JustPearlyThings - August 15, 2023


Pearl SAVAGELY Said THIS About Emotional Men


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

208.38383

Word count

2,464

Sentence count

82

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

20

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode we talk about how men should be more open with their emotions and how to show them in a more authentic way. We also talk about the importance of emotional expression in men and the stigma around it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What do you guys think the biggest thing
00:00:01.880 that men don't understand about women is
00:00:04.620 and that women don't understand about men? 0.98
00:00:07.380 Ooh.
00:00:10.880 Maybe I feel like I, as a woman,
00:00:14.740 don't understand how men portray their emotions.
00:00:20.120 I find it hard to, like, if there was, like,
00:00:22.720 I don't know how to explain it.
00:00:24.860 Like, wait, come back to me.
00:00:27.340 I need to word it in my head
00:00:28.520 before I actually say it out loud.
00:00:30.380 Is it sometimes, like, you don't understand?
00:00:33.060 Like, does your boyfriend do something where...
00:00:34.660 No, no, no.
00:00:35.300 So, like, you've got to come back to me.
00:00:39.560 I need to word it.
00:00:40.280 I need to word it.
00:00:40.860 I need to word it.
00:00:41.520 That's fine.
00:00:42.940 Yeah, sorry to cut you.
00:00:44.260 So, when you were saying that,
00:00:45.960 I was kind of thinking,
00:00:46.740 rah, I know she's going to say something
00:00:47.940 about what men being upset and showing their emotions.
00:00:50.620 Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:00:52.120 I feel like you're with me.
00:00:53.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:00:53.900 I can see where you're going with it still.
00:00:55.300 And that's something what I would have said as well,
00:00:57.640 like, in life.
00:00:58.960 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:59.360 Men tend to not, you know, show their emotions.
00:01:02.540 As much as women. 0.94
00:01:03.100 It's the alpha thing.
00:01:04.020 Yeah.
00:01:04.380 In a guy.
00:01:04.960 Yeah.
00:01:05.360 But I think women like a guy to be more open 1.00
00:01:08.280 and show them their emotions.
00:01:09.900 Yeah, yeah.
00:01:10.340 You know what I'm saying?
00:01:10.840 But I think as men,
00:01:11.860 I think as how we grew, innit,
00:01:13.320 some men don't grow with their dads.
00:01:14.920 Yeah.
00:01:15.300 Had mummy around.
00:01:16.240 Yeah.
00:01:16.540 So, man had to take that role
00:01:17.720 and be in the stronger person.
00:01:19.700 Do you know what I mean?
00:01:19.980 Yeah.
00:01:20.200 So, if dad was around
00:01:21.980 and man was seeing man upset,
00:01:23.560 then man might be a bit more open.
00:01:25.060 But I don't know.
00:01:26.140 My circumstance was different.
00:01:27.340 My dad weren't around.
00:01:28.260 Yeah.
00:01:28.560 I understand.
00:01:28.900 But my dad was there.
00:01:29.860 Yeah.
00:01:30.240 Do you know what I mean?
00:01:30.640 But my dad passed away
00:01:32.040 during so-and-so, I can't say.
00:01:34.980 But, yeah, that.
00:01:36.220 And after that, it's like,
00:01:38.800 rah, I never had a relationship with him,
00:01:40.000 but I still remember my dad
00:01:41.620 and I remember all the things.
00:01:42.660 But I wish he maybe was there
00:01:44.340 at the start with my growing
00:01:45.820 because it might have made me
00:01:47.200 a different guy now.
00:01:48.300 He taught you things you didn't know.
00:01:49.000 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:01:49.840 And the one thing was emotions
00:01:51.880 because a lot of us
00:01:53.240 keep boiling it up
00:01:54.380 and we get angry
00:01:55.120 and we don't want to show it
00:01:56.500 because we feel weak.
00:01:57.780 Yeah.
00:01:58.100 You know what I mean?
00:01:58.400 But it's not a dickheading
00:01:59.800 to cry, you understand?
00:02:01.380 Or to be open
00:02:02.860 and show your emotions.
00:02:04.700 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:05.560 I've had to learn the hard way
00:02:06.860 in life with certain things anyway.
