JustPearlyThings - December 28, 2022


Modern Women Lament About Modern Relationship


Episode Stats


Length

18 minutes

Words per minute

208.70818

Word count

3,913

Sentence count

281

Harmful content

Misogyny

56

sentences flagged

Hate speech

22

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the sexualization of women and the double standard that is placed on men and women when it comes to sex. We also discuss the importance of being sexually open and honest with who you take to bed.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 If you get, if you get, right, but, but for the men, right, where we have to be more selective
00:00:04.840 and sacred with who we give it to, right?
00:00:06.600 Like we, we value sex more like emotionally than men do.
00:00:09.600 They'll just, and like most men, you get butt naked in front of them, but they're not.
00:00:16.000 And so it's like, you're telling that small percentage of men, like, oh, don't, don't
00:00:20.540 do that.
00:00:20.980 Okay, fine.
00:00:22.240 But at the end of the day, I think it's more on women because there's more sexually promiscuous 1.00
00:00:26.540 women than there are sexually promiscuous men.
00:00:29.140 And it's men's mating strategy to do that. 1.00
00:00:32.460 That's their biology where it's not in our biology to be promiscuous, but we're the ones
00:00:36.640 doing it.
00:00:37.200 But we have this like feminism empowerment. 1.00
00:00:39.440 You can do whatever you want and still be fine where it's like, I feel like as, as women,
00:00:43.840 if, if, if like, you should come back and say, you know what, wait for someone that loves you,
00:00:48.740 you know, wait for some, wait for this, wait for that.
00:00:51.920 That's, that's just my opinion on it.
00:00:53.420 I just think it's more on the women because there's more of us doing it than the men.
00:00:57.620 Yeah.
00:00:58.020 I mean, I don't promote promiscuity, but I just think that there's just a double standard
00:01:05.320 where like men are just seen as it is what it is.
00:01:10.260 It's just biological.
00:01:11.460 They should like sex more, but women enjoy sex. 1.00
00:01:14.620 They do.
00:01:15.420 Like, it's okay.
00:01:16.740 Would you know what the biggest problem I would say is really, really, really, really, and
00:01:20.420 truly is the fact that all of a sudden from one, for one reason or the other, everybody
00:01:26.140 wants to talk about who they are having sex with and who they take to bed to the point
00:01:29.840 that you disclosing your sexual orientation is something that is even important at the
00:01:35.420 end of the day.
00:01:36.840 Listen, you may know that I'm not a virgin because I'm like, I told you I was in a relationship
00:01:40.320 for five years.
00:01:40.740 You're not?
00:01:41.520 Whatever I do.
00:01:42.900 No, wait.
00:01:43.620 Shut up. 0.95
00:01:44.220 Shut up. 0.95
00:01:44.400 I know.
00:01:45.040 Shocking, right?
00:01:45.900 I thought you were saving yourself.
00:01:47.520 My sister.
00:01:48.440 Listen, whatever I do or don't do is not for people to know, right?
00:01:52.140 It's not for people to want to discuss.
00:01:53.780 It's not for people.
00:01:54.480 Unless I'm going to show you my body, my naked body, I don't need to talk to you about whatever
00:01:58.360 I do in bed with someone else.
00:02:00.060 And I think that's one of the problems that also people are having, you know, they're
00:02:03.360 going to be like, listen, as a woman, you can have sex. 1.00
00:02:06.340 Fine.
00:02:06.880 What matters mostly, first and foremost, is how you handle yourself, how selective you
00:02:11.060 may be.
00:02:11.320 At the end of the day, they look for purity to a certain extent.
00:02:14.000 But if you're not a virgin, don't worry, my sister, has yourself well. 0.75
00:02:17.060 Don't be there expecting men to accept women to just be sexually open and move in certain
00:02:22.520 ways that are mad and not get the repercussion.
00:02:25.280 That is why when I dress myself, I am a beautiful woman with a good body.
00:02:29.220 I am, and I know, and I don't need anybody else to tell me I've got a mirror.
00:02:32.420 But guess what?
00:02:33.080 When I walk around, I dress in a certain way.
