JustPearlyThings - October 11, 2023


Pearl Educates Toxic Feminist


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

230.66275

Word Count

2,333

Sentence Count

248

Misogynist Sentences

42

Hate Speech Sentences

28


Summary

In this episode, we discuss the concept of perfectionism and why it's a bad thing to have a perfect body. We also talk about how we should be more selfless when it comes to caring for the other person.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I lost my train of thought.
00:00:01.060 She said she can attract anybody, big or small, anyway,
00:00:04.180 and that she wants to be able to create AI and all types of stuff at work
00:00:07.680 so she doesn't want to lose her brains.
00:00:09.220 Okay.
00:00:09.600 I lost the train of thought.
00:00:11.760 My bad.
00:00:12.460 Well, I was going to say, I would want a perfect body
00:00:14.520 just so I can look in the mirror and be like,
00:00:16.260 damn, bitch, it's fucking fine.
00:00:17.660 Satisfied.
00:00:17.940 Yeah, not so I can catch a man or keep my girlfriend.
00:00:22.520 I wonder why this is like gut reaction of us women.
00:00:26.280 Whenever it's like we have this, you could have this for a man,
00:00:30.000 it's so interesting because we'll always have to say,
00:00:33.340 no, no, no, it's for myself.
00:00:35.380 But it's really interesting because a family is supposed to be selfless.
00:00:39.780 Families only work if we're selfless and we're thinking about the other person.
00:00:43.240 Yeah, because you're giving everything for your kids.
00:00:43.740 Yeah, and the husband.
00:00:45.660 And it's interesting, too, because we'll give up stuff for our kids
00:00:48.240 and we'll do stuff for the kids.
00:00:49.840 But it's like, why is it a bad thing to say,
00:00:52.180 I want to have a perfect body for the man?
00:00:54.960 I think the whole feminist movement of being an independent woman
00:00:59.120 and even saying that you're codependent on somebody
00:01:02.000 almost is a negative tone these days.
00:01:04.420 But it's not.
00:01:05.100 I mean, technically you are.
00:01:06.200 You're in a relationship.
00:01:07.100 It's okay to be codependent on each other.
00:01:09.300 Yeah, like I would love a perfect body to get married
00:01:12.680 and then a husband and then that's his body.
00:01:14.820 Like, I think that'd be great.
00:01:15.960 Like, what's wrong with that?
00:01:17.260 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:01:18.120 That's just how you view it.
00:01:19.680 You know what I mean?
00:01:20.200 I think everybody has to live with what they would feel comfortable with.
00:01:24.620 So if she doesn't feel comfortable with having a perfect body
00:01:27.560 but she feels comfortable with having a perfect brain,
00:01:29.820 that's her mindset now and then what she'll live with.
00:01:32.420 Right, and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:01:34.500 But I'm just more asking, like, why do we have this gut reaction
00:01:37.540 that anything we do, like, for the men, we have, like,
00:01:40.300 whenever girls say, oh, I don't put on makeup for the men,
00:01:42.720 I do it for myself.
00:01:43.780 I don't do this for the men.
00:01:45.000 Like, why is our gut reaction as women, like, this is for ourselves
00:01:48.960 when if we want to be in a long-term marriage,
00:01:51.160 you're supposed to do a lot, at least, for him.
00:01:54.300 So, if a guy grows a beard because his wife wants him to,
00:01:57.280 is that equivalent to what you're saying?
00:01:59.320 No, because I think men and women are different
00:02:01.180 and I think women are here to serve them.
00:02:02.580 So they have an exception that we don't.
00:02:04.280 Yeah, because I think we're lied to in saying that we're equal
00:02:07.520 and I think the natural order of the world is we're not.
00:02:09.860 I think everybody should be living for themselves
00:02:11.560 and their own happiness
00:02:12.300 and that you should never be codependent on your partner.
00:02:14.600 Okay, I'm going to...
00:02:15.160 Like, you should be happy on your own.
00:02:16.980 I think that's the problem.
00:02:18.000 They should be happy and we should be happy together.
00:02:19.520 So, these people talk about being independent.
