JustPearlyThings - March 15, 2023


Modern Women Speak on What They Want In A Man

Topics
height preference peer pressure
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
The Uncomfortable Truth About Marriage For Women Female Dating Coaches are FRAUDS!!!

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

187.21

Word count

2,262

Sentence count

284

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what we would like in a man and what we don't want in a guy. We also talk about our dealbreakers and deal breakers when it comes to a relationship. We hope this episode gives you some insight into what you can look out for in a potential partner and what you should be looking out for.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So what's not in the shopping bag?
00:00:01.800 What are you willing to give up?
00:00:04.180 Because if he's a good looking guy,
00:00:06.360 that makes your like fanny flutter,
00:00:07.680 a lot of women are gonna want him. 1.00
00:00:09.520 Can I say what I want in my basket?
00:00:11.800 And then everything else can't be in my basket.
00:00:13.800 Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
00:00:15.760 I think honesty is important.
00:00:17.500 I think communication is key.
00:00:22.480 I think I'm at a point in my life now
00:00:24.400 where I need consistency to feel safe and secure.
00:00:29.180 And obviously that physical attraction, have fun.
00:00:32.240 What I don't want is somebody dictating to me,
00:00:35.100 telling me what I can and can't do.
00:00:37.800 Abusive, whichever way, shape or form that may look.
00:00:42.540 So yeah, I think-
00:00:43.380 That's a shopping trolley, that ain't even a basket. 0.99
00:00:45.880 She's done for having nothing in the basket
00:00:48.500 to have a whole trolley.
00:00:50.060 They're the things that I would get rid of.
00:00:51.560 Yeah, so I think, you know, that's me.
00:00:57.120 What about you guys?
00:00:58.680 What would you guys want in a guy?
00:01:01.260 I have everything I want now.
00:01:03.020 Awwww! 1.00
00:01:05.020 Shout out to your boyfriend. 0.96
00:01:06.300 Not to me cringe, but I can't be like,
00:01:08.300 well, I want this because that implies I don't have it.
00:01:10.060 No, he looks after me, he leaves me,
00:01:13.840 does everything I need, thankfully.
00:01:16.360 Is he more than five years older than you?
00:01:18.960 Yeah, well, he's five years older than me.
00:01:20.800 See, that was a good guess, wasn't it?
00:01:26.300 What would I want?
00:01:28.420 You know, I used to be big on saying,
00:01:30.420 I want communication.
00:01:32.300 Anybody that asked me what I wanted,
00:01:34.180 I'd always be like, I'm the best communicator in the world,
00:01:36.680 I need someone to communicate just as well as me.
00:01:39.720 But you realise that communication comes in different forms
00:01:42.000 and it's always not going to be compatible with you.
00:01:43.500 So even when someone is, you'd think they wouldn't be.
00:01:45.600 You're asking a man to be a woman. 1.00
00:01:47.220 Telling you to tell me what you want,
00:01:50.940 it's not asking you to be a woman,
00:01:52.220 I'm just telling you so that you don't get upset
00:01:53.880 if I don't do the stuff you want me to do.
00:01:55.600 How many men have told you to shut up and be quiet?
00:01:58.760 Nobody, and I hope no one.
00:02:00.760 Okay, yeah, I'm lucky.
00:02:02.920 Yeah, I am.
00:02:03.760 I'm not going to stand someone listening to shut up.
00:02:07.120 But a lot of time, if men tell us
00:02:09.520 what they really want, we leave.
00:02:11.160 Because it's usually, 0.73
00:02:12.400 have sex with multiple people and you stay monogamous.
00:02:15.300 So when we get told that,
00:02:17.220 that's their form of honest communication
00:02:19.180 and we're just like, all right, I'm going.
00:02:21.940 That's probably why they're not honest with us.
00:02:24.360 Probably, yeah.
00:02:25.120 She wants a good communicator. 1.00
00:02:26.440 She's got a shopping trolley.
00:02:27.580 I want to find out what everybody else wants.
