Modern Women Gives Honest View About Men
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
206.60948
Summary
In this episode, we talk about what we look for in a man and why we choose the men we do in our lives. We also talk about why we don t care so much about money when it comes to choosing a man.
Transcript
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excited. So things like being ambitious, for example, or a man that is confident in himself,
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a man that wants more for himself in life. Those are the stuff that sometimes if it's missing,
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or maybe a man that doesn't take care of himself, like, yeah, you could be emotionally
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available to me. I love that. And that's the reason I stayed with you. But I need you to
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also work on yourself. You know, be a better man. And if you don't want that for yourself,
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it's a bit harder as well. Did you not ask them these questions or know this stuff before you got
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into a relationship? I'm not going to talk about my relationship. No, no, no, no, no. I just want to
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like, just a simple yes, and I don't want to like go deep into it. Were you like, did you have those?
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I think you never really know someone until you're in a relationship. I think it takes a lot of time
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to know the type of person it is. Because when you get into a relationship, you see the good stuff,
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because things I've always prioritized is I want a great family. Like, I do not want to be a single
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mother. And so I will always pick a man. I don't care about how much money you are. I don't care
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about protector. I need a man that's going to be a good father to my children. And usually those are
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men that are good communicators. So, so this is, this is, I'm just going to tell you what,
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remember what you said. This is contradicting what you said, because if you don't care about money,
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then you don't care if he's ambitious. And that's, if you don't remember earlier, you were talking
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about how you didn't care so much about money. You care more about emotionally.
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No, when I said money, I said I don't care about him paying for me, because I'm ambitious.
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But I'm saying then, so, so if you're ambitious, if you're ambitious, then what, so, okay, okay,
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okay. But I know, so that translates into money in the future, right? So, okay, okay, okay. So,
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but this is why, right, right. Okay. But this is why men don't really trust what women say,
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because you're saying, oh, I don't care about the money. But when you, when you're presented with a man,
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he's like, eh, I'm good with the money I have. Eh, I'm not that ambitious. You're like, no,
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I can't stay for this. No, if it came across that I said, I don't care about a man that likes,
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has money. I care about a man that's ambitious. Right. You don't have to have money right now,
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but you need to be hardworking and wanting money. When I say I don't care about money,
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it means I'm not going to go for a man purely because of money, because I'm also hardworking,
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I'm ambitious. So I'm not going to put that on you to pay for my lifestyle, because I want to
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prioritize other characteristics in a man. But to say that, I don't care about money. Yes,
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I do. I do. Cause I, I love money myself. I got to make money. So my man's got to make money.
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But I'm just saying, this is why men like, don't believe what women say,
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because we constantly contradict ourselves. And it's like the other question, I'm just telling you
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how the men would hear what you said. If you said, oh, they're great guys. Um, but they were bums,
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they would either hear that you, you date losers, or they would hear that you're not loyal because you leave
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good men. This is just, I'm telling you how they would take it. I think like my biggest problem
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is like, first of all, I hear all of you. Like, I totally agree with what a lot of you guys are
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saying. I think my biggest problem is that I do want someone that I can talk about my day with.
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And what you said is a fact. Men are problem solvers. They don't want to hear you gripe.
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They just want to fix it. And that's where I'm going through this, like trying to figure out what
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exactly I'm wanting or needing. But like, I want someone that can listen to that. And I don't know
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if I'm asking for a fucking unicorn, but I want to be able to, I want to be able to talk about what
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happened at the nail salon. I do want to have that friendship. I don't need you every single
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time I talk about something to try to fix it. Right. Of course we want someone who can,
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who has the potential to fix a light bulb, whatever. Great. But I think that was the big,
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that's been the biggest factor I've been missing in my relationships is like a friend. And so that's
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where I don't know how it's supposed to go, how it's going to end, what it's supposed to be. How am I
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supposed to adjust my expectations? What am I, am I asking for something that's unrealistic?
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So I have a question. Could you think of a friend that you have right now that you could
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potentially see yourself with? I'm going to be very honest with you. I do not really
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buy into the whole male friend thing. That's just a, probably a bit of a jaded belief. I can probably,
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I can be aware enough to say that. Um, I don't know. I, I honestly was sexually assaulted by my
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best friend before my 30th birthday, actually. So I have a little bit of a, like, I'm S I don't
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want to close that part of my heart off, but I just, any doubt I had about it, it felt like it was
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confirmed a little bit. I'm like, if, if, if you, if I'm drunk and you're given the chance,
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you're going to finger me in my sleep. And that's like literally what happened to me. So,
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so yeah, so it's like, I just, I don't know if I buy into that just yet, but never say never.
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But you know what, can I just say something that is quite interesting? Yeah.
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I grew up having mostly guy friends because I was a tomboy. I played sports and everything.
