Pearl REVEALS The Dark Truth Behind DIVORCE
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
216.11209
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the importance of a healthy relationship between a mother and her child and how it affects their mental health and well-being. We also discuss the impact of single mother homes and how they can affect a child's mental health.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Just at one point, can we go back to like the mental health and well-being of parents in a marriage?
00:00:10.120
I think that happiness or well-being is really important for a mom to have as well.
00:00:16.580
So I think if they're not happy, that can be really damaging to the child as well.
00:00:20.800
And I think that's the reason why splitting up can be better.
00:00:23.580
I think that women should figure out how to be happy instead of leaving the marriage.
00:00:35.880
So I think if you say, he's making me unhappy, I think that's a lot to put on a guy.
00:00:40.960
I think you should figure out how to make yourself happy.
00:00:46.320
But making yourself happy might be to end the relationship.
00:00:53.740
No, you don't have to like go out clubbing and sleep with people.
00:00:56.380
Well, what else is she going to do if she leaves?
00:01:00.740
Like sometimes if you really don't get on with someone or you're really frustrated with someone,
00:01:06.580
And also, there's a lot of parents that stay together for the kids that damage their kids.
00:01:15.380
And like for me, Prince, if I was in a marriage and I had a child and we decided to split,
00:01:21.180
me personally, I wouldn't bring another man around that child.
00:01:28.760
Like, and it's easy for me to say because I don't have children, blah, blah, blah.
00:01:35.280
So, so, you know, the woman, the woman, um, she says, I want to be happy.
00:01:42.300
So most of the time she gets custody, primary custody of the kids.
00:01:47.080
Um, they're five times, the kids that are brought up in single mother homes are five
00:01:54.960
Ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances.
00:02:00.100
Twenty times more likely to end up in prison and 32 times more likely to run away from
00:02:05.720
We don't know when the mother and father like split up.
00:02:08.300
We don't know if the father is present in that child's life.
00:02:10.560
Of course, of course, if the father is not present, that's very damaging as well.
00:02:15.380
But like, you can split up and be amicable and see your...
00:02:19.260
And if the, if the number, so I'm doing a documentary on the court system here in the
00:02:23.060
So I actually know a decent amount about like men getting custody.
00:02:26.020
So if they're lucky, they get custody six days a month.
00:02:30.220
So only the men only get primary custody 10% of the time.
00:02:33.500
Um, and it's very, it's not common to get 50, 50 split.
00:02:37.080
So usually when the women leave, they take the kids and the men only get to see their
00:02:51.420
I think fathers need to understand that you have a big part and you have a, you have a
00:02:56.900
big place in a children's life and in the system, they like to portray that the fathers
00:03:02.680
are not important, but you are, you're just as much as important as you are, as you are
00:03:07.460
It depends what you bring to the table and how you are and, um, you know, your relationship
00:03:12.560
with your, your child and how you can provide and X, Y, Z.
00:03:15.420
So, you know, I've been through the system with, with, uh, my kids, you know, um, with
00:03:20.180
my daughter, actually, with my past relationship.
00:03:22.740
Um, and we have shared custody, uh, on the basis that I'm heavily involved and, you know, financially
00:03:29.840
and, and just spiritually, physically, I'm always involved and I'm, I'm catering to
00:03:35.020
my daughter's needs and, you know, um, but I feel like a lot of dads nowadays, they feel
00:03:41.720
that they don't have a voice or their voice isn't heard because, you know, as you said,
00:03:47.640
a lot of the time, the women, women empowerment, win the children over.
00:03:52.320
I mean, you know, as primary carers, but you know, you as just as much as a primary carer
00:03:59.260
It's 50% your DNA, you should have 50% custody.
00:04:04.080
Yeah, a lot of men, a lot of men don't want full custody.
00:04:06.760
You know, it's, it's, it's funny, um, there are a lot of times they'll use the stat, like
00:04:10.140
men don't fight for their kids or some stat like that, but, um, it, the system's really
00:04:16.160
So it's like the average guy makes what, 45,000, 35,000 pounds a year.
00:04:20.760
And the thing is, if he, so usually like if a woman goes to a woman's shelter, basically what
00:04:25.700
she can do is claim that she was abused and they get, then get free counsel.
00:04:29.520
And even the women's shelters, they know that most of these are like false cases.
00:04:35.000
So men can't, so like if the men have the children, can they not go to a shelter and stuff like that?
00:04:44.160
So, so the women, like they go to the shelters and basically like, so what the thing that'll
00:04:48.880
happen at the shelters is they all have these stories that they tell the women to say.
00:04:52.280
So if like he's from a certain culture, they'll say, Hey, say this, this, and this,
00:04:56.540
So like he, if he was like from, like I talked to one guy that was from India.
00:05:04.480
And the thing is, so now the crazy thing is, um, so in this period she can, um, implement
00:05:10.200
a restraining order so he can't even see the kids.
00:05:12.640
And so, um, when she does that, like, it'll take six months to a year before he can even
00:05:17.900
go to court to fight the false, like most of the time it's not a real abuse allegation.
