JustPearlyThings - Modern Women REVEALED Their True Emotions About Their EX

00:00:00.000 Tommy Lee is a rock star for those of you that don't know and they I was researching them for this show and they've had just like an on again off again relationship since let me see it says 1994 so they got married after four days of knowing each other yeah after they got married in Cancun Mexico

00:00:24.800 and literally they were just on again off again they also had a sex tape that was released during when they were together they had two sons and he also was arrested for abuse and she still actually got he went to jail for it and she actually still got back with him after and then again on again off again on again off again until now they're not together they've separated

00:00:54.720 and he's married to someone else and she's single now the reason that I bring this up is because recently she has been doing a documentary and in the documentary she said that she texted at 55 she hasn't been with him for five years she texted Tommy Lee that he is her one true love while he's married to someone else

00:01:16.720 damn so my question for the panel was have you ever had an ex that was incredibly hard to get over

00:01:27.640 and what made him so hard to get over

00:01:33.060 that one for me I would say it was really like my first kind of love so I was at a young age I think I was like 18 at the time when I got with him

00:01:44.500 so I feel like when you're at that age especially us women being so emotional I just felt really attached to him and even though I'd see him doing a lot I feel like I'd always want to run back to him

00:01:55.720 everything I was doing he just knew the right word to kind of say and I feel like I was too good at getting sucked in

00:02:00.880 how long were you on again off again with him so from 18 to when

00:02:05.060 from 18 until I was turning 20 so like nearly three years no I'm sorry nearly two years

00:02:11.640 okay but that one was very serious we kept going back we initially started talking in like 2019 and then by the end of 2021 that's when we called it quits

00:02:22.860 but during that stay during that time period we got together about three times and broke up three times so yeah

00:02:30.660 and would you say he was a nice guy or a bad boy looking back now definitely a bad guy a bad boy

00:02:36.840 bad guy bad guy yeah what makes you say that just like obviously the age I am now and the maturity I

00:02:44.460 have looking back there's a lot of things that he used to do that he'll be very good with his words

00:02:49.060 I know now when certain guys say stuff they don't mean it but back then it's very easy to get sucked in

00:02:55.200 like I said before and he just used to always know the right words to say which can be a good trait sometimes

00:03:00.060 but in relationships especially as a guy and what made it so hard to leave just because he knew the right things to say

00:03:07.680 he was selling you a dream pretty much and you know it's that puppy love it was puppy love for me because obviously that was like my first

00:03:14.040 real proper like relationship like we moved in together and everything so it was very serious

00:03:19.380 and obviously at that age as well I'm thinking like this is some fairy tale going on

00:03:24.580 but realizing now and looking back at it now I wouldn't have done so many things that I did do and

00:03:30.640 listen to him the way that I did if that makes sense okay you want to go next yeah I feel like my

00:03:38.800 the love that I had is kind of different to yours in the sense that mine wasn't a bad guy we both really

00:03:46.780 cared about each other and it was was kind of on and off for some time but he went jail and for like

00:03:52.360 three years he went to jail yeah but three years so for one but he wasn't a bad guy okay okay so the

00:04:01.480 reason why we always want to see the good in the drug deal I feel like I feel like a lot of times certain

00:04:09.040 situations it's a cop-out answer sometimes to say oh you're not a situation things like that but

00:04:14.500 genuinely for this guy like here the way that um he was brought up from very very young was was not

00:04:20.920 good and it kind of like that was the path that was predestined for him but then he's kind of like

00:04:24.940 got out of it now and I'm like we're good and everything but for me it was very difficult to get

00:04:31.500 over him when he came out of jail um we wanted to get back together but I was like you know what you

00:04:37.000 have to change yourself everything like this fast and he took a year to do it and by that time um I was

00:04:43.080 like we're not going to get back together but I was still very much in love with him but I had to

00:04:46.540 just realize that the amount that I loved him and the amount that I love myself I'm very solid on

00:04:52.660 what I want and what I do not want from a man and um he had a child as well and in that time the year

00:04:57.640 that he took to change I realized that I do not want to be with someone who has already has a child 0.99

00:05:01.060 because I'm selfish I want to be fast for a little bit of the relationship at least but um did he change

00:05:06.700 in that year yeah he did the total 160 so he was he was a bit like more of a bad guy before and

00:05:12.880 then he like changed into more of a nice guy he was I mean he was in jail we can't he was he was

