JustPearlyThings - Panel SCHOOLED This PLUS-SIZED Woman

00:00:00.000 I have a cousin from Trinidad two weeks ago that died from a cardiac arrest due to over-obesity.

00:00:09.800 Now, she was one of the most comfortable in asking happiest person, make everyone laugh type of person.

00:00:18.780 And she was definitely unbothered with this entire world.

00:00:22.880 Would you call that body positivity?

00:00:24.900 That's very sad and I'm sorry for your loss.

00:00:27.240 No, I don't think that what you've just said relates to body positivity.

00:00:33.060 I think that's incredibly unfortunate what's happened.

00:00:35.500 But do I think that if people had been harsher on her, she would have lost the weight?

00:00:39.360 No, I don't.

00:00:40.960 I don't think that's how it works.

00:00:42.600 I don't think being mean to people makes them lose weight.

00:00:45.160 Yeah, but talking about body positivity, does it help?

00:00:51.780 Does talking to you nice help?

00:00:53.940 Yeah, I think it does.

00:00:55.020 I think telling people to be kind to themselves goes a long way.

00:00:58.440 I think it just makes you comfortable to do the same thing.

00:01:01.460 No, but at the same time, I feel like it depends on what type of person you are, isn't it?

00:01:05.860 So depending on what makes you tick, you know what I'm saying?

00:01:08.900 So some people might respond to body shaming, whereas other people might respond to a different type of method, you know?

00:01:16.240 Wait, if it helped, wouldn't you see most of these influencers lose weight?

00:01:20.600 I mean, I am an influencer, and I'm actively trying to lose weight, and I've documented it on my platform.

00:01:25.960 And I've said how I've struggled with it.

00:01:27.440 Like, I find it really difficult.

00:01:29.200 What part of it do you struggle with, though?

00:01:30.720 For me, like, I have a lot of problems related to when I used to be quite thin.

00:01:36.320 I was very, very unhealthy.

00:01:38.320 And it meant that when I was thin, I went to a, so when I was, like, doing acting and stuff, I was in a theater company where they would write all our weights on the wall.

00:01:47.100 And it was always, like, the goal not to be the biggest person, and everyone was skinny, right?

00:01:50.760 So I have a lot of problems around that, around weight, around weighing myself obsessively.

00:01:56.060 And because of that, like, I would just restrict and binge and restrict and binge and restrict and binge, which, at the time, I was making myself sick.

00:02:04.060 So I stayed skinny.

00:02:05.480 And then when I stopped throwing up, I got very fat because I didn't break the patterns, but I still had the eating disorder of the restrict and binge and restrict and binge, restrict and binge.

00:02:13.740 So when I stopped throwing up, I just gained all the weight.

00:02:15.960 And that's still something I struggle with.

00:02:18.140 Like, I restrict and restrict and restrict, and I feel very in control when I restrict.

00:02:22.320 But then I will binge when I've had a vulnerable moment or I've had an argument with my boyfriend or something in my life has gone wrong.

00:02:28.660 And I struggle with that.

00:02:29.540 But I think the point is that across the board, I don't see plus-size influencers that have built their brand on body positivity losing weight across the board.

00:02:38.340 If anything, I see them get fatter and I see them drop dead in their, like, mid-30s to 40s.

00:02:43.060 Because they're getting rewarded.

00:02:43.980 You're getting paid to be a plus-size model. 0.92

00:02:45.660 Like, in your example, why would you want to lose weight if you're getting paid to be in a plus-size ad?

00:02:51.240 Yeah, but I...

00:02:52.180 For me, if I'm plus-size, I'm plus-size.

00:02:56.600 And, sorry, what was I going to say?

00:03:00.020 Sorry, it just went out of my mouth.

00:03:03.560 I'm sorry, guys.

00:03:03.900 I would say that there's also a difference between, like, I'm a plus-size model.

00:03:07.360 If you lose weight, are you still going to get plus-size jobs?

00:03:10.040 So, in terms of modeling, yes.

00:03:13.360 But right now, I would say I'm at a weight where I feel unhealthy.

