Modern Women Submit With CONDITIONS
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
204.15903
Summary
In this episode, we talk about feminism and what it means to be a feminist and why it is a disaster. We also talk about what feminism means to us as women and why we don t think it is good or bad.
Transcript
00:00:00.920
I don't get why everything's always centred around finances.
00:00:06.140
but I don't understand where women have the high expectations
00:00:09.140
of expecting a man to have so much money to get with him.
00:00:12.800
I thought, like, if you love someone, it's based on love.
00:00:22.140
One thing I realised from being in a relationship,
00:00:36.120
You can be in love with someone, love them dearly,
00:00:38.020
but when the bills come, is that love going to pay the bills?
00:00:52.840
and there are certain things that a man may pay.
00:00:59.500
But you endure when you survive the life of a household together.
00:01:03.780
And you become accustomed to the wealth that you make in your household.
00:01:06.620
I get that, but that's not the way I would want to live my life.
00:01:14.040
So if your man makes more than you, why is he expected to make more and you make less
00:01:25.900
I said if I made more, I wouldn't be able to submit to him.
00:01:35.300
But I find, I know, if he makes less than me, it would be harder for me to submit.
00:01:44.460
So I'd like to go around and everyone say, if you consider yourself a feminist, yes, no,
00:01:54.640
I'm not a feminist because I think I believe, I'm in between, I would say, but I'll say no
00:02:01.920
because I don't think, there's things that men can do and there's things that women can't do
00:02:07.580
and there's things that women can do and there's things that men can't do, if that makes sense.
00:02:11.180
So I feel that's why I'm in the middle and I'm still saying a bit of, nah, I'm not a feminist.
00:02:21.720
I don't think I'm a feminist because I do believe that, I am like strong on like gender roles.
00:02:27.340
So I do believe that there's certain things that a woman should do in a relationship,
00:02:33.260
there's certain things a man should do in a relationship, but I'm also like big on women empowerment.
00:02:45.140
I don't really identify with anything that feminism stands for anymore.
00:02:54.980
I would say I'm very much a traditional feminist, not so much a modern feminist.
00:03:01.920
I still have those traditional values and I feel like I do believe in female empowerment.
00:03:13.900
Yeah, I would say I'm sort of in between as well, but it just gets a bit too technical.
00:03:18.960
I believe in them obviously opening doors for women, but it gets too technical for me.
00:03:24.700
So for me, I'm in between as well, this feminist role.
00:03:28.820
I do not consider myself to be a feminist whatsoever.
00:03:32.280
A man and a woman has complete different duties and roles.
00:03:36.820
A man's purpose is to protect, provide, hunt and lead.
00:03:40.880
And a woman's purpose is to nurture and reproduce as far as I'm concerned.
00:03:47.940
I'm very in tune with myself spiritually and I feel like everything in the modern day world
00:04:11.560
I think for women, having multiple sexual partners is really bad for your mental health.
00:04:22.460
And also, even if you're not technically sleeping with all of them, what kind of person are you if you're just an object on millions of people's screens?
00:04:30.340
And all that object is, is your boobs and bottom.
00:04:36.700
And if you don't care about who you are enough to put that out there and all you want to put out there is your body,
00:04:42.260
then I think that shows that maybe there's something not quite right inside that maybe you don't value in yourself.
00:04:48.980
So you only value the exterior part of yourself.
00:04:52.620
Do you guys know women that can sleep around and are genuinely happy doing it?
00:05:01.700
So why do you think it's pushed so much if the outcomes aren't good for women?
00:05:05.860
Because I feel like people, like people that maybe, this is just like from me watching,
00:05:13.240
but I feel like people that maybe do sleep around a lot, maybe if they don't actually like know who they are or like know what they stand for completely
00:05:24.440
So they'll tell people, yeah, this is what makes me happy.
00:05:31.620
Like even Amber Rose, for example, this, what is that thing she does a nude walk?
00:05:49.600
Yeah, I thought, yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say.
00:05:51.780
I would go to like interview people and say, you know, what is it?
00:05:54.920
But I don't think I would take part in a slut walk.
00:06:01.060
But yeah, what I was going to say about the Amber Rose slut walk, I feel like with feminism now,
00:06:06.780
it's if you show your, the more body you show, the more empowered you are as a woman.
00:06:14.400
And it's like they try and talk for all women as a whole when really this is your opinion.
00:06:19.440
So even in dating now, it's like men, they'll come and talk to you in a certain way, like you're a feminist already, like they just think you're a feminist.
00:06:30.580
Do you think older women sabotage younger women?
00:06:36.340
I feel like going back to what we were just talking about as well, like I feel like women are trying to compete with men.
00:06:43.460
And I think that is literally where the problem is.
00:06:47.920
Why is it okay for a man to sleep with loads of women, but it's not okay for me?
00:06:54.960
Like we have to actually ask ourselves, like, do we actually enjoy casually giving our body like that?
00:07:03.660
And, you know, because we have emotions and we, you know, we feel things and like for men, it's different.
00:07:11.700
Whereas with women, it's completely different and we can't, you know, deny that.
00:07:17.600
Like, do you actually think, like, do you actually.
00:07:20.620
Well, most of my friends, I feel like, you know, they tell me stories and they sleep with someone and they get attached.
00:07:30.240
So you don't think men do, or do you think they're just better hiding their emotions because of like.
