JustPearlyThings - June 29, 2023


Panel SCHOOLED This PLUS-SIZED Woman


Episode Stats


Length

17 minutes

Words per minute

215.53996

Word count

3,707

Sentence count

298

Harmful content

Misogyny

26

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the tragic death of a cousin who died from over-obesity and the impact it has on body positivity in the world. We also talk about body shaming, binge eating and how to overcome an eating disorder.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I have a cousin from Trinidad two weeks ago that died from a cardiac arrest due to over-obesity.
00:00:09.800 Now, she was one of the most comfortable in asking happiest person, make everyone laugh type of person.
00:00:18.780 And she was definitely unbothered with this entire world.
00:00:22.880 Would you call that body positivity?
00:00:24.900 That's very sad and I'm sorry for your loss.
00:00:27.240 No, I don't think that what you've just said relates to body positivity.
00:00:33.060 I think that's incredibly unfortunate what's happened.
00:00:35.500 But do I think that if people had been harsher on her, she would have lost the weight?
00:00:39.360 No, I don't.
00:00:40.960 I don't think that's how it works.
00:00:42.600 I don't think being mean to people makes them lose weight.
00:00:45.160 Yeah, but talking about body positivity, does it help?
00:00:51.780 Does talking to you nice help?
00:00:53.940 Yeah, I think it does.
00:00:55.020 I think telling people to be kind to themselves goes a long way.
00:00:58.440 I think it just makes you comfortable to do the same thing.
00:01:01.460 No, but at the same time, I feel like it depends on what type of person you are, isn't it?
00:01:05.860 So depending on what makes you tick, you know what I'm saying?
00:01:08.900 So some people might respond to body shaming, whereas other people might respond to a different type of method, you know?
00:01:16.240 Wait, if it helped, wouldn't you see most of these influencers lose weight?
00:01:20.600 I mean, I am an influencer, and I'm actively trying to lose weight, and I've documented it on my platform.
00:01:25.960 And I've said how I've struggled with it.
00:01:27.440 Like, I find it really difficult.
00:01:29.200 What part of it do you struggle with, though?
00:01:30.720 For me, like, I have a lot of problems related to when I used to be quite thin.
00:01:36.320 I was very, very unhealthy.
00:01:38.320 And it meant that when I was thin, I went to a, so when I was, like, doing acting and stuff, I was in a theater company where they would write all our weights on the wall.
00:01:47.100 And it was always, like, the goal not to be the biggest person, and everyone was skinny, right?
00:01:50.760 So I have a lot of problems around that, around weight, around weighing myself obsessively.
00:01:56.060 And because of that, like, I would just restrict and binge and restrict and binge and restrict and binge, which, at the time, I was making myself sick.
00:02:04.060 So I stayed skinny.
00:02:05.480 And then when I stopped throwing up, I got very fat because I didn't break the patterns, but I still had the eating disorder of the restrict and binge and restrict and binge, restrict and binge.
00:02:13.740 So when I stopped throwing up, I just gained all the weight.
00:02:15.960 And that's still something I struggle with.
00:02:18.140 Like, I restrict and restrict and restrict, and I feel very in control when I restrict.
00:02:22.320 But then I will binge when I've had a vulnerable moment or I've had an argument with my boyfriend or something in my life has gone wrong.
00:02:28.660 And I struggle with that.
00:02:29.540 But I think the point is that across the board, I don't see plus-size influencers that have built their brand on body positivity losing weight across the board.
00:02:38.340 If anything, I see them get fatter and I see them drop dead in their, like, mid-30s to 40s.
00:02:43.060 Because they're getting rewarded.
00:02:43.980 You're getting paid to be a plus-size model. 0.92
00:02:45.660 Like, in your example, why would you want to lose weight if you're getting paid to be in a plus-size ad?
00:02:51.240 Yeah, but I...
