JustPearlyThings - March 15, 2023


Modern Women Speak on What They Want In A Man


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

187.21033

Word count

2,262

Sentence count

246

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what we would like in a man and what we don't want in a guy. We also talk about our dealbreakers and deal breakers when it comes to a relationship. We hope this episode gives you some insight into what you can look out for in a potential partner and what you should be looking out for.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So what's not in the shopping bag?
00:00:01.800 What are you willing to give up?
00:00:04.180 Because if he's a good looking guy,
00:00:06.360 that makes your like fanny flutter,
00:00:07.680 a lot of women are gonna want him. 1.00
00:00:09.520 Can I say what I want in my basket?
00:00:11.800 And then everything else can't be in my basket.
00:00:13.800 Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
00:00:15.760 I think honesty is important.
00:00:17.500 I think communication is key.
00:00:22.480 I think I'm at a point in my life now
00:00:24.400 where I need consistency to feel safe and secure.
00:00:29.180 And obviously that physical attraction, have fun.
00:00:32.240 What I don't want is somebody dictating to me,
00:00:35.100 telling me what I can and can't do.
00:00:37.800 Abusive, whichever way, shape or form that may look.
00:00:42.540 So yeah, I think-
00:00:43.380 That's a shopping trolley, that ain't even a basket. 0.99
00:00:45.880 She's done for having nothing in the basket
00:00:48.500 to have a whole trolley.
00:00:50.060 They're the things that I would get rid of.
00:00:51.560 Yeah, so I think, you know, that's me.
00:00:57.120 What about you guys?
00:00:58.680 What would you guys want in a guy?
00:01:01.260 I have everything I want now.
00:01:03.020 Awwww! 1.00
00:01:05.020 Shout out to your boyfriend. 0.96
00:01:06.300 Not to me cringe, but I can't be like,
00:01:08.300 well, I want this because that implies I don't have it.
00:01:10.060 No, he looks after me, he leaves me,
00:01:13.840 does everything I need, thankfully.
00:01:16.360 Is he more than five years older than you?
00:01:18.960 Yeah, well, he's five years older than me.
00:01:20.800 See, that was a good guess, wasn't it?
00:01:26.300 What would I want?
00:01:28.420 You know, I used to be big on saying,
00:01:30.420 I want communication.
00:01:32.300 Anybody that asked me what I wanted,
00:01:34.180 I'd always be like, I'm the best communicator in the world,
00:01:36.680 I need someone to communicate just as well as me.
00:01:39.720 But you realise that communication comes in different forms
00:01:42.000 and it's always not going to be compatible with you.
00:01:43.500 So even when someone is, you'd think they wouldn't be.
00:01:45.600 You're asking a man to be a woman. 1.00
00:01:47.220 Telling you to tell me what you want,
00:01:50.940 it's not asking you to be a woman,
00:01:52.220 I'm just telling you so that you don't get upset
00:01:53.880 if I don't do the stuff you want me to do.
00:01:55.600 How many men have told you to shut up and be quiet?
00:01:58.760 Nobody, and I hope no one.
00:02:00.760 Okay, yeah, I'm lucky.
00:02:02.920 Yeah, I am.
00:02:03.760 I'm not going to stand someone listening to shut up.
00:02:07.120 But a lot of time, if men tell us
00:02:09.520 what they really want, we leave.
00:02:11.160 Because it's usually, 0.73
00:02:12.400 have sex with multiple people and you stay monogamous.
00:02:15.300 So when we get told that,
00:02:17.220 that's their form of honest communication
00:02:19.180 and we're just like, all right, I'm going.
00:02:21.940 That's probably why they're not honest with us.
00:02:24.360 Probably, yeah.
00:02:25.120 She wants a good communicator. 1.00
00:02:26.440 She's got a shopping trolley.
00:02:27.580 I want to find out what everybody else wants.
00:02:29.960 Okay, so good communicator.
00:02:31.120 What else?
00:02:32.600 Someone that I find attractive.
