JustPearlyThings - August 02, 2023


Pearl Calls Out Modern Women On This


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

193.93895

Word count

1,794

Sentence count

177

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the sit down and discuss the controversial topic of whether or not someone should be allowed to date someone with a criminal record. They discuss the pros and cons of allowing a partner to have a criminal past and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 She's going to obviously have to get involved with the children. 1.00
00:00:03.500 I feel like people, like you said, people change, people grow, people reform, people, you know, people change their lives.
00:00:11.520 You know, we're not the same people we were last week, yesterday, probably a minute ago.
00:00:16.000 So we've got to look forward to what's in the future.
00:00:19.420 One time I was dating this guy my dad was not a fan of.
00:00:23.700 And I said to my dad, I said, Dad, you know, do people change?
00:00:27.980 He knew I was talking about him.
00:00:29.400 Right. And my dad looks at me and he goes, yeah, they do change.
00:00:33.060 They get worse over time.
00:00:34.380 So whatever trait you see now, just expect it to get worse in 10 years.
00:00:38.700 That's not true.
00:00:39.300 If you commit a crime when you're a teenager, that doesn't mean you'll commit worse.
00:00:42.800 You know, we can talk about these exceptions, right?
00:00:45.400 You know, but like over time, I think people kind of have a core of who they are.
00:00:52.200 Are you saying like once a cheater, always a cheater kind of thing or once a whatever, always that?
00:00:56.960 I think that if you date someone that's cheated in the past, he's more likely to cheat than someone who has not cheated in the past.
00:01:03.780 So I do think that, yeah, you should look at people's past.
00:01:08.760 But I feel like it doesn't necessarily define somebody 100 percent, though, because a lot of these traumas, a lot of these situations that people have gone through, they've learned to grow from that to become the people they are today.
00:01:22.060 So I kind of disagree.
00:01:23.780 Crime completely depends on your circumstances and your class and what you're born into.
00:01:27.260 Like you could be a good person, but you've been born in a dissonance.
00:01:31.680 I think that people will say, you know, Pearl, you didn't grow up with in that situation.
00:01:37.900 So maybe you shouldn't have an opinion.
00:01:39.260 But I do have an opinion.
00:01:40.340 So I'm going to say it.
00:01:41.220 I think that, you know, my dad grew up pretty poor and he wouldn't do that because he's not the type of guy.
00:01:47.400 I just think you're either that type of person that will do that or you aren't.
00:01:51.180 There's so many factors that contribute.
00:01:52.960 Like your dad might have had a protective factor.
00:01:55.200 I don't know what it might be, but he might have that other people didn't have.
00:01:58.920 Like there's so many dependencies.
00:02:00.920 He may not have seen his mom getting beaten.
00:02:02.780 He may not have suffered domestic abuse.
00:02:04.340 He may have.
00:02:04.900 He might not have had an older mentor.
00:02:06.900 We've come up with a lot of extreme situations today.
00:02:10.540 We've come up with a lot of like every extreme we've come up with.
00:02:14.920 I mean, it depends on what warp of life, you know, you've been around.
00:02:18.340 It's not extreme.
00:02:21.640 It's the norm.
00:02:22.280 I grew up in Trinidad.
00:02:24.680 Trinidad is not the best place when it comes to crime.
00:02:28.700 I grew up like literally around violence and I was around it.
00:02:33.320 Now, I could have made a choice to be in it or stay out of it.
00:02:40.340 And not because I was in it means I was going to become that person.
00:02:43.960 So I just believe that at the end of the day, it's like it all boils down the choice and it's nothing deep.
00:02:50.600 You choose to be in it, you choose to be out of it.
00:02:52.700 Exactly.
00:02:53.940 That's also discrimination in a sense as well.
00:02:56.440 So he's agreeing with me.
00:02:57.800 Thank you.
