you're
00:04:45.480 interested in is, look, I've made these mistakes.
00:04:49.120 Look, accountability, I think, is the number one trait that men look forward to in women.
00:04:53.440 Because, yeah, we can judge you off your past.
00:04:56.220 That's a natural trait for men.
00:04:57.880 But if you don't have any accountability, we're not going to feel sorry for you.
00:05:00.960 We're not going to be interested.
00:05:02.220 But I'm telling you right now, if I met a woman that was like, yo, I have like 7,500 bodies. 0.99
00:05:06.080 But you know what?
00:05:06.980 Those men didn't deserve me.
00:05:09.180 And that was at a point where I didn't realize my value was a woman.
00:05:11.900 I didn't realize I was giving away the most pure gift that I have as a woman.
00:05:16.780 And now I realize that gift.
00:05:18.480 And that's how I'm going to move forward.
00:05:20.200 I respect that.
00:05:21.920 No, I respect that.
00:05:23.040 Bruv, bruv, listen, bruv, Giovanni.
00:05:24.980 Would you go for a girl that has over 100 bodies as your wife? 1.00
00:05:28.300 Would you do that?
00:05:31.880 100 bodies?
00:05:33.140 Yeah, over 100 bodies.
00:05:34.460 Would you do that?
00:05:34.880 That's what you're talking about, no?
00:05:38.180 Probably not.
00:05:38.840 But then again, it also depends on the woman. 0.99
00:05:41.560 So wait, wait, wait.
00:05:42.100 You were just saying that.
00:05:43.040 What would you expect your woman to say to you? 0.99
00:05:45.960 Do you want to say sorry or what?
00:05:47.560 No, not sorry.
00:05:48.500 Because her decisions is her life.
00:05:50.200 And she shouldn't apologize for any decision that she makes.
00:05:52.360 It's just like I'm not going to apologize for any decision that I make.
00:05:55.220 But I think that there's a point in your life where you have to be accountable and you have to be honest.
00:05:59.780 And if you've slept with 100 men, you can never take that back.
00:06:03.540 Okay, bruv.
00:06:04.020 I don't see it as a problem, though.
00:06:05.660 Would you accept that?
00:06:06.460 Giovanni, Giovanni, would you accept that?
00:06:08.580 Your wife has slept with over 100 men. 0.70
00:06:12.500 Would you accept that?
00:06:13.360 In general, no.
00:06:15.140 You mean general.
00:06:15.800 What else is there to it, bro?
00:06:16.740 Let's move on.
00:06:17.160 In general, no.
00:06:19.400 Because, like I said, there is such a thing as connection and there is such a thing as power.
00:06:25.220 Why don't you see it as an issue?
00:06:27.560 What, so you've known it with 100 men?
00:06:29.060 Yeah, like, you know, because I'm just saying you live in reality.
00:06:32.520 You know men care about that stuff.
00:06:34.960 Right?
00:06:35.580 Yeah.
00:06:35.920 So, you don't think that could possibly be an issue later?
00:06:40.440 Yeah, it might be, but I never look at anything negative in life.
00:06:44.020 Like, I just feel like, what's the point?
00:06:46.920 Because you're just going to get down about it anyway.
00:06:48.900 Because you can't do anything about it at this point.
00:06:50.580 No, what's the point?
00:06:51.300 I can't take back what I've done.
00:06:54.240 So, what's the point dwelling about it?
00:06:56.360 When I was a girl, when I was like, what, 16, 17, when you lose your virginity, I mean, I wasn't educated on about self-value and what it meant to give, like, your body to someone.
00:07:06.500 So, as a young lady, if you're sleeping with people from, I mean, I lost mine at 17, I didn't have the knowledge that I have now than I did then.
00:07:14.860 So, if you're a young lady having sex, when you're older, you might look back and think, oh, maybe I shouldn't have made them choices because now I'm more aware of the consequences. 0.91
00:07:23.240 So, I think it's a bit difficult to say, oh, I wouldn't do that.
00:07:27.040 I wouldn't marry someone who's set with that many people because they could be a completely different person.
00:07:31.140 10 years ago.
00:07:31.840 Exactly.
00:07:32.480 I'm glad you brought up the point because, Birkin, you're 100% correct.
00:07:35.820 I personally would not.
00:07:37.880 But when I said I think it varies.
00:07:39.480 I think that's sad.
00:07:40.340 It varies.
00:07:41.020 I'm talking about just for the general man.
00:07:43.040 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:07:46.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:07:50.560 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:07:55.460 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.