JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023


Pearl Exposes Women's Malicious Nature


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

215.6055

Word count

1,762

Sentence count

179

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about abuse in relationships and how to deal with it. We talk about our own experiences of abuse and how we dealt with it and what we would do if we were in a similar situation. We also talk about some of the things that have happened to us that we have dealt with in our relationships.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I've seen this guy for a long while and he's supposed to take me to shop and he didn't turn up so I went to his house.
00:00:06.560 But we used to hang out with all of his friends.
00:00:08.020 I was one of the guys.
00:00:09.560 And this lovely young lady, I've heard her.
00:00:12.300 I said, hi.
00:00:14.160 And I asked where he was and she knew me because she's always upstairs.
00:00:17.560 No, we're not upstairs.
00:00:19.760 And he just sort of like, and she climbed into bed and he was just.
00:00:25.080 And I was like, and you can see him trying to, I thought, you're already in bed with her.
00:00:28.060 Yeah, I could see him trying to diss him and stuff.
00:00:30.080 And I said to her, is that your man?
00:00:33.380 She said, yeah.
00:00:34.180 I said, well, hug him up.
00:00:35.580 Don't matter, whoever's there, you hug him up.
00:00:37.820 And she's like, hold, I said, hug him harder.
00:00:40.000 And she goes, would you like a cup of coffee?
00:00:42.040 I said, yes, please.
00:00:43.740 And she went downstairs and he said, I said, what do you want me to say?
00:00:46.980 What do you want me to do?
00:00:48.160 Because I'm not going to hit her.
00:00:49.100 Do you want me to knock you out?
00:00:50.440 I said, do you want me to scream and shout?
00:00:53.720 I said, I'm just going to sit here.
00:00:55.800 I think I had lunch as well.
00:00:57.200 I ended up being her friend because I would hang out with all the guys and all the guys
00:01:01.820 was like, nah.
00:01:02.560 When did you tell her?
00:01:04.120 Did you tell her?
00:01:04.680 She must be watching this.
00:01:07.180 I didn't tell her.
00:01:09.080 I was her friend.
00:01:10.900 I used to play at my mum's party.
00:01:13.220 I said, are you coming?
00:01:14.400 She said, no, he didn't invite me.
00:01:15.660 I said, you come.
00:01:19.060 How long does this go on for?
00:01:20.540 Until they split up, until.
00:01:24.400 Oh, stop.
00:01:25.320 Yeah.
00:01:25.840 You stopped anything with him?
00:01:27.520 Oh, no, straight away.
00:01:28.480 Yeah, I stopped.
00:01:29.400 But it was just fun to go there.
00:01:30.600 I used to go there when he wasn't there.
00:01:32.320 She goes, oh, he's coming home soon.
00:01:34.640 You know, I'm just popping out to the shop.
00:01:36.160 I said, I watched dinner and I thought, this is what you're having for dinner.
00:01:39.960 Yeah.
00:01:40.740 It tormented him.
00:01:41.720 Yeah, but I was nice about it and I didn't disrespect her, you know. 0.73
00:01:46.080 I think that's the best way to be.
00:01:46.580 And then one day I turned up and his whole car was covered in white paint.
00:01:50.960 I was just like, oh dear, what did you do?
00:01:56.380 But yeah, he deserved what she gave him.
00:01:58.360 Clearly.
00:01:59.160 Where did she?
00:02:00.140 Paint, he put all the paint all over his car.
00:02:02.340 Gloss as well.
00:02:03.860 Yeah.
00:02:04.480 You know what?
00:02:05.080 I don't have that in me.
00:02:06.200 I know some people have like ripped windscreen wipers off.
00:02:09.740 They've keyed cars.
00:02:11.140 They've done all of that.
00:02:12.220 I just, I feel like I don't have it in me.
00:02:14.020 I could be so angry and upset, but I just.
00:02:16.240 You do it in your head.
00:02:17.140 Yeah, I just do that.
00:02:18.220 Do you think if we flipped the genders that it would be the same reaction? 0.92
00:02:21.720 Like if I said, oh, I cheated on a guy and he put paint all over my car and keyed it,
00:02:26.740 like people would have the same reaction?
00:02:28.320 Of course not.
00:02:29.080 I think that's petty.