00:05:17.740 always a nice guy he's very good got a beautiful heart but I just feel like he saw that there was

00:05:22.660 another way to live life rather than the one that he had been stuck in for that time um it just was a

00:05:28.720 thing where I realized that as much as I love him and as much as he loves me and all these kind of

00:05:33.880 things like there's a greater kind of love like I feel like when you love people and when people love

00:05:38.260 you it's a very selfish kind of thing because it's like I love you I want I want you to be with

00:05:42.860 me and we're gonna make it work and what I want but I was just like you know what for the best for

00:05:48.260 what I want and what you want you can't just keep on going down this path what what made him

00:05:52.460 different than other guys that made it hard for him for you to get over him everyone says that they

00:05:58.160 want honesty I heard this all the time we're talking about it earlier but he was genuinely very honest

00:06:02.180 if he did something bad he did something good like I had a lot of issues of trust and even if he did

00:06:09.680 something bad he was honest and it kind of made me accept that you know what even if I might feel

00:06:14.000 like people are down a wrong road and I have a stereotype of roadmen that they're that they're

00:06:19.100 dishonest and that they like to use words because men know that women want to hear certain things

00:06:23.960 right and I feel like men use that to manipulate women and he showed me that you know what someone

00:06:29.660 can go be in that lifestyle want better for themselves and not manipulate you words they could

00:06:34.280 just tell you the truth and if you don't accept it you don't accept it and then you have to do a sort out

00:06:38.240 what you're going to do from there on so you like that he told you what it was exactly yes okay and

00:06:42.260 that's what made him different you feel like other guys told you what you wanted to hear where he told

00:06:45.800 you the truth and yes and also another thing which I think a lot of men nowadays really struggle with

00:06:50.480 is being assertive in a respectful way like he would not allow me like I can be a bit um I think

00:06:57.200 everyone can be a bit um push the buttons of it sometimes you know push the boundaries and stuff

00:07:00.680 but he always let me know this is not how it's going to be do not continue this behavior and I respected

00:07:06.080 that because he knew the right way to do it and a lot of men do not know how to do that nowadays

00:07:09.980 they get angry or they don't know how to express themselves or they um blame you and yeah this

00:07:15.080 is just not the one okay and what about you right okay so when I um was going out with my ex I was

00:07:24.200 very young compared to him so how old are you how old was he okay you're gonna be underage I'm sure I just

00:07:32.180 feel it yeah I was 14 and he was 19 sorry shock horror everyone yeah but he actually did ask permission

00:07:44.240 from my mom and dad because he was like I really like your daughter and he was he wasn't like a creep he

00:07:51.900 wasn't giving creep okay he was giving like gentleman actually and he was very kind and sweet but it was also

00:08:00.900 long distance as well so he was living in Holland and I was living here but he would get like

00:08:06.900 um I think it was like a 12 hour coach every two weeks to come and see me and he was working like two jobs as well

00:08:15.900 at like 19 years of age um but I think from that because I was so young he was my first everything

00:08:23.900 as well like first well you know what I mean like first everything and so I think that's what kept

00:08:30.900 the attachment for so long but how long were you with him three years three years yeah but I think because

00:08:40.900 I was so young I think I was just so excited that like an older boy had liked me

00:08:47.900 really and when I look back on it now at 21 years of age I'm thinking I don't think that's too right if

00:08:57.900 one of my friends would come to me and say I like a 15 year old what do you think why did your parents allow that

00:09:05.900 because they saw how he was because he was a nice yeah he was a good dude I was literally begging them as well

00:09:11.900 like if your daughter's growing like I love him you know what I mean what can you do right um but I think the

00:09:19.900 attachment was is because I was so young and I think I was with him for that long because I was so young and also

00:09:26.900 didn't really know what I want so you you would have said he was a good guy though yeah not a bad boy good boy no he wasn't a bad boy

00:09:34.900 no he wasn't a bad guy at all but I'm in a relationship

00:09:37.900 you know I'm in a relationship now

00:09:40.900 um and it what made him different was that you were young it was your first like guy that you were with

00:09:45.900 yeah okay yeah literally but um I look on it I look on it now as in it was an okay experience

00:09:55.900 but we also broke up in between as well and that's I think because I was so young I like missed the

00:10:06.900 the love and like the kind of like he kind of led the way through everything so I think that's why I went back