00:02:08.400 So, I'm only talking from myself.
00:02:10.580 Do you know what I mean?
00:02:10.940 I was one of those guys
00:02:12.580 who built up the anger
00:02:14.180 and wanted to just let it out
00:02:15.720 with bare shouting and script
00:02:16.860 but not crying.
00:02:17.900 But then I learned
00:02:18.840 that crying is another healing.
00:02:20.800 It's natural, yeah.
00:02:21.640 It's a healing.
00:02:22.400 I feel like people like you
00:02:23.980 coming and talking about
00:02:25.380 emotions being so acceptable
00:02:27.580 in men is really important
00:02:28.780 and I feel like it is,
00:02:30.800 you're so right,
00:02:31.760 like there's such a stigma
00:02:32.980 around men having,
00:02:35.500 like being able to be emotional
00:02:37.220 or have like down days
00:02:40.060 or, but I feel like now
00:02:41.820 there's more and more positive
00:02:43.300 role models coming out
00:02:44.560 and who are kind of supporting that.
00:02:46.480 I think there should be
00:02:47.440 a stigma around men
00:02:48.680 being emotional.
00:02:49.680 Yeah.
00:02:50.060 You know what?
00:02:50.780 Yeah, yeah, I have to.
00:02:52.160 Because I think we need
00:02:53.100 strong men in society.
00:02:54.140 Do you know what?
00:02:54.620 I'm not saying like boil it up
00:02:56.240 and don't talk to anybody
00:02:57.240 but I actually like don't think
00:02:59.000 men should be overly emotional,
00:03:00.460 especially to women
00:03:01.140 because women I feel like 0.83
00:03:01.940 don't like it long term.
00:03:02.800 Do you know, it's good.
00:03:03.620 You know, so let me just cut
00:03:04.800 and I was going to say something
00:03:05.640 like conscious to what you say
00:03:07.640 and that I think
00:03:08.440 definitely in this day and age
00:03:09.920 a lot of men
00:03:10.480 who've been like
00:03:11.380 just brought up
00:03:12.300 by their mothers,
00:03:13.140 single parents,
00:03:14.040 by their mums.
00:03:14.980 Like they're very emotional.
00:03:17.300 And they've got
00:03:18.020 like feminine traits 0.99
00:03:20.100 because obviously
00:03:20.840 they're getting bang up.
00:03:22.360 By them.
00:03:22.760 Yeah.
00:03:23.220 So even when you were saying
00:03:23.980 about the man,
00:03:25.760 obviously I know
00:03:26.440 that's new school business
00:03:27.960 to me,
00:03:28.340 like man making accounts
00:03:29.480 to hit.
00:03:31.120 Yeah, that's adulting.
00:03:32.300 And I'm thinking,
00:03:32.880 but that's kind of girl business. 0.67
00:03:34.120 To me in my head,
00:03:34.700 I'm thinking that's girly business.
00:03:35.700 It is.
00:03:35.840 But that's nowadays
00:03:37.780 mans are doing 1.00
00:03:38.900 all these kind of girly
00:03:40.680 antics.
00:03:41.720 I agree with Pearl on that one.
00:03:43.560 Do you not think
00:03:43.840 you can still be
00:03:44.580 really, really masculine
00:03:45.580 but just be like
00:03:46.880 open to being
00:03:48.280 a little bit
00:03:49.400 in touch with your emotions
00:03:50.440 as well?
00:03:51.500 Yeah, but then
00:03:52.260 I mean,
00:03:53.360 it's a weird one
00:03:54.660 because masculine
00:03:55.320 Well, yes,
00:03:57.180 if you're being
00:03:57.960 like masculine 0.97
00:03:59.480 and men
00:04:00.700 and old school men
00:04:01.640 it's not really
00:04:03.520 showing your emotions
00:04:04.460 like that
00:04:05.020 because that's just
00:04:05.840 a man.
00:04:06.580 It doesn't mean
00:04:07.160 you need to be
00:04:07.620 like wearing your heart
00:04:08.340 in your sleep
00:04:08.740 all the time
00:04:09.580 but like
00:04:10.140 just being okay
00:04:11.480 with not being okay.