00:02:29.960 Okay, so good communicator.
00:02:31.120 What else?
00:02:32.600 Someone that I find attractive.
00:02:36.340 Okay, is there a height requirement for that?
00:02:39.120 You're not that tall, I don't think.
00:02:41.000 Why are you calling me out like that?
00:02:41.840 No, I'm 5'3".
00:02:43.820 No, I don't have a height requirement.
00:02:45.100 You can be as tall as you like.
00:02:46.620 Five foot?
00:02:47.540 Five foot?
00:02:48.440 Five foot, I don't think I'd go for some other shopping.
00:02:50.440 So there's a height requirement.
00:02:52.600 Yeah, just not shorter than me.
00:02:53.680 Sorry, yes, no.
00:02:54.720 A height requirement, but just someone that's not shorter than me.
00:02:57.180 Okay, so 5'3".
00:02:58.180 Just because I feel like I'd be more attracted to someone that was taller than me, then shorter than me.
00:03:00.720 Same height is good?
00:03:01.720 Same height can be, yeah, it can be all right.
00:03:04.040 We can try and make it work.
00:03:05.040 But you'd prefer like 5'5", at least?
00:03:06.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:07.040 Okay, go ahead.
00:03:08.040 So tall.
00:03:09.040 So tall, 5'5", and up, and good communicator.
00:03:11.500 Yeah, someone that's...
00:03:13.040 That's a funny story put up.
00:03:15.040 Someone that I'd prefer, if I was to look for anybody, and from the first time I even stepped my foot into this dating world.
00:03:22.500 Someone that's been in a previous relationship, but however, I don't mean it in a way where like you're still talking to them, but I mean it in a way where like, you know what is required in a relationship.
00:03:36.960 You know how to go about someone, a significant other, and how to talk to them, how to look after them, and I think, yeah, so I think that's kind of important to me.
00:03:44.960 Not a deal breaker, but I would prefer that.
00:03:46.960 Okay, so 5'5", and taller.
00:03:48.960 Has been in a relationship, good communicator.
00:03:50.960 Anything else?
00:03:51.960 Maybe something I'm not allowed to say on camera.
00:03:55.960 I'm joking.
00:03:56.960 I'm joking.
00:03:57.960 But yeah, that's all I got for the top of my head though.
00:04:01.960 Okay.
00:04:02.960 What about you?
00:04:03.960 So, I would say I'd like someone to be honest, and even if that is brutally honest, I prefer that.
00:04:10.960 Someone that is considerate.
00:04:14.960 Someone that I'm attracted to, first of all.
00:04:18.960 That's my number one, and then the rest kind of follows.
00:04:21.960 I'm a bit more like, I don't mind relaxing some of my wants if the person is a decent person.
00:04:30.960 If he's got drive, if he likes to enjoy life, if he sees fun in being alive, appreciates being alive.
00:04:41.960 Things can change.
00:04:43.960 I'm not so black and white on things.
00:04:46.960 I have dated, okay, I was young, but I've dated someone that was shorter than me before.
00:04:52.960 Actually, I've only had two relationships, and both weren't tall.
00:04:59.960 So, it's not like I'm looking for...
00:05:00.960 Did you break up with them, or did they break up with you?
00:05:03.960 They both broke up with me.
00:05:05.960 Okay.
00:05:06.960 So, what else? Anything else?
00:05:09.960 Obviously, like I said earlier, they come back when they realise the grass isn't greener.
00:05:19.960 But, yeah.
00:05:20.960 Would you take them back if they came back?
00:05:22.960 Well, I did with one particular one. Not anymore, though.
00:05:26.960 That option's not even there anyway, but not anymore.
00:05:30.960 Can I ask why they broke up with you?
00:05:33.960 Is it you, or is it them?
00:05:36.960 I would say it could be...
00:05:40.960 So, the first person wanted, like I said earlier, wanted to have fun.
00:05:44.960 Went off, thought he could come back.
00:05:47.960 And I didn't let him come back, and that really upset him.
00:05:51.960 Second person, he did keep coming back, to be honest.
00:05:56.960 It's a long story.
00:05:57.960 We were dating since, like, I was 14.
00:06:00.960 14 to 18, broke up, dated the other guy.
