JustPearlyThings - August 16, 2023


Pearl EXPOSES This About Male Nature


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

226.95056

Word count

2,647

Sentence count

311

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss if it's a good idea to have a guy friend in a relationship and if it should be allowed or not. We also talk about why women should or shouldn't have sex with their guy friends.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Here's my topic.
00:00:00.860 I want to talk about this.
00:00:01.780 We talked about this.
00:00:02.480 I'm going to go with Pearl first.
00:00:03.960 What are your thoughts of people in a relationship or dating and that guy's going to date this girl they've been talking and she says, well, I have a guy friend, but I'm not going to get rid of my guy friend and we're going to date.
00:00:13.820 I mean, girls do that all the time. 1.00
00:00:16.520 So what are your thoughts on that?
00:00:17.820 They probably shouldn't do that.
00:00:19.240 Why?
00:00:20.520 Because guys are always trying to fuck.
00:00:22.520 You know what I mean?
00:00:23.020 It's like they're guys.
00:00:24.920 But do you think that's an insecurity if a guy says, I don't want you to have your guy friend when we date?
00:00:28.380 Or is that a respect issue?
00:00:29.360 I think you should respect him.
00:00:32.060 So I think you're supposed to obey your husband.
00:00:35.040 So I think you should obey him.
00:00:35.880 So she has a choice.
00:00:36.660 She said, I won't date you because I want to have my guy friend.
00:00:39.380 So she has a choice.
00:00:40.260 What are your thoughts on that?
00:00:42.540 I mean, so here's the thing, right?
00:00:44.480 It depends on the nature of the relationship, how you're going into that relationship.
00:00:48.660 Because here's the deal with me.
00:00:50.020 Firstly, I'm not particularly looking for anything that serious at the moment.
00:00:54.100 Okay.
00:00:54.420 I tend to date around.
00:00:55.220 And even when I get.
00:00:57.360 Exactly.
00:00:59.360 And even if I was, you know, even if I was open to meeting somebody longer term, which I have been in the past or whatever.
00:01:06.320 But what I generally do is I let them do their thing.
00:01:09.480 Like you were saying, I'll watch what they do.
00:01:11.600 And then I make a decision on based on that.
00:01:13.640 If this is somebody where this could gel or not.
00:01:16.220 So if I was just randomly like kind of seeing something like hooking up with some girl and she's got a guy.
00:01:21.200 I don't really care.
00:01:22.120 It doesn't matter.
00:01:22.920 Right.
00:01:23.100 Okay.
00:01:23.680 If, if, but then if I was thinking, well, am I going to consider this, this woman as like a serious, something a bit more serious, like more serious partner.
00:01:29.880 Then I'd be thinking, well, hang on a minute.
00:01:31.720 This is a bit of a red flag.
00:01:32.920 No.
00:01:33.400 I'm not really, you know, I'm probably not into that.
00:01:35.980 Now, Lana, we can talk about this open.
00:01:38.520 Yeah.
00:01:38.640 I don't give a fuck.
00:01:39.000 So she, sure, they were in a relationship.
00:01:41.160 I guess you and your boyfriend just recently broke up because of this guy friend.
00:01:44.160 Seriously?
00:01:44.780 Yeah.
00:01:45.260 Were you fucking the guy friend?
00:01:46.140 No, it wasn't.
00:01:46.880 It, uh, no, never.
00:01:48.520 I've never had sex with any of my guy friends, but like when, when you get to know me, I walk around with a dick.
00:01:57.680 I really genuinely, like in my head, I genuinely think I have a dick.
00:02:01.740 So I'm one of the boys.
00:02:03.820 Okay.
00:02:04.280 When you get to know me, you'll see, cause even he says it, I'm one of the boys.
00:02:07.800 So I have a lot of male friends, not very many female friends because my female friends can't handle a joke. 0.96
00:02:13.880 Okay.
00:02:14.340 Like a lot of females cannot handle a joke and I joke too much. 1.00
00:02:17.000 So when I'm around guys, they're, you know, they tend to be like, I wouldn't fuck you.
