JustPearlyThings - July 16, 2023


Modern Women Shares Experience In Relationship And BREAK-UPS

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Classification of Stripper and Only Fans The TRUTH About Women Before FEMINISM

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

187.13

Word count

1,988

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

5

sentences flagged

Toxicity

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss toxic relationships, toxic men, toxic women, and toxic children. We discuss how toxic relationships affect us and why we stay in toxic relationships. We also discuss the dangers of being in a toxic relationship and how to deal with toxic partners.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 do you think like women always say they don't want toxic men but is there something about us
00:00:05.040 that maybe we like the games yes no personally i don't even personally i don't like the games
00:00:12.600 i don't like yeah i don't i feel like there's a lot of like um childish stuff that goes with
00:00:18.180 toxicity which i don't like okay i think it depends on so i don't think you like the toxicity i think
00:00:24.580 you like the person and maybe you do like the toxicity because you like that person like it's
00:00:28.840 a part of them but i just feel like you're more attractive person so you take that you know how
00:00:34.320 like it's like for better for worse yeah you kind of take that from that do you get what i'm saying
00:00:38.460 i get what you're saying but for better for worse i'm not
00:00:41.800 you know we can do better for ourselves it depends on how much you want for yourself like if you say
00:00:52.320 do you know what i want better i have this standard up here like for me right now i'm like i'm there's
00:00:56.720 a standard i want there's like a level of commitment and um generosity and attitude and
00:01:05.260 behavior i want from a person so it's like i hold that so sacred i feel like it depends on
00:01:09.660 how you hold yourself so you can say no depending on like even if you really love that person it's like
00:01:16.080 you want yourself more i think it's also the fact that you expect the best out of your partner
00:01:21.220 like you see them in such a highlight that you don't expect them to treat you poorly until it
00:01:26.040 happens and you're like well they've never done this before so they won't do it again 0.98
00:01:29.500 yeah so again and you're like what's going on here and you keep letting them do it and you're like damn 0.66
00:01:35.360 okay how are you gonna change are you gonna do something different but i love them so much because
00:01:40.220 we stuck through all of this garbage when we don't need to so that's why love is blind
00:01:45.500 don't get me started wait so so question when how long were you in the relationship before you
00:01:52.920 realized it was toxic because for me it didn't start out that way did it start out that way for you
00:01:57.480 guys they put on like a an act i feel like or maybe they have this um ideology they want to be
00:02:05.820 and i think that's what it was in my scenario they had this ideology of who they want to be and they
00:02:10.720 acted like that i believed it more for me and i believed it and then obviously you get when you
00:02:19.360 get deep into a relationship you even when you're around that person a lot you get to see a lot of
00:02:24.160 their traits good or bad um you get to see a lot of their behavior their attitudes how they react to
00:02:29.340 situations how they handle situations like when you have an argument which is okay in a relationship
00:02:33.880 arguments are toxic i think it's just how you handle that argument um how they handle situations and
00:02:39.980 then you're like oh that's not you that's not how you portrayed yourself to be and they like they
00:02:44.880 put up this image so you're like oh so why when the toxic stuff happens why don't we leave right away
00:02:50.780 it comes from experience because as a teenager i was dumb enough to stick around i'm just like
00:03:08.240 that's my map i'm going to stick the side i was like you don't need to and after i realized my 0.96
00:03:13.960 worth after i realized like that's it bitch i'm amazing 1.00
00:03:16.980 why is this bitch cheating on me with shirley like 1.00
00:03:21.340 oh my gosh it is never it is never the hot girl i was like i'm still worrying about ugly girl 1.00
00:03:28.200 i think it's like also attachment issues like you're kind of attached to what you have like
00:03:43.360 for me in my experience i can speak on it um for example like for the first maybe a month
00:03:48.920 it was great and it was locked this is lockdown lockdown so it's like when covid started see
00:03:54.500 that's not the time to have a relationship yeah that's not the time well everybody had an
00:03:58.940 accidental relationship like six talking stages at once exactly you know what i wish i had you
00:04:04.260 there wait wait what did you say six talking you're gonna tell me that people did not talk to several
00:04:09.000 people during the pandemic you're lying because you can't you can't go out you can't go out
00:04:14.060 i think it's attachment as well like i was in my relationship like lockdown like prior to right
00:04:31.780 before lockdown but then lockdown happened so i'm stuck in that so you're in a bubble as well
00:04:36.280 so it was like oh my god so i feel like you get this facade and then you're kind of for example
00:04:42.520 i low-key have attachment issues high key on the low-key
00:04:45.700 that was like a big thing like so it's like i'm like i'll really stick like ride you through that
00:04:54.520 and then it's like you don't really see a lot of things when you're kind of in this bubble you're
00:04:59.380 like you put them on this pedestal like you're so attracted to them like the problem is having
00:05:04.660 no actually actually question is is the toxic relationship that you were in the best sex you've
