JustPearlyThings - March 23, 2023


Most Women Don't Know THIS


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

197.29497

Word count

1,979

Sentence count

164

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week we're talking about a woman who can't have children because she's not a good mother because she doesn't want to have children. We also talk about how to balance a career and a family and how to deal with the pressures of being a wife and mother.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 This woman is deeply, deeply unhappy.
00:00:02.260 It's actually really quite sad to see that because it's a giant cope.
00:00:06.560 And there's two things here, right?
00:00:08.220 One, happiness is a fleeting emotion.
00:00:11.960 Happiness is not the same as fulfillment, right?
00:00:15.240 I can be happy by having a drink of alcohol.
00:00:17.580 I can be happy by shooting up heroin, right?
00:00:20.900 It doesn't mean it's good for me long-term.
00:00:23.460 Happy, especially a lot of women, will just chase this negative rabbit hole of happiness, 1.00
00:00:28.320 endless happiness, stimulation, stimulation, stimulation, right?
00:00:31.260 They're not chasing fulfillment.
00:00:33.240 And I think women do not have any greater fulfillment in their life than when they have a family,
00:00:39.160 when they have kids.
00:00:39.880 Then they find their purpose in life.
00:00:41.360 Then they have true fulfillment.
00:00:43.040 And every woman I've seen who is a grandmother, a great-grandmother, they are so fulfilled.
00:00:49.820 They're all so happy, but more importantly, they're fulfilled because they can look around
00:00:54.880 a room and see all of the human beings that came because of their sacrifice, because being
00:01:01.620 a mother is a sacrifice, but that is because of them, right? 1.00
00:01:05.640 And the second thing, it's really sad that this woman feels like she has to propagate 0.99
00:01:10.480 the brainwashing that she received that led to her demise, that led to her leaving such
00:01:14.760 an unfulfilling and sad life, unfortunately.
00:01:17.080 And I genuinely feel sorry for her because she bought the lie, but the problem is that
00:01:22.280 now she feels inclined to perpetuate the lie again and again and again, and can try to
00:01:27.840 convince herself through public approval and public attention that her bad decisions weren't
00:01:32.940 bad decisions.
00:01:35.000 What happens if she wasn't able to have kids? 1.00
00:01:38.480 I was just about to ask.
00:01:39.460 That's tragic.
00:01:40.480 Yeah.
00:01:40.780 It's really tragic.
00:01:41.400 Then she can adopt.
00:01:42.960 No, I know, but like, do you know, like it's so hard to think what one person might feel
00:01:49.420 like if they feel inadequate and because a woman's job is to have children, like, you know, 0.78
00:01:54.200 if you can't do that one thing.
00:01:57.140 I mean, I know someone that can't have kids and I would say she does feel inadequate and 0.62
00:02:01.660 it was devastating and it was probably like the worst news she probably ever could have
00:02:04.880 gotten.
00:02:05.380 Yeah.
00:02:05.600 It was horrible.
00:02:06.560 But like, when I see that, like, and I do feel the same, I feel sorry because it does
00:02:11.080 look like she's projecting that, but it's like, if that's her coping mechanism, baby,
00:02:17.660 have fun.
00:02:18.660 She had abortions too. 0.92
00:02:21.000 Right.
00:02:21.400 Right.
00:02:21.620 So she, there was a choice.
00:02:22.700 I don't know.
00:02:24.320 Yeah.
00:02:24.840 That was just an example.
00:02:25.780 Yeah.
00:02:26.160 I mean, life isn't fair.
00:02:27.740 Like some people are born with like no legs.
00:02:29.880 No, it isn't.
00:02:30.360 Some people are born blind.
00:02:31.380 Some people are born deaf.
00:02:32.200 You know, like some women are born without the ability to conceive. 1.00
00:02:35.620 Like life ain't fair, unfortunately.
00:02:37.260 So there's always going to be someone who gets the raw end of the deal.
00:02:39.740 For sure.
00:02:41.680 Can a woman pursue a career in a family at the same time without making sacrifices? 1.00
00:02:50.840 Not in today's society, Babs.
00:02:54.220 I think not ever.
00:02:55.700 I think even the women, us modern women that are doing it now, it's just, it's a huge sacrifice.
00:03:01.700 Back then, I think it was a thing where you're a mother, you're a wife.
00:03:06.360 That's just like, that should be your number one priority.
