JustPearlyThings - August 04, 2023


Pearl Got Tired Of THIS BS


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

203.93578

Word count

2,159

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about red flags and what to look out for in a woman and what not to look for when it comes to a woman in a relationship. We also talk about the importance of a woman who is ambitious and a woman with a drive.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 red flag i don't think you went right okay um on first date yeah what if she says i'm
00:00:07.940 gonna go to the club throughout our relationship it's not happening that's that that was that
00:00:14.000 was my younger wild phase in my life now um now red flags would be um good question
00:00:22.860 somebody that's just not uh ambitious it has to be very ambitious um you want your woman to be
00:00:32.240 ambitious yeah what do you want her to be ambitious about just uh have like some type of self-drive 1.00
00:00:37.720 just want to do things like to be productive and even if she hasn't got like a specific thing just
00:00:43.520 like the want to go and learn or you know so positive positive positive yeah positive habits
00:00:50.640 so a lawyer red flag or green frat flag no that's a big green flag that's a green flag yeah she's a 1.00
00:00:58.000 lawyer i think that's like the biggest red flag i would tell i would tell men to avoid lawyers at
00:01:02.860 all costs really oh yeah they're just like feminists that argue for a living no i know i know a few 1.00
00:01:09.500 few lawyers they're not really argumentative but yeah if if argument breaks out though you know yeah
00:01:16.920 yeah bro in 2023 a lawyer really
00:01:21.500 yeah it's true maybe you got me
00:01:26.540 um yeah and they just indoctrinate them oh my gosh no you cannot do a lawyer i'm telling you because
00:01:37.600 they teach them all the abuse languages so they'll be like you'll they'll be like you you're 0.84
00:01:41.900 coercive controlling me that's a problem man it's all going down they teach them all this like
00:01:50.960 feminist stuff um will you ghost yeah you'll ghost if you don't find her ambitious what if she just 1.00
00:01:59.500 says she wants to start a family and she has no she doesn't want to work ever red flag or green flag
00:02:06.360 yeah that's a big red flag that's a red flag she just wants to start a family yeah she says i just
00:02:11.160 want to be i want to be a wife and a mother i want to have your babies oh i don't know um
00:02:19.500 no i don't think i could still do that you know she's gone yeah i think she's gone like i i want a
00:02:27.280 woman that's got that's got something she has to be able to there has to be something there 0.93
00:02:31.360 you know you have to have some type of drive some type of ambition pearl wouldn't wouldn't you say
00:02:35.960 though that that type of boldness is a little bit masculine what which one saying like this is
00:02:42.860 what i want i want wife kids well okay maybe not on a first date but not that early but you know me
00:02:48.960 being that forward of i know what i want this is what i want i want this from you no i don't think
00:02:55.000 so like i mean i don't know how you would say it maybe not in that way but like the women that i
00:03:00.220 know that got married young that were really traditional like they were all pretty clear
00:03:04.160 that they wanted to be a wife and a mother early like they weren't trying to waste their time
00:03:08.020 but i feel like they didn't have to like push for it as like hey this is what i want i feel it was a
00:03:12.560 little more just kind of natural you know what i mean um i mean i'm i don't know i don't know how
00:03:18.220 they said it i just know they really didn't waste their time with any guy that like didn't want to
00:03:22.060 get married what do you think about that dimitri i learned a lot like i learned a lot about women
00:03:27.140 from my wife because she's you know we're 40 so there's a little bit of self-reflection so i think
00:03:30.940 that brings a little bit of wisdom my wife said something a couple weeks ago that really made me
00:03:35.760 think a lot as we were just kind of hanging out and she's like i'm so glad that i don't like have
00:03:40.840 to go out like we can just sit here and like watch a show because we were sitting watching a show and
00:03:46.000 i was like do you ever miss going out no you were 22 she's beautiful you were beautiful you know
00:03:52.260 you were going out she's like i don't miss going out at all the pressure of it i'm like
00:03:56.680 and you know this is coming from a 40 year old woman so there's some some some looking back at
00:04:00.780 what pressure she goes you know how hard it is when you're 23 and you're going out to parties
00:04:04.840 trying to find somebody that could be your husband and i'm like i'm like you were going to parties
00:04:09.280 trying to find somebody to be your husband she's like why else would i be going crazy and i was
00:04:14.220 like and i was just like real i was like wow that's crazy like that might be a little bit of
00:04:18.960 retrospective like you know uh like fairy dust whatever but i i just didn't like really that's
00:04:25.400 why you went out she's like why else would i be going clubbing like of course like i'm there to
00:04:28.740 to meet a guy that's the right guy or i'm gonna go to a party or however else it was right
00:04:32.480 i thought it was kind of nuts mentally he's mad yeah
00:04:35.340 fane says very few career women leave masculinity at the door of the home and respect a man as the 0.78
00:04:42.360 head of the household this is why there is a rise of stay-at-home dads what do you guys think of
00:04:47.440 that stay-at-home dads yeah long long peak it's a woman's job it's a woman's job i would 0.55
00:04:54.740 it's a woman's job we're not yeah it is a woman's job to stay at home and look after the house look 1.00
00:04:59.240 after the children and like at the end of the day like i've not had kids but i know when if if i do
00:05:06.320 have kids and if i do it's a big if i don't really want children to be honest but um you don't want kids
00:05:11.840 i do and i don't i just look at society today and i think what the so so wouldn't that give
