JustPearlyThings - May 22, 2023


My FEMINIST Mother LIED to Me


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

194.68575

Word count

2,794

Sentence count

244

Harmful content

Misogyny

24

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about feminism and the impact it has had on our lives and the way we were brought up by our parents and how we grew up. We also talk about the role of women in society and how they have impacted our lives.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.560 Oh, your mum was a feminist? 1.00
00:00:02.160 Yes.
00:00:02.840 And she tried to install that programming into you? 0.53
00:00:05.560 She did.
00:00:06.160 Did you accept it or reject it?
00:00:08.080 Well, I went along with it and growing up,
00:00:09.760 like I was saying, I was, you know, born 1980
00:00:11.880 and then being a teenager in the nineties,
00:00:14.240 Madonna and, you know, all of that, the height.
00:00:16.880 Material girl.
00:00:17.880 Yeah, yeah, the height of feminism. 1.00
00:00:19.480 And the material world.
00:00:20.400 Yeah.
00:00:21.640 Yeah, I went along with that.
00:00:23.320 And then, you know, someone mentioned
00:00:24.880 neo-independent woman, you know,
00:00:26.800 music had a huge, yeah, Carmen mentioned that,
00:00:29.320 it had a huge impact.
00:00:30.440 And yeah, I thought that was the right way.
00:00:33.800 So I worked hard.
00:00:35.080 I mean, literally in my twenties,
00:00:37.160 I worked like 78 hours a week.
00:00:39.320 I loved my job.
00:00:40.080 Absolutely loved it.
00:00:42.320 And then I did settle down with the guy,
00:00:44.720 but I didn't get married because that wasn't a value.
00:00:47.960 Like my mum was like,
00:00:49.360 don't worry about getting married.
00:00:50.280 I have kids, just live your life.
00:00:51.760 Maybe not.
00:00:52.600 So what your mum was like, yeah,
00:00:54.400 just go out there, get money and live your movie.
00:00:57.200 Yeah.
00:00:58.280 So like, how do you feel about that now?
00:01:02.120 Do you feel like she might have steered you
00:01:03.960 in the wrong direction?
00:01:08.560 You can be real, man.
00:01:09.520 She's not here.
00:01:10.360 It's okay.
00:01:11.200 I know, she might say that.
00:01:12.640 No, I love my mum and, you know, she's a...
00:01:15.360 You can love your mum,
00:01:16.280 but your mum still can be wrong, you know?
00:01:17.760 Yeah, absolutely.
00:01:18.600 And I do tell her that every day, bless her.
00:01:21.360 If you had your time again, would you?
00:01:23.160 No, I would get married.
00:01:26.840 I would have gotten married, yeah.
00:01:30.480 Stayed married?
00:01:31.440 And stayed married, yeah.
00:01:32.400 Would you have married your daughter's husband?
00:01:33.800 I was with my daughter's dad for, what, 12 years.
00:01:36.400 Do you think he should have been your husband?
00:01:39.840 Do you know, like in the beginning, like when he mentioned marriage,
00:01:42.880 I was like, oh, I don't want to get married, forget that.
00:01:44.520 Oh, snap. 0.99
00:01:45.520 Yeah, and I never really understood like the value in getting married,
00:01:51.160 but I think like actually giving your word,
00:01:53.840 giving your word that you are going to stick with this person,
00:01:57.600 I think that will make a bigger difference in actually making it work.
00:02:02.080 Do you think, would you agree that a lot of times,
00:02:05.080 a lot of older women give younger women bad advice? 1.00
00:02:08.000 100%.
00:02:09.440 What do you lot think about that?
00:02:11.720 I do agree with that.
00:02:13.160 100%, that's what makes the market so hard.
00:02:15.600 The lady that just got kicked out basically, 0.99
00:02:16.600 that's what I was saying to her.
00:02:17.520 I'm like, but why?
00:02:19.400 She was the oldest one here, mate.
00:02:21.640 I think it just depends on, like you said, the programming.
