Pearl Educates Modern Woman About Marriage
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
223.6084
Summary
In this episode, we discuss why women should or shouldn t get married at 40. We also talk about if women should stay in a relationship if they are in a monogamous relationship at that age. We discuss why a woman should or should not leave her husband if he cheats on her and why she should stay if he does cheat on her.
Transcript
00:00:09.880
So my opinion with this, I feel like, as a woman, you should have standards, but then
00:00:15.800
Like, at that age, your standards should go a bit lower, let's be honest.
00:00:19.120
And then my opinion, if you've got a good career and you feel so hard for your career,
00:00:35.140
Because at 22, she could have married a provider.
00:00:39.500
She could have had been in that position, but she chose to go after it.
00:00:45.640
But then you get to that position, and now you require someone that makes more.
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My question is, why does she feel like she is above?
00:00:58.500
I just want to know, like, what is it that she's doing?
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She's clearly doing something correct for her to have that opinion.
00:01:04.260
But what part of it made you think that she thinks she's above?
00:01:17.940
But what part of what she said made you feel like she felt that she was better than him?
00:01:22.580
No, I think that she must be doing something great to have that opinion.
00:01:34.880
Because, like, my whole point is he's in a job that makes society run.
00:01:39.480
And none of, like, women in general, none of us would be able to do anything if the men
00:01:46.040
And so now it's like the men are building and running society.
00:01:50.420
And then we come in and get these cushy jobs and act like we're better than the men that
00:01:56.080
So it's not even that she's not a high value woman.
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It's that she is perhaps too dominant in a sense, not feminine enough.
00:02:03.200
Because why is it that she's got a good career?
00:02:12.020
And so that's why I say she's delusional because she has this ego.
00:02:15.600
Where it's like, okay, if you're 40 and you're unmarried, you're basically a loser by
00:02:21.960
And so she's a loser out here and she's shitting on an average dude.
00:02:32.600
So let her live in her delusion and she will see what she may find and she will have to
00:02:40.100
Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
00:02:49.200
She might have just came out of a marriage that he's just cheated.
00:02:52.460
So she's left because she's confident in herself and has the self-worth to leave.
00:03:02.120
I think women should stay if they get cheated on in general.
00:03:06.080
As a blanket statement or do you mean if he's a provider?
00:03:08.620
No, I think in general you should stay because I think women don't care about vows anymore.
00:03:13.620
And at the end of the day, you did take vows for richer, for better, for worse.
00:03:17.540
Because I think most women at some point have accepted attention from another man in a relationship.
00:03:23.240
And so a lot of times I think like women will demonize men for cheating, but they still have open Instagram accounts.
00:03:32.820
I mean, it's still a for sale sign if your face is on it.
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So because I'm taken, do you think I should put my account on private?
00:03:40.340
Even if it blocks all of my business and my work, no one can see my content.
00:03:44.420
I mean, I think it depends what matters to you.
00:03:47.600
But yeah, I think if you're with a guy that you want to be married to, I would.
00:03:53.160
You know, I'm not going to tell you how to run your relationship.
00:03:55.960
But I think in general it's just funny because, again, I believe attention is to women, as sex is to men.
00:04:01.620
The men are expected to stop having sex with other people, but the women are not expected to put away Instagram.
00:04:06.600
And so I think a lot of times women demonize men for cheating and make them be this evil person.
00:04:11.560
But we don't take the, like, the thorn out of our own eye before throwing in the towel.
00:04:17.140
How many times, when you say cheat, do you mean just like the one-off or what?
00:04:23.360
Like, I think there's a lot of issues that we don't talk about in a marriage.
00:04:26.420
And I think one of them is that a lot of men are in sexless marriages.
00:04:34.040
They get home and they're just nagging, nagging, nagging.
00:04:36.320
And so then the guy goes elsewhere because of something the woman did.
00:04:40.200
And so, and then the girl will cry on social media and say, oh, I was cheated on.
00:04:44.140
And we immediately say, aww, without asking any questions of what she had to play.
00:04:49.840
My question is, like, if a man is to cheat multiple times, should the woman stay?
00:04:59.360
But I think sometimes you have to go through hard times.
00:05:01.440
So are you trying to say, like, cheating is not that steep?
00:05:06.820
I'm not saying cheating is okay or should be inspired for.
00:05:09.340
And I think you should aim to get a guy that doesn't cheat.
00:05:11.660
But what I'm saying is, like, we used to believe that the family was more important than our
00:05:16.920
And now if we are hurt or damaged in a relationship, we want to, like, play the victim and act like
00:05:25.300
And there's no understanding in relationships anymore.
00:05:28.200
Now, if you are on point towards your man and he still has this promiscuous attitude where
00:05:36.040
I think, you know, I think there should be some humility because you're probably not on
00:05:41.980
No, but I mean, you're the best that you can be, and he loves that.
00:05:45.820
But perhaps, it's rare, by the way, that a man would act that way.
00:05:52.440
I think the goal should always be to work it out.
00:05:55.780
I think the goal, like, are there exceptions where you should leave?