00:02:52.180 For me, if I'm plus-size, I'm plus-size.
00:02:56.600 And, sorry, what was I going to say?
00:03:00.020 Sorry, it just went out of my mouth.
00:03:03.560 I'm sorry, guys.
00:03:03.900 I would say that there's also a difference between, like, I'm a plus-size model.
00:03:07.360 If you lose weight, are you still going to get plus-size jobs?
00:03:10.040 So, in terms of modeling, yes.
00:03:13.360 But right now, I would say I'm at a weight where I feel unhealthy.
00:03:17.760 I can still be, like, overweight and feel healthy.
00:03:21.300 I could still qualify for plus-size jobs.
00:03:23.060 Based on my height and things like that, because I'm shorter and curvier, I'll still qualify.
00:03:27.460 And I still worked in plus-size when I was technically, like, a healthy weight on paper.
00:03:31.240 I was still plus-size because I had big boobs, a big bum, and I was short.
00:03:35.820 And that's sort of what qualifies you for plus-size modeling.
00:03:37.580 So, I did still work in that then.
00:03:39.220 I've changed agencies when I've gained a lot of weight.
00:03:41.740 If you were 120 pounds, would you still get plus-size modeling gigs? 1.00
00:03:45.240 No, but I'd still be an influencer, and I'd still be very likable.
00:03:48.000 And I think people would still follow my content.
00:03:49.300 Right, but we're just asking about the plus-size.
00:03:51.060 It's a hustle.
00:03:52.440 You're likable.
00:03:53.340 You can do well.
00:03:53.860 But you don't just build yourself just on... 0.81
00:03:55.400 Nobody follows someone just because they're like, oh, this is a fat person.
00:03:57.640 I'm going to follow them.
00:03:58.300 Like, nobody's following Tess Holliday just because, I mean, apart from the fetish people. 0.73
00:04:01.480 No, but she wouldn't be famous if she wasn't fat. 1.00
00:04:04.620 But you're influencer, I'm much influencer, right?
00:04:07.240 So, people follow you because, why?
00:04:12.000 I agree.
00:04:12.740 I would say that being overweight, being obese, being fat is oftentimes a hustle.
00:04:17.540 It can be a brand.
00:04:19.540 It can be your identity, just like being a PT can be your identity. 1.00
00:04:22.780 One is better than the other.
00:04:25.480 It's better for the individual at the end of the day.
00:04:28.700 In this economy, they both make money, unfortunately.
00:04:32.060 And I would agree that being obese is oftentimes incentivized, especially if we're talking about being an influencer.
00:04:39.100 Like the video that you mentioned, Pearl, about someone who is plus-sized doing a what I eat in a day.
00:04:45.060 It would be very easy for a person like that to secure a brand deal and start advertising, I don't know, like corn, vegetarian, sausages.
00:04:53.120 And they add that in and say, it's vegetarian, so it's fine.
00:04:56.280 It's healthy.
00:04:56.960 I'm not eating meat.
00:04:57.760 But then they still eat like a six-pack of donuts in a day.
00:05:01.380 So I think what we're talking about, if we're talking about obesity being incentivized economically, we're then talking about essentially hustle culture.
00:05:11.720 And it is a hustle.
00:05:12.820 It's just an opening for a company to make more money, you know, as simple as that.
00:05:16.000 I would actually argue with that on saying when I made a video saying I was going to lose weight and it went viral because I made a video that was embarrassing.
00:05:24.660 And I said I couldn't get down a slide and I was really embarrassed and I wanted to lose weight.
00:05:27.240 And that did really well in the algorithm and I got so many sponsorships and companies emailing me with their weight loss products because that is a huge industry.
00:05:37.220 And I think that's far bigger than any body positivity or an industry like the weight loss industry is a huge thing.
00:05:42.140 I instantly had people being like, take our lollies, take our diet drinks, take this, take that, show it on your TikTok.
00:05:47.020 Yeah, I think weight loss is a bigger industry than people being like, I'm plus-sized and it's cool.
00:05:52.300 Would you rather take weight loss products or stay as a plus-sized model? 0.73