00:02:25.080 What programming did that older woman receive to then hand down? 1.00
00:02:28.520 What kind of software was installed?
00:02:30.440 Exactly.
00:02:31.400 So if you got the corrupt, if you got the malware,
00:02:33.600 you can only hand down malware.
00:02:35.720 You know, like that, if you get,
00:02:37.080 if you come from a two-parent household,
00:02:39.880 then you're more likely to still get, you should come,
00:02:42.240 you should, a two-parent household should come from you, 0.99
00:02:44.120 because you came from a two-parent household.
00:02:45.560 But if you come from a single-parent household,
00:02:47.680 and it's the mum saying, yeah, well, I had to work two, three jobs.
00:02:51.080 So I don't, maybe they're saying they don't want that for her,
00:02:53.520 but for their child.
00:02:54.960 Yeah, but the reason is that men are bad, isn't it?
00:02:57.760 Like, you can't find a good man, basically.
00:02:59.680 Like, my dad wasn't the best.
00:03:01.240 I loved him, like, to me, he did his best.
00:03:05.920 But as a husband and how he treated my mum in certain ways.
00:03:11.760 But I also think a lot of women don't take responsibility for... 1.00
00:03:16.960 Their part.
00:03:17.560 They don't see the psychological abuse.
00:03:19.760 They just don't see it, like, constantly making a man wrong.
00:03:22.560 Like, the way women can make a man feel like shit is... 1.00
00:03:28.440 Women don't really see that. 1.00
00:03:29.600 So then the man reacts a certain way.
00:03:31.720 What do you think about, you know, feminism? 1.00
00:03:33.640 What do you think about it, though?
00:03:34.800 I think it's bullshit.
00:03:35.680 It's, like, set us back, like, way back.
00:03:38.760 And the way that...
00:03:41.120 Oh, don't get me started.
00:03:42.560 I'm sorry.
00:03:43.160 I prefer the way back.
00:03:45.120 I think what I've noticed in, like, when I really look at, like, the society and the media, especially, like, if you notice, a lot of media kind of, it kind of installs that programming as well.
00:03:58.080 Because, like, for instance, when you watch, like, a lot, even cartoons, you might watch The Simpsons or Family Guy.
00:04:04.320 The dad is always, like, an idiot.
00:04:06.160 He's always, like, a fumbling and the mum has to be the one controlled, the one that's level-headed, where the dad is just, like, an idiot.
00:04:12.800 And, you know, it's subtle, but it is actually quite significant, because everybody watches The Simpsons, everyone watches Family Guy, and it's just, like, yeah, I think that society, the media, it really pushes for, like, you know, men are incapable, women have to take the reins of everything, can, like, girl power kind of thing. 0.78
00:04:33.880 What do you lot think about that?
00:04:34.680 What's the consequences of it?
00:04:36.800 What's the consequences of it?
00:04:38.200 Men are emasculated.
00:04:39.280 Emasculated, innit?
00:04:39.920 Yeah, men are emasculated, women are, not to say women shouldn't feel like, you know, they can make decisions, but at the end of the day, most women will want a man that is a leader, a man that is competent, a man that is confident, the man that, you know, she can rely on and look to, you know, in times of need, where they don't want to, they don't want to couple up with Homer Simpson.
00:05:01.380 They don't want to couple up with Peter Griffin.
00:05:03.780 I was saying that earlier, sorry.
00:05:07.220 How do you think we can change the situation?
00:05:09.120 I think it's every man's duty, personally, to be the best version of himself.
00:05:13.860 I think that every man should strive to get financial power, physical power, you know, be, you know, in best physical shape he can, yeah, mental power, he cannot afford to be ignorant.
00:05:26.720 You just can't, bro.