00:02:58.400 You've made choices.
00:02:59.560 There's also factors like ADHD, which is a risk factor.
00:03:02.720 Like if that means you're more of a risk taker, that means it's hard for you to focus.
00:03:06.380 That means it's hard for you to see the future and be disciplined for it.
00:03:08.300 That's much deeper than what it is.
00:03:09.480 What I'm hearing is excuses.
00:03:11.100 It's not excuses.
00:03:12.040 I mean, what else would it be?
00:03:14.760 I know it is.
00:03:15.520 Okay, imagine I go to court.
00:03:16.900 Imagine I go to court.
00:03:18.100 Okay, Your Honor, I'm sorry I committed this crime.
00:03:20.660 I have ADHD.
00:03:22.060 When you're in Europe divergent, your brain naturally works. 0.57
00:03:25.360 Everybody and themselves want to be better, right?
00:03:28.140 No matter what situation.
00:03:29.180 You want the best outcome of a situation.
00:03:32.640 The only reason you're staying in it is because one, delusional, two, or whatever it is.
00:03:39.980 But because you want to be better, now you have that choice.
00:03:43.140 Either you stay or you don't.
00:03:45.500 That's not even discrimination.
00:03:46.840 That's just, it's up to what you personally want.
00:03:49.920 But imagine you're a child when you do want to court.
00:03:53.020 Exactly.
00:03:53.700 You can't make decisions properly.
00:03:54.840 I think you guys were asking if I would want my sister to date someone with a criminal record. 0.89
00:03:59.820 I think that's how we got into this.
00:04:01.440 I think, no.
00:04:02.140 And I'm going to stand on that.
00:04:03.880 I would say don't date the guy with the criminal record.
00:04:07.140 Don't date the guy with kids.
00:04:08.160 It was about the two kids, weren't it?
00:04:09.120 Yeah, it was the kids.
00:04:09.740 Well, it started with the kids.
00:04:10.460 And then he said that's like judging someone on their criminal record.
00:04:13.100 And I said I would, in fact, judge someone on their criminal record.
00:04:15.880 I would say I would judge people based on their choices that they make.
00:04:20.660 I think that's a fair statement.
00:04:22.840 But some people are born into situations where they're more, they're at an advantage to make better choices.
00:04:29.720 Yeah, but you said ADHD before and trauma.
00:04:32.940 Like, you have it, yes.
00:04:34.760 But that does not mean that you should stay in it.
00:04:38.080 When you're neurodivergent, your brain literally sends you different signals to make different decisions.
00:04:44.320 It's a big factor.
00:04:46.400 A big factor.
00:04:47.460 It doesn't change your goals and dreams of what you want to become.
00:04:49.560 Yeah, but a lot of people get into crime really young.
00:04:53.060 Yeah, it changes the way that you react to certain situations, how you deal with, how you process information.
00:05:00.240 It's a big factor.
00:05:01.620 I really think that's just an excuse.
00:05:03.200 It's not an excuse.
00:05:04.080 It's not an excuse.
00:05:05.420 It's a real thing.
00:05:05.860 I mean, I have ADHD.
00:05:07.640 Yeah, so do I.
00:05:08.480 You know, I committed no crimes.
00:05:13.480 No crimes.
00:05:14.600 No crimes.
00:05:15.200 But we're not, for example, we are not black males born in, well, I didn't have loads of money, but not proper poverty, probably.
00:05:23.620 And not with the same pressure and not with the same.
00:05:27.000 For example, in London, people born in poverty live next to people who have so much money.
00:05:31.680 Social media shows people so much money.
00:05:33.680 Have you ever seen real poverty?
00:05:36.320 Yeah, I have.
00:05:36.960 I do.
00:05:37.300 I've done a lot of volunteering in developing countries.
00:05:39.980 100%.
00:05:40.760 Yeah, so I just think like poverty here isn't really real poverty.
00:05:45.540 Nope.
00:05:45.940 I went to India one time.
00:05:47.540 That's real poverty.
00:05:49.820 Yep.
00:05:50.240 I have never seen more homeless people.
00:05:52.380 Hungry.
00:05:53.180 Yeah.
00:05:53.540 And it was like during this like super hot summer.
00:05:56.460 Like people were dying on the street.
00:05:57.500 It was really sad.
00:05:58.480 It's not nice.
00:05:59.400 It's not just about poverty though.
