JustPearlyThings - November 02, 2023


Panel Gets DIVIDED on Marriage Institution when Pearl Said This


Episode Stats


Length

27 minutes

Words per minute

212.78407

Word count

5,749

Sentence count

655

Harmful content

Misogyny

50

sentences flagged

Hate speech

46

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the benefits and disadvantages of cohabitation and living in separate houses for kids. We discuss the pros and cons of living with your partner and how it affects your kids and the impact it can have on them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Pretty much what I was saying earlier, like if, if you're together and you've got a kid
00:00:03.840 and the relationship's not working out, then just co-inhabit.
00:00:07.300 You can live together and be roommates and live in the same house.
00:00:10.400 As long as the kids see the, the unit, you eat together at the dinner table, all that
00:00:14.440 kind of stuff.
00:00:15.440 That's a prison.
00:00:16.440 No, but, no, no, but if, if it's an arrangement, like you both agreed to, like, it's not what-
00:00:20.760 Where are you going to take your things?
00:00:21.760 No, but listen, it's not working between us, yeah?
00:00:24.000 Where are you going to take your things?
00:00:25.240 Somewhere else.
00:00:26.240 Have a separate room.
00:00:27.240 Just, just let, just, just let the children see parents.
00:00:29.240 Exactly.
00:00:30.240 If, if it's not working out, we can come to an arrangement, we can say, look-
00:00:32.240 Children aren't stupid.
00:00:33.240 Exactly.
00:00:34.240 I mean, it's not, I'm not, we're not saying that, we're not saying that's the ideal situation,
00:00:37.240 but I'm just, I'm putting, like, if I was in that situation and I think, hmm, I know it's
00:00:42.500 better for my kids if the mom and the dad are in the home, and if for a couple of years
00:00:46.500 I just have to be in separate bedrooms and figure out how to deal with this guy I don't
00:00:50.040 like, like, I'm going to do it, I chose to make a kid with him.
00:00:53.420 If I didn't want to do that, I shouldn't have chosen to make a kid with him.
00:00:55.920 Yeah.
00:00:56.920 But the kids are at least of age to kind of understand.
00:00:59.920 When you start splitting up the home and the kids are, like, under 10, it confuses them.
00:01:03.800 They start thinking it's their fault.
00:01:04.920 The worst thing for children is to not have a mom and a dad in a house.
00:01:07.920 I agree with what, I forgot your name, what you're saying, Pierre, and what Pearl's saying.
00:01:12.920 It's the worst thing.
00:01:13.920 And I feel like if you didn't want to have kids of that person, then you should have been
00:01:18.200 more careful.
00:01:19.200 to think about the children because their childhood really shapes the way they are.
00:01:24.200 Especially, like, not having a dad.
00:01:26.080 And I feel like you just need to firm some things and happiness, it comes and goes.
00:01:31.200 Can I ask you a question?
00:01:32.200 Would you rather your mom and dad were together but you watch your dad treat your mom like crap? 0.86
00:01:37.200 I would rather my mom and dad be together.
00:01:39.080 But, like, some people have suggested different ways of going about things rather than, like, someone running away.
00:01:46.080 But with the ideology of, like, cohabitation and, like, just living together and being unhappy
00:01:51.080 and, like, sleeping in separate beds and, like, just putting on a front for the whole family.
00:01:55.080 Like he said, the ideology of, like, kids, like, being, like, a sponge.
00:01:58.080 They absorb, like, what's going on around them.
00:02:00.080 They are, they're not stupid.
00:02:01.080 They are seeing what's happening.
00:02:02.080 Your parents are sleeping in separate beds.
00:02:04.080 That literally, as they grow up, that, like, tells them, like, oh, that, like, stops them from being intimate with partners later in life.
00:02:10.080 Because they don't see this intimacy between their parents, the two people that, like, learning from and living with and stuff.
00:02:15.080 And they're seeing, like, this unhappiness, like, whether it's a front or not.
00:02:18.080 Like, they are, like, seeing that your mom and your dad, like, aren't happy together.
00:02:21.080 So, how is this, like, how is that better for the kids?
00:02:24.080 What's, what's the better, better alternative?
00:02:26.080 They're, they're, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:02:29.080 They're in separate, they're in separate houses and then they get to meet their girlfriends and boyfriends over the years?
00:02:33.080 No, I don't think you should meet their other partners.
00:02:35.080 But I think you should be able to see your parents happy.
00:02:37.080 I think you should see your parents respecting their own boundaries.
00:02:40.080 And it teaches individualism rather than dependency.
00:02:43.080 And quite frankly, that is not society now.
00:02:45.080 But marriage and family isn't about individualism.
00:02:47.080 And that's my whole point.
00:02:48.080 It's a me, me, me culture.
00:02:50.080 But you said yourself, you said that this is a post-marriage society.
