Panel of Modern Women Get schooled on Marriage
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
225.46399
Summary
In this episode, we talk about how women have been raised to be wives, how to be a good wife, and how to become a good mother. We also talk about the importance of a good marriage and how women need to learn to be better wives.
Transcript
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so you haven't you haven't been raised to be a wife right that's that's what you said
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so how when when do other women usually when did you start learning to be a wife would you say
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at a very young age give me just one number quick just a brief of things like i was learning how to
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make simple things like eggs at the age of eight nine okay eight nine so i'm okay so so you're 20
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so she's she's been learning to be a wife for for 12 years so that's kind of wait wait wait let me
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finish she's been learning to be a wife for 12 years right now you're behind so so right because
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she's you're going to be competing for the same guys right because we all want the same men we've
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established this we all want about 20 of men and you can deny it or not but you do just trust me on
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this so how how would you get to a point where you could compete with her so the thing is just how you
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said oh i've been learning to cook eggs like for as a wife yeah like not entirely as a wife maybe
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just as a woman natural life skills you know natural life skills so when you said that i was literally
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just going to jump in and say yeah i have also been taught how to do those things but not for anybody
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else other than me yeah like as a woman you know i think that's an important thing to say the point
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is still the same though is that you're not you're not learning the key skills and mentalities needed
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to maintain a long-term relationship with with a man but surely if i can do that for myself i have
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the facilities to do that for someone else but it's not it's not about cooking cooking is an example
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of a skill that comes with it right because you have to feed the kids you know i know some guys can
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afford uber eats but but but but like my point my point is you have to learn from wives how to get
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along with a man and if you didn't have that as an example you didn't learn you don't know and so a
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lot of times women we get to an age like 20 21 22 23 and we don't realize we're behind because all the
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other women have been learning this for 10 years and now we're trying to play catch up and instead of
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you know and i would just recommend trying to get women that are wives see if someone
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to learn from i don't know i think it's maybe my perspective is that if i know how to do it i
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know i can do it for other people like it's not that simple but you keep thinking it's about cooking
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and it's not about cooking no no no i'm just saying like if i can love myself and i can be there for
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myself and i can provide for myself how i've been taught to i can do that for other people i think
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i think the thing is do you know what the only thing that i think like i completely agree with you
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like when you love yourself you love other people but something that i like have been learning
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is that the way we love ourselves as women is not the same way that a man will want to be loved
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so it's like so nobody so it's like you know when you're giving like the answers that we would give
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ourselves like we would give logical answers to ourselves but a man like he probably wouldn't
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want a logical answer from his woman because then it's like i'm not sure loving i'm not sure loving
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yourself is is is the route to being able to love somebody else in a relationship it sounds very
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solipsistic it's very solipsistic isn't it it's like oh i can i love myself i can nurture myself and
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everything but what's that what does that do in terms of giving somebody somebody else sustenance
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marriage is supposed to be about the family before you it's not about like it has enough marriage
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has nothing to do with happiness marriage has nothing to do with loving yourself it's about
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loving the family before i love myself agreed the key trait is selflessness so that's another hint that
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that you're being misled is that you're saying all this stuff about self-love but the key trait for a
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marriage is selflessness it's the man being selfless thinking of his family his wife before himself
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it's the woman being selfless we have a generation of women who are being who growing up thinking
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oh so me loving myself loving myself you're going to be loving yourself at 27 yeah and you're going
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to be looking for decent guys after you've made all the wrong choices you're going to realize there's
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only like two guys in there who have a long-term job and who actually like have are respectable
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people and those guys will have 17 women who are all waiting for that same spot and then you're
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going to talk to 32 year olds who will be getting run through who are going to be too busy trying to
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lie to you that they're having fun when they're paying a quarter of their salary to therapists
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every month right and that's my concern is that you you you if that if that cycle happens because
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that that is he literally just set a cycle that we all see all the time my concern from you and this
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is coming from care i didn't mean to attack you and i if i did i am sorry no i'm i am simply trying
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to stress to you that if you go that route by the time you meet him he won't want you
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and that and that is just a concern i'm not saying i'm right no no i'm saying there's a high
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probability concern i just think my personal opinion is that if you don't have self-love you've
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got nothing yeah hands up that's it you need to have self-love first you need to and also to know
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how for how someone else should love you as well i have a question i have a question what what is
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self-love appreciation of yourself content because i i think a lot of times we confuse um narcissism
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with self-love i think when i hear you guys talk it sounds very narcissistic and i'm just wait wait
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wait before you react wait please please even even when you're talking about in a relationship
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you're saying i'm i'm a fixer i feel like but then what did you do wrong i feel like he did something
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wrong i had to fix him yeah i feel like a lot of women like they're like they think it's like a
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one-way thing but it's a two-way thing and also like with self-love i feel like a woman to be in a
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healthy relationship anyway she does have to love herself first place base because otherwise the
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insecurities will just take over agree it will just mess up the relationship like the devil is a liar
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the devil is a liar he's taken a truth and twisted it in a way that led to the wrong decision you know
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what it is because it's a worldly it's a love that like people think love is like hugs and like kisses
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and like baths and face masks but really and truly like loving yourself is it's a tough love like you
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have to love and if you truly love yourself you're going to put aside things that make you feel
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comfortable to get uncomfortable to better yourself i think the best wives honestly don't really think
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about themselves they think about everyone else i've never heard like i'm just being honest guys
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i've never heard someone that i respect and admire as a wife talk about self-love that's not my mother
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wait wait wait they only they only care about everyone else like it's always the woman that's
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catering to everyone like going to the drinks getting the like cooking like like it's just like
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a motherly present it all seems very um it all seems very modern and sort of um you know the kind of
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stuff you see on instagram and like you know quotes and stuff like that it's like if you think about
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like my you know grandparents and stuff like that i mean they didn't have time for all this sort of
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like introspection it was like you know my grandmother was i think the you know left school
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very young had to go and go out to you know and supportive family um you know then there was a bloody
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war and all this kind of stuff like like people were people had serious stuff going on and then you
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know they had children and she had to look after the children my grandfather go out to work etc etc
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there there wasn't this time for this like navel gazing and this sort of like oh do i do i love
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myself enough and all that it just feels a bit like for example my grandmother she never loved
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herself and now she's suffering of dementia like uh what does that mean have one another to do with
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each other because like for example like my grandmother she always said i love my husband i love
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my kids and i love this but and when i remember even like my brother asked her like uh abuela do you love
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yourself she's never answered but it just sounds like that shows that she's a high level the highest
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form of love the highest form of love is when you forget yourself it's forgetting yourself if you
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really master love love is about what you do for others it's not really about yourself that's why
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what's what pearl said on on on the money it's about it's covert narcissism you're saying you love
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your self-love self-love what you're talking about is i'm all about me and me is the most important when
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you really understand love it's about others your your abuela gave everything for her family yeah
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right that's the highest form of love you asked her what do you need she's like i don't even know i'm
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just here for you guys right that's she probably thought it was a dumb question yeah she probably
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thought it was a dumb question like what and you know what else i've noticed that the women that get
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the most from men give the most yeah and they're never counting they're never keeping score of what
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she like i did all this like it's like a red flag when i hear girls say oh i did this for him i did this
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for him i did this for him because that just means you're keeping score and the women that
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are genuinely motherly and are good in relationships and like that men want to be with they they give
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selflessly and they don't ask for anything in return but they end up getting more yeah and you
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die for that woman yeah a man would die for as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are
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