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I used to be with the guys. That is why, even though I have a more feminine image now,
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what's inside is quite different. And one thing that I understand very well, and one thing that they
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told me, and one thing that I've picked up along the years, what happened in the nail salon,
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a lot of the time is petty. And I'm not trying to say this because I'm trying to be with you,
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because I know, and I have girlfriends and when they come to me to talk about what happened in
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the nail salon, I'm like, wow, how is this going to add to my life? This is mental clutter. Do you
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know that I have this to do tomorrow? I have this to do tomorrow. I have big things to worry about.
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And you're trying to chew my ear off over something that is so petty that if you took two seconds to think
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within yourself and reflect, you'll be able to let it go straight away. And then instead of us
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spending 5-10 minutes talking about something pointless, we could be talking about something
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that is more productive and something that is more substantial. And I think that a lot of the time
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what we girls get, you know, and I say we girls just so that I don't single myself out, but what
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girls tend to do a lot of the time is waste time talking about nonsense that doesn't mean anything.
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I don't care about what happened in the nail salon. What's that doing to advance my life?
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You can say, do you know what? These people in the nail salon were so damn rude. You know, babe,
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I need to go to the next one. I need to go somewhere else. Actually, do you know what? Next
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time, what do you reckon I should say? That's a great way to get them involved. But even still,
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there's no point. I think the point is like relationships work better if as women we can
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unload our problem, we can talk to other women about our problems and go to our men about like problems
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we want to solve. It's not to say you can never talk to like, of course, my mom would bitch to my dad about
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Tracy. Fuck you, Tracy. But it's just saying like in general, men don't want to hear about it. And
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it's like if you're selling where the cars, right? And I know women aren't cars, but like where the
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cars, you have to know your buyer. And if your buyer doesn't like listening to our problems,
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maybe we could try to tell them about them less unless we want them fixed.
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Yeah, and don't put and don't put like a lot of the emotional because this is the thing girls
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sometimes can be really petty. And it's like, I understand because I'm always on the guy's side
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with this because I don't have time for that. I also say to some of my girls like, listen,
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you're really stressing me out because we've gone over the same problem. I've given you the same
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solution. We're still talking about it. Those things are not needed. You can have so much you can be
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your best friend with your man so easily. You can talk about a million different things where you
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expand each other's minds. I think that sometimes what goes wrong is that we think our friend has
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to be somebody that is burdened with our mental clutter. That's what it is. Because I have amazing
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conversations with men and even in previous relationships, I've always been able to sustain
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a conversation. Why? Because I don't talk about things that I perceive to be just like, okay,
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like, here we go. Just talking for the sake of it. Obviously, if the ghost is juicy, then yeah.
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You got to tell them. You know what I'm saying? Make it interesting. Make it a package. Make it be
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something where they can be involved in. Whereas a lot of the time we're just like, yeah, and this
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happened and this happened. We just want to tell a story and not actually even have the input from
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someone else. And that's really important. And I definitely agree with that for sure. Without a doubt.
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I think that's where, when we were talking about the concert stuff, right? Like if I'm telling you,
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don't go, I have a feeling, whatever the reason, don't go. But we're saying that we want to have
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genuine, good, solid friendships with women. So again, so taking some of that responsibility off
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of our man, confiding in women that we know would maybe care about the nail salon stuff. But then it's
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like, I don't know. I guess for me, it's like, so then if my friend wants to go out to a concert,
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I have to kind of like consider, actually consider not going, but the emotional part that I don't
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get from you, I get from her. So I still have to have in my mind autonomy. Like I should still be
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able to challenge going to the concert because this relationship helps our relationship stay afloat.
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Brittany, would you prefer, would you prefer a guy that you could trust his judgment?
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Brittany, can you think of a man like in your life at all that you like genuinely, if he told you not
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to do something, you would do it just because you respect him so much?
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Brittany, so it's like that type of respect, like I'll give you an example. My, my dad,
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I respect him so much. I do my accounting and I want to hire an accountant so bad.
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And I like, she knows how much I hate it. I bitch about it. I bitch about it to everyone.
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Sorry guys, I'll keep bitching. And I literally, because my dad says you need to know your numbers,
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you need to do this. Like I just do it because he says, and I don't want to do it. And it's like,
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that's the level of respect men want to have from us. It's like so much that even when you disagree,
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even when you don't want to do it, you just do it because you love them and you respect them.
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And it's someone that you trust so much, you know, that they would never like abuse you.
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Yeah. Like that's, that's the type of like relationship we aspire to have.
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Yeah. Because like, because it has to be someone you trust.