00:05:57.900 I mean, I don't think the weight loss products work.
00:05:59.640 I don't think those lollipops and-
00:06:01.180 I mean, calorie deficit works.
00:06:02.820 Yeah, calorie deficit works. 0.96
00:06:04.560 It sucks, but it works.
00:06:07.300 But again, I've said, if I could press a button and just be a healthy weight and not struggle. 0.96
00:06:11.880 You know, if one is both detrimental to you, which would you rather?
00:06:17.140 Not eating and, you know, maybe having the products that are forcing you into a calorie deficit or staying at an unhealthy weight, what are you taking?
00:06:24.660 I mean, I've already said, like, if I could press a button and be a healthy weight and have a healthy relationship with food, I would press it.
00:06:29.680 But that's just not the reality for me and a lot of other people.
00:06:32.260 And for me, it's been a grind.
00:06:33.520 And like, I have been losing weight, but it's hard.
00:06:36.060 What's the solution?
00:06:36.800 Like, what's the-
00:06:37.320 Okay, you say it's a grind for a lot of people, but what is the actual solution of losing weight?
00:06:42.060 And for me, I think the solution is telling people to like themselves, to do the best thing for themselves and not hate themselves in the process.
00:06:49.100 For me, it's being healthy and being active.
00:06:51.960 And like I said, it's about body positivity is literally accepting the way you are.
00:06:57.500 If I'm plus size, I'm plus size.
00:06:58.960 And that's why I tell people, accept the way you look, be happy.
00:07:03.720 You are the way you are, and you should really embrace the way you are.
00:07:08.000 Because when you're not happy with yourself, you don't-
00:07:11.020 It affects you in work.
00:07:12.440 You don't have no confidence, no self-esteem.
00:07:15.300 And yeah, you should be able to do anything.
00:07:17.980 Just be-
00:07:18.460 And body positivity, again, I'm going to say it again, it's literally accepting the way you look.
00:07:23.880 Let me get a little bit deep with it.
00:07:25.060 If someone was to die from obesity, what would you tell that person?
00:07:29.320 Honestly, I'd say, do you know what?
00:07:31.580 You should have eaten healthy and you should have exercised.
00:07:33.840 You knew the risk of being big.
00:07:34.460 So why are we not telling the person who's going to be-
00:07:36.400 I'm not telling anyone to be big.
00:07:38.040 But I think the point is, like, the most common theme I've heard is, is just accept how you are.
00:07:43.100 Okay, for example-
00:07:44.080 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:07:44.740 So this is the most common thing I've heard.
00:07:46.580 Would you guys agree?
00:07:47.220 Just accept how you are.
00:07:48.380 Like, to like yourself, to like the way, to like yourself, accept how you are.
00:07:53.420 Don't hate yourself for being fat.
00:07:56.040 Pearl, bear in mind, we're not trying to promote-
00:07:58.720 Well, I'm not trying to promote unhealthiness.
00:08:00.820 If you watch my TikToks and my Instagram, I'm dancing.
00:08:04.180 I'm active.
00:08:05.300 Even on my stories, I'm always promoting good.
00:08:07.600 If you're overweight and you accept that, then you're accepting, like, a higher risk for diabetes.
00:08:14.640 You're accepting a higher risk for early death.
00:08:16.820 You're accepting a higher risk for a heart attack.
00:08:19.200 All right, I'm going to explain something.
00:08:20.660 Like, you have all these health risks.
00:08:21.780 Okay, so for example-
00:08:22.860 And the thing is, like, you're-
00:08:24.700 I want to explain.
00:08:25.440 Wait, wait, wait.
00:08:26.160 And the thing is, like, your families are the ones that are going to have to take care of you.
00:08:30.900 If you can't take care of yourself if you get too big.
00:08:33.600 So, like, then it's not just your problem.
00:08:35.840 It becomes other people's problems.
00:08:37.740 More comfortable to get the less your checking numbers as well.
00:08:40.820 And I feel like people who are comfortable in their obesity don't even check their numbers.