00:04:12.960 I think society
00:04:15.360 brainwashes men 0.63
00:04:16.520 to be women. 0.70
00:04:17.900 And I think
00:04:18.540 we always
00:04:19.060 like it's really weird
00:04:20.540 because once you see this
00:04:21.360 you can't unsee it.
00:04:22.120 It's always like
00:04:22.620 the feminine way 0.65
00:04:23.640 to do things
00:04:24.180 is always assumed
00:04:24.880 to be right.
00:04:26.100 So like how women 1.00
00:04:27.040 deal with problems
00:04:28.040 that's like assumed
00:04:28.780 to be correct
00:04:29.560 in society
00:04:30.140 like crying,
00:04:30.900 being emotional
00:04:31.460 like that's assumed
00:04:32.220 to be the right way
00:04:33.180 to deal with it.
00:04:34.180 So it's like
00:04:34.580 we have a generation
00:04:35.360 of men
00:04:35.940 that have been told
00:04:36.880 to be women
00:04:37.700 where and it's like
00:04:38.800 it's really
00:04:39.780 because the psychologists
00:04:40.880 are mostly women
00:04:41.920 the teachers
00:04:42.940 are mostly women
00:04:43.880 so it's like
00:04:44.440 they raise men 0.74
00:04:45.540 to be women
00:04:46.280 but like the way men
00:04:47.580 usually dealt with problems
00:04:48.880 at least historically
00:04:49.540 was aggression
00:04:50.120 but like aggression
00:04:51.360 is seen as bad
00:04:52.260 like men fighting
00:04:53.040 in the schoolyard
00:04:53.620 that's seen
00:04:53.960 as like a negative thing.
00:04:55.140 I like you poorly man
00:04:56.780 but you know
00:04:57.800 they paint people
00:05:00.260 that talk for themselves
00:05:02.040 that have got confidence
00:05:02.900 as a toxic trait
00:05:04.260 as well
00:05:05.060 in like social media
00:05:06.060 people that are confident
00:05:07.720 and talk up
00:05:09.160 and have their opinions
00:05:10.380 and have their
00:05:10.960 strong viewpoints
00:05:12.100 they create
00:05:12.640 that kind of guy
00:05:13.620 as toxic
00:05:14.380 do you know what I mean?
00:05:14.980 so yeah
00:05:15.820 cocky
00:05:16.300 arrogant
00:05:16.680 toxic
00:05:17.160 so a lot of
00:05:17.840 a lot of guys
00:05:18.680 don't
00:05:19.340 are scared
00:05:20.460 to be on true self
00:05:21.260 because they're scared
00:05:21.720 to get cancelled
00:05:22.300 because they're getting cancelled
00:05:23.120 women love cocky 1.00
00:05:24.760 toxic men
00:05:25.520 and I promise you
00:05:26.260 from doing these shows
00:05:27.320 oh I promise you
00:05:28.320 it's always like
00:05:29.460 the girl
00:05:29.800 like sometimes
00:05:30.420 like a girl 0.67
00:05:31.080 will be arguing
00:05:31.780 with a guy
00:05:32.260 and saying he's wrong
00:05:33.060 the whole show
00:05:33.680 but after she's flirting 0.93
00:05:34.720 with him
00:05:35.160 and I'm like
00:05:35.640 and so it's like
00:05:38.560 it's like
00:05:39.200 like girls say 0.99
00:05:40.260 they don't like those traits
00:05:41.380 but I think
00:05:41.900 they genuinely do
00:05:42.940 people like confident people
00:05:44.320 yeah
00:05:44.620 100%
00:05:45.200 yeah
00:05:45.720 if you're confident
00:05:46.420 people are going to like that
00:05:47.740 and you know what I think
00:05:48.900 with this whole emotion thing
00:05:50.080 these are
00:05:50.660 everyone's just overly emotional
00:05:52.580 yeah
00:05:52.960 way too
00:05:53.640 yeah
00:05:54.120 but
00:05:54.700 me I
00:05:55.740 it's about keeping your emotions
00:05:57.760 in check
00:05:58.240 balance
00:05:58.720 not being too overly happy
00:06:00.260 or too overly sad
00:06:01.340 you know what I mean
