Modern Women REVEALED What They Want from Men in the Dating Market
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss dating in your 20s, what it's like to be a man in the 21st century and how to get the most out of your potential in terms of dating. We discuss what it means to be an average guy, what dating is like for men these days, how to be the best man you can be and what to look out for when it comes to dating.
Transcript
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she's irredeemably unattractive for some reason can pretty much go out and probably attract
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somebody that night you know there's not a problem with guys that's not necessarily the case unless
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they happen to be either you know top whatever percentile in terms of looks or they have social
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states or they're famous you know so a lot of guys and a lot of guys sort of who fall below that
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find it very very hard to break through and then when you add on top of that a sort of a lack of
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social skills or a lack of confidence a lack of ability uh to sort of overcome some of the other
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difficulties they might have you know there are guys who are really really finding it very tough
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and we seem to be coming into this environment now where that's you know the rich get richer the poor
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get poorer in terms of dating so the guys who are at the top who are getting traction they're they're
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getting more and more market share if you like and then the guys at the bottom are getting less and
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less and that's why we've got this issue of guys who are frustrated and there's you know there's sort
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of the insult thing online and everything like that you know um so i think it's pretty tough out there
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for for a lot of average sort of dudes i think yeah um one out of three men are either virgins or
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haven't had sex in the past year oh wow so so in here
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but so it's it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women but it's
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actually the opposite women are much pickier than men i mean think about out of every 10 men how many
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are you really attracted to who is anyone here would you anyone here say that they're not picky
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i'm picky i'm definitely picky i think i've become picky over time yeah
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yeah so then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to
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haven't you heard um women say they won't date short men would any of you date a guy shorter than them
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um no i feel like i'm not quite short as it is so two inches shorter than you any of you doing it
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and i like to wear heels so it's not gonna work out yeah yeah exactly it's not working out
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so i think it is tougher for guys i think looks wise it has got tougher for guys and i think you know
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maybe you could say well we've had it coming because the guys were sort of like for a long time
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mm-hmm the the looks focus was very much on women but i think now very much on guys really you know
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again look through instagram dudes with six packs chiseled you know features all the rest of it and
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the way that social media has has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has meant that
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women are now looking at these apps and they're looking at all these like top guys you know top
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percentile guys are like oh that guy's super hot and then the bloke who who doesn't have those
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attributes doesn't measure up so she's thinking well i want i want this guy at the top so so now
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guys are being encouraged to level up you know which is not all altogether a bad thing right
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because self-improvement's good for everybody you know we should all be doing what we can do to
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improve ourselves every day right but at the same time i think it is it has got tougher for guys
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and then in a society like here like in the uk there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty and
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you know and and they will they they will drop their standards you know yeah yeah
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sad how so do you ever teach guys to like cold approach women yeah absolutely yeah yeah and
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what percent of women are receptive would you say to i mean like you've been doing this forever right
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yeah but there's someone that hasn't um it like he has to go through how many girls to get a number
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it depends usual caveats it depends where it is you know there are certain places like if you're
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in like latin america it's a lot more people are maybe italy as well actually i don't know
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maybe not but you know latin culture is a bit more like open yeah they play the card like you
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know latin lover yeah but i don't know i think it's difficult though like everywhere but but to
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one yeah yeah it is but to answer the question um you have to be prepared to go through a lot of
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rejection you know like if you're an average guy and you're you're going to talk to a woman in a
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coffee shop or you know a bar or bookstore or the grocery store whatever it is you know you're all
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going to go through through rejection um in fact rejection is is the rule and the exception really
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is to get is to get accepted but that's okay you know it's a question of accepting that being okay
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with that being confident and working on yourself every day in order to be the best possible man that
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you can be um but yeah a lot of rejection for sure for people uh go ahead i was going to say well at
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least a man has options i feel like women we are our options are very very limited so even if even if
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a man's getting rejected at least he knows okay fine i can find another woman who is maybe like a woman
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that i'm interested in but for a woman it's very very difficult i feel like the options for men are
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very very not difficult you just go outside it's true but it's like for me it's not going to be a
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guy that i i want but whose fault is that isn't that your own fault because it's definitely not my
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fault i'm not selling for anybody that i'm not attracted to what i don't want absolutely i agree
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we need better options so yeah i think you should so the men the men need to level up but then don't
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you think the women need to level up i mean how many women are leveling i'm leveled
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what percent of women have cookbooks what percent of women are homemakers what percent of women really
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work with kids and can be good mothers but that's a percentage but you just have to find your percentage
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you have to find your percentage you have to find it there's women out there you just have to find
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yeah but is it common but that's for a certain type of man there are some men that like boss babes
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who have businesses, who are grinding and stuff like that.
