Modern Women Need TO INVEST On ETIQUTTE
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
199.99307
Summary
In this episode, I sit down with a dear friend of mine, Pearl, to talk about all things etiquette. We talk about her journey to becoming a Master Esteem Coach, how she s learned to be mindful of what she can get better at, and what it s like being a woman in a masculine environment.
Transcript
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sometimes your gestures are a bit masculine okay and i don't know if it's like the sport thing like
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you do like you talk with your hands oh i do is that masculine it can be it's a little bit all
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over the place and so it's not as um well like yesterday you may or may not remember when you
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were cutting the steak and you were talking to me with the fork and you were kind of like
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i'm stabbing the air oh no no okay i'm done i'm done i thought you did mine no no it's okay i i
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do i i know actually did i say what i what you thought i was gonna say yeah the swearing the
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swearing the swear i try to tackle one thing at a time good because i get overwhelmed if i go after
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like too many things at once so my steps is right now cooking okay the next thing is fashion okay
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he's coming okay i'm not gonna lie the swearing is gonna be last because i just like that hey
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hey you know what all i'm saying do you you know share your body count drop the f-bombs it's just
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okay we're not gonna go down it's just every now and then a good f-bomb i understand but it's gonna
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it's gonna go it's gonna go i mean you can say it in you know a company of people that you trust but
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when you say it to random strangers they're like man pearl has a potty mouth and you just would hate
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for people to have that as a first impression one in all seriousness y'all i mean the only reason i
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mean pearl is absolutely completely genuine and super sweet and i am so grateful to be here and i'm
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not you know blowing smoke but um i remember i i'm sharing this with you because i had to go through
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that and my ex-husband was like i don't like you using that language and i stopped so and you take a
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you take feedback really really well so that's one of those things that once you're already kind
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of mindful of it it's like yeah i know i do that i need to stop as opposed to we can film here
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oh i'm so irritated yeah yeah yeah so that's it but you've um the fact that you are aware the fact
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that you are trying and you are moving with intention is huge especially at your age because a lot of women
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waste their 20s i was married at 25 but a lot of women waste their 20s and then they get to this age
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and then they're scrambling and you see that panic so i'm really proud of you that you're being mindful
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of what you can get better at no none of the stuff you said surprises me okay that's how it was like
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the feedback i could you know because most of the stuff i sort of have plans like to to work on you
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know but i have to do one at a time otherwise i get overwhelmed no i agree with you one at a time is
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good one at a time is good you have a goal you're getting incrementally better and that's fine you
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don't have to be perfect how did you work on the scatterbrain thing uh okay so with the communication
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so some of the work that i do has a lot of communication and then going to graduate school
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and having to present and just always thinking about what i'm saying how the audience is going to
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receive it and that audience could be work people or it could be you know my guy or it could be my
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children and i'm not perfect at it but i try to think of the end in mind so at the end of this talk
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what do i want you to take away with that take away from that and then i try to walk it back honestly a
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lot of it comes with maturity too so don't put too much pressure on yourself i mean you're 26 right
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i'm 47 so it's totally fine but just being mindful of it another big thing what you do here with youtube
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um that's helped me a lot having a youtube channel uh being in zoom meetings i've taken a lot of
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etiquette and elegance classes so i've had to invest in making sure that i show up a certain way getting
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that feedback seeing yourself recording yourself and saying wow i'm a little bit all over the place
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and just being mindful and taking the steps to change where did you take etiquette classes because
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we were trying to find some but i was having a hard time finding some that weren't like five grand for
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etiquette they they are expensive it is an investment and actually i heard of one from kevin samuels so i
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did anna bay's signature program i've done emma dupont signature program um oh goodness business
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communication um actually i'm enrolled in her international etiquette course but it's kind of like
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you go down a rabbit hole i've done um jamila musayeva's uh programs i bought her uh programs
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for me i can nerd out on this stuff because i really like it because again as a boy mom with no sisters
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working in a masculine environment i have to be very mindful that doesn't come on me because you can start
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acting like a dude because that's what you're around all the time and so i'm just very intentional
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about watching how men behave and doing the opposite so no i think that's something that's
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definitely rubbed off on me just because just because i grew up between so i was i grew up with
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six i have ten total but i was yeah it's kind of a long story um my mom gave up one kid for adoption
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when she was 17. so it's the same parents but they just started five years later like they were young
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and then three we adopted as teenagers so i didn't grow up with four of them so that yeah they adopted like
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three 15 year olds but they were you can speak to the blended family wow yeah but it was um like
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two came after i left for college and one came when i was a year old wow you see so and she had moved
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out when i was i think she moved out when i was two or something so oh wow yeah i was i think she might
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have come before i was so young but when i was in the house there was six does that make sense it does
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there was no blended it was just me and my siblings gotcha okay i grew up between two boys
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so and my next youngest sister was five years younger than me and we just didn't we didn't really
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get along when we were younger so um it was kind of like i was just friends with the boys and then
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you're playing volleyball which is around girls but it's not really a feminine environment right right
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um and same with basketball and like track like you know i mean you're around girls but it's really
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not conducive for like femininity right right and then when i worked i was in corporate i was also
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i was the only girl at the office yeah so i definitely can see how that stuff can rub off on you because
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there's definitely like stuff that like in terms of being girly i just get frustrated because i'm like
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they're like oh it's so nice you don't wear a lot of makeup i even had someone accuse me of like
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not it's so funny he said i um i don't do my hair and makeup because of my brand and like i have to
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come off as like the girl next door who just doesn't know and i was thinking of like i wish i knew how to
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curl my hair i wish i knew how to do makeup i'm like i just genuinely don't know how to do it and so
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like a lot of times i would just get super frustrated because i would try to be like this is so bad
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yeah well don't beat yourself up about it i mean one of the things that i understand you with the
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sports you know there's a good side of that competition but just knowing that being competitive
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you know is a little bit masculine so you just have to kind of work to offset it if that's something you
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want to do when it comes to that beauty routine um one of the things that i would do when i would have
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someone do my hair or makeup i would ask them teach me show me what you do sometimes we just sit in the
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chair oh i love it and we go because you know like we talked about that maintenance with the nails and
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the eyelashes and all that i have to be able to do it myself you know i wear very light makeup i do like
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a red lip some mascara and that's it like i'm not contouring i put red polish on when it chips i get
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it repainted that's pretty much my signature look and it's something that i can do on my own so you
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start small and you find something that you can maintain and find something that your guy likes and
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you just go with that so you don't have to act like you're going to be on the runway just you know
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incremental progress okay we got the marriages let's you ready to watch some kevin samuels let's
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do it let's watch some kevin oh dear so what i'm good at is i'm coachable you are my cooking is coming
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yes you fed the the crew yesterday i actually feed them a decent amount i feel like it's good
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practice actually practice having them around so i'll just like it depends on the day because
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sometimes it's like i'll run out of food too quick but um i i do give them food a lot because i'm
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like i get feedback and i can see what is good and what is it and so it's kind of like a family
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you know so it's sort of is good practice that's another thing you do really well at you actually
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seek out feedback because i noticed y'all yesterday when pearl was cooking and she made a whole like
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days worth of food she asked everybody after they ate okay rate me on a scale of one to ten
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and she got some really high marks but even if it was nine or 9.5 she's like what do i need to do
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to make it a 10 and i was like whoa pearl wants that perfect score and that's a good thing you know
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that that try that want to that drive i think that's good as many of you know i was just banned on tick
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