00:02:35.800 Why?
00:02:36.100 Because I want to display myself in a way that brings back the attention that I am looking
00:02:41.420 for.
00:02:41.980 So when men approach me, they don't approach me like I'm a hoe.
00:02:45.000 When men approach me, they approach me with respect.
00:02:47.800 Everything comes down to how you choose to portray yourself.
00:02:50.780 A lot of women want to portray themselves as hoes and be like, yeah, I'm that girl, hot 1.00
00:02:53.980 girl, Summer.
00:02:54.780 What do you think that's going to do to you?
00:02:56.080 What is that going to do to your other sisters? 1.00
00:02:58.320 Handle yourself with more care.
00:02:59.680 I stand here.
00:03:00.580 Like I said, I want to be a role model to every single woman.
00:03:03.340 Be powerful.
00:03:04.040 Be strong.
00:03:04.640 Be intellectual.
00:03:05.280 Be educated.
00:03:06.320 But don't forget, respect yourself.
00:03:08.200 Don't be saying, I fuck who I want to fuck.
00:03:09.680 No, be selective.
00:03:10.800 That's it.
00:03:11.120 I agree.
00:03:11.680 And secretive.
00:03:12.400 Women definitely need to be held accountable, definitely, because I do think, like Tate 1.00
00:03:17.280 said, we are the ones creating the problems for each other, because if you're opening your
00:03:21.600 legs to any man, now they don't even feel the need to get married anymore, because they're 1.00
00:03:25.840 like, well, I can just get sex.
00:03:27.400 Like, it's so easy.
00:03:28.740 However, what I'm just trying to say is, we can't just put it on the women, because these 0.98
00:03:34.360 men are the ones sleeping with them. 1.00
00:03:35.760 Well, I'm saying for 50 years, we have put it on the men.
00:03:39.960 Okay, there's a lot of little things in society you guys probably don't even notice, and I
00:03:44.380 didn't either before I started, like, really listening to what men say.
00:03:47.340 Like, if you say, she got knocked up, it sounds like something that happened to her, not a
00:03:51.880 choice she made.
00:03:52.740 Who knocked her up? 1.00
00:03:53.380 He did.
00:03:54.220 We always put the blame on the men.
00:03:55.680 It's very new.
00:03:56.960 This is a new type of content where you put any accountability on women. 1.00
00:04:00.660 Watch some early 2000s, like Steve Harvey dating.
00:04:04.520 No, watch some early 2000s Steve Harvey dating advice, where these women come up to 1.00
00:04:09.800 him, and, like, he just says, oh, like, even the idea of, oh, you intimidate guys.
00:04:15.240 No, there's probably something about you that guys don't like.
00:04:18.800 And that's just being honest.
00:04:21.940 Sweet feminine girls don't intimidate anybody. 1.00
00:04:24.680 There's probably something about you guys don't like.
00:04:27.660 And then on top of that, it's like, I just think men are never allowed to have standards.
00:04:33.720 Like, every time a man has a standard, he's shamed for it.
00:04:36.820 So if they say, oh, I like thin women. 1.00
00:04:38.260 I like pure women. 1.00
00:04:39.920 They say he's slut-shaming, body-shaming.
00:04:42.180 It's not the same for women. 0.97
00:04:45.320 Can I just go back to your other point about the fact that we always put it on men?
00:04:51.260 So I don't agree with that because, again, I did a lot of research into this.
00:04:55.020 So 90% of single motherhood is a woman. 0.96
00:04:59.220 So in a single parent home, it's a woman that is the single parent. 0.98
00:05:03.780 How can you say that we're always putting it on men when women are the ones stepping up for their kid?
00:05:10.160 So I'll tell you, you're right.
00:05:11.860 90% of women are awarded custody.
00:05:15.520 Like, I've actually talked to divorce lawyers about this.
00:05:18.100 They say they love representing women in court.
00:05:21.060 It's much easier for women than it is for men.
00:05:23.120 I'm not saying it's easy either way.
00:05:24.860 Like, court is tough.
00:05:25.700 But if I'm not in custody, you'll fight for it.
00:05:28.160 And I'm saying, I've actually, I know someone that went through this where he was trying to get, like, custody of his children.
00:05:34.760 And it's very hard because once, if he leaves the home, then she can not let him see, like, not let him see his kids for, say, six months.