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So you don't think men like women that are boss babes?
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It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection,
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and you're like, oh, that's cool, but you don't really care.
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But you proved the point of what you said just now, though,
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because what you're saying is that you could walk out theoretically,
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you know, hypothetically, you could walk out and get some guy,
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but you're looking for a certain percentile of guy.
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this group of guys who might hit on me randomly in West London,
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I don't care about them because I want this top tier.
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I mean, that's absolutely everyone's prerogative.
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But at the same time, I think a lot of guys are finding it
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increasingly difficult in this dating marketplace, you know,
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because women are the gatekeepers, basically, you know.
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Like, I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level.
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Yeah, I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
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So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high?
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If we don't, if all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want,
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When you're getting old and there's no more time, when your body clock is giving up
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and you can't have children, you just need to settle.
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So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards?
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Because that would be 30 then, if that's the case.
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Because I need children, do you know what I mean?
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So I think a lot of times, like women, we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is.
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Yeah, but I can't remember the stat off the top of my head,
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I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant,
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but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
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I think the other way around, it's only about 50% if a guy freezes his sperm.
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It's quite, it's, you know, it's like a 50-50 shot basically,
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I mean, you can't say to somebody, well, you know, it's very hard to say to somebody,
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look, you should lower your standards because we are attracted to who we're attracted to,
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Would you guys rather be, like, so at 60, 65, would you rather be by yourself
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Because to me, it's like, I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to than not have children.
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I would feel like my life was, like, a failure if I didn't have kids.
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So I'm asking if you had the two options and you would still pick by yourself.
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No, but I'm saying, so in one scenario at 65, you have a husband you're not attracted to
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and children and a family, and at the other one, you're by yourself.
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So I'm saying, like, as women, we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain level,
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So it's like, but when do we start lowering them if the men aren't meeting them?
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That dog ain't giving you kids, I'll tell you that.
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I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.
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You start, you know, you don't find them attractive first and you really start liking them after.
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Like, I think that women, men have higher beauty standards than women.
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Because it's such a small percentage of men that we're even attracted to.
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But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?
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We had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.
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When do you think we had to level ourselves up?
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I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.
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No, but I don't think we've leveled up. I think women have leveled down.
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But I think, probably, from my perspective, I reckon what happened was that there was that pressure on women.
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To be, you know, you've got to look amazing all the time.
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And blokes, like, back in the sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff, guys didn't really have to make an effort.
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It was like, you could have a beer gun, just like, whatever, football shirt on.
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I saw beach pictures from, like, before the 60s.
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I feel like something switched in the food or something.
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But no, I know what you mean, because I've seen pictures in, like, Brazilian stuff, like, from the 70s.
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No, I'm talking the US, like, California pictures.
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Well, from my perspective, what I've seen, I think that standards for men have got higher in the last sort of 10, 15, 20 years.
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And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past.
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I think now, because of the thirstiness of guys and the fact that, as we've said, I mean, guys are less selected than women.
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I think guys are now more, less picky than they were.
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I think there are many guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred because he thinks that's his only option.
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I think, ultimately, it's finding someone you're compatible with.
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If he's a good guy, if he's a good girl, and it's like, you know, it's compatible to you.
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It's got the same values, same, you know, principles, and you get along well, and you have the same, you know, goals in life.
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I think that's what can be defined as a, you know.
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No, because I know that lots of women, they look at just, you know, how much money my man is making, how much, you know, good life you have.
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And, you know, having someone that, you know, understands my needs, you know, on a mental level.
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Obviously, you know, we need to, you know, do life together and navigate, you know, challenges and everything.
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But ultimately, for me, it's about finding that compatible person, which is very difficult to do because, you know, you're going to have always something, you know, that...
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Some character traits that are not really, you know, men and women are just different.
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And as much as we want to play this card, oh, I want to be like a man.
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So don't you think that asking him to understand your emotional needs is asking a man to be a woman when he's not a woman?
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A little bit, yes, but not in a way like, don't get me wrong.
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But at the same time, I don't want a cold person, you know, in front of me.
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No, you know, I want to have someone that is kind of empathic enough, you know, got a little bit of warmness.
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That doesn't sound too hard to find a warm, a nice guy.
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There's going to be loads of guys in the chat now.
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I mean, I want to, you know, I want to say this, like, there are lots of great guys out there.
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It's just, I find that this particular time that we're living, guys are like finding very difficult in committing on the long term.
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Because, you know, a lot of pressure there is in this society.
