JustPearlyThings - June 29, 2023


Modern Women STRUGGLE To Grasp This Concept


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

214.39288

Word Count

1,429

Sentence Count

96


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Oh, I've definitely, cause in my, where I grew up, my, my siblings and I just roast each other.
00:00:05.340 Like literally, it's like, yeah, it's just like how I grew up.
00:00:08.980 And when I was in, um, a relationship, that's what I realized that I would do.
00:00:13.300 Cause I was so used to it.
00:00:16.560 There's something I had to like train myself out of.
00:00:19.280 Cause I was like, oh no, you can't like men don't see it like that.
00:00:22.660 Like it's like really disrespected.
00:00:24.620 Like it's one thing when it's, you know, your, your sister or whatever, like that's, but
00:00:28.880 that's, and that's what I, yeah, it was like, that's what I realized that men like see respect
00:00:36.020 as love.
00:00:36.380 And it's funny.
00:00:36.860 It actually helped me with one of my brothers.
00:00:38.580 Like he's just a really like dominant personality.
00:00:41.380 And when we were younger, like me and him just butt heads all the time, you know, he's my
00:00:46.060 little brother.
00:00:46.740 I don't listen to him.
00:00:47.980 Like, but what I realized is like the second I started, like, cause one day I just woke up
00:00:54.200 and I was like, Adam is actually a really hard worker.
00:00:57.140 He's actually really smart.
00:00:58.700 And I was like, you know what, if I had to bet on one of my siblings being like a really
00:01:02.340 rich, like, like super successful, I'm like, I would probably bet on Adam.
00:01:06.680 And I was like, maybe I should like take his advice.
00:01:09.460 And all of my other sisters did not get along with Adam.
00:01:12.260 Cause again, he's the one bossing everyone around telling everyone what to do.
00:01:16.760 Everyone's annoyed.
00:01:17.880 And then one day I just started saying, you know what, Adam, like, what do you, you know,
00:01:21.220 and like actually like listening to him.
00:01:23.280 And it was crazy.
00:01:24.160 I went with fight from fighting with him all the time to like, I'm probably closer with
00:01:29.060 him than any of my other siblings now.
00:01:31.060 And I was, that's what I realized.
00:01:32.640 Like when you respect a guy's opinion, it's like, that's like the ultimate form of love
00:01:36.580 to them.
00:01:37.240 Yeah.
00:01:37.420 And that's really all they want.
00:01:39.060 Like I saw you had, um, what's the fellow you just had on, it was on last night.
00:01:43.200 Like Jay Walt Waller.
00:01:45.180 Yeah.
00:01:45.980 Justin Waller.
00:01:46.780 Yeah.
00:01:47.180 Yeah.
00:01:47.440 He was talking about that.
00:01:48.980 How, like, if you are a hardworking guy and you're really successful and you're doing
00:01:53.620 all this for your wife or your girlfriend and you take her on a vacation or do something
00:01:58.380 special with her, really all the men want to hear is like, wow, I really appreciate that.
00:02:03.160 I see that you put in all this effort and did all of this and I really appreciate it.
00:02:07.060 And thank you.
00:02:08.020 And I respect you.
00:02:09.000 Like if you just do that, like 99% of men are going to treat you like gold.
00:02:14.120 They're going to stick around forever.
00:02:15.420 They're going to be great dads.
00:02:17.040 Men don't need that much.
00:02:19.080 If we are just kind and respectful to them and not constantly cutting them off at the knees,
00:02:25.900 they're, they're great.
00:02:26.940 Like my husband, same thing.
00:02:28.360 When we first got together, I had bad habits like that too.
00:02:31.040 Um, and we still roast each other like in private for fun because we're, we're both like
00:02:36.020 that a little bit, but I never do it in public because when we first got together, I would
00:02:41.120 kind of do that.
00:02:41.800 Not same thing.
00:02:42.460 I wasn't trying to be awful to him or anything, but I just realized the impact it had.
00:02:48.260 And early on in our dating, he told me that he was like, look, if this is how you behave,
00:02:53.000 like, I don't want to date you.
00:02:54.520 And at first I was really mad at first I was like, and then it took me about two minutes
00:02:59.520 to be like, wait, do I want to be that person?
00:03:02.260 Do I want to be the girl who like throw stuff at him and has a snotty, sarcastic comment
00:03:06.940 for everything he says?
00:03:08.540 Like, no.
