JustPearlyThings - April 03, 2023


Pearl Asked Her This Difficult Question


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

200.54395

Word count

2,335

Sentence count

198

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the importance of sex in a relationship and why it is more important than it is in a romantic relationship. We also talk about how important it is for women to be attractive in bed and why they should be prioritised over sex.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I think I think I'd have to be attracted to him to some degree to be able to lay down
00:00:04.800 So I'd have to teach I think rather than not have an attractive man. No, there's no word. This isn't build a man
00:00:09.600 Give her one. Yeah, she'll wake him to bed. 60 seconds. That's it. I mean, I think that's important for me. They would have to be good in bed. So, but then I wouldn't be able to lay with somebody if I didn't find them attractive.
00:00:39.600 I can't. You have to. Ugly and good in bed and good-looking and rubbish. Are you going to tell me they can't go out of an ugly man?
00:00:49.600 Is that how superficial you are? What about all the ugly men out there that are hard working?
00:00:58.600 I think it's tough. I can't answer. See, I never got that because I always think if you get an ugly man, nobody's going to want him. You've got a whole man for yourself.
00:01:08.600 But then he's not making my fanny flutter. So then it's not doing it for me. So I think I would have to, yeah, maybe.
00:01:15.600 But then I have to look at him. It's a good looking. I have to look. He has to be attractive to me.
00:01:19.600 And how many hours a day are you looking at each other versus how many hours a day are you sleeping with each other?
00:01:24.600 If you're working? If you're going out together, you see it, it's, yeah.
00:01:31.600 How many hours a day do you work? About eight. How many hours a day do you sleep? About eight. That's what you've got to think about.
00:01:37.600 So you're only going to see him for that before. And depending on sexual positions, you don't even have to look at him.
00:01:44.600 I think I'd have to go with the good looking guy. That's superficial, isn't it? But I think I would have to.
00:01:54.600 Most women would, though. Yeah, I think I'd have to go. 1.00
00:01:57.600 Okay, would anyone take the not so good looking guy but good in bed?
00:02:01.600 Me.
00:02:02.600 And you too? And then you would take the hot guy? 1.00
00:02:04.600 Yeah.
00:02:05.600 I've actually been with someone that's not good looking, but it was good in bed.
00:02:09.600 And then after a while, it's like my man just started saying to me, they're good looking. It's all right.
00:02:13.600 It's all right. It's all right. It's fine.
00:02:17.600 Makes up for it in the bed.
00:02:19.600 No, I go for the person that's unattractive but good in bed because you can learn to love someone's appearance.
00:02:25.600 Even if they don't change, you can just gradually learn to love it, whereas sex is quite an intimate part of a relationship.
00:02:30.600 So even though it's not as important for women as it is for men generally, that would still be a part of your relationship missing.
00:02:38.600 How many relationships have you guys ended and why?
00:02:44.600 I've only been in one and it's not ended, so zero. Three.
00:02:51.600 Three? Three. 0.53
00:02:53.600 And why'd you end them?
00:02:55.600 They just wasn't good towards me. All violent. All violent.
00:02:59.600 You dated three violent men?
00:03:01.600 Yeah, stupid, please. First time, it's okay. Like, okay.
00:03:07.600 It happens to anyone. Second time, I should have seen the red flags, but I didn't.
00:03:12.600 And now the third time, I just feel like I need to write mug on my forehead.
00:03:16.600 Do you know men that aren't violent?
00:03:18.600 No, I do. I know a lot of men, which are my friends. It just makes no sense.
00:03:22.600 I just go for the ones that they show they're nice at first and then it's like once they grab hold of me,
00:03:28.600 they don't want me to go, so they would do anything in any type of force.
00:03:33.600 And you saw no red flags in the beginning?
00:03:37.600 A couple. Two of them, yes. One of them, no.
00:03:41.600 I just like wonder, because if I was a guy listening to this, I'd be like, why would I be nice to you?
00:03:46.600 Because you know the nice guys, but you don't pick them. If anything, it would incentivize them to be abusive. 0.99
00:03:53.600 See, that's the thing. I think, like, normally I would feel like a guy would come to me thinking,
00:04:01.600 well, she's been in three relationships that have just been violent.
00:04:04.600 But I've actually had nothing but good guys come towards me since.
00:04:08.600 I just, I've been taking my time, whether I want to be in a relationship with someone or not,
