JustPearlyThings - Most Mothers TEND To Consider THIS

00:00:00.000 hey i did so what do you guys think it's selfish for a woman to have a nanny 0.92

00:00:08.800 i think it's the same thing we're just talking about really someone else raising your child at

00:00:12.480 the end of the day but it just depends on the circumstances i feel like you know what everyone's

00:00:18.160 gonna have different perspective of this particular topic but it's whatever works for you personally

00:00:23.520 for me if i had to choose between not choosing someone to raise my child i'd do that anyways

00:00:29.200 even if it means i don't get my lashes on nails done but i'd rather that because that's ultimately

00:00:34.800 that's just the most important thing when you especially when you choose to have a child

00:00:39.440 do you see what i mean like when you choose to have a child that's 100 your responsibility you

00:00:44.640 die by that but i see women these days letting their boyfriends kill their children it's just 1.00

00:00:51.120 weird to me when you have a child you kill for them you know but a lot of people don't really

00:00:55.520 have that maternal would would you guys be comfortable having a nanny for your kids then 0.84

00:01:01.200 no no and it is selfish because what in a child's life that's the most important thing going on in

00:01:09.920 their life if you're like one or two years old that's the most important time for them that's

00:01:15.040 going to shape the rest of their life and for a woman to say i'm going to go and do something else 1.00

00:01:20.960 other than like cut the crust off their sandwich or take them to the park what could be more

00:01:25.760 important than this women defer this to go to work to make spreadsheets to go and work on an 1.00

00:01:33.920 assembly line or whatever make a make their boss's schedule their male boss's schedule or make uh you

00:01:39.600 know powerpoint things like that nothing could be as important as what they're contributing to their

00:01:45.440 child's life so i yeah i think that it's basically it's mutually exclusive and i wouldn't send my

00:01:50.800 kids to daycare i would want to pick the woman to be my wife to be the mother of my kids to raise them 1.00

00:01:57.120 specifically to teach them to be virtuous that's the most important thing so no i wouldn't do any

00:02:03.040 daycare and no working women either but just make sure you're able to provide as well as a man 0.86

00:02:07.840 and do your part because we can't just all sit here i'm not i'm not flipping sides but we can't

00:02:13.200 all sit here and say women should do this traditionally but then the men can't i would 1.00

00:02:17.920 never you know how we talk about women to be submissive stay at home and do this and do that 1.00

00:02:22.320 for men i will gladly do that yeah for the right for the for the man that also knows his part don't

00:02:28.880 tell me traditionally as a woman you should be like this when you don't even know what is required of you 1.00

00:02:34.720 as a traditional man there's no way about that and to value that woman as well 100 yeah one thing to

00:02:41.360 say oh i've got my wife and my mom whoever at home but i'm just gonna go and do my thing and

00:02:45.200 treat her like like that's an absolute no for me yeah we're not saying that though oh but that's

00:02:49.440 also like that's one of the causes this is where women's like mind always goes oh it's the worst 1.00

00:02:55.680 thing that could possibly happen but if i submit he's gonna treat me like not at all i'd love to be

00:03:03.600 submitted but i'm saying that's the first thing that you know the first thing it's not the first

00:03:07.280 thing but it's the general when you say they do you not do you know it's the general like i can't

00:03:12.960 please that sounds oddly patronizing please like show like commonly all the time a relationship where

00:03:20.640 a man is absolutely honoring his woman and he's out work and he comes home to a woman that does 0.72

00:03:25.440 absolutely nothing other than provide for their child i don't i i maybe that is also my view on the

00:03:32.400 world and why i've lacked attracting that to me i don't see that i've never seen that you've never

00:03:38.160 seen what a happy marriage where it is literally just the examples that we're saying that's where

00:03:44.000 i was raised my mom quit her job to raise me when i was a kid to a financially stable man i feel like

00:03:51.920 you're right about that and again maybe it is down to like geography or where we're raised and who like