00:10:11.900 but I actually broke up with him because I was bored

00:10:13.900 I was bored you broke up with him because you were bored I broke up with him like three times

00:10:17.900 just because you were bored because I one because I was bored because we what do we have in common really

00:10:23.900 what do you have in common with a 14 year old and 19 like we are actually in different paths of life and

00:10:29.900 then he was long distance as well and it's just I was growing up and I was starting to like other things

00:10:38.900 and I was starting to actually know what my type was maybe you know so yeah that's that's the reason why

00:10:46.900 I think I kept on going back because of the age okay yeah what about you yeah I can kind of relate

00:10:52.900 to some of what you're saying there because my first relationship I was 16 and he was 20 and he was

00:10:57.900 already a father um and again my mum did not want me to date this guy she would literally pin me down

00:11:04.900 uh to stop me from going to see him what was wrong with him the fact that he had a child and he was 20.

00:11:09.900 Right okay yeah yeah so yeah it was like that's not what you want for your 16 year old daughter um

00:11:14.900 but yeah I fell head over heels in love with him um I moved out of home when I was 17

00:11:20.900 got my own place he moved in with me so we were having a very adult relationship from the age of 17.

00:11:26.900 um I did end up breaking up with him because actually what was interesting was I ended up taking on

00:11:33.900 quite a masculine role in that relationship I started earning very well and he wasn't and I was then

00:11:40.900 paying for everything and it was I lost respect for him to be honest um and I kind of made it known it

00:11:47.900 kind of came out as quite an outburst one day and I was like you know don't feel embarrassed about the fact

00:11:51.900 that every time we go to the movies I'm getting my purse out and every time we get you know and all this

00:11:56.900 so he and how old were you did you say um so at that point when I broke up with him I was getting on for 19.

00:12:01.900 Okay so you were with him for three years.

00:12:03.900 Yeah yeah um broke up with him um but I loved him you know really loved him he retaliated when I

00:12:09.900 brought that to ascension by throwing furniture around so I was like right you're out you know that was that.

00:12:14.900 He was a bad boy too.

00:12:16.900 Well he actually wasn't but he was so ashamed that it was like he reacted by just throwing the drawers like

00:12:22.900 punching the wall but I'd never seen that side of him before.

00:12:25.900 Oh okay.

00:12:26.900 He was soft as a kitten up until that point.

00:12:28.900 And then you said I pay I pay for all our dates like you yelled at him and then he started punching the wall.

00:12:34.900 Yeah but I and three years I'd never seen that side of him.

00:12:37.900 Okay.

00:12:38.900 But at that point I was like pack your bags you're gone.

00:12:40.900 And then you.

00:12:41.900 Yeah.

00:12:42.900 You had to kick him to the curb.

00:12:43.900 I had to.

00:12:44.900 He had to go.

00:12:45.900 He had to go.

00:12:46.900 Right.

00:12:47.900 But then when he moved on and got into another relationship I then started to feel like actually maybe I still love him and wanted to be with him.

00:12:55.900 So it was almost like when he when someone else wanted him I wanted him back you know and then it actually took a while for me to get over him which was strange.

00:13:04.900 Wait so you were you were good you were moved on then you found out he was dating someone else and you you wanted him back.

00:13:10.900 Yeah.

00:13:11.900 He wanted me back.

00:13:12.900 Did you did you get him back or no.

00:13:13.900 No.

00:13:14.900 So he he actually was trying to get me back for a period of time I didn't want to know.

00:13:19.900 But then the moment he got with somebody else it was a bit of a toxic trait in me you know I then wanted him back.

00:13:25.900 And that that time it was too late because he'd then moved on moved him moved in with someone else.

00:13:30.900 And it actually to take me a long time because I sort of thought oh you know maybe he is my my one true love you know.

00:13:36.900 He made a mistake but he's still a good guy and I still love him so it did take me a while to get over that one I think because it was that first significant relationship.

00:13:45.900 What about you.

00:13:46.900 Interesting.

00:13:47.900 Okay so mine is a little bit chaotic I guess.

00:13:50.900 My ex partner and the father of my children I met him when I was 14 years old.

00:13:56.900 What is it with.

00:13:57.900 No seriously.

00:13:58.900 How old was he.

00:13:59.900 He was I was 14 he was 16.

00:14:00.900 So we were still.

00:14:01.900 A little better.

