JustPearlyThings - May 27, 2023


Pearl's Message To Politically Correct People

Topics
feminism beauty standards men women dating marketplace difficulties
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Pearl Wants This From Her Dream Man She Called DRAKE a Beta and GETS REKT

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

202.74

Word count

2,041

Sentence count

217

Harmful content

Misogyny

19

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about beauty standards, feminism, dating apps, and why men are more picky than women. We also talk about the fact that men swipe right on dating apps more often than women and why that matters.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Feminism, you know, with feminism, women say like, oh, I can do whatever I want, when I want, how I want, so like, you know, I can underdress myself. 1.00
00:00:08.460 No one should judge me for that.
00:00:09.960 And I think that it's a little bit too much.
00:00:11.800 But it's interesting because feminists complain the most about beauty standards, but it just seems like they care the least about them. 1.00
00:00:18.640 Well, wouldn't their view just be like, well, I don't have to bother because why would I let a man dictate how I look?
00:00:25.980 Yeah, but that's not...
00:00:27.860 Yeah, they'll say, oh, women have such high beauty standards. 1.00
00:00:31.100 It's so hard for women because of the beauty standards Instagram. 1.00
00:00:34.660 And, you know, while I can sympathize, it's like if we really cared, wouldn't we be more put together and way less?
00:00:42.140 Yeah, but I agree with his point.
00:00:43.460 I think it's because there's a lot of activists now in feminism and they're trying to prove that.
00:00:48.500 They feel like all women do what they do for men. 0.81
00:00:52.320 Some people do things for themselves.
00:00:53.960 Yeah, but because there's that lining of doing things for men, a lot of feminisms now are like, they don't want to do it just because they feel like it's doing it for a man. 1.00
00:01:05.520 Is it even such a bad thing, even if they were doing it for men, though?
00:01:08.980 Because, like, you get guys who work out because they want to look ripped for women.
00:01:14.420 Yeah, absolutely not.
00:01:15.020 So...
00:01:16.400 Yeah, it wouldn't be that terrible, to be honest.
00:01:18.660 Yeah.
00:01:18.840 It's like everyone wants to be liked in a way.
00:01:20.920 It's like, if you know, if you like someone and you want to, you know, wear something and you think it's going to be like, yeah, it's not like, no, no, I'm wearing this, just, you know, you want to feel good, but you also, you know, want to be nice for other people.
00:01:33.140 Yeah.
00:01:33.580 I think.
00:01:35.660 Whose beauty standards are higher, men or women?
00:01:42.580 I think it depends.
00:01:43.700 You have to pick one, pick one, pick one, pick one and tell me why.
00:01:56.620 I think maybe men have higher beauty standards.
00:01:59.860 I think.
00:02:00.500 Okay, why?
00:02:01.140 I think it's because they see a lot of women and they now begin to compare, make comparisons between different types of women.
00:02:07.100 And it's like, when they see a particular woman, look in a particular way, is they would compare another woman to the woman that they've seen.
00:02:15.080 But you think that men have higher standards for women, not that the men have the higher standards they have to live up to, just to clarify.
00:02:21.340 I think men have higher standards for women. 0.63
00:02:23.380 For women.
00:02:23.860 So like the women have higher beauty standards to me. 1.00
00:02:26.160 Yes.
00:02:26.880 And that's what's making women feel like they need to comply with these standards. 1.00
00:02:32.720 Who's pickier, men or women?
00:02:35.440 Men.
00:02:36.360 Definitely.
00:02:37.100 Yeah.
00:02:38.560 What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:02:43.320 When does, what, sorry?
00:02:44.220 What percent?
00:02:44.800 Yeah, what percent of the time?
00:02:46.240 Probably 70%.
00:02:47.340 Yeah.
00:02:48.460 Probably about 70, yeah.
00:02:49.640 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:02:53.580 I think about the same.
00:02:54.880 Do you know what?
00:02:55.580 70%.
00:02:56.020 I think women are more complacent than men. 1.00
00:02:59.820 Are more complacent?
00:03:01.020 Yeah.
00:03:01.340 I think they accept more than men.
00:03:02.740 Do you think men are very like, if they've got a certain standard, they're more rigid.
00:03:06.560 Men are pickier than women. 1.00
00:03:08.140 Do you think men are pickier than women? 0.99
00:03:09.540 A hundred percent.
00:03:10.300 Definitely.
00:03:10.580 Yeah.
00:03:10.920 Okay.
00:03:11.140 What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:03:15.220 70.
00:03:16.220 Or even 80.