00:07:36.620
No, I, I, men can literally go and do that and have a zero emotion.
00:07:44.460
Whereas why are we trying to compete with that?
00:07:46.760
But I, but just because someone's programmed to be like something, I don't feel like they're being completely open and saying like, they can just go and sleep around with anyone.
00:07:55.980
And they don't feel any, like, I don't believe that.
00:07:58.500
Like, I actually, I don't think they've got to the root of the problem of why they can do that because that's not humane.
00:08:03.420
But, but the thing is like when men get money, power and status, they do do it.
00:08:15.860
But I feel like there's effects that is just, it's not attached to, okay, you're sleeping with loads of people.
00:08:22.640
I feel like they might feel type of ways, but they're not attaching it to, oh, because I'm just going around sleeping with loads of women.
00:08:28.080
Because I've got loads of male friends and I see the after effect that it has with them sleeping with loads of women, but they won't actually admit it.
00:08:35.760
Yeah, they won't actually admit it or pinpoint it on that.
00:08:38.440
But I think that sort of goes back, that sort of goes back to like the whole peer pressure with men and maintaining this image of like, you know, when you become successful and you have money, the girls come with it.
00:08:50.680
And I feel like a lot of men are trying to force that.
00:08:54.260
And that's probably why your friends are feeling some type of way afterwards, because they're doing something, but maybe they don't really want to be doing it.
00:09:02.800
But also, I'll be real, like when men obviously sleep around, their body's not going to change.
00:09:09.180
If a woman sleeps around, your body's a temper, your body's going to change.
00:09:12.300
It's going to adapt to whoever you're sleeping with.
00:09:17.120
I'm saying like, okay, the levels of women and men financially are like the same, but like following, being full of fashion, like it's like you're the mean, like you're lowering your standards and your body changes.
00:09:41.380
They can go around, do what they're doing, honky dory.
00:09:52.460
And I feel like as women, we just have a lot more to lose and that there's a lot more at stake for us.
00:09:57.940
So that's why we are naturally going to be very, you know, picky and selective.
00:10:04.280
And, you know, I pride myself in being selective and, you know, not giving my body freely to just anyone.
00:10:14.460
Do you think you guys could respect a guy and follow his lead if you make more money than him?
00:10:23.680
I don't mind, like, in terms of finances, it doesn't make a difference to me.
00:10:29.480
Yeah, I wouldn't mind if my partner made more money than me.
00:10:32.380
Just as long as you talk to me with the same level of respect, because I'm still earning.
00:10:36.320
So what if you were paying 80% of the bills and you had to buy a house?
00:10:42.500
Yeah, let's say, I'm just taking it to the, like, to the extreme.
00:10:46.100
You're paying 80% of the bills and he says we're buying this house and you don't like it, you hate it.
00:10:59.980
The whole point is that you're not submitting if he has to convince you.
00:11:03.660
That's like, if it's your boss and he tells you to do something, you just do it.
00:11:07.600
So it's, I mean, I think when we're being honest, it's hard to submit to someone if they don't make more money.
00:11:12.440
And I feel like a man is meant to be, well, if you're married, a provider.
00:11:19.960
And I don't feel like if you're not earning more than me, you could provide for me, like, fully.
00:11:25.560
And if we're buying a house together and I don't like it, I'm not going to, and I am providing basically more.
00:11:32.000
I think it would be hard for me to submit to someone who isn't basically being able to lead me.
00:11:38.380
And if you're not earning more than me, it's going to be harder for me to agree or listen to you.
00:11:43.100
It might sound, oh, that's not nice, but that's how I feel.
00:11:45.680
I can't listen to someone that isn't earning more than me.
00:11:51.020
I just feel like it's just because of the way I've been raised.
00:11:53.840
If I, for example, I use my dad, he's always earned, he's always been an earner.
00:11:57.000
He's always been able to look after me and his family.
00:12:02.200
And if you're not earning more than me, maybe if it's a short period of time, you've lost money or you're down.
00:12:07.320
But I couldn't marry someone that earns less than me.
00:12:10.820
Because how I see the role of a man in a household, you're meant to be a leader, provider.
00:12:16.800
But sometimes there's a come up, so they might be low in the beginning.
00:12:20.500
Could you stick by someone that has a good heart and be with them through the come up?
00:12:25.900
To be honest with you, I feel maybe because of my past experiences, where I am now, I don't want to be with someone that's on a come up.
00:12:35.120
I feel like, especially because I have a child and where I want to be in life,
00:12:44.040
But where I am now, I want you to be at least a certain level earning a certain amount of money consistently.
00:12:49.100
I don't want to have to raise you or support you consistently.
00:12:55.360
It doesn't have to be a large amount of money because I'm not, what's the word?
00:13:08.780
I feel like someone just be able to live, maintain, be able to go out on events and do things.
00:13:13.900
It doesn't have to be crazy, but as long as you're.
00:13:19.780
It says the average yearly wage for full-time workers in London in 2022, according to status.
00:13:27.440
I don't, you don't have to be a millionaire or a billionaire.
00:13:30.200
You just have to be able to support yourself so that we can rise together.
00:13:34.220
I don't want someone that's down and then I have to pull you up because I've got a child.
00:13:38.820
Then there's rebuttal is what are you bringing to the table?