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Yeah. I feel like I have just never had that. So I think that's where the concert talk can get
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triggering. Cause you're like, what the fuck? Like if I can't talk to you about the nail salon,
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I'm going to go hang on my friends. I still need to have a life. I can't completely trust in your
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judgment because I can't completely trust you. Like, yeah, I, I do not have a man in my life or really
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ever really have when I said maybe to one, but even then, um, so if it's not a yes, it's a no.
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Right. So it's like, I've never had a guy where I feel like, yeah, if he says, don't go, I'm not
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going. So, and so, and that's what is where I'm working on myself to where I can manifest someone
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like that because clearly like there, there's something inside of me that's attracting these
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type of men to where it's like, I need to correct something in here.
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Well, and it's making the men of the future pay for the mistakes of your past.
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Yeah. And so it's like, it's not his fault that you grew up, how you grew up. It's not
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his fault, like who you've dated before. Yeah. And it's like, we always hate when a guy comes in
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and we date him and he's like, you're cheating on me. You know what I'm saying? Like,
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he's all up in our phone and like all this stuff. And you're like,
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I'm just trying to love you. Like we, we can think of someone, but we do it to men all the time
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where it's like, we can't submit because we're thinking, oh, we might do what that guy did
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or that guy did where it's like a good, like a good, if a good solid man came in,
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like someone who loved you, respected you and wanted what was best for you said something,
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you're going to be questioning him and it's going to throw like, it's going to drive him off.
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Yeah. And with that said though, I'm not going to lie. I look to have, um, the man that I want for
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my future is a man that can inspire and teach me. That's why I, you want a unicorn. I've talked.
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I do. I want a unicorn because I am a unicorn as a woman. What can I say? But I do want a man
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that when I say, but babe, why can't I go though? And he'll be like, look, what if he said, just trust
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me? Just even, I would do that. Even just trust me, babe, just trust me. I would like, you sure?
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Cool. Then I'll trust you. It's just a reassurance. Just how women have intuition, men,
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men have intuitions that we can't understand just how they can't understand our intuition.
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But with something you said earlier, Denal, about how you like to cook for people because it's just
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something you love to do and you love to have that experience with them. And it made me think
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about what Andrew Tate was saying earlier about how, when a man is able to, I can't remember exactly what
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he said, but did he use the word inspire or he used some word, but when a man is able to
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be that to a woman, that is like you cooking for your man. It's like that, that feeling that you get
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like, oh, it's like a sense of just like, oh, I love doing that for you. And that's how men are. They
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want to be able to be in that space where it's like only a man can be and be able to do that because
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they love doing that. And that's just innate in them. Yeah. Do you know what I think, though,
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is a bit of a problem? I mean, well, like I said, I've had good exes that have been good communicators,
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but then you guys say, oh, if a man's ambitious, he's got this whatever going on, he doesn't have
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time to listen to you. I think that's not right, because like I said, I've had exes that want to
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communicate with me. So it's like, it is possible. You said, remember, remember, I listened to your
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words and you said your exes lacked ambition. Bums love to listen. Bums are great communicators.
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Okay. Okay. Okay. Low, low ambition men. They love to listen.
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The reason these I value men feel like they don't need to be good communicators is because we women
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are letting them accept it. We're accepting that it's okay for you to be a bad communicator.
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But you're trying to, because you're going to men and saying, why aren't you perfect?
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Like that, that's essentially what you do. Like you want, you want, that's okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
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Again, again, again, okay. Okay. Look at, look at, okay. Okay. So my, my, my dad, again, I,
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I've grown up. I know these men. Okay. Not, not, not the entertainers, the athlete,
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like them, them. I do not know, but, but the businessmen, right? Like the 1% like businessmen,
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I grew up around them. They work 60, 70 hours a week. Do you want to come home from working 12
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hours a day? Now you walk through the door, babe, do you, this is what happened to me. This is what
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happened to that, that, and that. And then did it also, I have this problem with you also. Why can't
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you look? And then he's like, why are you not listening to me, babe? So it's like, he's,
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he's working his ass off all day trying to provide for you. And now on top of that,
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he has to be your therapist. And now you might not look at it as therapy, but this is how the men
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see it. But I've had men, I have had rich men that do have time. It's just unfortunate. I didn't like
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them, but the point is it is possible. Okay. What, what, what did they, what did they do? Okay.
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What, wait, okay. So what, what did you, what did they do? What? What did they do? What do you
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mean? What did they do? What was the, what did the rich man do? Oh, they had business. He had a business,
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you know, yeah, he had his thing going on. The point is, I just didn't like him,
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but he communicated. So again, so again, again, this goes, this, this again, again, this, this goes back
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to like, watch what women say, not what they do. Cause if I'm hearing to you, if he's rich and he's
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emotionally available, that sounds like a golden ticket. That sounds like the unicorn. Okay. Okay.