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So it's like, I can't provide to my woman because, you know, the bills are going high.
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You know, the society is crazy at the moment, you know, and women wants always more, more, more.
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The last clothes, the last, you know, trend that is there, you know, I need to satisfy that.
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Maybe we can lower a little bit our standards and try trying to be more realistic with what we really, you know, we're going to get.
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It has to be like, you know, mature enough for me to, you know, for me to get deep conversation.
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And I think like when you're 21, you still need to figure out a lot of things.
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I'm not saying that by 38, you're going to have everything.
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So, you know, maybe, maybe up until 45, I would say.
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So he just has to be emotionally available under the age of 45.
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Just, as I said, like for me, the emotional support without being too much a woman is very
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important and to be able to, you know, understand like that.
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Trying to understand us because as we, as women, we're trying to understand men.
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And we're trying to get into that masculine energy, which is quite difficult to do.
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And at the same time, I would love, you know, that the man trying to be a little bit more empathetic
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and trying to understand without becoming a woman.
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Have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotionally?
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I forgot what words you said exactly, but something like that.
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I think there are lots of emotionally unavailable men out there because everything has to do
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with, I think, traumas and things they've been experiencing in life.
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So if a man is emotionally unavailable, it's just because it went maybe through something
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You might feel something, but it's just not capable to just put everything out there.
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I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but I think a lot of people, I mean, again,
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talking with a lot of friends and people, they are all saying men, they don't want to commit.
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You know, they don't want to see the long term.
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But I feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and say, like, what's wrong with me?
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Why is this not working and trying to fix things?
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Because I feel like a lot of men do not know how to give emotional support.
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And when you do question it, they end up arguing with you or backing away.
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Again, like she said, because of traumas and stuff that goes like wrong in their life.
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And then they bring it into the relationship from past experiences or being cheated on.
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I just think he just needs to be able to be a provider.
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Especially if you're going into a relationship.
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So I think a woman should play their role and a man should play their role.
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So if you're able to provide and, you know, pay, sorry, run the household, then it's okay.
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You could be living outside of London, inside of London.
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Yeah, so you need to be able to support me emotionally as well.
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Again, you need to have some sort of attraction there.
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I just feel like, yeah, a lot of guys are just not there anymore.
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They're just very big in their minds elsewhere, to be honest.
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Do you think that women should be virgins the same way that men should be providers?
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Because if we expect them to be traditional providers, shouldn't we be traditional virgins?
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Yeah, but again, I am old school, but you have to know that this is the modern world as well.
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So wouldn't you say the same thing with that provider guy?
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A man that can support me like I can support him.
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I'm talking about generally and stuff that I like to do.
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Like, I love to give them the encouragement and be their cheerleader.
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And being able to see a future with that person and us having the same goals, which means a family, building a house together.
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Because I'm not having a man that doesn't work.
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And I'm not really bothered about, I'm happy to go 50-50 if I have to.
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I mean, you can pay the mortgage and I could pay for the gas and electric.
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Because a lot of men these days, which you don't realize, they need emotional support.
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Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
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But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
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Like they process emotions differently than women?
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Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't like talk to each other
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But I just think they process emotions differently.
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But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women by being like process the emotions.
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I think they need to because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
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So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
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Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later.
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And then what they do, what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll
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So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
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I mean, I didn't say 100% of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities
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and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more likely to do that.
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The other problem is I don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally
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I mean, I think because when I was growing up, it was said, you know, people were starting
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to say, oh, you know, just be open with your feelings, be vulnerable, be emotional with
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But actually the reality out there is that I don't think women really, you know.
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For example, me personally, I would want a guy to open up to me and let me know how they're
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That's why it's like confusing to men because we'll be like, be open with us.
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So if you want to cry every day, put that, put that, take that shit away.
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So it's kind of like what, at what point with each girl is emotionally available enough,
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If I was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that level where we're
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comfortable, to open up to each other, then I don't think it would be an issue for him
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to, if he was to cry to me every night, you know.
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Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.
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I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman though.
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And I feel like realistically, a man's not going to cry to you for a year.
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If it's a man that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
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If it's a woman that's crying for a year, that's a problem.
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I think a month straight, that would be too much for me.
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But being real, to think of a guy in that manner, that's not really sexy, is it?
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If that's your partner, that's your person, you've been together for a long amount of time,
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I can't meet you on day one and you're telling me about your emotional self.
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And that's happened to me before and I was put off and I didn't want to speak to him.
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You can't tell me on day one what's going on emotionally because I'm not even telling you and I'm the woman.
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See, I feel like this is why guys don't want to open up.
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As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
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