JustPearlyThings - March 22, 2023


Most Women Only OFFER This As Wives


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

213.39359

Word count

2,597

Sentence count

292

Harmful content

Misogyny

17

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what a wife should and shouldn t do when it comes to being a housewife. We also talk about who should pay and who should not pay for the housework when a husband or wife is the primary breadwinner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Okay. Um, what about you? What, what kind of wife do you want to be? 1.00
00:00:04.020 I feel like, um, I was born quite maternal, quite wifely. And I,
00:00:09.220 sometimes it's a con cause you carry wifely duties before they're needed. 1.00
00:00:14.820 So when I am a wife, um, I have kind of similar views.
00:00:19.800 I'll, you know,
00:00:20.900 I want to raise my children to a certain age and then they can get into
00:00:23.740 education or whatever. Um, if during that time,
00:00:27.720 my man is the provider, then I'll have to step up and do most homely things.
00:00:32.200 But then when I do continue to go back to work or start providing also,
00:00:36.460 whether it's for everyone or just, you know, partly, um,
00:00:40.480 I'd want him to step in slightly more and maybe one night help with the cooking or
00:00:45.160 unload the dishwasher. I don't think it should be all on me. Um, but yeah,
00:00:50.240 I'm a very giving person. I'm very caring, nurturing person.
00:00:52.740 So whatever he needs, if he needs help within his work, you know, I'll always try.
00:00:56.360 I won't, I won't ever say no or decline anything. I always try.
00:00:59.900 Okay. Could I, could I get more specifics? Cause this is just very broad.
00:01:03.860 Specific in what?
00:01:04.800 Like what, what exactly you would do every day, like as a wife. 0.99
00:01:09.640 And you said like, you did this stuff at like wifey things at girlfriend. 0.98
00:01:13.160 Oh yeah. What does that mean?
00:01:14.120 I cook, I clean, you know, I'd, I'd wake up, make the bed.
00:01:17.480 Do you think, do you think a man paying for a date is doing husband things at
00:01:21.260 boyfriend prices?
00:01:22.880 Hmm. Do I think a man paying for a date is that doing husband things at 0.56
00:01:27.860 boyfriend prices? Cause a lot of times I think like we say we cooked,
00:01:31.040 we cleaned and that's, that's wifey things at girlfriend prices, 1.00
00:01:34.420 but then they protect and provide possibly. Yeah. Okay.
00:01:38.260 So you think a man shouldn't pay unless he marries you? 0.99
00:01:42.180 No, I don't think that, but if it, you know,
00:01:44.180 I'm choosing to cook and clean, you can choose to pay. If you want to pay,
00:01:47.760 if you don't want to pay, I'm not getting onto you about that.
00:01:50.280 Same way if I don't cook, you're not going to get onto me about that.
00:01:52.940 We're not at that level yet.
00:01:54.320 They might get onto you about it.
00:01:55.760 They might, they have the choice to, but I also have the choice to, you know,
00:02:00.100 but I feel like if you don't display that you can do those things and you're not
00:02:03.080 going to get to that marriage stage,
00:02:06.680 start looking after the kids, not necessarily,
00:02:09.080 but I just mean like the cooking and the cleaning.
00:02:11.540 That's a slippery slope though.
00:02:13.160 Cause the women then like, 1.00
00:02:14.720 they want to show you all they've got in their locker and then the man's like,
00:02:18.140 Oh, I might as well just chill like this.
00:02:19.880 Can I just, they get used to it.
00:02:21.800 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 Can I just ask something?
00:02:22.580 Why is it that when women talk about doing stuff for a man, 1.00
00:02:25.220 the first thing they talk about is cooking and cleaning,
00:02:26.900 like a man can't do it himself.
00:02:29.060 They never talk about, I want to hear,
00:02:30.460 but the men can cook and clean nowadays.
00:02:32.580 If a man can't cook and clean, you shouldn't be with them. 1.00
00:02:34.640 Your husband can cook and clean.
00:02:36.020 He's quite capable of looking after himself.
00:02:38.200 So they're just talking about doing something that a man can already do for himself.
00:02:43.160 So what's the next suggestion?
00:02:45.080 I don't think there's any right or wrong answer for that.
00:02:46.920 I think everyone's, everyone's marriage is going to be different.
00:02:49.480 I think we're all saying the right things.
00:02:52.340 Personally, that's how I feel.
00:02:53.660 I think just add to each other's life. 0.90
