JustPearlyThings - October 22, 2023


Pearl Drops This Harsh Reality


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

191.72743

Word count

1,902

Sentence count

160

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

22

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss why women gain weight after getting married and how to deal with it. We also talk about why men and women should be encouraged to lose weight post-marriage and what to do about it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So I'm a big fan of love.
00:00:02.120 I'm a big fan of like being in love
00:00:04.080 and being in a relationship,
00:00:05.080 having a good woman in your life.
00:00:06.880 And for me, I just,
00:00:09.520 maybe this is selfish,
00:00:10.580 but I'd be like, 0.99
00:00:11.060 you need to fucking stay skinny 1.00
00:00:12.400 so you don't die 1.00
00:00:13.160 because I don't want to do this again.
00:00:14.960 I don't want to fall in love 0.99
00:00:15.920 and lose you and all that shit. 0.97
00:00:17.920 So anytime I'm in a relationship 0.99
00:00:19.380 with a girl,
00:00:20.460 whether she works out or not,
00:00:21.860 she's going to start working out 0.99
00:00:23.100 when she's dating me.
00:00:24.340 So I would just hate to see that
00:00:25.620 as a person dating someone
00:00:27.160 who is gaining weight
00:00:29.020 and then I have to be like
00:00:30.920 looking and dealing with
00:00:32.240 the health issues that come with that.
00:00:34.120 Yeah, so women are more likely 1.00
00:00:35.860 than men to gain weight after marriage.
00:00:39.120 So do you guys think it's fair
00:00:41.580 to gain weight after getting married?
00:00:45.400 Why not?
00:00:46.080 I don't think it's fair.
00:00:47.340 I don't think so either.
00:00:48.080 You don't think it's fair?
00:00:48.820 Drop it on them, Pam. 0.81
00:00:49.760 Drop it on them, Pam. 0.81
00:00:50.900 That person met you a certain way
00:00:54.860 and obviously that's what they went for
00:00:58.480 and that's what they desired
00:00:59.500 so that's what they will continue to desire
00:01:01.940 and although they would probably
00:01:03.700 still love you,
00:01:04.820 they definitely wouldn't find you
00:01:06.440 still as attractive.
00:01:07.780 That's just how it would be.
00:01:09.860 Yeah, I think that's just like a lot of,
00:01:11.600 I think that's like really common sense
00:01:13.640 that's really not present
00:01:14.700 in today's generation
00:01:15.780 because it's just like,
00:01:17.660 it's unfair.
00:01:19.380 It's so selfish to just like,
00:01:21.400 that's like a guy getting a relationship
00:01:22.860 with a girl and be like,
00:01:23.640 oh, you know what?
00:01:24.200 I'm going to quit my job
00:01:26.120 and I want you to take care of me.
00:01:27.580 That's my next question.
00:01:29.120 But guys,
00:01:29.780 you guys encourage your partners.
00:01:32.200 Just encourage them with food,
00:01:34.240 encourage them exercise.
00:01:35.900 Why do we,
00:01:36.660 for example,
00:01:37.640 yeah,
00:01:38.200 but he probably was encouraging her
00:01:39.820 but she literally gained 120 pounds. 1.00
00:01:43.320 That's a whole other human.
00:01:44.140 But they did it together.
00:01:45.400 It feels,
00:01:45.900 it seems like it was their couple goal.
00:01:47.840 It was like goals,
00:01:48.480 you know,
00:01:48.640 couple.
00:01:48.780 No,
00:01:49.180 no,
00:01:49.620 no,
00:01:50.620 they didn't.
00:01:51.500 She got bigger 0.99
00:01:52.480 and he didn't get that much bigger.
00:01:53.900 Yeah,
00:01:54.060 let's play it again.
00:01:55.800 Anyway,
00:01:56.520 you guys don't know
00:01:57.580 the world of chop chases as well.
00:01:59.620 I am big
00:02:00.460 so I can tell you
00:02:01.040 the world of chop chases as well.
00:02:02.200 But we're talking about the video.
00:02:03.680 Like,
00:02:03.840 he wasn't getting...
00:02:04.660 He probably likes big women. 1.00
00:02:06.880 No,
00:02:07.460 come on.
00:02:07.800 He wouldn't have married.
00:02:08.520 Then he would have married.
00:02:09.900 Wait,
00:02:10.380 wait,
00:02:10.660 he would have married a big woman 1.00