00:13:54.120
You don't think if you're interviewing for a job, you have to show them your resume and your experience?
00:13:59.940
But I feel like when men ask that question, I feel like we should be asking you, what are you bringing to the table?
00:14:12.780
Yeah, but you're forgetting, a woman is going to, first of all, she's going to make your house a home.
00:14:23.200
Do you think most modern women can make a house a home?
00:14:25.940
Do most modern women have recipes from scratch?
00:14:30.900
No, not necessarily, but what I mean is she is going to make your house feel like a home.
00:14:43.740
Well, you would, you would do duties around the house, would you not?
00:14:49.060
It's a certain type of woman you're talking about.
00:14:50.520
So, like, what does she bring to the table that a hooker, a cook, and a cleaner can't do?
00:14:55.200
But she's going to be providing you with support, emotional support.
00:14:58.300
But I just think when men hear this, it's like, it's like we're saying nothing.
00:15:02.840
It's like not, like, it's not specific as I can do this, I have this skill, this, this, and this.
00:15:10.340
Obviously, you know, my sexuality, and my role is basically like the male role.
00:15:15.660
So, that's why I'm just asking these little ones and twos to throw you off, but also to get a better understanding.
00:15:22.880
But I'm not really hearing, it's not matching up to the 41 grand that I'm bringing to the table.
00:15:27.300
I don't get why everything's always centred around finances.
00:15:30.480
I understand you need money to survive, but I don't understand where women have the high expectations of expecting a man to have so much money to get with him.
00:15:37.820
Like, how can, I thought, like, if you love someone, it's based on love.
00:15:48.280
One thing I realised from being in a relationship, love is not enough.
00:16:02.260
You can be in love with someone, love them dearly, but when the bills come, is that love going to pay the bills?
00:16:09.560
If you've got high expectations, you should be providing for yourself then.
00:16:17.240
There are certain things that a woman may pay, and there are certain things that a man may pay.
00:16:24.300
Love is not going to keep you warm at night when you have to pay our electricity.
00:16:25.700
But you endure when you survive the life of a household together.
00:16:29.920
And you become accustomed to the wealth that you make in your household.
00:16:32.440
I get that, but that's not the way I would want to live my life.
00:16:40.540
So if your man makes more than you, why is he expected to make more and you make less and you both live the same life?
00:16:52.040
I said if I made more, I wouldn't be able to submit to him.
00:16:59.960
Yeah, I would be happy with the same amount, but I find, I know if he makes less than me, it would be harder for me to submit.
00:17:09.140
I can't even put a nail on it, but I know if a man made less than me.
00:17:11.940
Do you think society has a role to play in that?
00:17:19.500
It's taken, do you think society has taken a toll on how you love someone?
00:17:29.380
So you think love is based on material then, basically?
00:17:31.780
No, what I think love is, is you can love someone, but maybe, what can I say?
00:17:36.200
So say you was with a man and he was rich and then he went broke, would you stay with him?
00:17:40.980
What's the difference then if the roles are reversed?
00:17:46.380
So why can't you help somebody get rich if you can help them stay broke?
00:17:50.860
If he could get rich in the first place, then I know in my heart he can get rich again.
00:18:00.500
A good person can see potential in somebody from nothing.
00:18:03.220
The problem is if I speak from my personal experiences, I'm always the one seeing potential in people.
00:18:07.840
Maybe there's something that you should look within yourself that might need fixing and choosing a partner then.
00:18:14.020
Maybe it is, but that's why I've made a decision to say I'm not looking, I'm not going to go with somebody that is.
00:18:19.620
I'm not going to look at anyone's potential anymore because we can see potential for days.
00:18:22.660
It doesn't mean that they're going to reach that.
00:18:24.120
So what I've learned is I now want to be with someone or get to date someone that is at a certain stage that I can say,
00:18:42.560
I wouldn't say high value, but someone that is at a...
00:18:51.360
If we're going to use that term, it's 10K a month.
00:18:56.860
I just want someone that is able to pay their bills, feed themselves.
00:19:00.700
Okay, so what if a guy ticked all them boxes and emotionally you don't feel nothing,
00:19:14.280
So I can love someone, but everything else, you have to be respectful.
00:19:18.660
Just say he ticked all them boxes, but you love him a little bit.
00:19:27.140
If a man ticked all the boxes and you loved him a little bit, is that good enough?
00:19:32.480
Do you think there's a minimum, like a guy has to have a job, right?
00:19:43.420
I mean, I think it's dishonest when we say it's all about love, because I think at some
00:19:48.240
point, if a guy's unemployed for five years, you're probably going to leave.
00:19:53.720
So like if somebody's broke, if I say I met someone and he's broke, but he's got the right
00:19:57.880
mentality to conquer the world, then by all means, I can support him and I can help him.
00:20:06.080
But I just think when we're asking these questions, it's like, what is the minimum?
00:20:11.280
If I like somebody and I believe in them, then they've got my support.
00:20:15.360
But how long, how long are you believing in them until they like...
00:20:19.080
As long as I think it's difficult, say I have money and the man doesn't have any money.
00:20:23.960
If he can respect my values and like believe that I'm putting him in positions to help him,
00:20:29.900
If he's getting up every day at six in the morning and he's trying and trying, you can't
00:20:34.180
fault somebody like that, because we're all from different places.