00:02:36.340 Okay, is there a height requirement for that?
00:02:39.120 You're not that tall, I don't think.
00:02:41.000 Why are you calling me out like that?
00:02:41.840 No, I'm 5'3".
00:02:43.820 No, I don't have a height requirement.
00:02:45.100 You can be as tall as you like.
00:02:46.620 Five foot?
00:02:47.540 Five foot?
00:02:48.440 Five foot, I don't think I'd go for some other shopping.
00:02:50.440 So there's a height requirement.
00:02:52.600 Yeah, just not shorter than me.
00:02:53.680 Sorry, yes, no.
00:02:54.720 A height requirement, but just someone that's not shorter than me.
00:02:57.180 Okay, so 5'3".
00:02:58.180 Just because I feel like I'd be more attracted to someone that was taller than me, then shorter than me.
00:03:00.720 Same height is good?
00:03:01.720 Same height can be, yeah, it can be all right.
00:03:04.040 We can try and make it work.
00:03:05.040 But you'd prefer like 5'5", at least?
00:03:06.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:07.040 Okay, go ahead.
00:03:08.040 So tall.
00:03:09.040 So tall, 5'5", and up, and good communicator.
00:03:11.500 Yeah, someone that's...
00:03:13.040 That's a funny story put up.
00:03:15.040 Someone that I'd prefer, if I was to look for anybody, and from the first time I even stepped my foot into this dating world.
00:03:22.500 Someone that's been in a previous relationship, but however, I don't mean it in a way where like you're still talking to them, but I mean it in a way where like, you know what is required in a relationship.
00:03:36.960 You know how to go about someone, a significant other, and how to talk to them, how to look after them, and I think, yeah, so I think that's kind of important to me.
00:03:44.960 Not a deal breaker, but I would prefer that.
00:03:46.960 Okay, so 5'5", and taller.
00:03:48.960 Has been in a relationship, good communicator.
00:03:50.960 Anything else?
00:03:51.960 Maybe something I'm not allowed to say on camera.
00:03:55.960 I'm joking.
00:03:56.960 I'm joking.
00:03:57.960 But yeah, that's all I got for the top of my head though.
00:04:01.960 Okay.
00:04:02.960 What about you?
00:04:03.960 So, I would say I'd like someone to be honest, and even if that is brutally honest, I prefer that.
00:04:10.960 Someone that is considerate.
00:04:14.960 Someone that I'm attracted to, first of all.
00:04:18.960 That's my number one, and then the rest kind of follows.
00:04:21.960 I'm a bit more like, I don't mind relaxing some of my wants if the person is a decent person.
00:04:30.960 If he's got drive, if he likes to enjoy life, if he sees fun in being alive, appreciates being alive.
00:04:41.960 Things can change.
00:04:43.960 I'm not so black and white on things.
00:04:46.960 I have dated, okay, I was young, but I've dated someone that was shorter than me before.
00:04:52.960 Actually, I've only had two relationships, and both weren't tall.
00:04:59.960 So, it's not like I'm looking for...
00:05:00.960 Did you break up with them, or did they break up with you?
00:05:03.960 They both broke up with me.
00:05:05.960 Okay.
00:05:06.960 So, what else? Anything else?
00:05:09.960 Obviously, like I said earlier, they come back when they realise the grass isn't greener.
00:05:19.960 But, yeah.
00:05:20.960 Would you take them back if they came back?
00:05:22.960 Well, I did with one particular one. Not anymore, though.
00:05:26.960 That option's not even there anyway, but not anymore.
00:05:30.960 Can I ask why they broke up with you?
00:05:33.960 Is it you, or is it them?
00:05:36.960 I would say it could be...
00:05:40.960 So, the first person wanted, like I said earlier, wanted to have fun.
00:05:44.960 Went off, thought he could come back.
00:05:47.960 And I didn't let him come back, and that really upset him.
00:05:51.960 Second person, he did keep coming back, to be honest.
00:05:56.960 It's a long story.
00:05:57.960 We were dating since, like, I was 14.
00:06:00.960 14 to 18, broke up, dated the other guy.
00:06:05.960 And then got back with him after.
