JustPearlyThings - March 22, 2023


Most Women Only OFFER This As Wives

Topics
cooking and cleaning safe space conversations
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Grace Pearl
Monkey branching from a woman’s perspective Sa Ra Garvey DROPS Red Pill Truths on a 25 Year old

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

213.39

Word count

2,597

Sentence count

334

Harmful content

Misogyny

17

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what a wife should and shouldn t do when it comes to being a housewife. We also talk about who should pay and who should not pay for the housework when a husband or wife is the primary breadwinner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Okay. Um, what about you? What, what kind of wife do you want to be? 1.00
00:00:04.020 I feel like, um, I was born quite maternal, quite wifely. And I,
00:00:09.220 sometimes it's a con cause you carry wifely duties before they're needed. 1.00
00:00:14.820 So when I am a wife, um, I have kind of similar views.
00:00:19.800 I'll, you know,
00:00:20.900 I want to raise my children to a certain age and then they can get into
00:00:23.740 education or whatever. Um, if during that time,
00:00:27.720 my man is the provider, then I'll have to step up and do most homely things.
00:00:32.200 But then when I do continue to go back to work or start providing also,
00:00:36.460 whether it's for everyone or just, you know, partly, um,
00:00:40.480 I'd want him to step in slightly more and maybe one night help with the cooking or
00:00:45.160 unload the dishwasher. I don't think it should be all on me. Um, but yeah,
00:00:50.240 I'm a very giving person. I'm very caring, nurturing person.
00:00:52.740 So whatever he needs, if he needs help within his work, you know, I'll always try.
00:00:56.360 I won't, I won't ever say no or decline anything. I always try.
00:00:59.900 Okay. Could I, could I get more specifics? Cause this is just very broad.
00:01:03.860 Specific in what?
00:01:04.800 Like what, what exactly you would do every day, like as a wife. 0.99
00:01:09.640 And you said like, you did this stuff at like wifey things at girlfriend. 0.98
00:01:13.160 Oh yeah. What does that mean?
00:01:14.120 I cook, I clean, you know, I'd, I'd wake up, make the bed.
00:01:17.480 Do you think, do you think a man paying for a date is doing husband things at
00:01:21.260 boyfriend prices?
00:01:22.880 Hmm. Do I think a man paying for a date is that doing husband things at 0.56
00:01:27.860 boyfriend prices? Cause a lot of times I think like we say we cooked,
00:01:31.040 we cleaned and that's, that's wifey things at girlfriend prices, 1.00
00:01:34.420 but then they protect and provide possibly. Yeah. Okay.
00:01:38.260 So you think a man shouldn't pay unless he marries you? 0.99
00:01:42.180 No, I don't think that, but if it, you know,
00:01:44.180 I'm choosing to cook and clean, you can choose to pay. If you want to pay,
00:01:47.760 if you don't want to pay, I'm not getting onto you about that.
00:01:50.280 Same way if I don't cook, you're not going to get onto me about that.
00:01:52.940 We're not at that level yet.
00:01:54.320 They might get onto you about it.
00:01:55.760 They might, they have the choice to, but I also have the choice to, you know,
00:02:00.100 but I feel like if you don't display that you can do those things and you're not
00:02:03.080 going to get to that marriage stage,
00:02:06.680 start looking after the kids, not necessarily,
00:02:09.080 but I just mean like the cooking and the cleaning.
00:02:11.540 That's a slippery slope though.
00:02:13.160 Cause the women then like, 1.00
00:02:14.720 they want to show you all they've got in their locker and then the man's like,
