JustPearlyThings - August 14, 2023


Only Fans Model Makes This Confession Live On Air


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

237.15053

Word count

3,359

Sentence count

2

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I am joined by my good friend, who is a dominatrix and sex worker. We talk about her experience with the sex work industry and how she has managed to get through it all.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 and i feel like you there's a lot of times where how much give me a number a lot so i've been
00:00:07.520 single for quite a while now and i feel like i'm looking after myself all the time it gets to a
00:00:11.680 point you get fed up with that and you actually just want a nice masculine man to take care of
00:00:16.640 you and put you in these arms i like that and everyone's different but that's what i like
00:00:21.120 give me a number how much does he have to make how much as long as i've got a nice house i've got a
00:00:27.360 nice car what does what does a nice house go for in london oh i wouldn't live in england anyway
00:00:33.280 i'd live abroad definitely so you're looking for a man in another country no that would want to move
00:00:38.560 so hopefully he's got his businesses all settled and we can go what makes you think that guy will
00:00:44.240 choose you yeah you know what i might never get a rich man in my life but that's what i like so
00:00:50.320 hopefully it get there but okay you might never get that are you taking steps to get there at the
00:00:56.000 moment i'm healing on myself i've got a lot of issues i need to sort out before i can never get
00:00:59.840 a partner okay and that's how are you healing them therapy oh yeah i think therapy makes you
00:01:06.160 crazier no you know what i think all the women i know that go to therapy get worse yeah and i can 1.00
00:01:11.360 actually agree with that but the only reason i'm getting this therapy because it's free at the moment
00:01:15.520 and i do actually need some sort of help is it a male or a female it's a female i'm gonna just you 0.99
00:01:21.520 should go to a male therapist really yeah women shouldn't be therapists it's just my opinion i'm 1.00
00:01:26.560 in i'm in the psychology program at the school i promise you these women that are giving you
00:01:30.720 they're horrible yeah horrible they're insane men look to solve problems so a guy's gonna tell you if
00:01:36.400 i have this problem let's say you solve it women are just gonna say oh it's okay tell me about your 0.98
00:01:41.600 trauma but i've also have had uh men therapists that have made me feel really uncomfortable and flirted with
00:01:48.320 me and that didn't solve any of my problems well i felt uncomfortable at my therapy session so to me
00:01:53.520 i'll feel more comfortable with a woman i have a more nurture how do you flirt just making comments
00:01:58.880 what's your social media and things like that you know making me feel uncomfortable because everyone
00:02:04.000 he knew that i'm a sa uh no sw and sws i'm allowed to say that right w yeah does do you think that helps
00:02:13.120 or hurts with your mental health it hurts it so so much okay i'll be so real what can you why do you
00:02:18.800 keep doing it then because at that moment i'm in like a bit of a loophole where it's a bit hard to
00:02:24.480 come out of it where i'm just used to money being thrown at me i'm scared to go back into a normal job
00:02:31.200 routine how how much in savings do you have savings um do i really have to answer that do you have more
00:02:38.640 than like okay what do you what do you roughly make a year yeah i'd say maybe not on of but
00:02:44.720 altogether maybe i'd say about 50k 50k yeah for that's sex work yeah you think you're worth 50k a
00:02:53.520 year no but i don't work a lot though with it i do you know i don't overdo it because when i was a
00:02:59.760 bit younger i overworked and that's when i was in a really bad place i overdid it so i've taken a bit
00:03:05.440 of a step back i don't even do my only of only fans anymore um i more do like dominatrix and come
00:03:12.560 in and that just keeps me steady for now yeah well i'm just thinking if you want to get out oh no of
00:03:17.920 course of course right so like like it might help to get some savings so then you yeah no i've got
00:03:23.040 i've got savings i've got same don't get me wrong i've got savings but also i've gotten a lot of debt
00:03:27.120 as well and i also had to go for a court case so i'm spending money on solicitors you know things
00:03:32.000 happen in life life's one big journey and i feel like everyone's journey is different some people
