JustPearlyThings - April 12, 2023


Modern Women LOVE TOXIC Men


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

201.90279

Word Count

1,627

Sentence Count

156

Misogynist Sentences

17

Hate Speech Sentences

9


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.240 So I'm curious, have you had, I know the majority of divorces are initiated by women.
00:00:05.320 Have you had men initiate divorce?
00:00:07.380 Yeah, sometimes.
00:00:08.300 What are the typical reasons that men initiate from what you've seen?
00:00:11.940 So what I've seen, so sometimes it's adultery.
00:00:15.180 Okay.
00:00:15.720 Or she gets to, like, she's trying to take charge in the house and start demanding things.
00:00:24.140 So she doesn't have to, like, especially if she's educated.
00:00:27.720 So she's got a job and she's coming home late.
00:00:32.260 And then she can't, she's too tired to it.
00:00:34.200 What's the percentage, just roughly, of your experience of men initiate in divorce and women initiate in divorce?
00:00:39.980 The percentage, well, I don't know the exact...
00:00:41.720 Roughly, just off your experience.
00:00:42.420 Because I know the percentage that Pearl's got statistics, but what have you seen in your own experience?
00:00:47.420 That men initiate divorce?
00:00:48.640 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:49.060 Like, roughly.
00:00:49.760 The last time we saw it was around, like, 15%.
00:00:53.040 Really?
00:00:54.120 Yeah.
00:00:55.000 That means a statistic spot on there.
00:00:56.460 That's how bad it is.
00:00:57.560 Yeah.
00:00:58.020 But again, English courts, I have to say, it's not, like, straight away.
00:01:02.260 It's not as bad as California, I'm going to say, for example.
00:01:05.220 How long do you think women want to leave marriages before they do?
00:01:09.400 How long?
00:01:10.220 Yeah, typically.
00:01:11.340 So from as soon as they get married and...
00:01:13.620 Yeah, like, they just always say, like, if a girl starts working out and going to the gym, she's leaving your ass.
00:01:20.240 I don't know.
00:01:21.080 I mean, that's really relative.
00:01:22.580 I don't know.
00:01:22.920 Maybe, I would say, like, six months.
00:01:26.000 Six months.
00:01:26.380 To a few years.
00:01:27.360 To a few years.
00:01:27.840 I have to...
00:01:28.380 It sounds really extreme, but if it keeps happening, there's all these patterns.
00:01:33.180 It's, yeah.
00:01:33.920 Okay.
00:01:35.220 So what about you guys' ex...
00:01:36.940 Do you guys have ex-girlfriends?
00:01:38.380 No, never.
00:01:39.400 Never had an ex.
00:01:40.500 Really?
00:01:41.000 Yeah, no.
00:01:41.640 I got a girl now.
00:01:42.500 I've never had an ex.
00:01:42.920 How long did you go with her?
00:01:44.180 Well, we was together 10 years and we split up for three years.
00:01:47.320 Then we got back together.
00:01:48.420 Okay.
00:01:48.940 Yeah.
00:01:49.880 Oh, that's pretty cute.
00:01:51.180 Yeah, I have an ex, yeah.
00:01:52.560 Does she demonize you?
00:01:54.120 Oh, yeah.
00:01:54.740 100% she does, yeah.
00:01:58.460 I'm not going to get into the details because I'm not here to be emotional or anything like that.
00:02:02.060 But it was quite, let's just say, abusive, simply.
00:02:07.380 And she loved to demonize me for it.
00:02:10.980 And, you know, I had the mindset back then.
00:02:14.200 I still do.
00:02:14.900 You know, like, if she's dressing, as we'd say, like a slag, then I wouldn't have it.
00:02:20.420 And I said to her, like, if you want to dress like that, that's fine.
00:02:24.220 But don't, like, don't be with me.
00:02:26.600 You know, you've still got your choice.
00:02:27.760 I'm not controlling your choice.
00:02:28.880 But she'd take that and make me into being controlling.
00:02:32.200 But, like, I don't know.
00:02:35.300 She'd turn me into the demon.
00:02:38.100 And then, um...
00:02:39.280 I think what she's doing is gaslighting.
00:02:42.380 So, which sadly happens both ways.
00:02:45.040 Because I personally have only had one ex.
00:02:47.800 And he did exactly that to me for a good two years.
00:02:51.020 And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's been literally a life-changing experience.
00:02:57.480 And I think what's really sad is that this is literally, like, it doesn't matter what gender.
00:03:01.680 There are good people out there who just, you know, we were simple-minded people who just wanted to,
00:03:07.140 we were excited to meet someone who we thought we were going to be happy with.
00:03:11.100 And these people are, they're so good at manipulating you.
00:03:14.080 They love-bomb you.
00:03:15.220 They say, oh, my God, I love you.
00:03:16.600 I want to have your kids.
00:03:17.400 Like, you just fall for them.
00:03:19.080 And when they have their clothes in you, boom.
00:03:21.560 They start coming in.
00:03:22.740 And you're like, where does this come from?
00:03:24.000 I think girls like toxic men.
00:03:26.160 I agree.
00:03:26.680 I agree.
00:03:27.160 Yeah.
00:03:27.620 I agree.
00:03:28.120 I think, like, there's something you're attracted to about it.
00:03:31.060 Do you know why?
00:03:32.720 Well, I think it's because, like, the same traits the hero has, the villain has, too.
00:03:36.580 So, if a dude is very, like, they always say, like, why does that girl stay with their girlfriend?
00:03:39.960 Or the, why does the girl stay with the boyfriend that beats her up?
00:03:42.920 Well, it's because, like, that aggression that's in the hero is also in the villain.
00:03:47.740 You ask any girl, if, when they say, like, they got a crush, a celebrity crush or something,
00:03:52.660 I guarantee it's going to be in the villain in the movie.
