JustPearlyThings - July 19, 2023


Pearl DESTORYS Femininity Coaches


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

187.20885

Word count

1,929

Sentence count

254

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

26

sentences flagged

Hate speech

20

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss what men are looking for in a woman and what they don't want. We also discuss the things we should stop saying to men and how to stop saying them to men. We discuss toxic masculinity and toxic men.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 A couple months ago, I made a list of the things that us as women should stop doing.
00:00:05.240 Now, this is not to say that I am perfect and have never said anything on this list.
00:00:11.100 However, I just felt like this was a very, very good list.
00:00:16.260 So this is the things that men look for, basically, or don't want.
00:00:20.940 It's like want, don't want, kind of a combination.
00:00:23.580 No tattoos.
00:00:25.100 Your hobbies cannot be going to the bar every weekend and going out all the time looking like a hoe. 1.00
00:00:29.380 No heavy makeup, eyelash extensions.
00:00:31.740 No super heavy eyeliner.
00:00:33.440 No shopping addiction.
00:00:34.880 No piercing except ears.
00:00:36.340 Be able to get ready in 30 minutes or less.
00:00:39.100 No super long fingernails. 1.00
00:00:40.480 Do not be an idiot. 1.00
00:00:41.840 Do not be a beautiful, majestic creature. 1.00
00:00:44.440 A girl, she has to have a fitness routine. 1.00
00:00:47.380 Good with kid.
00:00:48.020 Knows how to cook.
00:00:48.940 Coachable.
00:00:49.500 Teachable.
00:00:50.020 Feminine. 0.91
00:00:50.860 Do not be a feminist. 1.00
00:00:52.120 Men want women that work hard but not too hard and at the right things. 0.70
00:00:55.860 They do not want a girl that wants a career more than a family. 1.00
00:00:59.420 This is my favorite one.
00:01:00.820 The words we're going to stop saying.
00:01:04.600 Partner.
00:01:05.300 Horoscope signs.
00:01:06.360 Looking for a connection.
00:01:07.520 Energy.
00:01:08.000 Trauma.
00:01:08.560 Toxic masculinity.
00:01:10.340 My truth.
00:01:11.560 Healing.
00:01:12.000 My narcissistic ex-boyfriend. 0.77
00:01:13.620 My abusive ex-boyfriend. 0.96
00:01:15.380 Grape accusations.
00:01:16.880 Don't judge.
00:01:17.640 Yeah, but.
00:01:18.680 Manifesting.
00:01:19.300 Equals, I want to do no work and still get the outcome I want. 0.97
00:01:22.680 As a woman.
00:01:23.540 We know you're a woman.
00:01:24.460 I did too much and I let him walk all over me. 0.97
00:01:28.220 Equals, I like cheaters and toxic men and I will choose them and be toxic as well and 1.00
00:01:32.460 not admit my part that I had any part to play except quote unquote giving too much. 0.61
00:01:37.720 Generational trauma. 0.99
00:01:38.680 I make the same mistakes that my parents make and I'm too dumb to learn from their mistakes 0.99
00:01:42.780 and instead I will make the same mistakes but blame it on them. 0.98
00:01:46.140 I'm in my feminine energy.
00:01:48.660 Men always stare and approach me.
00:01:50.540 I will be submissive for the right man. 1.00
00:01:54.000 Men are trash. 0.99
00:01:54.880 Equals, I take no accountability for the negative part that myself or any women play in relationships. 1.00
00:02:00.540 He needs to make six figures.
00:02:02.120 Equals, I have no emphasis on character.
00:02:04.760 I don't need a man but I want a man.
00:02:06.640 My ring costs this much.
00:02:08.420 Financial abuse.
00:02:09.400 I became feminine.
00:02:10.860 I need a man to maintain you. 0.99
00:02:13.800 We need to vibe.
00:02:14.820 I feel like I'm a traditional when I am single.
00:02:18.140 Manish.
00:02:18.620 I will be submissive for the right man who hurt you.
00:02:21.600 Internalize misogyny.
00:02:23.020 I'm leveling up altogether.
00:02:25.020 I need a man to be on my level.
00:02:28.100 I'm a boss babe. 1.00
00:02:29.100 I'm a bad bitch. 1.00
00:02:30.260 These men are broke and dusties. 1.00
00:02:32.300 I am the table.
00:02:33.620 I am a 10.
00:02:34.980 He needs to add to what I have going on in my life.
00:02:38.060 Not all women equals that is a problem with women but I won't admit it's a problem. 0.98
00:02:42.340 I need someone to match my energy.
00:02:48.320 I still don't really know what that means.
00:02:50.880 I am his peace.
00:02:52.520 Broken men.
00:02:54.060 Men are F boys. 0.66
00:02:55.600 My body my choice. 0.84
00:02:56.940 He hit me harder than I hit him.
00:02:59.240 Body positivity manifest.
00:03:02.000 I am not fat.
00:03:03.160 I am plus size or thick.
00:03:05.300 Small D energy.
00:03:06.480 My ex was a narcissist. 0.88
00:03:07.680 I am a queen who hurt you. 0.98
00:03:09.860 No respect for my own mother.
00:03:11.920 Yeah.