00:02:12.420 if you wanted a big woman.
00:02:14.620 So I think it's one thing
00:02:15.900 if you marry,
00:02:16.700 wait, 0.83
00:02:16.900 if you marry a chick 0.97
00:02:18.140 and she's like over,
00:02:19.460 I don't know what 200 pounds is here.
00:02:21.500 Okay,
00:02:21.920 that's one thing.
00:02:23.280 But it's like if you sign up for one thing
00:02:25.340 and then she bamboozles you later, 0.99
00:02:27.260 you think that's fair?
00:02:28.320 Just like if I marry a guy thinking
00:02:30.280 he's going to pay all the bills
00:02:31.720 and I'm going to get to be a stay-at-home wife
00:02:33.420 and that's what I thought.
00:02:34.800 And then one day he's like,
00:02:36.020 you know what?
00:02:38.020 Yeah,
00:02:38.320 I just don't feel like working anymore.
00:02:41.220 Or I don't feel like being faithful anymore. 1.00
00:02:44.100 I'm just going to go fuck every girl 1.00
00:02:46.980 I could find now. 1.00
00:02:48.660 Or on her side too,
00:02:50.080 it would just not be cool.
00:02:51.060 I just think that you need to be,
00:02:53.680 because I think it's common sense
00:02:55.700 when you get in a relationship,
00:02:56.780 you're like,
00:02:57.040 okay,
00:02:58.040 this is what I like,
00:02:59.460 so let's try to keep this going
00:03:01.980 or make this better.
00:03:04.040 Right?
00:03:05.040 And it goes both ways.
00:03:07.780 Yeah,
00:03:08.020 and I think that I've been there,
00:03:09.620 I've been in a relationship
00:03:11.080 and I've put on weight in that relationship,
00:03:12.780 so I'm not just talking blindly.
00:03:15.420 I've gone up to 16 stone at my heaviest.
00:03:19.780 But I also know that
00:03:21.400 as much as you try to put this body positivity
00:03:23.540 on everything,
00:03:24.380 at that particular point in my life,
00:03:26.720 I was very unhappy
00:03:28.100 through a lot of reasons
00:03:30.580 because I knew that I wasn't the same person
00:03:32.640 I was when my partner met me
00:03:34.260 and I didn't feel confident in myself.
00:03:36.520 But even though I've lost that weight,
00:03:38.360 I've still carried that with me.
00:03:40.700 So for the Americans at home,
00:03:42.400 I was calculating,
00:03:44.500 yeah,
00:03:44.980 16 stone is 224 pounds.
00:03:47.120 You look great.
00:03:47.760 Oh my gosh,
00:03:48.280 you're 220 pounds.
00:03:49.700 You look great.
00:03:50.740 59,
00:03:51.000 like nearly 16 stone,
00:03:52.240 that's how much I've got.
00:03:53.080 You look,
00:03:53.860 seriously.
00:03:55.080 But I know how I fit,
00:03:56.180 so as much as people used to say,
00:03:57.620 oh,
00:03:57.820 you look good,
00:03:59.100 me personally,
00:03:59.980 for myself,
00:04:00.780 I didn't feel that way.
00:04:02.400 No,
00:04:02.600 you look really good.
00:04:03.480 I was like that my whole life,
00:04:05.880 but I was just sick and tired
00:04:07.940 of being unhappy.
00:04:09.540 I'm like,
00:04:09.940 do you know,
00:04:10.220 this world is so short.
00:04:11.760 Yeah,
00:04:12.100 and if you can get to that point
00:04:13.240 without that,
00:04:14.180 then great.
00:04:14.800 But me personally,
00:04:16.100 it was just a massive thing for me.
00:04:18.020 I couldn't get past it.
00:04:18.920 It's amazing how good you look now.
00:04:20.560 That's a key,
00:04:21.040 because a lot of,
00:04:21.600 the majority of people,
00:04:22.980 when they get that big,
00:04:25.080 they,
00:04:25.480 can't go back.
00:04:26.040 It's a large percentage of people
00:04:27.960 that,
00:04:28.320 I was at my heaviest.
00:04:32.000 I was 19 stone.
00:04:33.620 That's more than 16 stone.
00:04:35.260 So that,
00:04:35.740 wow.
00:04:37.520 Are you guys friends?
00:04:38.680 Yeah,
00:04:38.960 yeah.
00:04:39.340 19,
00:04:39.780 26,
00:04:40.100 did you guys do it together?
00:04:41.620 Yeah.
00:04:41.960 Did you lose it together?
00:04:43.140 No,
00:04:43.440 I was literally the fat kid
00:04:45.980 that ate cake.
00:04:47.120 I was,
00:04:47.620 the food was my comfort.
00:04:48.980 It was,
00:04:49.340 it was everything to me.
00:04:50.480 Like Matilda?
00:04:51.000 Yeah.
00:04:51.760 And that's,
00:04:52.720 that's all I loved.