00:02:18.140 Oh, I might as well just chill like this.
00:02:19.880 Can I just, they get used to it.
00:02:21.800 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 Can I just ask something?
00:02:22.580 Why is it that when women talk about doing stuff for a man, 1.00
00:02:25.220 the first thing they talk about is cooking and cleaning,
00:02:26.900 like a man can't do it himself.
00:02:29.060 They never talk about, I want to hear,
00:02:30.460 but the men can cook and clean nowadays.
00:02:32.580 If a man can't cook and clean, you shouldn't be with them. 1.00
00:02:34.640 Your husband can cook and clean.
00:02:36.020 He's quite capable of looking after himself.
00:02:38.200 So they're just talking about doing something that a man can already do for himself.
00:02:43.160 So what's the next suggestion?
00:02:45.080 I don't think there's any right or wrong answer for that.
00:02:46.920 I think everyone's, everyone's marriage is going to be different.
00:02:49.480 I think we're all saying the right things.
00:02:52.340 Personally, that's how I feel.
00:02:53.660 I think just add to each other's life. 0.90
00:02:55.380 When you're not getting married, invite me, please.
00:02:57.040 I'd like to see it.
00:02:57.920 That's all I'm saying.
00:02:59.020 Invite me.
00:02:59.880 I can't wait to get married.
00:03:01.300 I can't wait for you to get married.
00:03:02.780 I'd love you to get married.
00:03:03.480 I can't wait for you to get married.
00:03:04.940 I can't wait for your life.
00:03:05.660 What would you suggest adding to the resume?
00:03:08.580 I know there's some things that we've been working on, like we're making a cookbook.
00:03:13.020 I think they need to borrow their nieces and nephews during the half term.
00:03:19.420 It's half term.
00:03:20.340 If they live on their own, then get a couple of days off.
00:03:23.480 Have them around.
00:03:24.120 Let the parents just leave them there.
00:03:25.740 Then get on with it.
00:03:26.520 Listen, I understand it's not just cooking and cleaning.
00:03:30.940 Like, I've, for example, been a nanny before. 0.98
00:03:33.820 And give him sex every night as well. 0.99
00:03:35.540 Yeah. 0.99
00:03:35.900 On top of the cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids and doing the shopping and getting all the delivery done.
00:03:41.680 And sorting out all his paperwork and stuff.
00:03:43.260 Is that what we were missing, sex?
00:03:46.260 What do you think a man would say?
00:03:49.240 That's what merging your life is.
00:03:50.740 You've decided to merge both your lives together and then you just work through it.
00:03:57.900 It's not like you have one role and I have one role.
00:04:00.360 We're just, we're doing it.
00:04:01.960 Whatever fits.
00:04:03.120 I do feel, I think in my marriage, I definitely feel like there would be set roles.
00:04:10.460 I was going to say, if the man was at home all day and you've got all them kids in there,
00:04:14.200 are you still going to fit in sex room, do you?
00:04:16.760 Yeah, when they're napping.
00:04:18.880 What if they don't nap?
00:04:21.460 It's those ways around it.
00:04:23.900 Don't help her out.
00:04:26.040 I think the kids love like, what is it?
00:04:27.720 Cocoa melon and whatever.
00:04:29.260 Cocoa melon.
00:04:30.240 Grace.
00:04:30.880 Grace is cool now.
00:04:32.220 Then walking.
00:04:32.880 Yeah, she's cool now.
00:04:34.140 Then walking, you know, jump around things, whatever.
00:04:37.300 All the comments are saying that these answers are very vague.
00:04:41.300 I don't even know what they're saying.
00:04:44.980 Well, I'm not going to go into like, you know, sexual detail.
00:04:47.260 As a non-married woman, those people saying I'm being vague, I would wake up, make sure everyone's alive and well.
