JustPearlyThings - May 11, 2023


Only Fans Model Gets Put On The Hot Sit


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

239.30022

Word count

2,298

Sentence count

195

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a young woman who has had to work very hard to get where she is today. She talks about how she went from being a care home care worker to running her own business and how she managed to get her life back on track. She also talks about what it was like being in a toxic relationship at a young age and how it affected her life. I hope you enjoy this episode and can't wait to do it again.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 How many years did you run your OnlyFans?
00:00:03.740 Probably about a year and a half when I stopped.
00:00:07.760 Yeah, so I was working in the care home and then I started it.
00:00:11.020 And I knew that if I started the OF, my ex would leave me alone
00:00:13.880 because he hated things like that.
00:00:15.060 And I knew that he'd really leave me alone because we were so toxic together.
00:00:18.540 And then I was in work, I checked my phone.
00:00:21.500 I think I made maybe like 2K in that day.
00:00:24.640 And to me, that's a lot.
00:00:25.700 I haven't come from a big family, haven't come from a stable family at all.
00:00:29.480 I think 2K in a day is a lot.
00:00:31.140 And for me it was because I was getting £400 a week from the care home.
00:00:33.980 And I was working 12-hour shifts and five days a week.
00:00:36.860 So to me, that was amazing.
00:00:38.720 How old did you say you are now?
00:00:40.180 I'm 22 now.
00:00:41.180 Okay, so you've been doing it for like three years.
00:00:42.660 Yeah, and then I said to my manager, I need to leave work.
00:00:46.900 I don't really want to be here.
00:00:48.200 And I told her my situation with the OnlyFans.
00:00:50.080 She said to me, just go.
00:00:51.420 So I went and I just never looked back.
00:00:53.900 So why did you pick that route instead of like, I don't know, marrying rich?
00:00:57.900 You know what it was?
00:00:58.560 You were a pretty girl.
00:00:59.140 You were 19.
00:00:59.720 Thank you.
00:01:00.380 You were with the guy for three years.
00:01:02.680 So you couldn't have been, I mean, you probably weren't streeting that much if you were with
00:01:07.380 a guy for three years, were you?
00:01:09.280 Maybe you were.
00:01:10.020 Okay.
00:01:10.400 Yeah.
00:01:10.840 I was a mess.
00:01:11.900 I was a mess.
00:01:12.660 I had no control over my emotions.
00:01:14.840 I felt like I didn't even know who I was.
00:01:16.500 Right.
00:01:16.980 I feel like when you're in a young relationship, you don't even know who you are as a person
00:01:20.860 at that point.
00:01:21.620 You grow to learn who you are.
00:01:23.500 Why ruin your own life?
00:01:24.760 You could have got married, ruined someone else's too.
00:01:26.520 I don't want to get married.
00:01:27.480 I'm against marriage. 1.00
00:01:28.340 I don't ever want to get married.
00:01:29.200 Thank you.
00:01:30.400 I don't like marriage.
00:01:30.640 It wasn't offering.
00:01:31.320 I was just asking.
00:01:31.800 Yeah.
00:01:32.080 No, but I don't like marriage.
00:01:33.180 I just think it's like.
00:01:34.000 No, not everyone wants to get married and not everyone wants children.
00:01:35.980 I know.
00:01:36.540 I just think it's like a shame because there's a way to utilize female beauty in a different 0.99
00:01:40.520 way and still get the outcomes that you want.
00:01:43.060 You know what I mean?
00:01:43.540 Like now you're in a position where it's going to be tough to ever be with a guy long term.
00:01:47.520 Yeah.
00:01:47.980 But maybe I don't want to be with a guy long term.
00:01:50.480 Maybe I want to live with three cats at my home with all my cactuses.
00:01:52.980 What do you want your life to look like at 65?
00:01:55.820 I'll probably be dead by then.
00:01:57.060 So I don't know.
00:01:58.340 I don't think that far ahead because life is just.
00:02:04.020 You really should.
00:02:04.920 I don't plan that far ahead.
00:02:06.220 I live in the moment.
00:02:07.280 Yeah, it probably will.
00:02:08.200 But if it does, it does.
00:02:09.660 I don't really care.
00:02:10.980 Yeah, you do.
00:02:11.780 No, I don't.
00:02:12.780 I think you feel a bit under.
00:02:13.980 No, I don't.
00:02:15.720 You say that now, but then life hits you.
00:02:19.120 Maybe it will hit me, but it's not hit me yet.
00:02:21.960 And I'm here.
00:02:22.900 I'm healthy.
00:02:24.080 You know, I'm living.
00:02:25.340 I've got good family members and I've got friends.
00:02:27.440 Like, you still get it.
00:02:28.440 Like, I don't think women, like, we realize how much we, like, need attention from men.
00:02:32.020 Yeah.
00:02:32.480 Like, we need.
00:02:33.300 Like, we need.
00:02:33.740 I agree with that.
00:02:34.540 And so, like, right now you're still young.
00:02:36.420 You're still attractive.
00:02:37.180 You're still going to get attention from men.
00:02:38.940 But, like, at 40 to 50, women become basically invisible. 0.81
00:02:42.420 Yeah.
00:02:43.460 I know.
00:02:43.760 That does scare me, actually.
00:02:44.860 I thought about that.