00:04:54.140 And it was an everyday thing,
00:04:55.740 but in my head,
00:04:56.780 in my mind,
00:04:57.400 I was shifting the weight,
00:04:58.640 but the reality of it,
00:04:59.660 I wasn't,
00:05:00.580 I wasn't motivated
00:05:01.580 and there was nothing to work toward.
00:05:04.100 And I lived with that
00:05:05.420 for most of my childhood.
00:05:07.060 I lived with that
00:05:07.960 throughout my early adult years.
00:05:10.000 I had children when I was young.
00:05:12.540 So obviously after having children,
00:05:14.660 you've got the baby weight
00:05:16.380 that stayed on you
00:05:17.440 and then you will have areas
00:05:19.180 of your body then
00:05:20.400 that you can't cover up.
00:05:23.520 Yeah.
00:05:23.680 You know,
00:05:24.080 that you can't hide.
00:05:26.280 And so that kind of led me
00:05:28.040 to then staying at home.
00:05:30.200 And then there's a cycle after that
00:05:32.820 where,
00:05:34.520 you know,
00:05:35.020 you're at home,
00:05:36.120 you're socially excluded
00:05:37.280 from,
00:05:38.080 from,
00:05:38.620 from places and people.
00:05:40.240 And then you tend to put yourself
00:05:41.660 into a box,
00:05:43.360 a self-hate then
00:05:45.180 because whatever trauma
00:05:47.060 that you actually had,
00:05:48.400 which got you there,
00:05:49.900 starts to manifest
00:05:50.840 as you get older.
00:05:51.820 And when you look at the people
00:05:53.360 around you,
00:05:54.080 when you look at how people
00:05:54.920 respond to you,
00:05:56.180 you're constantly battling yourself
00:05:58.840 and it is self.
00:06:00.740 And for me,
00:06:02.060 I had to heal first.
00:06:03.620 I had to first figure out
00:06:04.900 what was the trauma?
00:06:06.480 Yeah.
00:06:06.580 Where's the problem?
00:06:08.840 And with that,
00:06:09.900 you don't even know where to begin
00:06:11.040 because you don't know
00:06:12.020 what the problem is.
00:06:13.580 Then you have to soul search.
00:06:15.140 You have to look
00:06:15.640 who you've got around you.
00:06:17.000 You then have to look
00:06:17.600 at your parents,
00:06:19.160 how you grew up,
00:06:20.580 your school days,
00:06:22.220 and all of that
00:06:22.900 you have to calculate.
00:06:23.680 And sometimes you are the problem.
00:06:26.400 Sometimes the way
00:06:27.080 that you've behaved
00:06:27.660 is a problem.
00:06:28.400 However,
00:06:28.660 the way that you've behaved
00:06:30.040 isn't necessarily
00:06:31.340 because you've wanted
00:06:32.660 to be that way,
00:06:33.700 but you were trying
00:06:34.400 to be something
00:06:34.900 that you was not
00:06:35.700 in the first instance.
00:06:37.420 So for me,
00:06:38.080 once I discovered
00:06:39.140 all of that
00:06:39.780 and I'd shifted
00:06:41.820 to some weight
00:06:43.300 and got to a healthy weight,
00:06:44.740 I then chose for me
00:06:46.600 to have surgery.
00:06:47.940 That was the gift to myself.
00:06:50.260 So after I'd healed
00:06:51.640 and I'd recognized
00:06:53.220 where the trauma came from
00:06:54.320 and I dealt with that trauma,
00:06:55.980 my gift to myself then
00:06:57.500 was to have surgery.
00:06:59.120 What kind of surgery?
00:06:59.960 I had a tummy tuck.
00:07:01.220 Good for you.
00:07:01.660 I've had liposuction.
00:07:02.900 Me too.
00:07:03.280 I've had my boobs done. 0.60
00:07:04.400 I had liposuction.
00:07:06.220 And tying into the whole thing
00:07:07.840 because a lot of people 0.99
00:07:08.600 try to like shit on me 1.00
00:07:09.480 right now 0.99
00:07:09.800 because I got liposuction,
00:07:11.780 right?
00:07:12.320 Because I was just
00:07:12.900 in such a bad place.
00:07:14.260 You know why?
00:07:14.660 Because I was reading
00:07:15.080 YouTube comments.
00:07:17.340 Everybody's just telling me
00:07:18.300 this was in like 2021 March.
00:07:20.080 I got it.
00:07:20.600 But I also was fully transparent
00:07:23.760 about it
00:07:24.180 and I made a full documentary
00:07:25.320 about it in Tokyo.
00:07:28.260 But at the time,
00:07:29.580 it was so crazy
00:07:30.440 because I was so like
00:07:32.520 just constantly being slammed
