Most Mothers TEND To Consider THIS
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss whether or not it's selfish for a woman to have a nanny for her kids, and why it's a bad thing for a man to have one. We also talk about the role of a woman in raising her children and the importance of a maternal role model.
Transcript
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hey i did so what do you guys think it's selfish for a woman to have a nanny
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i think it's the same thing we're just talking about really someone else raising your child at
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the end of the day but it just depends on the circumstances i feel like you know what everyone's
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gonna have different perspective of this particular topic but it's whatever works for you personally
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for me if i had to choose between not choosing someone to raise my child i'd do that anyways
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even if it means i don't get my lashes on nails done but i'd rather that because that's ultimately
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that's just the most important thing when you especially when you choose to have a child
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do you see what i mean like when you choose to have a child that's 100 your responsibility you
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die by that but i see women these days letting their boyfriends kill their children it's just
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weird to me when you have a child you kill for them you know but a lot of people don't really
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have that maternal would would you guys be comfortable having a nanny for your kids then
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no no and it is selfish because what in a child's life that's the most important thing going on in
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their life if you're like one or two years old that's the most important time for them that's
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going to shape the rest of their life and for a woman to say i'm going to go and do something else
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other than like cut the crust off their sandwich or take them to the park what could be more
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important than this women defer this to go to work to make spreadsheets to go and work on an
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assembly line or whatever make a make their boss's schedule their male boss's schedule or make uh you
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know powerpoint things like that nothing could be as important as what they're contributing to their
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child's life so i yeah i think that it's basically it's mutually exclusive and i wouldn't send my
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kids to daycare i would want to pick the woman to be my wife to be the mother of my kids to raise them
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specifically to teach them to be virtuous that's the most important thing so no i wouldn't do any
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daycare and no working women either but just make sure you're able to provide as well as a man
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and do your part because we can't just all sit here i'm not i'm not flipping sides but we can't
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all sit here and say women should do this traditionally but then the men can't i would
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never you know how we talk about women to be submissive stay at home and do this and do that
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for men i will gladly do that yeah for the right for the for the man that also knows his part don't
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tell me traditionally as a woman you should be like this when you don't even know what is required of you
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as a traditional man there's no way about that and to value that woman as well 100 yeah one thing to
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say oh i've got my wife and my mom whoever at home but i'm just gonna go and do my thing and
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treat her like like that's an absolute no for me yeah we're not saying that though oh but that's
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also like that's one of the causes this is where women's like mind always goes oh it's the worst
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thing that could possibly happen but if i submit he's gonna treat me like not at all i'd love to be
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submitted but i'm saying that's the first thing that you know the first thing it's not the first
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thing but it's the general when you say they do you not do you know it's the general like i can't
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please that sounds oddly patronizing please like show like commonly all the time a relationship where
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a man is absolutely honoring his woman and he's out work and he comes home to a woman that does
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absolutely nothing other than provide for their child i don't i i maybe that is also my view on the
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world and why i've lacked attracting that to me i don't see that i've never seen that you've never
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seen what a happy marriage where it is literally just the examples that we're saying that's where
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i was raised my mom quit her job to raise me when i was a kid to a financially stable man i feel like
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you're right about that and again maybe it is down to like geography or where we're raised and who like
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because my family couldn't do that my dad was a working laboring man he couldn't just say oh you
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know you don't provide a tool like my mom had to go out and work yeah and they you know don't get me
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wrong i'm still feeling the and we have conversations about this all the time my mom chose to go out and
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work there's parts of me that did feel abandoned at times but was i raised in a happy family absolutely
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was i raised with love absolutely but i think the problem is a lot of women weren't raised to get
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traditional outcomes because we don't have traditional skills we also didn't know i'm
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saying there are traditional there are traditional men that are willing to protect and provide and
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will take care of all the bills but i'm here for wait but they're looking like as i think they would
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all be willing to to pay the bills right he wants a virgin how many girls are versions so you can you
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can qualify what i don't think they're the majority like i don't think the majority of men are
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traditional men if you if you look at it like the actual populace right we're not going to have
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that many men that didn't also come from a broken home because a lot of marriages ended in divorce
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right so as much as women are also being raised in a certain type of way so were the guys so we're
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just we're just kind of struggling a long man it's already difficult enough do you know what i i agree
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that not not all men were raised to be traditional men too but i'm saying if we are going to demand
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traditional outcomes you should have the skills to have a traditional outcome can i ask if any of
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us want just solely traditional men and for us to have the outcome now of just being a a mom and a
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wife i don't i don't i honestly do not mind i'm just i'll be honest with you i'll say whatever i need
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to say i would prefer that if my man obviously can provide for us why would i need to i'd love to be a