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But this is what, this is, but to me, to me again, so the men would hear this and they would say,
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well, she goes on dates with men that aren't their types. What's she doing to me? Like,
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this is, this is how the men see it. They're going to get to pick the men we won. No, no,
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you do. You do. So if, so if a man, if a man asks me on a date, I have the option to say yes or no.
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So you do. And I don't want Anthony Joshua and I don't want Anthony Joshua. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
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Okay. Okay. Okay. I understand that. My point is, I'm telling you, I'm just telling you how the men
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will see it. So they hear this in there. Now you're a user. You use men for their resources
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because you're taking this man's time and attention and possibly money. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
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But I'm saying, this is how, that's what it looks like. So, so I'm, I'm saying you, you,
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you're a pretty girl. You're 26. You're not, you're not 36. You're 26. You absolutely get to choose.
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They're there, but I'm not going to do like, that's one thing. I don't care how good looking you are.
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I don't care. I can't deal with. Okay. Okay. But you told me, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Then. Okay. Okay. Look at me.
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Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Die alone.
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I guess what, it's so ironic that she said, I can't deal with. I can't deal with a man that can't communicate.
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And he said the man is saying, I can't deal with. I can't deal with a woman.
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that's going to cheer my to chew my ear off about these things usually and let me tell you what
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let me tell you something and on top of that as a high value woman i'm not gonna lie as a high
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value woman you really hardly have time to be discussing things that are so futile if anything
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what you're going to discuss with your man when you come home from a hard day uh day's work or
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anything be like do you know what babe i'm having this issue logistically i'm trying to figure this
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out in my business i'm trying to do this what the hell do i do those are the sort of problems that
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could actually get a man involved and those are the sort of things that as women of today we kind of
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should concern ourselves with a little bit more we're no longer in high school i don't know why
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we're having beef on a nail salon i don't know why we always get ourselves involved in gossip and things
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just having a friend no but it's like britney said it's just having no no no so that you don't want
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to be talking okay okay yes okay no but that's the thing there's there's a friend and it depends on the
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kind of friend that you are to him who wants to have a friend that is constantly draining you with
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pointless issues i cut my friends i cut girls off my friend group because they drain my ears with
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nonsense about nonsense and that is really annoying and that's one of the things that sometimes i say
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it to girls and i say to my friends i say to my friends around me i say you are the reason why men
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hate girls you are the reason why men will cheat because they're there bam bam bam bam bam and i said
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the million thing a million times i'm like shut up like can we talk about something better i'm just
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i'm just gonna because i know blessings sick right so i'm just i'm just gonna end with this i just
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think we're sold a dream and i just think a lot of the things we want and just so you know i'm gonna
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people think i never throw myself into this i think at times there were things that i wanted
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that probably were not realistic for example you know at one point i wanted a guy that was six seven
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that's like half a percent of the population is that realistic probably not and i think
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the older we get the more we see that things maybe are not realistic and i just think a lot of the
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things you're asking for if you want them that's fine i don't knock you for wanting what you want
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but i just think they're not this man is not real and and and if he was and if he and if he was and if
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he was if he was real okay let's say he is real i will find him i will find him go ahead go and insert
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yeah you know what let me let me know what it knows and give him my number because i will not argue
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not argue i will do whatever he wants i'll be agreeable i'll be what what did tate say submissive
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i will make him feel like he's the only man in my life until he says until he says something you
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don't like until he says you can't go here and there a good man he also respects me what if he tells
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you could never wear lashes in your life again you could never get your nails done again that
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wouldn't be my man my man has to respect me he actually has to respect me okay okay okay okay
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okay aster look at me look at me die alone yeah die die die okay okay okay um i'd like a verbal
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confirmation that i am not racist or sexist from you aster i didn't say you were okay i just would
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like that's okay no no no no no no no no no no no him okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay
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let's let's let's i just this is all i need done the pot am i racist i don't think you're right okay
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okay okay okay that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it yes or no yes or no yes that's it
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that's all i need to don't think am i sexist i think you've made comments that am i do
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you think i'm a sexist person yes or no i don't know yes or no yes or no the stuff you've said
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are quite sexy okay all right fine fine close enough all right fine close enough um all right
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guys um anyways anyways look at it this is gonna make some good clips anyways um thanks guys for
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staying after hope you enjoyed the pizza thank you for having us everyone say thank you to blessing
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thank you the sweetest most quiet man i have ever met you are probably a very good husband i'll
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give you that oh okay guys um just so you know we have these convos after podcasts all the time
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this one was more heated you know with youtube and most of them are after shows okay it's okay
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i don't like the misrepresentation of strong women okay okay okay you guys see this is when we say
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women are children this is this right here anyways um i don't even like you okay okay i don't believe
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you anyways um like the video on your way out subscribe to the channel as many of you know i
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was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to
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