00:07:34.580 because I wasn't like huge.
00:07:35.980 I just had like a little
00:07:36.660 in my midsection.
00:07:38.820 And then I was just like
00:07:41.160 a man possessed.
00:07:42.640 And then I was just like,
00:07:43.880 yeah, let's do it.
00:07:44.540 Let's do it.
00:07:45.020 Pay, pay, pay, pay, whatever.
00:07:46.460 And the next thing you know, 1.00
00:07:47.120 I'm laying on the fucking 1.00
00:07:47.860 surgery table. 1.00
00:07:48.480 I'm like, oh, fuck. 1.00
00:07:49.140 I'm like, this is going 1.00
00:07:50.580 to be crazy.
00:07:51.300 And then I woke up
00:07:52.140 and I was just like,
00:07:52.860 oh my God.
00:07:54.720 I can't believe
00:07:55.440 I went through with that.
00:07:57.200 But that was the same
00:07:58.340 for myself.
00:07:59.000 And you know,
00:08:00.020 it's so crazy too
00:08:00.900 given that because like
00:08:02.200 I said, I'm not hiding it.
00:08:03.580 I don't care.
00:08:04.640 I tell everybody,
00:08:05.420 you know what,
00:08:05.720 put it on my tombstone.
00:08:06.860 Like put it right there.
00:08:08.160 Here lies MLD.
00:08:09.400 You got liposuction. 1.00
00:08:10.340 What an asshole. 1.00
00:08:10.680 You know, 1.00
00:08:14.140 I'm happy when I did it.
00:08:16.100 And then I learned
00:08:17.380 a lot of lessons
00:08:17.980 along the way.
00:08:20.000 So,
00:08:20.560 but even though
00:08:22.320 now I get shamed.
00:08:24.080 Why?
00:08:24.720 For being a man
00:08:25.540 that got liposuction. 0.93
00:08:26.540 Right.
00:08:26.880 But I don't care
00:08:27.680 because.
00:08:28.360 Do you get called lazy
00:08:29.300 though,
00:08:29.560 that you were lazy?
00:08:30.480 Oh, you know,
00:08:31.020 everything.
00:08:31.600 This guy does.
00:08:32.860 This guy has no discipline.
00:08:34.800 This guy,
00:08:35.340 this,
00:08:35.700 this guy that.
00:08:36.080 I'm like,
00:08:36.340 have you seen
00:08:37.380 the business empire
00:08:39.460 that I run?
00:08:39.980 Like I didn't run
00:08:40.580 that being lazy,
00:08:41.380 but all that aside,
00:08:43.100 I would rather personally,
00:08:45.160 I would rather be shamed
00:08:46.480 for getting liposuction
00:08:48.480 than being shamed
00:08:50.680 for being overweight.
00:08:51.960 And at this point
00:08:52.920 in my life,
00:08:53.400 if they,
00:08:53.760 because people are going
00:08:54.700 to criticize you
00:08:55.420 no matter what.
00:08:56.560 And I did use it
00:08:58.260 because,
00:08:58.740 you know,
00:08:59.320 I wanted to create
00:09:00.200 this documentary
00:09:00.840 and I wanted the fat cells
00:09:02.600 out of my body.
00:09:03.240 And so I'm still
00:09:05.400 I'm even here
00:09:06.920 on the UK
00:09:07.400 on my trip.
00:09:08.060 I'm still exercising.
00:09:09.120 I still eat clean.
00:09:10.180 And I understand
00:09:11.440 to,
00:09:12.660 is it Alicia?
00:09:14.780 Alicia?
00:09:15.220 Alicia.
00:09:15.760 Alicia.
00:09:16.160 I'm so sorry.
00:09:17.200 That's okay.
00:09:17.880 You'll forgive me.
00:09:19.340 Alicia,
00:09:20.040 as Alicia alluded to earlier,
00:09:22.740 Alicia was correct
00:09:23.620 when she said
00:09:24.120 the symptom
00:09:24.720 is something going
00:09:25.720 on inside of you.
00:09:26.380 And then Pam,
00:09:26.900 Pam as well said
00:09:28.180 that what was going
00:09:29.240 on inside of you
00:09:30.180 is there is some,
00:09:31.860 there's some trauma.
00:09:32.920 There's some things.
00:09:33.500 So I think
00:09:34.400 what Pearl said
00:09:35.200 is absolutely correct.
00:09:36.520 We can't glorify this
00:09:38.240 because at the end
00:09:38.960 of the day,
00:09:39.420 what we're doing
00:09:40.300 is we're glorifying
00:09:41.660 poor mental health.
00:09:43.080 Yes.
00:09:43.480 Because we can't
00:09:44.540 be glorifying
00:09:45.340 that kind of stuff
00:09:46.040 because,
00:09:46.640 and you're literally
00:09:47.480 sending people off
00:09:48.320 to an early grave.
00:09:49.400 I'm a big fan
00:09:50.300 of being alive.
00:09:51.720 So am I.
00:09:52.840 So am I.
00:09:54.040 Absolutely.
00:09:54.140 You know,
00:09:54.420 and it's so,
00:09:54.800 it's,
00:09:55.140 it's,
00:09:55.200 it's,