In this episode, we are joined by our first guest, a very special guest who is a woman who has been through a lot in her life and has a lot of experience in the dating world. We talk about what it is like being in a long term relationship and how it has affected her and how she has dealt with the challenges that come with it.
00:00:00.000so I have a question for the girls did anyone feel like they got anything out
00:00:04.260of the whole face like a positive experience anyone money for it what I
00:00:16.440did get out of it was understanding myself and what I did want and what I
00:00:20.380didn't want from like cuz there's one thing being in a long-term relationship
00:00:24.720I've been in long-term relationships like my son died nine years my last
00:00:28.260relationship for three years I got a lot from them but what you get out of it
00:00:32.400like quite quickly is like your ics your dislikes you're okay I'm not gonna do
00:00:37.560that I don't actually like that type of guy or I don't I maybe don't vibe with
00:00:41.520this type of person so I got a lot from that do you think that whole phases make
00:00:45.360women more picky yeah 100% cuz then you can go through men quite quickly and be
00:00:55.260like make women less attached yes yeah I don't have a yes or 1 million person so
00:01:03.780I don't know about that actually actually I was on my end you're speaking to one of
00:01:08.400my best friends and she's slept with a few guys and she's in a relationship but she
00:01:14.760and I and I kind of speak to her about you know like she we have a mutual
00:01:19.760understanding of we don't kind of like it's still under 10 like way less under
00:01:35.30010 but it's not one like me do you know I mean so for her and I said to her you
00:01:40.280know that's a flex I speak to her about like power bonding and stuff like that and
00:01:48.020she she said you know we have a very very respectful relationship where we
00:01:54.440allow each other to fulfill our points and she would just say you know what
00:01:58.160even though I'm in the relationship even cuz I've slept with more guys I love my
00:02:02.680boyfriend but I can imagine not being with him I can you know imagine not drifting
00:02:08.940away and because little things piss me off listen you know if me and him break
00:02:15.300up if we divorce I'm going into deep-rooted depression I'm losing my job
00:02:20.460I'm moving back in my parents I can't imagine but because I don't I'm not
00:02:25.800looking I don't I can't even comprehend do you think that's healthy though to be
00:02:30.000that attached that bonded to somebody that you don't like your end of your you
00:02:35.100being an individual being on this planet on this earth yeah is so rooted in
00:02:39.840somebody else's existence that if they died or even if they died sorry when I
00:02:44.160be extreme there if you went if you weren't together anymore that you would
00:02:48.060then lose yourself I mean I have a dog that we have a dog that's five years old and I know she's
00:03:03.960gonna die in ten years and I will literally cry every day knowing that she's gonna die
00:03:07.500before me but with him it's completely different and it's like yeah I can
00:03:11.640understand how some people can see that as like a insecurity or like but like
00:03:18.900some people may see as an insecurity or codependence and stuff like that but I
00:03:23.160I think we I can I hope I can speak for that we choose to live our life
00:03:31.380together as individuals we are very very different people and I think we we you
00:03:39.140know we we choose to live together but can I ask you cannot do you think yeah
00:03:45.320that you the reason why you feel that way is because you come from a different
00:03:49.400world because you did say you came when you was a teen but you see your friend
00:03:53.180that you're talking about was she born here yeah yeah she's she's English yeah and
00:03:56.540this is why men are going to the east and finding wives I was here yeah actually all
00:04:03.800the dating coaches say to go to yeah it's not it's not to buy a bride it's just like
00:04:18.080they have more feminine traditional women that tend to be in shape and pretty
00:04:21.440apparently I've never been to Poland yeah I mean I grew up going to school and you
00:04:26.660know woman would be walking to school in high heels makeup ready yeah like I've been
00:04:32.400to Germany which it's not Poland but yeah but it's like compared to America
00:04:39.000and even here the girls are like ten times prettier like I was in this I go
00:04:42.540to Russia I went to a wedding I was like oh my god like they would blow
00:04:45.540everyone here out of the water does makeup and heels high heels define
00:04:49.500femininity no no no I'm not naturally there is there is a standard that they
00:04:54.340want to keep up they will always want to represent their men it's not it's not
00:04:57.880it's a sense of vanity the same with our Latin women dressed in a certain way and
00:05:01.720they have a certain standard of beauty and I do understand actually when you look
00:05:06.160to certain extremities of the world you do see femininity in more in like higher
00:05:11.140levels it's good for some people it's not good for some people do you understand
00:05:14.500what I mean because actually when we look at these countries that have this sort
00:05:17.500of thing realistically economically they are suffering in different ways which
00:05:20.740means that we need to look at the society we have issues here but there's also
00:05:23.980a certain way that we work that helps us actually survive there's corruption that's why
00:05:29.440things are kind of messed up still but I say bring shame back
00:05:33.880I find that is interesting because obviously we need shame is such a low vibration it's terrible I think what's going on
00:05:38.320with though in the world nine everybody's acting concerned is that they don't
00:05:42.760understand everybody's suffering mentally this is not about bringing shame this is about
00:05:49.760you know everybody needs to be strong you don't need shame to be strong and you
00:05:54.760you don't need shame to be strong you don't need shame to be strong you don't need shame to be strong and you need to understand what you're
00:06:01.760wait wait wait wait you absolutely do need shame to be strong you do because it's like if your mom yells at you you learn not to do something like okay I'll give you an example I was overweight and then you don't
00:06:08.760you know what made me lose weight the guys at work we're saying like oh I would
00:06:15.760shame to be strong and you need to understand what your problem is wait wait wait you absolutely do
00:06:22.000need shame to be strong you do because it's like if your mom yells at you you learn not to do