00:02:53.080 So why should we be trying to backtrack on society?
00:02:56.080 Like, this is the way society is growing.
00:02:58.080 Like, we just have to accept and move on.
00:03:00.080 But is this sort of better?
00:03:01.080 I think, yeah, sorry, go ahead.
00:03:03.080 I think it's regardless of whether it's for the better of society, it's better for the individual.
00:03:06.080 Like, all you should really care about is your self-worth and your self-happiness.
00:03:09.080 Well, I don't, I think marriage as an institution is dead.
00:03:12.080 I still think there will be families.
00:03:14.080 But I, I think, um, yeah, legally as an institution, I think it's dead.
00:03:18.080 But how would you feel if you saw your, your daughter or your son in a relationship that they weren't happy in?
00:03:23.080 You wouldn't say to them, you have to stay with your kid.
00:03:25.080 I mean, I would, I would rather see, if I, if I had a daughter, let's say, that was with a guy I didn't like.
00:03:30.080 Yeah.
00:03:31.080 I probably would have warned her not to have a kid with him.
00:03:33.080 I'd like to say.
00:03:34.080 I probably would have.
00:03:35.080 She, we're women, right? 1.00
00:03:36.080 We do it anyway.
00:03:37.080 No.
00:03:38.080 So, she has a kid with him.
00:03:40.080 I warned you not to do it.
00:03:41.080 Now you made your bed.
00:03:42.080 Like, I, I would just say lie in it.
00:03:44.080 Lie in it until he's 18.
00:03:46.080 Especially, especially.
00:03:47.080 What is your life will you lose?
00:03:48.080 Outside of abuse.
00:03:49.080 How much value will you lose for yourself?
00:03:50.080 Sorry, go ahead.
00:03:51.080 Go ahead.
00:03:52.080 You lose so much value for yourself, though, when you're with someone that you know isn't good for you or you know it isn't.
00:03:56.080 I, I don't know what, like, you lose value for yourself.
00:03:58.080 Like, I don't really go with that, but I'm, I'm saying.
00:04:00.080 It's like a punishment.
00:04:01.080 Yeah, it's a punishment.
00:04:02.080 It's like divorcing yourself.
00:04:03.080 It's a, it's a punishment you chose poorly, but I'm, I'm a big, right.
00:04:07.080 But I'm saying, I'm saying, be accountable for what you chose.
00:04:10.080 You picked it.
00:04:11.080 You made that, you made that choice.
00:04:12.080 But you learned from that.
00:04:13.080 Wait, wait, wait.
00:04:14.080 And half the, half, wait.
00:04:16.080 And half the time women pick men they know would not be good fathers.
00:04:20.080 Teach that better.
00:04:22.080 I get it.
00:04:23.080 I get the value system.
00:04:24.080 And I kind of get where you're coming from.
00:04:26.080 Like, respect the institution, family first.
00:04:28.080 I always get that.
00:04:29.080 But like, so what if, and I suppose this also goes to the cohabiting thing, because I get it.
00:04:35.080 Like you're still trying to make it work, even though you're not sleeping together.
00:04:38.080 Like you're, there's a separation, but there's this idea that we're still here for you.
00:04:43.080 You can be friends for the kids.
00:04:44.080 Yeah.
00:04:45.080 So, but what happens if you can see that, and I'm not trying to trap you up.
00:04:50.080 I'm genuinely asking.
00:04:51.080 Like, if you can see this situation, you together, even cohabiting, cohabitating, you get along so poorly, even when trying, that you can see it's making the children unhappy.
00:05:02.080 Like you two.
00:05:03.080 At that point, then I would say, yeah, you got to separate.
00:05:06.080 But at least try.
00:05:07.080 At least try.
00:05:08.080 I give Will a divorce.
00:05:09.080 At least try.
00:05:10.080 Those kids are happy, bro.
00:05:12.080 Like, those kids are happy.
00:05:14.080 I've seen it.
00:05:15.080 I've seen it.
00:05:16.080 I've seen family members literally live together for like five years.
00:05:20.080 And they weren't together, together, but they just lived in the same house.
00:05:24.080 And they slept in separate rooms.
00:05:26.080 And I thought, even as a child, like, why are they still together?
00:05:29.080 But it showed like, after a while, for me personally, it just showed strength.
00:05:34.080 Yeah.
00:05:35.080 And then after the situation and that period where they, whatever was going on between them, I think it lasted like five years, maybe even longer.
00:05:44.080 But they ended up coming back together afterwards.
00:05:46.080 And for me, actually witnessing that was a beautiful thing.
00:05:49.080 Can I?
00:05:50.080 Go ahead.
00:05:51.080 I just wanted to put a total spin on it.
00:05:53.080 Something that's sort of related, but unrelated.
00:05:56.080 What about, I say, girls, women, however you want to describe them, the ones that get pregnant on purpose to keep the man? 1.00
00:06:05.080 Baby trapping.
00:06:06.080 Yeah.
00:06:07.080 So I've been waiting to try to get my voice heard here.
00:06:11.080 It does happen.
00:06:13.080 I know women that have done it. 1.00
00:06:15.080 I know men that have done it.
00:06:16.080 Of course.
00:06:17.080 Yeah.
00:06:18.080 But.
00:06:19.080 How does a man do it? 0.98
00:06:20.080 How does a man do it? 0.98