00:03:09.680 And then I realized like I had picked that up from, you know, my mom and from other people
00:03:15.380 I was around and got that under control.
00:03:17.780 And it's like, did wonders for the relationship.
00:03:20.980 And still to this day, if I just am like decent to him and respectful, he's the best husband
00:03:27.800 and dad that I could ever want.
00:03:29.560 So it's not that hard, but we make it super hard.
00:03:34.160 And I think it's because everything caters to women and women's feelings.
00:03:37.740 And it's like, it must be that the problems with the man and the man has to understand
00:03:41.860 the woman and he has to think about her and how it impacts her.
00:03:44.800 And a lot of men will try to talk about something that bothers them or a problem they have.
00:03:50.480 And their wife will take it and make it about her.
00:03:52.960 You know, my husband says that too, that like, he feels like he sees that a lot with
00:03:57.540 his friends.
00:03:58.100 Like his friend will say, oh, I'm having a really hard time and struggling at work.
00:04:02.400 And the wife will immediately make it about like, well, now I'm worried.
00:04:05.520 What if you lose your job?
00:04:06.540 And what if we can't afford things now?
00:04:08.120 Now I'm worried and it's my problem.
00:04:10.100 And he ends up having to comfort her, you know?
00:04:13.720 Do you ever have this problem where girls will tell you their relationship problems and
00:04:18.740 you don't agree with them?
00:04:20.200 And it's just like, like, I have this one friend, she's, she's dating like a YouTuber,
00:04:26.280 right?
00:04:26.720 And she's always like whining to me about the stuff he has to do for work.
00:04:32.000 And I'm just like, you knew that when you started dating him, I got no sympathy.
00:04:36.700 Like I, I told you, we both know.
00:04:41.080 That's another thing women do all the time.
00:04:43.220 They all think they want the alpha, right?
00:04:45.180 They think they want the really successful guy that makes six figures and is six feet tall
00:04:49.000 and has six pack abs, but what they don't realize most women don't actually want that
00:04:53.420 because those kinds of men, they don't have a lot of time to give you attention.
00:04:57.520 It's not going to be about you.
00:04:59.100 You're not going to get a ton of his time.
00:05:00.460 You're not going to have a date night every single week.
00:05:02.400 He's not going to be constantly telling you you're pretty.
00:05:04.780 He's going to be busy.
00:05:05.840 He's going to be focused.
00:05:07.160 He's going to have a ton of demands on his time and attention.
00:05:10.440 And you're going to have to be like my husband's this way.
00:05:12.840 He's a very successful, very busy guy.
00:05:14.840 And if I wasn't a person who's pretty like self-sufficient, happy to be at home doing my
00:05:19.860 own thing.
00:05:20.540 And like, I understand he's busy.
00:05:23.260 I respect that he's busy.
00:05:24.520 And for years he had to work like 70 hour weeks so I could stay home.
00:05:29.100 Right.
00:05:29.940 And so what am I going to do?
00:05:31.740 Complain that I don't get enough attention or complain that he's not home enough.
00:05:35.700 That's not going to work.
00:05:36.860 So if you were a girl who that's your priority, you want lots of attention from a man.
00:05:42.680 And you want him to focus on you.
00:05:44.400 You'd be better off with the type of guy who maybe just works a 40 hour week somewhere
00:05:50.080 and makes an okay living.
00:05:51.340 And you're never going to have a ton of money, but he'll like build you a deck on the back
00:05:56.040 of the house because he knows you like it.
00:05:58.060 Or he'll, you know, make you stuff and build you things and dote on you a little more.
00:06:02.220 But don't be going for like ultra successful alpha types if you need attention and time
00:06:07.300 because you're not going to get it from them.
00:06:09.360 Yeah.
00:06:09.580 And like a lot of times, like, you know, when I look at my parents, I'm like, my, my dad
00:06:14.280 was gone a lot growing up.
00:06:16.060 So I'm just like, I don't think I'm like, I don't think you women nowadays could be faithful.
00:06:21.040 Like my mom wasn't like that.
00:06:22.860 You know what I mean?
00:06:23.440 Like, as many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily
00:06:29.320 basis on this platform.
00:06:31.620 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:06:35.680 So every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.