00:02:55.380 When you're not getting married, invite me, please.
00:02:57.040 I'd like to see it.
00:02:57.920 That's all I'm saying.
00:02:59.020 Invite me.
00:02:59.880 I can't wait to get married.
00:03:01.300 I can't wait for you to get married.
00:03:02.780 I'd love you to get married.
00:03:03.480 I can't wait for you to get married.
00:03:04.940 I can't wait for your life.
00:03:05.660 What would you suggest adding to the resume?
00:03:08.580 I know there's some things that we've been working on, like we're making a cookbook.
00:03:13.020 I think they need to borrow their nieces and nephews during the half term.
00:03:19.420 It's half term.
00:03:20.340 If they live on their own, then get a couple of days off.
00:03:23.480 Have them around.
00:03:24.120 Let the parents just leave them there.
00:03:25.740 Then get on with it.
00:03:26.520 Listen, I understand it's not just cooking and cleaning.
00:03:30.940 Like, I've, for example, been a nanny before.
00:03:33.820 And give him sex every night as well. 0.83
00:03:35.540 Yeah.
00:03:35.900 On top of the cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids and doing the shopping and getting all the delivery done.
00:03:41.680 And sorting out all his paperwork and stuff.
00:03:43.260 Is that what we were missing, sex?
00:03:46.260 What do you think a man would say?
00:03:49.240 That's what merging your life is.
00:03:50.740 You've decided to merge both your lives together and then you just work through it.
00:03:57.900 It's not like you have one role and I have one role.
00:04:00.360 We're just, we're doing it.
00:04:01.960 Whatever fits.
00:04:03.120 I do feel, I think in my marriage, I definitely feel like there would be set roles.
00:04:10.460 I was going to say, if the man was at home all day and you've got all them kids in there,
00:04:14.200 are you still going to fit in sex room, do you?
00:04:16.760 Yeah, when they're napping.
00:04:18.880 What if they don't nap?
00:04:21.460 It's those ways around it.
00:04:23.900 Don't help her out.
00:04:26.040 I think the kids love like, what is it?
00:04:27.720 Cocoa melon and whatever.
00:04:29.260 Cocoa melon.
00:04:30.240 Grace.
00:04:30.880 Grace is cool now.
00:04:32.220 Then walking.
00:04:32.880 Yeah, she's cool now.
00:04:34.140 Then walking, you know, jump around things, whatever.
00:04:37.300 All the comments are saying that these answers are very vague.
00:04:41.300 I don't even know what they're saying.
00:04:44.980 Well, I'm not going to go into like, you know, sexual detail.
00:04:47.260 As a non-married woman, those people saying I'm being vague, I would wake up, make sure everyone's alive and well.
00:04:56.400 I'd start going about my day.
00:04:58.620 Think about what I'm going to do.
00:04:59.520 If I have children, I'm getting them ready.
00:05:01.160 If my husband's going to work and I'm still looking after the kids at home, he can go off to work.
00:05:04.820 You okay?
00:05:05.240 Have you eaten?
00:05:05.880 Cool.
00:05:06.520 Let me know about your day.
00:05:08.200 Be on about your way.
00:05:09.600 I'll take care of the kids.
00:05:10.540 If you've got any stuff coming up, try to take them for a walk.
00:05:13.340 Hopefully the dishwasher's done by the night before.
00:05:15.420 Empty it out.
00:05:16.700 Go about my business.
00:05:17.280 Think about what I'm going to cook.
00:05:18.260 Look in the fridge.
00:05:19.020 Start preparing that.
00:05:20.160 One's watching TV.
00:05:21.160 One's in their little walker.
00:05:24.100 Go about my day.
00:05:25.300 It's lovely.
00:05:26.160 How's your day as it is now?
00:05:28.440 Don't forget to change your nappies.
00:05:30.160 Living now.
00:05:31.120 All right, then.
00:05:31.560 Let me just see if this matches, right?
00:05:33.840 Go on.
00:05:34.180 You wake up early in the morning.
00:05:35.540 I'm just talking as a grandparent when I've got the grandkids, right?
00:05:39.020 I'll be getting dinner ready the night before.
00:05:41.000 So I wake up about half four in the morning, do me meditation for an hour, half four in
00:05:45.840 the morning.
00:05:45.860 Not an hour.
00:05:46.680 Oh, my gosh.
00:05:47.340 You can stay focused for that long.
00:05:49.380 Exactly.
00:05:49.840 That's your problem.
00:05:51.180 One hour, and I do half past four in the morning.
00:05:54.700 And then I will start getting, the clothes will be sorted from the night before, dinner
00:05:59.080 ready from the night before.
00:06:00.140 Pearl knows that my dinner's cooked by nine o'clock in the morning.
00:06:03.320 And while the dinner's cooking, the kids are dressed, they're washed, and they're
