Most Women Only OFFER This As Wives
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
213.39359
Summary
In this episode, we talk about what a wife should and shouldn t do when it comes to being a housewife. We also talk about who should pay and who should not pay for the housework when a husband or wife is the primary breadwinner.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Okay. Um, what about you? What, what kind of wife do you want to be?
00:00:04.020
I feel like, um, I was born quite maternal, quite wifely. And I,
00:00:09.220
sometimes it's a con cause you carry wifely duties before they're needed.
00:00:14.820
So when I am a wife, um, I have kind of similar views.
00:00:20.900
I want to raise my children to a certain age and then they can get into
00:00:23.740
education or whatever. Um, if during that time,
00:00:27.720
my man is the provider, then I'll have to step up and do most homely things.
00:00:32.200
But then when I do continue to go back to work or start providing also,
00:00:36.460
whether it's for everyone or just, you know, partly, um,
00:00:40.480
I'd want him to step in slightly more and maybe one night help with the cooking or
00:00:45.160
unload the dishwasher. I don't think it should be all on me. Um, but yeah,
00:00:50.240
I'm a very giving person. I'm very caring, nurturing person.
00:00:52.740
So whatever he needs, if he needs help within his work, you know, I'll always try.
00:00:56.360
I won't, I won't ever say no or decline anything. I always try.
00:00:59.900
Okay. Could I, could I get more specifics? Cause this is just very broad.
00:01:04.800
Like what, what exactly you would do every day, like as a wife.
00:01:09.640
And you said like, you did this stuff at like wifey things at girlfriend.
00:01:14.120
I cook, I clean, you know, I'd, I'd wake up, make the bed.
00:01:17.480
Do you think, do you think a man paying for a date is doing husband things at
00:01:22.880
Hmm. Do I think a man paying for a date is that doing husband things at
00:01:27.860
boyfriend prices? Cause a lot of times I think like we say we cooked,
00:01:31.040
we cleaned and that's, that's wifey things at girlfriend prices,
00:01:34.420
but then they protect and provide possibly. Yeah. Okay.
00:01:38.260
So you think a man shouldn't pay unless he marries you?
00:01:44.180
I'm choosing to cook and clean, you can choose to pay. If you want to pay,
00:01:47.760
if you don't want to pay, I'm not getting onto you about that.
00:01:50.280
Same way if I don't cook, you're not going to get onto me about that.
00:01:55.760
They might, they have the choice to, but I also have the choice to, you know,
00:02:00.100
but I feel like if you don't display that you can do those things and you're not
00:02:09.080
but I just mean like the cooking and the cleaning.
00:02:14.720
they want to show you all they've got in their locker and then the man's like,
00:02:22.580
Why is it that when women talk about doing stuff for a man,
00:02:25.220
the first thing they talk about is cooking and cleaning,
00:02:32.580
If a man can't cook and clean, you shouldn't be with them.
00:02:38.200
So they're just talking about doing something that a man can already do for himself.
00:02:45.080
I don't think there's any right or wrong answer for that.
00:02:46.920
I think everyone's, everyone's marriage is going to be different.
00:02:55.380
When you're not getting married, invite me, please.
00:03:08.580
I know there's some things that we've been working on, like we're making a cookbook.
00:03:13.020
I think they need to borrow their nieces and nephews during the half term.
00:03:20.340
If they live on their own, then get a couple of days off.
00:03:26.520
Listen, I understand it's not just cooking and cleaning.
00:03:35.900
On top of the cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids and doing the shopping and getting all the delivery done.
00:03:50.740
You've decided to merge both your lives together and then you just work through it.
00:03:57.900
It's not like you have one role and I have one role.
00:04:03.120
I do feel, I think in my marriage, I definitely feel like there would be set roles.
00:04:10.460
I was going to say, if the man was at home all day and you've got all them kids in there,
00:04:14.200
are you still going to fit in sex room, do you?
00:04:34.140
Then walking, you know, jump around things, whatever.
00:04:37.300
All the comments are saying that these answers are very vague.
00:04:44.980
Well, I'm not going to go into like, you know, sexual detail.
00:04:47.260
As a non-married woman, those people saying I'm being vague, I would wake up, make sure everyone's alive and well.
00:05:01.160
If my husband's going to work and I'm still looking after the kids at home, he can go off to work.