00:06:00.100
But I think as woman, like, and wanting to keep families together, your goal should always
00:06:04.740
be to work it out instead of just to leave every time it gets hard.
00:06:09.680
The girl, like, the girl gets cheated on, but it's like, you've never flirted with another
00:06:15.780
Do you say this because you're putting children at, like, the epicenter of, like, keeping the
00:06:22.800
And I believe in real marriage, not the marriage we have today.
00:06:26.000
So, like, now, I think marriage isn't marriage anymore today.
00:06:29.440
I think if you believe that you should leave in every, like, bad part of a relationship,
00:06:39.060
But if you believe in for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, that means your
00:06:43.080
husband might step out and you might have to work it out.
00:06:46.120
And I think we should go into, like, marriage just knowing that might happen and knowing
00:06:51.380
But that's why a lot of people are not getting married nowadays.
00:06:53.920
And also, on both sides, the man is also going to do things that are wrong.
00:07:04.200
And do you hold women to the same regard in terms of, like, if a woman cheats the majesty?
00:07:08.000
I think cheating is infinitely worse for women than men.
00:07:16.140
They say in the Bible that, like, a woman can, or a man can divorce a woman if she cheats,
00:07:22.140
but they don't say the same for a woman to a man.
00:07:35.520
I think if the woman cheats, he should divorce her more.
00:07:49.700
It's not okay, but it's very, very different as a woman.
00:07:57.900
Is it like, that's like the final straw, really?
00:08:02.980
Not only that, but also in the Bible and in the Quran,
00:08:06.600
it says that like women are just more precious physically.
00:08:14.400
Whilst women, we actually come from the man's ribs.
00:08:19.580
And I also want to add to the point that keeping the family together
00:08:23.580
Because we all know that when kids come from a broken home,
00:08:27.220
they become more damaged and they become more confused
00:08:30.460
So I agree on the point that you should make it work,
00:08:33.780
But that is why it's so important for the husband as well.
00:08:36.400
Because if the woman is just trying, it's not okay for the kids.
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I've seen that happen where the woman is giving, giving, giving
00:08:45.520
I think, yeah, but without like talking with exceptions and stuff,
00:08:48.520
because there's always, oh, this could be, he could be abusive,
00:08:51.500
Without talking, let's say a healthy relationship
00:08:53.580
and that occurred, I do believe we should work it out.
00:09:02.200
But realistically, would he be looking somewhere else
00:09:07.560
If he didn't, if he didn't have the home environment,
00:09:15.500
because we, there is bad men as well without the exception.
00:09:25.660
Or if she's bringing bullshit every single day.
00:09:30.220
I feel like a lot of men say that you can love a woman
00:09:32.780
and still like, you know, have SEX with another woman.
00:09:35.700
Like, I actually want you guys to break it down to be like,
00:09:41.920
love one woman, but do something to hurt her at the same time,
00:09:46.060
Like, would you be able to answer that question?
00:09:56.000
What if bust in the nut is going to break her heart?
00:10:01.160
My love for you, it's not gone because I'm talking to somebody else.
00:10:07.600
If a woman gets pregnant, she's out for almost nine months
00:10:14.320
So, biologically, one woman really can't satisfy a man.
00:10:21.240
If a man cheats on his pregnant wife, that's disgusting.
00:10:29.140
Yeah, but that's what you're basing on, that time period.
00:10:44.720
Because your immediate response is, oh, that's disgusting.
00:10:50.280
But I'm saying as a society, we lack understanding for men
00:10:53.960
instead of understanding where they're coming from.
00:10:56.700
If she's not sleeping with you and she's pregnant, it's hard for a guy.
00:11:00.840
So what I've based it on is the woman is still wanting to sleep with her man,
00:11:06.240
but he views her, a lot of men, they get turned off during the woman's pregnancy, right?
00:11:11.320
She doesn't look the same, so therefore they look elsewhere.
00:11:14.280
That is a type of, in my eyes, that is disgusting.
00:11:18.000
And that's the type of man that you want to avoid.
00:11:23.300
I don't mean like, I don't mean a good man who's, you know,
00:11:26.920
the woman's turning him down, he's looking elsewhere.
00:11:30.780
and you're just looking at her thinking, oh, she looks ugly.
00:11:35.820
Like men don't want to sleep when they're pregnant?
00:11:42.960
No, I think that like women kind of like have these horror stories
00:11:48.280
Because women are more susceptible to like propaganda, to be honest.
00:11:51.380
So I think there's like a bunch of like programming
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where they just give us these crazy stories that don't really.
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It's not like if you have sex, you're poking the baby's head and stuff.
00:12:00.860
But the story that I just gave, is that what you mean?
00:12:03.380
No, I mean not just you, but like one of them, yeah.
00:12:08.420
how many times have people mentioned abuse in the show?
00:12:11.660
Yeah, like why is that even mentioned all the time?
00:12:14.020
Like this is left and right, men are abusing women.
00:12:18.340
Women are abusing men is why it works both ways.
00:12:21.420
Right, but I'm saying like that's always the women's immediate response.
00:12:27.880
Like whenever we talk about things that women are doing wrong,
00:12:34.020
I've just noticed it because I've been doing this for so long.