00:03:16.960 I think it's a high percentage, 70.
00:03:18.440 It's really high.
00:03:19.460 I think it's a low percentage.
00:03:21.280 That men's.
00:03:22.260 So men swipe right 60 to 70% of the time, where women, what percent of the time do you think 0.68
00:03:27.600 they swipe right?
00:03:28.420 Oh, wait, no, sorry.
00:03:29.120 I think it's 45%.
00:03:30.140 I'm sorry.
00:03:30.820 I misspoke.
00:03:31.400 That's, it's about 45 to 50, not 60.
00:03:33.340 For men.
00:03:33.620 Yeah, for men.
00:03:34.800 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right? 1.00
00:03:37.280 Probably like 20.
00:03:37.800 Much less.
00:03:38.760 Yeah.
00:03:39.220 I would say like 10%.
00:03:40.340 70 to 80.
00:03:41.380 Maybe 30.
00:03:42.420 I don't know.
00:03:43.020 I would say 70 to 80.
00:03:44.500 What do you think?
00:03:45.280 Do you know this?
00:03:45.820 You have to know this stat.
00:03:47.260 Well, it is around that, isn't it?
00:03:48.300 Is it about 20%?
00:03:49.740 5%.
00:03:50.620 5%?
00:03:52.360 Yeah.
00:03:53.180 I was actually, I thought the male one was actually going to be a bit higher, to be honest,
00:03:57.220 because a lot of guys, well, not a lot of guys, but guys have sometimes have this strategy
00:04:00.900 before the algorithm started clamping down that they would just swipe on everything and
00:04:04.840 then see what came through, you know?
00:04:05.960 It depends what study you look at.
00:04:07.720 Yeah.
00:04:07.940 But how could you say that women are, that men are pickier if women only swipe right 5% of the
00:04:12.760 time?
00:04:13.440 Do you know why?
00:04:13.960 Because they're talking about the, they're talking about the top 1% men, aren't they?
00:04:17.080 Those top 1% men, those chads, they're really picky, but that's all they're bothered about.
00:04:21.640 They're not bothered about the other guys who aren't getting a look in anyway.
00:04:23.880 Yeah.
00:04:24.200 The top 5% of men, 10.
00:04:26.420 What, what percent of men do you guys think are sexually active?
00:04:30.160 100%.
00:04:30.520 Not with themselves.
00:04:35.740 I feel like it's not that much of a high percentage.
00:04:38.040 I feel like it's lower than women's, isn't it? 1.00
00:04:40.460 Yeah.
00:04:40.940 I don't know the percentage though, but I feel like it's lower than women's.
00:04:43.100 Yeah.
00:04:43.320 What percent of men do you think are sexually active?
00:04:45.820 70.
00:04:46.820 70%.
00:04:47.260 40%.
00:04:48.140 40%.
00:04:49.000 I'd say about 60.
00:04:51.440 I would want to say 102.
00:04:53.200 But I'm going to say 60.
00:04:55.220 60, yeah.
00:04:56.060 Me too.
00:04:57.560 Troy, do you know this stat?
00:04:58.800 How many men are sexually active?
00:05:01.900 God, I'm being very bad manners for a person, aren't I?
00:05:03.980 It's low.
00:05:04.660 It's low though.
00:05:05.160 Yeah.
00:05:05.520 I'm curious what, can you tell them a little bit about your experience like coaching men
00:05:09.940 and dating?
00:05:11.820 Yeah.
00:05:12.260 I mean, so I coach guys.
00:05:14.000 I mean, I create content.
00:05:15.140 I write, but I coach guys to get traction in terms of dating.
00:05:19.740 And the dating marketplace is very tough out there now for everybody.
00:05:23.060 But, you know, a lot of guys, they just really don't get a look at, you know, and I think
00:05:28.020 there is this misconception.
00:05:29.140 A lot of women think, oh, men are just, you know, that it comes as easily to men as it
00:05:35.920 does to women.
00:05:36.420 And it really doesn't, you know, because a woman basically, unless she's irredeemably 1.00
00:05:41.300 unattractive for some reason, can pretty much go out and probably attract somebody that
00:05:46.080 night.
00:05:46.440 You know, there's not a problem.
00:05:47.200 With guys, that's not necessarily the case, unless they happen to be either, you know,
00:05:51.420 top whatever percentile in terms of looks, or they have social status or they're famous,
00:05:55.140 you know.
00:05:55.620 So a lot of guys, and a lot of guys sort of who fall below that find it very, very hard
00:05:59.520 to break through.
00:06:00.440 And then when you add on top of that, a sort of a lack of social skills or a lack of confidence,
00:06:05.040 a lack of ability to sort of overcome some of the other difficulties they might have.
00:06:09.600 You know, there are guys who are really, really finding it very tough.
00:06:12.920 And we seem to be coming into this environment now where, you know, the rich get richer,
00:06:17.300 the poor get poorer in terms of dating.
00:06:18.980 So the guys who are at the top who are getting traction, they're getting more and more market
00:06:24.080 share, if you like.
00:06:25.320 And then the guys at the bottom are getting less and less.
00:06:26.920 And that's why we've got this issue of guys who are frustrated.