00:08:44.640 Well, and the one thing I don't like is, like, they'll say it's, like, unhealthy to weigh yourself every day.
00:08:49.420 When I lost weight by weighing myself every day.
00:08:52.180 And I don't think that's, like, they did studies and they found that the people, they didn't give them a diet or anything.
00:08:57.260 But the people that would just weigh themselves every single day lost the most weight.
00:09:01.520 Yeah.
00:09:02.480 It's just a journey.
00:09:03.960 Like, for me, it's honestly a journey.
00:09:05.640 And that's why I just promote, you know, because I know confidence is such a big thing.
00:09:12.200 That's why I promote, like, body positivity.
00:09:15.220 And it's not about obesity.
00:09:16.660 It's just about literally.
00:09:17.860 But I think it does become about obesity when it's, like, we're putting on.
00:09:21.940 It's, like, okay, if an OnlyFans model puts on a thong and puts that on and says, I'm not promoting sexuality.
00:09:27.940 Well, you kind of are.
00:09:29.380 And so if you're overweight and you're putting your body out there, it's, like, you are promoting.
00:09:34.400 Let me ask you a question, Sugar Puff, I'm going to pause you there.
00:09:36.860 So, in the kindest way.
00:09:39.640 So, if someone is big, are you saying that they then do not deserve to be heard or seen because they are big?
00:09:47.660 No, I didn't say that.
00:09:48.920 But are they leading with their weight?
00:09:51.060 I would say if you're leading with your body, then, yes, you are leading with your weight.
00:09:55.700 And how does someone, so let's take Lizzo, for example, because she's, like, right in the center of this topic.
00:10:00.620 That is the example we like to you.
00:10:03.580 Yeah, we love a little Lizzo.
00:10:04.720 Yes.
00:10:05.740 So, Lizzo is a performer.
00:10:06.580 Great music, though.
00:10:07.500 Great music.
00:10:08.280 Decent music.
00:10:10.560 Not a Lizzo fan.
00:10:12.040 Well, do you know what?
00:10:12.600 I've never heard one of her songs because her music doesn't appeal to me.
00:10:15.620 But I know that she's right in the center of body positivity, her music notwithstanding.
00:10:21.100 So, let's take Lizzo, for example.
00:10:23.020 A lot of people slate her because she apparently leads with her weight. 1.00
00:10:26.700 She wears revealing clothing.
00:10:28.380 And I've seen on the other end of that argument, you've got people who compare her to, say, Rihanna or Beyonce. 0.98
00:10:34.980 They wear similar clothing, but their shape is very different.
00:10:38.120 I would argue that Lizzo, A, is actually potentially quite fit because she performs for long periods of time. 0.99
00:10:45.100 Maybe fit is the wrong word.
00:10:47.240 She's fit at E12.
00:10:48.320 I haven't finished talking.
00:10:51.480 One second.
00:10:52.260 So, I would say that, A, she maybe has a lot of stamina because she performs for a long period of time. 1.00
00:10:58.120 I think she plays the flute sometimes when she performs and she dances and she sings.
00:11:01.920 That's a lot to do in, let's say, 90 minutes all at the same time.
00:11:05.300 There's a lot going on there.
00:11:06.080 So, I applaud her stamina.
00:11:08.000 Also, I could never be a Walmart Lizzo at all.
00:11:11.660 So, I would say that with Lizzo being at the center of the body positivity discussion,
00:11:18.880 we should probably look at her stamina, A. 1.00
00:11:21.380 B, we should say that, is she leading with her weight or does she just exist as a fat person who's on stage because of her career choice? 1.00
00:11:27.580 I would say Adele did not lead with her weight. 0.98
00:11:30.040 Nobody really commented on Adele's weight because she did not lead with that.
00:11:35.520 She led with her talent.
00:11:36.420 And if you looked at her Instagram, it was her in long, beautiful dresses singing.
00:11:40.560 No one really talked about it until she lost weight.
00:11:43.200 On the other hand, Lizzo, if you look at her Instagram, it damn near looks like corn.
00:11:48.120 Like, it's her in thong bikini.
00:11:49.760 She wore a thong bikini thing to a basketball game with kids at it in the name of body positivity. 1.00