00:05:14.380 ever had yeah no no no but yeah absolutely not absolutely not yeah i think it's toxic you like
00:05:25.840 do you ever hear like what you shouldn't have is what is the best thing like that you'll ever enjoy
00:05:31.260 but what you should do for yourself that's actually what's actually best for you isn't
00:05:36.360 it's like what's best for you is always the hardest thing to do for you yourself because it's like you
00:05:56.640 really need to go through the hardest stuff you need to pull that discipline self like self
00:06:00.980 discipline the problem is we get comfortable yeah come be out of your comfort zone all of that
00:06:06.600 in order to really do what's best for you like it's never ever going to be easy i think we always think 0.84
00:06:10.440 it is like yeah we can have easy sex and great sex with a guy that's toxic but in five years or in
00:06:16.020 actually let me give you six months or two weeks
00:06:18.780 it's gonna it's gonna affect your life it affects your mentality it affects how you have future
00:06:28.200 relationships whether that's a relationship with your future husband um or actually your partner
00:06:32.100 like girl or boy or your friendships it affects how you act in that because that's where trust issues
00:06:37.740 stems from a lot of issues do stem from that it could be from your family that other issues
00:06:41.920 that is how it starts so yeah so question for the come from good relationships good homing good
00:06:47.520 everything and they can get in a toxic relationship and they can mess them up for the toxic relationship
00:06:52.560 you were in how long were you in it okay two months three four months wow that that okay two months
00:07:01.520 it depends on which one i'm talking about but we're gonna talk about the worst one yeah it took like
00:07:07.540 two years two years but it was codependency two years three months happy three months so oh so you
00:07:19.000 guys you get the basketball girls leave as soon as you switch up i'm not giving you another chance 0.78
00:07:26.500 switch up on me i'm like bye i got to a point where he messed up and then i think he tried to check me
00:07:31.420 about that because he felt so paranoid around me like look like his phone or something and then i was
00:07:35.360 like i was like you're actually being a joke i was like you're probably about me i was like me
00:07:42.320 after you messed up i was like no you're actually a joke like i checked him out i was like no i'm
00:07:48.260 actually too good for this i think for me to be fair like for that two-year relationship that was when i
00:07:52.880 was 18 yeah i was like 18 19 so you know like this was my first time in college being with somebody 0.98
00:07:58.880 like super close all the time like because you know my parents were on my ass like they're not 0.97
00:08:02.900 gonna let no boy come into the house oh yeah so it was like that codependency kicked in very fast 0.99
00:08:08.520 because i was around him all the time and i just let shit slide and he let shit slide on my end too 0.93
00:08:13.120 you're bad for him on that but yeah he definitely did me worse than i did him i'm not gonna lie to you 0.97
00:08:17.760 but i grew from that relationship and i figured out how to get my shit together and realized like 0.72
00:08:23.440 i definitely deserve way better than so then did you never have a toxic relationship again
00:08:27.620 since then no actually okay so for the most part they were healthy
00:08:32.140 off from that i feel like that's where we actually need to play off like we need to accept our part in
00:08:37.840 this stuff i we can talk about toxic men all we like yeah we were toxic too okay okay cool i had a
00:08:44.120 man i ain't gonna lie i definitely gone through my man's phone like like wait wait wait out of
00:08:48.860 everyone here how many have gone through a guy's phone before no never i haven't since then not my
00:08:54.860 phone so basically with my guy called three months before months into it i think there was a time i was
00:09:01.000 like he was acting so jealous and i was like why are you acting so jealous like there must be something
00:09:06.420 you want to hide so for the first time in my whole life in my whole relationship life i went through
00:09:12.840 his laptop okay what'd you find so you know how max and iphone syncs up
00:09:18.740 so i'm confident i'm like oh this is your ex ting this is your ex i'm like what's going on here i'm
00:09:25.460 like why are we seeing facetime calls and you're in a relationship with me why am i seeing text messages
00:09:29.700 i'm like no way this is crazy so i also feel like we do play our plot like essentially like it takes
00:09:36.320 two i always believe that i would never blame the guy for everything that's happened in our
00:09:40.700 relationship the yeah messy calls me mentally right because i feel like i'm so enabled well and we and
00:09:46.600 we make a choice to stay so you can't you can't say yeah to make it work if you after till the point
00:09:52.740 where you've got paranoid environment i was like no at this when you're in love you really forget what
00:09:57.060 logic is yeah like your emotions really start to believe the bell therapists actually literally will
00:10:04.040 not take certain like clients that are in love because your brain chemistry is so different when
00:10:09.700 you're in that state of like love and infatuation so like and therapists also say like cheating like
00:10:15.660 goes two ways like you can enable that behavior that brings someone to that level where they cheat on
00:10:22.280 you you know they think it's okay like if we allow them to think it's okay it's like when you're a
00:10:26.960 mom like if you allow your child to fix certain behaviors okay they're going to carry on doing it 0.99
00:10:31.160 if you don't check your child up their ass like they're going to be thinking it's okay like you 1.00
00:10:35.100 should have ripped your son's ass and maybe he would have been better 1.00
00:10:36.920 you 1.00