00:03:17.760 I can still be, like, overweight and feel healthy.

00:03:21.300 I could still qualify for plus-size jobs.

00:03:23.060 Based on my height and things like that, because I'm shorter and curvier, I'll still qualify.

00:03:27.460 And I still worked in plus-size when I was technically, like, a healthy weight on paper.

00:03:31.240 I was still plus-size because I had big boobs, a big bum, and I was short.

00:03:35.820 And that's sort of what qualifies you for plus-size modeling.

00:03:37.580 So, I did still work in that then.

00:03:39.220 I've changed agencies when I've gained a lot of weight.

00:03:41.740 If you were 120 pounds, would you still get plus-size modeling gigs? 1.00

00:03:45.240 No, but I'd still be an influencer, and I'd still be very likable.

00:03:48.000 And I think people would still follow my content.

00:03:49.300 Right, but we're just asking about the plus-size.

00:03:51.060 It's a hustle.

00:03:52.440 You're likable.

00:03:53.340 You can do well.

00:03:53.860 But you don't just build yourself just on... 0.81

00:03:55.400 Nobody follows someone just because they're like, oh, this is a fat person.

00:03:57.640 I'm going to follow them.

00:03:58.300 Like, nobody's following Tess Holliday just because, I mean, apart from the fetish people. 0.73

00:04:01.480 No, but she wouldn't be famous if she wasn't fat. 1.00

00:04:04.620 But you're influencer, I'm much influencer, right?

00:04:07.240 So, people follow you because, why?

00:04:12.000 I agree.

00:04:12.740 I would say that being overweight, being obese, being fat is oftentimes a hustle.

00:04:17.540 It can be a brand.

00:04:19.540 It can be your identity, just like being a PT can be your identity. 1.00

00:04:22.780 One is better than the other.

00:04:25.480 It's better for the individual at the end of the day.

00:04:28.700 In this economy, they both make money, unfortunately.

00:04:32.060 And I would agree that being obese is oftentimes incentivized, especially if we're talking about being an influencer.

00:04:39.100 Like the video that you mentioned, Pearl, about someone who is plus-sized doing a what I eat in a day.

00:04:45.060 It would be very easy for a person like that to secure a brand deal and start advertising, I don't know, like corn, vegetarian, sausages.

00:04:53.120 And they add that in and say, it's vegetarian, so it's fine.

00:04:56.280 It's healthy.

00:04:56.960 I'm not eating meat.

00:04:57.760 But then they still eat like a six-pack of donuts in a day.

00:05:01.380 So I think what we're talking about, if we're talking about obesity being incentivized economically, we're then talking about essentially hustle culture.

00:05:11.720 And it is a hustle.

00:05:12.820 It's just an opening for a company to make more money, you know, as simple as that.

00:05:16.000 I would actually argue with that on saying when I made a video saying I was going to lose weight and it went viral because I made a video that was embarrassing.

00:05:24.660 And I said I couldn't get down a slide and I was really embarrassed and I wanted to lose weight.

00:05:27.240 And that did really well in the algorithm and I got so many sponsorships and companies emailing me with their weight loss products because that is a huge industry.

00:05:37.220 And I think that's far bigger than any body positivity or an industry like the weight loss industry is a huge thing.

00:05:42.140 I instantly had people being like, take our lollies, take our diet drinks, take this, take that, show it on your TikTok.

00:05:47.020 Yeah, I think weight loss is a bigger industry than people being like, I'm plus-sized and it's cool.

00:05:52.300 Would you rather take weight loss products or stay as a plus-sized model? 0.73

00:05:57.900 I mean, I don't think the weight loss products work.

00:05:59.640 I don't think those lollipops and-

00:06:01.180 I mean, calorie deficit works.

00:06:02.820 Yeah, calorie deficit works. 0.96

00:06:04.560 It sucks, but it works.

00:06:07.300 But again, I've said, if I could press a button and just be a healthy weight and not struggle. 0.96

00:06:11.880 You know, if one is both detrimental to you, which would you rather?

00:06:17.140 Not eating and, you know, maybe having the products that are forcing you into a calorie deficit or staying at an unhealthy weight, what are you taking?

