JustPearlyThings - October 22, 2023


Pearl Drops This Harsh Reality


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

191.72743

Word Count

1,902

Sentence Count

160

Misogynist Sentences

11

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So I'm a big fan of love.
00:00:02.120 I'm a big fan of like being in love
00:00:04.080 and being in a relationship,
00:00:05.080 having a good woman in your life.
00:00:06.880 And for me, I just,
00:00:09.520 maybe this is selfish,
00:00:10.580 but I'd be like,
00:00:11.060 you need to fucking stay skinny
00:00:12.400 so you don't die
00:00:13.160 because I don't want to do this again.
00:00:14.960 I don't want to fall in love
00:00:15.920 and lose you and all that shit.
00:00:17.920 So anytime I'm in a relationship
00:00:19.380 with a girl,
00:00:20.460 whether she works out or not,
00:00:21.860 she's going to start working out
00:00:23.100 when she's dating me.
00:00:24.340 So I would just hate to see that
00:00:25.620 as a person dating someone
00:00:27.160 who is gaining weight
00:00:29.020 and then I have to be like
00:00:30.920 looking and dealing with
00:00:32.240 the health issues that come with that.
00:00:34.120 Yeah, so women are more likely
00:00:35.860 than men to gain weight after marriage.
00:00:39.120 So do you guys think it's fair
00:00:41.580 to gain weight after getting married?
00:00:45.400 Why not?
00:00:46.080 I don't think it's fair.
00:00:47.340 I don't think so either.
00:00:48.080 You don't think it's fair?
00:00:48.820 Drop it on them, Pam.
00:00:49.760 Drop it on them, Pam.
00:00:50.900 That person met you a certain way
00:00:54.860 and obviously that's what they went for
00:00:58.480 and that's what they desired
00:00:59.500 so that's what they will continue to desire
00:01:01.940 and although they would probably
00:01:03.700 still love you,
00:01:04.820 they definitely wouldn't find you
00:01:06.440 still as attractive.
00:01:07.780 That's just how it would be.
00:01:09.860 Yeah, I think that's just like a lot of,
00:01:11.600 I think that's like really common sense
00:01:13.640 that's really not present
00:01:14.700 in today's generation
00:01:15.780 because it's just like,
00:01:17.660 it's unfair.
00:01:19.380 It's so selfish to just like,
00:01:21.400 that's like a guy getting a relationship
00:01:22.860 with a girl and be like,
00:01:23.640 oh, you know what?
00:01:24.200 I'm going to quit my job
00:01:26.120 and I want you to take care of me.
00:01:27.580 That's my next question.
00:01:29.120 But guys,
00:01:29.780 you guys encourage your partners.
00:01:32.200 Just encourage them with food,
00:01:34.240 encourage them exercise.
00:01:35.900 Why do we,
00:01:36.660 for example,
00:01:37.640 yeah,
00:01:38.200 but he probably was encouraging her
00:01:39.820 but she literally gained 120 pounds.
00:01:43.320 That's a whole other human.
00:01:44.140 But they did it together.
00:01:45.400 It feels,
00:01:45.900 it seems like it was their couple goal.
00:01:47.840 It was like goals,
00:01:48.480 you know,
00:01:48.640 couple.
00:01:48.780 No,
00:01:49.180 no,
00:01:49.620 no,
00:01:50.620 they didn't.
00:01:51.500 She got bigger
00:01:52.480 and he didn't get that much bigger.
00:01:53.900 Yeah,
00:01:54.060 let's play it again.
00:01:55.800 Anyway,
00:01:56.520 you guys don't know
00:01:57.580 the world of chop chases as well.
00:01:59.620 I am big
00:02:00.460 so I can tell you
00:02:01.040 the world of chop chases as well.
00:02:02.200 But we're talking about the video.
00:02:03.680 Like,
00:02:03.840 he wasn't getting...
00:02:04.660 He probably likes big women.
00:02:06.880 No,
00:02:07.460 come on.
00:02:07.800 He wouldn't have married.
00:02:08.520 Then he would have married.
00:02:09.900 Wait,
00:02:10.380 wait,
00:02:10.660 he would have married a big woman
00:02:12.420 if you wanted a big woman.
00:02:14.620 So I think it's one thing
00:02:15.900 if you marry,
00:02:16.700 wait,
00:02:16.900 if you marry a chick
00:02:18.140 and she's like over,
00:02:19.460 I don't know what 200 pounds is here.