00:06:21.080 How does a man do it? 0.98
00:06:22.080 Purposely coming inside a girl to get her pregnant so that she'll stay with her. 0.99
00:06:28.080 Oh.
00:06:29.080 But you've never heard anybody do that ever.
00:06:30.080 Oh yeah.
00:06:31.080 But the woman can still get rid of it. 1.00
00:06:32.080 The man doesn't have a choice.
00:06:33.080 Yeah.
00:06:34.080 But the man can pressure them into keeping it.
00:06:35.080 Yeah.
00:06:36.080 But you still don't have to.
00:06:37.080 Yeah.
00:06:38.080 Men influence women more. 0.99
00:06:40.080 Especially if they are.
00:06:41.080 But you still literally don't have to.
00:06:44.080 But guys, let her finish your question. 0.68
00:06:46.080 Go ahead.
00:06:47.080 I knew this was going to raise a lot of discussion.
00:06:51.080 Getting already triggered.
00:06:52.080 So yeah.
00:06:53.080 So this is a big thing.
00:06:55.080 And women will do it on purpose. 1.00
00:06:58.080 And it doesn't matter what age you are, what background.
00:07:01.080 They think that's the way to keep a man. 1.00
00:07:03.080 To retain a relationship.
00:07:05.080 To perhaps even force a man into marriage for some years that may not even last.
00:07:10.080 And where you were talking about the parents staying together.
00:07:14.080 And if that's what happens, then man feels they've got no other choice but to, okay, I've got married this girl.
00:07:20.080 She's pregnant. 1.00
00:07:21.080 How long is that going to last?
00:07:23.080 Because they're then forced into the situation.
00:07:25.080 They actually don't want to live together.
00:07:27.080 But then they understand the responsibility of co-parenting.
00:07:32.080 You know, if the woman has done that and their father has tried and said, right, I'm going to marry you. 0.73
00:07:39.080 Or I'm going to move in with you.
00:07:40.080 We're having a child together.
00:07:41.080 I don't like what you've done.
00:07:42.080 You know, you forced me into it.
00:07:43.080 But I'm going to try.
00:07:44.080 That's an exception, I'd say.
00:07:45.080 Yeah.
00:07:46.080 It's a good question, though.
00:07:47.080 It's a good question.
00:07:48.080 They're forced into living with each other for the sake of the children.
00:07:58.080 Where you said the children have to stay together.
00:08:00.080 Was he dating her first?
00:08:02.080 Was he like dating her?
00:08:03.080 Was it a situationship?
00:08:05.080 There was one of the gyms that I used to go to.
00:08:13.080 The girl got pregnant on purpose. 1.00
00:08:16.080 Thinking that would enhance a relationship.
00:08:19.080 Force them into marriage. 0.95
00:08:21.080 And being able to keep the relationship.
00:08:23.080 She was like dating her.
00:08:24.080 Yeah, they were dating.
00:08:25.080 They were dating and they split up.
00:08:28.080 And all I can say is, you know, there are exceptions.
00:08:31.080 The most amazing father ever.
00:08:34.080 He took up his responsibilities.
00:08:35.080 He absolutely adores his son.
00:08:37.080 But he was forced into that situation.
00:08:40.080 But all that did is, you know, they end up breaking up.
00:08:42.080 Did they get married and then separate?
00:08:44.080 Or just like, they just agreed that they couldn't make it work.
00:08:47.080 That they weren't interested in each other.
00:08:49.080 They just decided to raise his child, but like separately.
00:08:52.080 They were raising the child separately.
00:08:54.080 She forced him into situation to try and retain the relationship.
00:08:58.080 Yeah.
00:08:59.080 That's an exception.
00:09:00.080 I think the main point here is like, taking accountability of your purposeful actions.
00:09:05.080 But what happened to the relationship?
00:09:07.080 Like, what happened to the relationship after like, she like, basically baby trapped him?
00:09:11.080 Like...
00:09:12.080 It broke down.
00:09:13.080 Yeah.
00:09:14.080 It broke down.
00:09:15.080 Did they decide to like, force themselves to live together?
00:09:20.080 And like...
00:09:21.080 Exactly.
00:09:22.080 No, none of that.
00:09:23.080 She forced the situation.
00:09:24.080 She forced the situation, which obviously he was not happy about.
00:09:28.080 Yeah.
00:09:29.080 But despite the situation, and then breaking up, he stepped up as one of the most responsible,
00:09:36.080 amazing fathers that you could ever meet.
00:09:38.080 Whilst living separately though, yeah?
00:09:39.080 Yes.
00:09:40.080 Okay.
00:09:41.080 Most men would though.
00:09:42.080 Most men would.
00:09:43.080 Like most, like the majority of men. 0.79
00:09:45.080 Yeah.
00:09:46.080 Like we think logically, right?
00:09:47.080 Of course.
00:09:48.080 We go out to cover the bases.
00:09:49.080 I want to make sure that my child can eat.
00:09:51.080 I want to make sure that my child has a reef over there.
00:09:53.080 And I want to make sure that my child has an education.
00:09:55.080 The other comfort bits, we may not all be so good at that.
00:09:58.080 But I'll say that in no such situation to speak until women who are thinking of doing 1.00
00:10:04.080 this right now, to trap a man, that is the best way to terminate your relationship.
00:10:10.080 Because that guy right there, he may have...
