JustPearlyThings - Modern Women Gives Honest View About Men

00:00:00.000 excited. So things like being ambitious, for example, or a man that is confident in himself,

00:00:06.560 a man that wants more for himself in life. Those are the stuff that sometimes if it's missing,

00:00:12.480 or maybe a man that doesn't take care of himself, like, yeah, you could be emotionally

00:00:16.640 available to me. I love that. And that's the reason I stayed with you. But I need you to

00:00:20.960 also work on yourself. You know, be a better man. And if you don't want that for yourself,

00:00:27.120 it's a bit harder as well. Did you not ask them these questions or know this stuff before you got

00:00:32.560 into a relationship? I'm not going to talk about my relationship. No, no, no, no, no. I just want to

00:00:38.640 like, just a simple yes, and I don't want to like go deep into it. Were you like, did you have those?

00:00:44.720 I think you never really know someone until you're in a relationship. I think it takes a lot of time

00:00:51.520 to know the type of person it is. Because when you get into a relationship, you see the good stuff,

00:00:56.080 because things I've always prioritized is I want a great family. Like, I do not want to be a single

00:01:01.120 mother. And so I will always pick a man. I don't care about how much money you are. I don't care 0.99

00:01:05.520 about protector. I need a man that's going to be a good father to my children. And usually those are

00:01:10.800 men that are good communicators. So, so this is, this is, I'm just going to tell you what,

00:01:15.040 remember what you said. This is contradicting what you said, because if you don't care about money,

00:01:19.440 then you don't care if he's ambitious. And that's, if you don't remember earlier, you were talking

00:01:24.560 about how you didn't care so much about money. You care more about emotionally.

00:01:28.240 No, when I said money, I said I don't care about him paying for me, because I'm ambitious.

00:01:31.440 But I'm saying then, so, so if you're ambitious, if you're ambitious, then what, so, okay, okay,

00:01:37.200 okay. But I know, so that translates into money in the future, right? So, okay, okay, okay. So,

00:01:43.120 but this is why, right, right. Okay. But this is why men don't really trust what women say,

00:01:47.840 because you're saying, oh, I don't care about the money. But when you, when you're presented with a man,

00:01:52.240 he's like, eh, I'm good with the money I have. Eh, I'm not that ambitious. You're like, no,

00:01:56.240 I can't stay for this. No, if it came across that I said, I don't care about a man that likes,

00:02:00.800 has money. I care about a man that's ambitious. Right. You don't have to have money right now,

00:02:05.680 but you need to be hardworking and wanting money. When I say I don't care about money,

00:02:09.840 it means I'm not going to go for a man purely because of money, because I'm also hardworking,

00:02:16.640 I'm ambitious. So I'm not going to put that on you to pay for my lifestyle, because I want to

00:02:21.120 prioritize other characteristics in a man. But to say that, I don't care about money. Yes,

00:02:25.920 I do. I do. Cause I, I love money myself. I got to make money. So my man's got to make money.

00:02:30.400 But I'm just saying, this is why men like, don't believe what women say, 0.98

00:02:33.680 because we constantly contradict ourselves. And it's like the other question, I'm just telling you

00:02:38.320 how the men would hear what you said. If you said, oh, they're great guys. Um, but they were bums, 1.00

00:02:43.280 they would either hear that you, you date losers, or they would hear that you're not loyal because you leave

00:02:48.960 good men. This is just, I'm telling you how they would take it. I think like my biggest problem

00:02:57.280 is like, first of all, I hear all of you. Like, I totally agree with what a lot of you guys are

00:03:03.360 saying. I think my biggest problem is that I do want someone that I can talk about my day with.

00:03:11.760 And what you said is a fact. Men are problem solvers. They don't want to hear you gripe.