00:02:21.500 Okay,
00:02:21.920 that's one thing.
00:02:23.280 But it's like if you sign up for one thing
00:02:25.340 and then she bamboozles you later,
00:02:27.260 you think that's fair?
00:02:28.320 Just like if I marry a guy thinking
00:02:30.280 he's going to pay all the bills
00:02:31.720 and I'm going to get to be a stay-at-home wife
00:02:33.420 and that's what I thought.
00:02:34.800 And then one day he's like,
00:02:36.020 you know what?
00:02:38.020 Yeah,
00:02:38.320 I just don't feel like working anymore.
00:02:41.220 Or I don't feel like being faithful anymore.
00:02:44.100 I'm just going to go fuck every girl
00:02:46.980 I could find now.
00:02:48.660 Or on her side too,
00:02:50.080 it would just not be cool.
00:02:51.060 I just think that you need to be,
00:02:53.680 because I think it's common sense
00:02:55.700 when you get in a relationship,
00:02:56.780 you're like,
00:02:57.040 okay,
00:02:58.040 this is what I like,
00:02:59.460 so let's try to keep this going
00:03:01.980 or make this better.
00:03:04.040 Right?
00:03:05.040 And it goes both ways.
00:03:07.780 Yeah,
00:03:08.020 and I think that I've been there,
00:03:09.620 I've been in a relationship
00:03:11.080 and I've put on weight in that relationship,
00:03:12.780 so I'm not just talking blindly.
00:03:15.420 I've gone up to 16 stone at my heaviest.
00:03:19.780 But I also know that
00:03:21.400 as much as you try to put this body positivity
00:03:23.540 on everything,
00:03:24.380 at that particular point in my life,
00:03:26.720 I was very unhappy
00:03:28.100 through a lot of reasons
00:03:30.580 because I knew that I wasn't the same person
00:03:32.640 I was when my partner met me
00:03:34.260 and I didn't feel confident in myself.
00:03:36.520 But even though I've lost that weight,
00:03:38.360 I've still carried that with me.
00:03:40.700 So for the Americans at home,
00:03:42.400 I was calculating,
00:03:44.500 yeah,
00:03:44.980 16 stone is 224 pounds.
00:03:47.120 You look great.
00:03:47.760 Oh my gosh,
00:03:48.280 you're 220 pounds.
00:03:49.700 You look great.
00:03:50.740 59,
00:03:51.000 like nearly 16 stone,
00:03:52.240 that's how much I've got.
00:03:53.080 You look,
00:03:53.860 seriously.
00:03:55.080 But I know how I fit,
00:03:56.180 so as much as people used to say,
00:03:57.620 oh,
00:03:57.820 you look good,
00:03:59.100 me personally,
00:03:59.980 for myself,
00:04:00.780 I didn't feel that way.
00:04:02.400 No,
00:04:02.600 you look really good.
00:04:03.480 I was like that my whole life,
00:04:05.880 but I was just sick and tired
00:04:07.940 of being unhappy.
00:04:09.540 I'm like,
00:04:09.940 do you know,
00:04:10.220 this world is so short.
00:04:11.760 Yeah,
00:04:12.100 and if you can get to that point
00:04:13.240 without that,
00:04:14.180 then great.
00:04:14.800 But me personally,
00:04:16.100 it was just a massive thing for me.
00:04:18.020 I couldn't get past it.
00:04:18.920 It's amazing how good you look now.
00:04:20.560 That's a key,
00:04:21.040 because a lot of,
00:04:21.600 the majority of people,
00:04:22.980 when they get that big,
00:04:25.080 they,
00:04:25.480 can't go back.
00:04:26.040 It's a large percentage of people
00:04:27.960 that,
00:04:28.320 I was at my heaviest.
00:04:32.000 I was 19 stone.
00:04:33.620 That's more than 16 stone.
00:04:35.260 So that,
00:04:35.740 wow.
00:04:37.520 Are you guys friends?
00:04:38.680 Yeah,
00:04:38.960 yeah.
00:04:39.340 19,
00:04:39.780 26,
00:04:40.100 did you guys do it together?
00:04:41.620 Yeah.
00:04:41.960 Did you lose it together?
00:04:43.140 No,
00:04:43.440 I was literally the fat kid
00:04:45.980 that ate cake.
00:04:47.120 I was,
00:04:47.620 the food was my comfort.
00:04:48.980 It was,
00:04:49.340 it was everything to me.
00:04:50.480 Like Matilda?
00:04:51.000 Yeah.
00:04:51.760 And that's,
00:04:52.720 that's all I loved.
00:04:54.140 And it was an everyday thing,
00:04:55.740 but in my head,
00:04:56.780 in my mind,
00:04:57.400 I was shifting the weight,