00:05:18.560 you more motivation to raise good kids yeah but fix it and it's not like like i i wouldn't just
00:05:25.220 have a child with just anyone like i'd have just anyone like the right guy yeah the right guy it
00:05:30.680 might be a bit different story but i don't think i've really met him yet so yeah i have to cross that
00:05:34.340 bridge when i come to it yeah have you ever have you ever had like a long-term relationship yeah
00:05:38.340 what was what was wrong with him i really hope he's not watching this um yeah what was what was
00:05:44.360 wrong with him we just grew apart really what was wrong with him he was a narcissist um no yeah he
00:05:51.860 was a major narcissist major major what did he do to be that was a narcissistic
00:05:57.120 what what was narcissistic yeah like what did he do like it's like so i would imagine if he's a
00:06:03.360 narcissist he must have been doing crazy stuff like i wouldn't say he's what you would call a
00:06:07.680 stereotypical narcissist like direct he's a special he's not like a direct narcissist 24 7 that would
00:06:13.920 sit there and beat you down to a pulp he wouldn't he wouldn't do that that but it's come across more
00:06:17.780 like patronizing if that makes sense like belittling okay i gotta be honest beating someone to a pulp
00:06:23.460 is not narcissism though i've been punched yeah but that that's that's that's not that's not what
00:06:29.740 narcissism means no narcissism being let me get the words out narcissism is when you don't really care
00:06:36.180 about anyone but yourself and towards the end at the first start of the relationship no i would say
00:06:42.340 i didn't see that i didn't see that at all but then when you start getting like six months down the
00:06:46.940 line or a year down the line and and you start seeing sides of someone that you thought you know
00:06:51.260 but are completely different okay like what so for example he has like i went to university
00:06:59.480 quite a lot and for me that was a big step in my life and it just like i don't know like it was just
00:07:07.240 never happy for me or say if i probably probably not the best of examples we're talking about like
00:07:13.460 say if i went out for my friends for one of my friend's birthdays but at the time obviously i look
00:07:18.500 a little bit differently now but at the time yeah i would see him as a massive narcissist because
00:07:22.480 he wouldn't he wouldn't let me go out for a dinner with my friends for example or but this is like
00:07:27.780 and he didn't like my parents okay but this is like all small like this is a crazy big big thing
00:07:33.920 because no it's really horrible to say i just don't know why like women women just call everybody 0.88
00:07:38.400 a narcissist you realize it's one you just done so many right it's one percent it's one percent of the
00:07:45.300 population is a narcissist so it's unlikely that you would even meet a narcissist much less a date
00:07:50.700 and so so the odds of you actually dating a narcissist is like slim yeah so i'd imagine if
00:07:56.400 you're calling him a narcissist there's like a diagnosis yeah which i don't i don't he had a
00:08:02.640 professional diagnosis no no okay okay so then i would imagine there was like some crazy things
00:08:08.280 yeah but now it's like he didn't want me to go to dinner with my friends yeah he didn't really
00:08:14.140 like my parents no he wasn't happy for me no i mean but i've had you know i sound like a narcissist
00:08:19.980 when you say something like that towards the end of the relationship some something really quite
00:08:26.120 drastic happened and obviously it's not really nice to talk about it's not a nice situation for
00:08:29.440 anyone to go to especially any female yeah that makes sort of sense what he cheat no no no he didn't
00:08:34.820 cheat but um i needed him there when it was probably the most important time in both of our
00:08:39.880 relationships together not just on an individual basis did someone die no no so not to that extent
00:08:47.100 no but so i basically i found out i was pregnant with him obviously i told him and then we were in
00:08:53.420 a relationship for about two years two and a half years at this point and that's it just we had a
00:08:58.780 rail and i just said i don't want to talk to you right now and you think i didn't hear from him
00:09:01.740 about four months five months oh he ghosted completely blocked me off did you were you
00:09:07.800 on birth control yeah okay so he probably felt deceived that's probably that's probably what he
00:09:15.020 like i'm telling you guys point of view no i can completely understand so i don't i don't think
00:09:19.480 that's a narcissist i think he was just like this bitch told me she was on birth control no no offense 0.99
00:09:24.660 you seem actually very nice thank you i use bitch sometimes it's not a you oh it's all right i've 1.00
00:09:29.160 been called worse than that i think my skin's a bit quicker than that so but but you see what i'm
00:09:34.240 saying yeah this just doesn't scream like narcissist to me and and he was very boring well oh girl
00:09:41.120 he was he was so boring are narcissists usually boring no but it's true it sounds so pathetic
00:09:49.380 isn't it it's so bad it's absolutely shocking no but i think sometimes as women we tell stories and
00:09:54.140 we don't even know how they sound of course we don't well us women we're all biased to believe
00:09:58.040 i think us as individuals anyone anyone man men and women are biased to believe their own stories but
00:10:02.740 women especially will tell themselves a story to try and make themselves feel a little bit better 1.00
00:10:06.140 about the situation and realistically just so many chicks say they dated narcissists and i'm like it's
00:10:12.180 one percent of the population you can't have all dated maybe not narcissists directly then but maybe
00:10:16.780 they would have shown or portrayed narcissistic behavior throughout them do you think you ever
00:10:20.920 have narcissistic oh without a doubt okay are you a narcissist i wouldn't say i'm directly a narcissist 0.62
00:10:27.100 okay but i have i can be i can have very narcissistic tendencies sometimes and i'll put my hands up to that