00:03:36.160 have a really good life and some people don't have a good life wait so what made you get into that
00:03:41.200 well um the sex work sort of thing um i used to work in a care home and i was actually very
00:03:46.800 like depressed very low and i wasn't making a lot of money and i had my ex-boyfriend at the time that
00:03:51.680 used to he used to really make me feel low you know and even like we'd go out for meals and he'd say
00:03:56.800 have you got the 10 pound from the meal he used to always make me split and i used to think to myself
00:04:01.120 like like i care for you i love you i treat you try and treat you well and he never gave me that back
00:04:06.960 and then i worked in the care home and i was sitting there one day and i thought i can't
00:04:10.720 do this anymore like my mind don't even want to help like help um and then i was sitting there and
00:04:18.080 speaking to one of the old guys that used to look after in the care home and i told him my whole plan
00:04:22.320 about starting the only fans you know and he sat there and he said to me do it why are you not doing
00:04:26.960 it you're going to be old like me one day sitting in a chair you're going to like die basically one
00:04:31.120 day just do it and i probably just wanted to subscribe you know what but he didn't make it
00:04:36.080 till that time because he passed away a few months after but i started it and um how old were you i was
00:04:42.880 19. so you're 19 you're working to care home sorry it gets hot it gets very hot it's the uk question how
00:04:50.240 many years did you run your only fans um probably about a year and a half and i stopped yeah so i
00:04:58.880 was working in the care home and then i started it and i knew that if i started the oaf my ex would
00:05:03.520 leave me alone because he hated things like that and i knew that he'd really leave me alone because
00:05:07.200 we were so toxic together and then i was i was in work i checked my phone i think i made maybe like 2k
00:05:13.920 in that day and to me that's a lot i haven't come from a big family haven't come from
00:05:17.840 um a stable family at all i think 2k in a day is a lot and for me it was because i was getting 400
00:05:23.040 pound a week from the care home and i was working 12 hour shifts and five days a week so to me that
00:05:27.840 was amazing and how old did you say you are now i'm 22 now okay so you've been doing it for like
00:05:32.480 three years yeah and then um i said to my manager i i need to leave work like i don't really want to
00:05:37.920 be here and i told him my situation with the only fan she said to me just go so i went and i just never
00:05:43.520 looked back so why did you pick that route instead of like i don't know marrying
00:05:47.520 rich you know what it was you're a pretty girl you were 19 thank you you were with the guy for
00:05:51.680 three years so you couldn't have been i mean what you probably weren't street in that much
00:05:57.200 if you're with a guy for three years were you maybe you were okay yeah i was a mess i was a mess i
00:06:03.120 had no control over my emotions i felt like i didn't even know who i was right i feel like when you're in
00:06:08.000 a young relationship you don't know who you are as a person at that point you grow to learn who you are
00:06:14.080 why ruin your own life you could have got married ruin someone else's too i don't want to get married
00:06:17.760 i'm against marriage i don't ever want to get married thank you it wasn't offering i was just
00:06:21.840 asking yeah no but i don't like marriage i just think it's like no not everyone wants to get married
00:06:25.520 and not everyone wants children i know i just i just think it's like a shame because there's way to
00:06:28.960 utilize female beauty in a different way and still get the outcomes that you want you know what 1.00
00:06:33.520 i mean like now now you're in a position where it's going to be tough to ever be with a guy long
00:06:37.280 term yeah but maybe i don't want to be with a guy long term maybe i want to live with three cats at my
00:06:42.240 home with all my cactuses what do you want your life to look like it's 65 i'll probably be dead by
00:06:47.040 then so i don't know i don't think that far ahead because life yeah it's just you really should i
00:06:55.280 don't plan that hard i live in the moment yeah it probably will but if it does it does i don't really
00:07:00.640 care yeah you do no i don't i think you feel a bit under no i don't say that now but yeah then life
00:07:07.680 hits you and maybe it will hit me but it's not hit me up and i'm here i'm healthy you know i'm