00:10:12.080 He may...
00:10:13.080 With patience, he may have...
00:10:14.080 He may have loved you for life.
00:10:16.080 Right?
00:10:17.080 Like helping a man is almost the most surest way to create an enemy of...
00:10:22.080 Like that guy hates, hates, hates her existence.
00:10:25.080 Yeah.
00:10:26.080 But loves his child.
00:10:27.080 Of course.
00:10:28.080 You know what I'm saying?
00:10:29.080 So it's a thing where like...
00:10:30.080 It's an unproductive strategy.
00:10:31.080 It's an impatient way of getting love.
00:10:33.080 And it doesn't work because it's not sustainable because you haven't built that foundation.
00:10:37.080 And all of a sudden you're in a really high pressure situation where you're like,
00:10:39.080 Oh my God, I've got to deal with the child.
00:10:40.080 That's a terrible thing to do.
00:10:41.080 That's a horrible thing.
00:10:42.080 That's a horrible thing to do.
00:10:43.080 That's a horrible thing to do.
00:10:44.080 Do you know what it is as well?
00:10:45.080 That's...
00:10:46.080 That's...
00:10:47.080 I'm really conflicted on that because I don't really like rewarding bad behavior.
00:10:50.080 But at the same time, like I think it's about the kids first.
00:10:52.080 I don't know.
00:10:53.080 Because you know what it is?
00:10:54.080 Men are more accountable for their actions.
00:10:55.080 So a man in that situation is going to think, you know what?
00:10:58.080 It's my thought.
00:10:59.080 I'm not in her.
00:11:00.080 So...
00:11:01.080 I've got to look after the kids.
00:11:02.080 You know what I mean?
00:11:03.080 No one told me to do it.
00:11:04.080 I did it.
00:11:05.080 And...
00:11:06.080 There's also the point.
00:11:08.080 I mean, I'm talking about this as a woman.
00:11:10.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:11.080 And I'm almost siding with a man.
00:11:12.080 I'm talking about this woman because I know people that have done this.
00:11:15.080 Where the woman on purpose will miss taking her pill. 1.00
00:11:20.080 And whatever else she's doing, she will make the situation so it actually happens.
00:11:26.080 How do you...
00:11:27.080 How do you...
00:11:28.080 Did they tell you this?
00:11:29.080 Or how do you know they did it?
00:11:30.080 Well, if we're talking about my...
00:11:33.080 The guy I know from the gym, I don't know what happened there.
00:11:36.080 But I do...
00:11:37.080 My most recent ex...
00:11:39.080 You know, we kept going back, you know, on, off, on, off.
00:11:42.080 And in between, one of the times where he ended up dating someone else,
00:11:46.080 then we got back together, she actually did that.
00:11:49.080 She claimed she was taking her pill and there was all these sorts of things.
00:11:54.080 She tried to trap him.
00:11:57.080 Yeah, she stopped... 1.00
00:11:59.080 Yeah, this is my ex.
00:12:01.080 Yeah, she tried to trap him and she fell pregnant. 0.92
00:12:04.080 And he and I ended up getting back together again for the millionth time.
00:12:10.080 And then, sadly, which I would never wish on any man or any woman,
00:12:15.080 she miscarried.
00:12:18.080 But things...
00:12:20.080 I can't say, I'm not going to go into medical things,
00:12:23.080 why things happen.
00:12:25.080 But I do know that she was...
00:12:28.080 Am I allowed to say taking...
00:12:31.080 I don't know what my lads say on YouTube.
00:12:33.080 She was taking drugs. 0.90
00:12:35.080 Oh, you can say that.
00:12:36.080 My lads say, oh God, I didn't know what I can say.
00:12:38.080 You can talk about drugs on the pod.
00:12:40.080 I didn't know.
00:12:41.080 She was taking a certain type of drug.
00:12:44.080 And I can only guess.
00:12:47.080 I can't say for definite.
00:12:48.080 But I could say that what she was taking and her lifestyle and the alcohol and the things that she was doing 1.00
00:12:54.080 may have, this is may, but necessarily contributed to that.
00:13:00.080 Stress on the body will induce an abortion. 0.98
00:13:02.080 I mean, there's a reason Drake puts hot sauce in his condoms.
00:13:05.080 Come on.
00:13:06.080 Like, there's a reason.
00:13:07.080 Like, girls do that, yeah. 1.00
00:13:08.080 I didn't know...
00:13:09.080 Do you guys, do you think that a girl that lies to a man about being on the pill, 0.77
00:13:13.080 um, and gets pregnant should be pursued for fraud? 1.00
00:13:17.080 No, but it's disgusting.
00:13:19.080 It's disgusting.
00:13:20.080 It's disgusting behavior.
00:13:22.080 No, sexual assault.
00:13:23.080 Let's say it could be proven.
00:13:25.080 Like, she admitted.
00:13:26.080 I told him I was taking birth control and I wasn't.
00:13:28.080 S.A.
00:13:29.080 Oh, 100%.
00:13:30.080 S.A.
00:13:31.080 Because it's not consensual.
00:13:32.080 And if man stealths and pretends to wear a condom and he's not, that is S.A. 0.68
00:13:36.080 So if you pretend to take the condom, you're not, that's S.A. 0.91
00:13:40.080 Yeah.
00:13:41.080 It'll have his own name, but it's definitely...
00:13:43.080 I think, again, why did I decide to agree?
00:13:46.080 Why did I decide to agree once with Pearl?
00:13:48.080 Because now I seem to agree with her on a lot.