00:06:24.660 I mean, I've already said, like, if I could press a button and be a healthy weight and have a healthy relationship with food, I would press it.

00:06:29.680 But that's just not the reality for me and a lot of other people.

00:06:32.260 And for me, it's been a grind.

00:06:33.520 And like, I have been losing weight, but it's hard.

00:06:36.060 What's the solution?

00:06:36.800 Like, what's the-

00:06:37.320 Okay, you say it's a grind for a lot of people, but what is the actual solution of losing weight?

00:06:42.060 And for me, I think the solution is telling people to like themselves, to do the best thing for themselves and not hate themselves in the process.

00:06:49.100 For me, it's being healthy and being active.

00:06:51.960 And like I said, it's about body positivity is literally accepting the way you are.

00:06:57.500 If I'm plus size, I'm plus size.

00:06:58.960 And that's why I tell people, accept the way you look, be happy.

00:07:03.720 You are the way you are, and you should really embrace the way you are.

00:07:08.000 Because when you're not happy with yourself, you don't-

00:07:11.020 It affects you in work.

00:07:12.440 You don't have no confidence, no self-esteem.

00:07:15.300 And yeah, you should be able to do anything.

00:07:17.980 Just be-

00:07:18.460 And body positivity, again, I'm going to say it again, it's literally accepting the way you look.

00:07:23.880 Let me get a little bit deep with it.

00:07:25.060 If someone was to die from obesity, what would you tell that person?

00:07:29.320 Honestly, I'd say, do you know what?

00:07:31.580 You should have eaten healthy and you should have exercised.

00:07:33.840 You knew the risk of being big.

00:07:34.460 So why are we not telling the person who's going to be-

00:07:36.400 I'm not telling anyone to be big.

00:07:38.040 But I think the point is, like, the most common theme I've heard is, is just accept how you are.

00:07:43.100 Okay, for example-

00:07:44.080 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:07:44.740 So this is the most common thing I've heard.

00:07:46.580 Would you guys agree?

00:07:47.220 Just accept how you are.

00:07:48.380 Like, to like yourself, to like the way, to like yourself, accept how you are.

00:07:53.420 Don't hate yourself for being fat.

00:07:56.040 Pearl, bear in mind, we're not trying to promote-

00:07:58.720 Well, I'm not trying to promote unhealthiness.

00:08:00.820 If you watch my TikToks and my Instagram, I'm dancing.

00:08:04.180 I'm active.

00:08:05.300 Even on my stories, I'm always promoting good.

00:08:07.600 If you're overweight and you accept that, then you're accepting, like, a higher risk for diabetes.

00:08:14.640 You're accepting a higher risk for early death.

00:08:16.820 You're accepting a higher risk for a heart attack.

00:08:19.200 All right, I'm going to explain something.

00:08:20.660 Like, you have all these health risks.

00:08:21.780 Okay, so for example-

00:08:22.860 And the thing is, like, you're-

00:08:24.700 I want to explain.

00:08:25.440 Wait, wait, wait.

00:08:26.160 And the thing is, like, your families are the ones that are going to have to take care of you.

00:08:30.900 If you can't take care of yourself if you get too big.

00:08:33.600 So, like, then it's not just your problem.

00:08:35.840 It becomes other people's problems.

00:08:37.740 More comfortable to get the less your checking numbers as well.

00:08:40.820 And I feel like people who are comfortable in their obesity don't even check their numbers.

00:08:44.640 Well, and the one thing I don't like is, like, they'll say it's, like, unhealthy to weigh yourself every day.

00:08:49.420 When I lost weight by weighing myself every day.

00:08:52.180 And I don't think that's, like, they did studies and they found that the people, they didn't give them a diet or anything.

00:08:57.260 But the people that would just weigh themselves every single day lost the most weight.

00:09:01.520 Yeah.

00:09:02.480 It's just a journey.

00:09:03.960 Like, for me, it's honestly a journey.

00:09:05.640 And that's why I just promote, you know, because I know confidence is such a big thing.