00:06:07.960 And we were dating for about 12 years, with maybe a year gap in between that.
00:06:13.960 Wow, you were with him for 12 years?
00:06:15.960 Yeah, well, 13 years with a year gap in between, yeah.
00:06:19.960 Wow.
00:06:20.960 Why didn't you all get married? 0.93
00:06:22.960 That was the idea.
00:06:23.960 Yeah.
00:06:24.960 That was the idea.
00:06:25.960 It's longer than most marriages.
00:06:27.960 Yeah, it was the idea.
00:06:28.960 We lived as, you know, as you would.
00:06:30.960 But, you know, things change.
00:06:32.960 People change.
00:06:33.960 And I think sometimes, when someone's in an environment where they're with a lot of younger
00:06:40.960 people, they can change what they want.
00:06:42.960 So, initially, when we first dated, he would, he still would hold all the doors and everything.
00:06:48.960 He's very gentlemanly, and he's a very nice person.
00:06:51.960 But he would not like it if I attempted to pay for something.
00:06:56.960 He had to pay for things.
00:06:58.960 Like, he learnt to drive because he didn't like me driving him around.
00:07:01.960 He was saying...
00:07:02.960 That sounds amazing.
00:07:03.960 He was like, I don't feel manly.
00:07:05.960 Yeah.
00:07:06.960 Yeah.
00:07:07.960 But at the end, when we broke up, one of the reasons he gave is because I don't take
00:07:11.960 him out on dates and pay for things.
00:07:13.960 But he's in an environment where he hangs around with younger people.
00:07:16.960 And I think he may have got a bit messed up along the way.
00:07:21.960 He had it right in the beginning, you know.
00:07:23.960 He was very traditional.
00:07:24.960 And I like that about him.
00:07:26.960 He was a good person.
00:07:27.960 He treated his mum.
00:07:28.960 That's another thing.
00:07:29.960 They have to treat their mum well.
00:07:30.960 And I think that that speaks volumes.
00:07:33.960 Yeah.
00:07:34.960 Times change.
00:07:36.960 People grow out of each other.
00:07:39.960 So he...
00:07:40.960 Because this just doesn't make sense.
00:07:42.960 So he hung around younger people and then he was mad you didn't pay for things?
00:07:45.960 So he's a musician.
00:07:46.960 Okay.
00:07:47.960 And I think when other people say, oh, my girlfriend bought me this.
00:07:51.960 My girlfriend done this and took me this place. 1.00
00:07:53.960 Oh.
00:07:54.960 And then it made him think, oh, why isn't she doing that?
00:07:56.960 But he would have been angry if I'd done that originally.
00:07:59.960 Do you think there was other ways maybe you could have done something that wasn't money
00:08:03.960 that he would have appreciated?
00:08:04.960 Oh, yeah, I did.
00:08:05.960 Yeah, I did.
00:08:06.960 Yeah, I did.
00:08:07.960 And he just didn't take that into account?
00:08:08.960 No.
00:08:09.960 I feel like...
00:08:10.960 Maybe not.
00:08:11.960 Obviously not.
00:08:12.960 Yeah.
00:08:13.960 That kind of sounds like he was doing stuff.
00:08:15.960 Not...
00:08:16.960 More so to have the authority.
00:08:17.960 Not in a bad way.
00:08:18.960 But to have the authority be like, yeah, I can look after you.
00:08:22.960 But kind of just dismiss the fact that he wanted to be looked after too.
00:08:25.960 So maybe that's why he came back and went, cool, like, you don't look after me.
00:08:28.960 But like, for him, his only, like, his only intention was to look after you.
00:08:33.960 Well, I don't think...
00:08:34.960 I don't know.
00:08:35.960 Based on what I'm hearing, that's what it sounds like.
00:08:37.960 But, yeah.
00:08:38.960 Based on what I'm hearing, he got easily influenced by his peers.
00:08:42.960 And that's what it was.
00:08:43.960 He spent more time with his younger peers listening to them.
00:08:47.960 And sometimes it became hard.
00:08:48.960 Peer pressure can come at any age.
00:08:50.960 Yeah, I think so.
00:08:51.960 Especially as youths that were together so young.
00:08:53.960 And he was so...
00:08:54.960 It seems like he was mature when he was young.