00:06:01.580 having that
00:06:02.180 yeah it's just about balance
00:06:03.440 yeah
00:06:03.780 that's where I find it
00:06:05.420 and again
00:06:06.100 a lot of men
00:06:06.740 are going on to
00:06:07.620 fair enough
00:06:08.260 women are more emotional 1.00
00:06:09.660 we know this
00:06:10.380 but nowadays
00:06:11.360 a lot of men
00:06:12.100 are going over
00:06:13.540 to that emotional side
00:06:14.600 as well
00:06:14.920 to me man
00:06:16.800 needs to kind of
00:06:17.700 pull back
00:06:18.040 I think you can be emotional
00:06:19.080 without being feminine 1.00
00:06:20.000 though
00:06:20.760 as a man
00:06:21.460 like you can be a little bit
00:06:22.860 you can just be
00:06:23.500 like accept them
00:06:24.800 move on
00:06:25.360 deal with it in your way
00:06:26.300 without having to like
00:06:27.140 block it out
00:06:27.740 and hide it
00:06:28.380 or be feminine
00:06:29.320 I don't know
00:06:30.580 like a lot of
00:06:31.440 some of these emotions
00:06:32.600 they don't really
00:06:34.780 benefit or help
00:06:36.600 situations
00:06:37.400 and that's why
00:06:38.040 as a man
00:06:39.080 we're not really
00:06:40.700 that emotional
00:06:41.160 because it doesn't
00:06:41.820 make that much difference
00:06:42.740 how would being emotional
00:06:44.180 help a man survive
00:06:45.240 historically
00:06:45.900 it won't
00:06:47.160 it won't
00:06:47.520 exactly
00:06:47.900 it won't
00:06:49.200 it's going to get you
00:06:49.740 in trouble
00:06:50.080 for anything
00:06:50.640 I don't agree to a stent
00:06:53.200 I hear what you man
00:06:54.240 are saying
00:06:54.580 I won't personally
00:06:56.360 say being emotional
00:06:57.400 when I was saying
00:06:58.100 being emotional
00:06:58.640 is be emotional
00:06:59.780 around everyone
00:07:00.680 there's certain people
00:07:01.860 to be emotional
00:07:02.580 around
00:07:02.880 do you feel me
00:07:03.680 like if it's my brother
00:07:04.840 my family
00:07:05.420 people I'm close to me
00:07:06.860 they can see that
00:07:07.920 I'm not saying cry
00:07:08.800 around everyone
00:07:09.360 I'm not trying to tell
00:07:10.160 them I'm be a baby
00:07:10.860 do you understand
00:07:11.660 I'm just saying
00:07:12.720 with the emotional thing
00:07:13.840 you've got to know
00:07:14.800 who and who
00:07:15.280 you're being emotional
00:07:16.060 around
00:07:16.340 so I hear what
00:07:17.280 Pearlie's saying
00:07:17.740 about yeah
00:07:18.320 I feel like they
00:07:19.240 should put a stigma
00:07:19.860 in it
00:07:20.080 but I get you
00:07:21.000 but at the same time
00:07:22.460 if the man
00:07:23.120 ain't showing their
00:07:23.960 emotions
00:07:24.360 when are you going
00:07:25.640 to then
00:07:26.000 when someone's dead
00:07:27.020 or when something's
00:07:28.080 happening
00:07:28.160 exactly
00:07:28.460 that's right
00:07:29.020 that's not life
00:07:31.160 but it's always been life
00:07:32.900 to be honest
00:07:33.760 if we look at humans
00:07:35.760 throughout history
00:07:36.520 from an evolutionary
00:07:38.240 perspective
00:07:38.940 10% of our ancestors
00:07:41.780 before
00:07:42.400 what's it called
00:07:43.320 in the hunter-gatherer days
00:07:44.800 literally died
00:07:45.460 from murder
00:07:46.580 so how would being emotional
00:07:48.000 help you survive
00:07:48.720 back then
00:07:49.120 when 10% of the people
00:07:50.020 were dying from murder
00:07:50.860 isn't that crazy
00:07:51.680 so it's like
00:07:52.940 men don't have any 0.99
00:07:53.980 biological reason