00:02:30.360 I think they expect the whole car to disappear.
00:02:33.400 Do better.
00:02:34.660 Yeah.
00:02:34.860 A man wouldn't do something like that.
00:02:37.240 You just come out of the car and be gone.
00:02:38.660 No, but it's.
00:02:39.340 If they want it to be petty.
00:02:40.600 It's just interesting because I feel like if it was the opposite, like if I said, oh,
00:02:44.520 he keyed my car and did this after I cheated, like it wouldn't result in people laughing.
00:02:49.100 You know what I mean?
00:02:49.720 Yeah.
00:02:49.920 Yeah.
00:02:50.220 I agree.
00:02:50.820 I think he's pathetic.
00:02:52.020 I think they think he's pathetic.
00:02:53.600 No, I think people would say that he's dangerous.
00:02:56.060 Yeah.
00:02:56.340 Yeah.
00:02:56.580 He's violent or he's unhinged.
00:02:58.500 Or abusive.
00:02:59.060 And police reports.
00:03:00.040 Yeah.
00:03:00.540 You think so?
00:03:01.000 Yeah.
00:03:01.500 100%.
00:03:01.900 Listen, women are protected species. 1.00
00:03:03.860 Soft.
00:03:04.480 I'll be like, I'm glad it was the car and not me.
00:03:06.900 You know what I mean?
00:03:07.620 Yeah.
00:03:07.980 But I just think the way people are nowadays, men are the villains in every scenario.
00:03:14.220 And anything that happens to a woman, if you flip it on its head and it happening to a man, 1.00
00:03:19.460 it's always worse because women are saints. 1.00
00:03:23.140 We cannot do anything wrong.
00:03:24.660 Do you think so?
00:03:25.220 We are perfectly.
00:03:25.900 No, I do not.
00:03:26.640 She said that tongue in cheek. 0.96
00:03:27.960 I can see her smile.
00:03:28.900 I do not think so.
00:03:29.800 But I feel like society, I just think conversations make it seem like that is the consensus.
00:03:36.660 Well, it's even like when we talk about cheating, like if the guy does it, it's always we demonize
00:03:42.440 him.
00:03:42.660 But if the girl does it, the first question is always why? 0.98
00:03:45.760 Like why?
00:03:46.260 What made her cheat?
00:03:47.000 Why did she cheat? 1.00
00:03:48.240 No, I would, I would say, I would always ask why did the guy cheat?
00:03:52.080 I always, I don't think that's a fair enough comment.
00:03:54.660 Do you think that's common when you see it on, when you see it on say TikTok, when they
00:03:58.300 tell cheating stories, it's always the, if you look at any cheating story on TikTok, if
00:04:02.160 it's a girl telling it the story of how she cheated, like they'll always say, oh, well,
00:04:05.680 why did she cheat? 1.00
00:04:06.420 What, what, what, yeah, but for the men, it's like, you know, if I say he cheated because
00:04:11.700 he hasn't slept, his wife hasn't slept with him in three years, they still make him out 0.76
00:04:15.360 to be the bad guy.
00:04:16.760 Okay.
00:04:17.000 Yeah.
00:04:17.220 Fair enough.
00:04:17.840 Actually.
00:04:18.360 I don't think you're wrong.
00:04:19.280 It's like, you know, one out of four marriages is sexless, usually on the man's part or like on the
00:04:23.820 woman's part. 1.00
00:04:24.660 Yeah.
00:04:25.300 Oh, wow.
00:04:26.340 Yeah.
00:04:26.480 One out of four.
00:04:27.280 I've known, I've known somebody been married.
00:04:29.100 It's really common.
00:04:29.880 Yes.
00:04:31.500 Yeah.
00:04:31.980 Oh, yeah.
00:04:32.700 I don't think I could.
00:04:33.500 It's easy to slip into.
00:04:35.160 Could you repeat?
00:04:35.560 When you have babies.
00:04:36.880 Nah.
00:04:37.540 When you look at it, no, I'm sorry.
00:04:39.060 It's easy to slip into.
00:04:40.220 I honestly, I just feel like when we have conversations about sex in marriage, like women have to be honest.
00:04:46.140 There are points in your marriage where you have to make an effort, where you have to look
00:04:49.880 at your husband and say, okay, he needs.
00:04:52.000 Take one for the team.
00:04:52.920 Like he needs me in this capacity and I may not feel like it for the foreseeable.
00:05:00.640 So let me avail myself in the same way you would want like your husband or your partner
00:05:05.800 to avail himself in whatever other scenario or even the same.
