Pearl Drops This Hard Truth About Women
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
215.75085
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the cost of having a kid, the benefits of not having kids, and what it means to be a good parent. We also talk about the importance of a good relationship with your partner, and how to balance work and family life.
Transcript
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oh sorry don't you feel like there has to be like some sort of stability within you and your partner
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so for a second i take it on myself as a man that it is my job to bring stability
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and every and all the stoic literature and all the biblical literature says
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that it is up to a man to build institutions yes you do need stability and who's responsible for
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that so i aim for the bar the high bar as a man that i can be productive and bring stability
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so that i give a woman a safe place to have children yeah so multiple things can be true
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one thing we've talked a lot about here it's the cost of raising children you know and i think two
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things can be true simultaneously one thing that is just true across countries is the less money you
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have typically the more kids you have um and this only really reverses when the family's income is
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over half a million a year then it starts to go up again but you know that's that's a lot of money
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um but it's also true that you have to make enormous sacrifices and it is enormously costly
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to have a kid in our society and i actually think that half a million mark that's the market which
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people don't really have to make sacrifices anymore to have kids so when you're dealing with below that
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level i think a question that we need to ask ourselves when people say having kids is expensive
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what they mean is having kids is expensive without significantly changing my lifestyle my wife and
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i we could be earning a lot more money than we do but we live in like a farm you know um and and that
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is because it was cheaper to raise kids out there um and so the cultural groups that do have high
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fertility you know often there's these religious people call them religious extremists weirdos or
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whatever right like they're weird and that they are different from the urban monoculture and that
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they are different from the dominant cultures in our society and that's how we judge weirdness um
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and uh uh they they one of the things that makes them weird is choosing lifestyles uh that are
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significantly below the lifestyle they could live based on what they earn because they believe there
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are things more important than than showing off how great they are to the world it's like a more
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selfless culture is what you're saying can i um right absolutely who said something can i bring
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up something that you said earlier on obviously about obviously when you're bringing in kids you
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want to obviously give them the best and stuff what about the people who obviously do have kids and
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they can't give them the best that was a choice yeah i do and yeah obviously it is a choice they
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can't give them the best these kids are suffering but what is the best because you know we have all
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this money in the west and we really have a higher standard of living than like any time in human
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history but people are more depressed than ever and even like there's a clip that just went viral of
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kim kardashian um her her daughter north right and north is talking about how she prefers to be at
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kanye's house because at kanye's house there's no chef there's no she's like i don't like the chef i
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want to get there's no security there i just want to go to dad's house yeah so it's like you know
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these kids can have everything but if they don't have what matters can i say something yeah i grew
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up in jamaica in like the countryside so it was very poor i saw knife crime violence sex just my
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parents used to sell drugs so i could eat all this type of stuff my dad was a fisherman like we was poor
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we didn't have much we lived in little board houses all of that and i had the best upbringing ever my
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parents are rastafarians they used to take me to the hot springs the healing waters they're taking me
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to all like the rastafarian events i was living my best life all i remembered from my childhood
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was getting fish like basically cooking with my dad on the coal stove outside up we're going to the
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hot springs them dancing together that's all i remember was the time spent so i just feel like
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the western world we just have so much stimuli being thrown at us that we just we're confused about
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every single aspect of our lives from down to our gender when we're meant to have kids
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our bodies where this makes things so complicated when you return to a simpler life if you unlearn to
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learn return to a more simpler form of living you realize that there's so much joy in just actually
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having love and you and you you and your parents both around right now yeah no like growing up right
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yeah so who's who's richer like you who might have grown up and you you said it was poor he's really
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poor but but your parents were around or you know kim's kids where they see their dad twice a month
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and they don't really see their mom either because there's a nanny watching them yeah i didn't have
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that i had both devoted yeah but i'm saying like who who's in a better off position really um i think
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they're just both equal i just didn't see any difference what you mean better off position