00:05:27.780 Yeah, and as women, we have to empower those men, because I just talk to women a lot, and I'm like, you talk so much shit about men, how do you expect to meet a nice man?
00:05:36.480 Law of attraction, and the other thing is, sorry, I lost my, I saw power coming in, I lost my, got starstruck, yeah?
00:05:48.640 Yes, got starstruck, especially because you called me based.
00:05:51.220 Thank you.
00:05:53.220 Thank you.
00:05:53.800 Thank you.
00:05:54.160 Thank you.
00:05:55.540 It was a quick statement, guys.
00:05:57.240 Oh, good.
00:05:57.620 It was, uh, good, good.
00:05:59.300 I don't know.
00:05:59.820 Oh, yeah, she's fine.
00:06:00.480 Open a shut case, Johnson. 0.72
00:06:01.680 And we need to, oh, yeah, this is what I was going to say, how we, how we, how, what we do about it is shut down people like her. 0.90
00:06:07.080 Let's get, let's get, let's get a little round of applause.
00:06:09.180 Thank you for King Riches.
00:06:10.280 Yay.
00:06:10.560 Yay.
00:06:10.860 Yay.
00:06:10.960 Yay.
00:06:11.460 They don't need any statements from us, right?
00:06:13.320 And shout out security.
00:06:14.100 Yay.
00:06:14.420 Yay.
00:06:14.980 Security.
00:06:15.800 You can take the gloves off now.
00:06:18.000 Securing the building.
00:06:19.040 White guy.
00:06:20.360 And you're the one, she was telling you why you're not smiling.
00:06:23.400 Do you remember?
00:06:24.860 That's why he wasn't smiling.
00:06:25.860 She was so desperate to make him smile.
00:06:27.640 It's us there for a long time.
00:06:28.140 Yeah, the thing for you, bro.
00:06:31.140 Yeah.
00:06:31.640 What were you guys talking about?
00:06:32.960 Well, um, we were saying like how, sorry.
00:06:35.320 You know, the situation with feminism and so, and so, and so.
00:06:38.340 Oh, men being demasculated, like Gary was saying, like, what do we do about that?
00:06:41.460 And I'm like, you're shutting down people like that.
00:06:43.020 Like, like, exact, like, this is what has got to stop.
00:06:47.240 Like, women talking shit about men is going on and on and on. 0.98
00:06:52.520 And I just shut it down as much as I can.
00:06:55.880 And yeah, sometimes I do get into arguments with my girlfriends.
00:06:58.660 But so what?
00:06:59.980 Did your, did your mom do that to you? 0.92
00:07:02.260 Because you said, you said your mom was a feminist. 1.00
00:07:04.060 Did she talk shit about men? 0.83
00:07:05.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:05.520 And I shut, I, I, yeah, I shut her down immediately. 1.00
00:07:08.980 When was your like red pill moment that switched?
00:07:11.680 Is that, no, because I, I'd imagine at some point, like, I mean,
00:07:15.000 if she was talking like this when you were a kid, you can't believe what your parents say for a while.
00:07:19.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:07:20.760 But it was in my relationship.
00:07:24.860 When I was having arguments with my ex-partner, it was like I could just, afterwards, I was like,
00:07:30.820 those were not my opinions.
00:07:31.960 It's like I can hear my mom's voice in my head.
00:07:33.940 But like I said, it got to a point where it kind of got a bit too late to, to be able to like save that relationship.
00:07:43.160 It just got to a point.
00:07:44.480 It could have gotten abusive from both sides.
00:07:47.920 But yeah, that, it was, it was not that long ago.
00:07:52.120 And one of the questions I was going to ask you, like, what, what would you do now to like compete for a guy?
00:08:00.400 Compete?
00:08:01.240 Yeah, I mean, it's always, love is a competition, you don't think.
00:08:04.580 What would I do to compete?
00:08:08.060 That's a good question.
00:08:09.140 What does that mean?
00:08:10.440 Yeah, give me a, like, example, like with other women. 1.00
00:08:13.880 Would you agree that most women go for the same types of guys?