00:06:05.960 And then got back with him after.
00:06:07.960 And we were dating for about 12 years, with maybe a year gap in between that.
00:06:13.960 Wow, you were with him for 12 years?
00:06:15.960 Yeah, well, 13 years with a year gap in between, yeah.
00:06:19.960 Wow.
00:06:20.960 Why didn't you all get married? 0.93
00:06:22.960 That was the idea.
00:06:23.960 Yeah.
00:06:24.960 That was the idea.
00:06:25.960 It's longer than most marriages.
00:06:27.960 Yeah, it was the idea.
00:06:28.960 We lived as, you know, as you would.
00:06:30.960 But, you know, things change.
00:06:32.960 People change.
00:06:33.960 And I think sometimes, when someone's in an environment where they're with a lot of younger
00:06:40.960 people, they can change what they want.
00:06:42.960 So, initially, when we first dated, he would, he still would hold all the doors and everything.
00:06:48.960 He's very gentlemanly, and he's a very nice person.
00:06:51.960 But he would not like it if I attempted to pay for something.
00:06:56.960 He had to pay for things.
00:06:58.960 Like, he learnt to drive because he didn't like me driving him around.
00:07:01.960 He was saying...
00:07:02.960 That sounds amazing.
00:07:03.960 He was like, I don't feel manly.
00:07:05.960 Yeah.
00:07:06.960 Yeah.
00:07:07.960 But at the end, when we broke up, one of the reasons he gave is because I don't take
00:07:11.960 him out on dates and pay for things.
00:07:13.960 But he's in an environment where he hangs around with younger people.
00:07:16.960 And I think he may have got a bit messed up along the way.
00:07:21.960 He had it right in the beginning, you know.
00:07:23.960 He was very traditional.
00:07:24.960 And I like that about him.
00:07:26.960 He was a good person.
00:07:27.960 He treated his mum.
00:07:28.960 That's another thing.
00:07:29.960 They have to treat their mum well.
00:07:30.960 And I think that that speaks volumes.
00:07:33.960 Yeah.
00:07:34.960 Times change.
00:07:36.960 People grow out of each other.
00:07:39.960 So he...
00:07:40.960 Because this just doesn't make sense.
00:07:42.960 So he hung around younger people and then he was mad you didn't pay for things?
00:07:45.960 So he's a musician.
00:07:46.960 Okay.
00:07:47.960 And I think when other people say, oh, my girlfriend bought me this.
00:07:51.960 My girlfriend done this and took me this place. 1.00
00:07:53.960 Oh.
00:07:54.960 And then it made him think, oh, why isn't she doing that?
00:07:56.960 But he would have been angry if I'd done that originally.
00:07:59.960 Do you think there was other ways maybe you could have done something that wasn't money
00:08:03.960 that he would have appreciated?
00:08:04.960 Oh, yeah, I did.
00:08:05.960 Yeah, I did.
00:08:06.960 Yeah, I did.
00:08:07.960 And he just didn't take that into account?
00:08:08.960 No.
00:08:09.960 I feel like...
00:08:10.960 Maybe not.
00:08:11.960 Obviously not.
00:08:12.960 Yeah.
00:08:13.960 That kind of sounds like he was doing stuff.
00:08:15.960 Not...
00:08:16.960 More so to have the authority.
00:08:17.960 Not in a bad way.
00:08:18.960 But to have the authority be like, yeah, I can look after you.
00:08:22.960 But kind of just dismiss the fact that he wanted to be looked after too.
00:08:25.960 So maybe that's why he came back and went, cool, like, you don't look after me.
00:08:28.960 But like, for him, his only, like, his only intention was to look after you.
00:08:33.960 Well, I don't think...
00:08:34.960 I don't know.
00:08:35.960 Based on what I'm hearing, that's what it sounds like.
00:08:37.960 But, yeah.
00:08:38.960 Based on what I'm hearing, he got easily influenced by his peers.
00:08:42.960 And that's what it was.
00:08:43.960 He spent more time with his younger peers listening to them.
00:08:47.960 And sometimes it became hard.
00:08:48.960 Peer pressure can come at any age.
00:08:50.960 Yeah, I think so.
00:08:51.960 Especially as youths that were together so young.
00:08:53.960 And he was so...
00:08:54.960 It seems like he was mature when he was young.
