JustPearlyThings - Pearl DEBUNKS Abusive Relationships

00:00:00.000 to be involved in their kids lives like men they i've had guys cry about trying like i want to be

00:00:06.600 involved in my kids like all i want to do is see my son and yet they act like these men are just

00:00:13.140 running around deadbeat dads getting everyone pregnant it's just not true yeah i don't buy into

00:00:18.260 it what i don't buy into it at all dads all the dads i know are extremely about their kids lives

00:00:24.560 want to be involved in every way shape or form i don't know how this is happening but what percent

00:00:31.060 how many judges did you have on your case just one or did they switch they do switch routinely but

00:00:38.560 for the most part it's been one the whole time i guess in the very very beginning it was a judge

00:00:43.100 and then it switched and then now i believe it's switching again for the first time but mostly it

00:00:46.800 was the same judge for this were they men or women it's been women yeah but i think the new judges

00:00:54.300 is a guy the guy it's really interesting and there's the appeal court too and that's a separate

00:00:57.880 thing the what i'm doing an appeal right now of the decision um from the family court appeal court's

00:01:04.080 like higher than them and you appeal and i don't know who the judge will be on that so how does it

00:01:09.120 work so they made a decision and then you appeal it and it goes to a higher court yeah you basically

00:01:14.560 get their reasoning for why they made the decisions they did because they do these findings of fact and

00:01:20.060 they have like numbers and they put all these different things that they found and then at the end

00:01:24.060 they put an order of custody and different things um and you just specifically challenge which things

00:01:29.520 and give you a reasoning and evidence as to why you don't believe they made a proper finding

00:01:33.900 what's your experience been like in the court like with the judges do they typically do you think

00:01:40.560 they're biased do you think they're left or no i would say i think in san francisco it'd be more

00:01:47.280 likely that people um would tend to be left-wing politically but judges are supposed to leave their

00:01:52.640 politics at the door you know just isn't supposed to be blind um that's at least the ideal and i'd

00:01:58.620 hope that that's how it would be yeah i think a lot of them are like feminists to be honest a lot 1.00

00:02:04.200 of like i found that it's female judges a lot that are like kind of indoctrinated in the same 1.00

00:02:08.680 feminist that in the uk i don't know much about the u.s court system i'm like new to but in the uk um 0.94

00:02:15.340 like a lot of them they attend these liberal universities and they come into um they come

00:02:22.640 into the court system where gosh i can't remember what it's called but their way they're trained

00:02:29.740 is i cannot remember the name but it's under like a feminist program okay so a lot of them it's and 1.00

00:02:37.960 it's the same way they see abuse it's through like a feminist lens where they always look at 1.00

00:02:45.060 the stronger person as the abuser okay and that's how they're literally like trained the duluth model

00:02:51.800 that's what it's called the duluth model is what they use to train all police officers and all judges

00:02:56.720 and people really yes yeah you should look into it it's a it's a rabbit hole that's really scary

00:03:01.360 sounding yeah and it was like it was implemented in i think the 70s or something do you think that guys

00:03:07.880 are are more likely the abuser or that's just a narrative and like no i think women are more

00:03:12.420 likely to abuse uh i mean it depends like what what is your bar for abuse we'll say real abuse

00:03:17.400 yeah right but i mean i think women are more likely because i think like you see it all the time girls 1.00

00:03:25.160 will like hit a dude right and and semi-seriously right and okay maybe it doesn't hurt him or whatever 0.99

00:03:32.780 but like if we're gonna make the bar hitting women definitely do that shit more like they definitely 1.00

00:03:37.820 do and i think men are kind of embarrassed like no guy wants to go to the police right and say i'm 0.99

00:03:43.480 getting beat up by my chick that's embarrassing for sure so i really think when it comes to one

00:03:48.800 well i won i think most abusive relationships real ones they're doing it to each other i think they're 0.82

00:03:54.400 both probably crazy they're both probably toxic and there's studies that that say this when it comes

00:03:58.680 to one-sided abuse that women hit men more than men hit women but most abusive relationships are both 0.85

00:04:04.180 that's really interesting yeah i mean from my studies i've i've seen more that women are more 1.00

00:04:09.260 common to be the ones actually abusing physically wow what study are you talking about i don't recall

