JustPearlyThings - Panel of Modern Women Get schooled on Marriage

00:00:00.000 so you haven't you haven't been raised to be a wife right that's that's what you said 1.00

00:00:03.560 so how when when do other women usually when did you start learning to be a wife would you say 1.00

00:00:08.500 at a very young age give me just one number quick just a brief of things like i was learning how to

00:00:14.180 make simple things like eggs at the age of eight nine okay eight nine so i'm okay so so you're 20

00:00:21.280 so she's she's been learning to be a wife for for 12 years so that's kind of wait wait wait let me

00:00:26.860 finish she's been learning to be a wife for 12 years right now you're behind so so right because 0.98

00:00:33.660 she's you're going to be competing for the same guys right because we all want the same men we've 1.00

00:00:39.040 established this we all want about 20 of men and you can deny it or not but you do just trust me on

00:00:44.500 this so how how would you get to a point where you could compete with her so the thing is just how you

00:00:50.840 said oh i've been learning to cook eggs like for as a wife yeah like not entirely as a wife maybe

00:00:58.000 just as a woman natural life skills you know natural life skills so when you said that i was literally

00:01:03.080 just going to jump in and say yeah i have also been taught how to do those things but not for anybody

00:01:08.780 else other than me yeah like as a woman you know i think that's an important thing to say the point

00:01:14.360 is still the same though is that you're not you're not learning the key skills and mentalities needed

00:01:19.140 to maintain a long-term relationship with with a man but surely if i can do that for myself i have

00:01:26.100 the facilities to do that for someone else but it's not it's not about cooking cooking is an example

00:01:32.940 of a skill that comes with it right because you have to feed the kids you know i know some guys can

00:01:37.540 afford uber eats but but but but like my point my point is you have to learn from wives how to get 1.00

00:01:45.020 along with a man and if you didn't have that as an example you didn't learn you don't know and so a

00:01:51.240 lot of times women we get to an age like 20 21 22 23 and we don't realize we're behind because all the 0.98

00:01:58.380 other women have been learning this for 10 years and now we're trying to play catch up and instead of 1.00

00:02:03.560 you know and i would just recommend trying to get women that are wives see if someone 1.00

00:02:07.380 to learn from i don't know i think it's maybe my perspective is that if i know how to do it i

00:02:12.220 know i can do it for other people like it's not that simple but you keep thinking it's about cooking

00:02:17.900 and it's not about cooking no no no i'm just saying like if i can love myself and i can be there for

00:02:22.320 myself and i can provide for myself how i've been taught to i can do that for other people i think

00:02:27.100 i think the thing is do you know what the only thing that i think like i completely agree with you

00:02:31.540 like when you love yourself you love other people but something that i like have been learning

00:02:35.720 is that the way we love ourselves as women is not the same way that a man will want to be loved

00:02:40.740 so it's like so nobody so it's like you know when you're giving like the answers that we would give

00:02:45.160 ourselves like we would give logical answers to ourselves but a man like he probably wouldn't

00:02:49.500 want a logical answer from his woman because then it's like i'm not sure loving i'm not sure loving

00:02:53.640 yourself is is is the route to being able to love somebody else in a relationship it sounds very

00:02:57.920 solipsistic it's very solipsistic isn't it it's like oh i can i love myself i can nurture myself and

00:03:02.880 everything but what's that what does that do in terms of giving somebody somebody else sustenance

00:03:07.540 marriage is supposed to be about the family before you it's not about like it has enough marriage 0.95

00:03:13.340 has nothing to do with happiness marriage has nothing to do with loving yourself it's about

00:03:17.800 loving the family before i love myself agreed the key trait is selflessness so that's another hint that

00:03:23.740 that you're being misled is that you're saying all this stuff about self-love but the key trait for a

00:03:27.900 marriage is selflessness it's the man being selfless thinking of his family his wife before himself

00:03:31.800 it's the woman being selfless we have a generation of women who are being who growing up thinking

00:03:36.160 oh so me loving myself loving myself you're going to be loving yourself at 27 yeah and you're going

00:03:41.860 to be looking for decent guys after you've made all the wrong choices you're going to realize there's

00:03:45.680 only like two guys in there who have a long-term job and who actually like have are respectable

00:03:49.520 people and those guys will have 17 women who are all waiting for that same spot and then you're 1.00

00:03:54.680 going to talk to 32 year olds who will be getting run through who are going to be too busy trying to

00:03:58.540 lie to you that they're having fun when they're paying a quarter of their salary to therapists

00:04:01.660 every month right and that's my concern is that you you you if that if that cycle happens because

00:04:07.140 that that is he literally just set a cycle that we all see all the time my concern from you and this