00:13:50.080 I do think that sometimes...
00:13:51.080 They're turning you. 0.98
00:13:52.080 No, you're not turning me.
00:13:53.080 I think we're just finding common ground because there's gray areas in the world,
00:13:56.080 as you know.
00:13:57.080 But I do think that there's a lot of, um, things that in the relationship between
00:14:02.080 women and men where women are actually favored and they do then kind of get away 0.71
00:14:08.080 with taking, with not taking accountability for certain stuff.
00:14:11.080 So that is why I would then just say from the moment, go.
00:14:15.080 Pick somebody that will be a good father to your children and a good man to you.
00:14:21.080 And that doesn't mean he needs to be with you.
00:14:23.080 That's all you need to do.
00:14:24.080 In fact, forget about the good man.
00:14:25.080 Just let him be a good father.
00:14:26.080 That's all you need.
00:14:27.080 Because it's that kid.
00:14:28.080 Forget about your relationship with him.
00:14:30.080 Don't.
00:14:31.080 How would the fraud thing work?
00:14:32.080 Like, just like thinking out, like, uh, and it makes sense.
00:14:35.080 But is it like, would the fraud payments cancel out the...
00:14:39.080 I don't know.
00:14:40.080 I don't know.
00:14:41.080 How would you ever prove that as well?
00:14:44.080 Yeah.
00:14:45.080 And then what would happen with a baby?
00:14:47.080 Um, I would guess the only way you could prove it is a text.
00:14:51.080 If she told someone.
00:14:52.080 Oh, you're visual recorded her.
00:14:53.080 Yeah.
00:14:54.080 I don't...
00:14:55.080 That's how...
00:14:56.080 I would guess, um...
00:14:57.080 It's quite common, this.
00:14:58.080 But then that just becomes controlling it.
00:14:59.080 You said visually recording her.
00:15:00.080 Like, what?
00:15:01.080 Visually recording her.
00:15:02.080 You know, a girl... 1.00
00:15:03.080 I have no idea.
00:15:04.080 A girl?
00:15:05.080 I mean...
00:15:06.080 A girl admitted it on... 0.90
00:15:07.080 A girl admitted it on national TV.
00:15:09.080 She asked...
00:15:10.080 She asked...
00:15:11.080 It was on a talk show a couple years ago.
00:15:13.080 And she asked the host if she should...
00:15:15.080 I think it was Wendy Williams maybe, or maybe a different host. 1.00
00:15:18.080 Um...
00:15:19.080 And she basically asked them if she would...
00:15:22.080 She could stop taking the pill.
00:15:24.080 She... 1.00
00:15:25.080 Her husband doesn't want more kids.
00:15:26.080 She does.
00:15:27.080 Should she stop taking the pill and just get pregnant? 1.00
00:15:29.080 And literally they told her yes.
00:15:31.080 That's wrong.
00:15:32.080 If the man's unsure and like...
00:15:33.080 I don't know, like...
00:15:34.080 If you're that unsure that your wife's gonna do that. 0.83
00:15:36.080 He didn't want any more kids.
00:15:37.080 And like...
00:15:38.080 I don't know.
00:15:39.080 I don't know the situation between them two.
00:15:40.080 Get the snip.
00:15:41.080 But yeah, he either gets a vasectomy or he just starts wearing condoms.
00:15:43.080 If you were that unsure.
00:15:44.080 Obviously, I don't know that situation.
00:15:45.080 I don't think...
00:15:46.080 I don't think most men expect their wife to do that. 0.54
00:15:48.080 Yeah, that's right.
00:15:49.080 That's right.
00:15:50.080 Yeah.
00:15:51.080 I feel like...
00:15:52.080 He's watching TV.
00:15:53.080 He's like...
00:15:54.080 What?
00:15:55.080 If you're managing that kind of dishonest...
00:15:57.080 It's entrapment.
00:15:58.080 Why are you there?
00:15:59.080 Like, if you're like...
00:16:00.080 I have an idea she could do this.
00:16:01.080 So I'm gonna get the snip.
00:16:02.080 Or...
00:16:03.080 I think I'm like, bro, like...
00:16:04.080 Why are you with this dishonest person?
00:16:05.080 You shouldn't have to think like that.
00:16:06.080 But you know what?
00:16:07.080 I think on this subject, yeah?
00:16:08.080 Talking as a guy.
00:16:09.080 I think there's also needs to be...
00:16:12.080 I guess more accountability from both sides.
00:16:17.080 Because I feel like a lot of this falls on the women. 1.00
00:16:19.080 100%.
00:16:20.080 Because, you know, if you don't want to take...
00:16:23.080 If you don't want to take pills, then what do you do?
00:16:26.080 Do you know what I mean?
00:16:27.080 Like, most guys would not go through the same equivalent.
00:16:30.080 And there are those options.
00:16:31.080 So I feel like it's about balancing that in a way.
00:16:33.080 Because, yes, I do agree.
00:16:36.080 If you say you own the pill and you don't take the pill.
00:16:38.080 Even the pill itself isn't 100%.
00:16:39.080 So, do you know what I mean?
00:16:40.080 So, I think it's a bit foolish to rely on a pill.
00:16:44.080 And with the expectation that you will never have a child.
00:16:47.080 Yeah, and this just opens up the idea.
00:16:49.080 Should men have to kind of do something about contraception 0.99
00:16:52.080 other than just like wearing a condom?
00:16:54.080 Because it's all the responsibilities on the women. 1.00
00:16:56.080 When men could have temporary vasectomies.
00:16:58.080 My girl, we got like...
00:16:59.080 We got 41 forms of birth control.