00:20:39.520
Everyone talks about bills, but I'm just, I think I've got a whole different perspective of
00:20:43.600
life because of myself, my lifestyle and how I've been brought up like...
00:20:49.780
I think my life's upbringing, experience is completely different to a lot of people.
00:20:55.440
I don't really want to dig too deep on here, if I'm being honest, but I just do believe
00:21:04.480
So what would it take for you not to believe in him anymore?
00:21:07.840
My first perspective of this man was wrong and he's actually a, like, not a bum, sorry.
00:21:15.280
If he's behaving like a bum, then obviously that's a huge red flag that he doesn't really
00:21:23.460
So that's when you'll leave, when you realise his true mentality.
00:21:27.520
But I haven't ever encountered a situation like that to say I'm going like...
00:21:42.440
And I feel like what you were trying to say was, yes, your love is...
00:21:47.440
You love someone, but it's, as a woman, it's conditional.
00:21:52.440
And I'm going to be honest, as a woman, like, my love is conditional.
00:21:57.440
And yes, I can have these amazing, beautiful memories with you.
00:22:01.440
If you are not bringing those qualities that I want, and you are not going to contribute
00:22:09.640
to the life that I want for myself, then that love is not enough for me.
00:22:16.260
And if I'm honest with you, I'm not really looking to be with someone and do the whole
00:22:25.000
Yes, you have dreams, but it's not my job to sit here and motivate you and be holding your
00:22:33.180
I'm looking for someone who is established because I feel like as a high value woman,
00:22:38.680
I am allowed to seek a high value man, especially because I know what I bring to the table.
00:22:45.380
Can you define a high value woman to me or to you?
00:22:49.180
High value woman is someone who first of all, has a lot of respect for herself, you know,
00:23:04.180
Well, I feel like no, because men obviously just want someone who's beautiful and is just
00:23:13.180
And well, that's at least what we're being told, but I feel like that's not true.
00:23:24.180
No, because I feel like it's not about being submissive.
00:23:28.180
You just have to be kind and you have to be loving and you have to respect your man.
00:23:34.180
A lot of women don't actually respect their men.
00:23:40.180
They love them, but they don't actually respect them.
00:23:42.180
And I feel like men want respect from women and they don't get that enough.
00:23:46.180
Well, I agree with you, but why is that not submission?
00:23:59.180
I feel like if I'm just going to be saying yes to everything and doing everything that
00:24:03.180
my man wants, then I've kind of lost sense of who I am.
00:24:06.180
Like, I want to have a voice in this partnership.
00:24:09.180
I want to have a voice in this marriage and I want to be heard and I want to be seen.
00:24:15.180
So your boss can take your opinion into account.
00:24:17.180
But at the end of the day, he has the final say.
00:24:19.180
And men don't, they don't feel like they're respected if you don't give them the final say.
00:24:23.180
Like they don't want a woman that they have to argue with all the time.
00:24:26.180
Yeah, but you don't have to argue with a man to get your point across.
00:24:29.180
If you're with a loving, respectful man who hears you and values you, he's always going to listen to you.
00:24:35.180
He can hear you and listen to you and still tell you no.
00:24:40.180
But just because if he tells me no, it depends.
00:24:45.180
Like there's certain things that, yeah, I might be like, okay, cool.
00:24:48.180
I'll submit to you because I would say I'm definitely a traditional woman.
00:24:55.180
How are you a traditional woman is a 22 year old virgin?
00:25:00.180
No, as in I have like traditional values the way that I was brought.
00:25:07.180
And the men that I see in my culture are very traditional.
00:25:16.180
And a lot of women in my culture, they don't work.
00:25:19.180
They just sort of stay at home and the man goes out and gets the money and they just raise the kids.
00:25:24.180
Obviously we've moved on from that, but I still hold those values in the sense that I'm okay to submit to my man when the time is right or when I feel the time is right.
00:25:35.180
But the whole point is that's, that's not submission is when you feel, I mean, we're women, we change our opinions every goddamn day.
00:25:43.180
So it's like, if you, if, if, if I, if I employ blessing and I say blessing, turn this camera angle on, or I do do this, do this.
00:25:51.180
And at the end of the day, I have the final say, and, and that's kind of how it is should be anyways, when you're submitting to a guy.
00:26:01.180
They just want someone to go, yes, I'll do exactly what you tell me to do.
00:26:05.180
No, they just want to argue all the time with every decision.
00:26:14.180
I personally think they want to have long conversations about every decisions and just really make you feel heard.
00:26:29.180
And if I feel comfortable, but I will always have my boundaries set in place firmly.
00:26:35.180
But the point is, sometimes you're not going to feel comfortable.
00:26:38.180
I mean, in a 30, 40, 50 year marriage, you think you're not going to feel comfortable.
00:26:43.180
And sometimes you're going to feel like he's not the right man.
00:26:51.180
I mean, the high value woman is like someone who like is kind, who's nurturing, you know, who's going to support her man, lift him up, motivate him, inspire him.
00:27:15.180
They know when they come across a high value woman, they know.
00:27:21.180
Do you want to know what I hear when I hear high value woman?
00:27:28.180
All that Instagram, like highlighted factor, like Valentine's Day.
00:27:36.180
You better make sure that like, you've got the hotel with the little petals and the balloons, like holidays.
00:27:45.180
It's like, it's like, give me everything and do nothing.