00:08:16.660 In terms of, there's a list of things that women want, and there's only a small percentage of men that fit that, 0.99
00:08:23.780 that have good enough jobs, that are good enough looking, that are tall enough.
00:08:26.940 I think you're right.
00:08:27.620 There's not enough men that we want to go around.
00:08:30.420 There's enough men to go around, but not that women choose. 1.00
00:08:33.160 I would, I would, I am starting to learn to listen to the man and shut my mouth a bit more, finding it difficult.
00:08:44.660 So, I'm not succeeding every time.
00:08:47.600 So, but that's, yeah, that's what I would really take on is, is to be a lot more feminine now, 0.94
00:08:54.120 because I did take on being masculine and.
00:08:58.600 You're an athlete, though.
00:09:00.180 Right?
00:09:00.580 Yes.
00:09:01.460 And my GP thinks my testosterone is high, so.
00:09:04.620 No, I think it's a thing.
00:09:06.360 I can, like, tell when women play sports, like, from a young age. 1.00
00:09:10.160 I don't know what it is, but it's like, I can.
00:09:11.980 Because you're an athlete.
00:09:13.020 No, no, it's me too, but I'm like, I think, I've heard it imbalances our hormones.
00:09:17.780 It does.
00:09:18.340 That's what my, my doctor was saying, well, all the sports you're doing and all this is not helping.
00:09:22.580 Really?
00:09:22.920 What did he say?
00:09:23.500 I'm so curious.
00:09:24.360 That's what he said, because that my testosterone is high.
00:09:27.800 And he said, and I was doing, like, kickboxing at some point.
00:09:30.060 He was like, well, that's not going to help you be feminine. 0.71
00:09:33.180 Why don't you start dancing?
00:09:34.440 I actually really, yes, thank you.
00:09:38.060 I really want to start dancing.
00:09:39.500 Yeah.
00:09:39.580 And, yes, I will get in touch with you about that.
00:09:43.060 Let's do it.
00:09:43.680 Because my coordination, when it comes to dancing, is crap.
00:09:46.620 But if you play football, you already must have fancy footwork.
00:09:49.420 Yes, I have that.
00:09:50.180 But when it comes to dancing, I'm the same way.
00:09:52.840 I know what you mean.
00:09:53.760 I can't even do, like, Zumba classes.
00:09:54.560 I'm like, what are they doing?
00:09:55.580 Like, I can't do, like, classes like that.
00:09:56.980 It's the coordination.
00:09:58.480 It's so different than sport.
00:10:00.300 I know exactly what you're talking about.
00:10:01.940 I mean, I wasn't soccer.
00:10:04.720 I couldn't do the feet stuff.
00:10:07.120 We call it football here.
00:10:08.380 I'm sorry.
00:10:09.180 You've been here long enough.
00:10:10.380 I just can't.
00:10:11.340 I can't.
00:10:11.940 It's soccer to me.
00:10:13.980 Soccer, yes.
00:10:15.140 So, yeah, I would compete in, yeah, keeping myself fit.
00:10:19.720 I'm in my 40s now, so I can't afford to let myself go.
00:10:23.800 Yeah, keep myself fit.
00:10:25.320 And really, like, being more submissive and feminine. 0.73
00:10:29.000 Because, yeah, most women. 1.00
00:10:30.380 Do you think you could be in the top 1% of listeners to keep the man that you're saying that you are?
00:10:34.140 Yeah, let's go for that, mate.
00:10:36.040 Do you, have you ever, like, sought out to learn certain skills for a guy?
00:10:41.400 So, like, cooking, cleaning, I don't know.
00:10:43.480 My ex taught me how to cook.
00:10:44.880 Okay.
00:10:45.840 Jeez.
00:10:46.260 Yeah.
00:10:47.000 Have you ever thought about reconciling?
00:10:48.780 Could you ever?
00:10:50.460 No, I don't.
00:10:52.740 Is he still single?
00:10:54.920 He might be now.
00:10:56.500 I don't want to talk about his business.
00:10:57.740 Oh, okay, okay.
00:10:58.540 Yeah, but, no, I think.
00:11:00.380 I think we're past that.
00:11:01.240 We get on.
00:11:02.180 We get on.
00:11:03.700 But, I can't get into, like, the personal stuff.