00:17:01.080 True.
00:17:02.080 We could get an IUD.
00:17:03.080 You could get...
00:17:04.080 I don't...
00:17:05.080 You can get an IUD.
00:17:06.080 That's 99 points.
00:17:07.080 And I get 100 side effects from one of them.
00:17:09.080 Exactly.
00:17:10.080 Then have the guys you sleep with wear condoms. 0.97
00:17:12.080 Yeah, but condoms don't always work.
00:17:14.080 Okay, then get a plan B.
00:17:16.080 Yeah, but why does it have to always fall on me?
00:17:18.080 Like, why does it always have to be my body?
00:17:19.080 Because we have the freedom.
00:17:21.080 It comes with responsibility.
00:17:22.080 But men could also just get a temporary vasectomy.
00:17:25.080 And it's completely reversible.
00:17:26.080 You want them to have...
00:17:27.080 Celibacy is the safest bet.
00:17:28.080 Thank you.
00:17:29.080 100%.
00:17:30.080 Yes.
00:17:31.080 Wait, you think...
00:17:32.080 Temporary vasectomy doesn't have side effect.
00:17:33.080 You think vasectomy is the same thing as birth control?
00:17:36.080 Temporary vasectomy.
00:17:37.080 Temporary vasectomy hasn't got a side effect.
00:17:39.080 Me taking loads of forms of birth control, I could gain weight.
00:17:41.080 I could be emotional.
00:17:42.080 I could feel just like...
00:17:43.080 I could get depressed.
00:17:44.080 You could also be celibate.
00:17:45.080 Come on.
00:17:46.080 Celibacy is 100% guaranteed.
00:17:47.080 We also have the option of abortion.
00:17:49.080 We're the ones that put them on child support.
00:17:51.080 Keep your pants locked.
00:17:52.080 Come on.
00:17:53.080 Men and women, keep your pants locked. 1.00
00:17:55.080 Put a padlock.
00:17:56.080 This has been my saying for a year or two now.
00:18:01.080 To anybody who asks me, put a padlock on your pants.
00:18:06.080 That's a new saying.
00:18:07.080 Padlock your pants.
00:18:08.080 There's a simple answer as well.
00:18:09.080 You could only just have sex with people you are okay having a child with. 0.64
00:18:13.080 Yeah.
00:18:14.080 That's another option.
00:18:15.080 But that temporary vasectomy option you said, I don't know about that one.
00:18:17.080 I meant solution-minded.
00:18:18.080 No.
00:18:19.080 Padlock the pants.
00:18:20.080 He's like, we're not doing the padlock thing.
00:18:22.080 I have to ask myself to have a child and you can't just have a temporary vasectomy that doesn't make you feel any different.
00:18:28.080 Exactly.
00:18:29.080 Why do guys have the sexual liberation to fuck whoever they want?
00:18:32.080 Sorry.
00:18:33.080 Literally.
00:18:34.080 Whereas a woman has to worry about the repercussions of having sex with whoever she wants. 1.00
00:18:38.080 Whether she has a child because of that.
00:18:40.080 She just wanted to go out and have sex and have fun.
00:18:42.080 And now she can deal with those consequences where the man can nut in her and then just fuck off somewhere else. 0.64
00:18:47.080 He can be on child support for 18 years.
00:18:50.080 There are men that have committed suicide over the amount of child support that they pay.
00:18:54.080 They're financially incentivized in court to overestimate the cost that it takes to raise a child so that they can hook men on child support. 0.97
00:19:01.080 They actively had sex with her.
00:19:02.080 I'm not talking about long-term things.
00:19:04.080 I'm talking about hook-up situations.
00:19:05.080 They actively, if they're having sex with her and you cummed in her, then you actively did that. 0.99
00:19:10.080 And she has to go the next morning and get the morning after pill.
00:19:13.080 Or if she's too late for that, she has to get the abortion. 1.00
00:19:16.080 Maybe you don't know him.
00:19:17.080 What repercussions does he have?
00:19:19.080 She gets that choice.
00:19:22.080 They're both doing the same thing.
00:19:24.080 They're both responsible in the situation.
00:19:26.080 So the woman gets to have the freedom to get the plan B or the abortion. 1.00
00:19:30.080 He has no choice.
00:19:31.080 Like, if he got her pregnant and he doesn't believe in abortion, what choice does he have?
00:19:34.080 None.
00:19:35.080 If she wants to put him on child support, what choice does he have?
00:19:37.080 None.
00:19:38.080 If he doesn't believe in abortion, she has to live with those consequences. 0.69
00:19:41.080 If she has to get pregnant, she has to not. 1.00
00:19:43.080 No, she could give it up for adoption.
00:19:44.080 My mom got pregnant at 17.
00:19:45.080 She gave the kid up for adoption.
00:19:46.080 Even the process of getting pregnant, I think, can be quite a strain in your psychology.
00:19:51.080 Well, you have abortion, but then you can get an abortion. 1.00
00:19:54.080 Even that has a strain.
00:19:55.080 It's legal and free.
00:19:56.080 Because loads of people will say to you, you gave up a lie.
00:19:58.080 Now you're just asking to undo biology.
00:20:00.080 You can't.
00:20:01.080 How about this one?
00:20:02.080 I was just saying that as a comeback to that celebrity thing.
00:20:04.080 Yeah.
00:20:05.080 I mean...
00:20:06.080 Sorry, I was just saying that as a comeback to like, you were all saying like, just be celibate