00:27:49.180
I'm not Kim Kardashian, but, um, this, you know what I mean?
00:27:53.180
It's like, that's to me what I'm hearing when I'm hearing high maintenance woman.
00:28:00.180
It's like, it's like, whenever I hear that, I think of the book, why men love bitches.
00:28:05.180
And then it's like, that's the whole, I'm not, I'm not saying you personally.
00:28:12.180
So what percent of the financial family load do you guys expect to pay to carry for a lifetime?
00:28:32.180
I mean, ideally, like maybe 40%, um, but I think it changes.
00:28:46.180
So, you know, I'm going to have to pick up extra shifts here and there, and then I might
00:28:49.180
go unemployed or go on maternity leave and the man's going to take over.
00:28:53.180
I think it fluctuates depending on the situation.
00:28:57.180
Um, yeah, like I'm, I'm kind of the same there as well.
00:29:03.180
Um, I also like, as you said, like maternity leave, or if I, if the man said that he wanted
00:29:08.180
me to be a housewife, which I don't think I would ever like take up to do.
00:29:11.180
But if he did, then I'd expect him to do a hundred percent.
00:29:19.180
Like I don't expect him to say that I'm going to be a complete housewife.
00:29:29.180
So you think he should carry a hundred percent of the bills?
00:29:33.180
I think I'm just using the words that came out of your mouth.
00:30:01.180
Are we considering that there's kids involved here?
00:30:26.180
I think it's dependable under circumstances though.
00:30:29.180
Because like, if, if you're agreeing that you stay at home, like if I'm staying at home,
00:30:39.180
Um, I've had been with my partner and I've been at home.
00:30:42.180
Like he wants me at home, so I can't go to work.
00:30:45.180
So he's provided for me a hundred percent because obviously it's impossible if I'm a stay at home mom.
00:30:50.180
But if she's working, um, I think it should be, the percentage should be agreed.
00:30:54.180
Like in terms of if they're making the same, then I don't see why it shouldn't be 50, 50, if they're both out working.
00:31:24.180
I would say 10%, like if I'm working, um, but if I'm not working, then nothing.
00:31:38.180
Like in an ideal world, I would want to be able to go out and do something part time
00:32:02.180
What percent of women do you think get to contribute 20% or less to the family financial load?
00:32:11.180
What percent of women do you think get to be housewives?
00:32:43.180
Do you guys feel like you're in the top 20% of women to earn that?
00:32:55.180
I've been a housewife and I've lost my partner.
00:32:58.180
So, I was a housewife and I feel like my perspective of life has changed now that I have the role
00:33:04.180
of a man, in a sense, because I have to provide for my child.
00:33:14.180
I'm on the opposite spectrum, so I've always been the provider.
00:33:17.180
And I've got a little one as well, a 13-year-old.
00:33:29.180
So, yeah, it's kind of mad right now, me hearing all these percentages.
00:33:40.180
I would just say they'll just have to be housewives, literally.
00:34:10.180
I think being a housewife, I might be a bit bored.
00:34:14.180
When you're asking the question, are you saying, do our values qualify or do we want to?
00:34:21.180
No, I was asking if you think you're in the top 20% of women.
00:34:27.180
But to be fair with the numbers, you know, are screaming out, you sort of are, innit?
00:34:32.180
You wanted to pay 20%, you know what I'm saying?
00:34:35.180
In an ideal world, I'd want to pay 20%, but we don't live in an ideal world.
00:34:40.180
And I'm not ignorant to the fact that I'm not in the top 20% of women, so I don't expect
00:34:45.180
to be a stay-at-home housewife and have things how I want.
00:34:48.180
I don't know where people get the idea that life's supposed to be exactly how you want
00:34:53.180
It's how it is and you deal with it how you're supposed to, given your circumstances.
00:34:57.180
My circumstances are, I'm not top 20%, so I'm probably going to be working.
00:35:02.180
What, what, what age do you guys think traditional women get married by?
00:35:12.180
Traditional, like arranged marriages and stuff.
00:35:31.180
Who do you guys think benefits more from the institution of marriage in 2023?
00:35:47.180
But it's the institution of marriage, not the, not the values of marriage, the institution.
00:35:52.180
And women benefit from the institution massively in this country.
00:35:55.180
But I think normally the men that like earn a lot of money and they're like the main breadwinners,
00:35:59.180
sometimes like, it will end with a lot of domestic like violence and stuff.
00:36:10.180
But still, no, but I feel like sometimes like men that make a lot of money, they have
00:36:24.180
Because they think, okay, I'm the man, you're the woman, I'm earning money and you're not.
00:36:29.180
So whatever I say like goes, it's not a thing where it's like roles where it's like, okay,
00:36:35.180
I can respect that you're cooking and cleaning.
00:36:37.180
It's more of a thing where I'm making the money and that's like seen as the harder thing.
00:36:40.180
But we all just said that we would have a hard time respecting someone if we made more
00:36:44.180
money than them when it comes to decision making.
00:36:47.180
So don't you think if he's paying all the bills, he should have the final say in decision making?
00:36:52.180
Otherwise, go find a guy to split it 50-50 with.
00:36:53.180
Yeah, no, I feel like he should have the final, like, but at the same time, as you said
00:36:58.180
before, I feel like there still needs to be a conversation.