00:14:02.900 Yeah.

00:14:03.900 What is it with this.

00:14:04.900 Honestly.

00:14:05.900 What do you guys do in England my lord.

00:14:06.900 Like what is it.

00:14:07.900 It's a bit groomy.

00:14:09.900 Yeah so.

00:14:10.900 So he was like he was my first ever boyfriend and when I met him I remember this I was at school and I met him he came and chatted me up at the bus stop after school with his friends.

00:14:20.900 And I thought he was the most handsome guy that I'd ever seen in my life and I was super flattered that he was talking to me.

00:14:27.900 So we dated I say we dated we were in a little bit of a relationship for maybe like a year.

00:14:32.900 And then he broke up with me.

00:14:34.900 And I was just I was heartbroken.

00:14:36.900 I think at that time I really convinced myself that I loved him and I was mature enough to know what love was and my friends and my family were like no he's not for you.

00:14:45.900 He's not.

00:14:46.900 They were obviously seeing something that I didn't see because you're in that bubble of being in love and this juvenile sense of he's my everything like at 14.

00:14:54.900 I don't think you can know what your everything is.

00:14:57.900 So we were together first kind of intimate experience and things like that.

00:15:02.900 And I think that I put that I held that to quite you know on quite a pedestal that I was intimate with somebody for the first time.

00:15:10.900 And so this must be love and we're going to be together forever.

00:15:13.900 We our relationship came to an end when we was I don't know I think maybe like a year later I was about 15.

00:15:19.900 And I saw other people and things like that but he would always contact me.

00:15:23.900 So it will be like we wouldn't speak for maybe like six months or something.

00:15:27.900 I'll change my number.

00:15:28.900 And then I'd randomly bump into him in the street which just kept fueling this sense in my mind of oh my god we're clearly meant to be together.

00:15:34.900 When did the kid come in?

00:15:36.900 She was a father.

00:15:37.900 Yeah.

00:15:38.900 When did the kid come in?

00:15:39.900 So we got back together.

00:15:40.900 I would say again sort of in line with that whole us bumping into each other and me feeling like it's fate.

00:15:45.900 It's meant to be oh my gosh.

00:15:47.900 Fast forward.

00:15:48.900 I was 19.

00:15:49.900 I'd moved out of my parents.

00:15:50.900 I was living on my own.

00:15:51.900 I was living a great life.

00:15:52.900 I was very happy.

00:15:53.900 And again I moved it.

00:15:54.900 I moved into a place and on my first day of living there I've gone to the like the local shop and he's just there.

00:16:00.900 And he's like this is the pub.

00:16:02.900 The pub next door is where he like cashed his checks after work and stuff.

00:16:05.900 So again this just fueled this.

00:16:07.900 We're meant to be.

00:16:08.900 This is the universe.

00:16:09.900 This is God bringing us together.

00:16:11.900 So we got back together when I was 19.

00:16:14.900 We had our daughter when I was 21.

00:16:17.900 Our son when I was 22.

00:16:20.900 And we had a 10 year relationship.

00:16:22.900 Wow.

00:16:23.900 We separated when I was 30.

00:16:24.900 When I was 30.

00:16:25.900 He's only two years older than me so he was 32.

00:16:28.900 And it was very in the beginning stages it was very.

00:16:31.900 I wouldn't say it was very toxic but I didn't see him for what he was.

00:16:35.900 I was just in this bubble of I love him and he's who I'm gonna be with forever.

00:16:39.900 Would you say he was a bad boy or a nice guy?

00:16:41.900 I would say that I believed he was a nice guy but in hindsight he's not a very nice person.

00:16:46.900 Okay.

00:16:47.900 He's a bad boy.

00:16:48.900 If you had to classify one he'd be bad boy category.

00:16:50.900 Yeah but not like your stereotypical bad boy like he's got edge about him.

00:16:54.900 More like you're just not a very nice person.

00:16:56.900 You're actually very insecure.

00:16:57.900 You've got a lot of issues in yourself.

00:16:59.900 You project a lot of things.

00:17:00.900 And I think that was particularly when we had our children.

00:17:04.900 We moved away from my parents.

00:17:06.900 So I was quite isolated.

00:17:07.900 I lost quite a few of my friends.

00:17:09.900 I didn't really see my family.

00:17:10.900 So all of my relationships started to take a bit of a hit for this love that I thought was gonna be forever.