00:20:09.080 then.
00:20:10.080 But like, what if you do just want to like, go out and have sex with people?
00:20:12.080 Then you have to deal with the consequences of that.
00:20:13.080 You can do that.
00:20:14.080 I say fine.
00:20:15.080 But if you're going to do that, I would say get an IUD.
00:20:16.080 Right.
00:20:17.080 It seems like you're trying to argue with biology.
00:20:19.080 The contraceptive falls on the woman. 0.86
00:20:21.080 Yeah.
00:20:22.080 It's always the woman's fault. 1.00
00:20:23.080 Because of biology.
00:20:24.080 She's the one that has to give birth and stuff. 1.00
00:20:27.080 And she has to deal with like being pregnant.
00:20:29.080 But why does contraceptive have to fall on her when all these contraceptive methods most likely, 0.99
00:20:34.080 like they cause like hormonal imbalances and they have side effects on her.
00:20:38.080 Whereas the man, most men are more likely to look for one, like one night stands and stuff.
00:20:42.080 And they can just go and fuck this girl and then he doesn't have to deal with any of it.
00:20:45.080 One out of three men are either virgins or having had sex in the past year, under 30.
00:20:49.080 So it's not, and women are having more sex than men. 0.99
00:20:52.080 Yeah.
00:20:53.080 And even male contraception that has been trialled has had side effects of female contraception.
00:20:57.080 No, so the issue, like a lot of times they say that, but that's not true.
00:21:00.080 It's not true.
00:21:01.080 No, they were sterilized from it.
00:21:03.080 And I think one or two guys died.
00:21:05.080 Oh my gosh.
00:21:06.080 So it was a pretty, you know.
00:21:07.080 Yeah, but also death is a side effect of some contraceptions.
00:21:10.080 They do say it does right inside, it could possibly lead to that.
00:21:13.080 Right, but I think it was like a sample of a thousand roughly, or maybe it was a thousand
00:21:18.080 or less.
00:21:19.080 If I'm, it's off the top of my head, but it wasn't a big sample size.
00:21:22.080 So if you're taking birth control and you knew it was one out of a thousand, you probably,
00:21:25.080 I wouldn't do it.
00:21:26.080 But it is true. 0.90
00:21:27.080 Why do women have to take responsibility? 1.00
00:21:29.080 It doesn't know.
00:21:30.080 But I'm saying, I'm saying, okay, okay.
00:21:32.080 Let's, let's go from the beginning.
00:21:34.080 Every, every step of the way women have choice, men don't. 1.00
00:21:37.080 Yeah.
00:21:38.080 Okay.
00:21:39.080 So let me, let me just, I know, I know.
00:21:40.080 Wait, please let me, let me finish this and I'll explain.
00:21:42.080 So if we both want to have sex after the sex, men lose the choice because women have the 0.99
00:21:48.080 choice to be on birth control, actually before, even before women have the choice to be on
00:21:52.080 birth control or not.
00:21:53.080 That's our choice, right?
00:21:54.080 We have the choice to track when we're ovulating.
00:21:56.080 We know when we're ovulating, they don't.
00:21:58.080 That's a choice, right?
00:21:59.080 We have the choice to go get the plan B.
00:22:01.080 He can't make you take it.
00:22:03.080 That's a choice.
00:22:04.080 We have the choice to say, hey, if outside of SA, I don't have sex without condoms.
00:22:09.080 That's a choice.
00:22:10.080 Then if I, if I get pregnant, you can get an abortion. 1.00
00:22:14.080 That's a choice.
00:22:15.080 Him being on child support for 18 years, no choice.
00:22:19.080 No choice.
00:22:20.080 He goes to jail if he doesn't pay it.
00:22:22.080 Here I think they seize your assets.
00:22:23.080 In the US they go to jail.
00:22:25.080 It's peak.
00:22:29.080 But I just say, just be selective.
00:22:33.080 I'm not going to lie.
00:22:34.080 I'm not on any birth control.
00:22:36.080 Why?
00:22:37.080 Because I'm selective and I'm careful and I'm not out there like that.
00:22:40.080 Do you see what I mean?
00:22:41.080 I'm natural and I'm not going to put things in my body that are going to ruin me.
00:22:46.080 So I'm taking the responsibility for the situation I put myself in.
00:22:49.080 And I'm not doing the things that are going to put me at risk.
00:22:51.080 It's really that simple.
00:22:52.080 You just got to make better decisions for yourself.
00:22:54.080 And we need to stop talking about men and women.
00:22:57.080 Make better decisions for yourself.
00:22:58.080 Men, make better decisions.
00:23:00.080 Maybe pick better women. 1.00
00:23:01.080 Women that seem to be maybe a little bit more mentally stable. 0.97
00:23:04.080 Don't just go off of a one night stand.
00:23:06.080 I heard the West is great.
00:23:07.080 Or not the West.
00:23:08.080 The East is great.
00:23:09.080 I heard the passport.
00:23:10.080 I've heard great things about Brazil for the guys.
00:23:12.080 Be careful.
00:23:13.080 Well, actually let me not do that because I'll get cancelled.
00:23:16.080 All men have to do is just wrap it up though. 0.83
00:23:18.080 Simple.
00:23:19.080 Unless you're Drake.
00:23:20.080 Yeah.
00:23:21.080 Unless you're Drake.
00:23:22.080 Just wrap it up.
00:23:23.080 Just wrap it up.
00:23:24.080 And if it breaks and it's unlucky in it, then it falls onto the woman.