00:05:42.480 So with this guy, it was like, she kicked him, like, they were fighting, whatever.
00:05:46.960 He left.
00:05:48.040 So because she wanted him out of the house, I'm going to clarify, he wanted to be a part of his kids' lives.
00:05:53.080 What happened was, because of COVID, his court date kept moving.
00:05:56.580 Like, they kept moving it back.
00:05:57.920 And what happened was, she went to court and said, he hasn't been around for eight months.
00:06:01.080 He hasn't been around for a year, and he'd been trying the whole time.
00:06:05.880 And so it's like, there's a lot of situations where men want custody of their children, and they can't get it.
00:06:11.020 And there's even men that kill themselves because she leaves, she takes half of his assets, and he takes the kids, and he doesn't have access to their kids. 1.00
00:06:19.460 Like, there's a whole, it's like men's rights activists.
00:06:22.200 You probably never heard of them.
00:06:23.280 They talk about these issues where, like, men, there's a guy in Ohio, in the U.S.
00:06:27.720 He, his, um, his girlfriend or whatever had a baby, and she gave the kid up for adoption.
00:06:34.540 He wanted the kid.
00:06:35.380 He had no rights to his kid.
00:06:37.060 Stuff like that happens all the time, but nobody, and so when you say, when you say 90%, like, my thing is, like, we don't think about why don't they have access to their children.
00:06:46.980 And also, what would you rather?
00:06:48.780 Let me ask you, because you've got a son.
00:06:50.480 Would you rather leave your child with a babysitter that is a woman or babysitter that is a man? 1.00
00:06:54.860 A babysitter?
00:06:55.860 Yeah, a babysitter, nanny, whatever.
00:06:57.700 A woman or a man? 0.92
00:06:58.960 I mean, I would probably prefer a woman. 0.98
00:07:01.360 Exactly.
00:07:02.720 Exactly.
00:07:03.580 Because at the end of the day, this, although I understand what you're trying to get at, we can't just put it on women and everything like that, but we also have to understand, we, as women, we've got different talents and gifts.
00:07:13.720 Okay, and I think that's kind of, like, what a lot of men are trying to get at is, like, you have a certain talent, which is the power to attract, which means you can get basically any guy that you want if you're easy enough.
00:07:25.080 Okay?
00:07:25.320 So, I do understand the rhetoric of saying, be more selective because you, as a woman, have got way more power in your hands to create that interaction than a man would. 0.97
00:07:36.500 Fine.
00:07:37.120 Self-control.
00:07:38.320 Take your power with responsibility.
00:07:40.800 As a woman, yes, naturally, you will stay with your child because you're more nurturing. 0.95
00:07:44.700 That's your natural gift.
00:07:45.500 That still doesn't mean that a woman is to be excused for everything.
00:07:50.240 Again, for the sake of argument right here, and also because you've put me in this position where I actually want to stand against you, I will say, men and women both are equally entitled to complain about what is going on because both are messing up.
00:08:03.160 A lot of women, they are not fit to take care of their children, but because of the bitterness and anger they have towards the relationship that didn't work out, they make their child suffer. 0.98
00:08:13.300 They take advantage of the fact that they're a woman and they mark their men. 0.94
00:08:17.000 That is not okay.
00:08:17.920 And there's, like, women, let's just be honest. 1.00
00:08:20.680 Like, women are spiteful. 1.00
00:08:22.000 When they hate a man, they hate, and I'm not saying all women, I'm not saying every person does this, but it's like, women will use the kids as a pawn. 1.00
00:08:30.160 And what happens is a lot of times, even Kanye, that happened in front of us, he, his, his, another thing they'll do is they can move states and the father has no say if they gave the woman's, like, primary custody.
00:08:41.960 And I'm not saying, like, I know all the ins and outs of the laws.
00:08:45.600 This is just, like, from talking to divorce attorneys.
00:08:48.380 And it's, like, it's just, like, men, their issues are not brought to the forefront.