00:03:54.940 They like the bad guys.
00:03:56.360 It's just, I'm just...
00:03:58.080 Would it be okay if I just make the distinction and the reason why these girls are getting it wrong?
00:04:04.200 Yes.
00:04:04.840 They, women actually, go look in a romance novel.
00:04:08.040 Men like their corn, girls like the books.
00:04:11.700 We look very differently, and you can go to a romance novel in a bookstore.
00:04:15.080 You can see that girls tend to go for the hunky guys, the vampires, the bad boys, and they change them, right?
00:04:22.420 It's all about changing them.
00:04:23.220 Now, now, now, now, the important thing is, is that they are actually innately attracted.
00:04:29.440 That's what I'm saying.
00:04:30.380 Girls start off the feminine energy does want the man.
00:04:33.040 They want the masculine, but because they're jaded.
00:04:36.460 And then they, they had to...
00:04:39.480 What do you mean because they're jaded?
00:04:40.440 They want the masculine because they're jaded.
00:04:41.920 No, because, because I genuinely feel that they, I'll say this from personal experience.
00:04:46.400 Uh-huh.
00:04:47.420 I, as a, as a young girl, as well as remembered, like, I, I have a very traditional family.
00:04:53.820 My mother stayed at home, took care of the kids.
00:04:55.820 My father was the breadwinner.
00:04:57.100 For me, that is normal.
00:04:58.780 That is what I saw myself, envisioned myself with.
00:05:01.560 And, sadly, because times have changed, my, my, my mom started saying, you can't just,
00:05:08.620 you know, rely on a guy.
00:05:10.140 You've got to also have your craft.
00:05:11.720 You, you, you've got to have something to bring to the table.
00:05:13.740 So, I agreed.
00:05:14.620 I said, yeah, of course.
00:05:15.780 So, I went out there.
00:05:17.040 I spent the time on myself.
00:05:18.160 And I really, like, worked on myself, tried to be a good, you know, like, a good society,
00:05:22.300 person in society.
00:05:23.540 But the thing is, then, in that journey, I became too masculine, right?
00:05:28.400 I overshot.
00:05:29.700 And then, I'm starting to give bro vibes.
00:05:32.920 And, and then, of course, then these girls are asking, why am I not getting the guy,
00:05:37.260 the masculine guy?
00:05:38.000 Well, one, you're too masculine.
00:05:41.460 I know that because I was there once.
00:05:43.620 I had to teach myself.
00:05:45.780 I had to remind myself that I need to tone it down.
00:05:48.880 There are certain times where that's appropriate, such as when I'm in a more work situation
00:05:53.580 and I have to be more decisive.
00:05:55.220 But when I'm on a date, I am different.
00:05:58.800 I, I want, I want a masculine man.
00:06:01.060 I defined, I actually looked at myself and I said, what do I want?
00:06:05.300 Do I want a feminine man or do I want a masculine man?
00:06:07.180 Why did, why did your mom, why do you think your mom encouraged you to be masculine?
00:06:11.220 If it's, it seemed to have worked out well for her.
00:06:13.320 She got to provide her husband and like.
00:06:15.060 It's very sad, actually.
00:06:15.860 We had this conversation and my mom said to me, she said,
00:06:18.880 in my times, she said, guys just came up to me all the time.
00:06:23.520 Now I will say this.
00:06:24.460 My mom's very feminine.
00:06:25.380 She's like the damsel in distress.
00:06:26.760 So she does attract guys anyways.
00:06:28.780 But she was saying like, I would use to walk on the street and I will see great quality
00:06:33.580 men everywhere.
00:06:34.200 Like, I feel like I can just pick them off the street.
00:06:35.980 They're all great.
00:06:37.180 But I don't know.
00:06:37.780 She said, I don't know what's going on.
00:06:39.500 She was like, it makes me really sad, but I feel like guys are not as high caliber anymore.
00:06:44.700 And I'm worried for my daughter.
00:06:46.180 I'm scared that they're going to not be able to deal with themselves and they don't have
00:06:51.300 that person either.
00:06:53.260 So, so to compensate, she's pushing me on the other direction of being self-sufficient.
00:06:57.700 But the danger of that is that it's over.
00:06:59.800 It was overshot.
00:07:00.740 I think that's a common problem now.
00:07:02.320 So yeah, like you said, your mom's pushing you that way.
00:07:04.340 Just to go back on your point that you made before, the fact that you realized you was
00:07:07.360 too masculine, that is, that is what men, I think today are asking women to do.
00:07:13.240 It's just, for me, I've got female friends that I've got boyfriends and they sometimes
00:07:17.100 ask me for advice and I just tell them, look in the mirror.
00:07:19.520 And I don't, and I say, look in the mirror.
00:07:21.020 And I'm not talking about look at your body, your face.
00:07:22.680 I'm saying, look in the mirror and look at the person you're being.
00:07:25.560 When you're going to restaurants, like, how are you trying to, you trying to dominate
00:07:29.200 the situation when you go to a family gathering, trying to dominate, like, you have to let
00:07:32.880 your man be a man and women find a problem with that.
00:07:37.320 Do you guys think there's a shortage of husbands or wives?
00:07:41.480 Depends on the location, I guess.
00:07:43.480 Wives.
00:07:44.160 Wives.
00:07:45.080 Um, that's an interesting question.
00:07:47.640 Um, I'd say, I'd say there's a shortage on husbands because men, like, it's just not
00:07:54.020 worth it.
00:07:54.700 Like any logical man, which most men, it's safe to say are logical.
00:07:58.460 I'd say it just doesn't make sense.
00:08:00.340 Oh, because they don't want to get married.