00:04:14.880 off the top of my head i have so many different numbers in my brain for all this custody stuff i

00:04:18.840 study at once but i saw that what are the most like damning numbers you've found from like your

00:04:24.320 custody research i mean probably the ones we talked about earlier just regarding like single

00:04:29.380 motherhood and then 90 of homelessness and like 70 something percent of prison inmates and all that 0.76

00:04:34.940 i think that's the biggest yeah well and i've spoken to freaking um homeless like guys that run

00:04:42.320 homeless shelters and that's what they'll tell me like the majority of the homeless are from these 0.73

00:04:47.260 like multi like these baby mamas basically that had like three or four different baby daddies and 1.00

00:04:54.620 like none of them in their lives and then they got taken and like put into foster care it's a real

00:04:58.460 problem yeah it's it's tragic i i think we have a serious homeless problem it's scary yeah and it's

00:05:04.380 like okay you don't think that maybe in those situations the men should have custody when she's

00:05:08.880 got four different baby father i'm like are you crazy yeah that seems like a good time to think that

00:05:13.780 the dad should have custody for sure four different dads like if it was reversed yeah i don't think 0.80

00:05:18.680 the court would think you're a very good person if you had impregnated four different women i think

00:05:24.680 the court would by default consider you a bad person but when it's the other way they're just

00:05:28.560 like oh let's you know yeah no it's a double standard it's such a double standard it's like

00:05:34.360 women can do no wrong in this society right and no matter what they're the better parent when it's 1.00

00:05:40.160 like what evidence do we have that that's true there's no evidence yeah there's there's not i mean

00:05:46.120 thankfully we have the evidence that we have now to show and hopefully we can make some changes and

00:05:50.500 have dads continue to fight because society is not working having all these problems

00:05:56.120 i'm single and single motherhood homes and divorce it's we definitely have to do something to change

00:06:02.080 it yeah have you looked at all into because that's like my next thing i want to look into like what

00:06:08.100 would need to happen to change the laws have you looked into that at all like specifically like you

00:06:12.500 have like how to like get a bill in and i'm not exactly sure but that's an interesting thought

00:06:17.240 because i think it should be 50 50 across the board and then when do you think it should

00:06:22.020 go to one parent or to the dad or well actually false accusations abuse well you know honestly

00:06:30.520 if we're gonna go the way i feel i actually think that whoever leaves should the other should get cut

00:06:38.660 like even if they're not married or specifically i don't know i haven't thought this through i i honestly

00:06:45.700 i think that dads should i'm a little sexist i think dads should get primary custody just because

00:06:50.700 the numbers say they do better and i think you know if we're gonna go for the equality thing maybe

00:06:56.740 50 50 but i i don't know i just i think we need to stop incentivizing women to break up families 1.00

00:07:04.580 i think that's the biggest thing i think alimony should be gone i think child support should be gone

00:07:09.260 i think all of these rewards for women making bad decisions just need to go immediately and i would

00:07:15.940 even go as far to say that maybe there should be a consequence for her breaking up the home 0.79

00:07:20.040 i could i could see that helping for sure because it's it's definitely incentivized and you can look at

00:07:26.340 when it started happening i think around like the 60s right we put a welfare state and what's happened

00:07:32.760 since then is divorce single parent homes kids decline gender ideology all these things

00:07:40.100 so i'd be curious to see that happen too are you on um child support at all i'm not on okay there's

00:07:47.100 no child support orders right now okay 50 50 okay i was wondering some people have 50 50 though and

00:07:52.500 one parent still pays child really that's that's what i was wondering if if it's 50 50 is that

00:07:57.520 automatically no child support yes it's not automatic that might be like what they tend to

00:08:02.420 go towards but basically it's just on income regardless of the custody

00:08:06.280 wow it's actually crazy to me that it took you a year and a half to see your son and there was no

00:08:14.240 consequence yeah 15 months i mean like the most horrific 15 months of your life it's like a part of

00:08:19.360 you isn't there you know for no good reason and you want nothing more than to find that other part of

00:08:25.760 you and you know hold him see him be with him and you didn't get to do that for 15 months

00:08:29.980 and that's just not yeah no repercussion that's so sad

JustPearlyThings - July 04, 2023

Pearl DEBUNKS Abusive Relationships

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