00:37:02.180
And true, if you're marrying the right man, you will submit to him.
00:37:05.180
And yeah, there should still be a, and he'll get the final say.
00:37:07.180
But I feel like a lot of men that are earning, they'll just...
00:37:12.180
Do you want to have a conversation with your girl about every decision?
00:37:18.180
So it's like, you could feel like that, but guys don't want to do it.
00:37:23.180
And it's kind of like, if a dude's providing a lifestyle where you get to be in the top
00:37:32.180
And I think if you're with a guy for long enough, he's going to consult you.
00:37:37.180
It's like the bosses, you know, like a boss might go to their best employee and ask their opinion.
00:37:41.180
But at the end of the day, whose decision is it?
00:37:45.180
And then the employee doesn't go to the boss and say, you need to have a conversation with me.
00:37:54.180
I think it's very like different, a relationship.
00:37:58.180
I mean, it's different, but it's the same concept.
00:38:06.180
Like if, if, if that's the lifestyle that we want, we have to kind of be willing to accept
00:38:11.180
But who says that it has to come with control and like having to obey someone.
00:38:19.180
Like, yes, he's providing this life for me, but he's also providing this life for his kids
00:38:30.180
No, I'm saying that he is obviously providing for his family.
00:38:39.180
They actually want their wife to stay at home and spend time with the kids and not work.
00:38:44.180
I'm not, I'm not hating on anyone for wanting, wanting what they want, but, but what does he
00:38:50.180
And those guys typically want submission in return and submission is, and we have to have
00:39:00.180
Like you've got the modern woman who wants to say traditionally, like how she is with
00:39:06.180
Or like it's contradicting it, contradiction, contradicting it, both values because she wants
00:39:13.180
to be a stay at home mom, but she still wants to have a say in the household and fight for
00:39:16.180
the equality with the confusion of the feminism thing.
00:39:24.180
So for example, if something happened with your kids, there was an issue in the house.
00:39:29.180
And for example, you and your husband did not agree on the way that that situation was
00:39:37.180
Um, am I not allowed to have a say as, as the wife, as the mother of that child?
00:39:43.180
Or do I just listen to my husband, no matter what he says, even though I feel that what
00:39:48.180
he's saying is wrong and the way that he treated our son or the way that he decided to deal
00:39:56.180
But then we have to come to some kind of agreement because that's...
00:40:02.180
I just think women are emotionally with their kids and I find men very logical.
00:40:06.180
And it's factual that a man would raise his child better than a woman.
00:40:10.180
So I think you have to have faith in your partner.
00:40:12.180
And if he's a man, you have to give him that step above to say, you know what, you're
00:40:17.180
If you don't have that, the whole structure of the household doesn't have any foundations really
00:40:24.180
And statistics say that women at single parent households and things like that are really
00:40:30.180
So I think you have to give your man the upper hand at some point.
00:40:39.180
And the women that honestly do lead their households, they're miserable.
00:40:44.180
I mean, you guys see the girls that wear the pants in the relationship.
00:40:59.180
Let's say we go back to the beginning of feminism with the suffrage movement.
00:41:03.180
If you had to fight, if your options in order to vote was to fight in the front line of
00:41:16.180
so if in order to vote you had to be drafted and in the front lines not just like cooking in the
00:41:23.860
army go to war basically yeah go to war would you still want to vote no yeah i'd go to war
00:41:31.220
i'll stay home i'll tell you that i'll stay home hell no
00:41:39.860
yeah i'll cook anything for you get me off the battlefield get me off the battlefield
00:41:52.260
it does it does but it's only what i don't know eight nine percent but are you taking into account
00:41:59.220
the time the amount of time that women are out of work and the amount of women that work part-time
00:42:04.500
the majority of men like they they work full-time and they work for a lot longer than us so the
00:42:10.900
statistics are saying that there's a wage gap generally doesn't make any sense unless you
00:42:15.140
specify it down to women who are working full-time and men who are working full-time because otherwise
00:42:20.100
the statistics are skewed because obviously there's going to be a gap in the wages if a woman is working
00:42:25.700
part-time and a man is working full-time and say a woman takes time out to go on maternity leave or
00:42:30.740
whatever like i think that statistic is just silly like if you look at men and women actually
00:42:36.660
in the same job like my job for example guy same age as me both graduates we earn the same
00:42:44.260
i don't i don't think you ever walk into a job and the boss decides she's gonna earn less because
00:42:49.300
she's a girl i think maybe there might be a bit of bias when employing someone do i want to hire say
00:42:56.340
a 28 year old who's just gotten married versus say a 35 year old man if i was the boss you know
00:43:03.700
thinking financially i would probably pick the man because okay she's just got married she's 28 she's
00:43:08.660
not got much time left she's probably gonna have kids soon and you have to pay for mater yeah you
00:43:13.540
have to pay for like thinking of that from an employer perspective i gotta pay for you to not work for six
00:43:18.740
months no i agree completely yeah and that's the thing women don't want to do the most stressful jobs
00:43:24.900
typically and i say this from like hiring people i've had situations where i'll offer people roles
00:43:29.780
here where they'll make like double triple the amount like but they'd have to recruit and recruiting's
00:43:34.340
hard and they don't typically want to do it and it's stressful because we can't do the show if you don't
00:43:39.460
do it but women i don't know they just don't want to do those jobs exactly and like if you look at jobs
00:43:46.020
like for example like labor jobs i mean i don't know a lot about this um but you know the majority of