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stay at home mom i i want someone that i can connect with i don't want somebody to just throw
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money at me because of the current situation that we're in obviously living in the western world as
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well me being an african woman living in the western world of course i'm not being a traditional woman
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but i'd love to be because um my son's dad he's an african man too and i'm happy because i chose an
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african man because he knows his traditional ways he's responsible for me and my son so that's what would
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make me be naturally more submissive so i think this problem is more westernized and it's just
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i've just been dumped in the western world where i'm in the middle so i can actually choose so when
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you guys are talking i'm seeing it from my my my point of view and you guys's point of view too so
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that's why even when i'm talking it might look like i'm swinging here i'm just trying to make sense of
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it put myself in it and outside the box at the same time but yeah 100 percent i don't i want to be
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what were you gonna say i forgot what i was gonna say for that one to answer your original question
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um like would i let a net what i want a nanny to help out my you know my my baby mama or whatever
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with with the kids it takes a village to raise a child and i think if we look back on like our
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parents generation it wasn't just our mothers raising us it was a mother with help from her
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sister or help from her mother or like your aunties and all this stuff like if so the babysitter
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should be like the nanny should be a family and it's part of the extended family yeah so in that
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context it's totally fine to have a nanny because you've got your family to help you out but right
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now we've we're so disconnected from family now in the western world especially yeah that we don't
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have that support network anymore and that's where the problem comes from yeah but i really feel like
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we're failing to understand that in modern day society not every woman has i'm sure majority of women
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would prefer if they have children to be at home and raise their kids i don't think we all have that
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automatic privilege option why do you think that why why wouldn't they have that option because we
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the finances okay cool i agree yeah why do you but why do you i'm gonna go back to the point why do
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you think that the cost of living has gone up i don't know you're gonna tell me i will tell you
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here's one possible reason why the cost of living has gone up women coming into the workforce driving
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up wages is that a problem it's the cause of the problem that you're you're mentioning i'm just
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telling you that's one of the causes of it right and so would the idea if you want to if you want
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to if you want to undo that then women women women going back into the home would cause the the
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correction in the cost of living then it leaves a large proportion of the workforce and also women
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in yeah exactly we've got women in sciences i personally i have a genetics master's degree and
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i'm gonna go and do a phd for the next couple of years so my like i'm just i'm just providing you with
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the solution to the problem the solution is that doesn't make any sense that i don't think that
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why would you now remove individuals that are contributing to society to further ahead because
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like how much do women really contribute can we just we need the stats please we need the stats
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because i need to know which side of women did you say we're on welfare it's like 90 90 are on some
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form of assistance it's not like we're building bridges and is that women with children or without
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children because i need to know the stats before i know exactly what i'm talking about it's about 30
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of women who've got kids are on welfare at the moment but that's not actually the contribution is kids
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it's not choice having having boys having a mother having male children is their contribution because
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mozart has to be born oh my god he's he's dying as well jesus i gotta say like i gotta ask because
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you you've got a podcast you're doing this you're achieving your dreams and chasing your career
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the boys are talking about the fact that they don't want women to work but you wouldn't
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have this happiness it would probably it would probably be a red flag to certain guys a lot of
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guys okay wait wait so it's not useful to them it's not what my podcast is like a hobby to me it's
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fun i enjoy it but it's not the end all be all imagine if one of these boys came in and said you're
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not allowed to do it ever and you weren't allowed to do it from the get-go or volleyball because you
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have to stay at home that's two of your like major things that have brought like i've heard you talk
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before you talk so passionately about it no i mean i love it it's fun i love it but at the
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end of the day it's about your family before you i mean and for the right guy she probably would
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where's the right guy where are they i mean honestly it's not it's not a case of uh these
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these conversations are always kind of put in the context trying to put in this context of like the
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man forcing the woman to do something and like you can't do this and you can't do that it's not
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it should be natural it should be a natural decision like hey baby like i want to look after
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you like yeah i want you to to take care of our kids yeah i've got it don't worry but relax i'll
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take care i'll take care of it like that many women or men there's not that many men who are
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financially capable of doing that again we go back to the point i was making before why do you think
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but also but also like i said i also said this earlier there's a lot of muslim families in this
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very country that get by on the minimum wage with a lot of kids and it's a one-income household
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they like pearl said the women are perfectly happy to reduce their what what was the phrase used uh like
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lifestyle lifestyle down in lifestyle bingo because they because they value being a mother and raising a
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family over the the happiness the fleeting happiness of their lifestyle of a or a certain lifestyle but
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my question is i'm sure if you ask these women if they were able to have extra income in the family
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home and still be able to look after their family