JustPearlyThings - August 01, 2023


Most Modern Women REGRET This Decision


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

184.01947

Word Count

1,487

Sentence Count

87

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So all that to try and answer your question, we know that regret rates of abortion are actually quite low.
00:00:06.660 And these differ between studies. Some people say it's 5 percent.
00:00:10.780 I think that's nonsense. Probably other studies show it's more like 10, 20 percent regret rates.
00:00:16.400 And some studies show that people regret abortion the longer time has elapsed since the abortion.
00:00:24.140 So, you know, they'll say immediately after the abortion, I don't regret it at all.
00:00:28.240 But you ask them 20 years later, maybe when they haven't had any children and they really wanted a child.
00:00:32.940 Now I regret it. So I think part of it is that they don't regret it early on, but they might do later.
00:00:38.340 But still, the majority of people say, I don't regret it.
00:00:41.760 And I think what's probably going on for a significant number of women is.
00:00:46.960 There will be a lot of women out there who have a mental health problem as part of the abortion.
00:00:51.100 They won't recognize that it's part of the abortion.
00:00:53.560 They will recognize that their life is unhappy, but they will say abortion was the right choice.
00:00:59.860 And I think this is the same instinct that most of us have.
00:01:03.020 When we've made a decision, we have a bias towards not regretting it.
00:01:07.240 We think it was the right decision. Everything happens for a reason.
00:01:11.260 It was the right thing to do in my circumstance and so on.
00:01:14.140 And I think especially with such an emotionally charged issue like this and an issue where the reality is so painful,
00:01:22.560 it's quite understandable that many people would have a psychological instinct to just think, no, no, no, that reality is too much.
00:01:31.240 I definitely made the right decision in my circumstance, even if there is an awareness that I'm not happy and I have these mental difficulties.
00:01:38.140 You know what I think it is? I think it's like, this is just a guess, just me talking.
00:01:45.020 I think it's like from an evolutionary point of view, women are trying to get the best guy they can, right?
00:01:50.400 Best genes or resources.
00:01:52.780 I think that women use abortion as a way to get a better guy.
00:01:56.980 So maybe their boyfriend, like she's a five, the guy's a five, got her pregnant.
00:02:01.700 She thinks she can get a seven.
00:02:04.120 For a better child, you mean?
00:02:05.340 Yeah, better child, because, I mean, when you think about it before, they used to have to, like, if you got, like, tribal days, right?
00:02:14.640 If you got captured by a different tribe, you'd literally, they would kill the children and take you.
00:02:19.200 So you'd have to adapt.
00:02:20.720 So I think that women start to regret it when they realize that was the best that they could do.
00:02:27.280 Interesting, okay.
00:02:28.100 Yeah, so it's like then they try for the six, try for the seven, try for the eight, can't get a kid off of him, can't get a relationship off of him.
00:02:34.600 Now there's regret because she could have had the kid with the five and actually passed on her genes.
00:02:42.980 It's an interesting thought.
00:02:44.160 I mean, I guess—
00:02:44.900 Because, like, women, from an evolutionary point of view, would rather be, like, the concubine of the king than the wife of the peasant.
00:02:54.280 Unfortunately, I don't say this, like—but there's a reason, like, women, you know, they're putting hot—Drake's putting hot sauce in his condoms, you know what I mean?
00:03:02.580 It's not because they think he's going to, like, give them—he's going to give them commitment, trying to get the best genes.
00:03:08.280 So I think there's a whole load of interesting stuff in evolution that we don't take seriously that affects how men and women interact.
00:03:16.400 So I think there's a whole load of interesting stuff in evolutionary history that explains the relationships between men and women that we just don't take account of.
00:03:23.020 You know, you think in all of biology, or much of biology, I should say, there's male and female, and they are different biologically, and because of their different biological circumstances, they select for different things.
00:03:38.660 You know, what is good for a woman is not necessarily what is good for a man.
00:03:43.780 Right.
00:03:44.280 And this is just a basic feature of biology.
00:03:47.480 And because people in the modern world have sort of tried to erase any biological differences between men and women, you get a lot of, like, just blindness to the fact that they might flourish in different ways and that sort of thing.