00:06:30.540 And there's, you know, there's sort of the insult thing online and everything like that,
00:06:34.040 you know.
00:06:34.620 So I think it's pretty tough out there for a lot of average sort of dudes, I think.
00:06:38.440 Like, yeah, one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.
00:06:44.860 Oh, wow.
00:06:46.360 So in here.
00:06:54.960 I don't know.
00:06:56.000 We don't know.
00:06:57.080 I'm not trying to get through.
00:06:58.420 I'm not trying to.
00:07:00.020 But so it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women, but
00:07:04.120 it's actually the opposite.
00:07:05.100 Women are much pickier than men. 1.00
00:07:06.380 I mean, think about out of every 10 men, how many are you really attracted to?
00:07:10.680 Is anyone here, would you, anyone here say that they're not picky?
00:07:14.840 I'm picky.
00:07:15.780 I'm definitely picky.
00:07:17.040 I think I've become picky over time.
00:07:20.880 So then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to? 1.00
00:07:26.960 Haven't you heard women say they won't date short men? 0.99
00:07:29.380 Would any of you date a guy shorter than them?
00:07:31.760 No.
00:07:32.780 I feel like I'm not quite short as it is.
00:07:34.800 So two inches shorter than you, any of you doing it?
00:07:38.920 No.
00:07:39.720 And I like to wear heels, so it's not going to work out.
00:07:41.680 Yeah.
00:07:42.520 Exactly.
00:07:43.160 It's not working out.
00:07:47.380 I think it is tougher for guys.
00:07:48.700 I think looks-wise, it has got tougher for guys.
00:07:50.580 And I think, you know, maybe you could say, well, we've had it coming because the guys
00:07:54.120 were sort of like for a long time.
00:07:55.380 The looks focus was very much on women.
00:07:58.940 But I think now, very much on guys, really.
00:08:02.120 You know, again, look through Instagram, dudes with six packs, chiseled, you know, features,
00:08:07.180 all the rest of it.
00:08:08.400 And the way that social media has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has
00:08:13.620 meant that women are now looking at these apps and they're looking at all these like top 0.99
00:08:16.120 guys, you know, top percentile guys are like, oh, that guy's super hot.
00:08:19.480 And then the bloke who doesn't have those attributes doesn't measure up.
00:08:23.120 So she's thinking, well, I want this guy at the top.
00:08:25.340 So now guys are being encouraged to level up, you know, which is not altogether a bad
00:08:30.860 thing, right?
00:08:31.320 Because self-improvement is good for everybody.
00:08:32.860 You know, we should all be doing what we can do to improve ourselves every day, right?
00:08:35.820 But at the same time, I think it has got tougher for guys.
00:08:38.560 And then in a society like here, like in the UK, there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty
00:08:43.700 and, you know, and they will, they, they will drop their standards, you know?
00:08:49.940 Yeah.
00:08:50.460 Yeah.
00:08:52.060 Sad.
00:08:53.400 How, so do you ever teach guys to like cold approach women?
00:08:57.460 Yeah, absolutely.
00:08:58.260 Yeah.
00:08:58.600 Yeah.
00:08:58.880 And what percent of women are receptive would you say to, I mean, like you've been doing
00:09:03.860 this forever, right?
00:09:04.800 Yeah.
00:09:05.200 But there's someone that hasn't.
00:09:06.900 Um, it, like he has to go through how many girls to get a number.
00:09:11.420 It depends.
00:09:13.200 Usual caveats.
00:09:13.960 It depends where it is.
00:09:14.800 You know, there are certain places, like if you're in like Latin America, it's a lot 1.00
00:09:17.800 more people are maybe Italy as well.
00:09:19.400 Actually.
00:09:19.640 I don't know.
00:09:20.540 I don't, I maybe not, but you know, Latin culture is a bit more like open.
00:09:23.600 Yeah.
00:09:23.860 They play the card, like, you know, Latin lover. 0.88
00:09:26.140 Yeah.
00:09:26.400 But I don't know.
00:09:27.040 I think it's difficult though.
00:09:28.300 Like, but to want, yeah, yeah, it is.
00:09:31.400 But to answer the question, um, you, you have to be prepared to go through a lot of rejection,
00:09:35.360 you know, like if you're an average guy and you're, you're going to talk to a woman in 0.86
00:09:40.080 a coffee shop or a, you know, a bar or bookstore or the grocery store, whatever it is, you know,
00:09:45.180 you are going to go through, through rejection.
00:09:47.020 Um, in fact, rejection is, is the rule and the exception really is to get, is to get accepted,
00:09:53.320 but that's okay.
00:09:53.980 You know, it's a question of accepting that being okay with that, being confident and
00:09:58.260 working on yourself every day in order to be the best possible man that you can be.
00:10:02.540 Um, but yeah, a lot of rejection.