00:11:56.440 Sometimes I think it's a joke.
00:11:57.560 That's what we mean.
00:11:58.200 Kelly Clarkson, right?
00:11:59.600 I think people may have commented on it because she did gain a lot of weight. 1.00
00:12:03.180 People will comment.
00:12:04.200 But it's not the main topic of discussion, Kelly Clarkson, because she leads with her talent. 0.99
00:12:10.960 So you think Lizzo dressing the way she dresses?
00:12:13.800 Yes.
00:12:14.200 Let's say on stage.
00:12:15.320 I don't agree with that basketball game at all.
00:12:16.460 The same way I would say an OnlyFans model leads with her sexuality. 1.00
00:12:20.860 Like a girl that's on OnlyFans and her Instagram looks like a corn hub, basically, she is leading with her sexuality. 0.70
00:12:27.520 How would you have Lizzo dress to not lead with her body?
00:12:31.000 And that's an open question.
00:12:32.100 I would say the thong thingies, it's like a – I would say the all – I would say basically change her whole wardrobe, look at – I don't know what Adele used to wear. 1.00
00:12:44.080 If you look at any girl at a festival nowadays, very revealing clothing.
00:12:47.540 So that's probably the trend.
00:12:49.420 But when Lizzo's doing it, it's getting publicized.
00:12:52.440 It's everywhere.
00:12:53.120 It's being pushed by media.
00:12:54.660 And then on top of that, she's proclaiming that she's happy at that weight as well.
00:12:58.240 So she's also leading with that – she's responding to criticism.
00:13:00.960 Why is she getting criticism?
00:13:03.160 Because the majority of people don't find that attractive.
00:13:06.120 And you guys can't – a lot of people can't do anything about that.
00:13:09.040 To the average individual, they don't find fat people attractive.
00:13:11.980 To you, maybe not.
00:13:13.180 I'm telling you, as a big person myself, I'm not going to go like, I get a lot of attention.
00:13:17.960 And I know a lot of big women that get attention. 1.00
00:13:20.320 You're talking about a niche group of people here that love fat people.
00:13:23.860 Not niche.
00:13:24.800 I don't know where you grew up.
00:13:25.580 You probably grew up with the skinny, skinny people.
00:13:27.520 But where I grew up, there's a mix.
00:13:29.180 There's literally been a mixture.
00:13:31.820 For real.
00:13:32.560 That's how it's been.
00:13:33.760 I mean, there's always going to be a market for it.
00:13:35.860 I mean, there's categories for it, Sugar Puff.
00:13:37.580 But I'm saying that the majority of people don't find it attractive.
00:13:41.060 That's why they get criticism.
00:13:42.760 And you can say it's whether they're leading with their body or not.
00:13:44.840 But at the end of the day, it's just – she's in the public light.
00:13:47.660 She's a – 1.00
00:13:48.300 And I want to say, I want to say, I want to say, I think it's three – I've got to find it.
00:13:52.140 But it's like three out of five guys will eliminate you based on your weight alone.
00:13:56.240 And they'd eliminate you based on other things as well.
00:13:58.300 Which is completely fine.
00:13:59.320 I'm not too concerned about it.
00:14:00.240 Like, a lot of guys would eliminate me because I'm black or because I'm maybe not tall enough or too – like, you know, it is what it is.
00:14:06.820 Yeah, but it's not being fatphobic.
00:14:08.120 That's not being fatphobic.
00:14:09.440 That's just being –
00:14:10.220 Who said fatphobic?
00:14:11.300 No, as in, if you like – it's just preference.
00:14:13.660 Like what you were saying.
00:14:14.380 That's what I was about to say before you interrupted me.
00:14:15.900 Couldn't you argue that the best dating advice for women is to lose weight? 1.00
00:14:19.840 I would say that I have never struggled regardless of my weight.
00:14:23.080 Like, I've been thin and I've been fat.
00:14:25.600 And I have never ever – like, this is the biggest – look, it's not the biggest because I've lost a stone.
00:14:29.360 But it's almost the biggest I've ever been.
00:14:31.120 And I've never struggled in life.
00:14:32.600 I've always been called pretty.
00:14:33.920 I've always got jobs that, like, are around what I look like.