00:02:21.880 Independent means you're alone.
00:02:23.280 Yeah.
00:02:23.560 You're not independent in a relationship.
00:02:24.960 Independent means to fail.
00:02:25.400 If you...
00:02:25.920 Look, I'm a provider protector.
00:02:27.880 My responsibility as the king of the house
00:02:29.700 is to provide and protect for her, not control her.
00:02:32.300 Right.
00:02:32.500 You brought something up, but like, treat you bad.
00:02:34.740 There's always these exceptions.
00:02:36.840 I was in a toxic relationship.
00:02:38.520 Everybody's been in bad relationships.
00:02:40.280 Right.
00:02:40.460 But my duty and responsibility and honor
00:02:42.440 is to serve her and provide and protect for her.
00:02:45.400 Her responsibility, she takes care of the home.
00:02:48.340 She cooks the food.
00:02:49.140 This is how we live our life.
00:02:51.460 Now, when you say that, if I say I'm independent,
00:02:54.240 well, then why am I in a relationship?
00:02:55.700 Right.
00:02:55.880 I rely on her to take care of the home.
00:02:58.300 That's what she does.
00:02:59.260 I didn't say independent, did I?
00:03:00.640 No, but I'm saying you said codependent.
00:03:02.280 What are you saying?
00:03:02.360 Codependency is bad.
00:03:02.920 It's not codependent like you're unable to...
00:03:05.020 Like you can't survive.
00:03:06.680 That's not codependency.
00:03:07.400 It's just being a team.
00:03:08.880 Well, no, no, no.
00:03:09.820 So, this is the other misconception.
00:03:12.300 A relationship is not a partnership.
00:03:14.100 A partnership is where you go into business with somebody.
00:03:16.540 We're not in a partnership.
00:03:17.460 We're in a relationship.
00:03:18.780 I lead the home.
00:03:19.220 Marriage is a business.
00:03:20.160 It definitely is.
00:03:21.360 But it's not...
00:03:21.780 This is where the problems come in.
00:03:24.080 We come in, it's 50-50.
00:03:25.440 No, it's not 50-50.
00:03:26.420 And I agree with that.
00:03:27.300 I lead the home.
00:03:28.460 But here we are.
00:03:29.260 Right, here we are.
00:03:30.320 I don't believe it's 50-50 ever.
00:03:31.580 I don't believe it, but this new generation set of men
00:03:33.820 is why a lot of the women are the way they are
00:03:35.900 with the feelings of wanting to be so independent
00:03:38.500 because the men are, like, so aggressive with...
00:03:41.240 Men are the new bitches.
00:03:42.440 Well, let me tell you why.
00:03:43.780 Well, because women ask them to be bitches.
00:03:45.820 And 80% of the single-parent homes are women.
00:03:49.580 And they're trying to raise these boys,
00:03:51.180 and they're raising them as feminine men.
00:03:53.120 You need to do this.
00:03:54.000 You need to do this.
00:03:54.580 Your grandma, your great-grandmother's like,
00:03:56.540 go out and find yourself a good man that can take care of you.
00:03:59.580 A lot of...
00:03:59.940 And when I say this, I know for you,
00:04:02.040 a lot of these women nowadays, their mamas are like,
00:04:05.060 you don't need a man.
00:04:06.280 You can be an independent boss, bitch.
00:04:07.680 And then what happens is you become 50, 60 years old,
00:04:11.260 drinking boxed wine, watching Netflix with your cats.
00:04:15.280 Talking about angel numbers and horoscopes.
00:04:17.560 I'm fine.
00:04:18.220 I'm fine.
00:04:18.760 But let me tell you something.
00:04:19.720 I'm fine.
00:04:20.320 I'm fine.
00:04:20.780 And then you come 60, you're like,
00:04:22.140 what am I going to do for work?
00:04:24.000 You can't retire.
00:04:24.880 You don't have $2, $3 million.
00:04:26.180 If they picked the perfect body at 60,
00:04:29.180 it would be the retire-only man.
00:04:31.440 Okay.
00:04:32.300 Yeah, there you go.
00:04:33.140 There you go.
00:04:33.940 I'm not coming at you.
00:04:34.940 I'm just stating what, as a man of high-value man,
00:04:38.120 when we're looking, we're like,
00:04:39.600 I talked, I had a conversation last night.
00:04:42.020 I talked to hundreds and hundreds of women.
00:04:44.240 I coach men and women.
00:04:45.480 I get these challenges.
00:04:46.480 I've helped marriages.
00:04:47.460 Now, I'm not perfect.
00:04:49.180 I don't know everything,
00:04:50.160 but I'm rarely in doubt because this is what I do.
00:04:52.160 And I see the challenges that some of the ladies and men have.