00:09:12.200 That's why I promote, like, body positivity.

00:09:15.220 And it's not about obesity.

00:09:16.660 It's just about literally.

00:09:17.860 But I think it does become about obesity when it's, like, we're putting on.

00:09:21.940 It's, like, okay, if an OnlyFans model puts on a thong and puts that on and says, I'm not promoting sexuality.

00:09:27.940 Well, you kind of are.

00:09:29.380 And so if you're overweight and you're putting your body out there, it's, like, you are promoting.

00:09:34.400 Let me ask you a question, Sugar Puff, I'm going to pause you there.

00:09:36.860 So, in the kindest way.

00:09:39.640 So, if someone is big, are you saying that they then do not deserve to be heard or seen because they are big?

00:09:47.660 No, I didn't say that.

00:09:48.920 But are they leading with their weight?

00:09:51.060 I would say if you're leading with your body, then, yes, you are leading with your weight.

00:09:55.700 And how does someone, so let's take Lizzo, for example, because she's, like, right in the center of this topic.

00:10:00.620 That is the example we like to you.

00:10:03.580 Yeah, we love a little Lizzo.

00:10:04.720 Yes.

00:10:05.740 So, Lizzo is a performer.

00:10:06.580 Great music, though.

00:10:07.500 Great music.

00:10:08.280 Decent music.

00:10:10.560 Not a Lizzo fan.

00:10:12.040 Well, do you know what?

00:10:12.600 I've never heard one of her songs because her music doesn't appeal to me.

00:10:15.620 But I know that she's right in the center of body positivity, her music notwithstanding.

00:10:21.100 So, let's take Lizzo, for example.

00:10:23.020 A lot of people slate her because she apparently leads with her weight. 1.00

00:10:26.700 She wears revealing clothing.

00:10:28.380 And I've seen on the other end of that argument, you've got people who compare her to, say, Rihanna or Beyonce. 0.98

00:10:34.980 They wear similar clothing, but their shape is very different.

00:10:38.120 I would argue that Lizzo, A, is actually potentially quite fit because she performs for long periods of time. 0.99

00:10:45.100 Maybe fit is the wrong word.

00:10:47.240 She's fit at E12.

00:10:48.320 I haven't finished talking.

00:10:51.480 One second.

00:10:52.260 So, I would say that, A, she maybe has a lot of stamina because she performs for a long period of time. 1.00

00:10:58.120 I think she plays the flute sometimes when she performs and she dances and she sings.

00:11:01.920 That's a lot to do in, let's say, 90 minutes all at the same time.

00:11:05.300 There's a lot going on there.

00:11:06.080 So, I applaud her stamina.

00:11:08.000 Also, I could never be a Walmart Lizzo at all.

00:11:11.660 So, I would say that with Lizzo being at the center of the body positivity discussion,

00:11:18.880 we should probably look at her stamina, A. 1.00

00:11:21.380 B, we should say that, is she leading with her weight or does she just exist as a fat person who's on stage because of her career choice? 1.00

00:11:27.580 I would say Adele did not lead with her weight. 0.98

00:11:30.040 Nobody really commented on Adele's weight because she did not lead with that.

00:11:35.520 She led with her talent.

00:11:36.420 And if you looked at her Instagram, it was her in long, beautiful dresses singing.

00:11:40.560 No one really talked about it until she lost weight.

00:11:43.200 On the other hand, Lizzo, if you look at her Instagram, it damn near looks like corn.

00:11:48.120 Like, it's her in thong bikini.

00:11:49.760 She wore a thong bikini thing to a basketball game with kids at it in the name of body positivity. 1.00

00:11:56.440 Sometimes I think it's a joke.

00:11:57.560 That's what we mean.

00:11:58.200 Kelly Clarkson, right?

00:11:59.600 I think people may have commented on it because she did gain a lot of weight. 1.00

00:12:03.180 People will comment.

00:12:04.200 But it's not the main topic of discussion, Kelly Clarkson, because she leads with her talent. 0.99

00:12:10.960 So you think Lizzo dressing the way she dresses?

00:12:13.800 Yes.