00:07:54.860 to be emotional
00:07:55.640 so again
00:07:56.340 we're women 1.00
00:07:56.800 we have a biological
00:07:57.640 reason to be emotional
00:07:58.760 because
00:07:59.100 if we bonded
00:08:01.780 with the guy
00:08:02.600 then we would get
00:08:04.240 his resources
00:08:04.960 so we have
00:08:05.700 biological reasons
00:08:06.660 why we're more
00:08:07.300 emotional than men
00:08:08.260 where men don't 0.93
00:08:09.260 so
00:08:09.500 and while
00:08:11.080 we are in 2023
00:08:12.120 and it is like
00:08:12.760 a modern world
00:08:13.420 we don't get rid
00:08:14.080 of our biology
00:08:14.800 so by encouraging
00:08:15.880 men to be emotional
00:08:16.720 it's like we're
00:08:17.180 encouraging men
00:08:17.900 to be women
00:08:18.540 wow
00:08:19.540 no
00:08:20.000 I don't agree
00:08:20.800 I don't believe
00:08:21.360 that's what I'm saying
00:08:22.160 that's what I don't
00:08:23.520 you know why
00:08:24.460 I can't agree
00:08:24.860 you have to look around
00:08:25.600 because crying
00:08:26.820 crying for the right
00:08:28.220 reasons is a healing
00:08:29.320 bro
00:08:29.620 you've got to cry
00:08:30.720 to the right people
00:08:31.640 you understand
00:08:32.100 so where you're
00:08:33.520 telling me
00:08:34.140 if I cry
00:08:35.000 it makes me weak
00:08:36.000 or rah rah
00:08:36.660 I've cried
00:08:37.880 because now
00:08:38.620 I've got over
00:08:39.240 but she didn't say
00:08:39.820 weak though
00:08:40.300 no but I'm saying
00:08:41.180 some people look
00:08:41.880 at it as a different
00:08:42.760 angle
00:08:43.100 but personally
00:08:44.900 you can't tell me
00:08:47.900 I'm not crying
00:08:49.760 and I must be
00:08:50.560 dead
00:08:50.760 because I'm marling
00:08:51.540 this sounds bad
00:08:52.860 you know
00:08:53.220 this sounds bad
00:08:54.120 but like
00:08:54.500 I do think men
00:08:55.560 that like cry
00:08:56.440 are weaker
00:08:57.140 see in general
00:08:58.080 yeah
00:08:58.400 no because
00:08:59.080 think about
00:08:59.480 I disagree
00:09:00.320 I disagree
00:09:00.980 but hear me out
00:09:02.520 hear me out
00:09:02.940 hear me out
00:09:03.260 hear me out
00:09:03.700 as to why
00:09:04.140 if we have guy A
00:09:05.320 that cries 10 times a month
00:09:06.660 and guy B that cries 0 times a month
00:09:08.320 who's stronger
00:09:08.940 like I just think like
00:09:10.300 I know there's exceptions
00:09:11.600 but it's like
00:09:12.300 let me ask that question
00:09:14.920 what she just said
00:09:15.920 yeah
00:09:16.140 the guy say it again
00:09:17.400 let me ask
00:09:17.920 if guy A cries 10 times a month
00:09:20.720 and guy B cries 0 times a month
00:09:23.000 who's stronger
00:09:23.860 I go gym
00:09:24.620 every fucking day
00:09:26.120 that guy there
00:09:27.200 cannot do me nothing
00:09:28.520 I'm definitely stronger
00:09:29.920 than this done
00:09:30.480 so there's nothing to do with
00:09:32.100 oh whether
00:09:32.640 do you cry 10 times a month
00:09:33.780 no no
00:09:34.240 but I'm saying
00:09:34.680 it don't make you weaker
00:09:35.780 if you cry
00:09:36.320 talk into your mic
00:09:37.120 oh sorry
00:09:37.660 it doesn't make you weaker
00:09:39.020 if you're crying
00:09:39.800 this is what I'm trying to show
00:09:40.560 the people then
00:09:41.240 do you understand
00:09:41.880 it's not a weak ting
00:09:43.500 when you're crying
00:09:44.460 it's a release ting
00:09:45.460 it's what's happened
00:09:47.140 and what you're going through
00:09:48.320 it's emotions