00:03:58.720 because my family couldn't do that my dad was a working laboring man he couldn't just say oh you

00:04:05.360 know you don't provide a tool like my mom had to go out and work yeah and they you know don't get me

00:04:10.080 wrong i'm still feeling the and we have conversations about this all the time my mom chose to go out and

00:04:15.680 work there's parts of me that did feel abandoned at times but was i raised in a happy family absolutely

00:04:20.800 was i raised with love absolutely but i think the problem is a lot of women weren't raised to get

00:04:25.680 traditional outcomes because we don't have traditional skills we also didn't know i'm

00:04:31.360 saying there are traditional there are traditional men that are willing to protect and provide and

00:04:36.160 will take care of all the bills but i'm here for wait but they're looking like as i think they would

00:04:41.680 all be willing to to pay the bills right he wants a virgin how many girls are versions so you can you 0.99

00:04:48.000 can qualify what i don't think they're the majority like i don't think the majority of men are

00:04:52.640 traditional men if you if you look at it like the actual populace right we're not going to have 0.99

00:04:58.320 that many men that didn't also come from a broken home because a lot of marriages ended in divorce

00:05:03.680 right so as much as women are also being raised in a certain type of way so were the guys so we're

00:05:09.120 just we're just kind of struggling a long man it's already difficult enough do you know what i i agree

00:05:14.800 that not not all men were raised to be traditional men too but i'm saying if we are going to demand

00:05:19.600 traditional outcomes you should have the skills to have a traditional outcome can i ask if any of

00:05:28.960 us want just solely traditional men and for us to have the outcome now of just being a a mom and a

00:05:34.720 wife i don't i don't i honestly do not mind i'm just i'll be honest with you i'll say whatever i need

00:05:42.560 to say i would prefer that if my man obviously can provide for us why would i need to i'd love to be a

00:05:48.240 stay at home mom i i want someone that i can connect with i don't want somebody to just throw

00:05:52.640 money at me because of the current situation that we're in obviously living in the western world as

00:05:57.360 well me being an african woman living in the western world of course i'm not being a traditional woman

00:06:02.560 but i'd love to be because um my son's dad he's an african man too and i'm happy because i chose an

00:06:08.000 african man because he knows his traditional ways he's responsible for me and my son so that's what would

00:06:13.920 make me be naturally more submissive so i think this problem is more westernized and it's just

00:06:20.000 i've just been dumped in the western world where i'm in the middle so i can actually choose so when

00:06:24.640 you guys are talking i'm seeing it from my my my point of view and you guys's point of view too so

00:06:29.200 that's why even when i'm talking it might look like i'm swinging here i'm just trying to make sense of

00:06:33.760 it put myself in it and outside the box at the same time but yeah 100 percent i don't i want to be

00:06:39.440 what were you gonna say i forgot what i was gonna say for that one to answer your original question

00:06:44.400 um like would i let a net what i want a nanny to help out my you know my my baby mama or whatever 1.00

00:06:48.880 with with the kids it takes a village to raise a child and i think if we look back on like our

00:06:54.560 parents generation it wasn't just our mothers raising us it was a mother with help from her

00:06:59.920 sister or help from her mother or like your aunties and all this stuff like if so the babysitter

00:07:05.680 should be like the nanny should be a family and it's part of the extended family yeah so in that

00:07:10.400 context it's totally fine to have a nanny because you've got your family to help you out but right

00:07:14.000 now we've we're so disconnected from family now in the western world especially yeah that we don't

00:07:19.440 have that support network anymore and that's where the problem comes from yeah but i really feel like

00:07:22.800 we're failing to understand that in modern day society not every woman has i'm sure majority of women 1.00

00:07:28.560 would prefer if they have children to be at home and raise their kids i don't think we all have that

00:07:33.680 automatic privilege option why do you think that why why wouldn't they have that option because we