00:23:27.080 It's unlucky.
00:23:28.080 It's unlucky if it breaks.
00:23:29.080 You can't control if a condom breaks.
00:23:30.080 I agree.
00:23:31.080 I hear stories and I'm like, y'all are wild then.
00:23:33.080 But the whole point is that we have more choice in it.
00:23:37.080 So it comes with being more responsible.
00:23:39.080 But you don't even have to pay for condoms.
00:23:43.080 All you have to do is go to your doctor, go to your sexual health clinic. 0.85
00:23:46.080 Whether you are a woman or a man, you can go to your clinic and saying,
00:23:51.080 I need some surprise.
00:23:53.080 They will give you a nice little paper bag.
00:23:55.080 Yes, I've had that before.
00:23:57.080 And they will give that to you whether you are a man or a woman.
00:24:00.080 So there's no excuses, even as a woman, if you don't want to take the pill 0.90
00:24:05.080 and you want to use a condom.
00:24:07.080 Yeah.
00:24:09.080 To have supplies for free.
00:24:12.080 I think that's the part.
00:24:13.080 I don't know what you're saying, sorry.
00:24:14.080 Yeah.
00:24:15.080 Because I know there's different...
00:24:16.080 Certain women don't like having rubber downstairs and stuff, right? 1.00
00:24:22.080 With the condom situation.
00:24:23.080 I get that.
00:24:24.080 But I feel like a lot of these decisions that we've been discussing
00:24:28.080 has just been a short-term interaction with a long-term consequence
00:24:32.080 that a lot of people don't want to take accountability for.
00:24:35.080 How about investing, if you're not comfortable with the idea of celibacy
00:24:39.080 or having sex to procreate, investing more time in educating yourself
00:24:43.080 in ways to naturally, I guess, reduce the possibility of having a child.
00:24:51.080 You know, as you were saying about cycles, for example.
00:24:53.080 Or men training themselves to pull out.
00:24:56.080 Or, you know what I mean, retention, all these kind of things.
00:25:00.080 Pre-comics.
00:25:01.080 Pre-comics.
00:25:02.080 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:25:03.080 There are things that you can do before you have that interaction
00:25:06.080 and risk it.
00:25:07.080 Do you know what I mean?
00:25:08.080 Risk it long-term.
00:25:09.080 I mean, I don't think there's enough of a conversation around
00:25:11.080 different exercises you can do to basically self-con...
00:25:16.080 Basically, natural contraception techniques or following the women's cycle, for example.
00:25:21.080 Yeah, I agree.
00:25:22.080 You can only get pregnant, like, three to five, roughly, days in a month.
00:25:25.080 Exactly, yeah.
00:25:26.080 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:27.080 And more often than not, I could be wrong, but...
00:25:29.080 Do correct me, women, but, like, my understanding is, from my experience, 0.98
00:25:34.080 I've...
00:25:35.080 When women have been more attracted to me, I've been when they've been more fertile. 0.99
00:25:40.080 Yeah, there's, like, but, yeah.
00:25:41.080 So chances are, more of it falls on you, women, because you know when you're fertile. 1.00
00:25:46.080 We don't.
00:25:47.080 So it's like, when you're having these fertile experiences,
00:25:49.080 you're increasing the likelihood of even having a child.
00:25:51.080 So why not just get accustomed to having sex when you're not fertile 0.93
00:25:56.080 and reducing that possibility, rather than just saying, you know...
00:25:59.080 Sex is less enjoyable when you're not fertile. 0.89
00:26:01.080 And to be fair...
00:26:02.080 There we go, it's enjoyment now.
00:26:03.080 But this is...
00:26:04.080 It's all you gotta do with the consequences.
00:26:05.080 Yeah, but it's like, it's like, you guys wanna do whatever you want
00:26:07.080 and have no responsibility.
00:26:08.080 Yeah, it's the same thing as...
00:26:09.080 That's how men feel.
00:26:10.080 If we're gonna champion my...
00:26:11.080 Men have all the responsibility. 0.99
00:26:13.080 Men have all the responsibility without any of the freedom. 0.96
00:26:16.080 It's my fault if I get pregnant, if a man comes inside me, 1.00
00:26:19.080 because I wasn't taking the pill.
00:26:20.080 Wait, but that's...
00:26:21.080 I feel like that's confusing.
00:26:22.080 How's sex with you?
00:26:23.080 Wait, wait, wait, I just wanna...
00:26:25.080 Wait, wait, wait.
00:26:26.080 I can't put artificial hormones in my body,
00:26:27.080 so it's now my fault that someone's...
00:26:28.080 So then don't have sex with people without a condom.
00:26:30.080 Somewhat.
00:26:31.080 That's the part I'm a bit confused with.
00:26:32.080 Just don't...
00:26:33.080 Okay, okay, guys, guys, guys.
00:26:34.080 It has to be one at a time.
00:26:35.080 So most of the girls I've been with outside of my relationship,
00:26:39.080 they have insisted I wear a condom.
00:26:42.080 So it's like this inequity you're talking about option.
00:26:45.080 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:26:48.080 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:26:52.080 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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