00:03:12.340 I mean how is that?
00:03:13.620 Those are all the words that you can't say.
00:03:15.200 Yeah.
00:03:15.520 What can we say then?
00:03:16.860 I have a list.
00:03:20.100 Don't worry.
00:03:21.400 I am so here to help.
00:03:24.660 All right.
00:03:25.340 And this is collaborative.
00:03:27.220 So if you guys have anything you want to add to it, you know, feel free.
00:03:31.080 Phrases to add.
00:03:31.900 I trust you.
00:03:32.600 I support you.
00:03:33.560 Whatever you say, honey.
00:03:35.020 Thank you.
00:03:35.520 I have your back.
00:03:36.340 I'm making this for dinner tonight.
00:03:37.980 I believe or I think.
00:03:39.620 What can I do for you?
00:03:40.960 How can I help?
00:03:41.680 I'm proud of you.
00:03:42.320 I believe in you.
00:03:43.040 I couldn't do this without you.
00:03:44.220 I need you.
00:03:44.780 I love you.
00:03:45.340 I miss you.
00:03:45.840 I care about you.
00:03:46.480 I want you.
00:03:47.320 I admire you.
00:03:48.940 Oh, gosh.
00:03:49.400 I always forget this one.
00:03:50.460 I'm not reading that.
00:03:51.640 You inspire.
00:03:52.120 No, no.
00:03:52.620 Don't do that.
00:03:53.220 Don't do that, pal, man.
00:03:54.180 Read that.
00:03:54.880 I do this every time.
00:03:56.000 I hate reading this one.
00:03:57.240 Get in the bedroom and drop your pants before you go to work.
00:04:00.140 Yeah, man.
00:04:00.640 You inspire me.
00:04:02.420 I get so red.
00:04:03.640 Thank you for working so hard.
00:04:06.000 Babe, I know you didn't meet it.
00:04:07.140 I'll let it go.
00:04:07.660 It's not a big deal.
00:04:08.860 I love that.
00:04:09.420 I love that.
00:04:10.020 I actually love that.
00:04:10.580 At least there was shorter than that.
00:04:11.900 I like that.
00:04:12.520 I like that.
00:04:13.020 Well, you know, we can add more if you have things you want to add.
00:04:16.420 It's really collaborative.
00:04:17.720 I've worked with a lot of people on this.
00:04:19.420 Okay, cool.
00:04:20.040 I think that whatever you say, honey, that's the only thing.
00:04:24.300 That depends on the context.
00:04:26.420 Exactly.
00:04:26.800 And I was thinking that as well, yeah.
00:04:27.800 It can be a little bit like, oh, you know, like, oh, I have to do it again.
00:04:32.480 I just, you know, it depends on the context.
00:04:36.020 See, this is where the good women are gone. 1.00
00:04:37.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:38.140 You don't want to do that.
00:04:38.740 If you're with the right woman, that won't happen. 0.99
00:04:41.180 If you're with the right woman, if you're with the right man, that won't happen. 1.00
00:04:44.660 It depends on the context.
00:04:46.260 She's right.
00:04:46.940 It does.
00:04:47.400 Okay, I have to be honest.
00:04:49.680 I think women that say this, because I hear this a lot, it typically means I am disagreeable
00:04:55.640 and I don't want to listen.
00:04:57.040 Okay.
00:04:57.820 Typically.
00:04:58.720 Or the men I pick aren't worthy, or like something, like I like bums, basically, is the other, 0.90
00:05:04.720 like, it's like a trend.
00:05:05.740 Well, some women pick men who are, I think, for their character, too masculine.
00:05:12.200 I don't want to say that, because then you're going to be like feminine, masculine.
00:05:14.800 No, like, too, you know, like, she's not feminine enough. 1.00
00:05:18.720 The man is really masculine.
00:05:21.020 So she's in her feminine most of the time, but sometimes she's like, oh. 1.00
00:05:25.640 See, I see the language, in her feminine. 0.97
00:05:28.220 Yeah, I knew you were going to pick that up, girl. 0.77
00:05:30.940 I just think it's, like, nonsense.
00:05:34.040 I know.
00:05:34.220 It's just, it's like these women that go on Instagram, and they'll say, oh, I'm a feminine. 0.94
00:05:39.400 I don't know if it's you.
00:05:40.360 I hope that's not what you do.
00:05:41.960 But, like, it's like, I'm now a femininity coach.
00:05:45.380 And there's some genuine ones.
00:05:47.000 I'm not going to say there's not.
00:05:48.300 There are genuine ones that help.
00:05:49.480 I do this, too.
00:05:50.560 Masculine, feminine energy. 0.85
00:05:52.340 There's some.
00:05:53.000 There's, yeah. 1.00
00:05:53.740 The ones that I see that are full of shit. 1.00
00:05:55.620 Because men actually look to solve problems. 1.00
00:05:57.540 So if you look at, like, men's improvement, it's very practical.
00:06:01.240 So it's very much, like, go to the gym.
00:06:03.980 Screw a bunch of girls so you know how to. 1.00
00:06:06.320 Or do, you know. 0.98
00:06:06.940 I said that.
00:06:07.440 There's an ex-corn star that's been on my show.
00:06:09.900 He has very practical, you know, tips.
00:06:12.200 Not my thing, right?
00:06:13.520 But, like, or they'll do, like, go to the gym, make more money.