00:08:55.780 And it's really sad that, like, you know, a lot of times a big issue is men committing suicide after divorce.
00:09:01.620 There is a guy, I just learned this the other day, so I'm probably going to butcher it.
00:09:05.400 But our whole, most of the domestic violence laws are based off of a system that automatically assumes that the woman's the victim in the U.S. 0.69
00:09:13.760 And so it's, like, a lot of men, like, most, when you talk to people that have actually worked in domestic violence, most domestic violence situations are mutually abusive, where the man and the woman are hitting each other.
00:09:24.120 And the men still get put away and the woman don't. 1.00
00:09:28.320 A woman can just call the cops and, like, a cop will come in and automatically, based on their training, assume that the woman's the victim. 1.00
00:09:36.920 Okay, wait.
00:09:38.400 Again, advocate for women that go through these situations.
00:09:44.160 I don't know what the stats tell you.
00:09:46.480 I don't know what the stats are not telling you because these things you cannot actually regulate because a lot of things go unsaid.
00:09:52.400 It's from, can I just, just to give you perspective, it's from people that work with these couples and that work at women's shelters will tell you this.
00:10:00.440 So much, so much, so much so that they're, like, there is the three feminists that came up with the system that the justice, and I'm butchering this, but it's, like, the system that the justice system is built on that automatically assumes the woman's the victim. 1.00
00:10:13.020 They were saying that even in their practice, it wasn't what they saw, that they were saying, you know what, it's actually mutually abusive.
00:10:19.560 Sorry, go ahead, go ahead.
00:10:20.420 Well, I was just going to say that when it comes to domestic abuse, I believe that women are inherently more vulnerable to be in that situation.
00:10:31.160 Because when a woman does commit, and this is why men get upset that women cheat, because when a woman commits to a man, she gives herself emotionally.
00:10:40.000 When you attach to yourself to somebody emotionally, now you are a victim to all of these things.
00:10:44.000 Whereas men, as Andrew Tate very quite rightly said, he's got the decision whether he wants to make you 10 out of 10 happy or 5 out of 10 happy and keep you crying here and there.
00:10:52.280 Because it is true that once men get a woman to fall in love with them, they've got the power. 0.63
00:10:57.600 That's also what men don't understand, and that's how they mess about. 0.63
00:11:00.320 And that's why domestic violence, I believe, is so prevalent amongst women being the victims instead of being the perpetrators. 0.83
00:11:07.420 Although there are cases, of course, that women do take the piss and everything. 1.00
00:11:10.300 And I'm saying people that work in these environments are saying usually it's mutual.
00:11:15.080 So people that work with the couples that try to help them out at women's shelters are saying it's mutual.
00:11:21.600 Yeah, it becomes mutual.
00:11:23.080 And this is the thing, again, having experienced that myself.
00:11:25.220 So I'm saying, sorry, I'm just going to finish.
00:11:28.240 So I'm saying this is a way that men are discriminated against.
00:11:32.320 If a woman's abused, there are women's shelters everywhere. 1.00
00:11:35.440 There are no men's shelters.
00:11:36.640 And there's all these little things in society that once you see it, you can't unsee it.
00:11:40.940 Where I genuinely believe that men are the most discriminated against group in society.
00:11:46.480 In terms of emotionally, I do agree with that.
00:11:48.720 Just because I do think there's not really much safe space for a lot of men to talk about how they felt.
00:11:53.980 Like there was a video that went viral of Ruga.
00:11:57.160 He was performing at a show and a woman grabbed his private parts. 0.82
00:12:01.500 He was so upset by it.
00:12:03.600 Like he couldn't perform.
00:12:04.560 Like he just dropped the mic and just walked off.
00:12:07.260 And nothing would have happened to that woman.
00:12:09.060 Like to me, that is so unfair that he would probably just think, oh, you know what, that's a show.