00:02:21.980 So what happened?
00:02:22.980 Would that cause a relationship?
00:02:24.600 They wouldn't fuck.
00:02:25.680 They wouldn't fuck.
00:02:26.680 Hmm.
00:02:27.320 I disagree with that too.
00:02:29.120 You guys can disagree.
00:02:30.240 I actually, like, I can call him right now and be like, Hey, do you want to have sex?
00:02:35.980 Have you ever, have you ever done that before?
00:02:38.440 No.
00:02:38.640 Ask him to have sex? 0.70
00:02:39.760 No.
00:02:40.260 No, but don't hold on for years.
00:02:42.880 They will hold on for years.
00:02:45.100 You have to talk to him in a way that he thinks it's serious.
00:02:50.080 If you ask him if you want to, but that's the thing.
00:02:52.840 It's hard to do on a phone call, right?
00:02:54.260 Like you're going to call, Hey, do you want to have sex with me?
00:02:56.540 They're like, what are you doing?
00:02:59.120 You know, I was thinking, you know, we've been friends for so long.
00:03:02.560 Like, why haven't we dated?
00:03:03.800 I've always liked you.
00:03:04.920 No, we've never liked each other.
00:03:06.520 No, no, no, no, no.
00:03:07.160 That's what you should say to him.
00:03:08.160 But don't you have an emotional connection?
00:03:11.260 Me and...
00:03:11.960 Your friend.
00:03:12.540 Your friend.
00:03:12.880 Okay.
00:03:13.040 So me and my friend, I call him my brother.
00:03:16.600 He calls me his sister.
00:03:17.960 That's literally the dynamic.
00:03:19.280 I introduced him to Davric as my brother and he believed it until I told him it wasn't.
00:03:25.340 Well...
00:03:26.160 But you did.
00:03:27.360 This is my sister.
00:03:28.820 No, but...
00:03:30.900 Even still, you can tell when someone's not their brother.
00:03:35.280 You can tell.
00:03:36.400 You're just like, eh, it's a little flirty, eh, it's a little weird.
00:03:38.540 Troy, what do you have to say?
00:03:39.500 So it's a little flirty.
00:03:40.980 So it's a little flirty.
00:03:41.920 Never.
00:03:42.020 But you just said it's a little flirty.
00:03:43.600 I didn't say that about my relationship.
00:03:45.500 Oh, okay.
00:03:45.880 I said that about others.
00:03:46.920 So me and my brother are not flirty at all.
00:03:50.440 But is it possible that he's a little bit into you?
00:03:54.080 I'm curious.
00:03:54.820 What did you think?
00:03:55.760 Did he want to fuck?
00:03:56.800 Well, I just met him.
00:03:57.880 She said it was his brother.
00:03:58.400 I said, hey, whatever.
00:03:59.600 I mean, it took her word for granted.
00:04:01.260 But the point is, is that you had a phone call with him, right?
00:04:05.040 And he called and your boyfriend...
00:04:06.580 No, so this was another guy because I have multiple male friends.
00:04:10.680 That's...
00:04:11.040 That's the issue.
00:04:11.840 That's the issue.
00:04:12.780 No guy is going to want that.
00:04:14.760 No guy is going to want to be...
00:04:16.360 I don't mind.
00:04:16.500 But the disagreement isn't this.
00:04:18.060 The disagreement was, I said, she's... 0.99
00:04:20.180 And again, I'm not attacking Lana.
00:04:22.240 I was saying, for me, it's a respect issue.
00:04:24.520 It's not an insecurity.
00:04:25.580 But I also know how men are.
00:04:26.940 Yeah.
00:04:27.200 Right?
00:04:27.760 And I have a choice.
00:04:28.620 She has a choice.
00:04:29.280 We all have a choice.
00:04:29.920 But when I met my gal, she put herself in a position to say, you know what?
00:04:35.960 She didn't have... 1.00
00:04:36.560 She goes...
00:04:37.220 She moved, but she's like, these are guys I grew up from high school.