00:04:56.400 I'd start going about my day.
00:04:58.620 Think about what I'm going to do.
00:04:59.520 If I have children, I'm getting them ready.
00:05:01.160 If my husband's going to work and I'm still looking after the kids at home, he can go off to work.
00:05:04.820 You okay?
00:05:05.240 Have you eaten?
00:05:05.880 Cool.
00:05:06.520 Let me know about your day.
00:05:08.200 Be on about your way.
00:05:09.600 I'll take care of the kids.
00:05:10.540 If you've got any stuff coming up, try to take them for a walk.
00:05:13.340 Hopefully the dishwasher's done by the night before.
00:05:15.420 Empty it out.
00:05:16.700 Go about my business.
00:05:17.280 Think about what I'm going to cook.
00:05:18.260 Look in the fridge.
00:05:19.020 Start preparing that.
00:05:20.160 One's watching TV.
00:05:21.160 One's in their little walker.
00:05:24.100 Go about my day.
00:05:25.300 It's lovely.
00:05:26.160 How's your day as it is now?
00:05:28.440 Don't forget to change your nappies.
00:05:30.160 Living now.
00:05:31.120 All right, then.
00:05:31.560 Let me just see if this matches, right?
00:05:33.840 Go on.
00:05:34.180 You wake up early in the morning.
00:05:35.540 I'm just talking as a grandparent when I've got the grandkids, right?
00:05:39.020 I'll be getting dinner ready the night before.
00:05:41.000 So I wake up about half four in the morning, do me meditation for an hour, half four in
00:05:45.840 the morning.
00:05:45.860 Not an hour.
00:05:46.680 Oh, my gosh.
00:05:47.340 You can stay focused for that long.
00:05:49.380 Exactly.
00:05:49.840 That's your problem.
00:05:51.180 One hour, and I do half past four in the morning.
00:05:54.700 And then I will start getting, the clothes will be sorted from the night before, dinner
00:05:59.080 ready from the night before.
00:06:00.140 Pearl knows that my dinner's cooked by nine o'clock in the morning.
00:06:03.320 And while the dinner's cooking, the kids are dressed, they're washed, and they're
00:06:06.640 dressed.
00:06:07.420 And then we all have breakfast together.
00:06:09.720 And then I might have to take them out or do some kind of work with them, like go out
00:06:12.820 in the garden and do bits in the garden.
00:06:14.620 Then it's lunch.
00:06:15.560 Then it's painting.
00:06:16.360 Then it's crafts.
00:06:16.960 And you've got to clear up.
00:06:18.800 And then you've got to think about calming down.
00:06:21.360 Everybody have dinner together.
00:06:22.400 You've still got the washing up.
00:06:23.180 You've still got the washing to do.
00:06:24.500 You've still got the housework to do.
00:06:26.200 And get the kids ready for bed.
00:06:28.740 Sort out dinner for the next day.
00:06:30.360 Spend time with your husband. 0.99
00:06:31.420 You've still got to give him good sex. 0.99
00:06:33.480 And still wake up early in the morning. 0.98
00:06:34.860 Does that sound like a day?
00:06:37.380 Add the extras that you put in.
00:06:39.020 Because I know you're busier than that.
00:06:40.180 I'm just the grandmother.
00:06:41.320 In my head, that's what the day sounds like.
00:06:43.200 I just couldn't get it out because I don't live that life.
00:06:46.700 But that's what I can imagine.
00:06:47.820 No, I know.
00:06:48.320 That's what I'm trying to...
00:06:49.120 Because it sounds like, oh, wonderful.
00:06:51.480 But I just want to show you reality.
00:06:53.940 But it's not wonderful.
00:06:54.800 Motherhood tactic. 1.00
00:06:55.720 Yeah, I don't think it's wonderful at all.
00:06:57.260 You've got one baby in one hand.
00:06:58.380 You're trying to stir something in the other.
00:06:59.600 I understand that.
00:07:00.320 It is wonderful.
00:07:01.140 It is wonderful.
00:07:01.820 Like, it's wonderful.