00:04:55.300 And a lot of these men are simping.
00:04:57.080 I get it.
00:04:57.660 They're simping.
00:04:58.560 And they'll come up, like Pearl.
00:05:00.260 Pearl was in a situation.
00:05:01.480 Watch this.
00:05:01.880 Pearl was in a situation.
00:05:03.100 A guy watched my podcast.
00:05:04.300 Pearl was on there.
00:05:05.500 He reached out to her, somehow, shape, way, or form.
00:05:08.520 And he wanted to date her.
00:05:10.040 And, like, soon as he met her, he goes,
00:05:11.820 I want to marry you.
00:05:12.740 It turned her off.
00:05:13.940 He was simping.
00:05:15.300 Thirsty.
00:05:16.040 Am I right?
00:05:17.040 Yeah, yeah, I did.
00:05:18.080 Wow.
00:05:19.280 And these guys, I say, men, stop chasing women.
00:05:22.980 Stop chasing women.
00:05:24.500 What value does a woman bring to the table,
00:05:27.000 I say, or to the relationship outside of sex?
00:05:29.840 What do you bring to the relationship outside of sex?
00:05:32.020 I'm fucking hilarious.
00:05:32.880 Dude, men don't want to date comedians.
00:05:36.180 They want to date models.
00:05:37.320 What?
00:05:38.260 If that was true, if men wanted to date funny,
00:05:40.940 if men wanted to date funny women,
00:05:42.780 I'm a funny-ass model, so what's up?
00:05:44.760 Chelsea, you're not that funny.
00:05:46.420 I also have a girlfriend, so y'all need to keep that into it.
00:05:48.740 Chelsea, well, yeah, I understand.
00:05:50.420 You're in a different relationship.
00:05:51.720 You're in a different relationship.
00:05:52.720 Yeah.
00:05:52.900 But, you know, for men, it's like they're not looking for funny chicks.
00:05:56.880 Otherwise, you wouldn't see all these comedians.
00:05:58.940 They're always single.
00:05:59.980 No, that's not true.
00:06:00.880 Have you seen that Asian comedian?
00:06:02.160 She just came out with a movie and she's fucking funny as shit.
00:06:04.480 You know what's so funny?
00:06:05.240 She was pregnant.
00:06:06.020 She already had that baby, I think.
00:06:07.040 Yeah, you know what's so funny?
00:06:08.580 It's like you have to bring up the exception whose name you don't even know.
00:06:12.020 You probably watch comedians.
00:06:13.120 Well, yeah, but, like, just think of Chelsea.
00:06:14.160 I can't remember her name, but I've seen the movie.
00:06:16.040 Chelsea Handlers, Byersel, all the big-name comedians are by themselves.
00:06:19.580 That woman is pain.
00:06:20.760 I still do think, like, as much as you can be as black and white with stuff,
00:06:24.460 I still think that men do choose you or fall in love with you or like you more
00:06:29.200 because of your personality and because of other things that you bring to the table.
00:06:33.480 Yeah, because they miss you when you're not around, not because you're fine.
00:06:35.940 I know women with perfect bodies, really nice bodies at that,
00:06:39.080 really nice bodies, tatted up, gorgeous.
00:06:41.060 I mean, the woman that all the men walk in the room and want,
00:06:44.620 and they still get cheated on.
00:06:45.540 Hold on, we have a man in the room, so I think he should get cheated on.
00:06:48.200 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I missed this.
00:06:49.540 That's just what they're saying.
00:06:50.840 What were you saying about the woman tattered in the room?
00:06:53.480 Say that again.
00:06:54.240 I mean, she could be tatted, she could be not tatted,
00:06:55.600 but I actually know women that are completely gorgeous bodies, beautiful faces,
00:06:59.380 intelligent, bring a lot to the table,
00:07:01.000 and they still are getting mistreated and cheated on and pushed to the side.
00:07:05.240 Look at Halle Berry.
00:07:06.280 Yeah.
00:07:08.020 Here's the stat.
00:07:08.700 Oh, I got no...
00:07:09.980 I mean, let me tell you, I met Halle Berry.
00:07:12.700 You want me to tell you about Halle Berry?
00:07:13.960 I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole.
00:07:15.960 That woman's like a dude.
00:07:17.620 Masculine, bossy as hell.
00:07:18.900 I love it.
00:07:19.200 And anybody who gets to that, just like Kim Kardashian,
00:07:21.340 oh, she's a boss bitch.
00:07:22.860 Dude, she's been through so many dudes,
00:07:25.000 her body count's higher than, like, the tax returns.