00:02:45.480 And so if you don't get a husband before then, like, what does life look like?
00:02:50.040 Your parents will pass away at some point.
00:02:52.980 Your siblings will have their own families.
00:02:54.780 Like, if you don't start thinking long-term, like, what does your life look like?
00:02:58.420 And I don't say this to be mean.
00:02:59.880 No, no, no.
00:03:00.500 It's a good question.
00:03:01.540 Because you're in the position you're in already.
00:03:03.200 Yeah.
00:03:03.400 You can't do anything to, like, to change it.
00:03:06.080 Yeah.
00:03:06.440 But it's like, you know, if you want to be in a position where you're happier, like,
00:03:10.560 wouldn't it make sense to maybe start to put that away?
00:03:13.560 Maybe, but I don't know.
00:03:16.580 No, that's absolutely true.
00:03:17.180 I feel like there's so much in my life I'm trying to sort out first, like, my mental health
00:03:20.760 and my family issues and a lot of my childhood trauma that I still have to deal with daily.
00:03:25.420 So I'm trying to sort that out first because I feel like I can't think straight at the
00:03:28.700 moment with my head.
00:03:29.480 It's just, like, one big tornado.
00:03:31.700 So trauma, like, what do you mean?
00:03:33.260 You need to go through, like, because I never understand when people say childhood trauma,
00:03:37.420 like, I need to go through.
00:03:38.260 When I was younger, I was SA'd and it was my mum's boyfriend.
00:03:42.760 So, like, that was quite intense, you know.
00:03:46.660 I'm not getting upset.
00:03:47.920 It's just a bit, you know.
00:03:49.960 Yeah.
00:03:50.480 So how long have you been going to therapy for it?
00:03:53.680 I was going when I was 16 for a year and then I stopped.
00:03:57.800 I thought I didn't need it anymore.
00:03:59.140 And then I've only been going for about five months now.
00:04:02.220 Well, because it's just the sad thing about therapy is it just seems like they just
00:04:08.260 kind of make money off of their patients instead of trying to get you guys out.
00:04:13.040 And I think a lot of times that's, like, women doing it. 1.00
00:04:15.580 I know maybe you had the bad experience with the guy, but it might make sense to try to find
00:04:19.460 a different...
00:04:20.140 Yeah, I guess so.
00:04:21.360 You know, just because, like, what does your future look like?
00:04:24.020 You have to figure out how to move on.
00:04:25.700 Yeah.
00:04:26.380 Yeah, definitely.
00:04:27.980 Yeah.
00:04:28.480 Okay.
00:04:29.460 And sometimes there are things that you can't actually get over.
00:04:32.100 So looking at it endlessly makes you live in the moment too much.
00:04:36.060 Like, I always feel like I wake up and I'm still living in the past still.
00:04:39.520 Like, my head just keeps living in the past, you know?
00:04:42.280 But, you know, and I've just found that if I focus more on the future, you don't live
00:04:45.620 as much in the past.
00:04:46.640 Yeah, I know.
00:04:47.280 You know, but, like, right now you're not even thinking, like, long term.
00:04:50.100 Yeah.
00:04:50.920 Also, if you had a partner, one that was good for you, not just any old partner, if you
00:04:55.500 were focused on them...
00:04:56.720 Yeah.
00:04:57.080 ...and they're focused on you, then you also wouldn't have to.
00:04:59.580 I feel like that is why I do hate my job, because I don't glamorise sex work at all.
00:05:03.500 I think, don't start it, it does ruin your life, it ruins your mentality, and it ruins
00:05:07.440 how you view men, and how men should view you.
00:05:10.120 So, yeah, if I could sit here and regret doing sex work, I probably would regret it.
00:05:16.600 Only because of the stuff I put on the internet as well, because that's not me.
00:05:20.080 That's just what I've done for money.
00:05:21.880 And you shouldn't have to do them things for money to, you know, you're losing your, not
00:05:27.100 morals, but...
00:05:29.060 It could have been private.
00:05:29.920 Yeah, it could have been private, and I feel like, where I was a bit younger, and I was
00:05:34.300 getting too excited because of the money, I had no parents to guide me, I kind of lost
00:05:38.020 the control, and now I'm in this situation.
00:05:42.460 But, yeah.
00:05:43.960 I'm just thinking there's, like, steps you could take to get out of it, because, you
00:05:47.460 know, it's like, you can...
00:05:49.460 You're able to make savings, put it away, and learn, like, a...
00:05:51.920 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:52.420 ...because I'm just thinking, like, you're a pretty girl, there's ways to monetize your beauty 0.77
00:05:56.640 in a different way, you could start a YouTube channel and do reactions, right?
00:06:00.140 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:00.200 You could do...
00:06:00.900 You could do sales.
00:06:03.380 Yeah.
00:06:03.700 I mean, I don't...
00:06:04.780 Would salespeople hire sex workers? 1.00
00:06:07.080 100%.
00:06:07.180 Well, it's what's interesting to me, and this is actually something, like I said, when I
00:06:11.020 was dating a gal that turned out to be a stripper and, like, a really popular one, apparently,
00:06:16.040 what really interested me in her psychology, she was probably the best person I've ever met