00:07:02.740 But at the same time, like, I'm not saying it's going to be this easy, smooth ride.
00:07:06.440 And I'm just going to be like, oh, wake up in the morning.
00:07:08.260 I'm going to look after my kids.
00:07:09.380 And like, no.
00:07:10.640 Obviously, you are going to go through your own internal struggles and battles and mental as well.
00:07:16.100 But I'm just saying that.
00:07:16.660 Nobody cares about that when you're a wife and a mother. 0.99
00:07:18.760 I'm just saying that I don't mind.
00:07:20.660 I want to hear what...
00:07:22.360 Wait, could we...
00:07:23.580 Oh, yeah, the day.
00:07:24.240 No, I want you to go.
00:07:25.480 Because they've both been married.
00:07:26.820 So they could both...
00:07:27.960 So I want to do the single people first. 1.00
00:07:29.940 Okay.
00:07:30.680 What kind of wife do you want to be? 1.00
00:07:32.200 Oh, off the...
00:07:33.960 Sorry, I did that thing where you breathe in the mic.
00:07:35.900 I think off the basis of my previous relationships and from what I've learned, because I've never been married,
00:07:42.960 I think I could provide emotional support, moral support.
00:07:52.020 Specific.
00:07:53.420 So when you say emotional support, I need to know exactly what that is.
00:07:56.660 If you're going to come to me and tell me you have a mental disorder, or if, you know, an eating disorder... 0.93
00:08:02.160 Do you want to keep dating guys with mental disorders?
00:08:03.720 No, but, you know, I don't believe in a perfect person.
00:08:08.820 Okay, okay.
00:08:09.360 We're going to get a sane one.
00:08:10.420 But, yeah.
00:08:11.860 Right?
00:08:12.420 Right?
00:08:12.920 That's what you are, right?
00:08:13.960 Average guy.
00:08:14.540 And I just want someone lovely that doesn't stress me out.
00:08:18.360 And if I have that... 0.99
00:08:19.180 Okay, but you just picked the guy with the mental disorder. 0.90
00:08:22.380 I'm not looking. 0.95
00:08:23.500 They just find me.
00:08:24.560 Maybe it says something about me anyway.
00:08:27.760 But, okay, right.
00:08:29.120 I would provide a safe space for them to be honest with me about anything, so we can have conversations rather than arguments.
00:08:34.920 I think that's important.
00:08:36.040 That's really important.
00:08:36.940 Okay, so how would you do that?
00:08:38.720 What is that?
00:08:39.760 I'm very good at resonating with people.
00:08:42.240 I can call myself out and self-reflect.
00:08:44.060 I have the capacity to do that and know when I'm wrong.
00:08:46.300 So if he says something to you, then you'll say, I was wrong?
00:08:50.020 Yeah.
00:08:50.440 Okay.
00:08:51.040 If I was wrong, yeah.
00:08:52.760 Okay.
00:08:53.140 Because no one's going to die saying that.
00:08:55.200 Okay, so you're able to say you were wrong?
00:08:57.420 Yeah.
00:08:57.980 It's just when you're talking, it's very vague, so I'm just trying to make it more specific.
00:09:01.660 Yeah, I'll give them the safe space to know that we can have those conversations where they can call me out.
00:09:06.940 Or I can call them out and we can come to a conclusion together.
00:09:10.200 So you'll say to him, I'll admit when I'm wrong?
00:09:12.240 Yeah.
00:09:12.680 Okay.
00:09:13.440 So that's the safe space is you'll admit when you're wrong?
00:09:15.860 As long as I have that back in return for me to feel, yeah.
00:09:18.860 Yeah.
00:09:19.460 Okay.
00:09:19.880 But you won't do that unless he says I was wrong too.
00:09:22.660 I will do that, but I'd expect it back in return.
00:09:24.840 You'd expect it.
00:09:25.100 I worded that so incorrectly.
00:09:26.460 Okay.
00:09:27.340 So that, I'm very, very, very passionate.
00:09:32.860 I'm fun.
00:09:33.740 So I don't think anyone can be bored around me when they know me.