00:03:17.840 They just want to fix it. And that's where I'm going through this, like trying to figure out what

00:03:25.600 exactly I'm wanting or needing. But like, I want someone that can listen to that. And I don't know

00:03:31.520 if I'm asking for a fucking unicorn, but I want to be able to, I want to be able to talk about what

00:03:37.120 happened at the nail salon. I do want to have that friendship. I don't need you every single

00:03:42.880 time I talk about something to try to fix it. Right. Of course we want someone who can,

00:03:47.200 who has the potential to fix a light bulb, whatever. Great. But I think that was the big,

00:03:53.120 that's been the biggest factor I've been missing in my relationships is like a friend. And so that's

00:03:59.760 where I don't know how it's supposed to go, how it's going to end, what it's supposed to be. How am I

00:04:05.280 supposed to adjust my expectations? What am I, am I asking for something that's unrealistic?

00:04:09.200 So I have a question. Could you think of a friend that you have right now that you could

00:04:18.400 potentially see yourself with? I'm going to be very honest with you. I do not really

00:04:24.160 buy into the whole male friend thing. That's just a, probably a bit of a jaded belief. I can probably,

00:04:31.600 I can be aware enough to say that. Um, I don't know. I, I honestly was sexually assaulted by my

00:04:38.400 best friend before my 30th birthday, actually. So I have a little bit of a, like, I'm S I don't

00:04:43.920 want to close that part of my heart off, but I just, any doubt I had about it, it felt like it was

00:04:49.680 confirmed a little bit. I'm like, if, if, if you, if I'm drunk and you're given the chance,

00:04:54.000 you're going to finger me in my sleep. And that's like literally what happened to me. So,

00:04:57.760 so yeah, so it's like, I just, I don't know if I buy into that just yet, but never say never.

00:05:02.640 But you know what, can I just say something that is quite interesting? Yeah.

00:05:08.240 I grew up having mostly guy friends because I was a tomboy. I played sports and everything.

00:05:13.520 I used to be with the guys. That is why, even though I have a more feminine image now,

00:05:18.320 what's inside is quite different. And one thing that I understand very well, and one thing that they

00:05:22.160 told me, and one thing that I've picked up along the years, what happened in the nail salon,

00:05:27.680 a lot of the time is petty. And I'm not trying to say this because I'm trying to be with you,

00:05:31.760 because I know, and I have girlfriends and when they come to me to talk about what happened in

00:05:36.160 the nail salon, I'm like, wow, how is this going to add to my life? This is mental clutter. Do you

00:05:40.880 know that I have this to do tomorrow? I have this to do tomorrow. I have big things to worry about.

00:05:44.400 And you're trying to chew my ear off over something that is so petty that if you took two seconds to think

00:05:49.520 within yourself and reflect, you'll be able to let it go straight away. And then instead of us

00:05:53.600 spending 5-10 minutes talking about something pointless, we could be talking about something

00:05:57.440 that is more productive and something that is more substantial. And I think that a lot of the time

00:06:01.760 what we girls get, you know, and I say we girls just so that I don't single myself out, but what

00:06:07.680 girls tend to do a lot of the time is waste time talking about nonsense that doesn't mean anything. 1.00

00:06:12.880 I don't care about what happened in the nail salon. What's that doing to advance my life?

00:06:16.560 You can say, do you know what? These people in the nail salon were so damn rude. You know, babe, 1.00

00:06:20.320 I need to go to the next one. I need to go somewhere else. Actually, do you know what? Next

00:06:23.360 time, what do you reckon I should say? That's a great way to get them involved. But even still,

00:06:27.120 there's no point. I think the point is like relationships work better if as women we can

00:06:32.320 unload our problem, we can talk to other women about our problems and go to our men about like problems 0.55

00:06:37.280 we want to solve. It's not to say you can never talk to like, of course, my mom would bitch to my dad about 0.96

00:06:43.360 Tracy. Fuck you, Tracy. But it's just saying like in general, men don't want to hear about it. And

00:06:53.920 it's like if you're selling where the cars, right? And I know women aren't cars, but like where the 1.00

00:06:58.160 cars, you have to know your buyer. And if your buyer doesn't like listening to our problems,

00:07:02.080 maybe we could try to tell them about them less unless we want them fixed.