00:03:09.200 I can't afford to live like that anymore, though.
00:03:12.000 Exactly.
00:03:12.820 But then again, that's the situation we found ourselves in.
00:03:15.520 And in this day and age, you can either do one or you can do both.
00:03:19.960 You can either just stick to the olden days, be the woman at home or whatever, or you can try to do both. 1.00
00:03:25.140 But doing both, you are going to sacrifice a lot of time, energy, money, and stuff.
00:03:30.080 So it's a lot.
00:03:31.820 It's a lot.
00:03:32.320 You're going to have to, you're going to have to, you can't do equally the same for both.
00:03:37.040 You're going to have to be one or the other.
00:03:38.920 And if you're not watching the kids, who is?
00:03:41.360 Yeah.
00:03:41.860 Is it a nanny? 0.98
00:03:42.640 Immigrant.
00:03:43.340 Yeah.
00:03:44.320 Yeah.
00:03:45.640 Is he trying to get a band?
00:03:47.860 Yeah.
00:03:49.000 That's just true.
00:03:49.800 To be fair, I have a child and what is it?
00:03:55.400 I was at uni and I decided to like work on the side as well because I got a really good job.
00:04:02.080 But the career that I wanted to go into was selling property.
00:04:04.900 So I got that job and I had one last year of uni and I had a child.
00:04:09.660 So I thought I could do all three, which was silly of me.
00:04:13.600 But then I found that my son at the age of two spent like long hours in nursery and that costs like a thousand pounds a month alone.
00:04:21.180 And then I got to a point I'm like, wait, you're actually being silly.
00:04:24.100 You can't do it all.
00:04:25.560 You need to give one up.
00:04:27.000 So obviously I had to stop the job, even though it was like the last thing that I'd rather, I wanted to give up.
00:04:33.120 That's why it took me so long and I sacrificed so much.
00:04:35.520 But I'm like, I'm not even enjoying the job anymore because I'm not choosing the things that as a woman I should be prioritizing.
00:04:43.840 So when I gave that up, I was a bit more like happier.
00:04:47.260 I could spend more time with my son, focus more on my uni, get the grades that I needed.
00:04:52.520 So it just shows you there.
00:04:54.460 Do you feel like your son was happier?
00:04:56.360 What, in nursery?
00:04:57.280 No, home.
00:04:58.740 Oh, 100%.
00:04:59.760 I would say I'll put my hands up and say that's something that I had to go through to know, to understand, because I just thought, you know what?
00:05:06.740 Yeah, this age that he is, his friends are in nursery and stuff.
00:05:10.260 But I realized that the week that I stopped working and I spent more time with him, I realized stuff that I never really acknowledged.
00:05:18.340 And he was really, really sad.
00:05:19.980 I literally sat down in his bed.
00:05:21.440 I was crying.
00:05:22.060 I was like, I'm never going to work again.
00:05:23.880 And you don't know who's influencing your kids.
00:05:26.660 Yeah, who's raising them.
00:05:27.580 That's where you get, like, even I have a little sister and, like, I come from a pretty conservative background.
00:05:33.420 And she came out like a raging liberal out of high school because she had some, it was like a horseback riding teacher that was like this hippie. 1.00
00:05:40.040 Yeah.
00:05:41.860 And now she's like, free love.
00:05:43.420 And we're like, where did this come from?
00:05:46.060 That is so true.
00:05:47.140 She's got all these tattoos. 0.99
00:05:47.980 I'm like, what the?
00:05:48.540 No, that is so true.
00:05:51.240 Because at that point, I realized that, oh, actually, someone else is raising my son, even though to society and this day and age, it's like, oh, he's a nursery.
00:06:00.740 You have to work.
00:06:01.420 You have to do this.
00:06:02.100 But no, I'd rather actually be the typical woman at home that takes care of my child. 0.96
00:06:06.260 So then I know that I have a part in him being raised and what's going into his head.
00:06:11.800 He started speaking, saying the words that I've never heard him speak about, certain conversations we're having after.
00:06:18.740 And I was like, I don't know my child.
00:06:20.820 I could sadly say that I did not know my child.
00:06:23.100 Because it wasn't your child at that point.
00:06:24.400 It was the state's child.
00:06:25.520 Basically, they were raising him with that small £1,000 a month.
00:06:30.400 It wasn't worth it at all.
00:06:32.780 Do you not think that having diverse friendship groups is important for a child to grow?
00:06:39.560 Not really.