00:04:40.500 She cut communication.
00:04:41.720 She said, I don't want to disrespect you.
00:04:43.860 And I let her hang herself.
00:04:45.480 And she's going to hang herself. 1.00
00:04:46.380 But I don't have the insecurity.
00:04:47.520 But I know guys.
00:04:48.280 I'm a guy.
00:04:49.160 And we all...
00:04:49.900 I simped before.
00:04:51.080 I used to be that guy back in the day.
00:04:53.120 I hung out with the pretty girls.
00:04:54.760 Any guy has been there.
00:04:56.400 Dennis Rodman's ex-wife, the basketball player, was a friend of mine.
00:05:00.700 We kind of hung out as friends.
00:05:01.780 I simped.
00:05:02.680 I hung out with the opportunity.
00:05:04.480 And then as I got my game and my frame and my muscles and my money, and I figured the game
00:05:09.600 out, it's like, no, I'm not doing that.
00:05:11.760 And we can just hang out.
00:05:12.760 Well, first of all, I'm not referring to Lana.
00:05:14.980 Why do I want to hang out with you?
00:05:16.720 I'm busy hustling, making money.
00:05:18.380 I'm dating somebody.
00:05:19.280 We can be friends.
00:05:19.880 There's no value unless I'm having sex with you. 0.98
00:05:22.000 I don't want to hang out with you as a woman. 1.00
00:05:24.020 And so for me, Pearl's a friend from a distance.
00:05:26.380 We've went to dinner with my girl, with Pearl.
00:05:28.540 I will never disrespect her.
00:05:29.720 But at the same time, I'm not going to go, hey, Pearl, let's go hang out.
00:05:32.600 Let's go play basketball.
00:05:33.740 Exactly.
00:05:34.360 She's a woman. 0.82
00:05:35.740 I'm a man.
00:05:36.440 I got testosterone.
00:05:37.300 I wake up with a heart on.
00:05:39.180 It's like, Pearl might say, hey, what are you doing?
00:05:41.900 Come over and watch Netflix and chill.
00:05:43.720 I know what's going to happen.
00:05:44.740 I have never asked that.
00:05:46.040 She asked me the other night.
00:05:48.300 She goes, hey, I'm at the hotel.
00:05:49.920 I'm in my lingerie.
00:05:50.880 No, I'm just kidding.
00:05:51.480 My lingerie?
00:05:52.400 My lingerie.
00:05:55.460 She goes, here's my lingerie.
00:05:58.020 Yeah, that's her lingerie.
00:06:00.440 I should get lingerie with that on.
00:06:02.640 That'd be so funny.
00:06:04.860 That'd be so funny.
00:06:05.820 But not to disrespect Lana, but for me, I have a different standard.
00:06:09.100 And so it wasn't the guy as much as you're sharing intimate conversations with this guy.
00:06:13.880 And we're on a trip.
00:06:15.300 And he's calling you, hey, buddy, how's it going?
00:06:18.240 Oh, I'm here.
00:06:18.820 We're having a good time.
00:06:19.660 It just feels like I'm dating three people.
00:06:22.000 Totally.
00:06:23.280 Yeah.
00:06:23.760 Okay.
00:06:24.440 Hear me out.
00:06:24.860 Well, in women, we're just like talkers. 1.00
00:06:26.940 We just say things.
00:06:27.820 Sometimes we're dumb and we don't see the difference.
00:06:30.520 It took me a long time to learn the difference.
00:06:33.280 And I'm like, you know, it took me 30 years to learn that.
00:06:36.840 Yeah.
00:06:37.220 It did.
00:06:38.020 Yeah.
00:06:38.160 But the thing is like a lot of times we share private information about our relationship.
00:06:42.760 And I just think when you're sharing that with other men.
00:06:44.180 I do that.
00:06:44.780 I totally do that.
00:06:45.680 Yeah.
00:06:45.900 And so it's like it's kind of disrespectful when you're sharing it.
00:06:48.320 And I'll turn my guys, like my guy friends against my boyfriend.