00:08:58.960 And then he spent most of his youth being mature.
00:09:00.960 And then when he had the chance to be young again and be a teenager,
00:09:04.960 because he'd lost all his teenage years, he just went for it because he was surrounded by that.
00:09:08.960 I think if he wasn't a musician, it would have been different.
00:09:10.960 But being a musician, that's hard.
00:09:13.960 Yeah.
00:09:14.960 I made him be a musician as well.
00:09:17.960 Oh, right.
00:09:18.960 I was like, do it.
00:09:19.960 Follow your...
00:09:20.960 Yeah, do it.
00:09:21.960 It's fine.
00:09:22.960 I can, you know, take care of things for a little while.
00:09:25.960 That's such a long relationship.
00:09:26.960 It just sounds like such a...
00:09:28.960 It's seemingly smaller thing to end such a long relationship.
00:09:32.960 Oh, no.
00:09:33.960 There was many things that he'd done at the end that were not good.
00:09:37.960 But I don't really want...
00:09:38.960 He's a good person.
00:09:39.960 I've got nothing bad to say about him.
00:09:40.960 But he behaved badly for a little while.
00:09:43.960 For like six months of our relationship.
00:09:46.960 He behaved very badly.
00:09:48.960 And then he's now back to being normal and everything, you know, fine.
00:09:52.960 But yeah, he was a different person for a while.
00:09:54.960 I've got fingers crossed for you.
00:09:55.960 Yeah.
00:09:56.960 No, no, no, no.
00:09:57.960 Absolutely not.
00:09:58.960 I'm rooting for it a little bit.
00:09:59.960 No, no.
00:10:00.960 Absolutely not.
00:10:01.960 He wasn't mature.
00:10:02.960 No, no.
00:10:03.960 How old is he now?
00:10:04.960 He's 40.
00:10:05.960 When he...
00:10:06.960 So it was...
00:10:07.960 When he was turning...
00:10:08.960 Is he with anyone?
00:10:09.960 I don't know.
00:10:10.960 He would...
00:10:11.960 I don't think he would ever tell me.
00:10:12.960 That's the thing.
00:10:13.960 I don't think he would.
00:10:14.960 You didn't creep?
00:10:15.960 No.
00:10:16.960 You didn't check his page?
00:10:17.960 No, I haven't recently.
00:10:18.960 Obviously, when we first broke up, I looked.
00:10:21.960 Would it make you feel...
00:10:22.960 We're still on...
00:10:23.960 We're still friends on everything.
00:10:24.960 We haven't done that.
00:10:25.960 Would it make you feel a type of way if he told you he was talking to someone else right now?
00:10:28.960 No, not at all.
00:10:29.960 I'm completely healed.
00:10:30.960 Like literally, when he moved out, I came to terms with it pretty quick.
00:10:35.960 And I am one of those people that take things as a lesson and I move on from it.
00:10:40.960 So I'm like, I could see...
00:10:42.960 So he's done some really bad things at the end, but he's a good person and I can see the part I played in that.
00:10:48.960 So I can see how my behaviour made him behave that way.
00:10:52.960 So I think, you know, sometimes it can be easy to stop doing the things that you do for each other and not keeping things alive, you know.
00:11:02.960 And I'm not saying in the bedroom.
00:11:04.960 I'm saying in general, day to day.
00:11:07.960 Yeah.
00:11:09.960 So I just think that good people, bad situation, things went upside down and that's fine.
00:11:16.960 And actually, I think I had my best year of my life since we split up funny enough.
00:11:22.960 Not because he's a bad person.
00:11:24.960 It's just because I can be me.
00:11:26.960 I can do what I want to do.
00:11:27.960 I don't have to consider a partner's feelings for a little while.
00:11:31.960 I'm not the type of person to just move from person to person.
00:11:35.960 Yeah.
00:11:36.960 So I'm just good being me for a little while.
00:11:39.960 I'm still kind of rooting for it.
00:11:41.960 No, no, no, no.
00:11:42.960 Don't.
00:11:43.960 Don't.
00:11:44.960 No.
00:11:45.960 What about you two?
00:11:46.960 What do you guys look for in a guy?
00:11:48.960 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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