00:17:16.900 And I would say by the time by the time I got to 29 I started to see it for what it was.

00:17:22.900 And I started to see he was quite narcissistic.

00:17:25.900 He was quite I would never want to deform his character and say he was narcissistic.

00:17:30.900 But from my experience I felt like I was being emotionally manipulated mentally manipulated and things like that.

00:17:36.900 So we separated when I was 30 and it was actually a really bad breakup like really really bad breakup.

00:17:43.900 So we've been we haven't been together for five years four and a half five years and he hates my guts.

00:17:50.900 We co-parent and he's a great father.

00:17:52.900 I wouldn't take that away from him.

00:17:54.900 My children absolutely adore him and he adores them.

00:17:57.900 They see him very regularly but he doesn't even give me eye contact.

00:18:01.900 He hates me.

00:18:03.900 Why?

00:18:04.900 I don't mind to be honest with you.

00:18:06.900 I think I think that he didn't take the time to heal from our relationship.

00:18:13.900 And if I'm being really transparent I checked out in like the last year of our relationship.

00:18:19.900 I checked out he you know he was doing his thing.

00:18:21.900 He was unfaithful in the beginning of our relationship.

00:18:24.900 It prompted like an open relationship for like a year which I didn't really want to have.

00:18:29.900 But because he wanted to have it I kind of agreed with it because I felt like that was the right thing to do.

00:18:33.900 I never stepped out and did anything but I would like tell him I was going on a date and I'd go to like my girlfriend's house and just chill with her.

00:18:40.900 So that he thought I was going on a date because I knew that he would be with someone else.

00:18:43.900 It was really bad really toxic.

00:18:45.900 Wow this sounds very.

00:18:46.900 This is very Pammy actually.

00:18:47.900 Yeah.

00:18:48.900 This is quite Pammy.

00:18:49.900 So I'm curious out of everyone here what who was anyone not on again off again with the guy.

00:18:56.900 Well I would say for the ten years we were consistent.

00:18:59.900 You were consistent.

00:19:00.900 But in the first four years we were on and off.

00:19:02.900 On and off.

00:19:03.900 I've never done the on and off thing.

00:19:04.900 So you were completely on.

00:19:05.900 Yeah I was on and off.

00:19:06.900 On and off.

00:19:07.900 On and off.

00:19:08.900 On and off.

00:19:09.900 On and off.

00:19:10.900 Cause he went in jail is a bit undefined I guess.

00:19:13.900 Do you think that women like instability? 1.00

00:19:17.900 Because everyone's for the most part everyone's ex doesn't sound stable.

00:19:21.900 I feel like we don't like it.

00:19:24.900 It's not really a choice with them.

00:19:26.900 Because there's no stable men.

00:19:28.900 There are.

00:19:29.900 My boyfriend is very stable.

00:19:31.900 But there are a lot.

00:19:34.900 I'm very lucky with mine.

00:19:36.900 But there are a lot that aren't.

00:19:38.900 So I feel like if it was up to us it would all be stable.

00:19:41.900 But there's two of us in it.

00:19:44.900 And always one is not stable.

00:19:48.900 You know what I mean?

00:19:49.900 Yeah but I mean as a young woman you have so much choice.

00:19:51.900 Like there's so many men in the friend zone.

00:19:53.900 That is very true.

00:19:54.900 That you know are very stable.

00:19:55.900 But we never pick them.

00:19:57.900 We don't do that.

00:19:58.900 I don't know why we don't pick them.

00:19:59.900 And it's almost like there's like I don't know.

00:20:01.900 Like a thrill of the ups and downs.

00:20:03.900 Like even with my ex.

00:20:05.900 I feel like part of the reason why I was even so attracted to him in the first place.

00:20:09.900 It's because like he's just unpredictable.

00:20:11.900 Like you know them people that you can call them bad people.

00:20:13.900 But they're only good to you.

00:20:16.900 It's that kind of attract.

00:20:17.900 I don't know if you kind of understand what I'm saying.

00:20:19.900 But it's like it makes you feel like wow like.

00:20:22.900 Makes you feel special.

00:20:23.900 Yeah.

00:20:24.900 I think women like a challenge when it comes to love. 1.00

00:20:27.900 I think they like to feel that they've got to win the guy over.

00:20:31.900 I felt that in my younger days.

00:20:33.900 I sound like I'm really old now.