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i'm saying i'm saying i'm saying i'm saying i would argue that the kid with both of their parents
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involved is in a better position i agree than the one that has money i agree and so much time and
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especially like in the rest yeah yeah especially in the west there's so many times where they we equate
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money can replace parents and it can't it's neglect you feel neglected and abandoned when you don't
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have them but you have the material like kids are no offense like if you notice like if you give kids
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money and stuff like that they don't seem as grateful compared to when you know their brass
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if you want to see messed up kids look at the kids of rich people like yeah yeah and if you want to
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see the thing that that you can always give your kids is yourself yeah and and and there are always
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going to be competing interests from that because society you know this is i love capitalism but the
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one bad thing about capitalism is it can price an individual exactly exactly the minimum amount it needs
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to pay them to not spend time on their kids on their family and so remember you know uh yeah just just
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be aware that this system it's going to try to take you away from your family and and you are the most
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important thing they have and these traditions i love you talk about growing up rastafarian and
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these traditions that they had were so important to you and the traditions that you build for your
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kids you know i think a lot of us we come from backgrounds now where we feel we don't have a
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connection to our ancestors anymore or our traditions and and that can mean work with your spouse and and
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build new ones you know if you have to because this matters to kids it matters to them yeah it
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matters to their kids so it goes back to our culture though because when you when i speak to again going back to
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speaking to women right when i speak to women and i ask them like okay so if a guy tells you he's
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got two three four kids what do you say usually they say well i'm not interested even if he's got
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one yeah and then and then he tells me that there's there's a problem with our culture
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you know we look down on that and and i personally don't if i'm speaking to a girl she
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says look i've got two kids i think that's a beautiful thing yeah but that's because you've got
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kids though i've never had kids i don't have kids i've never had kids you got a person i thought
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you said you had two sons it's me i got it it's not the kid it's all the other stuff
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i think it's beautiful i've never had kids though welcome to the show what's your name hi hi what do
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you think do do women owe society children oh that's a strong question if i look around the room that's a
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strong question do women owe society kids in my opinion women are very different okay so in
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different situations you're going to come across different i guess mentalities so for me depends
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on the person you're not really owe anyone anything in my opinion that's my opinion you don't you know
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do men owe it to society to be productive no no no they choose to not be have you seen the consequences
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of unproductive men and what they have on society like if we choose not to be productive what is the
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consequences well the consequences we ruin society it's like you know chris rock has that joke if
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you're outside at 1 p.m in a neighborhood and moms are walking strollers you're a nice neighborhood if
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you're outside a neighborhood 1 p.m and dudes are working out you you in danger so you would say yeah
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that every man that is not being productive at this present moment or never has a child they are just
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no i'm not not the child thing is a little like that's that's a few steps ahead i'd say that a man who's not
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being uh productive or not taking steps towards being productive he's not building society and it
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is a man's job to build like a man always has to be building something otherwise a man becomes a
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danger to himself and society and we see that you know represented in the preponderance of you know
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criminals for example and you see in countries that have high unemployment rates you see a lot of very
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negative correlations with that um but the question you know the reason that i postulated that earlier
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is because like for a woman to be able um to reach her potential to have kids she needs a man who's
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reaching his potential and a man has to lead and that's why a man and i and i also think there's
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a reason why we look down on the homeless like bum crackheads down the street like that that aren't
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doing anything they're not paying anything like they're not contributing to society there's a reason
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why they're considered losers in society i don't look at them as losers okay i'm not saying you personally
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but i'm saying as a society do they tend do the do we tend to put crackheads on a pedestal no no
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do we do we tend to say grow up grow up but i mean i think if you're not doing anything it's not
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even just um homeless people it's guys who drive buses or bin men we we don't put them on pedestals
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either we actually look down on men unfortunately i don't like i think if you have a job that contributes
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to society i think that's fine but i do think you owe your society to be a productive member of society
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and if women aren't gonna go down the kids route like i i think they owe the same exact thing yeah
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i agree with that yeah i absolutely agree with that