00:07:14.960 living got good family members and you're still like you still get it like i don't think women 1.00
00:07:19.440 like we realize how much we like need attention from men yeah like we need like we need i agree
00:07:24.400 with that and so like right now you're still young you're still attractive you're still going to get
00:07:28.000 attention from men but like at 40 to 50 women become basically invisible yeah i know that does scare me
00:07:34.720 actually i thought about that and so and so if you don't if you don't get a husband before then
00:07:38.880 like what does life look like your your parents will pass away at some point your your siblings
00:07:44.080 will have their own families like if you don't start thinking long term like what what does your
00:07:47.600 life look like and i don't say this to be mean no no no it's a good question you're in the position
00:07:52.800 you're in already you can't do anything to like yeah yeah to change it yeah but it's like
00:07:57.760 you know if you want to be in a position where you're happier like wouldn't it make sense to maybe
00:08:01.920 start put that away maybe but um i don't know i feel like there's so much in my life i'm trying
00:08:09.360 to sort out first like my mental health and my family issues and a lot of my childhood trauma that
00:08:14.320 i still have to deal with daily so i'm trying to sort that out first because i feel like i can't
00:08:18.080 think straight at the moment my head it's just like one big tornado so so trauma like what do you
00:08:23.280 mean you need to go through like because i never understand when people say childhood trauma like
00:08:27.760 so when i was younger i was essayed and um it was my mom's boyfriend so like that was quite intense
00:08:35.280 you know oh i'm not getting upset it's just a bit you know um yeah so how long have you been going to
00:08:41.840 therapy for it um i was going when i was 16 for a year and then i stopped before i didn't need it anymore
00:08:49.440 and then i've only been going for about five months now well because it's just the the the sad thing
00:08:56.560 about therapy is it just seems like they just kind of make money off of their patients instead of
00:09:01.120 like trying to get you guys out and i think a lot of times that's like women doing it i know i know 1.00
00:09:06.240 maybe you had the bad experience with the guy but it might make sense to try to find a different
00:09:10.480 yeah i guess so you know that just because like what what does your future look like you have to
00:09:14.640 figure out how to move on yeah yeah definitely yeah okay and sometimes there are things that you
00:09:21.120 can't actually get over so looking at it endlessly you it makes you live in the moment yeah i always
00:09:26.880 feel like i'm i wake up and i'm still living in the past still like my head just keeps living in the
00:09:31.760 past but you know and i've just found that if i focus more on the future you don't live as much in
00:09:36.400 the past yeah you know like right now you're not even thinking like long term yeah also if you had a
00:09:42.560 partner one that was good for you not just any old partner if you were focused on them yeah and they're
00:09:47.600 focused on you then you also wouldn't have to i feel like that is why i do hate my job because i
00:09:51.920 don't glamorize sex work at all i think don't start it it does ruin your life it ruins your mentality and
00:09:57.360 it ruins how you view men and how men should view you so yeah i if i could sit here and regret doing
00:10:04.800 sex work i probably would regret it only because the stuff i put on the internet as well because that's
00:10:09.760 not me that's just what i've done for money and you shouldn't have to do them things for money
00:10:14.480 to you know you're losing your not morals but it could have been private yeah it could have been
00:10:21.360 private and i feel like where i was a bit younger and i was getting too excited because of the money
00:10:25.760 i had no parents to guide me i kind of lost the control and now i'm in this situation
00:10:32.880 but um yeah i'm just thinking there's like steps you could take to get out of it because you know it's
00:10:38.640 like you can you're able to make savings put it away yeah yeah learn like a skit because i'm just
00:10:43.360 thinking like you're you're a pretty girl there's ways to monetize your beauty in a different way
00:10:47.680 yeah start a youtube channel yeah reactions yeah right you could do you could do um sales yeah i
00:10:54.000 don't what would sales people hundred percent sex work uh sex workers it's what's interesting to me
00:10:59.520 and this is actually something like i said when i was dating a gal that turned out to be a stripper
00:11:03.680 and like a really popular one apparently um what really interested me in her psychology she was
00:11:09.520 probably the best person i've ever met at just reading men and just understand like i don't
00:11:14.320 believe that anybody really knows human nature like sex workers do that's so they really like
00:11:18.400 these girls learn that yeah she can look she can look at a guy and i guarantee it i've met you like 0.99
00:11:22.480 two minutes ago we've got a show it's like she can look at a guy and immediately know how much money 0.97
00:11:26.560 he has would he cheat on his wife and how quickly and like and she knows she would you know you don't
00:11:30.480 talk about right she's like yeah of course because the gal i was with she was like she would look at 1.00
00:11:33.920 guys she's like i'm like oh that guy's my friend he was married she's like oh he would
00:11:36.960 cheat on his wife and i'm like really she's and she would just know she's like i know the look i 0.99
00:11:39.760 know i know the feel i know the energy like they just understand that so yes it definitely is good
00:11:43.520 for sales but coming i know that you did not like sales and that's fine i loved sales i'll tell you
00:11:48.880 no no no i don't mind sales i hate selling copiers yes we had a guy in our we had a guy in our company
00:11:53.920 that's like one of our top sales people he used to sell copiers came to us he likes his life now but
00:11:57.520 there is something um to sales that i think is really really important tying into this um how you feel and
00:12:04.480 like all the emotional stuff i mean obviously like that's that's a battle you have to you have
00:12:08.480 to you have to fight that's a battle you have to win it is what it is everybody has some trauma not
00:12:14.560 at the same level you know we're different but everybody comes everybody's family is left up in
00:12:18.320 some way or another like it's just a fact we all are you know and one thing i'm really glad about like
00:12:22.800 when i was 20 years old and i felt like i was a victim of the world and i think a lot of people you
00:12:27.920 know at a young age feel like they're victims like no i'm not the best looking no i'm not the
00:12:31.280 smartest no i'm not this the that i don't have a big brother to teach me things before i was 20
00:12:36.560 the internet wasn't like a huge thing which is kind of crazy so we didn't have these podcasts to learn
00:12:40.800 about life which is why i appreciate what pearl does so much because you know we get to learn about life
00:12:46.160 i was really really lucky to to take a sales position where people probably cared about the
00:12:51.520 money i was making them more than they care about me but at least the steps that i needed to take to
00:12:56.320 build myself included a significant amount of discipline a significant amount of accountability
00:13:01.280 and being honest with myself because i didn't get paid if i didn't sell anything so so i was had to
00:13:05.520 be very brutally honest with myself and extremely disciplined but what really helped was getting
00:13:09.520 around another group of people around me that were disciplined and growing and they didn't resent
00:13:14.240 my success they celebrated my success and i celebrated their success and when i failed they
00:13:19.200 didn't crap on me they said hey you failed let's work together to make you better if you want to be better
00:13:24.160 you know and so one of the things actually we we do in our company is and i think tate and those guys
00:13:29.120 have the war room the war was i think that's brilliant i think just giving men men a place
00:13:34.240 to meet other ambitious successful or striving men that's better than school yeah and that's we need
00:13:39.280 that we do the same thing in our company like we bring guys in and we literally mold them and work
00:13:43.680 with them to make them more accountable to grow and do some guys resent it yes they leave and they
00:13:47.680 resent it because they don't like to be in an environment where they feel like they're not enough
00:13:51.760 but other guys flourish in that environment and as a man i'm talking from a man's perspective
00:13:56.400 you don't have like a woman can cry and still move into another man's life a couple years later men 1.00
00:14:00.800 don't have that option like we need to be building all the time and if you feel like you're a dude and
00:14:05.440 you're a little bit victimized it's time to step up and get around people that will help you grow