00:04:12.600 because I really don't want to go to a fourth time and that's it.
00:04:15.600 I will be getting mug tattooed on my forehead.
00:04:18.600 What about you? You're only 19.
00:04:26.600 Yeah. Have I ended a relationship? I have ended one.
00:04:30.600 And I think I ended it just because I think I just wasn't, I wasn't ready for the commitment.
00:04:36.600 Yeah. Fickle.
00:04:40.600 I think I just wasn't ready. I think it was kind of like, I was just like, yeah, nah.
00:04:45.600 And it kind of just shut me off completely.
00:04:47.600 Like after that, it was kind of like, I don't know why I did it. Nothing.
00:04:51.600 It's just completely cut off. And it was like, I didn't feel the same way anymore.
00:04:55.600 And that was literally the end of it. There's no more to that than it, than I'm saying.
00:05:00.600 But yeah.
00:05:02.600 I think we, you said you had two relationships and you ended one.
00:05:07.600 No, no, I didn't end one.
00:05:09.600 They ended both.
00:05:10.600 I'm more of a stay in a relationship, make it work kind of person and jump off and give up.
00:05:17.600 But having said that the first person wasn't a great person.
00:05:22.600 So once he left and he had made that choice, it was taken away from me.
00:05:27.600 So then I could then go and be happy.
00:05:30.600 And so I was actually grateful that he ended it.
00:05:32.600 And that's why I didn't let him come back.
00:05:34.600 I actually understand that thinking because when it's like, if they break up with you, you don't really have a choice in it.
00:05:39.600 So you don't have to like guess if it was the right choice.
00:05:41.600 Cause it wasn't your choice.
00:05:42.600 I feel like it's easier to detach when someone else breaks up with you than it is for you to break up with them.
00:05:46.600 Do you think women ever try to get guys to break up with them? 1.00
00:05:50.600 Yeah.
00:05:51.600 100%.
00:05:52.600 Yeah.
00:05:53.600 Do everything.
00:05:54.600 I feel like that happens all the time.
00:05:55.600 I feel like if you're in a relationship where you just feel like it's kind of like, he's sometimes maybe a bit more committed, but maybe not in the way that you want it to be.
00:06:03.600 You're probably going to do everything in your power for him to be like, yeah, I'm not trying, like you're doing madness.
00:06:09.600 Whereas that's not actually you, but it's kind of like you're provoking that because it's just like, you don't, it's kind of like you see it, but then at the same time you don't.
00:06:17.600 And it's like, it's easier.
00:06:18.600 Like I can't call it off cause he has valid points.
00:06:21.600 So therefore I'm going to provoke whatever situation it is to make him break up with me so that I can just be like, cool, you broke up with me and I'll leave it as it is.
00:06:28.600 And just let the case rest.
00:06:30.600 Yeah.
00:06:31.600 I just want to jump off something that you said a moment ago where a lot of times say, if you get broken up with, it's easier for you to move on.
00:06:37.600 I kind of think with women, it's the opposite because when we break up with someone, we break up with them, with them in our head. 0.99
00:06:44.600 And then, you know, six weeks later, then we break up with them.
00:06:47.600 So I thought perhaps it'd be a little easier if we leave someone because often we've planned it, you know, for a lot of women, there's a guy already waiting. 0.81
00:06:57.600 Whereas if you get broken up with, especially if you think things are going fine, it's this, you know, complete change of circumstances sprung up on you.
00:07:04.600 So I thought perhaps that'd make it a little worse.
00:07:07.600 Actually, yeah, you're probably right, actually, now that I'm thinking about it, because if things were going well, like that probably would devastate me.
00:07:17.600 Yeah.
00:07:18.600 But it's like, yeah, but it's kind of like if you're fighting already, you know, if you're fighting already, you've probably mentally checked out as well.
00:07:25.600 You just wait for one of the other person to do it.
00:07:27.600 I actually do agree with you on that one.
00:07:28.600 Like that's never happened when it was like, you know.
00:07:32.600 Do you think that women detach quicker than men?
00:07:36.600 Depends on a woman. 1.00
00:07:38.600 I feel like, okay, I feel like women detach quicker than men most of the time. 1.00
00:07:45.600 Like if she has 10 relationships, like eight or nine of them, but there's like one guy that like she cannot detach from.
00:07:52.600 Okay.
00:07:53.600 Like to like, and I use it because you can see it in pop culture, like a lot of a lot of the movies that like women love like Titanic, the notebook, what is it?
00:08:01.600 What is it about about that guy?
00:08:03.600 It's like the lady in the Titanic is like 90 talking about her high school fling.