00:05:10.660 I just feel like it is not that uncommon for a woman to not want to have sex because when you become, 0.89
00:05:18.380 when you are a woman of a house, you've got a lot going on, especially if you work as well.
00:05:23.800 There's a lot happening and you have babies and stuff like that.
00:05:26.780 I just feel like sometimes, yes, like the wife is required to make an effort. 0.94
00:05:32.400 She's not always going to feel like it, but some women choose not to make an effort. 1.00
00:05:36.220 Some women are like, I will wait until I feel like it. 1.00
00:05:39.220 And you will wait until I feel like it.
00:05:41.220 Can I ask you a question?
00:05:42.560 So if you didn't feel like it, you still do it.
00:05:44.780 If he wanted to.
00:05:47.560 I just feel like my husband might be watching.
00:05:50.860 But yes, like I will, because he needs me in that.
00:05:56.660 Like I just feel like for men, it's not always I'm horny.
00:06:00.660 Like it's like their way of connecting to you.
00:06:04.460 They're like, they want to be close to you and they don't want to sit down and have a gossip
00:06:08.180 about what Naja did.
00:06:09.780 They don't want to listen to your like stories that you say is going to be two minutes,
00:06:13.560 but actually it's an hour and a half.
00:06:15.380 They want to connect like that way.
00:06:17.520 Like just sometimes you have to avail yourself.
00:06:20.040 Yeah.
00:06:20.440 You know, you watch one of my, sure you watch me on one of Pearl's podcast before Pearl.
00:06:24.400 No.
00:06:25.140 You remember the one where I said about the women?
00:06:27.120 What's your opinion, Auntie?
00:06:28.280 What if, what if she doesn't feel like it?
00:06:30.140 I was like, if she don't feel like it, you know, just like read the book, bend over and
00:06:34.540 just like, you know, watch TV, be on the phone.
00:06:37.480 But you know what?
00:06:38.520 Not always, because the fact of the matter is, is if you are with someone,
00:06:42.960 that person loves you and understands you.
00:06:45.740 So if you don't feel like it, there's going to be times where they're like, that's fine.
00:06:49.180 Yeah.
00:06:49.340 Yeah.
00:06:49.600 Leave you alone.
00:06:50.140 But then sometimes like you may not feel like it for like two months.
00:06:54.020 Wow.
00:06:55.180 That long?
00:06:56.540 Don't look at me.
00:06:57.840 Oh, that's not you.
00:06:58.660 Oh, that's not you.
00:07:00.060 I'm not telling my story.
00:07:01.600 Oh, right.
00:07:01.980 Okay.
00:07:02.540 Okay.
00:07:03.220 Okay.
00:07:03.900 It could be that.
00:07:05.580 Okay.
00:07:06.060 It might've had a baby.
00:07:07.200 It might've been traumatic, whatever.
00:07:08.640 So if you're having a baby, not talking about you, but just like, you know, if you was having
00:07:15.620 a baby, you didn't feel like it, is there other ways that you can please your man?
00:07:18.940 Okay then, just checking.
00:07:20.320 We all know there's other ways.
00:07:22.840 We're all grown unaware.
00:07:23.860 It's right.
00:07:24.660 No, because I said this before and I said that, you know, basically a woman shouldn't refuse 0.99
00:07:29.940 a man.
00:07:31.120 You know, her husband.
00:07:32.400 Yeah.
00:07:32.880 And a man shouldn't refuse a woman.
00:07:34.260 Yeah, exactly.
00:07:35.000 But for women, they want to make love for a man. 1.00
00:07:37.080 It's just like, give me five minutes.
00:07:38.420 Can I ask a question?
00:07:39.760 I don't think that's okay.
00:07:40.700 What happens if you're really angry at him about something he's done and he wants it right
00:07:45.420 there and then?
00:07:46.060 Like, do you do it?
00:07:47.220 That can resolve the anger.
00:07:48.540 What happened?
00:07:49.720 I'm not happy now.
00:07:50.740 Sorry.
00:07:52.080 We might as well have sex with a woman when she's angry. 1.00
00:07:54.840 We're looking at conflict resolution here.
00:07:58.000 What if you're so angry?
00:07:59.500 That could be better than counseling, you know?
00:08:01.260 I can't ever see me being so angry that I don't want to have sex with a man.
00:08:04.960 You've never had makeups?
00:08:06.700 Listen, that's the best kind.
00:08:08.720 Sorry, mom.
00:08:09.720 I'm just saying.