00:06:18.360 Women, it's very, like, broad. 1.00
00:06:20.600 Like, soft life.
00:06:23.240 I'm going to sit at home.
00:06:25.460 And it's never, like, concrete steps.
00:06:27.840 I've only had one, like, femininity coach give me, like, real concrete steps that isn't just, like, journaling or. 0.99
00:06:33.720 Actually, I have something to say about feminine coaches. 1.00
00:06:40.580 They operate from, again, energy.
00:06:45.540 But, like, what is to be feminine?
00:06:47.100 They tell you be creative.
00:06:48.920 Like, focus on things that make you tap into that traditional woman. 1.00
00:06:53.580 That's what they are all about.
00:06:55.740 Like, try to, I've been in touch with some of them.
00:06:59.320 And they tell you, like, listen to music, dance, or create something with, like, a painting or something tangible with, like, artistic.
00:07:09.660 Yeah.
00:07:10.240 And to me, this sounds like nothing useful to a guy.
00:07:14.320 Go listen to, like, go listen to some music.
00:07:18.620 Like, I'm just saying, yeah, there's only been one femininity coach that, like, actually talked about real stuff.
00:07:27.220 And she helped me write most of these, like, words to add.
00:07:29.860 In the short term, it might seem that it's not helping.
00:07:33.060 But imagine on the long term, rather than a woman being in her, as I say, masculine energy, which is, like, shouting and confronting. 0.90
00:07:41.280 She learns to be submissive, but, like, step by step.
00:07:44.800 First of all, by tapping into these skills, then to be comfortable just doing even something such as cooking.
00:07:52.920 They tell you cooking makes you tap into your feminine energy more and more. 1.00
00:07:56.720 So maybe by building those little habits.
00:08:00.360 I think cooking, yeah, I don't think cooking's bad, but I just, you can't convince me.
00:08:08.060 Do you know why we need these now?
00:08:09.920 I agree with you.
00:08:11.240 I agree that it shouldn't matter, but we need these now because a lot of women and men as well forgot that natural state.
00:08:20.180 You know, what's your natural state as a woman? 1.00
00:08:22.040 I don't know because I get really confused because I hear these, like, women talk about soft life, right? 1.00
00:08:27.460 But, like, our great-grandmothers really didn't have a soft life. 0.99
00:08:31.720 They were milking, like, at least I'm from the U.S., they were milking cows.
00:08:34.840 Like, have you seen Amish people?
00:08:36.220 That's where they used to live.
00:08:37.440 Like, they do not have a soft life.
00:08:39.380 And soft life to me is living off a man. 0.84
00:08:41.880 That's what I see as a soft life.
00:08:44.520 Maybe.
00:08:45.080 Yeah.
00:08:45.480 When you ask where all the women, good women, went, I mean, to me, they went to confusion and independence. 1.00
00:08:50.280 Right.
00:08:50.800 And this confusion is a diffused awareness because of the primal nature, right?
00:08:55.640 A man is hunting.
00:08:56.800 He's directive in his focus.
00:08:59.820 And a woman is diffused because she only has a certain amount of daylight hours to get as many berries as she can. 1.00
00:09:04.340 And she's very skilled at it. 0.99
00:09:05.620 She can do it way quicker than a man, apparently. 1.00
00:09:07.620 And it's part of our survival mechanism.
00:09:10.300 And so it is kind of obtuse and broad when we think about how we go back into our feminine nature.
00:09:15.800 So we're not, you know, in this CEO role of our families, of our relationships, of our businesses.
00:09:23.740 And then we got to come home and then deal with the reality of, like, you know, being a partner, which is a totally different energy.
00:09:30.240 It's not, you're not directive.
00:09:32.000 Like, yeah, you've got to get the meal on the table.
00:09:34.520 And my grandmother and my mother, they worked really hard as homemakers.
00:09:37.860 It was, like, taboo for them to work.
00:09:39.900 But my generation and our generation now, it's a lot of confusion.
00:09:45.420 And we're still growing into that.
00:09:47.640 How do we balance that?
00:09:49.300 It's Beyonce's fault.
00:09:51.780 I'm being serious.
00:09:52.720 She made a tune called Single Ladies, all of these things with a ring on her finger. 1.00
00:09:56.840 I think we're very capable.
00:09:58.380 You know what I'm saying?
00:09:59.080 But I think there's a lot of confusion.
00:10:00.480 To be honest, you'll say you're right.
00:10:02.680 From the 90s, 2000s, whatever, there's been a lot of independence, independence, do your thing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:09.060 Cool.
00:10:09.900 You can do your independence.
00:10:11.120 But if you don't need a man, then cool.
00:10:13.740 Someone said modern-day gathering has turned into shopping.