00:03:59.280 Now, that's not to say, like, you know, the most provocative thing possible.
00:04:05.380 Like, I'm not saying, like, women are supposed to spend all their time in the kitchen, men are supposed to spend all their time on the battlefield, whatever.
00:04:11.280 Like, that's not the point.
00:04:13.180 The point is that there are differences between men and women, and they prefer different things in partners on average.
00:04:19.600 They prefer different ways of living their life on average and so on.
00:04:22.760 And I don't think, you know, that's a basic statement of biological fact.
00:04:26.960 It's not, you know, like a particularly provocative thing to say, or at least it shouldn't be.
00:04:31.240 When it comes to the question of abortion and relationships, of course, the evolutionary things will make a difference when it comes to relational choices and things like that.
00:04:43.580 There's good evidence, as far as I'm aware, that, you know, women particularly prize men who will be able to look after their child and who will be able to provide materially,
00:04:54.200 because that's what many women need, particularly back in ancient evolutionary times.
00:05:00.840 And therefore, women are more attracted to, say, status or money in a man than vice versa.
00:05:08.580 That's not to say that it's, you know, it's not a generalization.
00:05:11.960 It's not always true.
00:05:12.880 But on average, that's the case.
00:05:14.840 Now, when it comes to abortion, I think that there may be elements of that and that might cause regret.
00:05:19.780 You know, certainly we know that a significant proportion of abortions, the main reason cited is that the partner was wrong.
00:05:27.680 It's not the majority of abortions, but in a significant minority of abortions, the main reason is that there was, you know,
00:05:34.640 the partner was the wrong person or he's not committed to me or some other reason relating to the guy.
00:05:40.120 I just can't imagine you're aborting a child and thinking, like, you're going to get a worse partner in the future.
00:05:47.080 You know what I mean?
00:05:47.820 Like, I don't think most women, when they have abortions, are thinking, like, I am going to get a worse person that I'm with now.
00:05:56.440 Yeah, you'd expect them to think.
00:05:58.560 Like, I don't think anybody will abort Drake's child, Chris Brown's child, any high status, Jeff Bezos.
00:06:07.280 No woman is aborting that child.
00:06:10.720 They are keeping.
00:06:11.600 What do you think Elon Musk has, like, 10 children?
00:06:15.180 Probably.
00:06:16.140 Do you think any of those women are worried about commitment?
00:06:19.460 I think, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't universally in the same way, like...
00:06:23.200 Not all, not all.
00:06:24.500 But, like...
00:06:25.020 My opinion.
00:06:25.500 Yeah, it's quite possible that...
00:06:27.560 Yeah.
00:06:29.220 But I think when we look at the evidence on the reasons for abortion, I would say that reasons relating to the partner are a significant minority, but they're not the majority.
00:06:38.700 I think the most common reasons are things like, it will disrupt my career, it will disrupt my education.
00:06:44.420 Now, that will interact with their attitude towards the guy, of course.
00:06:50.240 But I think...
00:06:51.700 Yeah, I don't think most women are consciously thinking about the partner when they make the decision.
00:06:57.940 On the other hand, we know that marriage is one of the most protective factors against abortion.
00:07:05.280 If you're in a stable, permanent, committed relationship, that is one of the strongest factors that makes a woman less likely to have an abortion.
00:07:14.700 So, this is why part of the reason that men have such an important role to play in this debate and in this discussion is because the man being there, ready to commit to the woman and to the child, and the woman ready to accept the man as a committed partner to her and to the child, that is one of the most powerful things you can have to prevent abortion.
00:07:37.380 And so, one of the things to reduce the abortion rate is encouraging men and women to form those relationships for the good of each other and for the kids.
00:07:46.220 And, you know, there's a lot of debate, whose fault is it?
00:07:49.000 That's not my issue.
00:07:49.780 You know, you know, you know my answer.
00:07:52.200 I know your answer.
00:07:53.140 That's not my issue.
00:07:54.360 The point for me is that abortion harms everyone, whoever's fault it is.
00:07:59.780 Everyone is worse off with it, and everyone needs to be acting in the right way to try and prevent it.