00:12:13.580 But he got violated.
00:12:15.460 That's sexual assault. 0.97
00:12:16.920 And I think there's not a space for men to talk about how they feel and actually what they go through as well.
00:12:22.140 Because we hear about women a lot, but not men.
00:12:24.760 So I do agree with that in that sense.
00:12:26.320 But even, and I talk about this, like a lot of times women, we're just like bailed out of bad decisions we make.
00:12:33.960 And it's like, if you're bad with money and you get homeless, you have a women's shelter.
00:12:38.260 Men are just homeless.
00:12:39.060 There's a homeless shelter down the street.
00:12:40.640 I want to do an interview there.
00:12:42.620 Like 90% of the homeless people there are men.
00:12:45.500 But it's like nobody cares unless it's a woman. 0.99
00:12:47.660 You know, there was, I can't remember.
00:12:50.140 It was somewhere in the Middle East.
00:12:51.360 There was a group of women that were like kidnapped and it was like national headlines or whatever.
00:12:56.000 There was a group of men that were kidnapped and slaughtered and they didn't even talk about.
00:13:00.140 It's like they only care when it's women. 1.00
00:13:02.060 It's like once you, and when I first heard this stuff, I was like, no.
00:13:05.540 But then once you see it, it's like you can't unsee it.
00:13:08.220 But men are, I think that I understand what you're saying.
00:13:12.040 But because men have so much power in society, if a man is homeless, it'll be like, you have so much power.
00:13:20.140 Like, what percent of men have power? 0.82
00:13:23.980 That's like me saying, that's like me saying, okay, like when they say, oh, you can get flown out to Dubai and all this stuff.
00:13:32.000 And I'm like, a lot of girls, I'm like, I've never been offered anything.
00:13:36.460 Like, I haven't been offered shit.
00:13:38.520 Like, and it's an even smaller percent.
00:13:40.620 It's like two, one percent of men that really.
00:13:42.800 Like the workplace, right?
00:13:44.380 Because women have to take maternity leave already, they are already at a superior standard. 1.00
00:13:50.440 But you have the choice, you can choose, but you can't remember, you can't, you can choose to be a boss.
00:13:55.340 You could choose not to have kids.
00:13:56.980 And under 30, a lot of women are out earning men in cities.
00:13:59.960 So what do you say to that?
00:14:01.480 But a lot of women want to have kids though. 1.00
00:14:03.560 So that's what I'm trying to say in society.
00:14:06.260 Society like favors men really.
00:14:08.620 So it's, it's a bit unfair to just say.
00:14:11.400 How does, how does, okay, can I, can I have an example?
00:14:13.500 How, how does society favor men?
00:14:15.740 Well, like the high paying jobs.
00:14:17.040 I know you're going to say women don't want to do the, the high paying jobs, but most of the high paying jobs, they favor men. 1.00
00:14:24.700 Like a woman has to work 10 times harder if she wants those roles. 1.00
00:14:30.360 Let me, let me ask you a question.
00:14:31.720 Um, the NBA, it's, it's mostly, it's mostly, it's like what, 60, 70% black, roughly.
00:14:39.320 Do they discriminate against Asians?
00:14:41.080 There's like no Asians in the NBA.
00:14:43.340 Oh no, but that, so you're saying they're better.
00:14:45.640 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:47.600 I'm saying does the NBA discriminate against Asians?
00:14:50.740 There are very few Asians in the NBA.
00:14:52.860 What I'm saying is in any group, you, you're never going to find true equality when, of outcome.
00:14:58.240 Because different groups like different things.
00:15:00.940 So I think Asians make up like 90 something percent of like, I don't, they're like typically in the U.S.
00:15:07.700 Sorry, please don't come at me for stereotyping.
00:15:10.080 But, but, but they, they make up a higher percentage of like, like higher education admissions.
00:15:15.860 Yeah.
00:15:16.280 So you're never going to have true equality.
00:15:19.100 And it's like me personally.
00:15:20.740 That's why you're saying that society don't care about men. 0.96
00:15:23.680 No, I'm saying we shouldn't, no, no.
00:15:25.680 I'm saying we shouldn't fight for true equality because people want to do different things in different groups.