00:07:27.760 I used to hang out with Kim back in the day.
00:07:32.720 So, but regarding those high-value men, yeah, look at Kevin Hart, Jay-Z.
00:07:37.400 They all cheated, right?
00:07:38.620 But guess what?
00:07:40.360 She still stayed with him.
00:07:41.900 She still stayed with him, right?
00:07:43.600 So the question is, if you were in a relationship with Drake and married to Drake and he cheated on you,
00:07:47.340 would you still stay married to him?
00:07:49.080 No.
00:07:49.980 Why do guys get to have such a high body count and women don't?
00:07:54.280 That's my big problem.
00:07:55.460 And, like, I don't really.
00:07:56.700 Let me answer that one.
00:07:57.420 No, no, no.
00:07:58.400 Guys and women are different.
00:07:59.400 Hold on.
00:07:59.920 They get away with everything.
00:08:00.700 Hold on.
00:08:01.080 Or we can get away with shit.
00:08:01.880 Let me just finish real quick.
00:08:02.440 We get away with everything.
00:08:03.980 We're fat.
00:08:04.720 We're smart.
00:08:05.140 We're fat.
00:08:06.120 We're whores nowadays.
00:08:07.300 We're on birth control.
00:08:08.520 We get away with everything.
00:08:09.620 I don't really.
00:08:10.340 Like, I'm somebody who's been taking advantage of a lot,
00:08:13.760 so I don't really do the whole, like, super sexual thing.
00:08:16.740 Sure, sure, sure.
00:08:17.160 I don't have a lot of bodies up under me.
00:08:18.920 But I still stand with women, which don't judge a man,
00:08:23.160 like, don't not judge a man when he has a high body count.
00:08:26.140 But if a woman fucks who the fuck she wants because she can,
00:08:28.860 because she's a bad bitch, why the fuck you calling her a hug?
00:08:31.760 I don't like that.
00:08:32.700 First of all, you don't have to be a bad bitch to fuck a bunch of guys.
00:08:36.460 Any girls can fuck that.
00:08:37.120 You can be a mid-bitch.
00:08:37.780 Every girl in here can get on the phone.
00:08:40.100 I'm talking about the bad bitches.
00:08:41.580 I'm not saying that you have to be one to do it.
00:08:43.040 Right, but women, all you women right now can get on the phone
00:08:46.460 and have sex tonight.
00:08:47.440 Yes, right.
00:08:47.940 It's very hard for men to do that.
00:08:49.340 You can just walk out down the strip and be like, sex,
00:08:52.360 and then someone will come.
00:08:53.280 It's very hard.
00:08:53.760 You know what I'm saying?
00:08:57.260 It's very hard for men.
00:08:59.120 A lot of women don't believe this.
00:09:00.360 It's very hard for men to have sex with women.
00:09:02.120 I've heard men say that.
00:09:02.880 It's very challenging.
00:09:03.700 Let me explain something.
00:09:04.540 For you?
00:09:04.960 No, no.
00:09:05.320 10% of men are actually sexually active.
00:09:08.240 A lot of women think all these dudes.
00:09:09.660 And the 10% that are sexually active, they're the ones having sex with y'all.
00:09:13.900 You see what I'm saying?
00:09:15.140 Yeah.
00:09:15.300 So what happens is for a man to go out and have sex, for him to have access to women
00:09:19.440 and have options, he's got to be on point, high valued, have status, have swag.
00:09:25.000 He's worked hard to get to that level.
00:09:26.520 Now, to answer your question on why is it bad, when a woman gets past six men body count,
00:09:31.560 her pair bonding starts, her ability to pair bond with a man goes down to 25%.
00:09:36.640 Where did you learn this?
00:09:37.920 I read psychology books on relationships.
00:09:40.280 People have interviewed 10,000 people all over the world.
00:09:42.240 You have a specific number.
00:09:43.580 Yeah.
00:09:44.080 Let me explain something.
00:09:45.300 Your oxytocin levels go down.
00:09:47.120 It's hard for you to pair bond with a man.
00:09:49.020 The more men you've been with.
00:09:50.420 Actually, I can speak on this.
00:09:51.440 I'm sorry.
00:09:51.700 Okay.
00:09:51.900 But I'm going to have Pearl talk to you.
00:09:53.140 But that's a good question.
00:09:53.980 I've been fucking for 21 years.
00:09:55.020 You think it ain't?
00:09:56.000 But you're not with a man.
00:09:58.840 You have a choice, right?
00:09:59.740 Yes.
00:10:00.220 But to my point, you'll see women go through guys or go through relationships, have problems.
00:10:05.300 It's hard for them to bond.