00:06:21.240 at just reading men and just understand, like, I don't believe that anybody really knows human
00:06:25.600 nature like sex workers do. 0.99
00:06:26.780 That's so true.
00:06:27.580 They really, like, these girls... 0.77
00:06:28.600 You can learn things, yeah.
00:06:29.500 She can look at a guy, and I guarantee it, I've met you, like, two minutes ago, we've
00:06:33.100 gone on a show, it's like, she can look at a guy and immediately know how much money
00:06:36.280 he has, would he cheat on his wife, and how quickly.
00:06:38.620 And, like, and she knows, she would, you know, you know I'm talking about, right?
00:06:40.660 She's like, yep, of course.
00:06:41.720 Because the gal I was with, she was like, she would look at a guy, she's like, I'm like,
00:06:45.020 oh, that guy's my friend, he was married, she's like, oh, he would cheat on his wife
00:06:47.180 in a minute.
00:06:47.400 And I'm like, really, and she would just know, she's like, I know the look, I know,
00:06:49.700 I know the feel, I know the energy, like, they just understand that.
00:06:52.080 So, yes, it definitely is good for sales.
00:06:53.660 But coming, I know that you did not like sales, and that's fine.
00:06:56.720 I loved sales.
00:06:57.800 I'll tell you.
00:06:58.640 No, no, no, no.
00:06:59.220 I don't mind sales.
00:06:59.920 I hate selling copiers.
00:07:01.140 Yes.
00:07:01.980 We had a guy in our company, we had a guy in our company that's like one of our top sales
00:07:04.580 people, he used to sell copiers, came to us, he likes his life now.
00:07:06.800 But there is something to sales that I think is really, really important tying into this.
00:07:13.180 How you feel and, like, all the emotional stuff, I mean, obviously, like, that's a
00:07:17.160 battle you have to fight, that's a battle you have to win, it is what it is.
00:07:22.120 Everybody has some trauma, not at the same level, you know, we're different, but everybody
00:07:26.440 comes, everybody's family is effed up in some way or another.
00:07:28.860 Like, it's just a fact, we all are, you know?
00:07:30.780 And one thing I'm really glad about, like, when I was 20 years old, and I felt like I
00:07:34.720 was a victim of the world.
00:07:36.480 And I think a lot of people, you know, at a young age feel like they're victims.
00:07:39.080 Like, no, I'm not the best looking.
00:07:40.500 No, I'm not the smartest.
00:07:41.480 No, I'm not this, the, that.
00:07:42.780 I don't have a big brother to teach me things.
00:07:44.760 Because before I was 20, the internet wasn't, like, a huge thing, which is kind of crazy.
00:07:48.680 So we didn't have these podcasts to learn about life, which is why I appreciate what
00:07:52.440 Pearl does so much, because, you know, we get to learn about life.
00:07:55.680 I was really, really lucky to take a sales position where people probably cared about
00:08:01.100 the money I was making, the more than they cared about me.
00:08:03.780 But at least the steps that I needed to take to build myself included a significant amount
00:08:08.160 of discipline, a significant amount of accountability and being honest with myself, because I didn't
00:08:12.460 get paid if I didn't sell anything.
00:08:14.280 So I had to be very brutally honest with myself and extremely disciplined.
00:08:17.800 But what really helped was getting around another group of people around me that were
00:08:21.840 disciplined and growing, and they didn't resent my success.
00:08:24.580 They celebrated my success, and I celebrated their success.
00:08:27.800 And when I failed, they didn't crap on me.
00:08:29.740 They said, hey, you failed.
00:08:31.260 Let's work together to make you better if you want to be better.
00:08:34.080 You know, and so one of the things actually we do in our company is, and I think Tate and
00:08:38.500 those guys have the war room, people like the war room, and I think that's brilliant.
00:08:42.020 I think just giving men a place to meet other ambitious, successful, or striving men.
00:08:46.880 That's better than school.
00:08:48.020 Yeah, and we need that.
00:08:49.260 We do the same thing in our company.
00:08:50.480 Like, we bring guys in, and we literally mold them and work with them to make them more
00:08:54.280 accountable to grow.
00:08:55.240 And do some guys resent it?
00:08:56.680 Yes, they leave, and they resent it because they don't like to be in an environment where
00:08:59.920 they feel like they're not enough.
00:09:01.560 But other guys flourish in that environment.
00:09:03.520 And as a man, I'm talking from a man's perspective, you don't have, like, a woman can cry and 1.00
00:09:08.140 still move into another man's life a couple of years later.
00:09:10.400 Men don't have that option. 1.00
00:09:11.640 Like, we need to be building all the time.
00:09:13.960 And if you feel like you're a dude and you're a little bit victimized, it's time to step up
00:09:17.600 and get around people that will help you grow.
00:09:19.940 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:09:26.080 on this platform.
00:09:28.000 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:09:31.940 Every donation helps, and it helps make what we do possible.