00:20:34.900 I'm not old.

00:20:35.900 I'm still young.

00:20:36.900 But you know it was that feeling of like feeling like in some way like when with the ex.

00:20:41.900 You know when I saw him with somebody else it's like I want to win him back.

00:20:44.900 You know because I felt like I had to prove that I was the better one.

00:20:47.900 You know.

00:20:48.900 I think that's that you can say that's ego or your pride.

00:20:52.900 But I do feel there is.

00:20:53.900 It's like a game.

00:20:54.900 Yeah.

00:20:55.900 It's literally like a game.

00:20:56.900 I think it's attached to a sense of worthiness that you don't feel worthy for love just to come easy to you.

00:21:00.900 That you have to work for it.

00:21:01.900 And I know that I experienced that growing up with my mum breaking up with my dad when I was three.

00:21:07.900 And I swear to God that woman probably only in the past few years has got over him. 0.85

00:21:12.900 It's taken a long time.

00:21:14.900 So I witnessed that my mum always sort of pining after my dad in this roundabout way. 0.70

00:21:21.900 So that's where I learned that behavior from.

00:21:23.900 That feeling like love had to be about pining for someone craving them rather than them just coming easy to you.

00:21:29.900 I feel like there's that's one way to look at it.

00:21:32.900 But from my experience like I have had something that's like kind of up and down stuff.

00:21:36.900 And I feel like as women we when we get emotionally attached we kind of feel like from my experience.

00:21:43.900 I'm like oh you know I know that there might be some flaws in this person.

00:21:47.900 But I've seen people change.

00:21:49.900 They can change too.

00:21:50.900 I know the right way.

00:21:51.900 They just have to see the right way.

00:21:53.900 Do you really see people change?

00:21:55.900 Yeah.

00:21:56.900 I've changed a lot.

00:21:57.900 Anyone can change I think.

00:21:58.900 I feel like people get worse over time actually.

00:22:01.900 I actually don't think that.

00:22:02.900 I don't know a single person that's changed completely.

00:22:05.900 It depends which way you flip the coin.

00:22:08.900 You can either come out of a relationship better or it can change to the point where you feel worse than yourself.

00:22:14.900 It depends about obviously the people that you are before you go there in the first place.

00:22:17.900 I mean I think I hear a lot of people that say they changed.

00:22:20.900 But then I watch their relationships and they're exactly the same.

00:22:23.900 I think traits are difficult to change but behaviors can be changed.

00:22:28.900 And mentality can be changed as well.

00:22:30.900 Because you have to like look at the personality traits and the behavior it causes.

00:22:34.900 And then you have to look at like you have emotional logic and you have logical logic.

00:22:38.900 And you have to choose which one suits that situation at the time.

00:22:41.900 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:22:42.900 It's just true.

00:22:43.900 When you say emotional logic what can you give an example?

00:22:46.900 For example I'll use a situation with one of my friends.

00:22:49.900 We used to get into arguments because I would explain to them you have to pay attention to your emotions and you have to work through them.

00:22:56.900 That is logical.

00:22:57.900 It's using your emotions but it's being logical.

00:22:59.900 And they were like no, no, no.

00:23:00.900 I don't need to look at my emotions right now.

00:23:02.900 I have things to focus on and so on and so forth.

00:23:04.900 But the unresolved emotions were getting in the way of them sorting out what they needed to sort out.

00:23:11.900 Because they would just lash out every so often and this, that, that, that.

00:23:15.900 Um, I don't know if you look like us.

00:23:18.900 I was going to say like, I kind of, I feel where you're going with it but I disagree.

00:23:23.900 I think their logic and emotion are two completely different things.

00:23:26.900 They are two completely different things.

00:23:28.900 If you're operating from a place of emotion, that is a feeling.

00:23:31.900 It's not thought.

00:23:32.900 It's a feeling.

00:23:33.900 That's emotion.

00:23:34.900 There's emotional intelligence though, isn't there?

00:23:35.900 And that's.

00:23:36.900 Yeah, well that, that's not being questioned.

00:23:38.900 It like, the logic is, logical is what makes sense.

00:23:41.900 If we look at this on paper, what makes sense?

00:23:43.900 This is, I'm going to think this through.

00:23:45.900 And what is logical?

00:23:46.900 A to B.

00:23:47.900 And emotion is just, oh, this is how I feel.

