JustPearlyThings - December 24, 2022


Most ＂Toxic Relationships＂ Aren't Toxic


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

210.35634

Word count

1,954

Sentence count

4

Harmful content

Misogyny

24

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode we talk about the benefits of co-parenting and how it can be done in a healthy way. We also talk about why it s important to be a good parent to your children and how to deal with the pressures of being a single parent.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 what causes your personal like happiness above your kids i think it when it depends on your
00:00:05.620 situation in your household but then if the person as i said is a good dad and you're you're not a
00:00:11.980 bitter baby mom you are allowing them to sort themselves out they've got their job they've got 0.99
00:00:16.160 their place and now you're co-parent wow and the child's happy dude and the child's happy i don't
00:00:20.800 see what do you get what i mean i think there are some bitter situations where it doesn't end up
00:00:26.000 like that so then you can be like you know they're a statistic and blah blah blah but then
00:00:30.600 again if you've met if you've got somebody that you know that isn't that isn't still um bitter about it
00:00:37.620 and they have got their own things going on and they're not they're not playing child support
00:00:41.680 because again even with the child support again you only get put on child support if you're not
00:00:46.180 doing what you're meant to be doing because no you know i mean i don't know anyway we'll get back to
00:00:51.680 that but don't change the goalposts i'm gonna get to you because you know what it is yeah
00:00:55.800 a lot of women after okay you don't get married but you want to have a kid i don't get that so 1.00
00:01:03.080 you're willing to be you you want to be free that's why you want to be free but you want to have
00:01:08.580 you want to play um mommy and daddy you want to you want to play mommy and daddy but you don't want
00:01:13.620 to be locked down and i'm saying he said that not myself no because no because when you said when you
00:01:18.440 said um that means i'm controlling it's not necessarily controlling you if you're all right
00:01:23.300 would you expect your mom inside of a rave dotty whining on instagram showing her body like your 1.00
00:01:30.380 mom you couldn't even picture it in your head because that's just a different generation but
00:01:34.040 you gotta remember these kids that are coming up are gonna have to watch their mom on instagram
00:01:38.280 doing only fans doing like that generation a lot of our grandparents stayed in situations i didn't
00:01:45.660 really want to be in exactly but the results are better yeah like they weren't happy i mean but
00:01:51.500 like to me like to me it's always about the kids yeah so like my grandparents like i'm not going to
00:01:57.720 put out their business but there's a lot of reasons in 2022 a lot of people would have said they got
00:02:01.420 divorced but they raised 13 beautiful kids and put that first yeah and to me there's very few reasons
00:02:07.680 why and maybe it's because i'm i don't have kids and maybe i don't understand i don't know but i just
00:02:12.000 think there's very few reasons why you would break up a home yeah especially especially like if he's
00:02:16.540 got a good job and he's and he's in the kids lives like it sounds like he's a good dude but i also
00:02:21.560 believe that you need to also be happy in love and doing it for the right reasons not just for
00:02:28.440 financial of course the financial and generational wealth is important but if you can if you are in a
00:02:34.720 position to separate and still build and still co-parent and still the child still getting the benefits of
00:02:40.060 both families and still getting that time again that time i don't think and see that sounds really
00:02:46.500 nice but the problem is everyone but well no no i'm saying the problem is women need 2.5 million to 1.00
00:02:51.960 retire on one income and most girls even if they're making six figures aren't racking that up right or 1.00
00:02:57.080 getting remarried that's that's the issue and so and even in the uk i know you guys have like bailout
00:03:03.000 programs but what if one day those are gone and poof you have to figure it out on your own
00:03:06.760 is like oh there's gonna women are the highest growing um homeless population i think uh in my 0.60
00:03:14.140 personal opinion i think a lot of women get sold the a fairy tale version of a relationship which is 1.00
00:03:19.100 why they're the ones to break off the relationship most of the time i think the fairy tale disney
00:03:24.140 version hollywood version of a relationship is what women have been sold and so what happens is when 1.00
00:03:28.540 you get into a relationship um you realize that it's actually work it's not like you saw on a disney
00:03:34.640 program it's not like you saw in hollywood it's not like the films told you this is work and a lot
00:03:39.360 of women are like well this is not what i signed up for i was sold that prince charming was going to 0.97
00:03:42.840 come sweep me off my feet give me the great life 2.5 2.4 children the white picket fence and doves and
00:03:48.740 rainbows and all this kind of stuff and then you realize hang on a minute we've got children we got
00:03:52.840 debts to pay i mean we got a mortgage all of this stuff and i just think that a lot of women today 1.00
00:03:58.000 have been sold a hollywood ideal of a relationship which is the reason why they're breaking
00:04:02.680 not just breaking off relationships but breaking families apart yeah because to me like love