00:08:07.600 Yeah.
00:08:08.600 And she's still talking about that.
00:08:09.600 And same with the notebook.
00:08:10.600 It's her going back to that guy from high school.
00:08:12.600 Yeah.
00:08:13.600 So I feel like unless it's like that guy, like women typically get over it easier than men. 0.59
00:08:20.600 Hmm.
00:08:21.600 But if you're like that guy to her, then she doesn't.
00:08:24.600 Hmm.
00:08:25.600 I thought the reason why I say women get over men quickly is because I think we were more of an emotional.
00:08:31.600 We're going through more of an emotional time than men are. 0.99
00:08:34.600 I feel like you're in certain situations where if something happens, it's kind of like you feel it way more than you would feel than a significant other would feel.
00:08:43.600 And then.
00:08:44.600 Yeah.
00:08:45.600 Fair enough.
00:08:46.600 I thought so I'm talking more from my experience is what I'm trying to say.
00:08:51.600 I feel like this.
00:08:52.600 I'm a very emotional person.
00:08:53.600 If something happens, I'm my emotions is in a hundred percent.
00:08:57.600 And it's kind of like if something keeps happening, I'll kind of I'll kind of get used to it and I'll kind of be that cool ever.
00:09:03.600 So if so, if you're involved in a relationship where like things will keep constantly happening, they'll get to a point you like you actually get to a point where you're kind of like, yeah, like he could do sign and I just completely like I won't react the same way anymore.
00:09:16.600 And it kind of just like the relationship will end and you can just like cool ever because you really felt what you need to felt during the relationship.
00:09:23.600 So why do you not go through heartbreak after?
00:09:25.600 I think women just underestimate men's emotions. 1.00
00:09:28.600 Yeah.
00:09:29.600 I think women are just out there crying and blubbering and whatever. 1.00
00:09:32.600 And the men just take it because if they had to turn around and cry and blubber.
00:09:36.600 I mean, if you had a man and there must be women that swear with men and they just start crying. 0.98
00:09:41.600 What do you think about them?
00:09:42.600 Lose total respect for them.
00:09:43.600 Yeah.
00:09:44.600 That's why they don't do it.
00:09:45.600 They just deal with it.
00:09:46.600 But women go out there and blubber, all their friends will come around. 1.00
00:09:49.600 Always done this.
00:09:50.600 Always done that.
00:09:51.600 Trauma.
00:09:52.600 If a man does that.
00:09:53.600 Trauma.
00:09:54.600 So you're telling me women lose respect for men that would cry to you?
00:09:56.600 Oh my God.
00:09:57.600 Yeah.
00:09:58.600 Of course.
00:09:59.600 Swear?
00:10:00.600 Is that guy leading you?
00:10:02.600 Imagine the CEO of a company just crying in front of his employees.
00:10:06.600 It's the same thing with a relationship.
00:10:08.600 You're not going to respect a guy's leadership the same way if he's crying all the time.
00:10:12.600 Can I ask?
00:10:13.600 Has a man ever cried in front of you?
00:10:15.600 I've had people be emotional towards me and it hasn't made me lose respect for you.
00:10:20.600 Cause I feel like if we're both like established that type of relationship, you can cry to me.
00:10:25.600 I'll look at you like, cool.
00:10:26.600 Let me put it this way, right?
00:10:27.600 You with a man and you tell him you don't want to be with him anymore and he starts crying
00:10:31.600 and blubbering.
00:10:32.600 What would you do?
00:10:33.600 How would you feel?
00:10:34.600 That's kind of different.
00:10:35.600 That's what we're talking about.
00:10:36.600 That's what we're talking about.
00:10:37.600 Even my pride wouldn't let me cry for someone if they broke up with me.
00:10:40.600 I thought you said that women cry and get emotional when they split up with a man.
00:10:45.600 Pardon?
00:10:46.600 I thought you said that women cry and they get emotional when they split up with a man.
00:10:50.600 I mean, they do.
00:10:51.600 Right.
00:10:52.600 So I'm saying, turn it on its head.
00:10:54.600 What if it was a man that split up with a woman and he's the one that's blubbering?
00:10:59.600 I mean, cool.
00:11:00.600 Like if you're crying, then you care, didn't it?
00:11:02.600 Like, I don't, I don't know what you actually want me to do.
00:11:04.600 How would you feel towards him?
00:11:06.600 Do you think it'd make you want to get back with him?
00:11:08.600 And then like, would you be more attracted to him or less attracted to him?
00:11:11.600 It depends on who it is.
00:11:12.600 Yeah.
00:11:13.600 If you, yeah, it depends on who it is.
00:11:15.600 If you look ugly crying though, sorry.
00:11:17.600 But no, no, no.
00:11:19.600 But yeah, it actually depends who it is.
00:11:21.600 Like.
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