00:08:58.960 And then he spent most of his youth being mature.
00:09:00.960 And then when he had the chance to be young again and be a teenager,
00:09:04.960 because he'd lost all his teenage years, he just went for it because he was surrounded by that.
00:09:08.960 I think if he wasn't a musician, it would have been different.
00:09:10.960 But being a musician, that's hard.
00:09:13.960 Yeah.
00:09:14.960 I made him be a musician as well.
00:09:17.960 Oh, right.
00:09:18.960 I was like, do it.
00:09:19.960 Follow your...
00:09:20.960 Yeah, do it.
00:09:21.960 It's fine.
00:09:22.960 I can, you know, take care of things for a little while.
00:09:25.960 That's such a long relationship.
00:09:26.960 It just sounds like such a...
00:09:28.960 It's seemingly smaller thing to end such a long relationship.
00:09:32.960 Oh, no.
00:09:33.960 There was many things that he'd done at the end that were not good.
00:09:37.960 But I don't really want...
00:09:38.960 He's a good person.
00:09:39.960 I've got nothing bad to say about him.
00:09:40.960 But he behaved badly for a little while.
00:09:43.960 For like six months of our relationship.
00:09:46.960 He behaved very badly.
00:09:48.960 And then he's now back to being normal and everything, you know, fine.
00:09:52.960 But yeah, he was a different person for a while.
00:09:54.960 I've got fingers crossed for you.
00:09:55.960 Yeah.
00:09:56.960 No, no, no, no.
00:09:57.960 Absolutely not.
00:09:58.960 I'm rooting for it a little bit.
00:09:59.960 No, no.
00:10:00.960 Absolutely not.
00:10:01.960 He wasn't mature.
00:10:02.960 No, no.
00:10:03.960 How old is he now?
00:10:04.960 He's 40.
00:10:05.960 When he...
00:10:06.960 So it was...
00:10:07.960 When he was turning...
00:10:08.960 Is he with anyone?
00:10:09.960 I don't know.
00:10:10.960 He would...
00:10:11.960 I don't think he would ever tell me.
00:10:12.960 That's the thing.
00:10:13.960 I don't think he would.
00:10:14.960 You didn't creep?
00:10:15.960 No.
00:10:16.960 You didn't check his page?
00:10:17.960 No, I haven't recently.
00:10:18.960 Obviously, when we first broke up, I looked.
00:10:21.960 Would it make you feel...
00:10:22.960 We're still on...
00:10:23.960 We're still friends on everything.
00:10:24.960 We haven't done that.
00:10:25.960 Would it make you feel a type of way if he told you he was talking to someone else right now?
00:10:28.960 No, not at all.
00:10:29.960 I'm completely healed.
00:10:30.960 Like literally, when he moved out, I came to terms with it pretty quick.
00:10:35.960 And I am one of those people that take things as a lesson and I move on from it.
00:10:40.960 So I'm like, I could see...
00:10:42.960 So he's done some really bad things at the end, but he's a good person and I can see the part I played in that.
00:10:48.960 So I can see how my behaviour made him behave that way.
00:10:52.960 So I think, you know, sometimes it can be easy to stop doing the things that you do for each other and not keeping things alive, you know.
00:11:02.960 And I'm not saying in the bedroom.
00:11:04.960 I'm saying in general, day to day.
00:11:07.960 Yeah.
00:11:09.960 So I just think that good people, bad situation, things went upside down and that's fine.
00:11:16.960 And actually, I think I had my best year of my life since we split up funny enough.
00:11:22.960 Not because he's a bad person.
00:11:24.960 It's just because I can be me.
00:11:26.960 I can do what I want to do.
00:11:27.960 I don't have to consider a partner's feelings for a little while.
00:11:31.960 I'm not the type of person to just move from person to person.
00:11:35.960 Yeah.
00:11:36.960 So I'm just good being me for a little while.
00:11:39.960 I'm still kind of rooting for it.
00:11:41.960 No, no, no, no.
00:11:42.960 Don't.
00:11:43.960 Don't.
00:11:44.960 No.
00:11:45.960 What about you two?
00:11:46.960 What do you guys look for in a guy?
00:11:48.960 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:11:56.960 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:12:00.960 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.