00:06:06.640 dressed.
00:06:07.420 And then we all have breakfast together.
00:06:09.720 And then I might have to take them out or do some kind of work with them, like go out
00:06:12.820 in the garden and do bits in the garden.
00:06:14.620 Then it's lunch.
00:06:15.560 Then it's painting.
00:06:16.360 Then it's crafts.
00:06:16.960 And you've got to clear up.
00:06:18.800 And then you've got to think about calming down.
00:06:21.360 Everybody have dinner together.
00:06:22.400 You've still got the washing up.
00:06:23.180 You've still got the washing to do.
00:06:24.500 You've still got the housework to do.
00:06:26.200 And get the kids ready for bed.
00:06:28.740 Sort out dinner for the next day.
00:06:30.360 Spend time with your husband.
00:06:31.420 You've still got to give him good sex. 0.88
00:06:33.480 And still wake up early in the morning.
00:06:34.860 Does that sound like a day?
00:06:37.380 Add the extras that you put in.
00:06:39.020 Because I know you're busier than that.
00:06:40.180 I'm just the grandmother.
00:06:41.320 In my head, that's what the day sounds like.
00:06:43.200 I just couldn't get it out because I don't live that life.
00:06:46.700 But that's what I can imagine.
00:06:47.820 No, I know.
00:06:48.320 That's what I'm trying to...
00:06:49.120 Because it sounds like, oh, wonderful.
00:06:51.480 But I just want to show you reality.
00:06:53.940 But it's not wonderful.
00:06:54.800 Motherhood tactic. 1.00
00:06:55.720 Yeah, I don't think it's wonderful at all.
00:06:57.260 You've got one baby in one hand.
00:06:58.380 You're trying to stir something in the other.
00:06:59.600 I understand that.
00:07:00.320 It is wonderful.
00:07:01.140 It is wonderful.
00:07:01.820 Like, it's wonderful.
00:07:02.740 But at the same time, like, I'm not saying it's going to be this easy, smooth ride.
00:07:06.440 And I'm just going to be like, oh, wake up in the morning.
00:07:08.260 I'm going to look after my kids.
00:07:09.380 And like, no.
00:07:10.640 Obviously, you are going to go through your own internal struggles and battles and mental as well.
00:07:16.100 But I'm just saying that.
00:07:16.660 Nobody cares about that when you're a wife and a mother. 0.99
00:07:18.760 I'm just saying that I don't mind.
00:07:20.660 I want to hear what...
00:07:22.360 Wait, could we...
00:07:23.580 Oh, yeah, the day.
00:07:24.240 No, I want you to go.
00:07:25.480 Because they've both been married.
00:07:26.820 So they could both...
00:07:27.960 So I want to do the single people first. 1.00
00:07:29.940 Okay.
00:07:30.680 What kind of wife do you want to be? 1.00
00:07:32.200 Oh, off the...
00:07:33.960 Sorry, I did that thing where you breathe in the mic.
00:07:35.900 I think off the basis of my previous relationships and from what I've learned, because I've never been married,
00:07:42.960 I think I could provide emotional support, moral support.
00:07:52.020 Specific.
00:07:53.420 So when you say emotional support, I need to know exactly what that is.
00:07:56.660 If you're going to come to me and tell me you have a mental disorder, or if, you know, an eating disorder...
00:08:02.160 Do you want to keep dating guys with mental disorders?
00:08:03.720 No, but, you know, I don't believe in a perfect person.
00:08:08.820 Okay, okay.
00:08:09.360 We're going to get a sane one.
00:08:10.420 But, yeah.
00:08:11.860 Right?
00:08:12.420 Right?
00:08:12.920 That's what you are, right?
00:08:13.960 Average guy.
00:08:14.540 And I just want someone lovely that doesn't stress me out.
00:08:18.360 And if I have that...
00:08:19.180 Okay, but you just picked the guy with the mental disorder.
00:08:22.380 I'm not looking.
00:08:23.500 They just find me.
00:08:24.560 Maybe it says something about me anyway.
00:08:27.760 But, okay, right.
00:08:29.120 I would provide a safe space for them to be honest with me about anything, so we can have conversations rather than arguments.
00:08:34.920 I think that's important.
00:08:36.040 That's really important.
00:08:36.940 Okay, so how would you do that?
00:08:38.720 What is that?
00:08:39.760 I'm very good at resonating with people.
00:08:42.240 I can call myself out and self-reflect.
00:08:44.060 I have the capacity to do that and know when I'm wrong.
00:08:46.300 So if he says something to you, then you'll say, I was wrong?
00:08:50.020 Yeah.
00:08:50.440 Okay.
00:08:51.040 If I was wrong, yeah.
00:08:52.760 Okay.
00:08:53.140 Because no one's going to die saying that.
00:08:55.200 Okay, so you're able to say you were wrong?
00:08:57.420 Yeah.
00:08:57.980 It's just when you're talking, it's very vague, so I'm just trying to make it more specific.