00:09:38.060 What does your day look like?
00:09:39.260 Thank you.
00:09:39.800 As a wife, what would your day look like? 1.00
00:09:41.480 You wake up in the morning.
00:09:42.180 This sounds great for a girlfriend. 1.00
00:09:44.340 Yeah, fair enough.
00:09:45.900 As a wife.
00:09:47.100 Oh God, I've never, I haven't thought this for a long time.
00:09:49.340 You're applying for a job, right?
00:09:50.940 It's like if we, if you're applying for a job, you're going to have a resume of these are the skills I've had.
00:09:55.880 This is the experience I have doing that.
00:09:57.740 So you might say like nannied for two years, that'd be great, you know, whatever.
00:10:02.080 I have been a nanny actually.
00:10:03.500 Okay.
00:10:04.080 But doesn't it really kind of depend on the person you're with to answer that question correctly?
00:10:10.660 I mean, if I apply, I could apply for a shitty job and a good job, but I'm going to interview the same.
00:10:15.920 Yeah.
00:10:16.280 It's your CV, what you're, what you're bringing to the table.
00:10:18.720 Do you mean like you want our answers to be like, oh, I'm going to cook home-cooked meals and stuff like that.
00:10:23.200 I mean, it would be nice to know exactly what home-cooked meal, like the more details, the better.
00:10:28.320 So, you know, as in what would you like?
00:10:29.260 It would predominantly be West Indian food.
00:10:31.340 If I loved someone that much to marry them, I would learn to cook what they want to eat.
00:10:36.080 I would, I would.
00:10:36.580 But my question is, what do you know now?
00:10:37.880 So again, this is like going to a job and saying, hey, I'll learn whatever you want to teach me.
00:10:43.300 And then they're like, okay, what skills and experience do you have?
00:10:45.640 And you're like, well, I'll learn whatever you say.
00:10:48.920 If, okay, I'm loyal.
00:10:50.340 I know that.
00:10:50.900 I'm very loyal.
00:10:51.760 I'm very honest.
00:10:52.880 I'm very loyal.
00:10:53.560 And those are my, those are.
00:10:54.860 She asked what your day is looking like.
00:10:56.460 Okay.
00:10:56.720 Yeah.
00:10:56.960 All right.
00:10:58.180 Um, I think it's okay to say, I don't know as well.
00:11:01.300 I don't know.
00:11:01.920 My life is very.
00:11:03.080 But I'm really not that sure.
00:11:04.620 Yeah.
00:11:04.920 That's an okay answer too.
00:11:06.320 I'm in the arts.
00:11:06.960 Like my life, I'm going to be honest, my life is chaotic.
00:11:09.140 I wouldn't want to marry me.
00:11:10.740 I would not want to marry me.
00:11:11.960 So I haven't actually thought in depth about that question.
00:11:14.140 I don't think I'm a good candidate to answer that.
00:11:16.360 Okay.
00:11:16.880 Do you want to get married there?
00:11:18.480 Yeah.
00:11:19.520 In good time, but not for a long time.
00:11:21.560 Okay.
00:11:21.740 We have a school.
00:11:24.440 Teach me.
00:11:26.080 I'm going to look into that.
00:11:27.600 Season two.
00:11:28.360 Season two.
00:11:28.840 Does the school have like husbands? 0.89
00:11:31.420 It might.
00:11:32.060 I don't know.
00:11:32.440 We're open.
00:11:33.420 We're still on season one.
00:11:34.780 Bless it.
00:11:35.620 Husband school.
00:11:36.380 Um, okay.
00:11:40.240 That's, that's good.
00:11:41.000 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:11:47.580 this platform.
00:11:48.940 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:11:52.980 So every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.
00:11:57.200 I don't know.
00:11:57.880 All right.
00:11:58.460 Thank you.
00:11:59.020 So.
00:12:02.460 For sure.
00:12:03.560 Bye.
00:12:05.700 Bye.
00:12:06.160 Bye.
00:12:07.040 Bye.
00:12:09.280 Bye.
00:12:09.800 � Sales.