00:06:00.640 It's about the insecurities and what they've been through.
00:06:03.480 And probably also some of them, obviously we're not saying everyone born into crime is black,
00:06:10.860 but some of them are, and they experience racism as well.
00:06:13.320 They have a lot to prove.
00:06:14.500 Like it's very hard as a teenage boy to feel that you're in poverty.
00:06:20.020 You don't have.
00:06:21.660 Lack of opportunity.
00:06:22.820 Yeah.
00:06:22.980 You don't feel secure and you're trying to prove yourself.
00:06:25.760 And it's very hard as a teenager not to try and be cool.
00:06:28.020 And unfortunately in London now, to be cool and to be worthy and to feel good, you're
00:06:35.240 a bad boy.
00:06:36.040 And girls also, women actually are a problem in this because teenage girls go for that. 1.00
00:06:41.460 And that actually encourages them so much more.
00:06:44.280 So what does it take from a successful man who was in poverty to become successful?
00:06:52.580 I think there must, there's probably different factors.
00:06:55.400 They went through the trauma.
00:06:56.340 They went through this.
00:06:57.020 They went through that.
00:06:57.560 Everybody's different.
00:06:59.320 Some people do have a stronger mindset than others.
00:07:02.880 And that's okay.
00:07:03.660 But it's also possible for anybody.
00:07:05.520 That's just my opinion.
00:07:06.900 There are many possibilities for everybody.
00:07:10.000 Like you can do whatever you put your mind to, but there are some situations where life
00:07:15.560 in general is heavy and they don't have the brain capacity to even think about next week.
00:07:22.160 Why?
00:07:22.380 You think they're too dumb?
00:07:24.480 No, I'm talking about like.
00:07:25.920 You said brain capacity.
00:07:27.180 Yeah.
00:07:27.560 In regards to dealing with everyday life, work stress, family stress, struggle stress,
00:07:36.400 money stress.
00:07:37.200 There's a lot of people who came out of that though.
00:07:39.480 That's what I'm saying.
00:07:40.040 But you don't know what those people have had different.
00:07:42.920 Like what if you're more rebellious because you don't have attachments to your parents where
00:07:47.220 someone else has a better attachment.
00:07:48.300 I know people in the same exact family where one grew up to be a multi-millionaire and one
00:07:52.520 grew up to be an alcoholic.
00:07:53.720 It's choices.
00:07:54.840 Like I'm just not with this, this excuse, that excuse, that excuse.
00:07:58.060 I know people in countries that have real poverty, that have real, like no options.
00:08:03.280 And so it's like, you know how spoiled we sound in the West to say, oh my ADHD, oh this, oh that.
00:08:08.280 Yeah, but you really know what you know as well, right?
00:08:10.560 Yeah, exactly.
00:08:11.240 India, wherever, you know, whichever country you were giving that example, that is what
00:08:16.180 they know.
00:08:17.040 That's true.
00:08:17.120 I grew up with like nannies from around the world. 1.00
00:08:23.620 So like we had a different nanny from like a different country every year.
00:08:26.200 So I've spoken to people from literally, like I grew up with them all over the world.
00:08:29.700 And I'm telling you, like the, we sound so spoiled.
00:08:33.300 I agree with you to expect, because I've also seen, I've also seen poverty like that.
00:08:38.600 But unless we take all of our children and teenagers to developing countries and show them, 0.88
00:08:43.280 they, like you said, they only know, they're only in that bubble.
00:08:45.820 And also, if you're fortunate to have a nanny, there's certain lifestyles that you can't
00:08:51.300 even comprehend, because there are certain people that can't even afford to eat.
00:08:56.360 So, yeah.
00:08:56.940 I can comprehend, this is the whole, oh you're rich, you know, therefore choices, it still
00:09:02.600 goes back to, you can still be born into anything and your choices, it still matters.
00:09:07.440 It's who you are.
00:09:08.200 Absolutely.
00:09:09.060 So I don't really know like what we're arguing here.
00:09:11.660 Like you should be given a pass, because you grew up in a bad situation.