00:04:08.140 shouldn't really matter when you have kids like do you guys agree disagree at what point does a woman 1.00
00:04:15.240 have permission to leave a relationship because it's toxic you know i come from a two-parent household so
00:04:20.760 i don't know if i can speak too tough on the subject but if the relationship at home is breaking down
00:04:26.600 it's not working what what then um but allow the woman to leave because children growing up in a 1.00
00:04:33.760 toxic household can't be much better than people growing up with a single parent that's co-parenting
00:04:38.500 well you know so like that's true but the numbers the numbers don't support what you're saying yeah so
00:04:44.820 the numbers it's really clear single parent households are worse off than two parent households
00:04:50.600 and to me personally i would say cheating if it's like to the crazy right um i think abuse for sure
00:05:01.260 um but honestly like most things can be worked out and if you're in a toxic relationship like you have
00:05:07.160 to look internally because it takes two to tango and you attract what you are thank you so if you so
00:05:11.540 if you find yourself in toxic relationship after toxic relationship it's something you have to look
00:05:15.400 inside like you chose the partner like i don't like everyone's getting away from this you are allowed
00:05:20.740 to get you are allowed to choose who the kid like who the father of your kid is so after complaining
00:05:26.700 that he's a deadbeat is waste of time for my ears because you chose him you chose him it's like saying
00:05:32.140 art like if i was if say for example men were the ones that have kids would you like it if every time
00:05:39.340 we had casual sex you had the chance of getting pregnant and you had no say on whether 0.82
00:05:45.280 or not your your kid is brought into the world whether or not your situation is all right whether
00:05:50.060 or not you're drunk and just having casual sex whether or not it's like you have no control
00:05:55.080 then isn't that on you to choose who you sleep with but that's the same way for women because you 1.00
00:05:59.780 right so if you but the problem is women are incentivized to make bad decisions so women women 1.00
00:06:06.480 are literally paid out so if they if they break up a family they get child support correct and if they if
00:06:11.500 they catch a kid by a rich enough guy they get paid out and so women are literally paid to make 1.00
00:06:17.800 bad decisions in the uk you can i remember when i was young there were girls that got pregnant so they
00:06:24.500 could get a house do you know i mean there were girls that got pregnant so they could get money 1.00
00:06:28.100 because you get money you get a free house you get free money every every week and as long as the
00:06:33.580 man is not within the household you're good so like you said they're incentivized to make these
00:06:38.300 decisions and say okay cool well i don't need a man around fine i've just got me and my child
00:06:43.220 but isn't that also a system thing as well yeah because that happened right in the late 70s 80s
00:06:49.860 early 80s that's when it all kind of started yeah no it's i think it's a rotten system because i don't
00:06:56.340 understand why you're entitled to a man's money it's a rotten system because we we make it like i like i i hate
00:07:02.460 i hate when women say that bro um society the system it's like we are that people so if we 1.00
00:07:11.420 want it to be a different way it will be a different way but we don't want it to be a different way
00:07:15.140 because women are comfortable with the way it is as it is i'm telling you they're absolutely 0.83
00:07:19.700 comfortable with it they're winning right now yeah and it's not it's not so the welfare state you've
00:07:25.600 got to realize was created to stop women from being cast out because you know in the victorian times
00:07:30.340 if you had a bastard child you'd be out destitute on the street the church would have to take women 1.00
00:07:34.600 in so we we may create the system to make sure women is going to poverty right but what it's 1.00
00:07:39.820 happening now it's been abused but was that before after feminism before before right so now we've set 0.99
00:07:46.740 the rules when when did that happen the 1870s okay that's around the same time no but in the sense
00:07:52.860 of this if okay before the rules of women having the right to be equal it wasn't like men was like
00:08:00.200 oh you're just a slave in my room no we said there's certain things that are for women and 1.00
00:08:04.580 certain things are for men benefits and disadvantages well women didn't have to fight in wars 1.00
00:08:08.560 right exactly they didn't have to do hard jobs didn't have to climb chimneys and do nothing they
00:08:13.840 like okay so you're locked in the house okay your guy is locked in a factory he's locked in a pit
00:08:20.320 like they say oh you know it's like oh they locked us up the guy was he didn't have minimum wage he
00:08:26.320 didn't have like he didn't have no safety measures he was working trying to pay for his
00:08:31.180 family like way we how we fantasize how back in the day was like we lived there like we just came
00:08:36.380 from the revolution it's like no none of us lived there so when you say society was this way it's
00:08:40.380 like no no that's how this is how it is now that's how we want it to be yeah there's too many feminists 1.00
00:08:46.460 and too many male feminists you know i also want to ask i want to ask um the guys here and the one 1.00
00:08:51.360 mother we have right um so you've already got a child and you're you've got someone new what
00:08:59.160 obligation as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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