00:23:49.900 Why don't, why don't women ever pick partners that make sense? 1.00

00:23:52.900 Because I think that they lead with their emotions.

00:23:55.900 I think as women, we, we tend to.

00:23:57.900 And I think that when you are interested in somebody, you, your all logic goes out of the window.

00:24:01.900 I just, sorry.

00:24:02.900 I just want to quickly say, I'm going back to your point.

00:24:05.900 Um, maybe I worded what I said wrong.

00:24:07.900 So yes, of course, an emotion is a feeling.

00:24:09.900 However, you can look at that feeling and be like, is it logical to feel this way?

00:24:12.900 Like for instance, someone might say something and I feel like women do this a lot. 1.00

00:24:16.900 Um, men even actually do.

00:24:17.900 People do this a lot.

00:24:18.900 Someone will say something to you and then you'll be like, oh, are you trying to say I'm this?

00:24:21.900 So on and so forth, because you're reacting with a feeling like, um, you might feel ashamed, so on and so forth.

00:24:25.900 But you have to take a step back and logically, logically look.

00:24:28.900 Is this feeling actually, um, rooted in my own insecurities, whatever, whatever.

00:24:33.900 And then if it's illogical to feel that feeling, then that's what I will call emotional logic.

00:24:38.900 Because then you've looked at that emotion with logic.

00:24:40.900 Obviously, there's, um, logic that comes, that's objective logic.

00:24:44.900 Feeling is something, um, personal.

00:24:46.900 And therefore, that's why I separated the two kind of things.

00:24:48.900 So.

00:24:49.900 I get what you're trying to say.

00:24:50.900 You're trying to basically say like, I don't know, if someone comes and knocks your drink on your lap or something.

00:24:55.900 And you'll be like, I want them.

00:24:57.900 Exactly.

00:24:58.900 But if you step back and think about it, you think, oh, it might be an accident.

00:25:01.900 You get me like, let me just leave this person alone.

00:25:03.900 So you're saying sometimes it's about taking responsibility for your own feelings.

00:25:06.900 That it's not necessarily like understanding where that feeling is coming from and tracking yourself in that sense.

00:25:12.900 It's not about taking responsibility for your own feeling per se, because sometimes the way you feel is the other person's fault.

00:25:18.900 However, it's about being the bigger person to your own feelings and be like, you know what, I'm big enough that I can deal with this without projecting it outside.

00:25:26.900 And therefore, I'm going to go about this situation with logic.

00:25:30.900 I'm not disregarding my own feelings.

00:25:32.900 I agree with you, actually.

00:25:33.900 I feel like your feelings don't matter.

00:25:35.900 I mean, as women, we feel one way one day.

00:25:38.900 We're about to get our period.

00:25:39.900 Then we feel another.

00:25:41.900 Then it's like we're in.

00:25:43.900 Even most of us on the couch, we're in for a minute.

00:25:46.900 Then we go back.

00:25:47.900 Then we leave.

00:25:48.900 Then we go.

00:25:49.900 I just, I feel like love is a choice.

00:25:51.900 And I feel like, I feel like you're right.

00:25:54.900 I think that, you know, we should operate with more emotion, but we don't as women. 0.82

00:25:58.900 I feel like a lot of women, a lot of people in general, I should say, they do not have a lot of organic thoughts. 1.00

00:26:06.900 Their thoughts are, like I was saying earlier, you can make anything make sense.

00:26:09.900 And there's a lot of social media input and all these kind of things.

00:26:12.900 So a woman will be like, oh, you know, this is the man I want because of ABCD reasons. 1.00

00:26:17.900 And then they will get too deeply involved in that.

00:26:19.900 And then they won't be able to realize, oh, this is not actually what's good for me.

00:26:22.900 This is just what I've been influenced to think that I want.

00:26:25.900 But actually, it doesn't really work for me.

00:26:27.900 And then they kind of get stuck in that cycle kind of thing.

00:26:29.900 And that's to answer your question.

00:26:30.900 Why do women never choose stable guys? 1.00

00:26:32.900 But then again, if love is a choice, then how are we all just like not choosing and choosing to like love these men?

00:26:40.900 You know what I mean?

00:26:41.900 Yeah.

00:26:42.900 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.

00:26:54.900 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.

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JustPearlyThings - November 01, 2023

Modern Women REVEALED Their True Emotions About Their EX

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