00:43:53.300
women aren't in labor jobs and people love to scream oh this is inequality and you know women
00:43:58.500
aren't welcome in these industries no be real with yourself do you actually want to be on a
00:44:02.340
construction site and the majority of women don't want to be there so that's why we're not there
00:44:08.660
you just contradicted yourself that means there would be a gap in the working industry with man
00:44:12.180
and woman a wage gap how would there be a wage gap because if a woman got employed in the labor
00:44:16.900
job same as a man she would still earn the same so there wouldn't be a wage she wouldn't earn the
00:44:20.580
same because she wouldn't be able to do the job anyway she's not physically strong enough to do
00:44:23.780
the job and the boss will see that so he he's not going to pay someone full wage knowing that she
00:44:28.580
can't even partake the full job anyway she's not doing the same work anyway so it's not inequality
00:44:34.020
she's not capable of doing what the man's capable it would be really unfair to pay her the same and a
00:44:39.540
man break his back every day and her get the same money i'll be livid if my husband come home and
00:44:44.020
as a woman doing less and he's becoming unbroken and like that's just not right yeah no fair enough
00:44:50.500
i mean i just think like you usually hear things of people saying like you know um i i went on a
00:44:57.140
podcast recently and we were discussing engineering and i was on there with a girl who was talking about
00:45:02.660
how she was in engineering and she was really successful in it like she was actually like above
00:45:07.540
the majority of men she was in quite a high power position she she struggled in that position obviously
00:45:12.660
because getting a group of men to listen to you when you're in in an industry like that is going
00:45:16.260
to be quite hard um but i just think like women the majority of the times aren't in those jobs because
00:45:24.340
they don't want to be like obviously physical strength is a limitation of course but i i do believe
00:45:32.340
that in this day and age if you want to do something you can go and give it a go and i think
00:45:38.980
if a woman wanted to be in the labour industry she would and could and should go give it a go
00:45:45.300
but i do agree that well i'll be honest i'm a i'm a build fiber engineer so i'm the one that's picking
00:45:52.820
up the ducks everything and pushing through cables and everything bringing fiber to people's and do you
00:45:58.900
earn the same as your yeah i do i earn exactly the same so i i want to ask a question would you guys work
00:46:05.460
in an oil rig in alaska for 300 000 a year raise your hand if you would yeah i would
00:46:15.060
purely for curiosity and adventure but that's what i mean if you ask a group of guy that guys that
00:46:22.420
questions half of them are like i'm gone you know they're going for the peace like to get out the
00:46:26.500
crazy households that exist now like yes please do you think women are more masculine today than 50
00:46:36.100
years ago yeah definitely 100 100 and have you guys ever struggled with your femininity 100
00:46:49.620
okay someone anyone who struggled with their feminine i would say i struggle in a sense where
00:46:54.820
i have no choice but to be masculine to fend for myself because there isn't really any man providing
00:46:59.700
for me in that sense so i'm forced to actually be masculine and then you know pay for my rent the
00:47:05.620
car the everything else i have to pay for if i had the choice i would choose to drop that tomorrow and
00:47:11.060
actually just have a guy do all of that are men forced to be feminine when they're single fathers
00:47:15.540
um yeah because there's no woman in the home not necessarily they can go find a female to a place
00:47:20.100
that i feel like they would have to tap into certain feminine roles i wouldn't say they have to be
00:47:25.540
feminine but they might have to um do something that they wouldn't have to do like for example
00:47:30.500
if they have a like for example i lived with my dad for a period of time my mom wasn't in the
00:47:34.100
home he had to tell me about which was very awkward monthly your period yeah to have that
00:47:39.860
conversation with me whereas if a woman was in the house right but does he start acting like a
00:47:44.180
girl like is he like hi no definitely no definitely how you doing he's definitely not be doing that but
00:47:51.940
it's like i'm in my feminine today no no but he had he had to step into a feminine role right but he
00:47:57.220
was still very masculine right but i feel like how can i but i think that's how guys hear it when we
00:48:02.340
when we say we have to be masculine yeah because there's no masculine like because there's not a guy
00:48:07.300
around or we have to do masculine things i feel like for me when i had to was in masculine energy is
00:48:11.620
when i was in a relationship where the man wasn't leading so i wasn't able to be feminine he was
00:48:17.060
allowing me to make this like i don't i like making decisions but it was a thing of where i was making
00:48:23.140
all of the decisions like oh it's fine no you have the last saying it was that okay like oh you do this
00:48:29.060
you do that i was in a masculine energy because the man wasn't operating in the masculine energy yeah
00:48:34.100
so i was basically like struggling and fighting every single day for the well why are you picking
00:48:39.380
feminine men do you know well why am i pick i was very young when i met him i was 18 so i didn't
00:48:44.820
know about feminine masculine energy you're young oh he looks good or he's nice and you just go with
00:48:50.340
the flow so i didn't know that then it wasn't until seven years have gone past wait okay so you didn't
00:48:55.620
notice it for seven years i noticed it but i was like ignoring it because i was like oh this is who i
00:49:00.660
love i want to be with and you ignore when you're in love you're blinded so for seven years you were
00:49:05.460
masculine masculine yeah so how how did you stop being masculine because i'd imagine like if you
00:49:11.060
do something for seven years how do you just break that habit to be honest with you i'm still in
00:49:15.620