00:07:06.000 Yeah, and don't put and don't put like a lot of the emotional because this is the thing girls 1.00

00:07:11.920 sometimes can be really petty. And it's like, I understand because I'm always on the guy's side

00:07:17.200 with this because I don't have time for that. I also say to some of my girls like, listen,

00:07:20.880 you're really stressing me out because we've gone over the same problem. I've given you the same

00:07:25.360 solution. We're still talking about it. Those things are not needed. You can have so much you can be

00:07:30.000 your best friend with your man so easily. You can talk about a million different things where you

00:07:35.360 expand each other's minds. I think that sometimes what goes wrong is that we think our friend has

00:07:39.760 to be somebody that is burdened with our mental clutter. That's what it is. Because I have amazing

00:07:46.080 conversations with men and even in previous relationships, I've always been able to sustain

00:07:50.160 a conversation. Why? Because I don't talk about things that I perceive to be just like, okay,

00:07:55.040 like, here we go. Just talking for the sake of it. Obviously, if the ghost is juicy, then yeah.

00:08:00.480 You got to tell them. You know what I'm saying? Make it interesting. Make it a package. Make it be

00:08:04.720 something where they can be involved in. Whereas a lot of the time we're just like, yeah, and this

00:08:10.080 happened and this happened. We just want to tell a story and not actually even have the input from

00:08:16.000 someone else. And that's really important. And I definitely agree with that for sure. Without a doubt.

00:08:21.280 I think that's where, when we were talking about the concert stuff, right? Like if I'm telling you,

00:08:26.400 don't go, I have a feeling, whatever the reason, don't go. But we're saying that we want to have

00:08:31.920 genuine, good, solid friendships with women. So again, so taking some of that responsibility off

00:08:37.200 of our man, confiding in women that we know would maybe care about the nail salon stuff. But then it's

00:08:42.960 like, I don't know. I guess for me, it's like, so then if my friend wants to go out to a concert,

00:08:48.960 I have to kind of like consider, actually consider not going, but the emotional part that I don't

00:08:55.680 get from you, I get from her. So I still have to have in my mind autonomy. Like I should still be

00:09:01.280 able to challenge going to the concert because this relationship helps our relationship stay afloat.

00:09:10.720 Brittany, would you prefer, would you prefer a guy that you could trust his judgment?

00:09:14.800 Brittany, can you think of a man like in your life at all that you like genuinely, if he told you not

00:09:19.840 to do something, you would do it just because you respect him so much?

00:09:22.480 Brittany, one person maybe.

00:09:25.120 Brittany, so it's like that type of respect, like I'll give you an example. My, my dad,

00:09:31.680 I respect him so much. I do my accounting and I want to hire an accountant so bad.

00:09:35.920 And I like, she knows how much I hate it. I bitch about it. I bitch about it to everyone.

00:09:40.720 Sorry guys, I'll keep bitching. And I literally, because my dad says you need to know your numbers,

00:09:45.920 you need to do this. Like I just do it because he says, and I don't want to do it. And it's like,

00:09:50.880 that's the level of respect men want to have from us. It's like so much that even when you disagree,

00:09:55.760 even when you don't want to do it, you just do it because you love them and you respect them.

00:09:59.680 And it's someone that you trust so much, you know, that they would never like abuse you.

00:10:04.320 Yeah. Like that's, that's the type of like relationship we aspire to have.

00:10:08.960 Yeah. Because like, because it has to be someone you trust.

00:10:12.320 Yeah. I feel like I have just never had that. So I think that's where the concert talk can get

00:10:18.960 triggering. Cause you're like, what the fuck? Like if I can't talk to you about the nail salon,

00:10:23.120 I'm going to go hang on my friends. I still need to have a life. I can't completely trust in your

00:10:27.120 judgment because I can't completely trust you. Like, yeah, I, I do not have a man in my life or really

00:10:34.400 ever really have when I said maybe to one, but even then, um, so if it's not a yes, it's a no.