00:12:14.200 Let's say on stage.

00:12:15.320 I don't agree with that basketball game at all.

00:12:16.460 The same way I would say an OnlyFans model leads with her sexuality. 1.00

00:12:20.860 Like a girl that's on OnlyFans and her Instagram looks like a corn hub, basically, she is leading with her sexuality. 0.70

00:12:27.520 How would you have Lizzo dress to not lead with her body?

00:12:31.000 And that's an open question.

00:12:32.100 I would say the thong thingies, it's like a – I would say the all – I would say basically change her whole wardrobe, look at – I don't know what Adele used to wear. 1.00

00:12:44.080 If you look at any girl at a festival nowadays, very revealing clothing.

00:12:47.540 So that's probably the trend.

00:12:49.420 But when Lizzo's doing it, it's getting publicized.

00:12:52.440 It's everywhere.

00:12:53.120 It's being pushed by media.

00:12:54.660 And then on top of that, she's proclaiming that she's happy at that weight as well.

00:12:58.240 So she's also leading with that – she's responding to criticism.

00:13:00.960 Why is she getting criticism?

00:13:03.160 Because the majority of people don't find that attractive.

00:13:06.120 And you guys can't – a lot of people can't do anything about that.

00:13:09.040 To the average individual, they don't find fat people attractive.

00:13:11.980 To you, maybe not.

00:13:13.180 I'm telling you, as a big person myself, I'm not going to go like, I get a lot of attention.

00:13:17.960 And I know a lot of big women that get attention. 1.00

00:13:20.320 You're talking about a niche group of people here that love fat people.

00:13:23.860 Not niche.

00:13:24.800 I don't know where you grew up.

00:13:25.580 You probably grew up with the skinny, skinny people.

00:13:27.520 But where I grew up, there's a mix.

00:13:29.180 There's literally been a mixture.

00:13:31.820 For real.

00:13:32.560 That's how it's been.

00:13:33.760 I mean, there's always going to be a market for it.

00:13:35.860 I mean, there's categories for it, Sugar Puff.

00:13:37.580 But I'm saying that the majority of people don't find it attractive.

00:13:41.060 That's why they get criticism.

00:13:42.760 And you can say it's whether they're leading with their body or not.

00:13:44.840 But at the end of the day, it's just – she's in the public light.

00:13:47.660 She's a – 1.00

00:13:48.300 And I want to say, I want to say, I want to say, I think it's three – I've got to find it.

00:13:52.140 But it's like three out of five guys will eliminate you based on your weight alone.

00:13:56.240 And they'd eliminate you based on other things as well.

00:13:58.300 Which is completely fine.

00:13:59.320 I'm not too concerned about it.

00:14:00.240 Like, a lot of guys would eliminate me because I'm black or because I'm maybe not tall enough or too – like, you know, it is what it is.

00:14:06.820 Yeah, but it's not being fatphobic.

00:14:08.120 That's not being fatphobic.

00:14:09.440 That's just being –

00:14:10.220 Who said fatphobic?

00:14:11.300 No, as in, if you like – it's just preference.

00:14:13.660 Like what you were saying.

00:14:14.380 That's what I was about to say before you interrupted me.

00:14:15.900 Couldn't you argue that the best dating advice for women is to lose weight? 1.00

00:14:19.840 I would say that I have never struggled regardless of my weight.

00:14:23.080 Like, I've been thin and I've been fat.

00:14:25.600 And I have never ever – like, this is the biggest – look, it's not the biggest because I've lost a stone.

00:14:29.360 But it's almost the biggest I've ever been.

00:14:31.120 And I've never struggled in life.

00:14:32.600 I've always been called pretty.

00:14:33.920 I've always got jobs that, like, are around what I look like.

00:14:37.460 I've done well online, which a lot of people would argue you have to be pretty to do.

00:14:42.180 And I've never been – I can get into the Mayfair clubs.

00:14:44.640 I can do everything that I've ever wanted to do.

00:14:46.520 And I've never felt like I couldn't.

00:14:48.280 Well, I mean, you have youth on your side.

00:14:50.100 You're 26, right?