00:06:51.060 Yeah.
00:06:51.320 I have a question.
00:06:56.860 Like, would you ever like change that if you felt like it was getting the way of you
00:07:00.160 of you getting a partner boyfriend long term?
00:07:03.300 To be completely fair, it's the reasoning behind that is because my my guy friends have
00:07:10.440 done a lot more for me than a guy a boyfriend has had has done.
00:07:15.320 Oh, do you want me to put the show up?
00:07:16.400 No.
00:07:16.580 No, and I understand like where you're coming from because, you know, I'm a tomboy.
00:07:23.080 So that's always but it's like I just think in a relationship, it's not appropriate.
00:07:27.800 Like, I just don't think you can like I don't think we grew up watching our moms and the wives
00:07:32.040 really have a bunch of guy friends hanging around doing favors for them.
00:07:35.640 And like there's one day you just wake up and realize everyone's trying to fuck you.
00:07:39.600 And I'm really confused how you haven't had that like realization yet.
00:07:42.880 Oh, I have.
00:07:43.760 That's the thing.
00:07:44.400 Oh, so, you know, they would.
00:07:45.440 Your guy friends.
00:07:45.920 Not my guy friends.
00:07:46.880 That's the thing.
00:07:47.460 That's where that's where you're trying to turn the you're trying to turn the story into
00:07:50.460 that.
00:07:50.700 And it's not that that is with other people.
00:07:53.240 But when it comes to.
00:07:54.740 But you've had some guy friends for a long time.
00:07:57.180 And you know, those guys, those guys, guys, I have had guy friends in the past that have
00:08:05.200 tried to fuck me. 0.86
00:08:06.920 Yes.
00:08:07.360 Yes.
00:08:07.940 No, but these friends that hang on, these friends that I have, the friends that I have
00:08:12.840 right now have never tried to fuck me. 0.98
00:08:15.020 And these are friends.
00:08:16.140 Like one of them has been friends with me.
00:08:18.100 No, they haven't.
00:08:19.580 They won't.
00:08:20.700 Okay.
00:08:21.120 And I know that for sure.
00:08:22.440 But either way.
00:08:23.140 But now you've broken up with your boyfriend.
00:08:24.820 Has anyone said, oh.
00:08:25.620 I didn't break up with my boyfriend over that.
00:08:27.820 No, but regardless.
00:08:28.920 But does anyone say, oh, come around to you, dog.
00:08:30.420 I'll comfort you.
00:08:31.320 You know.
00:08:32.140 Yeah, they're going to comfort you.
00:08:33.240 Yeah.
00:08:33.340 Of course, but that's the thing is, like, these are, these are, okay, my boyfriend doesn't
00:08:40.280 pay my bills.
00:08:41.240 My boyfriend doesn't live with me.
00:08:43.520 That's problem.
00:08:43.660 That's problem.
00:08:44.160 That's problem number one.
00:08:46.100 Well, you guys didn't live together.
00:08:47.160 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:08:48.800 It is not my boyfriend's responsibility to pay my bills.
00:08:51.860 It is not his responsibility.
00:08:53.040 But if you live, did you live together?
00:08:54.640 No.
00:08:55.500 Oh, okay.
00:08:56.020 That's what I'm saying.
00:08:56.800 Okay, so you don't live together.
00:08:57.920 Okay, wait.
00:08:58.520 That's not really, yeah.
00:08:59.600 We were together for two months.
00:09:02.740 Oh.
00:09:02.980 Two months.
00:09:03.860 Oh, that's totally different.
00:09:04.860 That's what I'm saying.
00:09:06.000 Okay, that's different.
00:09:07.120 So it's not like, it wasn't a, mind you, I was with this person for two months.
00:09:10.600 Yeah.
00:09:11.140 I've had my friends for 10 years.
00:09:13.380 For sure.
00:09:13.860 My friends were there for me when I was homeless.
00:09:15.540 My friends were there for me when I got raped.
00:09:17.100 My friends were there for me when I was getting divorced.
00:09:19.660 Yeah.