00:10:40.160 Right. So it's like, I've never had a guy where I feel like, yeah, if he says, don't go, I'm not

00:10:45.280 going. So, and so, and that's what is where I'm working on myself to where I can manifest someone

00:10:50.480 like that because clearly like there, there's something inside of me that's attracting these

00:10:56.160 type of men to where it's like, I need to correct something in here.

00:10:58.800 Well, and it's making the men of the future pay for the mistakes of your past.

00:11:02.800 Yeah. And so it's like, it's not his fault that you grew up, how you grew up. It's not

00:11:06.480 his fault, like who you've dated before. Yeah. And it's like, we always hate when a guy comes in

00:11:11.200 and we date him and he's like, you're cheating on me. You know what I'm saying? Like,

00:11:14.560 he's all up in our phone and like all this stuff. And you're like,

00:11:18.480 I'm just trying to love you. Like we, we can think of someone, but we do it to men all the time

00:11:23.600 where it's like, we can't submit because we're thinking, oh, we might do what that guy did

00:11:27.760 or that guy did where it's like a good, like a good, if a good solid man came in,

00:11:32.480 like someone who loved you, respected you and wanted what was best for you said something,

00:11:36.960 you're going to be questioning him and it's going to throw like, it's going to drive him off.

00:11:41.280 Yeah. And with that said though, I'm not going to lie. I look to have, um, the man that I want for

00:11:48.160 my future is a man that can inspire and teach me. That's why I, you want a unicorn. I've talked.

00:11:53.920 I do. I want a unicorn because I am a unicorn as a woman. What can I say? But I do want a man

00:12:00.160 that when I say, but babe, why can't I go though? And he'll be like, look, what if he said, just trust

00:12:06.880 me? Just even, I would do that. Even just trust me, babe, just trust me. I would like, you sure?

00:12:14.080 Cool. Then I'll trust you. It's just a reassurance. Just how women have intuition, men,

00:12:19.840 men have intuitions that we can't understand just how they can't understand our intuition.

00:12:25.360 But with something you said earlier, Denal, about how you like to cook for people because it's just

00:12:30.080 something you love to do and you love to have that experience with them. And it made me think

00:12:35.200 about what Andrew Tate was saying earlier about how, when a man is able to, I can't remember exactly what

00:12:42.880 he said, but did he use the word inspire or he used some word, but when a man is able to

00:12:50.560 be that to a woman, that is like you cooking for your man. It's like that, that feeling that you get 1.00

00:12:56.800 like, oh, it's like a sense of just like, oh, I love doing that for you. And that's how men are. They

00:13:03.040 want to be able to be in that space where it's like only a man can be and be able to do that because

00:13:09.200 they love doing that. And that's just innate in them. Yeah. Do you know what I think, though,

00:13:15.600 is a bit of a problem? I mean, well, like I said, I've had good exes that have been good communicators,

00:13:22.800 but then you guys say, oh, if a man's ambitious, he's got this whatever going on, he doesn't have

00:13:28.320 time to listen to you. I think that's not right, because like I said, I've had exes that want to

00:13:34.320 communicate with me. So it's like, it is possible. You said, remember, remember, I listened to your

00:13:41.280 words and you said your exes lacked ambition. Bums love to listen. Bums are great communicators.

00:13:49.600 Okay. Okay. Okay. Low, low ambition men. They love to listen.

00:13:57.920 The reason these I value men feel like they don't need to be good communicators is because we women

00:14:03.760 are letting them accept it. We're accepting that it's okay for you to be a bad communicator.

00:14:08.640 But you're trying to, because you're going to men and saying, why aren't you perfect?