00:14:51.980 And wouldn't you argue – you told me a different show that you got more attention when you were thinner.

00:14:56.120 Yeah.

00:14:56.340 You still get attention now.

00:14:57.320 I mean, yeah.

00:14:57.980 But I've never struggled – I mean, the attention is a burden a lot of the time for most women. 1.00

00:15:02.600 A burden.

00:15:03.140 No, no.

00:15:03.880 Women compete for attention. 1.00

00:15:05.680 No.

00:15:06.380 For me –

00:15:07.060 Women will get BBLs. 0.83

00:15:08.640 They will get surgery just to get attention from men. 0.99

00:15:10.640 One of my big goals is, like – so my audience has split 50-50 male-female on all of my platforms.

00:15:16.240 Okay.

00:15:16.440 My biggest goal is to go to more women. 0.99

00:15:19.100 Okay.

00:15:19.420 So at the moment, I'm trying to build on Facebook.

00:15:21.420 And when I target my ads, I target them at women. 1.00

00:15:24.020 I tell girly stories.

00:15:25.040 I tell gossipy things.

00:15:26.040 I aim my Twitch as, like, girly, sleepover vibes.

00:15:29.560 Like, I don't want men because I don't like that attention.

00:15:32.200 I have a boyfriend.

00:15:33.220 I have a good life.

00:15:34.320 I don't need men, like, nearing at me.

00:15:37.320 Yeah, well, I mean, again, this isn't – but I'm not talking about you personally.

00:15:39.800 But I think when we have women getting extreme surgeries just to get attention from men, I think –

00:15:44.620 I think we could say that women do want attention from men. 0.96

00:15:46.720 I would just – I would just say that –

00:15:47.920 Have you seen the BBLs?

00:15:49.180 Have you seen them on the planet?

00:15:50.420 Oh, come on. 0.87

00:15:51.160 I've worked as an actor.

00:15:52.140 I've seen a lot of boob jobs. 1.00

00:15:52.900 I've seen a lot of BBLs.

00:15:53.820 Right.

00:15:54.000 I've seen it in modeling.

00:15:55.280 But, like, what I would say is, like, as a plus-size person, I've never felt, like, discriminated against.

00:16:01.240 I've never felt ugly because I was fat.

00:16:02.840 I've never been told I was ugly because I was fat, other than, like, occasionally in Pearl's chat.

00:16:07.320 But –

00:16:07.440 Do you know what I mean?

00:16:09.160 Like, I just – I've never suffered for that.

00:16:11.540 And so I would never give someone that dating advice because it's never held me back personally.

00:16:16.000 That's –

00:16:16.720 You personally is the key there, isn't it?

00:16:18.500 You personally.

00:16:19.260 It hasn't held you back.

00:16:20.180 But then I guess if we did a survey of fat people, fat women, probably, if we're being truthful, being fat has held them back at points, whether they know it or not. 0.99

00:16:29.900 Right?

00:16:30.940 I have a question.

00:16:31.740 Do you feel that?

00:16:32.840 I don't.

00:16:33.520 I've never really actively dated, so I can't really say.

00:16:36.140 And also, as I – like, to my own point, it has probably held me back without my knowledge.

00:16:41.680 Okay.

00:16:42.140 Like, there's the seen and then there's the unseen, right?

00:16:44.300 And, you know, there would be what some people in Pearl's chat would call the liberals.

00:16:48.700 They would say that you've got white privilege on your side.

00:16:51.040 Like, there's the intersectionality part of it that will go, like, well, maybe you haven't been declined jobs because you are desirable in the market for other reasons.

00:17:00.520 And I guess I've got more formula.

00:17:02.420 Yeah.

00:17:06.700 And I'll be back in the middle.

00:17:07.700 Like, there's a place there.

00:17:08.140 I think there's a piece of songs that I'm going to be trying to be in Jinx.

00:17:08.860 Well, it's a piece of things here.

00:17:10.260 I'll be trying to say good luck – maybe not other than mobile people.

JustPearlyThings - June 29, 2023

Panel SCHOOLED This PLUS-SIZED Woman

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