00:04:58.640 but the reality of it,
00:04:59.660 I wasn't,
00:05:00.580 I wasn't motivated
00:05:01.580 and there was nothing to work toward.
00:05:04.100 And I lived with that
00:05:05.420 for most of my childhood.
00:05:07.060 I lived with that
00:05:07.960 throughout my early adult years.
00:05:10.000 I had children when I was young.
00:05:12.540 So obviously after having children,
00:05:14.660 you've got the baby weight
00:05:16.380 that stayed on you
00:05:17.440 and then you will have areas
00:05:19.180 of your body then
00:05:20.400 that you can't cover up.
00:05:23.520 Yeah.
00:05:23.680 You know,
00:05:24.080 that you can't hide.
00:05:26.280 And so that kind of led me
00:05:28.040 to then staying at home.
00:05:30.200 And then there's a cycle after that
00:05:32.820 where,
00:05:34.520 you know,
00:05:35.020 you're at home,
00:05:36.120 you're socially excluded
00:05:37.280 from,
00:05:38.080 from,
00:05:38.620 from places and people.
00:05:40.240 And then you tend to put yourself
00:05:41.660 into a box,
00:05:43.360 a self-hate then
00:05:45.180 because whatever trauma
00:05:47.060 that you actually had,
00:05:48.400 which got you there,
00:05:49.900 starts to manifest
00:05:50.840 as you get older.
00:05:51.820 And when you look at the people
00:05:53.360 around you,
00:05:54.080 when you look at how people
00:05:54.920 respond to you,
00:05:56.180 you're constantly battling yourself
00:05:58.840 and it is self.
00:06:00.740 And for me,
00:06:02.060 I had to heal first.
00:06:03.620 I had to first figure out
00:06:04.900 what was the trauma?
00:06:06.480 Yeah.
00:06:06.580 Where's the problem?
00:06:08.840 And with that,
00:06:09.900 you don't even know where to begin
00:06:11.040 because you don't know
00:06:12.020 what the problem is.
00:06:13.580 Then you have to soul search.
00:06:15.140 You have to look
00:06:15.640 who you've got around you.
00:06:17.000 You then have to look
00:06:17.600 at your parents,
00:06:19.160 how you grew up,
00:06:20.580 your school days,
00:06:22.220 and all of that
00:06:22.900 you have to calculate.
00:06:23.680 And sometimes you are the problem.
00:06:26.400 Sometimes the way
00:06:27.080 that you've behaved
00:06:27.660 is a problem.
00:06:28.400 However,
00:06:28.660 the way that you've behaved
00:06:30.040 isn't necessarily
00:06:31.340 because you've wanted
00:06:32.660 to be that way,
00:06:33.700 but you were trying
00:06:34.400 to be something
00:06:34.900 that you was not
00:06:35.700 in the first instance.
00:06:37.420 So for me,
00:06:38.080 once I discovered
00:06:39.140 all of that
00:06:39.780 and I'd shifted
00:06:41.820 to some weight
00:06:43.300 and got to a healthy weight,
00:06:44.740 I then chose for me
00:06:46.600 to have surgery.
00:06:47.940 That was the gift to myself.
00:06:50.260 So after I'd healed
00:06:51.640 and I'd recognized
00:06:53.220 where the trauma came from
00:06:54.320 and I dealt with that trauma,
00:06:55.980 my gift to myself then
00:06:57.500 was to have surgery.
00:06:59.120 What kind of surgery?
00:06:59.960 I had a tummy tuck.
00:07:01.220 Good for you.
00:07:01.660 I've had liposuction.
00:07:02.900 Me too.
00:07:03.280 I've had my boobs done.
00:07:04.400 I had liposuction.
00:07:06.220 And tying into the whole thing
00:07:07.840 because a lot of people
00:07:08.600 try to like shit on me
00:07:09.480 right now
00:07:09.800 because I got liposuction,
00:07:11.780 right?
00:07:12.320 Because I was just
00:07:12.900 in such a bad place.
00:07:14.260 You know why?
00:07:14.660 Because I was reading
00:07:15.080 YouTube comments.
00:07:17.340 Everybody's just telling me
00:07:18.300 this was in like 2021 March.
00:07:20.080 I got it.
00:07:20.600 But I also was fully transparent
00:07:23.760 about it
00:07:24.180 and I made a full documentary
00:07:25.320 about it in Tokyo.
00:07:28.260 But at the time,
00:07:29.580 it was so crazy
00:07:30.440 because I was so like
00:07:32.520 just constantly being slammed
00:07:34.580 because I wasn't like huge.
00:07:35.980 I just had like a little