00:05:22.320
And so then she goes, he goes to court and then it's crazy because she's coming in with
00:05:27.060
a lawyer that's free and he has to pay 20 to $30,000 to fight for his kids.
00:05:34.320
So he can either go in without a lawyer or pay 20 to 30,000.
00:05:38.040
Now on top of that, the past year he's been paying child support.
00:05:41.040
And on top of that, he's also been kicked out of his house usually because if they have
00:05:44.440
a shared house, she makes one call, he's kicked out.
00:05:48.900
Um, one guy I just talked to, he lost his job and his kids were a mile away and he couldn't
00:05:53.400
And now on top of that, he has to spend all this money to fight for his kids and maybe
00:05:58.720
get 50, if he's lucky, he might see his kids six days a month.
00:06:02.220
So a lot of guys will just say, like, I honestly think the single, like the deadbeat dad is
00:06:07.680
And it's a lot of like bitter women that are, but a lot of times people hear the woman's
00:06:16.020
Cause remember in the year, the woman's in the kid's ear saying, Oh, your dad doesn't
00:06:21.760
Like, and the thing is, I used to, I used to literally see it the other way, but remember
00:06:24.860
we always listen to the women's side and we always believe the women.
00:06:30.240
Was there this, because, because like I talked to the men on the other side of it.
00:06:34.300
And so like, and then on top of that, so let's say he fights, like she, and even if she's
00:06:40.360
proven to be lying, he, um, he can't, um, like she gets in no trouble.
00:06:45.200
And the thing about abuse is they have a point system now.
00:06:48.280
So the thing is she can say coercive, coercive control is abuse.
00:06:52.480
And that's, and that's like, literally if he says you can't spend $5,000 on my credit
00:06:58.740
And so basically it's like, if there's like a scale of 10, he just has to get to a six
00:07:03.760
and she could say, oh, he was financially controlling.
00:07:08.100
He said, I couldn't go to the club, which are all like reasonable things.
00:07:11.360
But like, she can go to court and say he was abusive.
00:07:17.800
And the thing is in court, it's not, um, about guilty until proven.
00:07:25.840
So basically like it's not based on a hundred percent fact.
00:07:38.440
Even if he, unless he wins, um, the, the court case, which he probably won't, she can also,
00:07:45.220
um, like, let's say the judge says, hey, six days a month, you can see the kid.
00:07:52.240
She can make another call and do it again for another year.
00:07:55.940
I think it takes a lot for a woman to go through that though.
00:08:04.360
You must think you're, yeah, there must be like quite a lot of beef to go to court because
00:08:11.560
Listen, I went to court with my, um, my baby mother, my first, yeah, my first child.
00:08:19.480
Do you think she was, do you think she was influenced?
00:08:29.040
And the thing is like the lawyers don't help the women's group because the law,
00:08:32.740
so you could go to a lawyer to get help and they're not going to help you because their
00:08:38.560
I was in court and most of the judges, prosecutors were women.
00:08:43.420
So they already looked at me and judged me, you know?
00:08:45.580
So already, I already lost the battle before I spoke.
00:08:47.740
And if a girl cries, they just like believe her.
00:08:52.040
Because then we have this culture, like believe all women.
00:09:07.020
So basically, it's a thing where like, I strongly believe that some women don't get
00:09:13.760
over their partners, you know, them splitting up for whatever reason, how they split up,
00:09:19.820
whatever reason, some people can't get over it.
00:09:23.000
So, you know, they use their children as a weapon.
00:09:26.780
So in a way where they want to punish you for hurting them in a way where I want you
00:09:32.620
to feel how I feel, but 10 times worse, you know?
00:09:35.360
So that's the evil side of a manipulation and also control.
00:09:40.560
So it makes the man feel that, oh, I have no access to my child.
00:09:47.100
So it's almost like I'm either with you and I see my child or if I'm not with you, I can
00:09:56.320
Because before you said that, obviously, I kind of realized that was a reason, but I
00:10:00.680
was thinking, why would I ever not let the father of my children see my kids?
00:10:05.400
There are some women that are very willing for the dad to see the children and they are
00:10:10.680
just rubbish and they won't fight for their kids.
00:10:13.080
They won't do anything and they're just whatless.
00:10:14.840
I think that's more, but the thing is too, I think it's the exception, it's not the
00:10:19.120
Because I think the whole, like the last 50 years, we've only heard the woman's side.
00:10:23.580
Like, because especially, like even, it happened to Kanye.
00:10:27.520
It happened before, like before our eyes, where he always thought his dad was a deadbeat when
00:10:33.900
That's the other thing, like there's no, like if the woman just wants to take the kid.
00:10:37.120
There's one guy that his baby, his ex-wife moved to Japan.
00:10:43.700
Japan, like there has to be something legal, like you can't move.
00:10:48.060
Like you said, it's very easy to say, oh, he's a deadbeat, but nobody understands the
00:10:57.680
As in like, you're not present, you're not doing anything, you let go of your child and
00:11:03.780
But, you know, a lot of the time it's a lot harder to be involved when you're so pushed
00:11:08.440
But many of you know I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:11:16.920
If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:11:21.460
Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.