00:15:29.920 And I'm saying in the top 1%, I've seen what it takes to get there.
00:15:34.780 I've seen firsthand.
00:15:35.820 I've seen my dad like grow up.
00:15:37.340 He, he worked 60, 70 hours a week.
00:15:40.800 He didn't have a life.
00:15:41.560 He didn't have friends.
00:15:42.940 Most women value, like we value a social life. 1.00
00:15:45.800 We value having fun.
00:15:46.620 Like what I've had to do the last three years to build this.
00:15:49.320 Like Jess, most, most girls would not do it. 1.00
00:15:51.840 Oh no, not at all.
00:15:52.720 Oh no.
00:15:53.760 And it's like, it's like, and that's okay.
00:15:56.080 But that doesn't mean women are being discriminated against. 1.00
00:15:58.500 It means they don't want to work 60, 70 hours a week.
00:16:01.260 I interviewed top, like, um, I decided I wanted more rich friends when I lived in Milwaukee.
00:16:06.060 And I just asked the executives if I could like a billion dollar companies, if I could sit there, have a coffee with them and just interview them about their life.
00:16:12.900 And both of them that I got to interview, I could see the one deficit they had in their life.
00:16:18.060 Neither of them really had families and it was really sad.
00:16:20.820 And you can tell both of them like missed out on a part of life and you could tell they regretted it.
00:16:24.580 You can't have everything.
00:16:26.480 And women don't want to do those roles because they are ungodly hard. 1.00
00:16:31.420 Can you imagine having like, I, some women do, but it's a lot harder. 0.90
00:16:36.640 I said, I said, you've got to think like in the nineties, women couldn't even vote. 1.00
00:16:40.840 This is in the nineties, the nineties, so yeah, it was like 1980, no, no, that's not women got the right to vote 20s, 20s. 1.00
00:16:48.120 No, no, it was 1918, oh, 18, oh, 18, I think it's in the, I think it's in the, okay.
00:16:54.180 But why women couldn't even, so remember, but why, why didn't women have the right to vote women? 1.00
00:17:00.100 So historically men had to go to war and fight.
00:17:02.920 That is why women couldn't vote was because we, if you had the choice today in 2022, when we were in war and you had to go 1.00
00:17:10.600 fight on the front lines, would you pick it at personally?
00:17:14.100 And this is where people will take me out of context and say, I don't think women should vote personally. 1.00
00:17:17.780 If I, in 2022 had the choice where I had to go fight in the front lines, just like the men in a war, or I could give up my right to vote.
00:17:24.660 I would give up my right to vote.
00:17:26.160 And that's what happened back then is they equated voting with going to war because it's all I'm trying to put it in.
00:17:31.940 But I agree with that because, yeah, men do take a lot on themselves.
00:17:36.060 The fact that they fight for us, I, I, I appreciate men, the stuff that they do, I couldn't go to war.
00:17:41.500 But I'm saying, I'm saying we weren't discriminated against, it was just how society run.
00:17:46.120 We weren't discriminated against, we had a freedom, like that was a freedom that came with the responsibility of getting drafted.
00:17:52.760 That wasn't discrimination, if you wanted to be equally drafted, go vote.
00:17:55.960 Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is that's how society run.
00:17:58.180 Who's picking that?
00:17:59.080 Who's anyone, anyone?
00:18:00.340 Yeah, she's like, I would give it up.
00:18:01.880 That's my point.
00:18:02.460 Because they could have gone.
00:18:03.460 I don't even like politics.
00:18:05.340 And it's also the same thing.
00:18:06.720 Women didn't have access to education until very long ago. 1.00
00:18:10.040 They couldn't own property.
00:18:11.180 Which means that realistically, it was, you, you could typically remember back then it was typical for people to get married young.
00:18:17.520 So it was typical for them.
00:18:18.960 So, so the, the, the reason was when you were married, it was, you were looked at as one.
00:18:24.080 And that was, and typically.
00:18:28.780 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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