00:06:27.200something like okay i'll give you an example i was overweight and then you know what made me lose
00:06:31.280weight the guys at work were saying like oh i would never date a girl over 200 pounds and i
00:06:36.080just hit two like 205 or something and i was like oh no i can't i can't be that girl but it's like
00:06:51.280that the shame helped me but it's like you can either be a weak person and let shame break you
00:06:55.920or you can be a strong person and let it motivate you okay let me give you an alternative that is
00:07:00.080one of them you can shame somebody but you could also say do you know what you could be so much
00:07:04.560more beautiful if you're healthier you know try something like that that's even better than the
00:07:11.040shaming if that works then america wouldn't have a i can't say the word anymore an obesity issue
00:07:21.600people genuinely mean like the body positivity that's huge in america we're huge it's not much
00:07:27.440better here you guys are much less obese nope no that's what i'm saying do you know why we're not
00:07:32.640why people here are more obese actually it's because they're not taught how to be better to
00:07:36.720themselves for example i'm portuguese i know listen my diet listen the diet the the things that people
00:07:43.120are miseducated all the time the food here is disgusting i'm not gonna lie i come from portugal
00:07:47.200i know the difference between the population then the population here it's all because of miseducation
00:07:51.440we are not taught to tell people to have the tools to independently grow that's it that's an
00:07:56.160excuse for real it's an excuse it's not like jamie i'm not here in 2022 there is no excuse you have
00:08:03.760access to the internet yeah i could type in a youtube video and get the world's best nutritionist giving
00:08:08.320me a video on nutrition for free and it's pretty much common sense fruits vegetables common sense is not
00:08:13.920common but at the same time if you've been programmed deep like reprogramming your brain
00:08:19.440to eat a different way it is hard work so as a lazy society we're all lazy that's why we like to
00:08:25.840watch quick gratification is a thing it's easy to press uber eats i come from a country of pork and
00:08:34.960potatoes and yet all the fucking women yeah but genetics genetics go into it though polish food is
00:08:40.000banging 100 percent my mom is one at a time one at a time we're not we're not doing the over talking
00:08:50.880then go ahead go ahead my family everyone in my family is absolutely massive and i mean i look at a
00:08:57.280packet of crisps and i put on like five kilos like my metabolism but i make conscious decisions and i mean
00:09:03.520i reckon if i lived in poland i'd probably be stick thin i probably wouldn't you know be going to the
00:09:08.480gym and trying to grow my legs and so forth i'd be trying to be as skinny as possible but you know i
00:09:14.320chose a partner that's in the gym industry and he teaches me certain things other things i'll google
00:09:20.080myself because he can't teach me about you know woman's nutrition it's it's all about accountability
00:09:25.600and making your own choices and when i said earlier just coming back to my point because i i never finished
00:09:31.280it i think there's a difference between shame and bullying i think it's different when you point
00:09:35.920out to people oh you should be doing this because you're fat you're ugly you're i don't think we need
00:09:41.200that as a society i just think that yourself you should be able to look at yourself and see and be
00:09:48.320realistic and you know i mean in this country people go to freaking asda in slippers and pajamas and then
00:09:53.920get back into their own bed in those clothes i mean i i put even that is it's not right for me like
00:10:00.400do you want to put your best foot forward no matter where you go no i definitely think the
00:10:04.320world needs like bullying and a little bit people being offended because if you ask anyone that's
00:10:10.480actually successful they'll tell you the reason for their successes is their most negative parts of
00:10:14.800their life winning doesn't teach anybody anything when you lose it motivates you to win like now in
00:10:21.600school they're doing like no first second third place in school you know school um sports days you're
00:10:27.680not teaching children to win like the guy who's the fastest doesn't feel special now because the
00:10:33.200guy who's the slowest got the same medal as him you should know that he's the slowest so there's a gap
00:10:38.400like now everything's kind of all blurred lines there's no definitive kind of clear winner and everybody
00:10:44.000wants to be the winner but they don't actually have the ability or the skills to be the winner so
00:10:48.560it's like you need somebody to come and ruffle feathers a little bit in the military that's what they do they
00:10:53.680break you down i was in the military for six years and they literally they break you down they like
00:10:58.800throw your bed mattress out the window your this is to make you the best that you can possibly be
00:11:04.640so i i agree with it on some sides of things but at the same time there's a line i would also like
00:11:11.360to add it always always seems like this aversion to negative um feedback is always kind of it's always
00:11:19.440behind a goal to make people less competitive i've never heard someone say oh we shouldn't be
00:11:25.040negative because it will make you better it's always kind of like to placate at best i've never
00:11:29.920heard anyone you know coaching someone or trying to reach for excellence say actually let's not let's
00:11:34.960not tell you what's bad about yourself because you might stop working hard and i just think that's
00:11:38.400quite interesting that at best you're trying to placate i think that's a really interesting point
00:11:43.040especially in um between females we're always told don't compare yourself don't ever look at
00:11:48.560another woman i mean i personally think like how do you know if you're doing good or not if you're
00:11:52.560not comparing yourself i mean my mom never compared me to other people but it was like
00:11:57.920well you know um you got an a and she got an a star well it's like if you don't compare the
00:12:03.920world will for you yeah the world isn't blind you set standards like you you know and i always say
00:12:09.920like you know when you walk into a room with your friends you know who your prettiest friend is
00:12:13.040like there's a girl i'm thinking of on my team and i was explaining this dirt she was like what
00:12:25.440her as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
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