therapy i'm still healing and learning i haven't stopped being masculine i'm learning how to not be
00:49:20.580
masculine so i'm single at the moment because i've had to learn that i basically stopped by not being
00:49:26.260
that person anymore and realizing that oh my gosh i was operating in masculine energy because they
00:49:30.820
wasn't and it wasn't even their fault it's just something that they couldn't do it wasn't within
00:49:34.740
them so now i'm in a learning process like okay i don't want to be masculine anymore i want to be
00:49:39.860
feminine i want to be soft but still i'm not a type of soft person that just sit at home no i like to
00:49:45.060
work i like to earn but i want to be able to be for a man to look at me and be like this is a woman
00:49:50.740
she's not trying to be strong or aggressive i don't want to be like that but yeah so i'm still in the
00:49:55.860
process of so for the single fathers what actually stops the guy from getting a replacement woman
00:50:02.980
what stops him what stops him getting a replacement woman
00:50:08.180
i mean maybe he doesn't like the modern women today a lack of wives
00:50:15.060
um common law marriage i mean the risks that come with marriage not wanting to bring a bunch of women
00:50:21.700
in and out of the home knowing they might leave and like knowing that's hard on a child yeah but
00:50:26.340
and even if he just finds a girlfriend to just facilitate the mother being there so he doesn't
00:50:30.900
have to be a full-on feminine single dad he might not want to be introducing women to his child
00:50:37.060
because it's not easy he might think oh if i introduce this woman how long is she going to be
00:50:40.980
there for i mean women i mean women leave 70 to 80 percent 80 of the time in divorce like in marriages
00:50:47.220
and so if it's a girlfriend how long is she really going to be there i'm sure he can find a solution
00:50:54.980
for that i'm sure i mean i i think that's a feminine point of view because for us it's like
00:51:02.020
there's always someone yeah but for men it's not always i mean one in three men are sexless they've
00:51:05.940
been had sex in the past year or they're virgins under 30 and so it's not as simple as oh just find
00:51:11.220
someone i beg to differ it's very very very easy to actually find just a normal genuine female that
00:51:18.180
can actually facilitate her needs because i disagree i think it's extremely difficult to find anybody in
00:51:23.700
the world today like yeah when you say like there's men that have gone without being in a relationship
00:51:29.700
for years i'm i'm one of those people like i've gone years without seeing anyone because i'm not
00:51:34.260
foreseeing that particular with what i want in my life and then in terms of like having someone around
00:51:39.620
my child i don't believe i could even consider anyone being around my child worthy enough to
00:51:46.420
actually i don't want anybody around my child because i know my partner would be upset about
00:51:50.580
the fact that there's another man around his child so i don't think that i find that very disrespectful
00:51:55.460
unless your man has specifically said i'm happy with that so i couldn't disrespect his principles there
00:52:01.940
but if you really think about it from the beginning when you're actually dating someone there's red flags
00:52:05.780
and you've got green flags and it's very easy to actually suss out the red flags that are there
00:52:10.260
very easy people reveal themselves in many different ways and like i said we have the feminists out
00:52:15.140
there that's revealing that they want to be a feminist so it's now easy for men to point out okay
00:52:19.540
this is what the feminists display as i now know what i do not want it's very easy i think women are
00:52:25.860
very smart i can say not just women i say men like once you become entangled in relationships like
00:52:31.620
children marriage you that or living with somebody i think that's when you really get to know someone
00:52:36.980
like people change like people are pretending to be somebody whether it's red or green flags whatever
00:52:42.660
you want to say but once you generally get to know someone things change people change one in four
00:52:47.540
marriages are sexless and it's usually on the part of the women how is a guy going to predict that
00:52:53.300
one in four it's very easy for me well no one's a mastermind no one can actually hide their true
00:52:59.380
self-right the whole time that's based to the decision that's up to you if you want to
00:53:06.500
some people get married and they'll buy a house together and like then the woman or all man will
00:53:11.940
want all of the house like they will lose everything and have to start all over again then you've got
00:53:16.180
broken men and women in society who are truly broken plus the children and everything i know someone
00:53:20.660
that got divorced and his ex-wife killed his dog how would he predict that from the beginning she would
00:53:28.420
have displayed some time i don't think that you're saying from the beginning but you can meet
00:53:34.900
someone in the beginning and they're amazing and that was their true self and then they've gone
00:53:37.940
through a life experience whilst being with you and they change people change people change
00:53:42.580
monthly daily yearly we're better liars men or women women women definitely women women definitely
00:53:49.300
women men men are not very good liars i don't think i think you can always see it in their eyes
00:53:53.460
i think women maybe actually i'm not too sure women women act better but i don't know definitely
00:54:00.660
women i think we're better at hiding things definitely um but seeing someone and living
00:54:08.500
with them is two different things yeah you never know someone till you live with them and how much are
00:54:12.980
you going to change in 40 50 years a lot yeah but if you really want a long marriage i mean people
00:54:19.940
change at times yeah um i agree with you some guys do ignore red flags but i i just think when it's
00:54:27.380
their kid that's at risk it's like a lot of guys just would rather avoid that situation altogether
00:54:33.700
i think that's the most likely person that is to abuse your child like sexually it's a step parent