00:14:37.460 I've done well online, which a lot of people would argue you have to be pretty to do.
00:14:42.180 And I've never been – I can get into the Mayfair clubs.
00:14:44.640 I can do everything that I've ever wanted to do.
00:14:46.520 And I've never felt like I couldn't.
00:14:48.280 Well, I mean, you have youth on your side.
00:14:50.100 You're 26, right?
00:14:51.980 And wouldn't you argue – you told me a different show that you got more attention when you were thinner.
00:14:56.120 Yeah.
00:14:56.340 You still get attention now.
00:14:57.320 I mean, yeah.
00:14:57.980 But I've never struggled – I mean, the attention is a burden a lot of the time for most women. 1.00
00:15:02.600 A burden.
00:15:03.140 No, no.
00:15:03.880 Women compete for attention. 1.00
00:15:05.680 No.
00:15:06.380 For me –
00:15:07.060 Women will get BBLs. 0.83
00:15:08.640 They will get surgery just to get attention from men. 0.99
00:15:10.640 One of my big goals is, like – so my audience has split 50-50 male-female on all of my platforms.
00:15:16.240 Okay.
00:15:16.440 My biggest goal is to go to more women. 0.99
00:15:19.100 Okay.
00:15:19.420 So at the moment, I'm trying to build on Facebook.
00:15:21.420 And when I target my ads, I target them at women. 1.00
00:15:24.020 I tell girly stories.
00:15:25.040 I tell gossipy things.
00:15:26.040 I aim my Twitch as, like, girly, sleepover vibes.
00:15:29.560 Like, I don't want men because I don't like that attention.
00:15:32.200 I have a boyfriend.
00:15:33.220 I have a good life.
00:15:34.320 I don't need men, like, nearing at me.
00:15:37.320 Yeah, well, I mean, again, this isn't – but I'm not talking about you personally.
00:15:39.800 But I think when we have women getting extreme surgeries just to get attention from men, I think –
00:15:44.620 I think we could say that women do want attention from men. 0.96
00:15:46.720 I would just – I would just say that –
00:15:47.920 Have you seen the BBLs?
00:15:49.180 Have you seen them on the planet?
00:15:50.420 Oh, come on. 0.87
00:15:51.160 I've worked as an actor.
00:15:52.140 I've seen a lot of boob jobs. 1.00
00:15:52.900 I've seen a lot of BBLs.
00:15:53.820 Right.
00:15:54.000 I've seen it in modeling.
00:15:55.280 But, like, what I would say is, like, as a plus-size person, I've never felt, like, discriminated against.
00:16:01.240 I've never felt ugly because I was fat.
00:16:02.840 I've never been told I was ugly because I was fat, other than, like, occasionally in Pearl's chat.
00:16:07.320 But –
00:16:07.440 Do you know what I mean?
00:16:09.160 Like, I just – I've never suffered for that.
00:16:11.540 And so I would never give someone that dating advice because it's never held me back personally.
00:16:16.000 That's –
00:16:16.720 You personally is the key there, isn't it?
00:16:18.500 You personally.
00:16:19.260 It hasn't held you back.
00:16:20.180 But then I guess if we did a survey of fat people, fat women, probably, if we're being truthful, being fat has held them back at points, whether they know it or not. 0.99
00:16:29.900 Right?
00:16:30.940 I have a question.
00:16:31.740 Do you feel that?
00:16:32.840 I don't.
00:16:33.520 I've never really actively dated, so I can't really say.
00:16:36.140 And also, as I – like, to my own point, it has probably held me back without my knowledge.
00:16:41.680 Okay.
00:16:42.140 Like, there's the seen and then there's the unseen, right?
00:16:44.300 And, you know, there would be what some people in Pearl's chat would call the liberals.
00:16:48.700 They would say that you've got white privilege on your side.
00:16:51.040 Like, there's the intersectionality part of it that will go, like, well, maybe you haven't been declined jobs because you are desirable in the market for other reasons.
00:17:00.520 And I guess I've got more formula.
00:17:02.420 Yeah.
00:17:06.700 And I'll be back in the middle.
00:17:07.700 Like, there's a place there.
00:17:08.140 I think there's a piece of songs that I'm going to be trying to be in Jinx.
00:17:08.860 Well, it's a piece of things here.
00:17:10.260 I'll be trying to say good luck – maybe not other than mobile people.