00:05:10.540
If you've got any stuff coming up, try to take them for a walk.
00:05:13.340
Hopefully the dishwasher's done by the night before.
00:05:35.540
I'm just talking as a grandparent when I've got the grandkids, right?
00:05:41.000
So I wake up about half four in the morning, do me meditation for an hour, half four in
00:05:51.180
One hour, and I do half past four in the morning.
00:05:54.700
And then I will start getting, the clothes will be sorted from the night before, dinner
00:06:00.140
Pearl knows that my dinner's cooked by nine o'clock in the morning.
00:06:03.320
And while the dinner's cooking, the kids are dressed, they're washed, and they're
00:06:09.720
And then I might have to take them out or do some kind of work with them, like go out
00:06:18.800
And then you've got to think about calming down.
00:06:43.200
I just couldn't get it out because I don't live that life.
00:07:02.740
But at the same time, like, I'm not saying it's going to be this easy, smooth ride.
00:07:06.440
And I'm just going to be like, oh, wake up in the morning.
00:07:10.640
Obviously, you are going to go through your own internal struggles and battles and mental as well.
00:07:16.660
Nobody cares about that when you're a wife and a mother.
00:07:33.960
Sorry, I did that thing where you breathe in the mic.
00:07:35.900
I think off the basis of my previous relationships and from what I've learned, because I've never been married,
00:07:42.960
I think I could provide emotional support, moral support.
00:07:53.420
So when you say emotional support, I need to know exactly what that is.
00:07:56.660
If you're going to come to me and tell me you have a mental disorder, or if, you know, an eating disorder...
00:08:02.160
Do you want to keep dating guys with mental disorders?
00:08:03.720
No, but, you know, I don't believe in a perfect person.
00:08:14.540
And I just want someone lovely that doesn't stress me out.
00:08:19.180
Okay, but you just picked the guy with the mental disorder.
00:08:29.120
I would provide a safe space for them to be honest with me about anything, so we can have conversations rather than arguments.
00:08:44.060
I have the capacity to do that and know when I'm wrong.
00:08:46.300
So if he says something to you, then you'll say, I was wrong?
00:08:57.980
It's just when you're talking, it's very vague, so I'm just trying to make it more specific.
00:09:01.660
Yeah, I'll give them the safe space to know that we can have those conversations where they can call me out.
00:09:06.940
Or I can call them out and we can come to a conclusion together.
00:09:10.200
So you'll say to him, I'll admit when I'm wrong?
00:09:13.440
So that's the safe space is you'll admit when you're wrong?
00:09:15.860
As long as I have that back in return for me to feel, yeah.
00:09:19.880
But you won't do that unless he says I was wrong too.
00:09:22.660
I will do that, but I'd expect it back in return.
00:09:33.740
So I don't think anyone can be bored around me when they know me.
00:09:47.100
Oh God, I've never, I haven't thought this for a long time.
00:09:50.940
It's like if we, if you're applying for a job, you're going to have a resume of these are the skills I've had.
00:09:57.740
So you might say like nannied for two years, that'd be great, you know, whatever.
00:10:04.080
But doesn't it really kind of depend on the person you're with to answer that question correctly?
00:10:10.660
I mean, if I apply, I could apply for a shitty job and a good job, but I'm going to interview the same.
00:10:16.280
It's your CV, what you're, what you're bringing to the table.
00:10:18.720
Do you mean like you want our answers to be like, oh, I'm going to cook home-cooked meals and stuff like that.
00:10:23.200
I mean, it would be nice to know exactly what home-cooked meal, like the more details, the better.
00:10:31.340
If I loved someone that much to marry them, I would learn to cook what they want to eat.
00:10:37.880
So again, this is like going to a job and saying, hey, I'll learn whatever you want to teach me.
00:10:43.300
And then they're like, okay, what skills and experience do you have?
00:10:45.640
And you're like, well, I'll learn whatever you say.
00:10:58.180
Um, I think it's okay to say, I don't know as well.
00:11:06.960
Like my life, I'm going to be honest, my life is chaotic.
00:11:11.960
So I haven't actually thought in depth about that question.
00:11:14.140
I don't think I'm a good candidate to answer that.
00:11:41.000
As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:11:48.940
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:11:52.980
So every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.