00:07:39.120 the finances okay cool i agree yeah why do you but why do you i'm gonna go back to the point why do

00:07:45.280 you think that the cost of living has gone up i don't know you're gonna tell me i will tell you

00:07:50.160 here's one possible reason why the cost of living has gone up women coming into the workforce driving 1.00

00:07:55.840 up wages is that a problem it's the cause of the problem that you're you're mentioning i'm just

00:08:00.880 telling you that's one of the causes of it right and so would the idea if you want to if you want

00:08:05.040 to if you want to undo that then women women women going back into the home would cause the the 1.00

00:08:10.880 correction in the cost of living then it leaves a large proportion of the workforce and also women 0.97

00:08:16.080 in yeah exactly we've got women in sciences i personally i have a genetics master's degree and

00:08:22.240 i'm gonna go and do a phd for the next couple of years so my like i'm just i'm just providing you with

00:08:27.520 the solution to the problem the solution is that doesn't make any sense that i don't think that

00:08:31.760 why would you now remove individuals that are contributing to society to further ahead because

00:08:36.720 like how much do women really contribute can we just we need the stats please we need the stats 1.00

00:08:46.080 because i need to know which side of women did you say we're on welfare it's like 90 90 are on some 0.96

00:08:52.320 form of assistance it's not like we're building bridges and is that women with children or without

00:08:57.920 children because i need to know the stats before i know exactly what i'm talking about it's about 30

00:09:01.760 of women who've got kids are on welfare at the moment but that's not actually the contribution is kids 0.95

00:09:08.480 it's not choice having having boys having a mother having male children is their contribution because 0.91

00:09:16.320 mozart has to be born oh my god he's he's dying as well jesus i gotta say like i gotta ask because

00:09:27.520 you you've got a podcast you're doing this you're achieving your dreams and chasing your career

00:09:31.680 the boys are talking about the fact that they don't want women to work but you wouldn't 1.00

00:09:35.280 have this happiness it would probably it would probably be a red flag to certain guys a lot of

00:09:39.840 guys okay wait wait so it's not useful to them it's not what my podcast is like a hobby to me it's

00:09:53.680 fun i enjoy it but it's not the end all be all imagine if one of these boys came in and said you're

00:09:59.040 not allowed to do it ever and you weren't allowed to do it from the get-go or volleyball because you

00:10:03.840 have to stay at home that's two of your like major things that have brought like i've heard you talk

00:10:08.480 before you talk so passionately about it no i mean i love it it's fun i love it but at the

00:10:14.400 end of the day it's about your family before you i mean and for the right guy she probably would

00:10:18.720 where's the right guy where are they i mean honestly it's not it's not a case of uh these

00:10:26.640 these conversations are always kind of put in the context trying to put in this context of like the

00:10:30.080 man forcing the woman to do something and like you can't do this and you can't do that it's not

00:10:34.160 it should be natural it should be a natural decision like hey baby like i want to look after

00:10:38.560 you like yeah i want you to to take care of our kids yeah i've got it don't worry but relax i'll

00:10:44.960 take care i'll take care of it like that many women or men there's not that many men who are

00:10:49.360 financially capable of doing that again we go back to the point i was making before why do you think

00:10:52.960 but also but also like i said i also said this earlier there's a lot of muslim families in this

00:11:03.680 very country that get by on the minimum wage with a lot of kids and it's a one-income household

00:11:09.440 they like pearl said the women are perfectly happy to reduce their what what was the phrase used uh like 1.00

00:11:15.760 lifestyle lifestyle down in lifestyle bingo because they because they value being a mother and raising a

00:11:22.240 family over the the happiness the fleeting happiness of their lifestyle of a or a certain lifestyle but

00:11:28.320 my question is i'm sure if you ask these women if they were able to have extra income in the family 1.00

00:11:32.400 home and still be able to look after their family

JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023

Most Mothers TEND To Consider THIS

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript