Only Fans Model Makes This Confession Live On Air
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
237.15053
Summary
In this episode, I am joined by my good friend, who is a dominatrix and sex worker. We talk about her experience with the sex work industry and how she has managed to get through it all.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
and i feel like you there's a lot of times where how much give me a number a lot so i've been
00:00:07.520
single for quite a while now and i feel like i'm looking after myself all the time it gets to a
00:00:11.680
point you get fed up with that and you actually just want a nice masculine man to take care of
00:00:16.640
you and put you in these arms i like that and everyone's different but that's what i like
00:00:21.120
give me a number how much does he have to make how much as long as i've got a nice house i've got a
00:00:27.360
nice car what does what does a nice house go for in london oh i wouldn't live in england anyway
00:00:33.280
i'd live abroad definitely so you're looking for a man in another country no that would want to move
00:00:38.560
so hopefully he's got his businesses all settled and we can go what makes you think that guy will
00:00:44.240
choose you yeah you know what i might never get a rich man in my life but that's what i like so
00:00:50.320
hopefully it get there but okay you might never get that are you taking steps to get there at the
00:00:56.000
moment i'm healing on myself i've got a lot of issues i need to sort out before i can never get
00:00:59.840
a partner okay and that's how are you healing them therapy oh yeah i think therapy makes you
00:01:06.160
crazier no you know what i think all the women i know that go to therapy get worse yeah and i can
00:01:11.360
actually agree with that but the only reason i'm getting this therapy because it's free at the moment
00:01:15.520
and i do actually need some sort of help is it a male or a female it's a female i'm gonna just you
00:01:21.520
should go to a male therapist really yeah women shouldn't be therapists it's just my opinion i'm
00:01:26.560
in i'm in the psychology program at the school i promise you these women that are giving you
00:01:30.720
they're horrible yeah horrible they're insane men look to solve problems so a guy's gonna tell you if
00:01:36.400
i have this problem let's say you solve it women are just gonna say oh it's okay tell me about your
00:01:41.600
trauma but i've also have had uh men therapists that have made me feel really uncomfortable and flirted with
00:01:48.320
me and that didn't solve any of my problems well i felt uncomfortable at my therapy session so to me
00:01:53.520
i'll feel more comfortable with a woman i have a more nurture how do you flirt just making comments
00:01:58.880
what's your social media and things like that you know making me feel uncomfortable because everyone
00:02:04.000
he knew that i'm a sa uh no sw and sws i'm allowed to say that right w yeah does do you think that helps
00:02:13.120
or hurts with your mental health it hurts it so so much okay i'll be so real what can you why do you
00:02:18.800
keep doing it then because at that moment i'm in like a bit of a loophole where it's a bit hard to
00:02:24.480
come out of it where i'm just used to money being thrown at me i'm scared to go back into a normal job
00:02:31.200
routine how how much in savings do you have savings um do i really have to answer that do you have more
00:02:38.640
than like okay what do you what do you roughly make a year yeah i'd say maybe not on of but
00:02:44.720
altogether maybe i'd say about 50k 50k yeah for that's sex work yeah you think you're worth 50k a
00:02:53.520
year no but i don't work a lot though with it i do you know i don't overdo it because when i was a
00:02:59.760
bit younger i overworked and that's when i was in a really bad place i overdid it so i've taken a bit
00:03:05.440
of a step back i don't even do my only of only fans anymore um i more do like dominatrix and come
00:03:12.560
in and that just keeps me steady for now yeah well i'm just thinking if you want to get out oh no of
00:03:17.920
course of course right so like like it might help to get some savings so then you yeah no i've got
00:03:23.040
i've got savings i've got same don't get me wrong i've got savings but also i've gotten a lot of debt
00:03:27.120
as well and i also had to go for a court case so i'm spending money on solicitors you know things
00:03:32.000
happen in life life's one big journey and i feel like everyone's journey is different some people
00:03:36.160
have a really good life and some people don't have a good life wait so what made you get into that
00:03:41.200
well um the sex work sort of thing um i used to work in a care home and i was actually very
00:03:46.800
like depressed very low and i wasn't making a lot of money and i had my ex-boyfriend at the time that
00:03:51.680
used to he used to really make me feel low you know and even like we'd go out for meals and he'd say
00:03:56.800
have you got the 10 pound from the meal he used to always make me split and i used to think to myself
00:04:01.120
like like i care for you i love you i treat you try and treat you well and he never gave me that back
00:04:06.960
and then i worked in the care home and i was sitting there one day and i thought i can't
00:04:10.720
do this anymore like my mind don't even want to help like help um and then i was sitting there and
00:04:18.080
speaking to one of the old guys that used to look after in the care home and i told him my whole plan
00:04:22.320
about starting the only fans you know and he sat there and he said to me do it why are you not doing
00:04:26.960
it you're going to be old like me one day sitting in a chair you're going to like die basically one
00:04:31.120
day just do it and i probably just wanted to subscribe you know what but he didn't make it
00:04:36.080
till that time because he passed away a few months after but i started it and um how old were you i was
00:04:42.880
19. so you're 19 you're working to care home sorry it gets hot it gets very hot it's the uk question how
00:04:50.240
many years did you run your only fans um probably about a year and a half and i stopped yeah so i
00:04:58.880
was working in the care home and then i started it and i knew that if i started the oaf my ex would
00:05:03.520
leave me alone because he hated things like that and i knew that he'd really leave me alone because
00:05:07.200
we were so toxic together and then i was i was in work i checked my phone i think i made maybe like 2k
00:05:13.920
in that day and to me that's a lot i haven't come from a big family haven't come from
00:05:17.840
um a stable family at all i think 2k in a day is a lot and for me it was because i was getting 400
00:05:23.040
pound a week from the care home and i was working 12 hour shifts and five days a week so to me that
00:05:27.840
was amazing and how old did you say you are now i'm 22 now okay so you've been doing it for like
00:05:32.480
three years yeah and then um i said to my manager i i need to leave work like i don't really want to
00:05:37.920
be here and i told him my situation with the only fan she said to me just go so i went and i just never
00:05:43.520
looked back so why did you pick that route instead of like i don't know marrying
00:05:47.520
rich you know what it was you're a pretty girl you were 19 thank you you were with the guy for
00:05:51.680
three years so you couldn't have been i mean what you probably weren't street in that much
00:05:57.200
if you're with a guy for three years were you maybe you were okay yeah i was a mess i was a mess i
00:06:03.120
had no control over my emotions i felt like i didn't even know who i was right i feel like when you're in
00:06:08.000
a young relationship you don't know who you are as a person at that point you grow to learn who you are
00:06:14.080
why ruin your own life you could have got married ruin someone else's too i don't want to get married
00:06:17.760
i'm against marriage i don't ever want to get married thank you it wasn't offering i was just
00:06:21.840
asking yeah no but i don't like marriage i just think it's like no not everyone wants to get married
00:06:25.520
and not everyone wants children i know i just i just think it's like a shame because there's way to
00:06:28.960
utilize female beauty in a different way and still get the outcomes that you want you know what
00:06:33.520
i mean like now now you're in a position where it's going to be tough to ever be with a guy long
00:06:37.280
term yeah but maybe i don't want to be with a guy long term maybe i want to live with three cats at my
00:06:42.240
home with all my cactuses what do you want your life to look like it's 65 i'll probably be dead by
00:06:47.040
then so i don't know i don't think that far ahead because life yeah it's just you really should i
00:06:55.280
don't plan that hard i live in the moment yeah it probably will but if it does it does i don't really
00:07:00.640
care yeah you do no i don't i think you feel a bit under no i don't say that now but yeah then life
00:07:07.680
hits you and maybe it will hit me but it's not hit me up and i'm here i'm healthy you know i'm
00:07:14.960
living got good family members and you're still like you still get it like i don't think women
00:07:19.440
like we realize how much we like need attention from men yeah like we need like we need i agree
00:07:24.400
with that and so like right now you're still young you're still attractive you're still going to get
00:07:28.000
attention from men but like at 40 to 50 women become basically invisible yeah i know that does scare me
00:07:34.720
actually i thought about that and so and so if you don't if you don't get a husband before then
00:07:38.880
like what does life look like your your parents will pass away at some point your your siblings
00:07:44.080
will have their own families like if you don't start thinking long term like what what does your
00:07:47.600
life look like and i don't say this to be mean no no no it's a good question you're in the position
00:07:52.800
you're in already you can't do anything to like yeah yeah to change it yeah but it's like
00:07:57.760
you know if you want to be in a position where you're happier like wouldn't it make sense to maybe
00:08:01.920
start put that away maybe but um i don't know i feel like there's so much in my life i'm trying
00:08:09.360
to sort out first like my mental health and my family issues and a lot of my childhood trauma that
00:08:14.320
i still have to deal with daily so i'm trying to sort that out first because i feel like i can't
00:08:18.080
think straight at the moment my head it's just like one big tornado so so trauma like what do you
00:08:23.280
mean you need to go through like because i never understand when people say childhood trauma like
00:08:27.760
so when i was younger i was essayed and um it was my mom's boyfriend so like that was quite intense
00:08:35.280
you know oh i'm not getting upset it's just a bit you know um yeah so how long have you been going to
00:08:41.840
therapy for it um i was going when i was 16 for a year and then i stopped before i didn't need it anymore
00:08:49.440
and then i've only been going for about five months now well because it's just the the the sad thing
00:08:56.560
about therapy is it just seems like they just kind of make money off of their patients instead of
00:09:01.120
like trying to get you guys out and i think a lot of times that's like women doing it i know i know
00:09:06.240
maybe you had the bad experience with the guy but it might make sense to try to find a different
00:09:10.480
yeah i guess so you know that just because like what what does your future look like you have to
00:09:14.640
figure out how to move on yeah yeah definitely yeah okay and sometimes there are things that you
00:09:21.120
can't actually get over so looking at it endlessly you it makes you live in the moment yeah i always
00:09:26.880
feel like i'm i wake up and i'm still living in the past still like my head just keeps living in the
00:09:31.760
past but you know and i've just found that if i focus more on the future you don't live as much in
00:09:36.400
the past yeah you know like right now you're not even thinking like long term yeah also if you had a
00:09:42.560
partner one that was good for you not just any old partner if you were focused on them yeah and they're
00:09:47.600
focused on you then you also wouldn't have to i feel like that is why i do hate my job because i
00:09:51.920
don't glamorize sex work at all i think don't start it it does ruin your life it ruins your mentality and
00:09:57.360
it ruins how you view men and how men should view you so yeah i if i could sit here and regret doing
00:10:04.800
sex work i probably would regret it only because the stuff i put on the internet as well because that's
00:10:09.760
not me that's just what i've done for money and you shouldn't have to do them things for money
00:10:14.480
to you know you're losing your not morals but it could have been private yeah it could have been
00:10:21.360
private and i feel like where i was a bit younger and i was getting too excited because of the money
00:10:25.760
i had no parents to guide me i kind of lost the control and now i'm in this situation
00:10:32.880
but um yeah i'm just thinking there's like steps you could take to get out of it because you know it's
00:10:38.640
like you can you're able to make savings put it away yeah yeah learn like a skit because i'm just
00:10:43.360
thinking like you're you're a pretty girl there's ways to monetize your beauty in a different way
00:10:47.680
yeah start a youtube channel yeah reactions yeah right you could do you could do um sales yeah i
00:10:54.000
don't what would sales people hundred percent sex work uh sex workers it's what's interesting to me
00:10:59.520
and this is actually something like i said when i was dating a gal that turned out to be a stripper
00:11:03.680
and like a really popular one apparently um what really interested me in her psychology she was
00:11:09.520
probably the best person i've ever met at just reading men and just understand like i don't
00:11:14.320
believe that anybody really knows human nature like sex workers do that's so they really like
00:11:18.400
these girls learn that yeah she can look she can look at a guy and i guarantee it i've met you like
00:11:22.480
two minutes ago we've got a show it's like she can look at a guy and immediately know how much money
00:11:26.560
he has would he cheat on his wife and how quickly and like and she knows she would you know you don't
00:11:30.480
talk about right she's like yeah of course because the gal i was with she was like she would look at
00:11:33.920
guys she's like i'm like oh that guy's my friend he was married she's like oh he would
00:11:36.960
cheat on his wife and i'm like really she's and she would just know she's like i know the look i
00:11:39.760
know i know the feel i know the energy like they just understand that so yes it definitely is good
00:11:43.520
for sales but coming i know that you did not like sales and that's fine i loved sales i'll tell you
00:11:48.880
no no no i don't mind sales i hate selling copiers yes we had a guy in our we had a guy in our company
00:11:53.920
that's like one of our top sales people he used to sell copiers came to us he likes his life now but
00:11:57.520
there is something um to sales that i think is really really important tying into this um how you feel and
00:12:04.480
like all the emotional stuff i mean obviously like that's that's a battle you have to you have
00:12:08.480
to you have to fight that's a battle you have to win it is what it is everybody has some trauma not
00:12:14.560
at the same level you know we're different but everybody comes everybody's family is left up in
00:12:18.320
some way or another like it's just a fact we all are you know and one thing i'm really glad about like
00:12:22.800
when i was 20 years old and i felt like i was a victim of the world and i think a lot of people you
00:12:27.920
know at a young age feel like they're victims like no i'm not the best looking no i'm not the
00:12:31.280
smartest no i'm not this the that i don't have a big brother to teach me things before i was 20
00:12:36.560
the internet wasn't like a huge thing which is kind of crazy so we didn't have these podcasts to learn
00:12:40.800
about life which is why i appreciate what pearl does so much because you know we get to learn about life
00:12:46.160
i was really really lucky to to take a sales position where people probably cared about the
00:12:51.520
money i was making them more than they care about me but at least the steps that i needed to take to
00:12:56.320
build myself included a significant amount of discipline a significant amount of accountability
00:13:01.280
and being honest with myself because i didn't get paid if i didn't sell anything so so i was had to
00:13:05.520
be very brutally honest with myself and extremely disciplined but what really helped was getting
00:13:09.520
around another group of people around me that were disciplined and growing and they didn't resent
00:13:14.240
my success they celebrated my success and i celebrated their success and when i failed they
00:13:19.200
didn't crap on me they said hey you failed let's work together to make you better if you want to be better
00:13:24.160
you know and so one of the things actually we we do in our company is and i think tate and those guys
00:13:29.120
have the war room the war was i think that's brilliant i think just giving men men a place
00:13:34.240
to meet other ambitious successful or striving men that's better than school yeah and that's we need
00:13:39.280
that we do the same thing in our company like we bring guys in and we literally mold them and work
00:13:43.680
with them to make them more accountable to grow and do some guys resent it yes they leave and they
00:13:47.680
resent it because they don't like to be in an environment where they feel like they're not enough
00:13:51.760
but other guys flourish in that environment and as a man i'm talking from a man's perspective
00:13:56.400
you don't have like a woman can cry and still move into another man's life a couple years later men
00:14:00.800
don't have that option like we need to be building all the time and if you feel like you're a dude and
00:14:05.440
you're a little bit victimized it's time to step up and get around people that will help you grow