00:09:01.660 Yeah, I'll give them the safe space to know that we can have those conversations where they can call me out.
00:09:06.940 Or I can call them out and we can come to a conclusion together.
00:09:10.200 So you'll say to him, I'll admit when I'm wrong?
00:09:12.240 Yeah.
00:09:12.680 Okay.
00:09:13.440 So that's the safe space is you'll admit when you're wrong?
00:09:15.860 As long as I have that back in return for me to feel, yeah.
00:09:18.860 Yeah.
00:09:19.460 Okay.
00:09:19.880 But you won't do that unless he says I was wrong too.
00:09:22.660 I will do that, but I'd expect it back in return.
00:09:24.840 You'd expect it.
00:09:25.100 I worded that so incorrectly.
00:09:26.460 Okay.
00:09:27.340 So that, I'm very, very, very passionate.
00:09:32.860 I'm fun.
00:09:33.740 So I don't think anyone can be bored around me when they know me.
00:09:38.060 What does your day look like?
00:09:39.260 Thank you.
00:09:39.800 As a wife, what would your day look like? 1.00
00:09:41.480 You wake up in the morning.
00:09:42.180 This sounds great for a girlfriend. 1.00
00:09:44.340 Yeah, fair enough.
00:09:45.900 As a wife.
00:09:47.100 Oh God, I've never, I haven't thought this for a long time.
00:09:49.340 You're applying for a job, right?
00:09:50.940 It's like if we, if you're applying for a job, you're going to have a resume of these are the skills I've had.
00:09:55.880 This is the experience I have doing that.
00:09:57.740 So you might say like nannied for two years, that'd be great, you know, whatever.
00:10:02.080 I have been a nanny actually.
00:10:03.500 Okay.
00:10:04.080 But doesn't it really kind of depend on the person you're with to answer that question correctly?
00:10:10.660 I mean, if I apply, I could apply for a shitty job and a good job, but I'm going to interview the same.
00:10:15.920 Yeah.
00:10:16.280 It's your CV, what you're, what you're bringing to the table.
00:10:18.720 Do you mean like you want our answers to be like, oh, I'm going to cook home-cooked meals and stuff like that.
00:10:23.200 I mean, it would be nice to know exactly what home-cooked meal, like the more details, the better.
00:10:28.320 So, you know, as in what would you like?
00:10:29.260 It would predominantly be West Indian food.
00:10:31.340 If I loved someone that much to marry them, I would learn to cook what they want to eat.
00:10:36.080 I would, I would.
00:10:36.580 But my question is, what do you know now?
00:10:37.880 So again, this is like going to a job and saying, hey, I'll learn whatever you want to teach me.
00:10:43.300 And then they're like, okay, what skills and experience do you have?
00:10:45.640 And you're like, well, I'll learn whatever you say.
00:10:48.920 If, okay, I'm loyal.
00:10:50.340 I know that.
00:10:50.900 I'm very loyal.
00:10:51.760 I'm very honest.
00:10:52.880 I'm very loyal.
00:10:53.560 And those are my, those are.
00:10:54.860 She asked what your day is looking like.
00:10:56.460 Okay.
00:10:56.720 Yeah.
00:10:56.960 All right.
00:10:58.180 Um, I think it's okay to say, I don't know as well.
00:11:01.300 I don't know.
00:11:01.920 My life is very.
00:11:03.080 But I'm really not that sure.
00:11:04.620 Yeah.
00:11:04.920 That's an okay answer too.
00:11:06.320 I'm in the arts.
00:11:06.960 Like my life, I'm going to be honest, my life is chaotic.
00:11:09.140 I wouldn't want to marry me.
00:11:10.740 I would not want to marry me.
00:11:11.960 So I haven't actually thought in depth about that question.
00:11:14.140 I don't think I'm a good candidate to answer that.
00:11:16.360 Okay.
00:11:16.880 Do you want to get married there?
00:11:18.480 Yeah.
00:11:19.520 In good time, but not for a long time.
00:11:21.560 Okay.
00:11:21.740 We have a school.
00:11:24.440 Teach me.
00:11:26.080 I'm going to look into that.
00:11:27.600 Season two.
00:11:28.360 Season two.
00:11:28.840 Does the school have like husbands? 0.89
00:11:31.420 It might.
00:11:32.060 I don't know.
00:11:32.440 We're open.
00:11:33.420 We're still on season one.
00:11:34.780 Bless it.
00:11:35.620 Husband school.
00:11:36.380 Um, okay.
00:11:40.240 That's, that's good.
00:11:41.000 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:11:47.580 this platform.
00:11:48.940 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:11:52.980 So every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:11:57.200 I don't know.
00:11:57.880 All right.
00:11:58.460 Thank you.
00:11:59.020 So.
00:12:02.460 For sure.
00:12:03.560 Bye.
00:12:05.700 Bye.
00:12:06.160 Bye.
00:12:07.040 Bye.
00:12:09.280 Bye.
00:12:09.800 � Sales.