00:09:19.840 Like, it was, I was friends with them while I was married.
00:09:22.900 So these are people that are.
00:09:24.740 Don't play with that too much.
00:09:27.260 He's like, are you doing this?
00:09:28.280 I can't even go to the table.
00:09:29.600 I'm like, are you doing this?
00:09:31.460 He's like, are you doing this?
00:09:32.400 They're right out of his mouth.
00:09:33.520 I don't even.
00:09:35.000 Yeah.
00:09:35.440 I mean, I can sort of, I can sort of see both sides on this because I know for sure.
00:09:40.460 I mean, so here's the thing, right?
00:09:41.740 As a guy, I don't really, I don't really have female friends.
00:09:44.940 I've got a lot of women that I know that I'm kind of friendly with, you know, we'll have 1.00
00:09:48.500 a bit of banter, blah, blah, blah.
00:09:49.840 I'm not really, I mean, I was a little bit of Miami actually because I hang out with Zina
00:09:53.780 or I hang out with this girl Pixie and stuff.
00:09:55.960 But even them, they're kind of people that are sort of, it's almost work related in a
00:10:00.500 way.
00:10:00.760 You know, they're kind of people that I know through these shows and all that shit.
00:10:03.040 But I'm not like, there's no women in my life at all that I'm just friends with.
00:10:07.160 Like, oh, hey guys, should we go and hang out on Saturday?
00:10:09.180 But that's just me.
00:10:09.840 That's my, that's the way that I operate.
00:10:11.580 You know, my friends are guy friends predominantly.
00:10:12.820 But at the same time, there are certainly women that I know that I have zero sexual interest 1.00
00:10:18.140 in and we're kind of friendly.
00:10:19.420 And I know it's never going to, I'm never going to suddenly turn around and go, oh, I
00:10:21.980 really want to fuck her.
00:10:22.740 Do you know what I mean?
00:10:23.160 It's just not going to happen.
00:10:24.080 So I do accept that, you know, that there are these, there can be these sort of male
00:10:28.020 female friendships.
00:10:29.040 But as a guy, when you're going into a relationship with a woman, I would see it, I would have some, 0.99
00:10:34.900 I would have concern about it if I was going to get into something.
00:10:36.700 Yeah, because you don't see that.
00:10:37.540 Because you don't know it.
00:10:38.620 And also, just, just, just, even if you're not going to fuck them, there's something
00:10:42.000 about the level of intimacy that you might have with those dudes.
00:10:44.880 Which is an insecurity.
00:10:46.300 Well, which might make him feel.
00:10:48.120 Okay, but is it an insecurity or protecting one's investment?
00:10:51.360 It's him, it's him protecting one's investment.
00:10:53.640 Yeah, he's protecting one's investment.
00:10:55.040 Or maybe he should.
00:10:55.760 He should invest in me first, damn.
00:10:57.660 That's what I'm saying.
00:10:58.740 Well, that's what I was trying to get at.
00:11:01.520 Like, that's why I was saying, yes, I understand.
00:11:04.420 He doesn't need to pay all your bills, but he needs to show that.
00:11:08.620 He's showing enough of an interest in you that he is number one.
00:11:13.420 And you're going to make him number one.
00:11:15.380 And that's obvious.
00:11:16.960 And then he'll become secure with whatever else is in line.
00:11:20.420 Like, make him number one.
00:11:22.240 And listen to him.
00:11:23.660 Wait, what were you going to say?
00:11:24.440 Hold on, hold on.
00:11:24.820 What were you going to say?
00:11:25.860 I wasn't, I thought you said before he had to pay for everything.
00:11:29.080 But you kind of walked back on it.
00:11:30.560 No, I don't, I don't, no.
00:11:32.060 I don't necessarily mean.
00:11:33.760 Well, she doesn't even be with the dude too much.
00:11:35.180 No.
00:11:35.240 She's not, yeah.
00:11:35.900 And you're not living together.
00:11:36.920 It's a different type of dynamic.
00:11:37.960 Yeah, it's totally a different type of dynamic.