00:09:48.780 everyone's got feelings
00:09:49.700 do you understand
00:09:50.560 I agree with you
00:09:52.180 it doesn't need to be
00:09:55.080 one extreme or the other
00:09:56.160 but I think men are human
00:09:58.360 men have feelings
00:09:59.400 men need to cry 0.60
00:10:00.440 and if they don't
00:10:01.420 let them out
00:10:02.260 and it's not saying
00:10:02.860 it's not saying
00:10:04.360 they need to go on
00:10:05.160 Instagram live
00:10:06.320 and do it in front of everyone
00:10:07.240 or they need to do it
00:10:09.260 every single time they're out
00:10:10.240 but if they don't
00:10:10.880 they're going to bottle up
00:10:11.700 those feelings
00:10:12.180 they're going to get worse and worse
00:10:13.380 but suicide rates are so high
00:10:15.500 with men
00:10:16.120 and this is why
00:10:17.220 I would actually say
00:10:20.800 that suicide rates
00:10:21.760 are high with men
00:10:22.500 because women ruin them 1.00
00:10:23.920 financially
00:10:24.560 and take away their children 0.79
00:10:26.080 and the legal system
00:10:27.180 and it's legal for them
00:10:28.100 to do so
00:10:28.760 I would say yeah
00:10:29.940 like they zero out men
00:10:31.480 at about 45
00:10:32.460 when they've wasted 20
00:10:34.240 or you not wasted
00:10:35.580 but they've spent 20 years
00:10:36.660 of their life
00:10:37.100 building themselves up
00:10:38.060 having a family
00:10:38.860 and women just say 1.00
00:10:39.900 I'm not feeling it today
00:10:40.880 I'm going to take your children 1.00
00:10:41.880 and have your shit 0.98
00:10:42.660 I would say that's the real reason
00:10:44.600 that suicide
00:10:45.080 and we have a society
00:10:46.500 of women telling men
00:10:48.720 how to be
00:10:49.280 like teaching men 0.99
00:10:50.500 how to be women 1.00
00:10:51.320 because it's like again
00:10:52.440 at what point
00:10:53.740 is the man
00:10:55.120 like is the crying enough
00:10:56.820 right
00:10:57.360 at what point
00:10:58.260 is he a strong man
00:10:59.780 and I just think it's lying
00:11:01.420 like the girls
00:11:02.040 and no offense
00:11:02.860 no offense to you
00:11:03.500 not personally
00:11:04.100 but I feel like as women 0.95
00:11:05.800 like it sounds nice
00:11:06.740 to say yeah
00:11:07.320 cry to me
00:11:08.020 however
00:11:08.580 they do studies
00:11:09.440 on this stuff
00:11:10.100 and women lose respect 0.95
00:11:11.700 for men
00:11:12.320 when they see you cry
00:11:13.500 and they lose attraction
00:11:14.700 for you
00:11:15.180 so it sounds nice
00:11:16.780 for me to say yes
00:11:17.640 cry in front of women 1.00
00:11:18.720 but I'm being honest
00:11:21.780 that's what I was going to say
00:11:22.840 I was going to say that still
00:11:24.000 I mean
00:11:24.560 without Moojot 1.00
00:11:26.680 I was going to say yes
00:11:30.600 I don't care
00:11:31.140 if I was like
00:11:32.540 I don't want the
00:11:33.480 to say yes
00:11:33.800 I feel like
00:11:34.020 I'm being honest
00:11:34.940 because I mean
00:11:35.480 I don't know
00:11:36.100 I'm being honest
00:11:36.340 yeah
00:11:37.160 and it's not
00:11:37.620 as long as you
00:11:37.840 but I'm being honest
00:11:38.300 because it's not
00:11:38.560 anything
00:11:39.320 because I'll make a
00:11:40.280 surprise
00:11:40.820 that still
00:11:41.180 it's not
00:11:42.400 I don't want to say yes
00:11:43.900 there's no reason
00:11:44.700 I don't want to say yes
00:11:46.160 because you're saying yes
00:11:47.100 I don't want to say yes
00:11:48.280 especially if I don't know