00:14:14.160 Like that, that's essentially what you do. Like you want, you want, that's okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

00:14:18.240 Again, again, again, okay. Okay. Look at, look at, okay. Okay. So my, my, my dad, again, I,

00:14:24.080 I've grown up. I know these men. Okay. Not, not, not the entertainers, the athlete,

00:14:29.120 like them, them. I do not know, but, but the businessmen, right? Like the 1% like businessmen, 0.97

00:14:35.440 I grew up around them. They work 60, 70 hours a week. Do you want to come home from working 12

00:14:41.440 hours a day? Now you walk through the door, babe, do you, this is what happened to me. This is what

00:14:47.040 happened to that, that, and that. And then did it also, I have this problem with you also. Why can't

00:14:52.160 you look? And then he's like, why are you not listening to me, babe? So it's like, he's,

00:14:56.480 he's working his ass off all day trying to provide for you. And now on top of that,

00:15:01.840 he has to be your therapist. And now you might not look at it as therapy, but this is how the men

00:15:06.960 see it. But I've had men, I have had rich men that do have time. It's just unfortunate. I didn't like

00:15:12.640 them, but the point is it is possible. Okay. What, what, what did they, what did they do? Okay.

00:15:16.000 What, wait, okay. So what, what did you, what did they do? What? What did they do? What do you

00:15:20.960 mean? What did they do? What was the, what did the rich man do? Oh, they had business. He had a business,

00:15:24.800 you know, yeah, he had his thing going on. The point is, I just didn't like him,

00:15:31.360 but he communicated. So again, so again, again, this goes, this, this again, again, this, this goes back

00:15:37.280 to like, watch what women say, not what they do. Cause if I'm hearing to you, if he's rich and he's 0.87

00:15:42.240 emotionally available, that sounds like a golden ticket. That sounds like the unicorn. Okay. Okay.

00:15:47.200 But this is what, this is, but to me, to me again, so the men would hear this and they would say,

00:15:52.320 well, she goes on dates with men that aren't their types. What's she doing to me? Like, 1.00

00:15:56.720 this is, this is how the men see it. They're going to get to pick the men we won. No, no,

00:16:01.360 you do. You do. So if, so if a man, if a man asks me on a date, I have the option to say yes or no.

00:16:08.640 So you do. And I don't want Anthony Joshua and I don't want Anthony Joshua. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

00:16:14.800 Okay. Okay. Okay. I understand that. My point is, I'm telling you, I'm just telling you how the men

00:16:24.400 will see it. So they hear this in there. Now you're a user. You use men for their resources 0.87

00:16:29.920 because you're taking this man's time and attention and possibly money. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

00:16:36.000 But I'm saying, this is how, that's what it looks like. So, so I'm, I'm saying you, you,

00:16:43.200 you're a pretty girl. You're 26. You're not, you're not 36. You're 26. You absolutely get to choose.

00:16:50.320 They're there, but I'm not going to do like, that's one thing. I don't care how good looking you are.

00:16:54.640 I don't care. I can't deal with. Okay. Okay. But you told me, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Then. Okay. Okay. Look at me.

00:17:02.720 Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Die alone.

00:17:10.560 I guess what, it's so ironic that she said, I can't deal with. I can't deal with a man that can't communicate.

00:17:17.040 And he said the man is saying, I can't deal with. I can't deal with a woman.

00:17:20.960 that's going to cheer my to chew my ear off about these things usually and let me tell you what

00:17:29.040 let me tell you something and on top of that as a high value woman i'm not gonna lie as a high

00:17:34.000 value woman you really hardly have time to be discussing things that are so futile if anything

00:17:40.160 what you're going to discuss with your man when you come home from a hard day uh day's work or

00:17:44.000 anything be like do you know what babe i'm having this issue logistically i'm trying to figure this

00:17:48.640 out in my business i'm trying to do this what the hell do i do those are the sort of problems that

00:17:53.200 could actually get a man involved and those are the sort of things that as women of today we kind of 0.54

00:17:57.520 should concern ourselves with a little bit more we're no longer in high school i don't know why