00:07:36.660 in my midsection.
00:07:38.820 And then I was just like
00:07:41.160 a man possessed.
00:07:42.640 And then I was just like,
00:07:43.880 yeah, let's do it.
00:07:44.540 Let's do it.
00:07:45.020 Pay, pay, pay, pay, whatever.
00:07:46.460 And the next thing you know,
00:07:47.120 I'm laying on the fucking
00:07:47.860 surgery table.
00:07:48.480 I'm like, oh, fuck.
00:07:49.140 I'm like, this is going
00:07:50.580 to be crazy.
00:07:51.300 And then I woke up
00:07:52.140 and I was just like,
00:07:52.860 oh my God.
00:07:54.720 I can't believe
00:07:55.440 I went through with that.
00:07:57.200 But that was the same
00:07:58.340 for myself.
00:07:59.000 And you know,
00:08:00.020 it's so crazy too
00:08:00.900 given that because like
00:08:02.200 I said, I'm not hiding it.
00:08:03.580 I don't care.
00:08:04.640 I tell everybody,
00:08:05.420 you know what,
00:08:05.720 put it on my tombstone.
00:08:06.860 Like put it right there.
00:08:08.160 Here lies MLD.
00:08:09.400 You got liposuction.
00:08:10.340 What an asshole.
00:08:10.680 You know,
00:08:14.140 I'm happy when I did it.
00:08:16.100 And then I learned
00:08:17.380 a lot of lessons
00:08:17.980 along the way.
00:08:20.000 So,
00:08:20.560 but even though
00:08:22.320 now I get shamed.
00:08:24.080 Why?
00:08:24.720 For being a man
00:08:25.540 that got liposuction.
00:08:26.540 Right.
00:08:26.880 But I don't care
00:08:27.680 because.
00:08:28.360 Do you get called lazy
00:08:29.300 though,
00:08:29.560 that you were lazy?
00:08:30.480 Oh, you know,
00:08:31.020 everything.
00:08:31.600 This guy does.
00:08:32.860 This guy has no discipline.
00:08:34.800 This guy,
00:08:35.340 this,
00:08:35.700 this guy that.
00:08:36.080 I'm like,
00:08:36.340 have you seen
00:08:37.380 the business empire
00:08:39.460 that I run?
00:08:39.980 Like I didn't run
00:08:40.580 that being lazy,
00:08:41.380 but all that aside,
00:08:43.100 I would rather personally,
00:08:45.160 I would rather be shamed
00:08:46.480 for getting liposuction
00:08:48.480 than being shamed
00:08:50.680 for being overweight.
00:08:51.960 And at this point
00:08:52.920 in my life,
00:08:53.400 if they,
00:08:53.760 because people are going
00:08:54.700 to criticize you
00:08:55.420 no matter what.
00:08:56.560 And I did use it
00:08:58.260 because,
00:08:58.740 you know,
00:08:59.320 I wanted to create
00:09:00.200 this documentary
00:09:00.840 and I wanted the fat cells
00:09:02.600 out of my body.
00:09:03.240 And so I'm still
00:09:05.400 I'm even here
00:09:06.920 on the UK
00:09:07.400 on my trip.
00:09:08.060 I'm still exercising.
00:09:09.120 I still eat clean.
00:09:10.180 And I understand
00:09:11.440 to,
00:09:12.660 is it Alicia?
00:09:14.780 Alicia?
00:09:15.220 Alicia.
00:09:15.760 Alicia.
00:09:16.160 I'm so sorry.
00:09:17.200 That's okay.
00:09:17.880 You'll forgive me.
00:09:19.340 Alicia,
00:09:20.040 as Alicia alluded to earlier,
00:09:22.740 Alicia was correct
00:09:23.620 when she said
00:09:24.120 the symptom
00:09:24.720 is something going
00:09:25.720 on inside of you.
00:09:26.380 And then Pam,
00:09:26.900 Pam as well said
00:09:28.180 that what was going
00:09:29.240 on inside of you
00:09:30.180 is there is some,
00:09:31.860 there's some trauma.
00:09:32.920 There's some things.
00:09:33.500 So I think
00:09:34.400 what Pearl said
00:09:35.200 is absolutely correct.
00:09:36.520 We can't glorify this
00:09:38.240 because at the end
00:09:38.960 of the day,
00:09:39.420 what we're doing
00:09:40.300 is we're glorifying
00:09:41.660 poor mental health.
00:09:43.080 Yes.
00:09:43.480 Because we can't
00:09:44.540 be glorifying
00:09:45.340 that kind of stuff
00:09:46.040 because,
00:09:46.640 and you're literally
00:09:47.480 sending people off
00:09:48.320 to an early grave.
00:09:49.400 I'm a big fan
00:09:50.300 of being alive.
00:09:51.720 So am I.
00:09:52.840 So am I.
00:09:54.040 Absolutely.
00:09:54.140 You know,
00:09:54.420 and it's so,
00:09:54.800 it's,
00:09:55.140 it's,
00:09:55.200 it's,