00:11:08.340 But, no, there are certain differences that.
00:11:14.180 I can't.
00:11:16.740 It's not by choice.
00:11:18.100 There are certain things that just can't.
00:11:20.880 Okay, what about the guys?
00:11:21.860 Have you ever sought out to learn a certain skill to get women? 0.92
00:11:25.600 Not really.
00:11:26.700 No?
00:11:27.060 No.
00:11:27.400 The women always just came to you? 1.00
00:11:29.120 I think just, for me, they fall in place.
00:11:31.700 What?
00:11:32.640 With me.
00:11:33.100 I mean, for me, women fall in place, so they don't need to, you know, really learn anything. 1.00
00:11:39.280 Yeah, but you're all right.
00:11:39.880 Look how tall you are.
00:11:40.760 You're all right.
00:11:41.260 You're all good, man.
00:11:41.560 I'm about six, five.
00:11:42.840 Yeah, you're all nice.
00:11:44.380 Dunking on, man.
00:11:44.960 When I was, like, late teens, early 20s now, it's like, all right, cool, like, I need to make sure I've got a job so I have a little bit of money so I can say, okay, let's go to the cinema or something.
00:11:54.580 I need to, I was working out a lot more because it's like, all right, cool, like, no girl, don't want no fat guy. 1.00
00:12:01.180 I'm already short, so, like, let me try and work on, there's loads of things I've tried to work on to be, I'm not six, I'm not six nothing.
00:12:09.840 I'm not either, but I'm close.
00:12:11.320 But there's loads of things I've tried to work on to try and be more appealing because I didn't, I feel like, for me personally, it was a lot more to do with my self-image where I didn't view myself as the most attractive.
00:12:26.320 So maybe that came across to the women that I was talking to at the time, whereas now I have a lot more self-confidence so I can engage in conversation more and be more successful in just having general conversations.
00:12:41.320 conversations where I wasn't at that point and I thought, if I did these things, I would be more successful when it really just should have worked on myself.
00:12:47.560 Did you actively, like, study how to talk to women, how to approach women?
00:12:51.440 No.
00:12:51.960 No, none of that stuff.
00:12:52.980 I don't know if you're a pickup guy.
00:12:54.500 No, no.
00:12:55.360 But I thought if, well, if I have the, because I was already fine with, like, telling jokes and stuff like that, but it was just, like, I felt like if I had the look, if I had the, if I had a Blackberry, if I had, like, the right clothes, if I made sure I always had a haircut.
00:13:10.020 To have a dress.
00:13:10.780 Yeah.
00:13:11.040 Yeah.
00:13:11.440 Like, other little things, I thought I could make it work, so.
00:13:14.620 Yeah.
00:13:15.460 Yeah, I've definitely sought it out.
00:13:16.760 I think that I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
00:13:20.200 It's all about self-improvement at the end of the day.
00:13:22.540 And, yeah, it's worked on my benefit, man.
00:13:25.780 It's made me on each side of myself I didn't know.
00:13:28.260 I had, you know, walk around confident, happy within myself.
00:13:33.320 I'm not the, I don't look the ideal way I want to look, but I'm working towards it.
00:13:36.560 And whilst I'm working towards it, I just believe I'm that guy, man.
00:13:40.520 And that's it, you know?
00:13:41.520 I think that's what the, the main thing is, just confidence.
00:13:47.160 Yeah, man.
00:13:47.560 For men in general, from your confidence, it doesn't matter.
00:13:52.160 Because even today, we all came in, didn't know each other, was all sat down, just talking.
00:13:58.120 And everyone was able to get along.
00:14:00.620 Whereas if there was any, like, I'm shy as you are.
00:14:02.760 Well, well.
00:14:03.060 Well.
00:14:03.560 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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