00:04:12.900 is coming from care i didn't mean to attack you and i if i did i am sorry no i'm i am simply trying

00:04:17.660 to stress to you that if you go that route by the time you meet him he won't want you

00:04:22.680 and that and that is just a concern i'm not saying i'm right no no i'm saying there's a high

00:04:27.520 probability concern i just think my personal opinion is that if you don't have self-love you've

00:04:32.960 got nothing yeah hands up that's it you need to have self-love first you need to and also to know

00:04:37.900 how for how someone else should love you as well i have a question i have a question what what is

00:04:42.880 self-love appreciation of yourself content because i i think a lot of times we confuse um narcissism

00:04:50.640 with self-love i think when i hear you guys talk it sounds very narcissistic and i'm just wait wait

00:04:57.380 wait before you react wait please please even even when you're talking about in a relationship

00:05:02.440 you're saying i'm i'm a fixer i feel like but then what did you do wrong i feel like he did something

00:05:08.400 wrong i had to fix him yeah i feel like a lot of women like they're like they think it's like a

00:05:14.140 one-way thing but it's a two-way thing and also like with self-love i feel like a woman to be in a

00:05:22.500 healthy relationship anyway she does have to love herself first place base because otherwise the 1.00

00:05:28.140 insecurities will just take over agree it will just mess up the relationship like the devil is a liar

00:05:33.960 the devil is a liar he's taken a truth and twisted it in a way that led to the wrong decision you know

00:05:39.200 what it is because it's a worldly it's a love that like people think love is like hugs and like kisses

00:05:43.860 and like baths and face masks but really and truly like loving yourself is it's a tough love like you

00:05:51.640 have to love and if you truly love yourself you're going to put aside things that make you feel

00:05:55.480 comfortable to get uncomfortable to better yourself i think the best wives honestly don't really think 1.00

00:06:01.240 about themselves they think about everyone else i've never heard like i'm just being honest guys

00:06:05.500 i've never heard someone that i respect and admire as a wife talk about self-love that's not my mother

00:06:10.700 wait wait wait they only they only care about everyone else like it's always the woman that's 0.87

00:06:17.160 catering to everyone like going to the drinks getting the like cooking like like it's just like

00:06:22.340 a motherly present it all seems very um it all seems very modern and sort of um you know the kind of

00:06:29.040 stuff you see on instagram and like you know quotes and stuff like that it's like if you think about

00:06:32.800 like my you know grandparents and stuff like that i mean they didn't have time for all this sort of

00:06:36.080 like introspection it was like you know my grandmother was i think the you know left school

00:06:39.800 very young had to go and go out to you know and supportive family um you know then there was a bloody

00:06:45.120 war and all this kind of stuff like like people were people had serious stuff going on and then you

00:06:50.000 know they had children and she had to look after the children my grandfather go out to work etc etc

00:06:53.880 there there wasn't this time for this like navel gazing and this sort of like oh do i do i love

00:06:58.400 myself enough and all that it just feels a bit like for example my grandmother she never loved

00:07:02.120 herself and now she's suffering of dementia like uh what does that mean have one another to do with

00:07:08.180 each other because like for example like my grandmother she always said i love my husband i love

00:07:12.520 my kids and i love this but and when i remember even like my brother asked her like uh abuela do you love

00:07:18.020 yourself she's never answered but it just sounds like that shows that she's a high level the highest

00:07:25.120 form of love the highest form of love is when you forget yourself it's forgetting yourself if you

00:07:30.180 really master love love is about what you do for others it's not really about yourself that's why

00:07:34.320 what's what pearl said on on on the money it's about it's covert narcissism you're saying you love

00:07:39.540 your self-love self-love what you're talking about is i'm all about me and me is the most important when

00:07:44.200 you really understand love it's about others your your abuela gave everything for her family yeah

00:07:49.100 right that's the highest form of love you asked her what do you need she's like i don't even know i'm

00:07:53.000 just here for you guys right that's she probably thought it was a dumb question yeah she probably

00:07:56.860 thought it was a dumb question like what and you know what else i've noticed that the women that get 1.00

00:08:01.600 the most from men give the most yeah and they're never counting they're never keeping score of what

00:08:06.880 she like i did all this like it's like a red flag when i hear girls say oh i did this for him i did this

00:08:12.020 for him i did this for him because that just means you're keeping score and the women that 0.98

00:08:15.120 are genuinely motherly and are good in relationships and like that men want to be with they they give

00:08:20.560 selflessly and they don't ask for anything in return but they end up getting more yeah and you

00:08:25.260 die for that woman yeah a man would die for as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are

00:08:31.660 demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super 0.82

00:08:38.660 thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - April 19, 2023

Panel of Modern Women Get schooled on Marriage

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