00:06:40.580 Because don't you reckon, like, when we travel the world, right, I love that you're, like, shaking your head, ready, and like, oh, I'm ready.
00:06:47.380 I'm going to gear up for this motherfucker.
00:06:49.640 But, like, you know, all of us are adults.
00:06:51.540 We've all traveled the world.
00:06:52.600 We've got to meet new people.
00:06:54.200 We've had a great time.
00:06:55.520 And in that has meant that our personality and our person has grown.
00:06:59.700 Then why can't you teach all of that to your child?
00:07:01.960 I'm not saying why not.
00:07:03.300 I'm definitely not.
00:07:04.400 Absolutely not.
00:07:05.320 You don't need a million different influencers to tell them what to do.
00:07:08.000 Not at all.
00:07:09.000 Not at all.
00:07:09.800 But part of that comes from playing with other friends.
00:07:13.700 And, you know, having experiences from working.
00:07:15.720 That's very different.
00:07:16.540 Like, having your child having friends is totally, totally different from the state.
00:07:21.780 As in, you know, schools or nannies or, you know, whatever, like, these examples we've given.
00:07:26.220 It's very different from them influencing your child with a certain doctrine and a certain worldview and certain values.
00:07:32.380 That's very, very different.
00:07:33.100 Because you want your child to have the whole, ideally, I would hope, wholesome values that you and your partner believe in.
00:07:40.860 Because you want them to be your kid.
00:07:42.660 Because at the end of the day, that's your child.
00:07:44.900 That's one thing I realized.
00:07:45.860 Because if you don't protect your children in certain specific ways when they're growing up, even if they end up being fucked up or being influenced by something, even slightly so small, that's your child that is fucked, not them.
00:07:58.020 So I would say that I'm really glad I didn't grow up to be like my mum.
00:08:03.140 I'm just going to say that with all the love to her.
00:08:06.180 She did some pretty bad things.
00:08:08.660 Would you want your kids to grow up to be like you?
00:08:11.480 I'd like them to make their own choices, to a degree.
00:08:14.360 You think it can't just make their own choices?
00:08:16.040 I think that I'm going to help, for sure.
00:08:19.260 But if my kid's like, fuck you, I don't want to stay at home, I don't want to do this kind of like education.
00:08:24.940 What if he's 12?
00:08:25.900 Are you going to let him go?
00:08:27.440 Make his own choice in the world?
00:08:29.300 I think that's a bit of a sweeping generalization.
00:08:33.160 I'm putting it into reality.
00:08:37.220 So you said you want your kids to make your own choices.
00:08:39.200 So I'm saying a 12-year-old wants to make his own choice.
00:08:41.900 He's going out into the world.
00:08:42.880 So I think what the container might be is like we're worried that it's going to be a completely different upbringing.
00:08:47.800 Like we're going to bring in wholesome values and then the kid's going to go off and go, oh, I'm going to go do tattoos or I'm going to go in like...
00:08:54.220 It happens.
00:08:54.820 I've seen it happen in my own house.
00:08:56.640 With your sister, right?
00:08:57.840 Yeah, I've seen it happen.
00:09:00.420 Why do you think like there'll be conservative Christian parents if they come home with these liberal-ass kids? 0.51
00:09:05.160 Who taught them that?
00:09:06.060 Is she happy, your sister?
00:09:07.600 I think that's what it comes down to, right?
00:09:10.940 No, I would say she struggled more with mental health than any of my other siblings.
00:09:13.480 She's confused.
00:09:14.400 That's what happens.
00:09:15.180 Confusion happens.
00:09:16.020 Do you think that's like correlation or causation?
00:09:18.680 I think the liberals caused it.
00:09:20.160 Yeah.
00:09:20.460 Yeah.
00:09:21.320 Yeah.
00:09:22.020 Yeah.
00:09:22.380 Yeah.
00:09:22.440 I think my sister was a baby loving, wanted to be a nurse, wanted all these, like, she's
00:09:33.060 probably more naturally, like motherly than any of the girls.
00:09:36.860 I would say she's a better cook than all of us. 1.00
00:09:38.560 She's better with babies than all of us. 0.96
00:09:40.520 She's like the most natural mother and the liberals got her. 0.91
00:09:43.780 Destroyed her.
00:09:44.540 Just got her.
00:09:45.320 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:09:52.180 this platform.
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