00:18:01.520 we're having beef on a nail salon i don't know why we always get ourselves involved in gossip and things

00:18:07.200 just having a friend no but it's like britney said it's just having no no no so that you don't want

00:18:11.760 to be talking okay okay yes okay no but that's the thing there's there's a friend and it depends on the

00:18:17.520 kind of friend that you are to him who wants to have a friend that is constantly draining you with

00:18:22.480 pointless issues i cut my friends i cut girls off my friend group because they drain my ears with 0.87

00:18:29.120 nonsense about nonsense and that is really annoying and that's one of the things that sometimes i say

00:18:34.400 it to girls and i say to my friends i say to my friends around me i say you are the reason why men

00:18:38.880 hate girls you are the reason why men will cheat because they're there bam bam bam bam bam and i said 1.00

00:18:44.240 the million thing a million times i'm like shut up like can we talk about something better i'm just 0.61

00:18:48.560 i'm just gonna because i know blessings sick right so i'm just i'm just gonna end with this i just

00:18:55.440 think we're sold a dream and i just think a lot of the things we want and just so you know i'm gonna

00:19:01.200 people think i never throw myself into this i think at times there were things that i wanted

00:19:06.080 that probably were not realistic for example you know at one point i wanted a guy that was six seven

00:19:12.400 that's like half a percent of the population is that realistic probably not and i think

00:19:18.160 the older we get the more we see that things maybe are not realistic and i just think a lot of the

00:19:24.320 things you're asking for if you want them that's fine i don't knock you for wanting what you want

00:19:29.360 but i just think they're not this man is not real and and and if he was and if he and if he was and if

00:19:37.120 he was if he was real okay let's say he is real i will find him i will find him go ahead go and insert

00:19:43.280 yeah you know what let me let me know what it knows and give him my number because i will not argue

00:19:47.840 not argue i will do whatever he wants i'll be agreeable i'll be what what did tate say submissive

00:20:00.560 i will make him feel like he's the only man in my life until he says until he says something you

00:20:06.240 don't like until he says you can't go here and there a good man he also respects me what if he tells

00:20:11.840 you could never wear lashes in your life again you could never get your nails done again that

00:20:16.080 wouldn't be my man my man has to respect me he actually has to respect me okay okay okay okay

00:20:23.840 okay aster look at me look at me die alone yeah die die die okay okay okay um i'd like a verbal

00:20:35.680 confirmation that i am not racist or sexist from you aster i didn't say you were okay i just would

00:20:42.480 like that's okay no no no no no no no no no no no him okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay

00:20:48.960 let's let's let's i just this is all i need done the pot am i racist i don't think you're right okay

00:20:54.000 okay okay okay that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it yes or no yes or no yes that's it

00:20:57.680 that's all i need to don't think am i sexist i think you've made comments that am i do 0.84

00:21:03.600 you think i'm a sexist person yes or no i don't know yes or no yes or no the stuff you've said

00:21:09.040 are quite sexy okay all right fine fine close enough all right fine close enough um all right

00:21:14.320 guys um anyways anyways look at it this is gonna make some good clips anyways um thanks guys for

00:21:24.160 staying after hope you enjoyed the pizza thank you for having us everyone say thank you to blessing

00:21:29.600 thank you the sweetest most quiet man i have ever met you are probably a very good husband i'll

00:21:36.320 give you that oh okay guys um just so you know we have these convos after podcasts all the time

00:21:44.640 this one was more heated you know with youtube and most of them are after shows okay it's okay

00:21:51.680 i don't like the misrepresentation of strong women okay okay okay you guys see this is when we say

00:21:56.880 women are children this is this right here anyways um i don't even like you okay okay i don't believe 0.99

00:22:05.760 you anyways um like the video on your way out subscribe to the channel as many of you know i

00:22:11.200 was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to

00:22:19.040 help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do

00:22:25.760 possible

JustPearlyThings - December 28, 2022

Modern Women Gives Honest View About Men

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